Author's Note: Astoria is Greek, born in Athens Greece, because why not? Pottermore Etymology: The name [Astoria] may also be related to Astraea, a daughter of Zeus in Greek mythology who personified justice. Astraea is derived from Greek meaning "star-maiden."

Summary: Draco and Astoria have postponed their honeymoon for a reason. They also planned a muggle cruise for it for a reason; to get far away from England and his parents. Then why were they constantly running into them at every turn?

Rated: T

Genre: Humor, Family

Newlyweds Go On Honeymoon, Parents Crash It

After facing five tiresome years of being in various stages of government lockdown, Draco and Astoria Malfoy were desperate to finally get away from the United Kingdom the moment his international travel ban was lifted. Draco thought he knew what cabin fever was when he was confined to Malfoy Manor for most of his seventh year, but it continued under the Ministry's orders for another year after the war, plus two years of community service once the house arrest was lifted. Being watched every waking hour of the day for four years did things to one's psyche.

Nevermind the whole "serving a madman" bit.

What good that did come out of it all was that Draco now had Astoria in his life, and she kept him sane throughout the repercussions of war. She humbled him, healed him, and restored him in a way he never thought possible after how much he went through—after all of the horrible things he'd done.

They'd been married for two years now and decided to wait on their honeymoon until Draco's ban was lifted, so instead they planned, waited, and took a small weekend trip to the southern coast while biding their time. That was when they discovered large ships that took people to different countries. Intrigued, Astoria asked about them and was immediately wanting to go on one.

"Do you think they're really safe?" Draco asked skeptically. "How can that thing float? It's as big as a giant!"

Astoria rolled her eyes and handed him a bunch of reading materials. "It will float just fine," she assured him. "I hope you don't get seasick, because they have one setting sail to the Mediterranean the same day your ban is lifted, and I already booked us for it."

Draco flipped through the pamphlets for the cruise Astoria was going to make him go on and sighed. It wasn't the fact it was a very muggle tourist thing to do—maybe that did bother him a little bit—it was the newness of it all that scared him.

"If that is what you wish," he said, taking her hand and giving it a gentle kiss, "then I cannot wait to visit your home country with you."

Though Astoria prepared him as best as she could by studying the ship's map, designated route, stops, and evacuation protocols should it sink together, nothing could've prepared them for when they ran into his parents while trying to catch the lift to the main deck for the ship's departure. His parents, on a ship. A muggle ship.

It was the last place he ever thought he'd see them.

"Don't worry, dears," Narcissa told him, "We will make sure to not interfere with you en route. It will be like we were never here."

Draco was surprised she stayed true to her word. The couple didn't have another run-in with them on the ship.

Once the boat docked at the first destination in Gibraltar, Southern Spain, Draco and Astoria headed for the cable cars that took them up The Rock. It was a popular attraction, but the hope of not seeing his parents again was short-lived when they boarded the cable car a few minutes after them.

"Mother," Draco hissed under his breath, "you said you wouldn't meddle in our affairs."

"What did you expect was going to happen?" Lucius asked condescendingly. "They thrust all of these intriguing sights right at you the second you board."

"It isn't our fault we ended up following along with the muggle tourist traps," Narcissa said, backing up Lucius' statement.

"It's not a big deal, really," Astoria assured, placing a comforting hand on Draco's arm.

The embarrassment stained his cheeks when an elder lady boarded the car and promptly took notice of them.

"Oh, how lovely!" she chirped. "It's good to see a family vacationing together these days."

Draco hooked an arm around Astoria and all but drug her out of the cable car, bypassing the elder lady in the process. "There's no relation."

"Was that necessary?" Astoria scolded while they waited for the next car. "You know they didn't come on purpose."

He grabbed her hands in his and looked into her hazel eyes. "That isn't the point. This was meant to be our time, and running into them is ruining it. Going on a muggle vacation was supposed to prevent this from happening."

"I guess we'll have to be more creative with our planning, then," Astoria said, a mischievous smile gracing her lips.

Draco always liked it when she smiled like that. It hinted that a reckless, sneaky plan was brewing. It was something he'd grown quite fond of partaking in her shenanigans.

After touring The Rock and shopping center, Astoria steered them off the beaten path to a less touristy looking area of the city where they found a small restaurant. After indulging in authentic staple foods of Spain, they ended up getting a little lost trying to find their way back to the ship.

"We're going to get left behind."

Astoria laughed at the comment. "That wouldn't be so bad, would it?"

