Guestspirit: Due to the spoiler-y nature of your comment, I cannot reply at this time.
Solarr-Eclipse: I know! It's exciting to have the Revenge gang here at last. Yeah, Dawn is usually a popular choice for a winner since she's got a mysterious appeal. Thanks for enjoying what I've done with Mike. I hope to do well with him.
Critica7: Very true about the shelter. Thanks for understanding my writing choices. Good choice on making Mike a drama dork. I was in Drama in my high school years, and the people in that clique are very interesting.
Joel Connell: Glad it was a good first chapter of the section. I wanted to make Staci a more relatable character that readers could understand instead of hate right off the bat. Ever since she first appeared, I thought she wasn't that bad and didn't deserve all the hate she's gotten throughout the years. Yeah, it was important to treat Mike and his character more respectfully. Being sick was not fun, but that's long past now. At least I was able to start the year off on a good note.
Guest: Interesting prediction for an elimination order.
Derick Lindsey: Nice to know I had you guessing for a few minutes. I thought it was important to show Staci had depth, and her reason for lying is my headcanon why she does. I'll be honest, I did consider keeping Staci around for a few episodes to flesh the story of Dawn helping her out, but ultimately decided against it for the sake of story pacing.
The Aspiring Fanfic Fanatic: Yeah, it was important to give Staci a better sendoff than canon did. It helps that nothing is around that could make her lose her hair. I did debate on keeping her a little longer, but decided not to so I didn't overshadow anybody else's arcs. Yeah, Dawn has a pretty neat skill, and I wanted to let everyone know that it isn't perfect. Mike is one of my favorite characters, and as much as I love him, he needed a few tweaks to make him better.
Acosta perez jose ramiro: Thanks! I wanted to compare Staci to another liar, and Lila seemed like a good example. It's been a while so I am happy to say I am definitely better. Thanks for the concern.
AnonBroswer: Another reader I almost fooled with the first elimination. Like I've said to others, I wanted to show a more rounded Staci than people usually write. When given a proper chance to develop instead of just having her there to take up space, she can be quite interesting. About the new label, yeah, I remember reading an interview transcript with Mike's voice, and one of the questions was what label he would give Mike, and that was his answer. All these years it just stuck with me because I liked it that much. Not sure if I could dig it up since that was so long ago. Because of how spoiler-y Mal is, I cannot answer your last question.
SideshowJazz1: Haha, got you! Staci was still the first to leave. You could do a few episodes of her learning to tell the truth and show her true self, but yeah, short seasons make that difficult to do. I'm happy I'm not the only one who noticed the inconsistency with the teams' locations. Time will tell with Scott. Yeah, Mike's original label wasn't that great, and I liked Fangren's idea for him. I personally thought the Introspective was a bit complex, so I went with something simpler. I get why Mike is so secretive about his disorder. He probably needs to build trust with people he interacts with before he feels comfortable divulging his secret.
SilentSinger948: Yeah, it's not often people give depth to Staci, and I wanted to be one of the people that do give her that. Time will tell if Scott will change his plans, or stick to them to the end. I'm a big fan of Mike/Zoey, and to each their own opinions. I do intend to make them grow at a more organic pace, and intend to explore Mike as himself.
OmniarchOnePunchSuperman: Yeah, I wanted to do a little more with Staci than people usually do with her.
Guest: No future epilogue. a) The show itself doesn't do those and I'm trying to keep this close to the show's style and b) I hate future flashes because they tend to do things wrong with characters.
That British Guy: That's fine.
The Legendary Dragon Reaper: The power of writing characters sympathetically! I'd say most underrated character is perhaps Staci or B. In the right hands, Staci can become a well-rounded character, and for B, the guy who doesn't talk sadly doesn't seem to have a lot of fans.
Guest: Finally! Someone who caught and pointed out the Stoked reference! For everyone who missed it, the reference was the Ridgemount Resort that Staci mentioned in her confessional.
As a reminder, Cast Swap has a TVTropes page that is always looking to be improved, so if you have something you think can be added to the page. Please go ahead and add it.
With replies out of the way, it's time to get greasy with some piggies!
Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama, or anything with the franchise. I only own a DVD of season one and some shirts.
Episode 2- Piggy Panic
"Last time on Total Drama Pahkitew Island," Chris began to narrate over the image of the sun rising over the island, "it's an all new season with an all new island and all new victims- I mean, competitors!" The campers were shown onboard the zeppelin before Chris showed up via hologram. Lightning did his boastful jog past B, Anne Maria, and Dakota with the pair of Zoey and Staci watching him. Then Scott and Jo were shown exchanging their snippy introductions.
"Two incredible teams were created," the host said over footage of the two newly formed teams participating in the material collection for the first challenge. "And by incredible, I mean incredibly weird. The first challenge was to build themselves a home, and the Kinosewak's military base was a hands-down winner when compared to Team Maskwak's poorly built tree fort." The former team was shown finishing their shelter, followed by the collapse of the latter team's shelter during the stampede.
"For doing nothing but blabber about her family's fake history and being annoying in general, Staci was the first one to be fired away in our Cannon of Shame debut," Chris concluded his narration with footage of Staci's elimination at the end of the previous episode.
A flash cut showed Chris in present time against an early morning sky. "So, what firsts can we expect during our second challenge? Find out soon on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!"
(cue intro)
Na, I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous…
The version of the theme song used in All-Stars started up. Cameras popped out of various hiding spots on the previously untouched island, one of the cameras even popping out of a rock and smacking a seagull over the head in the process. Like the previous two seasons, a camera zoomed throughout the island. Chris and Dakota stood on a boulder on the beach, the fame-hungry girl posing for the camera. As the camera passed the pair, Chris shoved Dakota off their shared boulder with an annoyed expression on his face.
Once the camera passed some trees, Jo was shown blowing a whistle into the ear of Brick, who was collecting blueberries in a bucket. As Jo snickered to herself, she noticed Lightning standing behind them, pointing and laughing. Glaring at the jock, Jo poked him in both his eyes at once with two fingers, causing him to bring his hands to his pained eyes.
A quick upward pan showed Scott standing up on a cliff with Staci, who appeared to be telling lies about her family. Staci was so invested in her activity, she didn't notice Scott checking around before the devious guy put on a dirty smirk and shoving her off the cliff from behind.
