She doesn't sleep that night, not that she'd really expected herself to. After all, her brain is spinning with everything that has happened in the last few days, so that every time she's even still, it's just a cacophony of noise.
I'm the daughter of a monster.
Bridie's words echo in Kate's head, over and over again, until she wants to tear her hair out. She wants to dig her fingers into her brain, wants to gouge off her skin, something, anything that will just make it stop.
She runs.
She's always been fast, always light and speedy, and she relishes in the burning in her chest, at the way her lungs work, the way her toes push her off the ground with each step. She runs, because she knows the truth doesn't set anyone free. Knows that she's just transferred the greatest burden ever onto her daughter's shoulders. She runs, because there's more to the story.
She has no clear destination in mind, instead moving on instinct, taking corners at random until finally she skids to a halt in time to see a sign proclaiming HMAS CAIRNS.
She slows to a walk, not wanting her body to seize up, but at the same time finding herself struck by the letters. That she might have found her way here, in another life, has her completely transfixed, and for a moment she touches the 'C' of 'CAIRNS', closing her eyes as she recalls the shrill whistles of morning PT, and the smell of boot polish. She'd wanted that life for herself. She'd loved every minute of the academy, had relished in the discipline, the routine. She'd thrived in the environment. For the very first time, she'd been respected, appreciated for what she could do, who she was, rather than the family she'd come from.
And then she'd gotten pregnant.
No.
Then he'd gotten her pregnant.
She forces herself to keep running. She can't afford to get caught up in all these memories, because there's no way that she'd ever wish away her daughter, but she still can't deny the yearning and nostalgia for the life she'd once had. For one year, one measly year, she'd been at ADFA, and she'd felt as though she truly belonged, felt as though she had a purpose.
And then she'd had to leave.
And she is just as much a scared kid today as she was when she'd put in her papers.
"Well don't you just look like a ray of sunshine this morning?" ET grins down at her as she finishes the last of her coffee, perched stiffly on the edge of the bench top. She'd skidded into the station just before daybreak, taking her frustrations out on the punching bag in the gym before resolving to nearly drown herself in the showers, all the while downing coffee after coffee. "Seriously, what's your secret? You look so cheery it's as if you should have woodland creatures singing around you and butterflies-"
"Do you ever shut up?" Kate snaps, refilling her mug and taking another gulp. "Between you and 2Dads and all of your bullshit-"
"Whoa!" Charge wanders in, holding his hands up in surrender as though he'd just walked into the middle of a gunfight. "It's all happening in here this morning. Did they switch you to decaf again?"
Rolling her eyes, Kate fixes him with a glare so severe that Charge quickly leaves in the same direction as he'd come from, and Kate returns her attention back onto her mug. She's in no mood for small talk or pleasantries today. Right now, she needs action.
"Well, you do look tired." ET defends, plucking an apple from the bowl next to Kate and taking a large bite. "Big night at the pub? Drank more than you could swallow?"
"Those are some mighty strong words for the guy whose nickname stands for Extra-Tipsy." Kate points out. "And didn't your family ever teach you not to poke a sleeping dragon?"
"Okay, okay. I'll leave you alone." ET takes another bite, chewing thoughtfully. "But... you're okay?"
"Brilliant." Kate jumps down from the bench-top, rolling her eyes sarcastically. "Splendid." She hisses. "Just... fighting the urge to break into song." She starts in the direction of the shed, jabbing a thumb. "I'm gonna go do some cleaning."
The last thing she expects to find is him, leaning against the truck and looking utterly relaxed. His face breaks into a wide grin as he looks at her, and despite the fact that the rollers are wide open, the weak light of daybreak filtering in from the street beyond, and she can hear the voices of the guys in the other room, she feels hopelessly, undeniably trapped. Her eyes immediately dart around, searching for escape routes, and she bites down on her tongue to stop herself from yelling out.
"You hadn't called us." His voice is the same, cheerful, a slight frown in his eyes, as though there was no reason he could think of as to why she would be avoiding his calls. She remembers that. The same way he'd been in the car after, and the next few days, making her feel like she was crazy, imagining things. "Maddie was so excited to see you the other day, so I thought I'd pop on over and say hi. Make sure you got the messages."
She says nothing, stilling ten metres away from him. And for a moment her eyes close, and she remembers the day she'd returned to the academy after that Christmas, and how she'd unloaded bullet after bullet into silhouetted cardboard figures, imagining it was him. "I hope you're doing better, Kate."
"What are you doing here, Patrick?" She hates the wobble in her voice, hates the way her fingernails are digging into her flesh and her legs are turning to jelly. But most of all, she hates the nonchalance in his voice, as though he genuinely has no idea as to why she would be upset at all. "You need to leave."
