SideshowJazz1: Glad you liked the elimination. You'll see what I do with Team Maskwak very soon. Yeah, I wanted to give Manitoba an extended appearance to make up for his late entrance. My first impression of Jo was a bully, the way she treated Cameron and all, but I've come to appreciate her more over the years even if for all her talk of being strong, she never actually won anything.
Puzzlefan 123: Yeah, the show has never exactly been fair to begin with. Also, Chris will do as Chris does.
VickyT36: Thanks for the comment!
AnonBrowser: Glad you enjoyed the Pokémon parody. Sam really does need a lot of love; he doesn't deserve the hate that canon All-Stars stirred up. Dakota is a sweetheart; she learns to think more about people and less about the game and the fame. Yeah, it would've been smarter for Scott to pin the theft on someone like Jo, but nobody ever said he was 'that' smart. He'll definitely have to be careful around Dawn now. Brick and Zoey's interaction was an unexpected but welcome addition to the episode; they're both crushing hard on somebody and are in some stage of denial. That's the question isn't it- is Mike trying to hide Mal or not?
Witchinmoonlight: Going off my first impression of Jo, I got the sense nobody back home liked her very much due to her behavior with other people. Can't talk about Mal yet due to spoilers. Glad to see another Pokémon fan. I'm not a hardcore one either, so don't worry. Surprise! What a twist, right? You are also correct that we may never know the answers to those last two questions.
Critica7: Sam really does have the potential to do well. I think if any of the later seasons were 26 episodes like the original three, he'd have a chance to go far.
Acosta perez jose ramiro: Considering Sam's original elimination was a tribute to Donkey Kong, I had to do one for Pokémon. Yeah, how would Chris react to that reveal?
Dperson3569: It was my goal to surprise people, and I'm glad that I succeeded.
Derick Lindsey: I'll say this much. Chris is not good at putting two and two together. Glad you liked the references to past seasons. Returning to the junk pile seemed like a good opportunity to do that, especially with fan favorite Mr. Coconut. Yeah, Dakota is definitely getting some camera time here. I thought that fake ceremony was pointless too, but I guess the writers needed everyone together for Ella's final song. We'll see about that other ceremony down the line, and I can't make any promises on Jo facing Cameron in the finale. Even now, I have no idea who's going to the finals; it's anyone's game. Let's face it, canon All-Stars dropped the ball with all the characters. Interesting headcanon for why Owen couldn't compete on that one, I could see it. As for your other question, the winners in my universe are Owen, Duncan, and Heather for the first three seasons.
That British Guy: Glad you're satisfied.
DarkWitch1999: Surprise! What a twist, right? True about Chris. Yeah, competing with only a team of two against a team of five is bound to be difficult.
Guest: Interesting prediction. We'll have to see if it comes true.
SilentSinger948: Thank you! Yeah, Scott's going to have to work carefully now that it's just him and Dawn. I'll tell you one thing; this next episode is going to be quite interesting.
Gman5846: Yeah, not Sam's luckiest day. At least he got to see Dakota once more before leaving.
Luna: Glad you liked the reference. Brick and Zoey's interaction just happened without any sort of planning, and it came out quite nicely. How interesting you think a team swap is going to mirror canon if it happens.
ExperimentalDeity: I'm not even going to say anything about Mal.
LazloVader9943: Thank you for the comment! No spoilers about Mal.
OmniUIShaggyOverexaggerated: Yeah, he had a good one.
Friendly reminder as always that Cast Swap has a TVTropes page, and is always looking for improvements. If you think of something that can be added, go ahead! Now with reviews out of the way, let's explore some tunnels!
Disclaimer: I do not own Total Drama, or anything within the franchise. I only own a DVD of season one and some shirts.
Episode 7- This is the Pits!
The episode started with footage of Team Kinosewak tricking the tree full of monkeys with Monkey See, Monkey Do. "Last episode was crammed full of monkey," Chris narrated over the footage, "and monkey-crammed full."
Team Kinosewak was shown running back to the vending machine. "Although Team Kinosewak were out-charged by Montana the Moose, it was Team Maskwak who lost a player all because Sam stole something he shouldn't have." Sam was shown finding Chris's wallet and cellphone in his pockets at the elimination ceremony. "For his crime against yours truly, Sam was sentenced to immediate elimination by cannon." Sam was last seen getting fired from the canon with Chris, Chef, and Dakota all watching.
A flash cut showed Chris in present time, standing beside the bonfire from the ceremony. "You don't mess with the host man, dudes." He warned the audience with his usual grin. "Seven players remain. Who will stay and who gets blasted away? Find out right here, right now on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!"
(cue intro)
The episode opened, surprisingly, on a luxurious trailer instead of one of the teams' campsites.
"Dakota! Get in here!" Chris could be heard snapping impatiently. The camera cut to Dakota walking into a room inside the trailer.
"What?" she asked, standing in the doorway with an eyebrow raised.
"Explain to me," Chris demanded as he slid open a closet door, "why are all my shirts pink?!" Several shirts that were identical to Chris's usual attire, except their bluish-gray color had been turned into a dark pink, could be seen hanging inside the closet.
Dakota shrugged flippantly. "Sorry, must have been a mistake." She then leered at him. "Kind of like how you made a mistake getting rid of Sam last night."
"Oh get over it," Chris remarked, rolling his eyes. "He did the crime, so he paid the price. Besides, I did you a favor. That guy was way below your league."
"Says who?" Dakota glared at him, putting a hand on her hip. "I like him. He was the only person on this stupid island that was interested in talking to me, and he said he was being framed. You could have checked his story, at least."
"I'm not reversing his elimination. He got shot out of the cannon, so he's out of this game. Now go make yourself useful and reverse whatever you did to my shirts!" Chris yanked them off their hangers and threw them at her.
Huffing, Dakota walked away from him, arms loaded with clothes.
(Confessional- Dakota)
"It might seem petty to mess with Chris's laundry, but in the little time I've known Sam, he didn't seem like the stealing type. I would check the footage of yesterday, but ever since Sugar got exposed last season thanks to the contestants having easy access to the editing room, the production crew has hidden that pretty well this time." Dakota sighed, clearly upset at being unable to find evidence. Looking at the camera again, she added, "So glad Daddy's deal with Chris keeps me immune from being fired, otherwise I wouldn't have had the guts to do that."