Na, I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous…
In a tree down below, Dawn sat beside a bird's nest on a tree branch. On the other side of the tree on a slightly higher branch, Cameron was excitedly pointing at things offscreen he appeared to spot. Both of the season's shortest contestants turned their heads at the sight of Staci falling past their tree. Cameron's eyebrows shot up in concern while Dawn apparently expected Staci's fall, given how she kept a look of indifference on her face.
Another quick pan to ground level displayed Anne Maria sitting on a boulder between Mike and Zoey, who were standing on either side of her. Mike attempted to woo Zoey with a bouquet of handpicked flowers, who seemed receptive to the gesture. Their moment was quickly ruined by Anne Maria obliviously pulling out a can of hairspray and starting to use it. Almost immediately, Mike and Zoey began coughing, and Mike switched to Chester, hunched over and squinting one eye. Chester started shaking a fist and complaining at Anne Maria, who stopped applying her hairspray once the complaints started, and Zoey watched with confusion.
Panning to the left, B was working in a clearing on some small catapult full of water balloons while Sam stood nearby, playing his handheld game. To B's surprise, the catapult triggered prematurely, throwing the balloons up and getting both boys' horrified attention.
One of the balloons exploded mid-air, revealing not water but some sort of smokescreen. When the smoke cleared, it was nighttime and the bonfire was lit. Mike, back to his usual self, and Zoey held hands as they sat side by side, smiling at each other. They leaned in to kiss, only the gloved hand of Chef Hatchet to hold a green, strange-looking apple in between them. The pair flinched away from the apple, looking between it and each other uncertainly.
As the other campers whistled to the theme song, the camera zoomed out to show them along with the show's title sign that read 'Total Drama Pahkitew Island'.
The sun was still rising over the island in the early morning. After a brief look at the island during sunrise, the camera cut to the Floating Salmon's new shelter, with its glitter-speckled walls displayed prominently.
Cutting inside, a curtain was shown splitting the base in half, the left side belonging to the Salmon boys and the right owned by the Salmon girls. All the beds were the same- rectangular piles of straw with only a pillow for someone to rest their head on and a tattered blanket to cover up with.
Anne Maria and Zoey appeared to be sleeping soundly in their beds while Jo had evidently already gotten up for the day, based on how her blanket had been tossed aside.
On the boys' side, Brick and Cameron slept as peacefully as the two girls were. Mike, however, appeared to be constantly shifting under his blanket.
"Feh, these beds are awful. These whippersnappers said they could make a shelter, not a pain in the neck," Mike could be heard saying as Chester.
He let out a gasp, transitioning back to Mike, "Come on, Chester… they tried their best…"
Letting out another gasp, Chester returned, "Fine… I'll shut up… for now…"
Just as it seemed Mike and Chester were going to quiet down, a sharp whistle pierced the air. All three boys jolted awake with startled yells, followed by Anne Maria and Zoey on the other side.
"Wake up, fish tails!" Jo loudly called from outside the shelter. "Winning challenges isn't gonna happen if you're sleeping like you're dead in the water!"
As cadet school had taught him, Brick got out of bed at the order. "Not going to lie, but it's a bit comforting that she sounds just like my drill instructor."
Mike reluctantly moved to follow Brick's lead, while Cameron sat up in his bed, moaning as he rubbed his weary head.
(Confessional- Cameron)
"Last night was really rough," Cameron stated, squirting some hand sanitizer onto his hands and rubbing his hands together. "It was the first night I ever spent outside of my bubble. I originally planned on using my sleeping bag to recreate my bubble, but I lost that when we had to abandon the zeppelin. Hopefully, I'll get used to sleeping without my bubble as time goes on."
At the site where the Confused Bears were supposed to have built their shelter, the team waited around, realizing that they likely wouldn't have time to rebuild their shelter before Chris summoned them for a challenge. In spite of that revelation, B took the time to sort their salvageable supplies out.
"Ugh, we better build our shelter right tonight. Sleeping last night was torture," Scott remarked, whittling at a stick with a shark tooth that must've come from his parachute the previous day. "And this is coming from a guy who sleeps on a bag of raccoons back home. You have any idea what it's like trying to sleep while something is clawing at your face?"
"You think you have it bad?" Her sunglasses over her eyes despite the early morning, Dakota retorted, "I didn't get enough beauty sleep."
Sam walked over to her, a reassuring smile on his face. "Come on, I'm sure you look- Great suns of Orion!" He recoiled when Dakota removed her sunglasses. The fame-hungry girl had big, dark bags under her eyes and her eyes were quite bloodshot themselves.
(Confessional- Sam)
"Whoa, I haven't seen eyes that bad since the time I stayed up until 3 am to watch the livestream of the New Game Expo," Sam remarked, still shocked by Dakota's bad morning looks. "But hey, for a rough first night on the island, the rest of her still looks pretty hot." He smiled at the thought of Dakota's beauty.
(Confessional- Dakota)
Her eyes looked much better than moments ago, indicating she used makeup to look better or it was later in the day. "This is my first time on this kind of show, and it is not what I expected. I thought we'd actually have beds, and wouldn't be stuck out in the woods like this. Next time I do a show, I should make sure sleeping arrangements are included."
"Lightning didn't have trouble sleeping at all. Not that it would matter to him, though." Lightning pulled out a large bucket. "As long as he gets his daily DPA, it's all sha-good."
Sam turned away from Dakota, who put her sunglasses back on to hide her hideous eye bags, and raised an eyebrow at the athletic overachiever. "Where'd you get that? And what's DPA?"
"It's short for daily protein alignment, duh! You think you and paparazzi meat over there are the only ones who saved something from the blimp crash?" Lightning cracked open the bucket, and reached in, pulling out a small scoop full of protein mix.
As Lightning took his protein supplement for the day, Scott continued to whittle while rolling his eyes. Glancing over the camp, he noticed something off. "Hey, did anybody see where little miss mysterious went?"
Typing on her phone, Dakota replied without looking over, "I think she said something to me about going to find food."
