Disclaimer: I don't own jack!
Pairing: Okita/Kagome
Suggested Listening: King By Lauren Aquilina
Of Pride and Honor
Chapter Eleven: What He Sees
The early light of dawn began to filter through the blinds as Kagome slowly roused from her slumber. However it wasn't the shrill cry of her alarm clock or the tendrils of the morning's rays blaring on her eyes that roused her. Rather it was the soft, cat-like paw batting at her nose incessantly. The young woman cracked an eye open as the world came into view.
A heavy weight perched itself upon her covered chest as she heard a long and low meow draw out from above her. It was Buyo. He'd often made the habit of waking her a couple of minutes before her alarms so she'd feed him promptly in the mornings. It would seem that today would be no different.
She slowly sat up and stretched her arms high in the air. Dissatisfied, the calico leapt from her chest and landed in the small space between her and Okita. A light blush went across her nose. The last two nights he slept in her room and showed her more in the ways of physical pleasure than anyone else had before. He never pushed her beyond her comfort zone and they ensured to stay within "reasonable boundaries" to avoid taking their relationship too far, too early. Truthfully Kagome was simply nervous.
She'd never been intimate with another in such a way and hadn't a clue in how to 'repay' him for the favors he gave her the two nights previous. She really wanted to as well, but where to start?
Buyo meowed again as his tail flicked and brushed under Okita's nose. The man's expression soured as the hand he still had wrapped around her waist tightened. He tried to pull her to him but in the process only brought Buyo's fur closer to his own face. An emerald eye cracked open as he shot the cat a mild glare.
"You're a damn mood killer." He directed his comment to the oblivious calico. Buyo flicked his tail once more as his amber eyes grew wide with desperation.
Kagome sighed, "I guess it's feeding time." The ronin reluctantly released her from his grasp as she turned to place her bare feet on her floor's carpet. The teen's blush returned in full force as she spied articles of their clothing scattered haphazardly across her room. Her shirt and his jeans were crumpled in a messy heap on the floor. His shirt has somehow managed to get stuck around one of the blades of her ceiling fan while her panties hung loosely from the handle to her door. Her bra of course miraculously managed to land on her chair to her desk.
She drifted her gaze down to herself. She was as naked as the day she was born. Tiny mouth shaped bruises and bite marks littered her flesh as she tried desperately to think of a way to hide them all from her mother's eyes. Sure make up could work but it'd be some time before these little "love bites", as she now affectionately referred to them, would heal.
She turned her attention to the man responsible for her current dilemma. Okita had rolled onto his side towards her. A lazy smile spread across his lips as eyes gaze roved over her exposed form appreciatively. However unlike her, he still had his boxers on—a safety precaution they'd taken to prevent themselves from pushing too far.
"You sure you don't want to stay in bed with me? You enjoyed yourself last time." His tone was light and playful as a spark entered his eyes.
She shook her head vigorously, "No, you've bednapped me long enough. Besides I have school today and I already promised Mi-chan that I'd meet her. I'm not backing out of that a second time." Kagome turned her head as she cast him a warm smile. "Thank you though. I appreciate what you did."
His smile suddenly turned sly, "You've still got no idea how tempted I was, do you?" The man sat up and brought his arms around her more securely. "Besides I didn't do it just because I was feeling benevolent. I did it because I wanted to. I said it before, haven't I? I'm a very selfish man. Especially when it concerns you."
She felt his mouth upon her shoulder as he kissed a particularly dark mark he'd left on her the previous night. The ronin tilted her head by pressing his own cheek against her neck, "I don't think I can hold myself back for long like this." She felt his fingers curl around her more firmly as he sighed heavily into her skin. The heat of his breath warmed her flesh as a pleasurable chill went through her body. "You best be sure that this is what you want. Otherwise I'll take more than what I did last night." His teeth grazed against her slightly as his tone dipped into a sensual warning, "I'll take it all and I won't give it back. Are you willing to take that chance?"
She wrapped her arms around his as she relaxed in his embrace, "I think we should just take things as they are and not worry just yet. If it happens, it happens." She opened her fingers and splayed her palm against the warm mess of his cheek. Okita leaned into her touch as she felt his expression thaw slightly at the contact. Gently, she turned his face towards hers as she made to look at him. "I trust you. Now and in the future."
He pressed his lips against hers softly in a gentle kiss. There wasn't any hesitation but there was a great deal of affection in the act. This man wouldn't harm her. Not now. Not ever. She could sense it in the way his soul would flare and fluctuate. It was fierce and violent in many ways, but never towards her. She could put her faith in him. She knew that.
"Careful, I might take that as a proposal. Although I'd rather be the one to ask you." He gave a quiet laugh as his arms loosened their grip, "I've got my honor as a man, you know."
"Hush now! Where'd this talk of marriage come from? You certainly move fast don't you?" Kagome slowly stood as she began her journey to recollect all of her undergarments. "I sort of figured you for the type to play the field a bit first rather than jumping to matrimony so quickly."
Okita leaned back comfortably as his eyes followed her every move with a predator's intensity. "What can I say? I know what I like and I prefer not to wait." His tone dipped as he gave her exposed body a sensual once over. "I'm not exactly a patient person."
"In other words, you're trying to bridenap me?" A loose smile played upon her lips as her significant other scratched his chin thoughtfully.
"Close, but is it really bridenapping if you're willing?" Then a wide grin split across his features. "And did you just agree to be my wife? I didn't hear you outright reject it."
She flushed but did as well as she could to maintain her composure, "Like I said it's still too early. We've only been together officially for two days. Even by your standards that should be too quick."
His grin slid away slightly as a calculative look crossed his expression, "True but we've known each other for three months. That's typically long enough."
Kagome shot him a blank stare, "You serious?"
His smirk returned in full force, "Am I? You tell me." He flashed her a wink as he began to stand from his position on the bed.