The members of Team Kinosewak sat around in a circle at their campsite while Brick and Mike passed around that morning's breakfast.
"The merge is ours!" Jo cheered, peeling a banana and popping the whole thing in her mouth. "Wow, even when we lose, we still win."
"Isn't it a little early to be celebrating the merge?" Mike asked, biting into a slice of watermelon that Zoey handed him.
"Not necessarily," Cameron spoke up, receiving a slice of watermelon from Zoey as well. "We're down to seven people, and in the last two seasons, Chris has announced the merge at six people and eight people, respectively. It would be quite accurate to predict the merge around this time."
"I feel really bad for the Bears," Zoey said, taking some watermelon for herself. "We have five people left, and they only have two."
Biting the pointed end of a carrot, Brick added, "When you bring that up, the war between our teams seems really lopsided."
(Confessional- Brick)
"I know that life and war is never fair," the cadet said, "but this is a game. I personally believe some fairness should be included in this case, especially when the sides are so uneven." Raising a hand, he qualified the statement, "But, this is Total Drama, and that's never really been fair since the beginning."
Over at Team Maskwak's campsite, it was very quiet. Dawn was quite content with eating the fruits and vegetables she collected while foraging, and Scott appeared to be still eating the candied fish tails from their last reward.
"So glad we still had some of these leftovers from last night," Scott said casually, popping one in his mouth. "Don't know why Sam turned these down after trying one. They're delicious."
Dawn scowled in his direction. "You have no right to speak of Sam."
Scott paused in eating his next fish tail, and glanced over at her. "What's itching your sweater?"
"Don't bother trying to misdirect me," Dawn warned him, twisting around so her body was facing him. "I know you had something to do with Sam's unjust exit. Try and look casual as much as you want, but I can see the smugness radiating through your aura."
Setting the fish tails aside, Scott frowned at her with both hands on his knees. "Gee, maybe I'm smug because we finally shook off that pathetic losing streak we had going. Anyone would be entitled to gloating after that."
"Just stop. We both know that's not why you're happy."
Rolling his eyes, Scott picked up the bag of candied fish tails again. "Believe what you want to believe, fairy princess. I'm celebrating the win, and that's all there is to it."
(Confessional- Scott)
"I really need to get rid of her," the devious guy said, eating the fish tails in the outhouse. "If she exposes my strategy to win the game, I can kiss that million dollars goodbye." Reaching in the bag for another fish tail, his annoyance grew as he noticed he had emptied the bag. "Out already? What a rip-off!"
(Confessional- Dawn)
"I don't know how Chris's belongings got into Sam's pockets, but I know that Sam didn't put them there himself," declared Dawn. "As soon as I get evidence, I'm going to expose Scott for the thief he is."
Scott and Dawn continued to stare at each other harshly until the air horn was sounded over the loudspeakers, and both looked up at the noise.
"Good morning, contestants!" Chris greeted cheerfully. "It's time to get rolling! Hahaha, that will make sense in a minute."
A flash forward had Chris meeting the contestants in a different location compared to the usual meeting spot. A few chuckled at Chris's pink shirt, but otherwise kept their comments to themselves upon seeing the host's frown.
"Listen up, everyone! Today's challenge is simple," Chris informed the teens, to their relief. "Simple and deadly." Groans went up as the contestants figured they would never get an easy break. "You'll all be racing across the island in these turbo orbs." The host gestured to two giant spheres, one being the giant green one Sam had seen Dakota roll yesterday, and a red one.
Walking over to Chef and the orbs, Chris continued to explain, "Each team will cram into one turbo orb, and run like a hamster in a wheel. First team to the other side of the island wins immunity. Everybody in!"
"Wow, having a small team benefitted us for once," Scott dryly remarked as he and Dawn got into the red orb while the Floating Salmon got into the green one.
"If one of you shoves your elbow in my face, I'm shoving your foot up your butt," Jo threatened to her teammates.
There was a gasp, and Chester could be heard complaining, "Back in my day, we could fit a family of twelve in something this small."
"Sorry!" Zoey apologized, shuffling for room.
All but Brick got into the orbs, and the host and his co-worker noticed. Chris walked over to Brick. The cadet was trembling in his boots.
"Brick, hello?" Chris inquired. "Your drill sergeant gave you a direct order."
"Uh, y-yes sir," Brick shakily saluted him. "I'm g-getting into that b-ball. Th-that d-dark, w-w-windowless b-b-ball." He managed to get a few steps closer to the orbs before he crouched down into a fetal position. Rocking back and forth on his heels, he whimpered like a frightened puppy.
(Confessional- Brick)
"Ever since I was born, I hated the dark," the cadet confessed. "With the creaks, the 'who's that?', and the 'get away!'. As a student in cadet school, it's really embarrassing."
(Confessional- Jo)
"He's scared of the dark?" Jo raised an eyebrow. Folding her arms over her chest, she rolled her eyes. "The only way Damsel in the Dark could get even more pathetic is if he wore diapers longer than Pencil Neck."
"O-Okay, Brick, you can-can do this," Brick tried to stand upright and bold. "It's just a b-ball that will close y-you into total d-d-darkness." He made it a few more steps before resuming his fetal position.
"Uh huh," Chris observed Brick's reactions with part amusement and part annoyance, wanting to get the challenge started. "You know what else is dark? A cannon. At night."
Brick continued to rock back and forth, his teeth chattering uncontrollably.
"Okay, bad cop didn't work. Time for good cop," Chris switched tracks. Walking over to Brick, he crouched down beside him. "Brick, buddy, I didn't know you had this phobia. Now that I do, I realize this challenge is harder for you than anyone else, and that's unfair."
The words seemed to get through to Brick, who smiled back warmly.
Seeing Brick smile, Chris looked over to Chef. "Chef, toss him in!" Brick let out a gasp as Chef grabbed him by the sleeve, and threw him into the green orb with the rest of his team. Chris shut the orb behind the cadet.
