"Earth to Kate? What do you think of this one?" Kate jerks herself out of her daze and turns to her sister as she stands in the doorway of the changing room, holding her hands out as though posing for a photoshoot. In her defence, Cal does look distinctly catwalk-ready in the tight black dress, but Kate can't squash down her nagging big-sister vibes.
"It's a bit short, isn't it?" She points out as Cal gives an elaborate twirl, piercings glinting as they catch the light. "You're a bit showy."
"Pot kettle black!" Cal scoffs, pointing an accusing figure at Kate. "I saw what you came home in from your little crew get together the other week!" Kate flushes at the memory, but knows Cal is only teasing. "By the way, any chance I could borrow that top one day?"
"Only if I can borrow this dress." Kate quips back as Cal heads back into the change room grinning. "Where would you even wear that?"
"Um?!" Cal adopts a tone as though she is explaining something very simple to someone very dim, raising her voice to be heard through the change room curtain. "Out when we celebrate my favourite sister's birthday!"
Kate lets out a groan and sinks into the boyfriend chair. "I told you, Callie. I don't want to do anything!"
"Come on, Sis! It's your Dirty Thirty! We need to celebrate!" There's a rustle from behind the curtain, followed by a thump. "I'm okay!" Cal mumbles, before speaking loudly again. "Come on! We'll… we'll go out somewhere together! We can bar hop and tell everyone it's your birthday so you get free shots." She tugs the curtain back, holding the dress in one hand and fixing her hair with the other.
Kate narrows her eyes. "You do that often?"
Cal's eyes light up mischievously and she gives a little shrug. "I'm had about five birthdays this year, Sis." She grins, before moving to the register to pay. Kate busies herself with examining the collection of hair ties, bracelets and keyrings atop the counter, though without Cal to distract her, her mind begins to wander back to Mike again.
"No! No no no!" Cal takes her shopping from the worker, thanks her, and quickly links arms with Kate. "We're not thinking about him! We are out, having an adventure and… and treating ourselves to retail therapy!"
Kate lets out an unintelligible grumble but permits Cal to steer her along. "I'm sorry, Cal. I know I've been…"
"Cocooned in your bed and watching an alarming number of Home and Away episodes on YouTube?" Cal supplies. Her poker face cracks when Kate glares at her and she laughs, sweeping her vibrant blue hair from her eyes. "I'm sorry! But, hey, it's true! You never even watched it when it was on TV."
"Yeah, well, it's harder to daydream if I've got to figure out what is happening." Kate grumbles.
"Kate…" Cal begins, but Kate shakes her head.
"No. No, it's fine, Cal. Really." She gives a smile she's really not feeling, hoping that Cal believes her.
Of course, her sister knows her better than that, but she says nothing more as they continue on their way through the shopping centre. "Yeah, well…" She slows as they reach a book store, following Kate's gaze. "Come on, Kate McGeeker." She sighs in a long-suffering sort of way, tugging on her arm. "Let's find you a nice shiny book."
"You know, I hope you're not absorbing the bad language in this film." Mike muses aloud as he glances between his daughter and the digital form of Elwood Blues on screen.
Rose's finger drums impatiently against the edge of the bowl of popcorn in her lap. "You say that every time we watch Blues Brothers!" She points out, holding the bowl out to her father. "And I've definitely heard you say worse."
"Eh," Mike shrugs lightly. "Got to instil all the parenting lessons before you get too old and cool to watch movies with your old dad every Friday night." She just rolls her eyes, but Mike finds himself gazing at his daughter instead of the screen, trying to figure out exactly when she had gotten so grown up.
Hell, he could remember the day she was born like it was yesterday, the exact expression on Sarah's face as she'd handed Rose to him, and never did he ever imagine that he'd be here, now, raising her alone.
Alone. Because Kate was gone.
"Dad?" He looks up to see Rose peering at him with a mixture of curiosity and pity. "Why don't you call her?"
"Who?" Mike murmurs, turning his gaze back to the TV.
"Meghan Markle. Who else?" Rose pokes a finger into his arm. "Dad, you miss her. You're so distracted you didn't even join in with the '106 miles to Chicago' scene." She jabs a hand in the direction of the TV as though to emphasise the point.
"Rosie, it's over, okay? She couldn't commit, and I ended things."
"But if you just talked to her." Mike says nothing, and Rose tries again. "It's her birthday soon. And you bought her that-"
"Rose, I said no!" More for something to do than any real hunger, he leans over and scoops a handful of popcorn from the bowl. "Please, Rosie. All I want to do is sit and watch a movie with you, okay?"
Rose looks as though she's speaking under protest, but she nods. "Okay." She agrees.
"He's still completely in love with her." Rose declares as she adjusts the giant red netball bib she's wearing over her sports shirt. "But as usual, he doesn't want to talk about her. Or to her, it seems." She flashes an apologetic smile at Bridie. "I did try, Bee."
"Yeah, well, not having much luck with Mum either." Bridie reports back glumly. "Not helping that Cal is firmly with Mum on Team Act-Like-Mike-Never-Existed. She's been trying to distract her, keep her busy. Not exactly helping me out but at least she's not moping around now."
"I don't know whether I should get Maxine to talk to him. Maybe she can help get him to open up."
"Maybe I should get my Mum drunk." Bridie counters glumly. "Seems to be the only time she lets her guard down."