They decided to apparate back to their room after wandering around a few more minutes and getting more lost. The exploration-overload stacked with travel anxiety and the embarrassment of stumbling across his parents a second time wiped Draco out. He stayed in their cabin through the entire voyage to Italy. Astoria refused to let him stay behind once they docked in Bari.

"Everything I want to see are tourist traps," Draco grumbled while looking through the pamphlets. "And I already know for a fact my parents will be going to them because of it, too."

Astoria scanned the map of what Draco was talking about. He wasn't entirely wrong, but even the smaller port towns had their tour niches. The churches and castles were beautiful in the photographs, but she was drawn to the theatre that sat just off the main strip.

"Let's go here," she said, "Knowing your mother and her tastes for art, she'd want to see the architecture firsthand. We can take a detour and go here to make sure a run-in won't happen and loop back around to see the rest after."

Draco reviewed the map and gave her a genuine smile. "I love you."

"I know."

Astoria was quite clever seeing how predictable Draco's parents were, things couldn't have gone any better in their plan on avoiding his parents. They were even lucky enough to get seats for an opera showing at the Teatro Petruzzelli Theatre. Astoria awed over its intricate design and style while they waited to get in.

"It's a shame that it's not the original structure," Draco said, reading a plaque that was mounted outside of it. "You can't really tell based on the photographs, huh?"

"Maybe a little bit," Astoria said, curling her arm in his. "Shall we?"

Draco pecked her on the cheek and turned to the entrance only to see a pair of bright blond's facing away from them entering ahead. He groaned, and Astoria's small giggle betrayed the annoyed look on her face.

"I swear they're doing it on purpose now," Draco said before plopping face-first into a pillow back in their cabin. "This is turning into a nightmare."

Astoria barely heard his statement through the muffling of the pillow. She sat on the edge of the bed and placed a hand on his back.

"There's still plenty of vacation time left," she reminded. "And there is still Athens. It's a big city, and I'm quite familiar with its inner workings, so we can get away from what you and your parents claim are the tourist traps entirely. Maybe seeing a more authentic side of the country will help you enjoy the visit more."

He let out a dejected—but inaudible—comment.

"I know a really great Greek restaurant there," she hinted, "and I definitely know how much you love my Greek food." She was not wanting to give up on him yet.

Draco rolled to his side to face her, interest piqued. "Do you really?"

"Yup. It's in a more secluded part of town. No tourists know about it, really."

"We'll be scolded and treated badly, then."

"Nonsense," she said before going off on a tangent in Greek.

Draco was pretty sure he heard her swear a couple of times during her spiel.

The ship finally docked in Port Piraeus, Athens, Greece. After the pep talk from his wife, Draco left the floating palace with a restored appreciation and desire to enjoy the remaining time of their honeymoon in Astoria's hometown. She immediately had them split from the ship's crowd, hailed a cabbie once they got out of the terminal, and had them on their way to the northern part of the city within a half hour. Draco found the car ride unnecessary, but Astoria kept reminding him that they were in it for the muggle experience.

"If you don't think your parents will be there, I can take you to the magical side of Athens after lunch," Astoria offered. "I am quite fond of this small bookstore there, and the apothecary shop always has great stock of an ingredient that never gets imported to the UK."

Draco smirked, gripping her hand. "Do I need to contact Potter now that I know my wife is a contraband smuggler?"

She gently smacked his arm and laughed.

Lunch came and went without issue. Astoria guided him through the streets with ease as they made their way to the dead-end alley that lead them to their side of the city. Seeing his parents in the same shop they entered had Draco completely lose it on them.

"Merlin forbid, Mother! If you want grandchildren someday then you need to work on your Disillusionment or Notice Me Not Charms because this is not how you get them when we're always running into you two!"

Draco took a heated breath, sending steely glares at both of his parents, uncaring that he was making a scene in the middle of the bookstore.

"Might as well move into our cabin on the ship at this point…" Astoria muttered from behind him.

Draco had to force himself to not laugh at the remark.

Narcissa looked taken back by her son's outburst but placed a hand on Lucius' chest to stop him from replying. "I never said you wouldn't run into us off of the ship. I said you wouldn't see us en route. Everything else is completely out of our hands."

Draco groaned, running his hands over his face.

This was now the worst vacation Draco ever had, and he remembered really hating his visit to Russia—in the middle of winter—when he was eight years old, too.

Originally written for:

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry (Challenges & Assignments)

Monthly Challenges for All

The Houses Competition

Word Count: 1,788