Standing at the opening of the red orb, Dawn pointed out, "You've probably just exacerbated his fear of the dark by doing that."
"Oh no," Chris drawled, not caring as he closed the red orb in her face. The host put his hands on the orb while Chef put his on the green one. "You might feel a slight drop! Ready, set, go!"
Moments after Chris and Chef pushed the spheres in the direction they desired, the contestants began screaming inside as they rolled towards a chasm not noticed before. The orbs dropped down the chasm, bouncing off several ledges on the way down and causing the campers to yell even more, Brick's screams especially shrill compared to the rest. Eventually the orbs landed at the bottom of the chasm, all scratched up.
Scott fell out of the red orb first, followed by a slightly dazed Dawn. Both campers grunted from the impact.
Opening his eyes, Scott noticed Dawn was laying on top of him. He smirked wryly, "You know, if you've had a crush on me this whole time, you could've just said so."
Scowling at him, Dawn pushed herself off him. "I'd never be romantically interested in someone with a soul as dark as yours."
Sitting up, Scott retorted, "Oh yeah, I forgot. Your type is big and brainy. Say, did you and Silent Treatment hook up before he left?"
Dawn huffed and turned away from her only teammate.
(Confessional- Dawn)
"I'm aware of what he is attempting to do, but I won't let him get to me," Dawn said seriously.
The hatch on the green orb opened, and Cameron, Mike, and Zoey climbed out, slightly less disoriented than their opponents.
"I'd say that qualified as more than a slight drop," Cameron noted, leaning on Mike for support.
Jo climbed out next, leaving Brick to rock in his fetal position inside the orb. "Oh, look at that. We're at the b-bottom of a de-de-deep, da-dark c-c-cave," Brick stuttered, trying to sound sarcastic but failing.
Putting her hands on her hips, Jo glanced around irritably. "Where's McLiar? I'd like to pound him a good one for pulling a stunt like this."
"I knew you would, Jo."
The contestants all turned and looked up at a giant screen hung above a tunnel entrance. Chris was on the screen, smiling as if he hadn't just pushed them down a chasm in giant spheres.
"So, the real challenge is getting out of this cave," Chris explained.
Zoey raised a hand. "Why bother with the bogus challenge?"
"If I had said I wanted to cram you into giant balls and drop you 140 feet into a cave, you all would've moaned and whined… this was easier."
"Meh, my Pappy would've probably done the same," Scott admitted, not too upset about the host's deception.
"Moving on," Chris continued with the true challenge explanation, "there are two bags of supplies somewhere behind you."
Jo and Dawn located the two similarly colored bags, and inspected their contents. In Dawn's bag, she found a coil of rope, helmets, and some night vision goggles.
"Rock climbing gear and night vision goggles. The gear could be useful, but I trust my night vision enough to not need the goggles," Dawn said, carrying the gear back to her team.
Jo pulled out the items she found in her bag. "Kitty litter? A Beardo beatboxing CD? And some soy sauce packets? How is any of this supposed to help us get out of the cave?"
Zoey's eyes lit up at Jo's findings, and raised her hand again. "Ooh! I'll take the Beardo CD if you don't want it." She caught it when Jo chucked it her way, and noticed her teammates giving her looks. Sheepishly, she explained, "What? His work is still considered indie."
"One bag might be more helpful than the other," Chris answered. "Now, if you look around, you'll see a bunch of tunnels." As Chris explained, the camera panned across a series of tunnel entrances surrounding the campers. "They all lead to a single exit on the surface where the finish line is. But, some will get you there safer or faster than others. First team across the finish line wins. One more thing, according to Cree legend, no one who has gone in has ever come out."
Both teams gasped at the last part.
"But hey, I thought the fall would kill you so congrats on surviving that," Chris added at the end. "Your challenge starts… now!" He raised his air horn and sounded it, causing the cave the campers were in to shake and rocks to start falling.
Mike stared at the different tunnels they could choose from. "So, we need to figure out which tunnel will get us out fastest?" He glanced back at his team for confirmation.
Cameron raised a finger. "Fastest would be preferable," he said as he examined the pit they were in. "This pit appears to be structurally unstable."
Brick, who had been rocking himself back and forth in the orb's door, became very panicked at Cameron's comment. "We're trapped in a dark and unstable pit! Aaaaahhhhh!" He ran over to a wall and pounded on it in terror. "We're going to die in the dark!" His pounding caused several chunks of rubble to fall around the campers.
Shooting Brick an annoyed look, Jo quipped, "Oh yeah, if you keep punching and screaming like that, we're definitely going to die."
Dawn stared at Brick in concern, and then noticed Scott thinking with a sinister grin on his face. She scowled heavily at him. "Scott, don't you dare-!"
Ignoring Dawn and putting on a frightened expression, Scott shouted, "Everybody, duck! It's a cave-in!"
The rubble began falling once more at Scott's yell.
"Take cover!" Zoey hollered, running with Cameron and Mike away from the center of the pit.
Jo frowned at Zoey. "Hey! I'm the one who gives the orders around here!" Without arguing it further, she regardless followed her teammates. A scant few seconds after she moved from her spot, dozens of large boulders fell where she had previously stood.
Dawn ran over to the left of the pit with the bag of equipment in hand, stopping before a pair of tunnel entrances. She squinted at them both. "Something's wrong here," she said loudly, "I should be able to tell which tunnel has less negative energy, but I can't sense anything!"
"It's a cave-in; it's all negative energy! Now keep moving!" Scott came up behind her, and shoved her into a tunnel. A large boulder fell in front of the tunnel, sealing it off.
"Which tunnel do we take?" Cameron asked, huddled with his team in an area of the pit that hadn't been crushed by boulders yet. "We don't have time to check their stability."
Brick happened to look down a tunnel and pointed at it. "I see light in this one. Let's take it; the other ones are probably darker!"
Unable to argue the point and no time to do so anyway, the Floating Salmon hurried into the tunnel as the rest of the pit filled with rocks.