He ignores her words, not giving a single sign that he'd heard her, still moving ever closer to her. "The last time we saw you I was so worried about the girls and Maddie. And I know you were too. I know Maddie especially means so much to you. You wouldn't want to see her hurt." He keeps his voice light, but she can hear the threat behind it. "After all, I know you and her had a special bond. Such a shame the way you took off without so much as an explanation-"
"Is that what you told her happened?" Kate challenges, drawing herself up.
"I just want to be sure you're getting the help you need. You were... well, you were always such a troubled child. After everything that happened with your mother and that boyfriend of hers-"
"I told you to get away from here!" She balls her hands into fists, and she longs to sink them into his flesh. "Whatever happens from here on out is my decision, not yours. And I won't be threatened by you anymore."
She wants to make him leave, wants him to feel some fraction of the pain and fear that she's felt for years and years. But he gives a soft, humourless chuckle and steps closer. "Threats? Katie, I'm not here to threaten you. I just wanted to see you. After all, I know everything... everything that happened to you when you were a child. I read your file, you know? Before we took you and Callista in. Kate, are you still having delusions? Because if you are, honey, you need to get help-" His hand reaches out and circles around her wrist. "After all, you've got a history of lying to the police. I just wouldn't want you to hurt anyone else by spinning any more of your fairy-tales."
"You raping me is a fairy-tale?" Kate hisses.
His smile turns to a snarl, and his grip on her wrist tightens. For a moment, she's back in yesteryear, and he's pinning her wrists above her in one hand, while the other- "That old story again? First Ed, now me." He tuts, shaking his head. "You'll realise that your stories benefit no one."
"Get the fuck away from me!"
"Hey, Kate!" 2Dads' voice rings out clearly, and Patrick lets go of her arm as though she'd suddenly burned him. In one fluid motion, he takes a step back, so smoothly she wouldn't have seen it if she hadn't been looking. 2Dads strides up towards them both, eyes darting between them. "You good?"
"She's fine. We're just catching up-" Patrick begins, turning his charm on 2Dads, and she hates how effective an act it is. The same one she'd fallen for all those years ago. "We go way back, don't we Kate-"
2Dads doesn't take his eyes off Kate, completely ignoring Patrick. "Buff wants to see you. Something about the harnesses?" She knows his words are nothing more than an excuse for her to leave if she wants to, but before she can open her mouth, Patrick claps a hand on Kate's shoulder.
"She'll be there in a minute."
2Dads doesn't budge. "Actually, Sir, I'm afraid you need to leave. No civilians in the truck shed."
Both men are smiling, but it's clear that the grins are anything but joyful. Patrick's tongue flicks out briefly to lick his lips, before he says delicately, "I'm catching up with my daughter." He throws an arm around Kate's shoulder, and she physically recoils. "Surely there's an exception for family?"
"Afraid not." 2Dads clicks his tongue and steps closer, so that he's barely a metre away from them.
For a moment, Kate is about to shout out a warning to 2Dads, because she doesn't know what Patrick is about to do, but he has that same dangerous look in his eyes. A second later though, he holds his hands up in defence. "Okay. No problem. I'll be seeing you, Katie. Think about what I said."
Kate doesn't turn to watch him leave, keeping her gaze firmly on the truck. And she remembers being in labour with Bridie and gritting her teeth, imagining horrific punishments being inflicted upon Patrick. She longs to run him over with the truck. A moment later, she feels rather than sees 2Dads move closer to her. "He's gone." He whispers softly. Kate says nothing, her gaze fixed firmly on her shoes. She can't believe what had just happened, that Patrick would dare to come here. After what seems like a lot of hesitation, 2Dads touches a hand gently to her shoulder. "You want me to call the cops?"
"No." She comes out of her reverie, shaking her head. "No. No cops." Of that, she's certain. One hand absentmindedly rubs the spot on her wrist where he'd grabbed her, jabbering feverishly. "I'm... I'm okay."
2Dads looks unconvinced, and for a moment Kate wishes that this was the Navy. Then at least, she could order 2Dads to leave her alone. He leans a little closer, muttering hesitantly. "Listen, I... I don't know what I'm supposed to do or say, but... I heard what you said. What he did." 2Dads hesitates. "Kate, you need to-"
"I don't need to do anything, okay?" Kate snaps, because they're the same things that Cal had told her, the same things Bridie had said. As if filing a report would do her any good. As if telling anyone had helped her last time. "Just... just forget it, okay?"
"But-" He's cut off though, as a loud alarm rings through the shed, and the sound might just have been sent down by the angels, so welcoming is the harsh sound to her.
"I don't know what you thought you heard, but just drop it, okay? Let's just get to work, okay?" She cuts him off as they move towards the truck, pulling their boots on. "Don't mention it again."
