AN: Hi guys, sorry about the mini hiatus as I didn't mean to be absent this long but things sort of piled up on me and posting had to be pushed on the backburner. Hope everyone has a happy Friday!
He had an awful night last night. After what happened with Joss he had gone home and took a lengthy shower, but instead of taking matters into his own hands, literally, he hadn't gotten himself off. He took a cold shower and let his erection wilt on its own. But it didn't do anything to stop the tension churning inside him. So as the day turned to evening it seemed to get worse as images of Joss plagued him. He tried chasing them away with alcohol but when that didn't work he turned the television on until finally he went to bed where he tossed and turned all night. Now it was morning and he was no closer to knowing what to do. Zoe offered information on Root but nothing that he could use to blackmail her into dropping the case Joss hired her on. He couldn't fault Zoe; sometimes people didn't have skeletons but then he might need Harold's help in finding out more about the elusive Root. But by then it might be too late.
John just finished shaving his face when he heard his front door being opened. He set his razor down as he stepped near the closed door of his bathroom and listened to the footsteps. They were light which meant possibly female. So it wasn't Mark. Perhaps it was that Root woman. Knowing how thorough that woman was surely she would come seek answers about Snow's query. Or it could be a common thief breaking and entering even in a more upscale apartment complex. John immediately swung the door open and moved with a speed surely to surprise his intruder.
He had already had the intruder pinned against the wall when he realized it was Joss. He kept her hands pinned to the wall and met her startled gaze. John let her go and she let her gaze wander down his body.
"Joss, what are you doing here?" he asked.
Joss cleared her throat. He wanted her to talk while he stood in nothing but a towel slung low on his hips. His chest was muscular as it was masculine with just the right amount of hair. The scars were numerous but then she figured them to be. And they didn't detract from his sexiness but rather added to it.
She looked up and forced herself to speak; "I'm here because I want to know what the hell you thought you were doing in asking Zoe to get information on Root!"
He frowned. "Does everyone side with you?" he wondered aloud. "You first beguiled Harold and Grace but now my informant too." John disappeared back into his bathroom shutting the door refusing to include himself on the list.
Joss released the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. Talk about beguiling, he literally stole her breath away, and if he hadn't gone in the bathroom when he had she wasn't going to be held accountable for her actions especially with what happened yesterday in her car. It did nothing to relief the constant tension between them. It simmered under the surface with the real threat of exploding and consuming them both when they least expected it too.
John exited his bathroom exchanging his towel for skimpy boxer-briefs. Really, his underwear left little to the imagination and she sighed in appreciation. Size didn't matter it was what you did with it but then John didn't really have to worry about it. John quite literally hit the genetic lottery in having massive sex appeal, eyes that you could get lost in, a nice body, and above average…equipment. And above all else he was a good man who was protective, sweet, and had a wry sense of amusement. Her eyes tracked him as he walked by her to head for the dresser nearby. John exuded a masculine confidence, he wasn't shy in the least being nearly naked in front of her which was incredibly sexy. But then when you looked like that you didn't need to be shy.
"mmm…" she sounded as she eyed his amazing ass.
"What?" he asked as he looked at her pulling on khaki shorts and a navy blue t-shirt covering his spectacular body.
"Nothing, just some men have it all." she said and the comment hung heavy in the room. She noted that he had just shaved by the tiny nick on his chin which she suspected was for her benefit.
His gaze slid over her which seemed to caress her as it did. "So do certain women." he said in agreement. Joss flushed under his compliment. "Tell me Joss; did Zoe lie to me about not having information on Root or is she being truthful?"
"Zoe came by last evening to tell me that you asked her to dig up dirt on Root to convince her to drop my case," Joss answered truthfully, choosing to ignore his question so she wouldn't have to lie.
"And why did she do that?" he wondered.
"Because she realizes that I'm looking out for you and she cares about you too," Joss replied smoothly.
John shook his head. "Zoe doesn't do anything unless it's in her best interests. Meeting you had nothing to do with caring about me and everything to do with you. Now you're in her debt since she came to you and told you about my desire to end your investigation into Snow. Having a cop she can trust would prove useful to a fixer." he said.
Uh-huh, and pigs could fly but she kept silent. Joss could sniff out a lie and Zoe sounded sincere when she said she cared about John. "Perhaps I would have believed that had she not warned off of hurting you." she murmured. "I want to ask you to not try to run Root off. Let me see if she can find out anything on Snow. Shaw promised me that Root can do this without being found out. I wouldn't risk someone's life, you know that."
John didn't see that he had a choice, at least, for now being that everyone was siding with Joss. "Alright, I won't try to run her off the case," he agreed reluctantly. Joss smiled warmly. "But I still want to know more about this elusive woman. I don't trust that she's as shadowy as I am."
"Quite frankly, so do I, my friend is kind of hung up on her," Joss admitted dryly.
He nodded then motioned at his kitchen. "I could make you some coffee before you go to work." he murmured eyeing her pantsuit that was form fitting.
