Working on this chapter and plotting what's to come in the next few chapters was like pulling teeth, and those who know me are aware of my dentist-related anxiety. So apologies that it took longer than I'd hoped to get this one finished.

Quotes:

Clucky: "Absence makes the heart grow fonder." Maid Marian: "Or forgetful."
–Walt Disney's Robin Hood

"She was broken. She was useless. She was the pointless half of a friendship. The one who would live forever in shadows, no matter what she did."
–Susan Dennard, Windwitch

In the anemic light of predawn, Rikuo leapt into the branches of a tall cedar and, sitting, pressed his back against the trunk, breathing in the spicy aroma of the evergreen surrounding him, and enjoying the short break in their sparring. He and Itaku had started training not too long after he and Zen arrived in Tōno, and although he wasn't as winded as he'd let Itaku think he was, the intermission allowed him the opportunity to send Kagome a quick text, wishing her luck on her test.

He was a bit surprised when he got her thank you in reply, not expecting her to be up quite so early. Still, her reply had him smiling to himself, and he let his head drop back, eyes closing as he thought of the previous evening.

After making his ridiculous promise to someday take her to Tōno—a promise he had every intention of keeping—he'd finished walking Kagome to her apartment, and they'd said a short good-bye outside her door, Kagome thanking him for dinner and for his help. He chuckled lightly as he recalled her mumbled aside about still hating math.

"Yeah, I know. I can tell it's a long-standing vendetta between you and mathematics."

Kagome pressed her lips into a flat line. "And to top it off, you're going to Tōno of all places. It's like salt in a wound."

Her expression soured further at his bark of laughter. "Sorry, blue eyes. I won't be gone long, can't be with the, uh, 'romantic suspense novel' Ryūji and I are working on. But it's not like I'm disappearing"—he gestured with his cell phone—"you can always text me." Then he added teasingly, "Though if you wait as long as you did the first time to text me, I might be back in town already."

She'd stuck her tongue out at him, before laughing softly. "Well, when you get back, I'd be more than happy to, hmm, give you feedback on your novel and any developments."

He nodded. "I'll take you up on that. Oh, and since apparently you're on Kiyotsugu's site…"

She colored slightly, but said, "I'll let you know if there's anything there you could use."

"All right… Well…see you when I get back, then."

After finally telling her good-bye, Rikuo had felt as if he'd tapped a previously unused reservoir of energy, making him way too wired to sleep when he got back to the main house. He'd persuaded Zen to go ahead and leave for Tōno, figuring the sooner they went, the sooner he could return to Tokyo, and to Kagome.

For Zen's sake, they took Oboroguruma, but it certainly didn't help diminish the restless energy humming through Rikuo. On the way, Rikuo fielded questions from Zen about the investigation with Ryūji and then, which Rikuo suspected he had been building up to, questions about Kagome. Rikuo answered them all honestly. After all, especially from Zen, he had nothing to hide. Zen had been quiet afterward, pensive for several minutes. Then he'd spoken. Rikuo's jaw tightened as he thought about what Zen had said.

"She's not just a quick fuck or a pretty distraction to ease your boredom for a while, is she?"

The almost accusative tone Zen used caused Rikuo's blood to heat, though he merely replied with a clipped, "No. Why?"

Zen's dark red eyes traced his face, searching for what, Rikuo did not know. "Tread carefully, brother. A human, and a miko to boot? There will be those who won't approve."

Silence filled the ox-cart as the two men stared at each other, and the palpable tension crackled in the air. Before he could utter whatever angry retort he had planned to snarl at Zen—or deck him—Zen suddenly laughed and slapped his friend on the shoulder.

"But, hey, not like you've ever given a shit about something like that, right?"

He'd continued laughing, which dissolved into hacking coughs, but the tension between them had been broken.

Zen was correct, to some extent; after all, their unconventional approach to life had been why so many yokai had been drawn to each of the Nura men. And it wasn't exactly like a Nura man falling in love with a human woman would be news—most yokai in the clan would likely assume he took after his father and grandfather before him, his father's marriage to Yamabuki Otome notwithstanding. The fact that she was a miko, however… That might be more troublesome.

Rikuo thought of Kagome, of her smile, those bright blue eyes that shone with eagerness and enthusiasm, her quick wit and sense of humor. The hints of carefully hidden grief, anxiety, and pain he suspected were caused by what she was holding back from him. Because she was definitely keeping something from him, that much had been evident yesterday. But contrary to any conspiracy theory Karasu Tengu might think up, Rikuo felt on a soul-deep level that Kagome wasn't being secretive out of maliciousness. Hopefully, he could convince her to trust him with whatever it was. Perhaps telling her about my past in more detail would get her to open up…

No, Kagome was definitely no mere temporary distraction. How serious things became between them remained to be seen, depending on how she felt, but again Zen was right—Rikuo planned on pursuing something long-term. And if someone wants to bitch about it and start trouble… He grinned and cracked his knuckles. Well, he had never been one to back down from a fight.

Speaking of which… He leaned aside just in time, one of Itaku's sickles impaling the trunk next to his face. Guess that's my signal that break time's over.

He spotted Itaku propped up against a tree a few feet away, and using his Fear to vanish, Rikuo swung down off the branch. He saw Itaku straighten, and he put on a burst of speed, hoping to catch Itaku perhaps marginally unaware.