"Thanks for coming to forage with me, Cameron," Brick said gratefully as he and Cameron walked past some bushes. "It's a relief that someone else on the team knows how to collect food."
Cameron beamed up at his teammate. "You're welcome. I studied a lot of wilderness survival tips before I came out here, so I'm eager to put it all to work."
"Fantastic. You start over by these bushes, and I'll start over here," Brick directed, and the two boys got to gathering. As Brick examined some berries on a bush, he asked, "So, why did you sign up for Total Drama?"
"Honestly, to get out of my bubble," Cameron answered, looking in a different bush. "My mom has always been really overprotective. Before yesterday, I didn't do much besides reading. I wanted to try lots of new things, and coming out here seemed like the best way to do it. She was actually kinda mad that I signed up without asking her first." Walking to another bush a few feet away, he noticed how different it seemed from the others, recognized it even. "That's weird, what's a Chinese mulberry bush doing out here? This isn't native to the region."
"Hey, Cameron, look what I found," Brick called from the area he was searching. Cameron looked over his shoulder, and gasped when he saw a dark green apple in the cadet's hand. Cameron opened his mouth to speak up, but someone else beat him to it.
"Don't touch that!" cried out Dawn.
Yelping, Brick dropped the apple and stepped away from it. He glanced to the side, and spotted Dawn walking over with a little cloth bag in hand.
Brick looked at her quizzically. "What's the problem? It's just an apple."
She shook her head. "That's no ordinary apple. It's a machineel fruit, and it contains very negative energy."
"Um, I'm not sure about the negative energy…" Cameron joined the two. "But she's right about it being a really bad apple. It's referred to as la manzana de la muerte, translated to the apple of death. While it can't kill you like the name implies, it still can give you very adverse effects."
"Really, like what?" Brick held up the hand that had been holding the fruit while asking his question, and nearly screamed when he saw it was red and blistering. "What the heck?"
Dawn nodded her head. "That would be one of the effects. Not to worry, it can be easily remedied though. Just soak your hand in water, and rub it with sand. That'll make the blisters go away."
"Oh, thanks for the tip. I'll go do that right now." Cradling his hand, the cadet went off to go do as the moonchild advised.
Cameron watched his teammate go, and then faced Dawn with a marveled expression. "Wow! I knew about the remedy too. You really know your flora."
Dawn smiled at him. "I grew up with nature. It's a gift. While your teammate is fixing his predicament, would you like some help gathering food for your team?"
"Sure, that would help a lot!"
(Confessional- Dawn)
"Cameron's aura was pleasant to look at." She stated as she sat on the outhouse seat in lotus position. "We've only been out here for one day, and I can already see the positive changes in his aura that are occurring because of his new experiences."
"Campers," Chris's voice rang out through the loudspeakers, "the only good thing about this morning is that it's only going to get worse for you." He chuckled as the campers were shown having nervous reactions to his announcement. "There's a path leading into the forest. Follow it to today's hurt-tacular challenge!"
A flash forward had the Confused Bears reunited, and all were eating some berries that Dawn had collected on their way to the challenge.
"Fruit? What about the sha-protein?" Lightning complained as he ate.
Scott shrugged. "Hey, if you wanted that, then you should've just hunted for yourself. I'm certainly not complaining about the grub, and I wouldn't have minded if we had to eat dirt for breakfast."
At the back of the group, Sam and Dakota ate as they walked. Sam stopped walking, causing Dakota to stop in turn, and he faced her. "I just want to say I'm sorry about what I said earlier. I was just so taken by your… neck." Immediately, Sam grimaced at his word choice.
(Confessional- Sam)
"Neck?" He repeated to himself, incredulous. "Seriously, neck?"
Bewildered by the comment, Dakota hesitantly replied, "Uh, thanks? I like your…" She did a once over of Sam's body, but couldn't find anything positive to say about his appearance. "Can I get back to you on that?"
Sam, who had eagerly been looking forward to praise from the girl, frowned sadly when the praise didn't come. When Dakota went to catch up with the team, Sam sighed in dismay.
Like the Bears, the Salmon were enjoying a berry breakfast from Brick and Cameron's foraging efforts.
"Gotta say, Pencil Neck, Buzz Cut, you brought in a good haul," Jo commented.
"Yeah, not too bad boys," Anne Maria agreed. "Not my first choice for breakfast, but it'll do."
Brick smirked at Cameron. "You wouldn't be saying that if we brought back the apple we found." Cameron chuckled at the little in-joke.
Mike and Zoey brought up the group's rear.
"So, Zoey? What kind of things do you like?" Mike asked curiously.
Zoey sheepishly lowered her gaze to her feet. "Oh, probably nothing you'd recognize. I'm mostly interested in really dorky things like bands that aren't hugely popular and retro glasses."
Mike gave her a challenging grin. "Nothing I'd recognize, huh? Well, what about movies? What's your favorite one?"
Zoey hesitated a moment before answering, "Total Warriors 2. I know, liking a sequel is really dumb because they typically get a lot of backlash for not being as good as the first."
Mike actually stopped walking and beamed at her. "Are you kidding? I love the Total Warriors series! The sequels are actually pretty cool. What's your favorite scene?"
Before she could provide an answer, Chris's voice came over the intercom again. "Clam up, campers! Pick up the pace!"
Cringing apologetically, Zoey called out, "Sorry!" She and Mike, along with the rest of their team, sped up their footsteps.
Another flash cut had the campers standing in front of Chris. Behind him sat a couple of lawn chairs for him and Chef, a platter of sandwiches and a pitcher of water, and a widescreen TV.
"Welcome, victims, to the Oop-stacle Relay Race of Hilarious Hurts!" Chris greeted the twelve remaining.
Dakota lifted her sunglasses from her face, and stared at Chris. "You're joking, right?"
"Nope, Dakota, I'm not. Now, each player takes on a different oop-stacle, starting with the Greased Log over a thorny bog." Turning on the widescreen TV, Chris showed the campers an image of a log bridge coated in grease over a small pool of water filled with prickly vines. "That gets you to a greasy zipline over the ravine for the next player." A rope covered in grease was shown suspended between two trees on two cliffs opposite of each other. "Then, a quick and painful journey through the Grease-tacular Tube-tacular!" A set of complicated tubes were shown, and grease seemed to be spilling out from each end. "Next up is the Greased Tires, and then a pass off to the Greasy Wheelbarrow Race." First a set of tires were shown laying in a greasy field, followed by two dirty green wheelbarrows next to another greasy field absent of any tires. "And the last lucky player climbs a rope up the Greased Wall, or tries to and falls, which is way funnier." The last obstacle shown was a wood wall similar to the one from the fifth season's rope wall during Chef's obstacle course challenge, but covered in grease.