She shook her head. "Thanks but I already had a cup or two. Couldn't sleep much last night, kept thinking about you." she said with her innate honesty that was so refreshing. "Plus when I did dose off Taylor chose that moment to wake up a little upset with a stinky diaper."
"How is he?" John asked quickly, greedy to know more about her son.
"He's good, getting big. I want you to see him," she ordered softly.
John looked away. "I should stay away."
"Okay, I'll bring him here. I've been vigilant about making sure I'm not followed." she reassured, willing to go drive in circles for hours if he agreed to let her bring Taylor by.
"No, it's too risky."
Joss swallowed her disappointment. But she was afraid if she just brought Taylor by then John would break his word and leave this apartment out of misguided desire to protect, and then she wouldn't know where he was. For now, she'd go along with him. She stepped towards him and pressed her lips to his cheek and felt him stiffen instantly. She pulled back and saw his expression was unreadable as he stared down at her.
"See you later, John," she whispered.
The air between them thickened as the insane attraction crackled and sizzled. After several unbearable moments she finally mustered up enough willpower to draw away from him and the incredible pull that wanted to snap them together. She let out a shallow breath as the feeling between them was potent and heady. With one last look she waved at him and left half-hoping he'd stop her.
The pressure beat at him all day and evening; really ever since he met Joss in the subway, pregnant, and on the run. He didn't want this; fought against it tirelessly but to no avail. He wanted Joss Carter. Getting her off in the car had only stroked the fire, not doused it. John rubbed the back of his neck as he paced his place restlessly.
"I wanted Jessica and look how that turned out," he spoke desperately to himself. Maybe speaking it aloud would bring it all back into focus to remind him of that love came with pain and loss. Staying away would protect them both from that. Joss suffered enough pain and loss and, quite frankly, so had he.
But even while trying to remind himself of the painful losses that he never quite healed from John looked around his apartment and overwhelming silence filled it. Now he felt like he was climbing the walls and needed escape. He stormed for the door grabbing his keys, slipping his feet in flip-flops he bought on a whim just to complete his ensemble so if anyone searching for him wouldn't ever expect him to wear, and exited. He needed to take a walk and get some air. And maybe even get a fresh perspective. As he exited the apartment building now that the sun was down it was actually nice out. He'd be careful to keep to the shadows because he never knew where Snow's informants were and no doubt the man had put feelers out with them to find him.
He kept his head down to the shadowed sidewalk, and walked with no particular destination in mind. Sucking in deep breaths of fresh air helped calm him. He never had a problem with his loneliness before. Most of the time he preferred the solitude but with Joss riling up feelings he wasn't ready to face left him unsettled.
It wasn't until he looked up that he realized he was across the street from her place. John unconsciously had walked the fifteen minute drive, in about a half hour, and was standing across from her brownstone. Anger burned through him. Why did he keep showing up here? Why wouldn't she just do as he asked? Why couldn't he just forget about her? Maybe he could make her do as he asked. He could be cruel to her. Be the monster he knew he could be. Perhaps if he made her hate him she'd forget him. It'd kill him but she'd be safe.
John looked around surveying his surroundings and once satisfied no one was around or out of place, he moved. He heard the pounding of his heart in his ears with each step up her front stoop he took. He would be cruel to her. He would say things he didn't mean just to make her give up on him. He could. His hand was poised to knock on her door without him consciously doing so.
The door opened making him realize he had actually knocked and Joss stood there only in her blouse with the top two buttons undone, sleeves rolled up to her elbows, dress slacks, and bare feet making her the most beautiful woman in the world. "John, what are you doing here?"
Why indeed? Just a few short seconds ago he knew but the moment she opened the door all his intentions seemed to have disappeared. And he was left with an urgent need that he resented, bitterly fought against, but couldn't stop.
He had to have her as he stepped forward, dragging her to him with little resistance, and kissed her hard and desperately. It felt like a storm was raging inside him with thunder rumbling in his head, lightning flashing in his heart, and the moment his lips touched hers felt like the skies opened up and the sun came out as a burst of warmth spread through him. He didn't understand the significance nor was he going to care. Her lips parted in either surprise or invitation, which he didn't care, and swept his tongue deep into her wondrous wet cavern as he stepped closer. He plundered her mouth with his tongue as he pressed her against the doorframe and held her neck to hold her still for his relentless kiss.
The soft little mewing noise she made urged him to press a knee between her legs and let a hand wander down her body tracing her curves that attracted him. She was kissing him back with matching intensity that seemed to only serve to march him closer to the edge of his control snapping. He could take her right here and she wouldn't care. She wanted it. Wanted him.
Joss was the one to pull away first. She held fistfuls of his shirt. "I think we should move this inside," she whispered throatily.
Panic swelled in him as much as his dick swelled against his shorts. This wasn't going to be just sex, but he couldn't seem to stop his feet from moving him with her into her home.