At the last second, Itaku's eyes shone gold, and he thrust his kama up in front of his face, crossing them to block Rikuo's two-handed downward strike and severing Rikuo's Fear. Itaku aimed a kick at Rikuo's chest, seemingly connecting before Rikuo dissolved into a mist of youki.

And so the sparring continued, the two men zipping through the mountainside in a blur, their location more readily identified by the sound of their weapons occasionally clashing than by sight. During one such clash, Itaku barely sidestepped Rikuo's thrust, catching his blade with his sickles. They stared each other in the face, arms straining, both a little breathless, neither giving an inch. Possibilities for creating an advantageous opening raced through Rikuo's mind. What about… Hmm…

It was a calculated risk; Itaku's speed was not to be easily dismissed. Oh, but I do love a challenge. Rikuo suppressed the urge to grin and flicked his eyes to the left, then widening them as if spotting something.

To his surprise, Itaku took the bait, glancing to his right momentarily. But a moment was all Rikuo needed.

Letting go of his sword with his right hand, he drew his arm back and hit Itaku square in the face, with enough force to snap his head back. For a second, Itaku staggered, and Rikuo hooked a foot behind Itaku's ankles, sweeping his feet out from under him and knocking him to the ground.

Planting a foot on the kamaitachi's chest, he pointed his sword at Itaku's throat, not even trying to mask his amazement. "Damn, I can't believe that actually worked! Didn't expect you to fall for that." Rikuo snickered and jumped back when Itaku swung a kama at the leg pinning him down.

Grinning, impatient to resume, Rikuo bounced lightly in place, as Itaku climbed to his feet. Though he'd spent almost two hours in his yokai form with Kagome Monday afternoon, and then three hours en route to Tōno with Zen and roughly another three training before their break, Rikuo barely noticed the energy expenditure.

Once upright, Itaku spat blood on the ground and wiped his mouth with the back of his arm, and then regarded Rikuo with fleeting approval and a trace of appreciation. "You're on point this morning. What, you finally get laid?"

Although the thought of having Kagome in his bed brought a lazy smirk to his face, Rikuo didn't allow the kamaitachi's gibe to affect his reactions when Itaku's sickles whipped toward him, dodging with ease.

Instead, he fired back, "Resorting to taunts, are we? I must have the upper hand," and used his Fear to disappear again.

"Tch. So that's a no, then. She reject you or something?"

Hardly, Rikuo thought, fighting back a laugh that would reveal his location. Sorry, Itaku, but trying to rile me up to distract me isn't going to work today. An idea occurred to him suddenly, and he shimmered into view, holding his hand up to pause their training.

"What gives?" Itaku asked, skidding to a halt.

"So…I have a proposal for you…"

Itaku crossed his arms and said nothing, waiting.

"How about a wager? Whoever wins the majority of our sparring matches while I'm here wins a favor from the other person."

Itaku shrugged, but a hint of a smile appeared. "Are you so eager to be indebted to me?"

"I wouldn't be so quick to discount me if I were you, especially when there's something to be gained," Rikuo replied. The ability to bring a certain miko with me here, specifically.

Itaku eyed him suspiciously. "You're up to something, aren't you? Just what is it you want?" He didn't wait for Rikuo to answer, darting forward to attack with renewed vigor.

Rikuo dodged a slash aimed for his throat. "Nope. Nuh-uh. Winner gets an unspecified favor at the time of their choosing." And since I know Itaku will honor his word, he won't be able to weasel out of it when I want to bring Kagome. Though the kamaitachi had mellowed some since Rikuo had first met him, he still wasn't convinced Itaku would be thrilled about a miko coming to Tōno. Of course, if it made her happy, Rikuo didn't give a rat's ass what Itaku thought.

Itaku scowled at him. "That dopey grin on your face tells me you're plotting something."

"Perhaps. But why does that even matter? Or are you convinced you can't win?" He laughed at Itaku's more colorful suggestions about what he could do with his "overconfident assumptions of victory."

Oh…but they're not just assumptions. I mean to win…and I will.

For Kagome, Tuesday morning dawned far less pleasant, having begun way too soon, as she'd unfortunately spent a significant portion of the night tossing and turning. Not due to nightmares, but some unspecified uneasiness, the source of which evaded her.

At first, she chalked it up to anxiety over her upcoming math test and even tried some late-night studying, hoping the dry material might make her drowsy. No such luck. The problem wasn't being sleepy—she was plenty tired, yet every time she lay down to go to sleep, she couldn't.

After several hours of alternating between snatches of restless sleep and scrutinizing the ceiling or shoving her head under her pillow, she left her bed in hopes the couch would be more soothing. In the past, she'd found previously elusive sleep by swapping locations. Instead, every lump and seam in the cushions of the sofa, every tick of the clock, every rustle and murmur from the streets outside served only to make her increasingly more edgy. At that point, she wondered if perhaps it was her independent study weighing on her mind and attempted to work on it. However, she had absolutely no ability to concentrate, likely from lack of sleep, though an errant, unwelcome thought postulated maybe it was because she wasn't as good at the subject as she claimed to be. Sure, she'd been the shikon miko and had experienced things that few—if any—other people had, but that didn't necessarily add up to being a yokai scholar.

Oh shut up. I know that. That's why I'm in school for it…to get more knowledgeable.

She sought comfort in a warm cup of tea following that, to no avail, and after one last-ditch effort to get some sleep, she gave up and took a long, leisurely hot bath.

As the diluted glow of sunrise crept into her apartment, she fixed herself breakfast and had just sat down to eat when her phone pinged, a text notification popping up.