"I think it's time for me to go to school." She dodged the question. She hadn't the faintest idea if the man was being serious with her in regards to the 'proposal' or if he were just trying to get a rise out of her like he seemed to enjoy doing. She was quickly learning that he could be quite the troll when he wanted to be, and unfortunately that was turning out to be often. The young woman deposited their discarded clothing in her hamper as she pulled her uniform and fresh undergarments from her closet. "I'm going to shower. You want to join me this time?" They only had so much time before she had to leave and, quite frankly, Kagome wasn't quite ready to get dressed yet. She wanted to spend a little bit more time with him before she had to return to the drama of her school life. She heard him step behind her as his hands slid from her shoulders down the length of her arms.
"Need you ask? You already know what I'll say." He nipped at her ear once more as the man guided them towards the bathroom. Her mother would kill her if she found out what'd been happening upstairs in her bedroom these past two nights. The pair made their way into her bathroom. By the time she'd shut the door and started the water, he'd already stripped himself of the last safety measure they'd been using—his boxers. Kagome stepped into the shower first. She flinched slightly at the scalding heat of the water. However after a few seconds her body adjusted and she relaxed somewhat. Okita quickly stepped in after her. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back flush to his chest. A dark blush spread across her cheeks as, for the first time, she felt his fully nude body against her own. The ronin trailed his mouth along the line of her neck and shoulders. She angled her head to the side as she leaned into his embrace. She was embarrassed. She was nervous. But she wasn't frightened. In fact, the young woman sighed as he drew her closer to him, she felt safe. She felt safer with him than she'd ever had before. As Kagome closed her eyes and lost herself to her lover's affections, a single thought crossed her mind. What would she do on the other side? It was no longer a question of if she would return with him, but when would they go?
The hour she'd had to prepare for the day passed more quickly than Kagome wanted it to. She'd managed to escape Okita's vice-like grip at the tail end of their shower so she could have enough time to dry her hair and finish getting ready. Now as she rushed out of the house she realized something important. Today was the first day of the final week of school. By Friday, she'd no longer be a student but a full-fledged member of society. A smile pulled at her lips. She honestly never thought that she'd see the day. She pulled her navy blazer over her blouse and slipped her stockings on. Just one more week and she'd have achieved the one thing she never thought that she could. From chasing demons, to being dragged into the past and then finally playing nurse to a man who'd fallen into her time; there'd always been so many distractions that she wasn't sure if she'd ever make it through to the end of her schooling days. But she persevered and now here she was—past the worst of it all and almost to the finish line.
Okita sat beside her on the bed as he stretched his limbs out comfortably across the mattress. He'd barely dressed in a fresh pair of boxers and jeans but chose to remain shirtless for the time being. As Kagome glanced over at him, she noticed that his hair was still damp from their shower. A smile pulled at her lips. He looked quite relaxed like that. The man grabbed her remote and turned on her television as she finished gathering her items for the day.
"You fixing to head out?" He questioned as his eyes roved over her uniform. It'd be a bit too obvious if he followed her downstairs at this point. Only one of them had run the shower and her mother would be able to piece together what had happened between them if he so much as tried to send her off like he normally would.
Kagome nodded, "Yeah. I'll be spending some time with Katsumi after school today though. So I'll be a bit late coming back." She leaned over him and pressed her lips against his in a soft kiss. His hand cupped her cheek gently as he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. She smiled lightly at him. "I'll see you tonight. Try not to cause too much trouble, okay?"
Okita laughed as he trailed the tips of his fingers over the contours of her face affectionately, "As if. Besides I start work later tonight. I'll probably be getting home around the time that you will."
Her brows rose significantly at that revelation, "Really? Where at? You never told me where you applied to." She was genuinely curious too! What kind of job did he pick up? She couldn't see him working with the masses in any kind of service industry at all. Despite his kindness towards her, there was a definite edge to his personality that could get him into quite a bit of trouble if his patience was pushed. Most notably how he tended to handle Takeshi's bold behavior towards her. A dark blush spread across the bridge of her nose as he flashed her a wicked smirk. She'd seen that look a few times to know what it meant. However they didn't exactly have the time for such activities right now.
The ronin held his index finger to his lips as if to make a shushing motion, "It's a secret. You'll just have to stalk me to find out."
"I think you might want to reconsider what you find to be normal behavior." The teen laughed as she stood and gathered the rest of her belongings for the day. "Stalking someone isn't exactly the best way to show them that you care."
He shrugged nonchalantly, "I figured it was worth the try." He stood up and wrapped his arms around her loosely. "I'll see you tonight then. Try not to get yourself sick in the mean time. You have that nasty habit, you know." His mouth dipped to caress hers in a small, parting kiss. His arms tightened momentarily before the heat of his hands slipped away from her back and released her.
She smiled before making her way towards her door. This would be the first time this weekend that they'd be separated from each other for so long. They'd spent nearly every waking moment with one another after they'd brought their relationship to this intimate level. There was the urge, an all consuming desire, to skip school for the day and finish riding out the last of what her friends had called the 'honeymoon phase' of post physical intimacy bliss. It was like a bond that'd formed between them and held them to one another—a link that kept them from wanting to part from the other. Now as she placed her hand on the handle to her door, she found her feet incapable of moving forward. She didn't want to go yet she had to. She knew she couldn't stay yet she almost felt that she needed to. She wanted to be beside him. Now and in the future.
"Tough on you too, huh?" Okita suddenly whispered beside her ear. He rubbed his palms down the sleeves of her blazer and back up to her shoulders. "But you'll be fine. I'll just give you more to remember tonight when you get back." He pressed his lips against that sensitive spot behind her ear once more. "Go ahead. I'll be waiting for you when you return."
Kagome shook her head, "Not if you're working. Who knows," A warm smile made its way across her features, "I might just pick you up later if you tell me where you'll be at." The beating of her heart calmed somewhat at the reassurance he was giving her. This wasn't the end. This wasn't some grand separation between them. She was just going to school and he would be at work. They would reunite at the end of the day. There wasn't anything to fear in this parting. A sigh left her mouth as her mind calmed. He would be with her and she with him. That was all there was to it.
"Hn, we'll see. You should probably go down though otherwise your mom will find us out." He paused just for a moment as he titled his head as if to listen for any sudden sounds. "If she hasn't already. I swear, that woman is part ninja or something."