"We have to do all that in grease? Ew!" Dakota cringed, getting looks from her team. Sam and Dawn appeared to be the only ones who understood her reaction, given their expressions were more sympathetic.
Chris nodded his head in confirmation. "Yep! Now, I was going to have you pass a relay baton, but I couldn't find any."
Jo scoffed. "Whatever you have planned as a substitute, Chris, bring it on. I can take it."
Her bravado faltered when she and her team, along with their opponents, noticed Chef arriving on the scene, attempting to drag two large pigs over on a leash.
"You'll be using greased wild boars!" Chris declared. "Not so much as batons as ba-cons."
Anne Maria sent the host a flat look. "You're lucky we ain't giving you a score, otherwise I'd take points off for that really lame pun."
Mike shrugged his shoulders. "I thought it was pretty good."
"Thank you, Mike. The first team to cross the finish line with their boar wins," Chris concluded his explanation, walking over to Chef and the pigs. "Decide amongst yourselves who does what oop-stacle because the race is about to start."
Jo pointed at herself. "I'll take the wall. Can't be all that hard, even with having to carry the dumb pig."
"Hey, what if I want to do the wall? I climbed walls like it all the time at cadet school," Brick argued.
"Get in line," Jo retorted with a sneer. "I'm pretty sure we agreed yesterday that you could be in charge of building the shelter, but after that, we were all listening to me."
Cameron lifted a finger to interject. "Actually, I don't think we ever came to a formal decision about letting you be team captain."
"Nobody asked you, Pencil Neck," Jo snapped, glaring at the bubble boy. "I'm doing the wall, end of story. Who's doing the other ones?"
Zoey raised her hand. "I'm okay with doing the zipline. I've always wanted to do it, but there's nowhere I could do it near my town."
"And I can do the tubes," Mike offered.
Cameron thought for a moment. "Considering my lack of upper body strength, I believe the tires requires the least of that. I'll do that one."
Anne Maria sighed. "I guess that leaves me with the wheelbarrow. I cannot balance on that log in these heels." She gestured to her shoes for emphasis.
"Which means I get the log," concluded Brick. "That's fine. I worked on my balance at school too."
(Confessional- Brick)
"Jo pretty much ripping leadership of the team from me was kinda harsh," the cadet admitted, "but the order we came up for our team was pretty much what I would've chosen had I been in charge. Except, you know with me and Jo swapping places."
(Confessional- Jo)
Jo sat in the outhouse with her arms crossed. "If the team has issues with how I run things, tough nuts. I have no intention of making the same mistakes that Sky kid from two seasons ago made. We got lucky that we won since the other team's tree house was trashed. There's no way that was going to happen twice under Baby Boots' leadership."
"Then it's decided," Jo confirmed. "Alright, let's get to our stations!"
The Salmon ran over to the course, passing the Bears as they went. While Lightning stood in front of his team, Dakota and Sam chose to spend the few moments they had before the challenge to use their electronics while B, Dawn, and Scott paid attention to the athletic overachiever.
"Quiet guy may have led us yesterday, but now it's the Lightning's turn to shine!" Lightning boasted.
B lifted a hand to interject, and Dawn noticed it, speaking up. "Um, if you'd listen, B has a suggestion how we should-!"
Lightning cut her off. "Sorry, creepy girl, but while Lightning was cool with quiet guy telling us how to build a tree house, races like this are Lightning's turf."
"What's the plan, sha-smarty?" Scott asked, his tone somewhat devious. No sooner than Chris had finished explaining the challenge did Scott start plotting how to sabotage it for his team.
"Here's what we do- farmer boy goes first since he probably knows how to make pigs do what he tells them, quiet guy goes second so he can go down the zipline extra fast, creepy girl goes third since she's the smallest, phone girl goes fourth, gamer guy does the wheelbarrow, and the Lightning takes home the win with the wall," Lightning stated. "How's that for a game plan?"
"Sounds good," Sam commented distractedly, mashing buttons. "Have fun."
Dakota had her phone up to her ear. "The challenge is going to start soon. This time nobody's going to be shooting things at me so you should be able to- hey!" A magnet tied to a fishing line latched onto Dakota's phone, and ripped it out of her hand. The magnet then proceeded to do the same to Sam's handheld console.
"Aw, I was just about to hit a checkpoint!" Sam pouted.
The pair, along with their team, looked over to see Chris holding the fishing rod with the magnet. "Confiscators keepers! Get your butts to your positions because it's time to race!" He watched the Bears walk over to the relay, Dakota and Sam moping despondently as they went. Their misery caused Chris to smile in satisfaction.
A flash cut a few minutes forward had Chris and Chef relaxing in their lawn chairs. The camera panned over to show Brick and Scott at the starting line with their teams' respective pigs.
"Ready, set, go!" Chris called from his seat.
The sound of Chris's air horn agitated Brick's pig, and its leash slipped out of Brick's hand.
"Whoa, hey!" Brick yelped, taking chase after the pig as it ran around the starting area. "Halt!"
Scott stood at the starting line with his team's pig, and chuckled. "It really pays to live on a farm. Alright you piece of bacon, come here." The pig squealed in protest when Scott locked his arms around its middle and hoisted it up. "Gotta say, for something not cooked yet, you smell delicious." The dirt farmer made his way over to the first obstacle and attempted to cross it. Unfortunately for him, the grease on the log wouldn't allow him to gain traction. "Come on! Just let me up the stupid- agh!" He mis-stepped and fell directly onto the log, squishing his nuts. Letting out a whimper, he slid back down.
Chris and Chef pointed at him and laughed at his pain.
Ahead on the course, Sam sighed as he waited his turn. "Sure wish I had my game right now. I could be so close to the high score."
