95

Kris finally gave in and decided to check out the Wardrobe House. Alli had found some lovely things, told him he would be surprised so now he went expecting to find some folded thing on some shelves from raids and such, like the security clothing.

He did not expect this.

First of all … someone he had never met was in there, laughing as he waltzed about in a dress, Martha laughing as well while she scolded him and threw things at him that looked like gold coins. He saw Kris and smiled, "Hey-Ho, I'm Andy."

"Hi" Kris blinked. "Er… why have I not seen you at the meals and stuff?"

"I usually do the security watch on the CCTV so Tosh can eat. I eat early with our kids who don't want to wait for the evening meal. Of course Bella does, she sits with Dean and Frankie. 3Ms." He smiled.

"I thought … I thought Mickey was her fella" Kris was interested as more laughter and than he recalled something about Martha being greedy. "Really? Poly?"

"Yeah. Well … more like a triangle or … ah …. Star? No that's not right, was never good with shapes me… well … a threesome where we ALL love one another" Andy blushed "Mickey is a lovely man and … well. Love is love. We are all very happy ta."

"Well … nice frock"

"Oh. Ta. I'm the same size as Martha usually is and she wanted to know if this one fitted. Cow makes me try them on when she is… growing." Andy said as he proudly pointed at her "Lovely isn't she."

Kris smiled then looked around "So … who's in charge here?"

"ME!" Errol said, coming out of a side room with a huge grin and Kris saw immediately that the teenager had DS and a large heart.

"Well then my good man, I want some clothes!"

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Ianto was the first to notice, looking up from the book he was reading as Kris waltzed into the room and stood with his hands on his hips and a look of glee. Ianto knew where that had come from, had picked the clothing from a huge stack back at Torchwood House and had wondered at the time why he had, now knew something about the Scots always amused him.

Kris swished his kilt as he walked around the table to lean over, knowing his legs were on display as he did not have the right socks. Should have, Ianto had packed them too. Maybe they were still under the kilts in the box "you know. The socks are there."

"Really?" Kris swung to address his friend and some of the kids around Ianto's feet watched with wide eyes, the story Ianto was reading by the fire forgotten as they watched Kris sashay about without it being a party or something.

Then Pip looked up from the … whatever he was drawing … and looked at Kris with open shock, where he was laying on his stomach with the paper on the floor he could see WAYYYYYYY too much. Pip's mouth fell open and then a mouthful of stuff seemed to spew out and Ianto blinked as he found that Poppy had known more Scottish than they had known. Seems Nainny had taught him some rude words and Ianto was also aware that he and Kris could understand the little man perfectly, as could his father who gaped from the nearby table. Really? Knows Scottish but not Welsh?

"PIP!"

Pip stood and pointed at Kris, still roaring with anger as he hooked the edge of the kilt, then threw his arms around it at Kris's thigh level which was surprisingly high for a little fella.

"Well … ah… I think you should consider wearing shorts under that while around children and …ah…drafts" Ianto giggled "He's a little horrified at the thought of the girls seeing your goolies."

"That is what he's calling them, aye!" Kris roared with mirth, reaching down to stroke the little head "Ahhhh ya bonnie wee man. I didn't think. Of course me height is not good around little uns. I will wear some goolie holders, OK?"

Pip seemed to have regain some control of himself as he huffed and looked up at him "Too right! You could put an eye out!"

Kris tried valiantly not to laugh as Ianto hysterically wept in the chair, the kids all asking what goolies are and Ianto pointing at Pip as he choked out that he should answer that one.

"More than one hand full!" came the cryptic reply as the little one waved his hands at Kris to shoo him from the family room, Kris' laugher echoing as he shot off to find some undies.

"Well then …" Jack said thoughtfully "I might try a kilt myself."

Ianto started to choke for real as Pip slowly turned to eyeball his father and said "No you will not! Waving that thing freely … enough babies on the way now!"

Even Pip laughed in the end.