Rikuo: Morning, blue eyes. Good luck on your test today!

The edges of her lips lifted slightly, and she sent back a "thanks! and thanks again for the help! ^_^" She really did appreciate his help—she felt far more confident now, after the study session, than she usually did. Plus she'd enjoyed dinner together and his company. Not to mention their get-together had had other benefits as well…

I still can't believe he's a yokai! Hanyō. Whatever. And the Hyakki Yakō leader at that!

Her stomach knotted and churned as guilt slithered through her at the memory of Rikuo's straightforward reply to her blurted-out question. He'd had no problems being honest…

A little voice helpfully supplied the rest: But you, on the other hand, seem to have no trouble being deceitful.

"Okay, that's not fair!" Kagome said out loud to the intrusive little voice as she shoved back from the table, breakfast uneaten. "My situation is completely different. I mean, come on. Time travel? Legendary priestess? Cursed by an even more legendary sacred jewel? That's the stuff of fiction. No one, human or otherwise, easily buys into that."

Your friends in the past did.

"Yeah…because they had evidence of it right in front of their faces. Not like I can demonstrate that to anyone now."

Still…she hated how afraid she was to tell him. About her. Her past. Her friends.

Her friends… No matter how much time had passed, the heartache of being forgotten by those she'd held so dear gutted her. Sure, she wasn't nearly as hypersensitive as she'd been, the pain not as excruciatingly raw, but gods did it still hurt.

Sometimes the wishing, the wanting, the hoping to see them again—just once!—was overpowering. A huge chunk of her life had been ripped away, and while she didn't exactly regret her decision, at the time she also hadn't realized how unbelievably difficult coping with it would be. Not to mention the self-doubt. Could she have done something to prevent it? Bargained with the shikon no tama for a different arrangement? Or…the worst…was she so inconsequential, so unimportant that her friends forgot her so easily? Would Rikuo someday forget her too? Choose someone else over her? Perhaps she simply wasn't the kind of person who people fell in love with…

Kagome shook her head against that line of thinking. It was completely irrational, distorted, and served no purpose. She knew that. Yet, particularly when she was already feeling down, it was tough to banish those intrusive feelings. A pity they can't be vanquished as readily as demons. I'd have it made.

The thoughts made her vulnerable to further negativity, and it became an endless cycle, with a feeling of hopelessness engulfing her. The anxiety that no matter what, in the future, she was doomed to be alone, for however long her new lifespan would be. But that is your fate, isn't it? Can you say for certain that isn't the case?

She didn't know why she was having such a rough start to her day, particularly not after Monday had been so pleasant, and it was under this confused, pessimistic dark cloud that Kagome made her way to campus. Her mom and Sōta texted her to wish her good luck on her math test—she'd complained about it when they'd had dinner Sunday. It lifted her spirits marginally, but she didn't have the energy to text back. Nor did she reply when Natsumi texted her several times, though she knew she'd catch hell later for it.

She completed her math test in record time, even with double-checking her work, and for a few moments before self-doubt crept back in, Kagome felt confident she had done well. Once she turned in the exam, she meandered across campus, heading for the quiet solace of the library, though she wasn't certain even that would cheer her up today. She had just reached the library entrance when a voice called her name. Kagome cringed.

Busted.

"Hey! Don't you even think about ignoring me in person, Higurashi Kagome."

She turned to face Natsumi, clasping her hands and shifting her weight from foot to foot in anticipation of the lecture to come. "Hi…"

Natsumi's eyes narrowed, and she opened her mouth, presumably to fuss at Kagome, yet stopped. Kagome watched Natsumi's catlike gaze sweep over her, and her friend's expression softened. "Bad day?"

Kagome shrugged. "I guess? I don't know… Nothing 'bad' has happened, so—"

Natsumi cut her off. "You know as well as I do there's no logic to these things. Sometimes you wake up, and even though there's not anything especially 'wrong,' you just feel…off. Down."

Kagome swallowed hard and nodded.

"So, I'm hardly claiming I can make this funk magically disappear, but what I can do is skip my evening class and come hang out with you." She flung up a hand as Kagome started to object. "It won't hurt my grade one bit, and you need a friend. Besides…if memory serves me correctly…you owe me some details about a certain someone?" Natsumi said, her tone lightly teasing.

It had what she supposed was Natsumi's desired effect. Kagome smiled briefly and shook her head. "You're insufferable. But…okay."

Natsumi looped an arm around her waist, squeezing gently, and Kagome stiffened, leaning away reflexively. Natsumi immediately let her arm drop, unoffended and seeming to understand. "Remember what I used to tell you? Back when we were roommates? I wasn't lying, you know."

"You are not alone."

The oppressive fog she had been lost in all day slowly began to dissipate, Natsumi's aura warming her like a fire on a chilly winter day. "I know…and thank you… It's just…ugh, hard to stop assuming no one understands how you feel…" Kagome said quietly.

"Wanna go somewhere more quiet? Maybe your apartment?" At Kagome's nod, they began heading in the direction of Kagome's apartment. "And I get that it's hard to stop assuming. Odds are pretty slim you'll find someone who understands exactly how you feel. But that doesn't mean you won't find people who can sympathize and empathize." She seemed to anticipate Kagome's unspoken protest, hurrying to add, "And no, before you even think it, you're not a burden. To anyone. You've got people here to support you, baka."

"I know, I know." Kagome angled a glance at Natsumi, smiling when Natsumi looked back. "You sure accounting is the right profession for you? Seems to me you'd be a good counselor."