The cameras in the pit went dark as boulders and dirt covered them, unintentionally providing a seamless transition to the Salmon safely inside their tunnel. They all coughed as they rose to their feet. Jo was first up, and then Mike.
"Everybody okay? Zoey?" Mike offered his hand to his crush.
"I'm fine," Zoey replied as she took the hand and stood.
Cameron stood, wiping dirt off his hoodie and happened to look up as he did so. His eyes went wide. "Um, guys? We might want to stay quiet." When Mike and Zoey turned to inquire, he merely pointed at the ceiling. They followed his finger and gasped sharply.
Brick groaned, recovering from the cave-in. Sitting upright, the last few minutes registered in his mind, and he began to panic. "Oh no! We're trapped in a dark cave! Agh, so dark!" He curled into a fetal position once more, beginning to rock in place.
Unfortunately, Brick's panicking was loud enough to disturb what Cameron had noticed. Living on the ceiling of the cave was a colony of bats. Everyone shrieked and ducked down while the bats flew over their heads.
(Confessional- Brick)
"Today has not been my best day," the cadet admitted. "I don't usually have this much of a problem during night training at military school, but that's only because it's familiar terrain. Here on the island, I have no idea what I'm going to find!"
Once the bats had cleared, and shown them a way out without realizing it, the team entered the next portion of the cave. As it turned out, the tunnel was populated by glow slugs.
Cameron's eyes lit up with fascination. "Wow! Glow slugs! They must've been the light Brick saw."
Zoey glanced around, a small smile on her face. "They're like slow, wingless fireflies. Neat!"
At the front of the group, Jo spun around on her heel. "Alright, enough sightseeing. Spikey Mikey, your Manitoba guy knows all about caves, right?"
Mike nodded. "Most likely. He's an explorer."
"Do you have his hat? We could use his skills in getting us out of here," Jo said.
"Got it right here." Mike pulled out the hat and put it on. A gasp signaled Mike's shift into Manitoba.
"G'day, mates," he tipped his hat to the team and began examining his surroundings. "I take it this ain't your ordinary mining expedition."
"Sorry but no. We have to find our way through the caves in order to find the finish line. Can you help?" Zoey asked.
Manitoba smirked at her. "You kidding? That's like asking a baby if it can crawl. We'll be out of here in seven minutes tops." Striding past Zoey and the rest of the team, he took point. "Follow me!"
Meanwhile in another tunnel, it was pitch black.
"Ugh, can't even see a thing down here! Was there a stupid flashlight in that bag you grabbed?" Scott could be heard asking. "Agh! What're you doing?"
"Hold still! I'm trying to help you with the night vision goggles," Dawn replied sternly. Without warning, Dawn was suddenly onscreen in green-tinted video and stepping away from Scott. "There. Now can you see?"
"Yeah… hey, wait a minute! Why aren't you wearing yours?"
Dawn shrugged. "I said my night vision was excellent. I spend a lot of time with nocturnal creatures back home, so I have an idea of how they can see the world."
Scott was quiet for a moment. "You keep getting weirder and weirder."
"I get that a lot, but it doesn't bother me. The world would be a much better place if we all accepted each other's weirdness more. Anyway, I suggest we keep moving. We're not getting back out the way we came." Dawn pointed with her thumb, and Scott glanced over at the entrance they used, which was sealed up by at least a dozen medium-sized boulders.
"Great…" Scott grumbled. "I bet Chris is really enjoying our misery right now."
Outside the tunnels by the finish line, Chris was reclining in a lawn chair as he watched the live feed on the rolling monitor. Chef sat beside him, reading a book.
"Ah," the host sighed contently. "I'm really enjoying the contestants' misery. There's something missing though. You know what's missing, Chef?"
Chef looked up from his book. "A couple of hot women who want to date us?"
"Those too, but no." Chris shook his head. "Coffee! Dakota!"
Dakota stomped onto the scene, holding a tray that carried two coffees. "I'm coming, I'm coming. Keep your hair gel on." She stopped by the men and lowered the tray down to their level. They took their drinks and swallowed a long first swig.
"Ah, you're right," Chef agreed with his friend, lowering his drink from his lips. "A nice, scalding hot beverage is the perfect complement to misery of teenagers."
"Told you," Chris said smugly, taking a second swig.
"I'm going to go do some other dumb intern job now," Dakota said before walking away with the empty tray.
(Confessional- Dakota)
"And by that, I mean sit back and watch The Chris and Chef Get Embarrassed Show," Dakota clarified, a sneaky grin on her face. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small shaker. "I put laxatives in their coffee before I brought it to them. They'll be running for the nearest bathroom in minutes, and since we're on an island, they'll have to whiz in the woods without any toilet paper!" Giggling to herself, she added, "This is just like getting rid of nanny number twenty-eight when I was little!"
Back with the Floating Salmon, Manitoba was leading them into a new area of the tunnel. Zoey and Cameron followed, and Brick and Jo brought up the rear.
"Couldn't we stay in the glow slug cave until help arrives?" Brick whimpered, looking back to the other room longingly. "It's much brighter in there."
"No can do," Jo refused, pulling him along by the arm. "Getting through these things are part of the challenge. We need to keep moving."
Manitoba stopped walking, forcing the rest of the team to do the same. "Wait a tick. Something's off."
Zoey looked at him, an eyebrow raised. "What's the matter?"
"This cave… it doesn't feel right, like its unnatural," he answered.
"Really? What do you mean?" Zoey inquired further.
Cameron glanced around. "I think he might be right. Look at the stalactites on the ceiling." The camera panned to the ceiling above them. Stalactites indeed hung from the ceiling.
"What's wrong with them, Pencil Neck?" Jo demanded, clearly not in the mood for stopping to play cave explorer.
Manitoba shot Cameron a finger pistol. "Good eye, small fry. There aren't any water deposits on the floor," he gestured to the cave floor ahead. "Usually where there are stalactites, there's water."
Jo rolled her eyes. "Big deal, and I suppose there usually aren't giant TV screens on the walls either?" She pointed to a TV mounted on a wall within the room.
The TV flickered on, showing Chris sitting outside. The host waved in greeting. "Hey, guys! Welcome to the Spider's Arena!"