He heard someone scoff behind him. "I know, right?" The gamer looked over his shoulder and saw Dakota approaching him with her arms crossed. "Chris is such a jerk. I could've sent like two hundred texts by now."
Sam chuckled at the way she pouted cutely. "Look at that. We're more alike than we think."
Dakota gasped, hurt. "How could you say that to me?"
Realizing he had said something wrong, Sam attempted to backtrack. "Nonono, I meant we both like our phones and our games. Believe me, we're nothing alike otherwise."
The recovery seemed to work because Dakota beamed at him. "Aw thanks!"
(Confessional- Dakota)
"I don't really get Sam," the fame monger admitted in the outhouse. "But the thing he said about us both liking our stuff is the first nice thing anybody has said to me out here. Maybe being stuck on this island won't be so bad if someone like him is around."
Back at the greased logs, Scott had managed to recover from his painful fall and was past the incline. Now he struggled to get across the main part. "I'm really starting to hate this!" Scott shouted in complaint.
Meanwhile, Brick managed to chase the pig back to the obstacle and attempted to push it up the incline. "You might be a pig, but for this challenge you're a soldier on our team," the cadet grunted in effort, "so do your duty!"
The pig farted in his face, causing him to gag.
"I didn't mean that kind of duty," Brick coughed.
On the other side of the logs, Zoey and B were in the process of putting on their ziplining gear. Zoey noticed the difficulty that Brick was having and briefly paused her preparations.
"You can do it, Brick! Just keep trying!" Zoey encouraged.
Bolstered by Zoey's enthusiasm, Brick grinned in determination. "Alright, we're doing this military school style!" Pulling the pig off the log, he took it by the front legs and shouldered it onto his back like a backpack. The pig squealed in confusion as Brick crouched down. "Hang on, soldier. I don't want you falling into the thorns." Brick proceeded to crawl onto the log like a bear, shimmying his way up the incline and onto the main part. Slowly and steadily, he pulled himself and the pig across.
On the other log, Scott was only halfway across and still fumbling to keep his balance.
"That's it, Brick! Keep going!" Zoey cheered, clapping her hands.
Brick's technique allowed him to cross the logs faster than Scott, and when he got to the other side, he let himself and the pig slide down the greasy decline to Zoey's station.
"One of the first lessons they teach you in military school- stay low," Brick stated with a confident smirk.
"Great job! I'll take it from here," Zoey said, taking the pig's leash. "Come on, piggy. Ready to have fu- whoa!" The pig took off in a run, pulling her along behind it.
Scott teetered back and forth. "Stop squirming," he ordered the pig in his arms. "You're gonna make us- gah!" The pig flew from his grip, and he fell into the thorns below. He jumped up from the thorns seconds later, clutching his buttocks which had thorns poking in it.
(Confessional- Scott)
"Meh," he scoffed, pulling the thorns out. "My sister Albertha was always better with the hogs. She won the county fair a few times with her hog calls." He then did an impression of his sister's call, only for the confessional door to swing open and his team's pig to tackle him into the toilet.
Scott walked around the logs to the other side where the pig sat innocently. B approached from his station.
"Take it," Scott spat, starting to take thorns out of his arms. "Just take it."
Nodding, B scooped up the pig and started running to the zipline.
Not far ahead of the silent genius, Zoey jogged over to the cliff with the Salmon's in her arms.
"This is going to be so cool!" Zoey grinned down at the pig. "Don't you think?" The pig squealed something that sounded like nervousness. She arrived at the cliff and clipped her harness to the line. "Here we go!" The pig shrieked as she jumped, letting the line carry them across.
B arrived soon after, clipped his harness, and clutched the pig tight as they jumped.
At the next station, Mike and Dawn waited for their turns.
"Here comes Zoey! My team is in the lead!" Mike pumped his fists.
Dawn smiled at his excitement. "You seem really comfortable around Zoey," she said, getting his curious attention. "That's good. If you tell her about your alternate personalities, she's highly likely to accept you and them."
Mike gasped in shock. "You know? About Chester, Svetlana, and the others?"
The moonchild nodded in confirmation. "Remember what I said about you having a colorful aura yesterday? They're what make it that way."
Mike stared at Dawn. "That's… wow. I don't know what to say."
"You might want to say 'Hi, Zoey!'"
"Huh? Why?"
"Mike, look out!" The voice of Zoey called out.
The hopeless romantic spun around at the call, and was met with a face full of indie chick and pig. Dawn stood nearby, watching with a bemused smile. B landed soon after with the Bears' pig, smirking at his landing that was much smoother than Zoey's.
Zoey laid on top of a dazed Mike while their team's pig sat next to her, shivering in terror.
Recovering herself, Zoey gasped as she looked down on her accidental landing pad. "Mike, I am so sorry. This was my first time ziplining and…" she trailed off her apology when she heard Mike begin to chuckle.
Opening his eyes, Mike grinned crookedly up at her. "Hi, Zoey. Is this going to be a regular thing between us? You crashing into me?"
Zoey stood up, blushing as she unfastened her harness. "Gosh, I hope not. I know some people have a running joke between them, but we could probably come up with something better."
Mike stood as well. "We probably could." Looking at the pig leash in her hand, he blushed as he took it from her. "I should get started on my part. Talk later?"
"Yeah, I'd like that."
The two teens shared a smile, and then Mike walked off, nudging the pig to follow him. While boy and pig left the screen, Zoey stayed behind and watched contently.
"It's neck and neck, and about to get tubular!" Chris announced, startling Zoey since he had snuck up behind her. "Whose got the pork chops to win?" Realizing what Chris was doing, Zoey sheepishly slipped out of frame. "Find out right here on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!"
The show faded to commercial on the typical zoom out of the island.
When the show returned from its break, it faded in on Dawn comforting her team's pig.
"There, there," she cooed, patting it on the head. "I understand that the zipline scared you. Those are meant for people, not wonderful creatures like you. If you come with me, I promise this next part won't be as terrifying. We'll just be going through some tubes. Is that fine with you?"
The pig seemed to think it over, and then nodded, holding a paw out for Dawn to shake.
"Excellent," Dawn said kindly, "come this way, please. We have a challenge to win." She and the pig jogged over to the tubes, passing Mike and his team's pig.
