DISCONTINUED - No Going Back

by ChocolateMocha0

[Discontinued. See author's note for more details.] After the memory of the Corrupted Quartz soldier begins to plague him both during the day and in his slumber, Steven decides to release Jasper in an attempt to heal and possibly redeem her.

9. Chapter VIII - Reminiscence

I don't think there's anything worth adding a spoiler alert for in this chapter other than a couple of vague, insignificant mentions, and the ending feels a bit rushed IMO, but I just wanted to get this thing finished and uploaded already. I'll probably get around to re-writing the ending later.

When Steven reached the Warp Pad, he found Garnet standing there, patiently waiting on him. He stepped upon the Warp Pad beside her and activated it without a word; he didn't hold the same enthusiasm and optimism that he'd had when they left the Crystal Temple. The ride through the warp stream was dead silent.

"Garnet?" Steven chimed in suddenly.

"Yes, Steven?"

"Can I… can I see her?"

Garnet didn't immediately react, looking down at him in slight confusion before the realization hit her. She opened her red hand and held Jasper's gem out in front of the boy who was quick to take it from her. There was a sad look in his eyes as he stared down at the gem, holding it in both hands, making sure not to lose her in the warp stream.

"Is something wrong, Steven? She'll be back soon, I promise."

"I know, but I still… I miss her, and I'm still worried about her." He blinked away tears forming in his eyes as he held her close to his chest. "I know you said that she would still remember everything, and that she wouldn't Corrupt again right away, but—but I can't help but wonder about what she's seeing in there. Back when she was fully Corrupted, she was alone except for these monsters, these… horrible versions of the Gems she hates the most, and they kept attacking her, kept… shattering her. Over and over again."

He subconsciously held Jasper's gem a little tighter.

"But she isn't fully Corrupted anymore. Her gemspace was like that because her mind was broken by her most painful memories and worst fears. But she can think clearly now, she can speak and control her own actions again. She's herself now. Jasper is going to be just fine."

"You really think so?" he squeaked.

They were dropped out of the warp-stream with a flash of blue light, the Crystal Temple materializing around them as the stream vanished.

"I know so." Garnet reassured him. They both glanced up as Pearl stood up from the couch where she'd been sitting beside Amethyst. The lavender Gem looked on in silence as Pearl strode towards them, and Garnet crossed her arms with a soft "Hm." Steven held Jasper's gem between his palms, pushing them together and hiding her from view for fear of how Pearl would react to the Quartz Gem's presence, even if it was only in gem form.

"Oh, there you two are, I was starting to get worried." Pearl said, sounding very relieved. She glanced down at Steven for a second, who forced a sheepish smile up at her, then returned her gaze back to the red Fusion, her smile disappearing. "How did it go with… Jasper?"

Garnet said nothing and glanced down at Steven. Pearl expectantly followed her gaze and Steven shrank away from their looks. He hesitated for several long seconds, then reluctantly presented the gemstone to Pearl. He was unsure of how she was going to react, but he didn't quite expect her to let out a horrified gasp and move several steps away from them, covering her mouth with both hands, a scared look in her cyan eyes.

"Is—Is that… Jasper's gem?!"

"What else would it be, P?" Amethyst remarked. "Hmph. I'm just surprised you actually got her to poof again."

"Well…" Steven began, but Garnet cut him off.

"Pearl." she said sternly, giving the Gem in question a hard stare from behind her visor. "Remember, she is not our enemy now. She's just a Gem who needs our help. Whether she wants it or not, whether you want it or not. Understood?"

"But I don't get it! After all she did to us and we're still going out of our way to take care of her?!"

"We've never turned away someone in need before, and we aren't going to start today." Garnet responded flatly.

Pearl opened her mouth to say something, but thought better of it. She glanced down at Steven, who was running his thumbs across the length of Jasper's gemstone, holding it a few inches in front of him. She cringed in disgust at the sight. It just felt so… wrongto her; Jasper was supposed to be their enemy. She pulled her gaze away from the gemstone when Steven looked at Garnet and spoke up, "So… when do you think she'll be back?"

"I can't answer that, Steven." Garnet deadpanned.

"Why not? Can't you use your future vision to…?"

"The reformation of a Gem is far too unpredictable, even for someone who can see the future. You're going to have to find out for yourself."

"Aw, what?!" Steven whined, prompting a slight smile from the Fusion. Even Pearl smirked at his reaction.

"I'm sorry, Steven. You're just going to have to be patient." With that, Garnet turned away from him and headed to the Temple Gate, activating it with her gems and entering her respective room.

Steven stared after her in confusion, then turned to look at the gem again. Maybe he could telepathically figure out when she would regenerate like he had figured out where she was in Beta? It was unlikely, he could only contact a Gem who was still regenerating in his dreams. He knew Amethyst often reformed within minutes of poofing at the least, or after a couple of hours at the most, and he wondered if all Quartzes were like that. He stared down at the gem, silently awaiting the warm sensation to enter it that signified her reformation. It never did.