The young woman laughed as she opened her door and peered out into the darkened hallway, "She is pretty sneaky. Alright, I'm heading out now. You behave yourself!"
He gave her a playful salute, "Yes ma'am!"
With that she closed the door and left for the day. For just the briefest of moments, she wondered how her life would've played if she hadn't met him. She wondered where she'd have ended up during these three short months if she hadn't opened herself up to him. If she hadn't learned to trust him. If she hadn't promised him a pathway to his home. Somehow, she had a feeling that, that road would not have been anywhere near as happy or satisfying as she now found herself to be. The last thing she thought before she descended the long, winding stairway to the world below was just how grateful she was for meeting that man. In such a short time he'd done so much for her. Now it was her turn.
School had gone as well as she'd expected it to. The day flew by quickly as rumors of her impending elopement to a 'strange guy' had run amok among her peers. By the final period the boys had backed off significantly while Takeshi kept his distance. The male spared her a few glances but would quickly brush past her to go about his business. Kagome shrugged. It really wasn't all that much of a bother to her. Honestly the only thing that was getting on her nerves was just how nosy the girls were being. Who was her fiancé? Why hadn't they ever seen him before the blowout? How did they meet? Did she love him? She froze at that last question. Love. How would she be able to know such an emotion? She cared. That was for certain. She wanted to stay beside him and follow him back to his home. But did that make this love? And what of Okita? What did he feel for her? It'd gone beyond the casual, of that she was certain. But did he love her? Could a man such as him love her?
"Hey!" A familiar voice took her by surprise. Yuka waved her hand in front of her face as a worried expression overtook the other woman's features. "You okay? You've been spacing out pretty bad today."
Kagome sat up straighter as she glanced around the classroom. Nearly everyone was staring at her now, a mixture of expressions ranging from curiosity to shock to even disgust. What'd she miss?
"What?" She oh so elegantly responded.
Her friend sighed heavily, "There you go again. I know you've made a few big plans after graduating but do you think you could focus for just a couple of minutes? We wanted to talk to you about something serious this time."
She blinked and looked around at the faces surrounding her. Yuka, Eri and of course Ayumi were there but so were a few of the other girls from her class. A couple of them she hadn't spoken more than three words to in her entire school career. The teen leaned back in her seat and nodded, "Sorry about that. So," She met Yuka's cobalt gaze curiously, "What'd you want to ask me?"
The group shared a cautious look between each other before nodding affirmatively in unison, "We wanted to know more about Higurashi-san. What he's like. What he does for a living. What he intends to do to support you." Yuka leaned forward as she wagged an index finger at her. "I know you two were quite cute together the other day when we had our study session but don't think we'll go easy on him just because of that." Her brows furrowed as a violent intent rolled off of her tiny frame. "You're our friend and as such it's our job to make sure you don't get saddled up with a some guy that'll force you into a lifestyle you don't want."
Kagome held up her hands defensively, "Whoa! One question at a time! Besides, Souji isn't like that. He's already found a job and is trying his hardest to get off of his feet despite his illness." Her eyes widened as she clamped her mouth shut. She'd said too much. She didn't want to have to explain to anyone else what Okita's disease was or why he was actually staying at their shrine.
"Oh that's right, you said he was with you guys for a 'health stay'. So that part really was true, huh? But," The brunette tapped her chin thoughtfully as she pondered over her next sentence. "Is he really your cousin? I mean I haven't seen your adopted uncle but I've heard he doesn't really look like him either."
The teen sighed as she tried to figure a way out of this mess. She couldn't lie since that'd just make things more complicated. She couldn't tell the truth because it'd probably land her in the psyche ward. So what could she say?
"That, my dear girls, is quite the tale! It's a story of forbidden romance, family feuds and a bond strong enough to conquer the tides of time itself!" Katsumi made her grand entrance as she flounced into their classroom. All eyes turned towards her in shocked silence. It was rare for a second year to visit their senior like this. It was even more surprising that she hadn't announced herself before waltzing into the room. By all accounts, Katsumi was likely stepping on a lot toes barging into this conversation.
"Mi-chan, don't give them the wrong idea." She pinched the bridge of her nose as her shoulders sagged.
Said girl grinned widely at her, "But it's true! They're cousins related only by adoption and marriage! However," The energetic teen wrapped her arms around Kagome's neck as she hugged her sadly, "Her uncle and mother despised one another. They'd had a falling so long ago and forgotten how to forgive one another. Many years passed and during the annual family reunions Souji-san and Gome-chan met many times. They fell in love with one another but couldn't find it in themselves to disobey their parents." The girl threw an arm up in the air enthusiastically as her expression lightened, "But one day they decided to give their love a shot! Now, unable to deny the feelings they have for one another, they've chosen to elope just after graduation and hide away from their parents until things have calmed down. Maybe have a child or five while they're at it."
"Mi-chan!" Kagome reprimanded her. However several of the girls around them melted instantly at the story. Hearts flashed in their eyes as they cupped their hands to their cheeks.
"That's so sweet!" Eri cooed kindly, a light blush on her face.
"Kagome-chan's so lucky! I wish a guy would whisk me away like that!" Ayumi chimed in.
Yuka on the other hand gave her a thoughtful look, "Are you sure about this? Marriage is a big deal. Sure you can divorce if things don't work out but it's a huge pain to go through."
Now everyone was looking at her again. She bit at her lip as she thought about what she wanted to say. Marriage wasn't exactly on the table for her at this point. But it was true that she'll be leaving this era permanently. She wouldn't be returning here. The power of the Shikon would only last for a single jump. Any more than that and it'd shatter completely. Which wouldn't be a bad result in the end, but she'd need its power soon. So she held off on chipping away at the last dying remnants of its existence. The Shikon would eventually be no more. Okita would return home. So now she, Kagome, would decide to follow him and carve out her own future on the other side with him. Those were the only things she wanted. Now and in the future.