"It... must be a big one." Spider muses, leaning forwards slightly in his chair to get a better view through the window. "I mean, so many teams are en-route." Kate sees him square his jaw, and briefly recalls her own days after first starting. Of trying to look tough, while inside you're terrified.
"Not yet. And hopefully not at all." Dutchy chimes in. "Just do what you need to do, and don't waste time thinking about other stuff." He reaches over and claps the kid on the back, but Kate isn't entirely sure he's finding Dutchy's words at all encouraging.
"Look, we have a really volatile situation going." Buffer agrees, and they all fall silent. "We've had a petrol tanker lose control and crash into a service station. We've got fuel everywhere and a very real risk of fire at any moment, plus people trapped in a building with a risk of structural damage. At the moment, it seems like it's not a question of if the building comes down, but when. Team Delta are going to assist with the evacuations while Team Bravo are going to be working on securing the rig and stemming the flow of fuel. We do not want an fuel-fed fire. We need to work quickly, and we need to stick together!" The truck skids to a stop and they all start to move. "Ready?"
She's used to walking into husks of buildings, used to battling through smoke and heat and landscapes that look as though they could be from hell itself, just to rescue people. She's used to seeing twisted, horrific scenes, used to the smell of smoke clinging to her with each step. It's things like this that make her worry. Scenes that just look normal. She knows that danger hides in the unseen, but the apparent openness of the well-lit shopfront is setting her on edge.
"Those that can walk, make your way to the back of the building, and you'll be escorted out through the emergency exit!" Dutchy calls in his commanding tone, gesturing in the direction they'd come from. The front exit is blocked by the fallen tanker, broken glass coating the ground like glittering crystal.
For the most part, everyone seems to be okay. The early hour had meant that the shopfront is mostly empty, save for a handful of early commuters, perhaps stopping in for some petrol and a morning coffee. Kate's eyes rake over the scene, taking in the mess of chip packets and soft drink that are all over the floor after one of the shelves have tipped. Rounding the corner, she comes across a woman crouching next to a man. "Ma'am, are you hurt?"
"I'm fine. But he's stuck." She gestures towards his feet, and Kate sees that the shelf has fallen on them. "I thought I could lift it, but-"
"Okay, no worries." Kate's eyes scan him briefly. Maybe broken ankles, cuts, bruising. "We'll have him out at any moment. Do you know his name?"
"I don't know him." The woman shakes her head. "He kept muttering Alex, but I don't know if that's his name."
"Okay." Kate nods. "You head towards the exit." Kate gestures in the direction, before turning her attention to the shelf. It's heavier than she'd expected, maybe weighted at the base to reduce the risk of it falling. "Shit. 2Dads?"
A sudden wave of heat sends them both off-guard, and a moment later Kate hears the clattering of several pieces of ceiling falling to the ground. Almost immediately, Buffer's voice sounds in her ear. "We have active fire, and I don't know how much longer this building will hold. It's crumbling. Get out."
And then Marshall's voice. "Evacuate! Team Delta, get out!"
Kate glances around. Most of the team are already out, assisting the walking wounded. Only 2Dads remains, seeing one final woman through the door. "2Dads!" Kate calls again. "Now!" 2Dads rushes over and, with their combined strength, they lift the shelf up. There's definite crashes and bangs now, not to mention the frequent calls through the radio in her ear.
We're losing control of this blaze
Worried the tanker is about to go
How's that perimeter?!
Are they out of the shop yet?!
"We need to get out of here." Kate says, running a cursory glance over the man's leg. There's blood, probably from the metal shelf, and one of his ankles is twisted, maybe broken. "2Dads, you get him out! I'll do a final sweep and-"
"Alex." The man mutters, eyes still closed.
"Who's Alex?" Kate presses, eyes darting over the rest of the mess, making sure there's no one else. "Is that you?"
He shakes his head, almost imperceptively. "Baby." It's only then that she catches sight of the dummy, lying innocently next to him.
As if on cue, there's a soft mewling cry, and Kate curses. A loud crashing to her right, and Kate just manages to move as more of the roof falls. "Shit! Get him out, I'll-"
"There!" 2Dads lunges forwards, leaving Kate to support the man, and just manages to tug the baby capsule from its spot, half-hidden amongst twisties and cheezels. The baby in it is dusty and screaming, but Kate takes it as a good sign. He's breathing. "Kate, let's get out of-"
Kate sees the scaffolding fracture, and acts instinctively. Pushing the man off her, through the door, Kate grabs 2Dads arm and shoves him forwards with all her might. She has a brief flash of the baby capsule, still dangling off his arm, before the world around her crumbles, and she knows no more.