(Confessional- Dawn)
"I've always had a love for animals of the Earth," she said, sitting in lotus position. "Back home, I have this lovely open treehouse so that my forest friends can come visit me whenever they wish. An open treehouse shows an open heart that will treat them kindly."
"Come on. Work with me here," Mike pleaded to his team's animal, who apparently refused to go through another obstacle after the last one. He glanced over his shoulder, and saw Dawn and her pig enter the tubes. Thinking quickly, Mike gasped dramatically and pointed behind the pig's back. "Is that a coyote?"
Hearing the name of a natural predator spooked the pig, making it jump to its paws and squeal. Mike yelped as he suddenly found himself being the one tugged instead of the other way around. The pig pulled Mike into the tubes, and a series of bangs could be heard as Mike or the pig hit the tubes' walls.
(Confessional- Mike)
"Those tubes were dark and wet," Mike commented, raising a finger to his chin. "I know they had grease inside them, but I can't remember if there was anything else."
Chris and Chef watched the live footage of the challenge from their lawn chairs. Listening to Dawn, Mike, and their batons hit walls and unexpected corners, Chris glanced at Chef.
"I was worried about the animal cruelty in this challenge, but I'm okay with cruelty to Dawn or Mike," the host said casually. Chef grinned in agreement.
Dakota and Cameron stood on the other side of the tubes, waiting for their teammates.
"Hurry up in there!" Dakota pleaded, causing Cameron to raise an eyebrow. "The paparazzi are going to be here any minute and they're going to need action shots of me in the challenge."
Dawn and the Bears' pig emerged moments later. "Here we are," Dawn said softly to the pig. "End of the tunnel."
Dakota cringed at the sight of the pair covered in grease. "Ew… could you at least wipe it off before you hand it over?" Dawn frowned at the reaction.
(Confessional- Dakota)
"Sure, I want action shots of me doing challenges for publicity, but being all dirty isn't exactly photogenic," Dakota said, checking her makeup in a hand mirror. "The more I can get through this challenge with being clean, the better."
With the grease reluctantly wiped off, Dakota slowly made her way over to her station with the pig.
"Okay, here goes…" she murmured, carefully stepping onto the first tire laid out in front of her. The pig, more or less calm thanks to Dawn's influence, obediently trotted alongside the fame monger.
At the next station, Sam pumped his fist. "Yeah, go Dakota! You're doing great!"
Dakota and the pig made slow progress across the tires. The girl checked the path in front of her every step of the way, and delicately put her foot down on a spot she deemed clean enough.
Sam's enthusiasm withered once he noticed her pace. "…Go a little faster, and you'll do even greater!"
Deciding Mike was taking too long, Cameron took out some of the food he had collected during his and Brick's morning foraging. He created a trail at the end of the tubes and over to his station. Mike could be heard screaming as the pig rushed out the end tube, pulling Mike behind it on the ground, the boy covered in grease.
Cameron walked over, bending down to check on his teammate. "Mike, are you okay?"
Even though his face was against the ground, the camera could hear him gasp. Mike popped up on his feet, but he looked a bit different than normal. His shirt was torn, revealing some kind of necklace underneath, and his hair was greased back instead of in its usual spiked up style.
"Ey yo," Mike said in an Italian accent, "what's the deal with all this gunk? I feel like I was dipped in a vat of fake tanning lotion." He pulled off the torn shirt, examining the patches of grease clinging to his body.
Cameron raised a confused eyebrow at Mike's change in behavior. "Mike?"
Mike looked down at Cameron indignantly. "What? No! You're talking to the Vito, shrimp." It was then Vito noticed he was holding the pig's leash. "Uh… question for you, shrimp. Why do I have a bacon burger on a leash like some kinda pet?"
"Vito?" Cameron repeated, growing increasingly perplexed. Scrunching his eyes shut, he waved his hands in dismissal. "Never mind. We can sort this out later. I need you to pass the pig. We're behind."
Vito shrugged, dropping the leash. "Sure. The runt was about to become your problem anyway."
Cameron knelt next to the pig. "Hey there. You must be hungry after all those previous obstacles." Reaching into his hoodie, he pulled out a handful of nuts. "Pecans?"
The pig perked up attentively at the sight of food.
"Follow me, and you can have as many as you want." Cameron started laying down pecans in a trail, leading the pig to the tires as it gobbled up each one that was dropped.
"Ooh! Looks like Cameron's inner animal trainer has come out," Chris stated over the loudspeakers.
(Confessional- Cameron)
"Pigs love pecans," Cameron informed the viewers with a smile. "It was very fortunate that I found some during my foraging this morning." His smile dropped into a contemplative expression. "Though, it's weird. I didn't think pecans could be found naturally on an island like this. And I still don't understand what's going on with Mike. Over the past day, I've noticed there have been moments where he acts completely different than before, and goes by a different name. I'll have to observe him for a while to form some potential hypotheses."
Back at Chris and Chef's viewing area, Chris announced, "With only two oop-stacles left, the Kinosewak are catching up to the Maskwak!"
Chef glanced up at the monitor and frowned. "Uh, Chris? We have a problem." Sitting upright, Chris turned to look at the TV.
Dakota's paparazzi arrived in a new hot air balloon at the Greased Tires.
"Smile for the cameras!" One of the photographers eagerly requested.
Dakota struck a pose, pulling her team's pig close. "You know I will. Get ready, piggy. I'm going to make you Internet famous." The pig oinked confusedly, unsure of what was happening.
Chris scowled. "Seriously?" He snapped his fingers at Chef. "Dude, mind sending them packing?"
"How about I give them some lunch?" Chef picked up his pasta blaster from the previous two seasons and loaded it. "To go!" Aiming it in the direction of the challenge, he fired.
Dakota continued to make a variety of poses with the pig for the paparazzi. Chef's pasta blast struck the balloon, plastering the photographers against a tree and downing their balloon. The fame monger nearly jumped at the sudden attack, dropping the pig. As the pig ran around frightened, Dakota recovered from the scare and glared at the host and his assistant.
"Hey, that was totally uncalled for!" Dakota complained, putting her hands on her hips.