Steven remembered when Pearl retreated into her gem, seemingly an eternity ago. She had taken over two weeks to come back. Speaking of Pearl, Steven looked up just in time to see her approaching him, staring at the floor with an apprehensive expression; she seemed to be deliberately avoiding Steven's dark gaze.

"Um… Steven? Can I… ask you something?"

Steven looked at her skeptically, wondering why she was asking him that question; she was normally so straightforward about these things. Regardless, he said in his usual optimistic tone of voice, "Sure, Pearl, what's up?" He couldn't help but notice she was shifting uncomfortably and kneading her hands with a nervous look in her eyes. When he noticed that she was staring at Jasper's gem, he instinctively held her off to the side instead. "Pearl, are you okay?"

"Oh! Yes, Steven, I, uh… well… um…"

"C'mon, spit it out, P!" Amethyst shouted from the sidelines. Pearl shot a harsh glare at Amethyst over her shoulder, then softened her gaze as she turned back to Steven.

"Look, it's just that… why are you so adamanton helping Jasper?" Steven cocked his head to the side in confusion at the unfamiliar word. "Oh, I—I mean… why do you want to help her? Of all the Gems in the galaxy, and you pick her! It doesn't make any sense! After all she's done to us and we're just… just taking her in like a new pet?!"

"It's not that, Pearl." Steven said, looking down at and petting Jasper's gem again. "I want to help all of these Corrupted Gems, an-and the non-Corrupted ones too. I… know we're not going to be able to convince every Gem in the galaxy to join our side, but… I'd at least like to try. Jasper just happened to be the one who comes first." He smiled coolly up at her, but Pearl wasn't returning it.

"But why… her?!" Pearl repeated, becoming increasingly frustrated. "She's one of the most dangerous Gems to come out of Homeworld, Corrupted or not!"

"But I'm making progress this time, Pearl! Can't you forget whoshe is long enough to be proud of that?"

Pearl's eyes widened slightly and she looked away, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly, before going silent altogether. Tears began to burn in the corners of Steven's eyes, a combination of anxiety and frustration rapidly building up within his heart.

"Well?!" Silence. "Say something!" The tears began to fall. Pearl tensed, but remained silent, unsure of the right words to say, so Steven went a little further. "D-Don't you trust me, Pearl? Do you… do you even care about me?!" Those words caught both Gems off-guard, Pearl throwing a hand to her mouth with a shocked gasp and Amethyst's eyes went wide in stunned shock.

"Steven…" Pearl began, still partially debating with herself on what to say. "What ever made you think…? Of course I care about you, and I trust you! That's why I'm doing this in the first place! I don't trust Jasper, she's tried to shatter us time and time again and she could've succeeded… yet you still want to take her in?! We may as well be asking her to shatter us!"

"But she's changed! I know she has!"

"Orshe's just trying to gain your trust so she can get to close to the rest of us!"

Steven's eyes widened, the realization suddenly hitting him. He hadn't thought of that, at least not until now. What if she really was trying to manipulate them? Strike as soon as the time was right: when all of them had dropped their guards? He shook off the thought. No, that couldn't be it. She had the perfect chance to attack him and Amethyst both back in her exit hole, yet she still didn't. She'd only attacked him when she became upset and frustrated, nothing more, nothing less… right?

"No… th-that's not true!" Steven said, trying to remain calm and echo his thoughts aloud to her. "She had a chance to attack me and Amethyst back in Beta! But she didn't, did she?!" Amethyst nodded in agreement even though Pearl wouldn't see it. Again, Pearl was silent for a moment, then she let out a sigh. For a moment, Steven believed he'd won this argument.

"But what if I'm right and she's just trying to catch us off-guard? Then what?!"

"But she won't!"

"You don't know that!"

Steven stomped his foot against the floor was an agitated grunt. "I don't understand! Why won't you just give her a chance?!"

"Why won't you just listen to me?! It's for your own good, Steven!" Pearl shouted, getting almost nose-to-nose with the boy. Tears began forming in her eyes as well, but she didn't seem to notice. "She needs to be bubbled away for the safety of everyone!" Amethyst shifted uncomfortably on the couch and Steven clenched his free hand into a fist as his frustration and anger rapidly increased.

"I don't need you trying to protect me everything!" he retorted with equal intensity.

"But you need to be protected from her! Why won't you just let me do this?! Why won't you let me protect you, Rose!?"

He was caught off-guard by her words and took a single step away from her. For a second, they were right there in the Ancient Sky Arena again, arguing about Connie's sword training. He began to wonder if Pearl had had a similar argument like this with Rose Quartz once upon a time.

The enraged adrenaline gradually began to drain away as Steven realized just how upset she was getting. Tears were streaming from her cyan eyes and dripping onto the floor at their feet, her whole body was trembling violently and she was breathing hard, almost hyperventilating. Pearl took a moment to regain her composure, taking a few deep breaths but making no effort to wipe away the tears.

"Just… let me help you." she choked out. "I can't lose you again, Steven… I—I just… can't."