"I'm sure. I put a lot of thought into it and I decided for myself." A warm smile spread across her lips as she met Yuka's concerned gaze. "He trusts me and I know that I can trust him. We'll pull through. I know it." She spoke from the depths of her heart. These were her true feelings and she wouldn't feel shame over them. She wouldn't regret them. The only thing was that she just didn't want her time with Okita to simply become mere memories. That would hurt far more than any separation ever could.
The bell to signal the end of the day rang out over them. "Alright girls, you heard the lady! Now if you excuse me, I must kidnap her for a while!" Katsumi winked at the others as she hauled her up gently by her arm. "We've got a lot of things to talk about." With that, she pulled her up and they were both running down the halls; only stopping to gather their shoes from their lockers before rushing out the school once more.
"Mi-chan, slow down!" Kagome panted between breaths however her friend didn't let up. Instead she made the trip down a familiar route towards the café that they both worked at. "I can't keep up with you like this!"
The other girl either pretended that she hadn't heard or completely ignored her. They threaded their way through the crowds until they came to a stop just before a European Bistro nestled across the street from their café. Her friend grinned as she gestured towards the sign.
"I've been dying to check this place out since it opened a month ago! Come on, you promised!" The teen grinned widely as she pulled at her wrist more firmly. "Besides we've got some girl talk to discuss. Can't exactly do that with the crowd, ya know?"
Kagome sighed as she followed her into the small restaurant. It was sparsely populated with a handful of booths but most circular tables that could fit up to four people. Her eyes scanned the crowd as a young woman greeted them at the front and led them to a booth. Her front slid happily into seat she followed.
Once comfortable, Katsumi leaned over the table between them. A wide, happy smile was spread across her lips as she practically bounced in her seat. Kagome settled into the cushioned booth seat right across from her. She set her purse to the inside portion of the seat and began to look over the menu. As much as she loved her friend, the young woman knew that this conversation was likely to be an uncomfortable one.
"So," The other girl began as she locked her fingers together and rested her chin on the back of her hand. "How's it going between you and the mister? He's quite handsome! I must say that I'm a bit envious."
Kagome fought back a sigh. Those rumors of their elopement had spread quite fast. Although Katsumi had promised to keep quiet on the topic, somehow she had a feeling she allowed it to slip in order to keep anyone else from bothering her in these last couple of weeks of school. A light flush crossed her cheeks as she shook her head. Well the elopement wasn't completely true but it also wasn't untrue either. She was going to leave with him to the other side well. She just didn't intend on marrying him at this point.
"Things are pretty good so far." That was true enough. The physical aspect of their progressing relationship aside, Okita had become even more attentive to her needs in the past couple of days that they'd become "official". She honestly hadn't thought it possible but the man always seemed to surprise her. He hadn't left her side and provided her with the warmth and kindness she needed. A soft smile crossed her lips. Even if this was only temporary, she was glad to have met him.
"You love him." It wasn't a question but rather a declaration. Kagome stopped as she pinned the other woman with a shocked stare. Did she? Could she? How was she supposed to know? "It's written all over your face, hun. Every time you talk about him you get this little smile." Katsumi drew her fingers along her mouth and pulled her lips back to imitate the smile in question. "You also let him hold you in ways you've never allowed anyone else to." Her friend's smile softened as she gave a quick laugh. "I have to admit that you two are sickeningly cute together."
The young woman felt her face warm slightly at the comment. "Are you sure?" Her voice grew quiet as the beginnings of self-consciousness hit her. Before the well, she'd honestly had a fairly positive image of herself both physically and emotionally. However after a full year of subjecting herself to constant ridicule and vicious comparisons, she began to feel inadequate. There was always a voice in the back of her head whispering those lies. The lies that spoke of her failures. The lies that spoke of her inability to protect herself. The lies that spoke of her lack of beauty. She was bulky. She wasn't thin. She was built more like a warrior than a woman. It was always there.
"Hun, if there's one thing I know then it's when two people are so into each other that they spew rainbows. And Gome-chan, you and him both have hit the tie-dye of rainbows." Katsumi gave a laugh as she opened up her menu and began to pilfer through the options. "So," her voice drawled as she peeked above the menu, "How was he? Was he good? Did he make you question heaven and earth itself?" A smirk spread across the other teen's features as she wiggles her brows at her suggestively.
Kagome snapped to attention as her eyes widened drastically. "What?" She oh so intelligently responded. Why did she always blank out in situations like this?
Katsumi laughed again, "I can still see it, you know." She pointed a slender index finger at the crux of her neck. "He left a pretty dark hicky on you, didn't he?"
She immediately brought her hand up and slapped it against the base of her neck; making a futile attempt at covering the mark she now knew couldn't be hidden by make up alone. A dark blush warmed her cheeks, "Souji definitely knows what he's doing. Me on the other hand..." Kagome fidgeted with the sleeve of her shirt and she looked down to her lap. That's right. She was inexperienced at best. She had no clue what she was doing or how to reciprocate. She hardly thought that she had any appeal in the first place. Thus far he'd been the one to lead all of their 'experiences' and she was beginning to feel as if she were being selfish.
A finger flicked across her forehead, "There you go with that look again. You should stop making that face so much otherwise you'll age fifty years." Kagome lifted her hand and gently massaged the part she'd struck affectionately. "Anyways, you're just not used to that kind of thing right?"
With red cheeks and a rising heat in her body at the memories of the morning's shower, she nodded fervently. How was she supposed to top that?
"Well you're in luck. I just so happen to know a few things that drives all the guys mad." Katsumi winked at her playfully. "Now listen to your senpai and learn the ways of the seductress." Of course she didn't think that this was a particularly appropriate place for the topic and only had that idea further cemented in her mind as their waiter finally approached.
"What can I get you ladies to drink?" A familiar voice intoned from beside them. Azure eyes widened as her head snapped up to look up at the man looming over them. A bright, mischievous grin beamed down at her as she took in her significant other's new look. Clad in black slacks and matching button down, Okita held out his pen as he shot them a wry smirk.
"Oh? I thought you said you weren't going to stalk me today. Did you change your mind?" The man closed his eyes as he nodded to himself a couple of times, "I don't mind this side of you though. It's rather cute."