Cameron swallowed audibly. "S-spider?"
(Confessional- Cameron)
"I'm terrified of spiders. A thing with that many eyes and legs has to be evil," the bubble boy said. A tiny spider dropped down from the outhouse's ceiling on its silk, and he yelped, flinching away from the arachnid.
"If you want to advance to the next part of the tunnel, you have to defeat a giant spider that resides in this particular cave," Chris informed the team.
Jo scoffed. "Giant spider? Yeah, right. It's probably just that nutcase from the first three seasons in the stupid spider costume again." The rest of the team, except Manitoba, remembered what she was talking about and that seemed to ease their concerns.
"Actually," Chris drawled, causing the campers' relief to disappear once more. "We found a real giant spider while cleaning up Camp Wawanakwa. Since the real deal is better than somebody in a costume, we brought it here." He smiled brightly like he had a great idea. The team gasped. "Have fun, and remember the whole team has to cross the finish line, so don't lose any body parts!" He cut the connection, making the screen go blank.
As if on cue, a humungous spider emerged between the stalactites. While Manitoba didn't appear frightened at all, the rest of the team screamed at the sight of the arachnid.
Everything froze as a pause symbol appeared over the center of the footage. The camera pulled back to show Chris at the finish line. "Things are getting good! Stay tuned to find out who gets buried, and who comes out on top here on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!"
The show faded to black on the usual far glimpse of the island.
When the show faded back in, the Floating Salmon were backing away from the slowly, creepily descending spider.
"T-team, I h-heavily recommend we make a re-retreat!" Brick stammered, nearly stepping back into the other cave.
Manitoba stepped forward with a grin on his face. "No need, mate. I've tangled with beasts bigger than this bugger." Pushing up sleeves on his arms that weren't there, he leaped at the spider. Landing on the spider's abdomen, he began bashings his fists on it.
(Confessional- Mike)
"Manitoba has fought a lot of wild animals while controlling my body," Mike said, the fedora not on his head and holding up his fingers to count. "Moose, snakes, that sort of a thing. That said, a giant spider is a new one even for me."
Manitoba's scuffle with the spider had them swinging around the cave ceiling, slamming into stalactites and causing them to fall.
Seeing this, Jo addressed her team, "We should hurry and move to the next room, before Fistatoba Myth brings the whole thing down and blocks our exit."
"Agreed. I do not like the idea of being spider food," Cameron remarked.
The rest of the team ran through the cave to the next area, Zoey taking Brick's hand and guiding him.
A flash transition switched the focus over to Dawn and Scott, the latter walking ahead of the former. While Scott appeared focused on finding a way out, Dawn kept looking around as if she was trying to find some sort of clue.
"I'm telling you, Scott. I believe there's something strange about this island," Dawn spoke up, breaking away from her examination of the tunnel. "Wherever I go, I'm usually able to sense the life in the ground, but I'm not detecting anything down here. That isn't normal!"
"You know what else isn't normal? Talking about being able to do that stuff in the first place!" Scott shot back, glancing at his teammate over his shoulder.
Dawn stopped in her tracks and put her hands on her hips, scowling at him. "Why do you insist on being so rude to people? I'm aware that you weren't held enough as a child, but that doesn't explain or excuse why you want to see the world burn."
"It's fun, that's why." Scott spun around to look at her through his goggles. "It's hilarious to see how people react when you piss someone off or get someone else in trouble."
"I like the way you think, Scott." The pair glanced further down the tunnel and found a TV monitor with Chris speaking to them through it. "You've just reached the Leap of Faith."
Dawn and Scott approached the monitor and arrived at a cliff with a foggy abyss beneath it.
"Even with the night vision goggles, you can't see the bottom," Chris said, causing Scott to remove his goggles. "You've got to have faith and just jump in. It leads to the way out, or sharks. I honestly can't remember. Either way, you can't go back the way you came." Pulling out a detonator, he pressed the button.
Dawn and Scott went wide-eyed when an explosion went off behind them, sealing off the tunnel they had just passed through.
"Good luck!" With those final words, Chris ended the connection and the monitor went black.
Scott gulped, staring down into the abyss. "Well, I guess there's only one way to go, and it's down."
Dawn smirked briefly at him. "Funny you should say that, considering that's the only direction that will be available to you in the afterlife."
Understanding her retort, the devious guy rolled his eyes. "Haha, walked into that one. You know what else is funny? This!" Before Dawn could blink, he shoved her off the cliff into the abyss. She let out a scream as she fell into the fog. Scott chuckled to himself. "See? Fun, right? Dawn?" Hearing nothing, he frowned. "Dawn? You alive down there?"
"Thankfully, yes." Her soft voice drifted up to him. "Now get down here! I have a bird I'd like to show you."
Scott raised an eyebrow. "A bird? What would a bird be doing-?" He trailed off when he realized what she may have been talking about. Rolling his eyes, he drawled, "Haha, I got that one too." He jumped off the ledge with a scream, disappearing into the fog.
After a moment, the camera panned down beneath the cliff, showing that Dawn and Scott hadn't fallen very far.
"What the heck? We didn't even jump down that far!" Scott complained, sitting on his butt and rubbing it.
Dawn shrugged, standing beside her fallen teammate. "Chris must've decided to use the fog as an optical illusion and take advantage of our fears of the unknown."
Huffing, Scott crossed his arms over his chest. "I think I would've preferred sharks over something as disappointing as this."
Back with the Floating Salmon, Zoey was standing in the exit of the Spider's Arena cave. She cupped a hand to her mouth. "Manitoba, we're through. You can stop now!"
"Really? That's a shame because I was kinda having fun," Manitoba called over from where he was tying the spider's six legs together with its own silk while it laid on its back.
"Yeah, I was having fun too!" A feminine voice added.
Manitoba paused, glancing down at the spider. "Uh, did the bug just talk?"
Zoey blinked in confusion as the rest of the team poked their heads back into the cave to see what was happening.
The team experienced a shock when the spider's head popped off, revealing a certain green-eyed redhead.
"Hiya, newbies!" Izzy greeted. "Cool spider costume, right?"