"It was so called for, now keep moving!" Chris retorted over the loudspeakers. Dakota growled in frustration.
At the next station, Sam coughed roughly. "Hey, could you stop? It's kinda getting hard to breathe."
Anne Maria had been spraying another coat of hairspray onto her head, but the amount she was using was more than necessary. She paused for a moment after hearing Sam's comment. "Sorry, four eyes, but hey, at least now your lungs are waterproof."
"Um, thanks?" Sam said awkwardly, finally able to breathe again.
Before she could start applying more, Cameron arrived and dropped his last few pecans into her wheelbarrow. The Salmon's pig obediently jumped into it and ate the nuts.
"Guess it's my turn now, right?" Anne Maria observed, somehow stuffing her hairspray can into her voluminous hair like it was some kind of hammerspace. "Hopefully I used enough to keep this greasy stuff from getting in my hair."
"And the Kinosewak have taken the lead!" Chris announced as Anne Maria lifted up the wheelbarrow's handles and started pushing it through her station.
Sam watched her leave, and then spotted Dakota stomping over in a huff with the Bears' pig close behind.
"Today is the worst! I had to sleep through the night without a bed, Chris took my phone, and now I can't even get paparazzi photos," Dakota complained. "The only good thing about today so far is that I haven't gotten any of this stupid grease on me."
The gamer offered her a consoling smile. "Hey, the day's not over yet. We can still turn it around."
Dakota glanced at him hopefully. "Really? You think so?"
"I know we can," Sam said with confidence.
(Confessional- Sam)
"Dakota's a really sweet chick," Sam commented with a smile, "but she just gives up too easily. Just because the boss is giving you a rough time doesn't mean the fight is over already."
"Here," Sam grabbed their team's wheelbarrow with their pig in it, "I'll show you by getting this pig to Lightning and he'll win the challenge for us. Watch!" Before Dakota could say anything else, Sam took off in a run, pushing the wheelbarrow. Getting a good stride, he guffawed, "Oh yeah! I am rocking this mini-game!"
Not far ahead, Anne Maria struggled to get through the grease. Her feet kept stumbling out from underneath her.
"Ugh, stupid grease. How am I supposed to run through this?" Anne Maria grumbled. Distracting herself with the complaining, she didn't notice her feet had completely lost balance until she was tipping over. "Whoa!" She plopped down onto the grease with a splat. "Ew! This is gonna be tough to wash outta my hair!"
Sam chuckled, passing her with ease. "I guess control has slipped from the player." His boast may have been a little too early considering he slipped down onto his own belly a moment later, doing it just late enough in the station to arrive at Lightning's feet. "Haha, sliding finish!"
Lightning flexed his arm muscles. "Aw yeah, it's the Lightning's turn now! Come here, living protein!" He wrestled the team's pig under one arm. "Wait, does protein come from pigs?" Thinking for a moment, he shook his head. "Nah, that's dumb. Protein comes from stuff like meat. Sha-victory come to Lightning!" Spinning on his heel, he ran to his station.
Sam got to his feet, and Dakota soon joined him. "Wow! You might be right, Sam. We can totally turn this around." She gave him an enthusiastic grin.
"Told ya," Sam beamed back, the pair sharing a look.
Having finished his section a little while ago, Scott was on his way to the finish line to watch Lightning when he noticed Sam and Dakota having a moment. Frowning, he raised an eyebrow.
(Confessional- Scott)
"Those two are getting awfully chummy," Scott said, whittling in the privacy of the confessional. "Something's got to be done about that."
Jo impatiently tapped her foot as Anne Maria finished her section of the relay.
"Finally! Took you long enough, Tan in a Can," Jo rudely stated as the shore reject pushed the wheelbarrow over to her. "We're behind because of you."
Anne Maria snapped, "Shut up! I'd like to see you try to climb that fricking wall with all that grease on it."
"Gladly," Jo shot back, snatching up their team's pig. "Come on, pork chop."
A flash transition showed Lightning struggling to make it up the wall. He got a few feet up, but kept sliding back down around the midway point.
"Dang, slippery wall." Lightning adjusted his grip on the Bears' pig, and made another run at the wall.
Lightning's team came over to watch him, throwing in their words of encouragement.
"Go, Lightning!" Sam cheered. "Show that wall who's the boss!"
"We believe in you!" Dawn added.
"Um, go team?" Dakota hesitantly encouraged, looking to B afterwards. "Is that how I'm supposed to cheer for my team? I've never been on a team before." Once he gave her a thumbs up, she sighed in relief. "Okay good, I'm doing it right."
Scott muttered under his breath, "Fall… fall…"
Lightning stepped further back. "Lightning's got it this time." Making another run at the wall, he tried to run straight up it without grabbing the rope. His attempt failed as even though he got three fourths of the way up that time, he still slid back down. "Stupid wall! Getting up to the top is impossible."
Dawn lifted up a finger to interject. "Maybe if you used the rope? I think that's what it is there for."
Lightning scoffed at her suggestion. "Sha-please. Only weaklings use ropes. Lightning'll show you. He almost had it that time. Let him try again." He got in a starting position.
"Outta my way, losers!" Jo rushed past him with her team's pig. Like Lightning, she made a running start at the wall. She managed to get halfway up, and unlike Lightning, used the rope to catch herself before she could slide back down. Using as much leg power as she could, she managed to single-handedly haul herself and the pig up to the top. Swinging her over the ledge, her and the pig dropped down on the other side. "First try!"
Chris and Chef, who had left their viewing station to see the finishing result up close, smiled at the winner.
"This just in- jock beaten by jockette! Pimapotew Kinosewak wins!" Chris announced.
Most of the Floating Salmon cheered, except for Vito, who was rather confused.
"And tonight's winners' meal is sponsored by Jimmy's Beaks and Feet," Chris continued, gesturing to a bucket of fried chicken that Chef held. "Our chickens walk the walk and talk the talk then we put them in the fryer! It's got just as much grease as Chef's kitchen."
Chef tossed the Salmon their bucket, and the team ran off to their shelter to feast. The Confused Bears could only watch in dismay as their chance at a decent meal was carried away.
"See? This is what happens when I lead this time," Jo boasted as the team walked back to their shelter, carrying the bucket of fried food in her arms. "We win."