"Oooh, why didn't you tell me he was working here Gome-chan!" Katsumi seemed flustered as she stared owlishly between him and herself. She could only open her mouth before closing it again. What could she say? She hadn't known either! Wait, had he picked this place on purpose? The teen craned her neck to glance out of the main window that stretched across the front of the bistro. From this angle he had a perfect view of the maid café. She could practically see all the way to the back of her own shop. Azure eyes widened. He did! He did this on purpose!
"Souji…" Her voice came out as a warning as he gave a small laugh.
"Ah ah." He shook his pen at her playfully. "I'm working right now. We'll save the rough games for tonight when everyone else is in bed." His gaze turned heated as she watched him spy upon the same part of her neck Katsumi had. Damn it, that thing really was visible. Okita certainly looked proud of himself for it too. Kagome pressed her lips into a thin line. Well at least she'd gotten some measure of revenge earlier. The only problem was that the marks she'd left were hidden away. She'd at least been kind enough to make sure they weren't going to be on full display for everyone to see. "So what's it going to be? I could pull a suggestion for you but you might not like it."
Now she knew he was teasing her. That little jerk!
"The tea please." The young woman turned her attention to her friend. "What about you?"
"I'll have the same." Katsumi nodded vigorously as she glanced back and forth between them with wide eyes.
Okita quickly wrote down their order before meandering towards the back, "I'll have it out for you two soon. Just don't miss me in the mean time."
Suddenly she had the urge to bury her face into her hands. What had she gotten herself into? This man was too much.
"Now I get it. All the more reason for me to tell you this next part." Her onyx eyes darted around the bistro to check for any eavesdroppers. Once satisfied she nodded to herself and dropped her voice. "First thing's first. What base have you gotten to yet? First? Second? Third? Or the home run?"
Her heart leapt into her throat as she tried to come up with an answer. Technically they'd already reached third and definitely pushed the line of the home run during their shower this morning. So would that technically be a fourth base? Or was that outfield? She didn't know. "Third… I think." Her tone faded out as she shifted uncomfortably. Her own eyes looked around nervously. Thus far they were the only ones seated in this section. That was good at the very least.
"That's pretty fast but given the way he looks at you all the time I can't say I'm surprised." The other girl tapped her finger on her lips as she mulled over her next question carefully. "Has it been reciprocal or has he been the only one leading?"
Kagome shook her head, "I don't really know what to do so he's been taking charge of that kind of thing." Did her voice just squeak? Judging by the way Okita was glancing in their direction from behind the bar, she was beginning to believe so. She turned her eyes down to her hands as she wrung them together. This was so embarrassing.
"Ah, no good. You need to lead every once in a while or it'll go stale." Her brows furrowed as she leaned over the table to whisper at her seriously. "There's a couple of different ways to do this but nearly all enjoy the end result of this one thing."
The young woman's own brows shot up, "What thing? What do I do?"
A wide, victorious smirk spread across her lips, "Go third on him. You'll have to work your courage up and get used to it. However I guarantee that not only will he love it but it might just even out the tables between the two of you."
They spent the course of their meal discussing ways to overcome her nervousness and the exact details of what 'going third' on him meant. Kagome had only a vague idea but nothing concrete to back up her thoughts. She didn't know if he'd even like such a thing. However according to Katsumi it was something that most guys would love have done to them.
"Are you sure it'd work like that though? I mean, I'm not exactly good at this kind of thing." She fidgeted again as her lack of experience began to show. "I'm not really the type guys usually go for anyways." Her gaze darkened as she looked down at herself. It was true enough as well. Outside of Takeshi and Okita, very few men had ever shown an interest in her. Inuyasha only wanted to own her. He never saw her anything other than a possession. Takeshi, while overbearing, at least respected her decisions as a human being rather than an object to be owned. Okita on the other hand. He was a different kind of man altogether. He was warm, kind and gentle. He cared about her in ways no one else had. She didn't want to chase him off by doing something stupid.
Katsumi's lips thinned as she leaned her chin on the back of her hand, "You say that kind of thing a lot don't you?"
"Indeed she does," Okita interrupted as he passed them the bill. "This one's on me." It was already paid and signed for however on the back of the receipt a simple note had been written. The ronin shot her a sly glance before he gathered up their dishes and retreated to the kitchen with them. The young woman plucked the paper out from the holder and read over it.
Did you know that your make up doesn't cover that hicky? I would say that I was sorry but I'm not. So to make it up to you I went ahead and covered the cost of your meal. You've taken care of my sick ass for this long. Now it's my turn. Just don't regret your decision to leave with me later because I won't give you back.
She felt her face heat slightly at his words. It was a written warning, quite literally, about his own intentions towards her. Just as before he was giving her an out. He was providing her with an opportunity to back away from this choice before it became permanent. A smile touched her lips. He was always so worried about her. Perhaps it was that aspect of his personality that drew her to him in the first place. She tucked the note into her purse as she began to gather her belongings.
"I should probably say bye to him before we leave. Did you want to go somewhere else afterwards though?" Kagome inquired as she slipped the handle of her bag over her shoulder and slipped out of the booth. As if on cue Okita returned and followed after them, ensuring to open the entrance door as they made their exit.
"You ladies have a nice night." He gave her a purposeful glance at the last word. She felt her cheeks heat even more at the not so subtle promise. Just what was that man planning now?
"Thanks, I'll see you back at the house tonight." Her brows suddenly shot up as she glanced at the clock. "Actually, what time do you get off? I could stop by afterwards and we could walk back together."
His eyes softened at her momentarily, "I've got two hours left. So there's still a bit of time. You go ahead and enjoy yourself. Just message me if you're going to be late." He'd actually gotten quite good at texting lately. She hadn't thought that he'd take to his phone so well but the ronin was virtually a modern man by now with the way he navigated her era and worked their devices. Thankfully he wasn't a spam texter or did any sort of annoying things such as forwarding spam mail. The only thing he seemed to do was use his map application to find specific locations that he needed—and messaged her whenever he couldn't find what he was looking for. She gave a small laugh under her breath. He really was fitting right in, wasn't he?