"Girls!" Their PE teacher snaps suddenly, making them both jump. "Can we begin our game? Or should I wait for you to finish your conversation?"
It's just past midnight when Cal sneaks in, accompanied by the tell-tale rustling of plastic, and Kate wonders how many more nights like this it'll take before she's up at the dentist with a mouth full of cavities. It's nice though. Kate knows that Cal just wants to help, in her unique Cal way, plying her with sugary treats, or salted snacks, as though that will fill the gaping hole in her heart. But she cares, and... and it's nice not to be alone. So Kate shifts over and flicks the switch that turns her fairy lights on, bathing them in soft white light.
"Heard you moving around." Cal says by way of greeting, smiling at Kate. "Twizzler?"
Kate takes one of the offered lollies and nods. "Got a bit of sleep, at least." She reports with a smile that doesn't quite meet her eyes. "What's keeping you up?"
"Oh, you know..." Cal gives a nonchalant shrug. "Assignments. Politics. The slow degradation of our planet. The ushe." Cal settles herself upon Kate's bed, resting her head next to Kate's. "So, I have narrowed down your birthday celebrations to two places." Kate lets out a groan but Cal ignores it, ploughing on. "Now, we can say goodbye to your twenties partying hard at The Woolshed, drinks and table dancing and cute guys!" She digs a finger into Kate's ribs and she squirms. "Or we could go to Flamingos Tiki Bar if you want a bit more of a tropical vibe-"
"And what if I want a 'stay at home' vibe?"
"Don't you keep that in your second draw?" Cal quips, eyes twinkling.
"Oh, fuck off." Kate laughs, jabbing a finger into Cal's ribs.
"Oh, come on! You know we've never gone out together? Ever! And I think that this is a gross oversight of my teenage years-"
"We went out for your eighteenth." Kate points out, still not convinced.
"You were deso! It's not the same. Come on! I'll take you out." Cal leans over and takes another Twizzler, looking contemplative. "Or we could just have a nice dinner here. Could order you a sexy fireman stripper or something. Come to think of it, there's probably a few real fireman that would-"
"If I say I'll go out with you, will you shut up?" Kate reaches over and grabs a t-shirt from the floor, stuffing it into Cal's face. "Just stuff that in your mouth and shh." They both dissolve into laughter as Cal and Kate both start poking and prodding each other. Both women are as ticklish as the other and eventually Kate breaks free. "Fine. Truce! Truce!" She squeals, holding both hands in surrender. "Geez, you're annoying."
"Yeah, well..." Cal settles herself once more upon the pillows. "I'm just like my sister." They both sit in companionable silence for a few moments before Cal speaks again. "You still miss him, don't you?"
"I thought we weren't talking about him." Kate fiddles with the hair tie on her wrist, stretching it and letting it go in sequence, relishing in the sharp flick as it connects with her skin. She goes to pull the hair tie out again, but before she can release it, Cal's hand encircles her wrist.
"Kate..."
"I miss him. Okay?" She can't meet Cal's eye. Even talking about this now is damn near killing her. "I miss him. But... he's right. I can't-" Her fingertips flail in thin air for a moment, trying to find the right words. "I can't hurt him again."
"You've spent your whole life putting other people's happiness before your own." Cal murmurs, her fingers squeezing Kate's hand tight. "Mine... and Bee's and even Mum's. But now, this is your chance. Your chance for happiness. And only you can decide."
It takes everything in Kate to meet her sister's gaze. "What if, after everything I've been through, I... I can't have a normal life? What if I'm just broken, Cal?"
"Kate-" Cal begins, but Kate shakes her head.
"No! I've always... always pushed people away from me. Lachlan and the team at the firehouse and... and Mike. Love shouldn't terrify, should it? It... it shouldn't be this hard. So... so there must be something wrong with-"
"No." Cal states simply, dismissing Kate's words as casually as though she'd been prattling about horoscopes.
"But-"
"No, Kate! I... I've never been in love, okay? But... but I think that... that you wouldn't be this scared if you didn't love him. Being this scared to hurt him or... or screw things up... doesn't that mean something?"
Kate fixes her gaze on her lap. "I think he's the only guy I could ever see myself having a future with." The words hurt, because she knows now there will be no future. "But... but I can't."
"Kate, you can win him back. But... it has to be all of you. Mike doesn't just want you when you're happy or... or feeling safe. He wants to be there through the good times and the bad. He wants to help you and support you, and... and he wants you to do the same for him to. All this time you've been looking back for the emergency exit. If you want this to work, he needs to know that you trust him enough to let him guide you through."
Kate frowns. "Through what?"
"Life?" Cal frowns, before dismissing the thought with a wave. "I don't know! I'm not good with metaphors! I mean, I tried to tie it all in to the firefighting side of things with the emergency- you know what? It doesn't matter. You get the point, Kate. And the point is, you're in love with the guy and you want him back."
For a moment, the denial is on the tip of her tongue. The defence, the perfect disclaimer that will protect her heart. But then she realises that this is exactly what Cal and Mike are talking about. This, being vulnerable... she's always seen it as a weakness, as an easy way to get hurt. And, dammit, he might still turn her down. But she knows she won't be able to live with herself if she doesn't try. "Yeah." She agrees. "I do."