Cosima thought she had gotten away with it. Thanks to Helena, Delphine had slept through the night. She woke groggy, but was convinced she had too much wine the previous night.
Delphine was unstoppable at work the next day. She got through all her meetings and paperwork before surprising Cosima with lunch.
"What's this?" Cosima smiled.
"A picnic lunch," Delphine whispered, tucking her long, straightened hair behind her ear. "To thank you."
"I did nothing to deserve it," Cosima whispered.
"I slept through the night. Because of you. You brought me peace."
"Delphine," she sighed, feeling guilty. Delphine felt as if the weight had been lifted, but in reality it was only a side effect of the drugs.
"I love you," Delphine whispered.
Cosima smiled. Delphine wasn't like most girls, she didn't give declarations of love daily. Weeks often went by without her saying it. Cosima had grown to love it. It made every time feel like the first time. It was such a beautiful moment that Cosima felt both proud and ashamed in a way she didn't fully comprehend.
"You don't say it back?" Delphine pushed gently, her lips twitching in amusement. She never doubted Cosima's feelings for her and she knew Cosima never doubted her feelings.
"Do we need to?" Cosima stroked Delphine's cheek.
Delphine bit her lip, thinking clearly. She did want to hear those words. They were like a security blanket, keeping her safe and warm. But it didn't change how she felt and she knew that Cosima felt the same way. "No," she finally decided. "I don't need to hear it."
"Too bad," Cosima teased as she ate the sandwich.
"Cosima, I'm trying to apologize," Delphine whispered. "For trying to tell you to leave me at night."
"You don't owe me an apology, it's in your nature. You always push me away when things get scary."
"I don't want to do that anymore," Delphine admitted.
"So don't," Cosima smiled as she stood up. "Don't let me go without a fight," she whispered as Delphine kissed her.
"You've to go back to work," Delphine teased.
"Tonight then," Cosima purred. Delphine bit her lip, watching the brunette.
Feeling relaxed, Delphine fell asleep immediately, curled in Cosima's arms. It didn't take long for her to start crying out, her arms flailing.
Cosima woke, but didn't wake Delphine. She needed to know what was triggering such violent nightmares.
"Please... don't hurt me..." Delphine whispered.
"Baby," Cosima frowned, about to wake her. Instead, Delphine swung her hand, trying to protect her chest. Her palms covered the small scar she had as she whimpered, her body shaking. "Delphine, wake up!" Cosima snapped, frightened by the intensity of the nightmares.
Delphine shrieked so loudly that Cosima tapped her cheek, waking her.
"Baby, let go of your chest. It was just a dream," Cosima whispered, touching Delphine's hand.
"No, it isn't," she responded, her voice sounding as if it were in a trance. When she lifted her hand, Cosima couldn't peel her eyes from the scar. Delphine was shaking but almost asleep again. Cosima didn't want to mention it yet, but as she ran her hands through Delphine's hair, she began to realize just how little she knew about Delphine's past.