Jo jabbed a finger in Izzy's direction triumphantly. "I knew it! McCheap was too lazy to come up with a new trap and decided to use an old one!"
"Oh yeah, you should've heard him," Izzy rambled, getting out of the costume. She slouched over like an aging man in his late forties. "Chef, coming up with new obstacles for the kids is so hard! I don't want to think about this anymore!" She took up a more straightened posture and a serious expression. "Then just use stuff from some old challenges, it's all stored at the old film lot for this kind of problem."
"Uh, didn't the film lot sink with the island?" Zoey inquired, raising a finger.
Cameron glanced at the indie chick. "I thought the film lot was an entirely separate place."
Izzy waved a dismissive hand. "Who knows? Not even us classic guys know for sure. Anyway, have you guys tried out the elevator on this island? Real classy, I tell you."
Brick's unibrow shot up in confusion. "An elevator?"
Izzy immediately covered her mouth with a hand. "Shoot! Did I say elevator? Uh, I meant to say… alligator! Yeah, real purebred that one. Okay, nice meeting you newbies! We'll talk initiation later. Kay? Bye!" Pulling out a smoke bomb, she threw it at the ground and disappeared in a puff of smoke.
Manitoba walked over to where she previously stood and took a close look at the ground. "Crikey, she really did vanish into thin air."
"What do you think she meant by elevator?" Brick wondered.
"Who cares? She's gone. Let's keep moving!" Jo barked out, motioning for the team to follow her to the next area. They did so, with Manitoba sending one last look to the spider costume before exiting.
(Confessional- Izzy)
"The new kids are so cool!" The wild child exclaimed, standing in the outhouse. "The guy that wrestled with me? He has like, six people in his head. How cool is that? Then there's the girl with a flower in her hair, the kid with the glasses who almost looks too young to be on the show, the guy that reminds me of Eva, and-!"
There was a loud pounding noise on the side of the outhouse.
"Izzy, get out of there!" Chef commanded. "You're not on this season!"
Izzy glared at the offending wall. "You're not my dad, Chef!"
The Floating Salmon entered the next cave, oohing and awing over the pink crystals decorating it and giving the room a pink tinted light.
Once the whole team was in the cave, the monitor on the wall turned on to show Chris. "Welcome to the Gem Cave," the host said, "this ruby ravine is home to a bear, but not just any bear, the Bling Bear!"
Brick gulped nervously. "Bling B-Bear?"
Jo snorted in disbelief. "Five bucks says it's just Scuba Bear with accessories."
Ignoring Jo's comment, Chris continued to explain, "Trust me, you don't want to make him mad. Just walk through here without stealing a gem, and you'll be okay."
Cameron smiled up at his teammates. "Sounds easy enough, right?"
The whole team flinched at the sound of a bear's roar.
"And you fail," Chris commented, smiling. "Wow, that was fast."
The path they had just come through busted open and none other than Scuba Bear entered, wearing a gold chained necklaces, gold rings, and golden teeth.
(Confessional- Jo)
The jockette pumped a fist. "Called it! Too bad nobody took me up on my bet."
(Confessional- Zoey)
"I don't understand. I didn't see anybody grab a gem," Zoey said, scratching her head. She thought for a moment, then facepalmed. "Manitoba…"
(Confessional- Mike)
The hopeless romantic was holding a pink crystal from the cave and looking at it with fascination. "Cool gem. Think Zoey would like it?" For a brief moment, he looked confused. "Where'd Manitoba get this anyway?"
The team recoiled at Scuba Bear's, or rather Bling Bear's now, threatening roar.
"Uh, Spider Wrangler, you want to do your thing?" Jo cautiously asked the hatted team member.
Manitoba shot her an incredulous look. "You nuts? Even I know that the smart thing to do is run!"
At his shout, the team ran for the exit with Bling Bear hot on their heels.
Back with the Confused Bears, they were walking through the tunnel with Dawn taking point. Scott slogged behind her.
"Ugh, this is taking forever," Scott complained, "how much longer until we reach the next cave?"
Dawn stopped to answer his question. "I'm not sure, but look!" She pointed down an even narrower tunnel. "I'm getting a sense from this tunnel here. A good one. I have a hunch that if we follow it, we'll find a way out."
"So, your bright idea is to stray from the path to go on a tighter one just because you're convinced it'll lead to the finish line?" Scott clarified with a raised eyebrow.
"You can keep going this way if you want," Dawn said, gesturing to the path they were already on, "but I don't want to hear you complaining if I get there long before you do." Turning her back to him, she slipped into the new tunnel, scooting in until she was out of sight.
Scott groaned. "I'm probably going to regret this." Reluctantly, he followed his teammate.
At the finish line, Chris and Chef were still in their lawn chairs, rewatching the feed of Dawn and Scott at the Leap of Faith. Both men were chuckling as Scott cruelly shoved Dawn over the cliff.
"Oh man," Chris said as he wiped a tear from his eye, "I can't wait for them to get to the next cave. It's rigged with one of the old stink bombs from the spy movie challenge, and the only way to get out is- urk!" He suddenly sat upright and clutched at his stomach. "I feel like a bomb is going off in my stomach."
Chef also sat upright, grabbing his gut. "Oof, I feel that…" His stomach gurgled ominously. "And the blast only has one exit!" He bolted out of his chair and ran out of frame.
"Hey! I'm the host, I get first dibs!" Chris jumped from his own chair and followed his friend and coworker.
The two men ran past some bushes, and after they were out of sight, the bushes shuffled until Dakota popped her head out of the foliage.
"Yes! It worked!" The heiress beamed with glee, stepping out from the bushes. "I'd like to see Chris try and fire me for that." Walking over to the lawn chairs and the monitor, she sat down in Chris's chair and picked up a previously unseen clipboard. "Now, let's see if I can get the others through this dumb challenge." Picking up Chris's abandoned remote, she switched feeds.
(Confessional- Dakota)
"Do I feel bad for messing with Chris and Chef? A little," she admitted thoughtfully. "But they've gone without a little payback for too long. Plus, TV personalities who cause trouble always get a spin-off series. Fingers crossed this earns me mine!" Smiling at the camera, she crossed her fingers hopefully.