Natsumi waved a hand. "Nah, too stressful. And I doubt good counselors call their patients stupid," she said flippantly. "Besides, math's easy."

Kagome groaned. "Maybe for you…"

"Speaking of which…how'd the test go? Did studying with Rikuo-kun help?" Natsumi's tone was sly. She would likely try to claim she's using it as a distraction to lift my mood…but I know a fishing attempt when I hear one. All the same…I can't say it's unappreciated.

"All right already. The studying helped, and the test went fine. Speaking of which, let me text my mom and Sōta back real quick. They texted me earlier…"

"When you were ignoring everyone?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. You hush."

Kagome sent off short replies—and apologies for the delay in her response—and then sent one extra:

Kagome: Thank you for the help yesterday! Pretty sure I passed.

A reply popped up shortly after.

Rikuo: "Pretty sure"? Have more faith in me than that!

"Oh-ho! What's that little smile for?" Natsumi asked, peering over at Kagome's phone.

Shit! Busted again. She tried to angle it away from Natsumi's view, but the smirk on her friend's face told her she'd been too slow. "Just being polite!"

"Uh-huh. Polite. Riiiiight."

Thinking of Rikuo reminded Kagome of a key detail from their conversation yesterday. "Hey!" Natsumi jolted at her outburst. "I've got a bone to pick with you."

"Me?"

Kagome stopped in her tracks, halting Natsumi's progress as well. Poking her friend in the shoulder, she said, "Yes, you. But…" She lingered on the word dramatically. "To take a page out of your book, you'll have to wait till we get to my apartment to find out what it is."

"Kagome-chaaaaan…"

"Turn-about is fair play, ya know."

Fortunately the walk only took around fifteen minutes, because by the time they reached her apartment, Kagome wasn't certain she could handle Natsumi's persistent pleading to talk about it now. On the flip side, a twisted little part of her was thoroughly enjoying tormenting her friend…and it had lifted her mood quite a bit.

Maybe Rikuo was right… Maybe I am evil. The thought brought with it an uncomfortable blend of remorse and amusement, with a dash of apprehension. Ugh, stop. I'm going to tell him. I just have to figure out the best way…and find the right time…

"Oh no, you don't," Natsumi burst out suddenly, drawing Kagome out of her guilt-ridden thoughts.

"Huh?"

"I know that look. You're considering backing out of whatever you wanted to talk about."

Kagome winced at how near to the truth Natsumi's observation came. "No, no, I promise. I won't back out." Of talking to you, or to Rikuo, she thought, her resolve strengthening and in turn, mollifying her troubled conscience somewhat.

Natsumi gave a sharp nod of acknowledgment, and Kagome flopped onto the couch, expecting her friend to take her usual spot on the other end. However, instead of sitting down, Natsumi went to the kitchen and dug around in the cabinets, apparently finding what she was looking for after a moment. Kagome let her eyes close; she was used to Natsumi making herself at home.

A few minutes later, Natsumi nudged her and pressed something into her hands. Kagome opened her eyes and smiled gratefully. It was nothing more than a cup of ramen, but it was more than she'd had all day.

Natsumi sat down in her usual spot then, tucking her legs underneath her and giving Kagome a chance to eat before asking, "Well, what's this bone you have to pick with me?"

Kagome took a couple more bites and then set the empty cup down. "The other night…when we had dinner? You acted like you weren't sure, but you knew that not only does Rikuo believe in yokai, but he is one!"

Natsumi's mouth fell open, and then she grabbed Kagome's hands and squealed, bouncing a little in her seat. "He finally told you?"

"Well…sort of…" No, actually, my tactless ass blurted out the question.

Natsumi narrowed her eyes at Kagome. "What does that mean? Spill. And don't leave any details out."

She told Natsumi what had really happened when they met at the library, giving only a cursory explanation of her miko powers, and then what she'd learned recently. As she talked, perhaps because she was able to discuss it, the aching tightness in her shoulders began to ease.

"Really? A miko, like a shrine priestess?" At Kagome's nod, Natsumi said excitedly, "Oh, that's so romantic! A forbidden love…"

"What on earth are you going on about?"

"It's like Saori-chan and I used to joke about Rikuo-kun and Yura-chan—forbidden love between an onmyoji and a yokai. Only better because you two actually have feelings for one another!"

Kagome groaned. "Hold your horses, Natsumi-chan. This isn't one of your romance novels or crazy matchmaking daydreams! Besides, I never said I had feelings for Rikuo."

Natsumi crossed her arms over her chest, unimpressed. "You really going to sit there and tell me that you don't feel anything for him?"

"Well…I…" Kagome hedged.

"Okay, here's the deal." A spark of anger flashed in Natsumi's eyes, surprising Kagome. "You don't have feelings for Rikuo-kun, fine. But if that's the case, end it. Now. Don't jerk him around, okay? He is a good guy, the best—aside from Kuro, that is. I don't know what you've been through since you've never told me, which is fine, but he's been through some crap too. We all have, but Rikuo-kun more than any of us. You want someone who gets what it's like to have bad days? To have invisible scars? He would. Assuming you'd trust him enough to tell him. But if you don't intend on taking this seriously… It's not fair—"

Kagome waved her hands frantically. "Whoa, whoa, damn, Natsumi-chan, chill." Natsumi's cheeks pinked, and she looked away. "You took that the wrong way."

Natsumi whipped her head around. "So…" she prompted.