"Something funny?" The man teased, stepping outside with them for just a moment.
"No, nothing at all. We'll be heading off then." The teen turned as her friend grasped onto her wrist tightly and took off at the speed of light. If Okita had the thought to protest then Katsumi had whisked her away faster than he could speak. She pulled her across the road, through the crowded streets and didn't stop until they passed the threshold of a two-story shopping center.
"Where are we going?" Kagome inquired as she glanced around at the ornately decorated building. The Yamada family, of which Takeshi and Katsumi were the sole heirs to, was incredibly rich. Only a handful of her peers were aware of the amount of wealth their parents had amassed in their years of well-planned investments.
"You'll see! Now come on!" She pulled her along even faster now.
It came as little surprise to Kagome that her friend frequently shopped in this plaza. Brand name shops with clothes more expensive than the entire collection of outfits she'd gathered in her closet were lined up one right after the other in an organized display of glass windows. Kagome shifted uncomfortably as Katsumi tugged her into a well-known designer dress boutique. Gowns that glittered and awed were placed near the front. Middle aged women with strong smelling perfume and large diamonds on their fingers pilfered through the front rows. Towards the back younger women with small children in strollers searched the racks for elegant and simple day dresses. Katsumi pulled her towards the back.
"You're a super cute girl, Gome-chan. So we need to dress you like one too!" She began to pull dresses down and hold them up to her front. "Part of your problem is that you don't see how adorable you really are. Why do you think my brother and your fiancé fell so hard?" She already placed a halter top back on the rack before switching to a spaghetti strap. "You're stubborn as it is, but you're also one of the sweetest people I've met. Guys adore that kind of thing. Makes them want to protect you. Why do you think the girls were so worried earlier? They just want to make sure their adorable, sweet natured friend is going to be happy."
Kagome felt her face heat at the rapid-fire compliments. She'd grown so used to the insults and comparisons that she'd forgotten what it was like to be treated kindly by others. Okita had given her his warmth and now Katsumi was giving her, her unique encouragement. These people cared about her in ways she'd never thought anyone would. That was more than she could've asked for.
"Aha! This would be perfect!" Katsumi brought up a pale yellow colored dress with a pair of thick straps that crossed in the front before crisscrossing over the shoulder blades in the back. A barely visible zipper ran from the top to the small of her back. The fabric itself fell just above her knees, giving enough space for her to move as she needed to while still providing a view of her calves. "Go try it on! I'll check it out once you're settled."
So the young woman made her way into one of the available dressing rooms. She closed and locked the door and set to work on disrobing her day clothes. These kinds of outfits were far outside of her finances. It was the kind of dress that she could only dream of owning but never actually have. She wouldn't feel comfortable letting Katsumi buy it for her but that didn't mean that she wouldn't try it on to appease her friend.
She slipped into the dress as the softness of the fabric caressed her skin. It fit tightly but not uncomfortably so. The outfit had white lace overlay that created a gentle look. It was feminine and hugged every curve yet, azure eyes darkened as she turned in the mirror, did it really suit her? She wasn't soft or feminine. She had muscle tone and bulk, not gentleness or the typical idea of curves. She was stocky, not slender. So would a dress like this even suit her?
"Gome-chan, everything alright in there? Did you need any help?" Katsumi called from the other side of the door.
Kagome took a moment to look at herself once more. It didn't feel like her. It was much too beautiful. She on the other hand was not.
"Sorry, just having trouble with the zipper." The teen finally responded as tears burned at her eyes.
Weak
Useless
Disgusting
Those words whispered viciously in her ear. The were both the result of the sharp echoes of her memories and the manifestation of her own self doubt. The insults grew ever louder as she continued to stare at the woman in the mirror. In her mind's eye it shifted and warped, showing a younger version of herself cowering in the corner with cuts and bruises over her arms and legs. She'd been so frail then. She'd been so helpless. Now, she was just damaged. Strong and stubborn but still shattered all the same.
"Unlock the door for me, I'll help you out." Katsumi's voice was calm, devoid of her usual abundance of energy.
Kagome held out her hand and did as requested. She'd trusted Okita with her future, perhaps it was time to trust Katsumi with her doubts?
The other girl swiftly entered the stall with her and took in her appearance. A warm smile lit up her face as she grasped the zipper between her fingers and quickly pulled it up.
"It's perfect for you."
Kagome shook her head and she glanced down at her feet, "No, it's not. I'm..." her voice closed off as she swallowed her tears. She was ugly. She was selfish. She was the lowest of the low. She couldn't match something like this. It was too good for her.
Katsumi placed both of her hands on her shoulders as she forced her to look in the mirror, "Gome-chan, I don't know what it is you see when you look at yourself but I know what Takeshi and even Souji-san sees. Whatever imperfections you have, they're honestly what make you even more beautiful as a person." She spun her around and smiled as the fabric of the dress fluttered elegant around her legs.
"You remember how you first met Takeshi right?" The other girl gave a little laugh as she turned her back towards the mirror.
Kagome nodded. She'd been friends with Katsumi before joining the Kyudo club. She'd also been the one to suggest picking up her part time job at the maid cafe since she worked there as well. It was because of Katsumi's encouragements that she even did either of those. The first day she'd ever worked at the café, Takeshi had dropped by to pick his sister up. He'd been so shy at that time. He hardly had the courage to speak to her. But once she joined the kyudo club he managed to find his courage to ask her out. She'd only wished he'd turned out to be a calmer person. He wasn't bad persay, but he definitely lacked the ability to relate to her on the emotional level that she needed. It were as if he'd only recently climbed over a steep wall and hadn't the skill set necessary to properly communicate his needs and emotions.
"The reason he started crushing on you wasn't just because you were in a cute maid uniform." Katsumi nodded her head up and down vigorously as if she were agreeing with herself. "He wouldn't stop talking about you for the first couple of weeks after you joined the club because he thought you were a very kind and loving person. And Gome-chan, I don't think you give yourself enough credit here."