The Floating Salmon ran through the tunnel, Bling Bear roaring behind them. They came to a pool of water that ended their path.
"We've got to swim?" Zoey asked, glancing at her teammates for confirmation.
"Seems like it's our only choice," Jo answered unhelpfully. She counted heads quickly. "Wait, where's Brick?"
Cameron, who was piggyback riding Manitoba due to his short stature, stared at her in horror. "I thought you were guiding him."
"Agh, it's dark!" Brick could be heard screaming behind them. "It's so much darker than before! Aaahhh!"
The team had just turned to comfort Brick when he slammed into them all, sending them into the water.
Bling Bear stopped at the water's edge, roaring threats at the teens. Abruptly, it stopped and sniffed at the air. The bear frowned and waved a paw in a 'forget about it' motion, turning around to return to the Gem Cave.
"It's not following us? Weird," Cameron commented as he treaded water with Manitoba's help.
Jo scoffed. "I guess he's too much of a sissy to get his bling wet." She sniffed the air and made a face. "Hey, did anybody fart?"
"No," Brick said shakily, "but now that you mention it, it does stink around here."
"Look alive, mates." Manitoba got the athletic pair's attention. He was pointing to a stream that fed into the pool they were treading. "A stream. That should lead us up to the surface."
A flash cut a few minutes later had the team climbing up towards a hole that had light shining above it.
"Ugh, I've never seen so much mud underground," Zoey could be heard saying.
"Could someone help me? I keep slipping!" Cameron pleaded.
"Light! I see light!" Brick said, his fear slipping away. "No more dark!"
Jo climbed into view, brown stains all over her track clothes. Manitoba and Brick's heads could be seen just below her.
"Finally!" Jo remarked. "Someone give me a boost!"
The scene cut to the outhouse confessional, where the door flung open and the Floating Salmon ran out screaming. In addition to the brown stains, all their clothes now had a greenish tint.
"The toilet! We came out through the toilet!" Zoey exclaimed incredulously.
"That explains the smell," Jo said, waving a hand in front of her face. "Man, how did we not notice that?"
Cameron glanced at Brick. "You okay, Brick?"
Brick, apparently not caring for how they got out of the tunnels, was kissing the ground. "I'm never going underground again!"
Manitoba, as the group's exploration expert, was the last to exit the outhouse. "So, now what do we do?"
A flash switched the focus over to the Confused Bears, who were now crawling through a tunnel that appeared to be veering up to the surface on their hands and knees.
Dawn was still ahead of Scott, leading the way.
"Ugh, how'd we go from a cramped tunnel to an even more cramped tunnel?" he complained.
"I don't see why you're complaining," Dawn shot back, "we're climbing up so we must be getting closer to the surface."
"I'm just saying there has to be an easier way to the finish line than shimmying like this," he replied before stopping his crawling since Dawn had done the same. "Why'd we stop?"
Dawn had a grin on her face. "Now I know why I was sensing positive energy from this tunnel. Look!" She pointed ahead, and Scott attempted to look over her head.
A few feet away from them was a group of gophers.
"They must've been the creatures who dug this tunnel," Dawn said to her teammate.
Scott rolled his eyes. "And this matters because?"
"Excuse us, little gophers," Dawn started to speak with the gophers. They had been hostile when Dawn and Scott first appeared, but the moonchild's soft voice seemed to put them at ease. "We don't mean to trespass, but we're lost. Could you help us return to the surface, please?"
The gophers stared at one another and began to chitter amongst themselves.
Another flash transition returned the focus to the finish line, where Dakota was having difficulties with the monitor. Clearly aggravated, she pushed buttons on the remote furiously.
"Ugh, why won't this stupid TV show me anything?" she demanded before finally tossing the remote on the ground. "I can't be a host to the others if I can't talk to them." Hearing an odd scraping noise, the heiress stared at the ground nearby as it appeared to be shifting.
A bunch of gophers tore open the ground, and Dakota recoiled in fright at the sight of the wild animals. Curling her legs against herself, she watched as Dawn and Scott emerged from underground.
"We made it!" Dawn said elatedly, crouching down to address the gophers. "Thank you, friends! Your help is much appreciated."
One of the gophers chittered at her, giving her a kind of salute with one paw, and the group scampered back down into the tunnel.
Scott was the first to notice Dakota. "Uh, where's Chris?"
"Bathroom emergency," Dakota answered, uncurling once the gophers were gone. "What'd you guys do?"
"You don't want to know what we did," Jo quipped off to the side. Dakota and the Confused Bears all cringed when they noticed an awful smell coming from the approaching Floating Salmon.
"We thought we were following a stream out of the tunnels," Cameron spoke up, shuddering. "What we were actually following was much worse."
"What is going on here?" Chris was heard shouting. The campers all turned to see Chris and Chef returning from their urgent situation. "Why does the finish line look like it hasn't been crossed, and why do half you reek?"
Dakota rubbed the back of her neck. "Well, Dawn and Scott came out of that tunnel over there." She pointed to the gopher tunnel, and then to the Floating Salmon. "And those guys came from that way."
"But we got here first," Scott butted in, getting a stink eye from Dawn. "So that means we win, right?"
"What? No!" Chris scowled at the freckled redhead. "Look, none of you won! I said the first team to cross the finish line, and none of you did! You skipped dozens of awesome challenges. We don't even have enough footage for an episode! You're all disqualified; this whole episode is a bust!"
Everyone went silent for a moment to process the host's rant, and then once everyone came to the same conclusion, the campers cheered.
"See? What'd I say this morning?" Jo said to her team with a cocky smirk. "Even when we lose, we still win."
"Oh no," Chris interrupted, making Jo and her team falter. "No no, there will be an elimination." He chuckled evilly while the campers all looked on uncertainly.
The show faded out from the challenge's aftermath and faded back into the elimination ceremony. Both teams were in attendance like in the previous episode, but both teams were sitting this time. The Confused Bears took the leftmost seats while the Floating Salmon sat on the rightmost. Manitoba's hat was gone, returning control of Mike's body to its original mind.