"I do," Kagome mumbled, studying her fingernails.

"You do what?" Natsumi asked stubbornly.

Damnit, is she really going to make me spell this out? "I…feel…something. I don't know what. Ever since I met him, I felt some kind of, I don't know, a connection of sorts." The tangled knot of overwhelming emotions relaxed with the admission, and with the revelation of how good it felt to actually admit it, Kagome stopped and slumped back into the sofa pillows, covering her face with her hand. "Oh holy hell, I'm going to wind up falling in love with him, aren't I?"

A snicker came from the other side of the couch. "If I have anything to say about it…"

Without removing her hand or sitting up, Kagome tossed a pillow at her friend. A muffled squawk told her she'd hit the mark.

"Kagome-chan." Natsumi's tone was serious now. "I know I don't have to say it, but I'm going to. I'm always here, if you ever want to talk…about whatever happened to you," she said softly.

Kagome swallowed hard. Feigning confusion, she said, "I don't know what you mean."

A hand grasped hers, prying it away from her face, and she opened her eyes to Natsumi's too-close face peering into hers. Kagome playfully pushed her back and sat up.

Natsumi regarded her and let out a long sigh. "When I was thirteen, I nearly died. A group of yokai from Shikoku came to defeat the Nuragumi, and one of them—called Sodemogi-sama—cursed me. Had it not been for Kurotabō, and Senba-sama, I would have died." Natsumi told Kagome about Tamazuki and his Shikoku yokai, Sodemogi-sama, and what happened to her, and to the Nura clan during that time.

"Natsumi-chan…"

Natsumi lifted her hand, cutting her off. "Not too long after that, I stumbled upon something, no, someone I shouldn't have, was held captive by a yokai, who used me…my likeness, or essence, I don't know…to bring to life a sort of yokai doppelgänger." Her face was deathly pale, but her voice remained steady as she explained the urban legend of the girl at the subway station, and how she was trapped, but that yokai copy version of Natsumi was appearing on the subway, luring away and killing those unfortunate enough to encounter her, and how it had almost gotten Saori killed, too. "It was like a really sick, twisted riddle. The victims the subway girl kidnapped had to find 'the lost me' within forty-four seconds, or—" She took a deep breath. "Anyway…it would've succeeded if, again, it hadn't been for Kurotabō."

Pieces of the puzzle began to fit together. "Is that why you don't use the subway?" Kagome asked.

Natsumi pursed her lips. "Partly. But not completely. That…" Now her voice wavered, and she dropped her head. "That's a different story. I think I should let Rikuo-kun tell you about that…it's too complicated for me to only explain my part, and the larger part involves him. Suffice it to say…at Shibuya station, the same yokai who used me to create the subway girl turned me into a yokai—"

"He what? Turned you into a yokai?" Kagome interrupted. Damn, that's some Naraku-level shit. No wonder she was so understanding when I had nightmares in college…

A tiny head bob confirmed it. "That time, it was Rikuo-kun who rescued me. In spite of insane circumstances and overwhelming odds, but not without cost," Natsumi whispered. Then she brought her head up and met Kagome's gaze, her catlike one fierce. "The reason I'm telling you this is because I trust you. Because you're my friend. Because I can now. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner. Believe me, Kagome-chan. I get how hard it is to live a double life…to have to hide things that no one else understands or comprehends. Does Sōta-kun or Mitsu-basan know about yokai? About your miko powers?" At Kagome's nod, she gave a bitter laugh. "Must be nice. My parents don't know about yokai. Or about Kuro not being human. And there's no way I can tell them."

Fresh guilt slammed into Kagome, as forcefully as if someone had dropped a cartoon anvil on her. "Natsumi-chan, I…"

Natsumi shook her head. "Don't. It isn't your fault, and I'm not telling you this to make you feel bad. But I want you to understand…when I say you're not alone, I mean it. And no one gets it more than Rikuo-kun." She sighed and then smiled. "Listen. I know I'm sentimental and meddle sometimes."

"Sometimes?" Kagome yelped.

"Okay, maybe more than sometimes," Natsumi amended. "But what I'm doing a crappy job of trying to say is…don't be afraid to love, to let yourself be loved, no matter who it is. I'm not trying to force you to love Rikuo-kun. It doesn't have to be him. You deserve to be loved. You are worthy."

Kagome blinked rapidly and stared down at her hands, twisting the hem of her shirt. "I… I was fifteen. And…" She hated herself for lying, hated the guilt that churned her gut at doing it again and again, but she couldn't quite bring herself to tackle that enormously difficult subject of time traveling to the Sengoku era. Not yet, anyway. "And I was…um…hiking a long way from here with some…friends…and I was attacked by a yokai, a centipede yokai, and that's when my spiritual powers made themselves known."

What a piss-poor substitution for the truth…a nasty little voice criticized from the back of her mind. She ignored it.

Natsumi sat silently, listening, as Kagome spun a short tale about how one of these out-of-town friends was a hanyō and, among other things, how they'd destroyed a cursed object, and that it had cursed her.

"And the curse?" Natsumi asked softly.

Again, feeling pathetic, she crafted a vague story resembling the truth. "They…they lost all their memories of me. And supposedly I'll now live as long as a yokai does. And outlive all my friends and family." More than she had told Ryūji, but then, unlike Ryūji, she trusted Natsumi didn't have any ulterior motives for asking about her curse.