"Hey, we won yesterday and I was in charge," Brick argued, walking beside her.
"True," Jo conceded. "But that doesn't change the fact that I'm in charge of the team from here on out. Clear?"
Brick looked ready to argue, but the camera shifted away from them, past Anne Maria, and onto Vito, who was walking next to Zoey and Cameron.
"Oh, Mike? I never answered your question about Total Warriors," Zoey said, getting Vito's attention.
"Ugh, again with Mike," Vito groaned. "Look, pasty. Mike ain't here right now; Vito is. I could care less about your Total Wienies or whatever." He sped up, distancing himself from the pair.
Zoey watched him go, somewhat hurt and confused. "What's up with him?" She asked Cameron.
Cameron raised a hand to his chin thoughtfully. "I'm not sure. I'm hoping to figure it out."
(Confessional- Zoey)
"Is Vito another character that Mike plays, like Chester?" Zoey wondered aloud, beginning to frown. "Because if he is, Mike could come up with nicer characters to play."
At the Confused Bears' site, the afternoon passed quickly as they got their treehouse built properly. Minus Staci, the team performed the same tasks they had the previous day. Unlike the first time, Scott didn't undo his teammates' work.
Once the shelter was completed, the team split up for different tasks. Dawn went foraging with B, Sam and Dakota stayed at the treehouse to set up the rooms (and find their back-up devices), and Scott volunteered to get firewood with Lightning.
Safely alone, Scott eyed Lightning as he picked up loose sticks.
"Listen," he said to the athlete, "you screwed up today with the wall."
Lightning huffed, leaning against a tree. "Don't rub it in, dude."
"But," Scott amended, "I can help keep you around. I noticed after Chris took Dakota's phone and Sam's game, they started to get a little too friendly."
Pulling away from the tree, Lightning took the pile of sticks from Scott, allowing him to gather more. "What are you saying?"
"We need to keep them apart," Scott said, "vote off Dakota with me. She's been useless so far, so it should be easy to get the others to vote for her too instead of you."
Lightning thought it over. "You sure? Lightning came up with our game plan, and he still messed up his part. How do you sha-know you can convince them?"
"Just trust me," Scott assured him. "Seeing how things went today, it's going to be down to either you or her."
"Wanyhtam Maskwak," Chris called over the loudspeakers, putting an end to the boys' conversation, "please head to the elimination campfire area. The cannon needs num-nums."
The show faded from the boys' conversation to the elimination ceremony. The team sat roughly in the same spots as the previous day, but for some odd reason, the pig was there as well.
"Hey, why so glum?" Chris asked, seeing the whole team frown anxiously. "You tried your best, and it was horrible. Let's see who you all blame for your collective failure." At that moment, Chef arrived with the plate of marshmallows.
(Confessional- Scott)
"Duh, who do you think?" The devious guy sneered.
(Confessional- Sam)
"Lightning failed hard today," the gamer said, "coming up with our plan, and then tanking his bit? Not the best combo."
(Confessional- Dawn)
"Lightning's arrogance caused him trouble as expected," the moonchild stated, "if left unchecked, he could become even worse. In the case of Dakota, keeping her around longer or voting her off now, both paths lead to her becoming a better person. But what decision would result in the best possible future?"
"Scott, Dawn, B, and Sam," Chris called out as he tossed the mentioned four their marshmallows. "You are all safe from elimination, which leaves Dakota the idiot," Dakota scowled at the nickname, "and Lightning the even bigger idiot." Lightning glared in offense.
"And the irritating oddball going home tonight is…"
Dakota nervously filed her nails. Lightning stared at the host with wide eyes.
"…Dakota!"
"No!" Dakota cried out in despair, witnessing Lightning be tossed the final marshmallow. "This has to be a mistake. I didn't get my spin-off series yet. Noooo!" She tried to run away from the elimination area, only for Chef to block her path.
Sam could only glance down at his feet sadly as Chef tossed Dakota over his shoulder and carried her down to the Cannon of Shame.
(Confessional- Sam)
"I can't believe she's gone," the gamer murmured despondently, "I was prepared to hit on her and get rejected all season."
"Any last words, Dakota?" Chris asked the girl loaded in the cannon.
"Um, yes?" Dakota replied as if the answer was obvious. "First of all- whooooooaaaaaaa!"
Chris unceremoniously activated the cannon's launch, interrupting her last words.
As the rest of the remaining Bears returned to their treehouse for the night, Dawn stayed at the cliff, staring into night sky where Dakota had disappeared.
"She'll be back," she whispered to herself. "Her journey here is not over."
Down by the cannon, Chris began his outro, "So far we've lost a compulsive liar and a camera fiend, two key players in a game that I never ever want to play. Who's next in the boom-boom machine? Only time will tell on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!"
(cue end credits)
Dakota- 12th
Staci- 13th
I love Dakota. It's awful what canon did to her. Unlike Amy, she didn't deserve her mutation. I can't tell if she or Ezekiel got the worse treatment in canon. I get it's clever writing because the interns usually end up in horrible situations, but since she was a contestant before being an intern, I think she should've been exempt from that kind of cruelty. Anyway, like Dawn said, she'll be back.
Not much to say about the challenge this time around. I had to rewrite a few sections a couple times to make things flow better, but I'm not totally satisfied with how it turned out. Scott didn't really have an opportunity to sabotage, but between Dakota distracting herself with the paparazzi and Lightning trying to be a big shot, he didn't need to do any of that.
This ended up taking longer than I wanted. After I finished being sick, I fell in love with a new cartoon called Owl House. That's a really good show, by the way so I encourage people to check it out. I also experienced a nostalgia trip because I got a DVD set of an old favorite cartoon for Christmas, so I watched that whole thing instead of writing on my days off from work. Then the Sonic movie released, and I had an absolute blast seeing that. So proud of how well it did in the box office. It proved that delaying the release and redesigning the central character was the right call and showed studios that it's okay to listen to fans instead of ignoring their criticism. And now Steven Universe is about to end, and I can't miss that. So yeah, a lot of great entertainment caught my attention for a while. The same will likely be true in the near future with DuckTales returning in April to start its third season.
Review in the box below, and remember, reviews are awesome!