65
"How do I … I can't breathe!" Sean sobbed.
"I killed Rhia"
"What?" Sean blinked with confusion "What?"
"Our sister. I shot her in the head. Blew the top clean off" Ianto said calmly "I looked her in the eye, told her I loved her and I was sorry then I pulled the trigger. Of course, she was being eating alive at the time but I think she heard me."
Sean gaped at him.
"Mimi knows. I told her all about that night, the bits she had blocked out. I explained about David and how we fucked up the mercying … all of it. Took her to his grave." Ianto seemed detached "I killed her. Our sister, our only beautiful sister. I blew her brains out."
Sean dropped the almost empty bottle, the thud loud. He then followed its downward path to land on his arse. Ianto walked over to sit near him as he continued to speak "All my children will die. One by one they will die. I will hold them, scream and mourn as you do now. Then I shall move on and love the next one … and the next…and the next. I am going to live forever. So is Jack. We will mate. Create. Love. Lose. Over and over. It will never get easier, it will never be right. Hope. Rosie. Dean. The Twins. Pip …oh lovely Pip. All of them. Tomorrow. Next week. Eight years. Eighty. Who knows. Only one day that pain you feel will be mine …over and over and over … I have none for you. All my heart and soul must be for the losses to come for myself."
"Shit" Sean hiccupped "Barrel of laughs, you."
"I am destined to suffer for my sins" Ianto agreed "And the sins of my father."
"I did this" Sean sobbed, collapsing against the fur of the beast who curled around him to soothe and comfort.
"Yes brother" Ianto whispered to the darkness "And this is where you are now."
.
.
.
"I was considering coming to get you" Jack said as he watched Ianto enter their bedroom, his clothing mismatched and haphazard like he had not thought it through. He had simply transformed into whatever without caring.
"He's sleeping it off" Ianto sighed as he walked over to check on Pip who was asleep on the little bed all their little ones had before graduating to their own room.
"Good. Do I have to thump him for you, my love?" Jack asked sweetly "I've been practicing my smacking face."
Ianto snorted, the anger dissipating as he looked at his love "Oh Jack. Loss is a hard price to pay for love."
"You are thinking of our pups" Jack guessed, "Why you shielded from the bond out there?"
"One of the reasons. Sean and I had things to say, brother things that were for us alone"
"And the Mara no doubt listening in eagerly, little shits" Jack growled and Ianto laughed softly as he nodded.
"Sean almost put his own pot on there, pissed them off hearing him goading me" Ianto laughed "He was so hopeful I would take the bait and tear him apart."
"Ah, that old ruse. Friendly fire" Jack snorted "I know he's you brother but he's not that bright ya know."
"Yes, but he is only human" Ianto agreed sagely "he said it himself. I am something else."
"Yeah .. you're mine" Jack smiled as he drew Ianto to him "and the orange shirt with pink suspenders is really … loud."
"Huh?" Ianto looked down at himself and snorted with amusement "Shit. I look like a drunk clown dressed me in the dark."
"Yeah, but we know the drunk clown is sleeping it off" Jack kissed him.
Strong. Hard. A bit needy. Perfect.
"We don't count losses here" Jack whispered as he kissed Ianto's earlobe "Only blessings."
"Yes Cariad" Ianto sighed, letting his clothing dissipate so only skin reminded for Jack's hands … and the little tufts of hair he liked as well. It tickles.
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..
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.
Billy stood at the graveside looking at the simple plaque and sighed, reaching out to touch it.
"Goodnight Liam" he whispered sadly, and then turned to walk away. His own love was waiting for him.
It would be a quiet night fill of sorrows.
A new day would dawn though.
As always …
Tomorrow was another day.