For long minutes, neither woman spoke, each lost in her own memories. For Kagome, it was an agonizing amalgam of reminiscence and remorse, the lies and half-truths she had just told sickening her, yet at the same time feeling a sense of relief from discussing it. She rubbed the heel of her palm against her chest, against the dull ache there, which currently she was uncertain if it was the product of her curse or of anxiety.

She brought it on herself, really. She was simultaneously lingering in the past, dwelling on the loss of her friends and the curse she bore, yet continuing to push against the past, fighting the way it had affected her, shaped her into who she was today. If she could just accept it, this new normal, and move forward.

Easier said than done, of course. Adjusting to change was anxiety-inducing, she knew that, even when the change was a good thing. All of it—most of all the evasions and falsehoods—was exhausting.

Just until I tell Rikuo. Then I can tell Natsumi. Probably. Depending on how he reacts…

Eventually, as the sun was beginning to set and the natural light waning, Natsumi reached over and turned on a lamp, and then broke their silence, asking, "About the curse… They lost all their memories?" At Kagome's nod, she leaned in and wrapped her arms around her friend. Kagome didn't pull away, instead appreciating the physical reassurance that she wasn't alone. "I'm so sorry, Kagome-chan. So, so sorry. Can you break it?"

Unlikely, considering where it came from. "Dunno. Probably not."

Natsumi pulled back and studied her face. "Have you told Rikuo-kun?"

Razor-sharp guilt tore into her gut. "Um…no. We…didn't really have time yesterday, and then he left for Tōno…" Evade, evade, evade.

Natsumi nodded. "Well, I'm not going to tell you what to do…but you should seriously consider telling him. If nothing else, he'll understand what it's like to have a curse."

"Oh?" Kagome's curiosity was piqued.

Natsumi grinned slowly, slyly. "Not my story to tell."

"You. Are. Impossible," Kagome groaned. But it's nice to have the reassurance that she thinks he'll understand… I wonder if Ryūji told Rikuo about it…or what he knows of it at least.

"You know you love me!" Natsumi said cheerfully. "So…speaking of—"

"Yokai!" Kagome broke in. She'd been dying to know more ever since last night. "What kind of yokai is Kurotabō?"

Natsumi tapped her lips thoughtfully. "Hmm…supposedly he is the assassin monk, but also a yokai who protects children."

Kagome's eyes widened. "Wait, as in…" She leapt up and grabbed one of her books, thumbing through the aging, yellowed pages till she found it. Then she held the book out, open, so Natsumi could see the image on the page. "This?" It was an illustration of a dark-haired yokai wearing black Buddhist priest–esque robes and a conical straw hat, and holding a shakujō.

Natsumi's face lit up. "Yep! Wow, where did you find this? I can't believe Kuro's in this!"

"I got it from that used bookstore, you know the one I've taken you to before?" She shrugged. Who cares about the book?! No wonder he reminded me of Miroku!

"Can I borrow it? Just for a day or two—I want to show Kuro." Natsumi grinned.

Kagome winced. Despite the unlikely odds of having found it at a used bookstore, it was a fairly rare, out-of-print book. "Umm…I…"

Natsumi rolled her eyes. "We're not going to hurt your book, Kagome-chan. I promise I'll take good care of it. As will Kuro—he's a yokai, not a barbarian."

Kagome couldn't help but laugh at that. "Oh, all right, then. So, back to the topic of yokai…are there really one hundred yokai in Rikuo's night parade?"

"Sheesh, Kagome-chan, I don't know! I am not the right person to answer that question."

"Ugh, fine. What other kind of yokai in the Nura clan do you know about?"

Natsumi burst out laughing. "I swear, you're nearly as bad as Kiyotsugu-kun. I should give you his email address. Okay, well, you know about Rikuo-kun and Kuro, and I assume you know about Momo and Miki… There's Tsurara-chan—she's a yuki onna—and Kappa, who should be self-evident, and Aotabō, who's kind of like Kuro, but not quite… You should get Kuro to explain… And hmm… Oh! There's Kejōrō, you remember Kejōrō, right? When you got Apollo, she drove us to the shrine and then here?"

"Yeah, the pretty one who Rikuo seemed rather familiar with," Kagome said, trying to keep the jealousy out of her tone and failing.

"What's this? The green-eyed monster creeping out? Silly, you've nothing to worry about. She's got someone, and besides, she and Rikuo-kun aren't interested in each other that way." Natsumi hesitated, slanting her gaze over to Kagome. "Ne, Kagome-chan…speaking of Rikuo-kun…"

"That was not a subtle segue, Natsumi-chan…"

"Have you texted him back?"

Kagome cocked her head in confusion. "Huh?"

Natsumi huffed, exasperated. "He replied to your text about the test, remember?"

Oh, kami, where is she going with this? "And?"

"You have zero right to call me impossible, you know. The 'and' is that you left him hanging—he told you to have more faith in him and you sent nothing… That was hours ago!"

Kagome folded her arms across her chest. "Seriously? Come on, that guy is not going to lose any sleep, figuratively speaking of course, over me not replying."

Natsumi raised an eyebrow. "You so sure about that? Besides, answer me this. If," she said, stressing the word, "Rikuo-kun hadn't gone to Tōno, what would you be doing right now—hanging out with me, or him?"

Kagome felt her face heat, and she averted her eyes.

"Uh-huh. My thoughts exactly. Dang, Kagome-chan, just text him and tell him you miss him already."

"What?" Her voice came out as little more than a squeak, and she cleared her throat. "Who said anything about missing him?"