Katsumi wrapped her arms around her comfortingly as she forced her to look at herself once more, "Your kind of beauty isn't just skin deep. Everyone around you can sense it. You've got this aura going on that screams about how much you care for others. It shows in the way you train your peers, help your friends study and you've even given us all kinds of super amazing and grown up advice when we were acting stupid."
Kagome shook her head, "But I'm not..."
"Hush now, hun." She pressed a finger to the young woman's lips as a smile splayed across her own. "Take a look for yourself. The mirror inside your heart is warped. It's showing you these things to make you doubt yourself. But just for now, simply look at yourself. Don't think, just look."
So she did. She stared at the woman on the other side of the looking glass. She didn't think. She didn't judge. She just looked.
"That's the woman both Takeshi and Souji-san see every day. They don't view you as warped or ugly. They don't see those tiny imperfections. All they see is what you're looking at now. A kind, beautiful woman who cares so deeply about others until it hurts herself. Don't be afraid of yourself, Gome-chan. Embrace this and accept it. You are amazing. You just don't know it yet."
The image of herself curled fearfully in the corner returned a hundred fold. Vague memories of someone shouting obscenities came to the forefront of her mind. If she was so amazing as a person they why had he acted as if she were merely a tool? Why had he treated her as if she were a burden? How could she be such a great person when she'd so obviously been useless? The flashes of pain and flesh tearing came back to her. Her knees collapsed under her as she tried to holdback the floodgate. The tears that burned at her eyes began to fall. She covered her palms over her face and hid herself from the sight she knew would be staring back at her.
"How? How can I accept that?" Her shoulders began to shake as she tried to look at herself once more. "I'm not good. I'm not beautiful. I'm just…" She gestured towards herself sadly. "… this." More pain and shouting resonated loudly in her mind. Why won't it just stop?
"And that's all you need to be." Katsumi's arms were warm as she held her to her chest in a protective cocoon. The screaming began to quiet as the sound of her friend's heartbeat overtook one of her ears. "I heard a while back from Yuka-san that you were in a pretty bad spot back in junior high. She said that ever since then you hadn't really been the same." She combed her fingers through her hair in a show of near maternal affection. "Yuka-san said that because of some guy you lost a lot of your confidence. If that's the case then I don't think you should push yourself into marriage before you're ready."
Kagome's eyes shot open as she stiffened in the girl's arms. She'd nearly forgotten about that entirely. However was that what Okita would ask of her once they returned to his era? Would he intend on taking her as his wife if she were to pursue a life beside him? He'd made a few jokes of course but she honestly hadn't been sure if he'd been serious. Were they more than just jokes though? She didn't know these answers. Nor did she know how she felt about the subject at hand.
"It's a big step to take. You ought to take a bit of time to hash out how you really feel about him. Make sure that the reason you marry him is because you love him, not because you feel like you can't have anything better." Her onyx eyes lit up as she smiled at her. "You're a sweet person. You don't have to beat down on yourself so much. Have a little faith in the person that you are. Not the one you were told you had to be."
Kagome nodded once, "We were going to wait until June after his health regiment is finished anyways." She bit her bottom lip as she thought of a good way to explain the next part. "He's decided to leave Japan after that. I know kaa-chan would rather that I stay and go to college here but," Her eyes drifted downwards to her feet. "I want to go with him. I don't know much about this marriage stuff or why he decided to tell you that but I know one thing. When he leaves, I want to be beside him. That's all I ever wanted."
"Because you love him." It wasn't a question or a playful tease as with earlier. Rather it was a statement of a fact that she wasn't even sure of herself.
"How do I know? I've never had anything positive to go by." It was true as well. Every 'relationship' she'd been involved in had some edge of negativity or unhealthy attachment to it. Okita was the only one who seemed to have given her the space she needed while simultaneously providing her with the comfort he somehow knew she desired. He wasn't perfect. He wasn't some unattainable ideal of perfection in a man. He had his flaws. He had his past. His hands were stained scarlet with the blood of his enemies. But he wasn't evil. He also wasn't overbearing. He cared about her and she cared for him. Right now, that was all that mattered.
Kagome's expression softened as she came to the realization that Katsumi already had. She loved that man. It wasn't the childish infatuation she initially had with Inuyasha. It wasn't the cautious optimism of her short-lived run with Takeshi. Instead it was the overwhelming need to be beside and support Okita in his dreams. She wanted to stand beside him. She wanted to help him in anyway she could. She also wanted to follow him back to his world and see his story through to its proper end. To be willing to sacrifice this time, this place and her relationships with these people—would it be worth it? The ronin was right to be cautious. This choice would be a permanent one regardless of which decision she chose to follow through with in the end.
"I think you already know that answer. Now come on. On your feet!" Katsumi gently pulled her up as she spun her around. "We're getting you that dress along with some new shoes. You need a date night with your man and this will be the perfect thing to spice it up." Her hands pushed on her shoulder blades lightly as they exited the changing room.
"But you can't! It's too expensive!" Kagome attempted to protest but she would hear none of it.
"Consider it my parting gift to you. Whether you choose to marry Souji-san or not will be your decision. However if you're going to leave with him then I can't just send you off in good conscious without getting a going away present." She pushed her towards the counter as they made their way to pay for the overly priced outfit. "Besides, just think of it as me wanting to spoil you a bit for putting up with me for so long. So no need to fret!"
The girls moved from one shop to the next, picking out different parts of the outfit and having Kagome dress into them immediately once they were done. By the time Katsumi finished pulling her around, she'd found herself with a new dress, shoes, necklace and other arrangement of jewelry she never would've been able to obtain on her own.
"Thank you Mi-chan, you really didn't have to do this." She meant it too. Katsumi had little to no reason to do as much as she had for her. She'd given her the encouragement she needed to realize her own feelings towards herself and Okita. She'd given her reassurance that she wasn't some sort of walking monstrosity that only caused pain and suffering for others. She'd also given her something that she knew she'd never have otherwise—peace of mind.