"As you can see," Chris began to say while he stood before both teams. "I had a special reward planned. Darwin's All You Can Eat Food Safari!" He gestured to the side of the elimination area, where Chef and Dakota stood next to a buffet on a table. The buffet mostly consisted of meats such as steak, chicken, and sausages with a side of fruits such as watermelon, pineapple, and bananas.
Dakota looked at the buffet with interest. "Darwin's Food Safari? I think that Sugar girl from last season did a commercial for them!" Recalling the commercial, she winced. "She wasn't that good, to be honest. I would've done a better job."
Chris sounded his air horn to shut her up. "Tonight's elimination will be… this dinner. Chef?"
Chef poured gasoline over the buffet table and struck a match. Dakota wisely sprinted over to where the other teens were sitting the moment he tossed the match onto the table. Almost immediately, the table combusted, and Chef got a healthy coating of ash all over his body. The teams groaned at the loss of a decent meal.
"Now, I have a serious matter to discuss," Chris said sternly. "I feel like everyone's gotten too comfortable, what with Team Maskwak's losing streak and Team Kinosewak not having to vote someone off. That changes tonight."
(Confessional- Scott)
"A team swap, eh?" The devious guy said thoughtfully, attempting to carve something into the outhouse wall with his shark tooth. "Depending how that goes, it could totally screw up my game."
(Confessional- Jo)
The jockette huffed, arms crossed as she sat in the outhouse. "I should've kept my big mouth shut."
"So without further ado," Chris continued to say, "it's pretty clear there are some strong connections on Team Kinosewak and at least one of them needs to be broken up."
The Floating Salmon gasped, Brick glancing at Jo while Mike and Zoey exchanged looks. As the brain of the team, Cameron was staring between both pairs.
"The pair that's being broken up is…" Chris paused for dramatic effect. "Mike and Zoey!"
"Aw, seriously?" Zoey pouted indignantly.
Mike reached over and took her hand. "Hey, it's okay. We won't let being on separate teams ruin the friendship we're building, right?"
She smiled at him, reassured. "You're right. We may be competing against each other now, but that doesn't mean we can't keep being friends."
"Mike, go join Team Maskwak, and to make it a fair trade, Scott, join Team Kinosewak," said Chris.
Scott brightened at the announcement. "I get to be part of the better team? Sweet!" He stood up and gave a mocking wave to Dawn. "Smell ya later, fairy princess."
"I'd say the better team is the one without you on it," Dawn retorted in a soft but cold tone.
Mike and Scott walked past each other, and sat down where their counterparts had previously been sitting.
"There's more! To lower the chances that Team Maskwak flames out like Team Victory did," Chris added, "Dakota is rejoining her original team!"
Dakota and the rest of the teens stared at him in shock. "Really?" the heiress found herself asking.
Chris shot her an annoyed frown. "Yes, really. I'm not letting you anywhere near my laundry again, especially with my shirts still pink." He emphasized his point by gesturing to his shirt, which was still its new color. "And I can't fire you without giving your father his money back, so I'm exploiting a loophole."
"I don't have to do exhausting intern stuff anymore? Yay!" She hurried over to Dawn and Mike's side of the stump seats. Sitting on an open seat behind them, she grinned. "Isn't this great, guys? I can compete again!"
Dawn held out a hand to hers. "Glad to have you back."
(Confessional- Mike)
"I'm sad that I won't get to hang with Zoey and Cameron anymore," the hopeless romantic said with a sad expression. Then he perked up, "But hey, I'm sure everything will work out."
(Confessional- Dawn)
"Today brought good things and bad. During our challenge today, I couldn't make a connection with the island's underground. That bothers me greatly, and I hope I get the opportunity to figure out why. On a happier note, Dakota is back on my team. I can tell in her aura that she has learned a lot from her time as an intern. Those lessons should help her performance in future challenges, and help the team overall." Dawn ended her confession with a smile.
(Confessional- Dakota)
Still dressed in her intern uniform, Dakota spread out her arms grandly. "You heard it here first, Dakota fans! I'm back in the game! I'm here to stay, and if I can't figure out how to prove Sam was framed, I can at least win the game for him."
The campers, including the returned Dakota, watched from their seats as Chris did his outro. "This morning, we started out with seven. Now we're back up to eight, but I promise we'll feed that cannon some human next time. Here on Total Drama Pahkitew Island!
Sam- 9th
Lightning- 10th
B- 11th
Anne Maria- 12th
Dakota- RETURNED
Staci- 13th
Just like canon, there's no elimination this round. Sorry this took so long to get out. I had a difficult time deciding how I wanted to split things up down in the tunnels. After a while, I decided to stick with the teams instead of trying to mix them up and decided against trying to add the elevator. For the most part, I'm satisfied with how things worked out. Team Kinosewak finally experienced some bad luck for the first time since Anne Maria's departure. I still think the bit with the outhouse ranks within the series' top five disgusting moments, but it was either that or the elevator, and I didn't want to deal with the elevator.
I think this might've been my most experimental episode yet. In place of Max and Scarlett's elevator escapade, I put in a subplot for Dakota to set up her return to the game. I'm happy with it because Dakota got to serve Chris some overdue punishment and I was even able to give Chef some speaking lines, which he's been lacking in this season. Bringing in spider Izzy was a holdover from my scrapped plans when the teams were going to be split up. It also let me slip in the elevator to keep the island's mystery in the campers' minds.
I had to think about the team swap a bit. At one point, I thought about sending both Mike and Brick to join Dawn and Dakota to make the teams even at four members each, but I ultimately stayed with canon's one person switch from each team. Scott obviously had to go to Team Kinosewak to stir up trouble, and I chose Mike to swap because he and Zoey were in a more comfortable place than Brick and Jo.
Before I go, I recommend watching Infinity Train and The Owl House. Both are fantastic shows with complex stories, creative worlds, and compelling protagonists. Infinity Train especially needs the views on its streaming service HBO Max so it can be picked up for a fourth season and beyond.
Review in the box below, and remember that reviews are awesome!