Natsumi gestured dismissively. "Okay, so text something different. My point is…text him!"

"Can't believe I'm letting you talk me into this…" Kagome grumbled under her breath as she retrieved her cell phone. The truth was she did want to text him, but she sure as hell wasn't going to tell that to the world's most inquisitive wannabe cupid.

Now the question was…what to say?

Kagome: Hi

"You did not just text him 'hi'!" Natsumi wailed, grabbing at the phone unsuccessfully. "Kagome-chan…you are terrible at this."

There was no response for several minutes, and Natsumi prodded Kagome in the arm insistently. "See? He doesn't even know how to respond. Good grief, who just texts 'hi' and nothing else?"

"Me apparently," Kagome said dryly. "Did you consider maybe he's busy?"

"Hmph."

At least I hope that's why he's not replying. But…what if she's right? No, no, it's fine.

A second later, her phone chimed, and her heart rate kicked up as she looked down. Natsumi peeked over her shoulder, disregarding the frown Kagome directed at her.

Rikuo: Hey blue eyes. What's up?

"Blue eyes?" A Cheshire-cat smile spread across Natsumi's face. Oh fucking hell, Kagome thought. Just great. "What's that about, hmmmm?"

"I don't know. It probably doesn't mean anything," Kagome said. Truthfully, she didn't know if it meant anything.

"Pfffftt. Please. It means something all right, are you kidding me? Anyway, I'll let you off the hook for now, text him back!"

"Sheesh, will you chill out? I'm trying not to look desperate here!"

"Well, I am desperate!"

"Then you text him!" Kagome snapped, though her tone held no real anger.

Natsumi raised her hands in surrender, giggling.

Kagome: I'm being held captive by our mutual friend the matchmaker. send help.

"Hey!"

"You hush. It's true, and you know it."

A second later, his reply came.

Rikuo: Yikes. My condolences. Pretty sure that's beyond even *my* capabilities. Is it dire? Need Kuro's number?

"Know what? You two are perfect for one another. You're both jerks," Natsumi said, pouting.

Kagome: full disclosure, she knows what's being said. And she just called us both jerks
Rikuo: I mean, Natsumi is awesome and the coolest person I know

"Nice try, buddy, but you're not digging out of this one so easily."

Kagome: no dice. she's on to us.
Rikuo: so how would you feel if I didn't come back from Tōno?

"Chicken…" Natsumi said it in a lilting sing-song as she pulled out her own phone. Now just who is she texting? Surely she's not going to text Rikuo herself. Kagome wouldn't put it past her.

Kagome: she called you a chicken. And tbh I didn't expect the Kanto yokai supreme commander to be a coward…

"Kagome-chan!" Natsumi laughed. "That's not very nice!"

Kagome scoffed. "Says the person who called him a chicken? And a jerk?"

It took a few moments, but then her phone pinged.

Rikuo: oi… that's the way of it then, is it? Remember, you're not the one who has to live under the same roof as her
Rikuo: still…there's no way I'd stay here. Natsumi's meddling is a small price to pay if it means I get to see you

The air left her lungs in a rush. Does…does that mean he misses me? Nahhh… Something told her, though, that he hadn't been teasing.

Natsumi let out an ear-piercing squeal. "That's the sweetest thing ever! Oh, he is so head over heels for you."

Kagome rubbed her ears exaggeratedly. "Pretty sure that noise you just made could kill small woodland creatures. Forget what I said about you being a counselor. You should become one of those old-school professional matchmakers. Might as well get paid for what you're already doing."

"Hmph. I can't help it if I'm a romantic," Natsumi said petulantly.

"A menace is what you are…" Kagome shot her a sidelong glance. "And you know what else? I think Natsumi-voyeur-time is over."

Kagome: brb shooing the matchmaker out the door

"Hey! You should be appreciative of this so-called meddlesome matchmaker!"

Kagome stood and then pulled her friend up off the couch and into a hug. "You betcha. More thankful than you could know, you pain in my ass. Thanks for being my friend, even when I'm being a terrible one."

Natsumi squeezed her tightly. "You aren't terrible, okay? Just in a rough spot…and that doesn't make you a bad person, or friend. Anyway, I texted Kuro a few minutes ago, and he's going to meet me at the 7-eleven around the corner."

"Ah-ha, so that's who you were texting."

"You thought I was up to something suspicious, didn't you?" Natsumi tried to look stern, but wound up grinning sheepishly. "Okay, so maybe I thought you'd like to have some privacy with Rikuo-kun." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, and Kagome snorted.

She's ridiculous. And exactly what I needed today.

"I am not taking that bait."

"Oh, well, worth a try! Have fun texting Rikuo-kun and don't worry—he'll be home before you know it." She paused halfway out the door, angling her body to look back at Kagome. "Call or text if you need anything, 'kay? No matter what time it is." With that, she left, shutting the door behind her.

Kagome's confession to Natsumi, as highly fabricated as much of it had been, combined with her strengthened resolve to tell Rikuo about her past went a long way in relieving the guilt and anxiety that had been suffocating her for days, brightening her mood considerably. It wasn't perfect, but then…things didn't always have to be perfect, she reminded herself. Sometimes good enough was okay.

A soft smile curving her lips, she locked her front door and headed back to the sofa, snatching her phone off the floor. She saw that Ryūji had texted her, and not wishing to ruin her good mood by engaging with the ill-tempered onmyoji, she elected to ignore him. I'll text him tomorrow. Or not.