"Oh but I did! You're too cute not to spoil dear Gome-chan!" She glanced down at her watch as the bell overhead tolled loudly. "Yeesh, pushing a bit close. Think you can make it back to the restaurant on your own? I promised Takeshi that I'd meet him in about, oh," She looked at her watch once more, "ten minutes. At the train station across town." The other girl's shoulders drooped slightly as she sighed heavily through her teeth. "Oh well, I guess I can make him wait a few minutes. You on the other hand should get a move on. Your man's waiting for you." With that Katsumi flashed her a wink before she took off at the speed of light down the street. "Remember, don't force yourself before your ready! You can get married after you're comfortable!"
Kagome laughed as her friend nearly ran into a light pole before she straightened herself. The waved at each other as they parted ways. Marriage, huh? It was still too early to be thinking about that kind of thing but at least now she knew for certain what it was she felt. A warmth spread across her chest as a smile painted itself over her lips. To see the things he did. To view herself through his eyes, she first had to realize the way she felt for him. What she saw in him wasn't a monster or a killer. Rather she saw that he was a kind and gentle man. She loved how caring and affectionate he was towards her. She loved how much he seemed to worry for her. She also loved how much he was beginning to care about her family as well. Okita was a good man with good intentions. She trusted him. Now, if only she could try to see what he sees in herself. Maybe that would give her the confidence boost she needed to start over once more.
The restaurant came into view as she took a seat on the outside patio. The lights inside flicked off as the group of employees made their way outside. Okita was at the front as expected. His coworkers waved sociably at him as they began to make their way home. Kagome stood. A warm smile spread across her lips as she met his gaze. Shock flickered across his features followed by warmth then desire. His emerald eyes trailed along the lines of her curves, down her legs before rising to meet her face once more. A smile lit up his features as well. It wasn't the sharp or sly grin she'd been expecting but something much softer. It was like the look of person who'd spied the first evidence of something mythical. Could this be what Katsumi meant? To see what he sees. To view herself in a mirror not warped by the horrors of her past.
"Ready to go home?" She asked softly, slipping her fingers through the spaces of his own.
"More like are you ready for bed?" The ronin joked as he tugged her closer to him. He bent his head down next to her ear and whispered heatedly, "Did you dress up just for me?"
Kagome nodded once, "And if I did? What would you do then?" Mostly she wanted to see where he'd take this. What would he say?
The familiar lopsided grin returned to his expression, "Careful, you might give me the wrong idea." She noted the way his eyes became half-lidded and his tone dipped slightly into something husky. "I'm giving you a fair warning now. Push too far and I might not give you back." He took the lobe of her ear between his teeth in a gentle bite. Despite the sexual overtones of his words, there was an anxiety riding the undercurrent of his emotions. In some ways, he was afraid. The constant warnings and fears. The insistence that she take her time to make her choice. He was afraid she'd resent him. That she'd blame him if she made the wrong choice. Just as Katsumi had given her peace of mind earlier, she now wanted to do the same for him. She wanted to clear the doubts she knew that had to have been plaguing him for some time.
She laughed lightly, "I'm okay with that. I already decided to leave with you, didn't I?" Kagome raised the palm of her hand and gently placed it over the high bone of his cheek. "I want to stay with you. Do you know why?" It might be a bit early to say this now but she wanted him to know the truth. She didn't want him guessing himself or beating himself up anymore. Just as she required reassurance earlier, Kagome knew that Okita needed her encouragement now. It'd be the only way he'd fully come to terms with her choice and not blame himself for it.
He paused and held his larger hand over her own. His other arm locked around her waist and pulled her to him tightly, "Tell me." The man's voice low and frayed. His body was pulled taut, as if sensing the words she was about to say.
"Because I love you."
Okita's eyes were wide for a moment. He stilled beneath her touch as something flashed across his expression. She couldn't quite tell what it was but she knew that something changed in him at that moment. The last barrier between them fell as he pressed his mouth against hers in a passionate kiss. The young woman leaned into his warmth as she gave herself over to his affections. This wasn't frenzied like this morning. It wasn't shy like their first. This time, their kiss was both deep and full of the emotions they'd been too worried about speaking aloud before now. It was filled with their growing passion for one another and became the physical manifestation of their now permanent bond. Wherever he went in the future, she'd stand beside him. She'd support him and find the piece of herself she'd been missing this whole time. That was what she wanted more than anything. He pushed his tongue past the seam of her lips as his hand cradled the back of her head gently. She loved this man and now, she wanted him to know it. Not just because she wanted him to reciprocate her feelings but because it'd be what would free him from his sense of guilt.
Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck as she sighed against his lips. Starting tomorrow, she'd walk forward. She'd embrace herself as she was and do what she could to move beyond her past. Okita had given her what she needed to accept her history. Katsumi had given her what she required to accept herself. Now all she needed to do was to embrace her future with this man—wherever it may lead them. They parted only for a second to catch their breath. He didn't speak but the words he wanted to say reflected in his gaze as well. She was no longer alone. She touched her mouth to his once more. Tomorrow, she would see through his eyes.
A/n: I actually hadn't intended on Kagome confessing this chapter. However with the way things were progressing I thought that it'd actually fit pretty well here. Things are shifting a bit from my original plot but I don't think that's so much of a bad thing. In this case we're currently slotted for the return to occur around chapter fifteen. Would you guys believe me if I stated that the original draft of this story this first arc would've only lasted for about five chapters? XD Yeaahh, there was so much to develop though that it kind of just got bigger and bigger. ;P But hey, at least it hasn't hit twenty chapters… yet. Anyways what do you guys think about it this time? We've gotten a bit more about Kagome's perspective and her feelings on the whole situation. Starting with chapter twelve we'll be returning to Okita's POV and how he'll respond to her confession as well. So you guys have that to look forward to. ;P Anyways thanks so much, you are all so freaking awesome! I apologize for not responding to you as much as I normally would have but things have gotten a bit hectic with work over here so I'm sort of just floating by and trying to keep up with the updating schedule. As always, thank so much for the amazing support! Free internet cookies and brownies to the lot of ya. ;P