Rikuo, on the other hand, she was more than happy to answer.

Kagome: the matchmaker has left the building. So…how's Tōno?

Ryūji caught himself in time and managed not to slam the hotel room door behind him. The last thing he needed was Yura to have another reason to bitch if he somehow damaged the door and Keikain got billed for it.

Today had been exhausting in a multitude of ways, but it had been exceptionally draining to his patience, not that he had copious amounts to begin with. He'd gone to see some family members of victims that he and Rikuo had flagged as possibly connected to whatever this was, hoping he could glean something of value from an in-person interview.

It had been one waste of time after another, culminating in a grieving father who'd called him an opportunistic charlatan and threatened him with bodily harm.

Ryūji sighed heavily. Damnit, this is why I let Yura handle shit like this. I hate this touchy-feely, delicate emotional bullshit.

In response to the man's accusation, he had attempted to smile, likely managing a grimace at best, and apologized, explaining that he occasionally did consulting work for the Tokyo PD and would not ask for nor accept money from him. Then he'd handed the man his business card, which was summarily turned into confetti and flung in his face.

And this is why I fucking hate people.

He tossed his cloak on a chair and collapsed on the bed. Glancing at his phone, he saw that Kagome had yet to respond to his text, a snarkily phrased inquiry about when they were going to continue their discussion from the coffee shop and when she was going to tell him the truth about her so-called curse.

He knew that realistically he should just let it go, and he felt the tiniest smidgen of guilt about nosing around in her life when he really had no cause to. But there was something so off about the whole damn thing. She was a puzzle. And Ryūji hated when puzzles went unsolved.

He flung an arm over his face, debating whether he should just lay there and try to sleep, or if he should make himself get up and go get some food.

There is that ramen cart a few blocks over in Ukiyoe Town. Guy looks like a bit of a delinquent, but he makes good ramen…

His cell phone ringing drew him out of his thoughts, and he was surprised at the name that popped up. Yanagi Haruka, a local EMT he'd known for years.

He grinned, answering with, "Been a while, Haru-hime." His long-standing nickname for her, a nickname she hated.

"Sure has, shorty. Can't say I missed you."

"Tch. Likewise." Haruka took exquisite pleasure in ribbing him about his height. It was one of the reasons he persisted in calling her princess. "You call for some reason other than to make snide remarks?"

"Yeah, love you too, my chibi onmyoji." He ground his teeth as she snickered. "Anyway. Don't have long to chat, but something came up I thought you'd be interested in." There was a pause, like she was thinking. Or smoking.

"About?"

An audible exhale. Smoking. "Well, you know how the universe likes to hand me the weird ones. Long story short, me an' Kei got a call earlier today, we get there, and the damn kid's claiming he's a vampire."

He jolted. Fucking vampires, again? Probably a coincidence, or even Haruka screwing with him. "Vampires? Please… You sneaking booze on the job now, princess?"

"Shut up, Ryūji. Of all people, am I going to bullshit you, about something like this?"

She had a point. Despite their sniping back and forth, he and Haruka got along quite well. The EMT had low-level psychic abilities, and they'd met years ago when she was still living in Kyoto. She had come to the Keikain for a bit of rudimentary training, but she hadn't had an interest in much beyond the basics, mainly protecting herself. Still, her brusque, devil-may-care attitude had endeared her to Ryūji—not that he'd tell her that.

She's probably already aware, knowing her…

"Oi, earth to Ryūji. I don't have time for your daydreaming. Aw, shit, hang on." He heard muffled voices, unable to decipher what they were saying, but her loud sigh made it clear enough when she came back on the line. "Gotta run. My week is nuts till Sunday, but I can come see you then and give you full details in person. That work for you?"

"Yeah, of course, princess. I live to serve."

Her gravelly laugh met his ears. "Hah! All right, see ya soon, shrimp. Stay safe."

As he hung up, he noticed an email notification. From Masatsugu? He tapped it and skimmed the email quickly.

"Ryūji, per Yura's instructions, I have mailed you the materials you requested. However, as I am well aware that your vindictive streak is far wider than hers, I am attaching all but the materials that were not available digitally—that's in the mail. It would be most appreciated if this went unmentioned to Yura."

Unadulterated satisfaction at being able to indulge his curiosity flowed through him, erasing his earlier trace of guilt from his conscience.

Perhaps today wasn't so bad after all.

Author's Note(s):

1. So, there may be some people who don't like the way Kagome was portrayed in this chapter. But here's the thing—Kagome has issues from what happened to her. To be quite frank, most anime characters (since they all seem to go through some kind of serious trauma, physical or otherwise), especially teens/young adults, would be affected in some way. Realistically, from just canon events, there would have been some impact on Kagome's mental health. In this story's universe, mental health-wise, Kagome is facing at minimum some anxiety and depression on top of years of avoidance and attempting to be numb. Is this the primary focus of this story? No. Is it something I'm just going to ignore and omit? Also no. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Take from this what you will.

2. Just for grins, and because this is my sandbox and I can, I included a nod to a lovable character from another series. Not significant at all, just totally self-indulgent. If you spot it, kudos. You're awesome :-)

3. Completely unrelated to this story, minus the use of a quote from one of her books, I recently read the Witchlands books by Susan Dennard, and y'all, I cannot recommend them enough (start with Truthwitch). I need to get her other series. I'm pretty much a shameless fangirl at this point.

Thank you all for reading and reviewing! I cannot tell you how much it means to me.