All three of them were silent again except for Pearl's occasional sniffling. Steven ran a thumb across Jasper's gem, looking away from Pearl to stare at the gold and red stone. This time, it was his turn to be at a loss for words. He looked up at Amethyst, a silent plea for help, but she turned away, looking equally tense. He looked back down at Jasper, the light glinting off of the diamond-shaped stone. About twenty seconds of awkward silence hung over the two and a half Gems, before Pearl sighed and spoke up again, prompting Steven to look up at her.

"Just the other day, when you and Connie came back from the Kindergarten," Pearl began, her voice low and much calmer than before. "both of you were so hurt. Connie had broken her arm, and you… y-you were cut up and covered in… blood.Your blood…" She made a squeaking sound as she suppressed a sob. Steven tensed up as he looked down at the bandages wrapped around his body and he idly picked at the edges of them. Pearl took a couple of deep breaths before she continued, "I—I was so worried… I was thinking about it all night, wondering what had happened, about what could've happened, and what I could've done to prevent it from happening in the first place. I kept wondering whether it would happen again or not, if we should risk letting you go out on a mission alone like that again."

Steven winced at the suggestion.

"Garnet said that we were risking something like this happening to you since day one, and… Amethyst acted like it never happened at all." The Quartz in question only shrugged. "I—I felt like I was the only one who realized the danger of your mission. Wh-What if something like that happened again? What if Jasper tried something and we weren't there to protect you from her?!" Steven winced at the vivid memory of her nearly choking him to death against that rock; his throat was still sore from the ordeal. "What if you… wh-what if you didn't survive it next time? I—I know, we can't always be there to protect you, but… it—it's like you're not taking the danger of these missions seriously anymore! You survived going to Homeworld and confronting the Diamonds on your own, and you've held your own against Gems that are bigger and strongerthan you in the past, but… what if you didn't? When you went after Jasper the other morning without telling anyone… what if you hadn't come back?! You'd be… be dead, or dying, and none of us would know it until it was too late!"

Steven and Amethyst exchanged concerned glances, then the former looked up uneasily at Pearl. Tears were spilling down her face and her whole body was trembling as she stared down at him. He looked at Jasper's gem for a second, then looked away, trying to figure out what to say. Finally, he settled on something simple.

"You… have to let me grow up someday, Pearl." He said it as calmly and lightly as he could, hoping to let the sensitive Gem down easy. Regardless, Pearl threw herself forward and pulled him into a firm embrace, beginning to sob heavily onto his shoulder. Her tight grasp pressing against Steven's injuries only worsened the pain that was, earlier, little more than a dull throb, but no matter how hard he tried to break free, she wouldn't let him go. With a sigh, he gave up.

Through Pearl's sobbing and choked gasps, Steven made out a single, coherent sentence. "I—I know, b-but I… I… c-can't!"

Steven suppressed a pained whimper as she squeezed him even tighter. He glanced up at Amethyst, expecting her to be laughing or at least trying to hide it. Instead, she sat on the far side of the couch, looking half uncomfortable, half concerned. Steven glanced over at Pearl out the corner of his eye, then, with a bit of effort, pulled his arms free from her grasp and returned the hug without a word.

---

It had taken almost three minutes for Pearl to finally let Steven go. When she did, she didn't look at him and didn't say a word, she just stood up, activated the Temple Gate, then disappeared into it, leaving Steven and Amethyst alone in the house proper.

Steven took the time to go to the bathroom, then used a towel to dry off his shoulder from where Pearl's tears soaked his skin and he replaced the bandages from where they'd become damp. His wounds felt sore from Pearl's crushing embrace and brownish-pink dried blood caked the skin around them, but they were healing, albeit slowly. Once he was finished, he grabbed his phone then headed upstairs to the loft where his bed was, much to Amethyst's confusion.

"What're you doing going to bed? It's early." she pointed out.

Steven sat down on the side of it. "I know. I was gonna call Connie, then see if I can contact Jasper."

Amethyst raised an eyebrow at him. "Huh, I didn't know you had Jasper's number."

Steven gave her a weird look. "In my dreams, Amethyst. So, uh… don't bother me, okay? At least not right now."

Amethyst blinked once as she looked up at him, then shrugged and got up, starting towards the Temple Gate, her gem glowing as she activated it. "Whatever, Steman. You're the boss."

Steven stared after her until she disappeared through the Temple Gate, watching as it closed with what looked like purple bubblegum sticking together in a vertical line through the middle, then it faded, giving way to the Gate's smooth grey surface. He continued to stare in silence, then glanced over at Jasper's gemstone where he'd left her resting on the end-table beside his bed earlier. The gem remained still and silent. Steven sighed at her.

"You're still not back yet, huh?" said Steven as he threw his legs up onto the bed and lifted his phone above him, turning it on and unlocking it.

What greeted him on the screen startled him. He hadn't touched his phone in a couple of days and completely forgot that he'd left the photograph of the Corrupted Quartzes pulled up. He stared at the green and pink Quartz for a few long seconds before he went into his contacts and selected Connie's number. It rang once, twice, thrice. After the fourth, it went to voicemail, so Steven cut it off with a sigh. He flipped over onto his side and placed his phone beside Jasper's gem, then stared at the lifeless stone in silence.

He half expected her to regenerate as he laid there staring at her, but after thirty seconds passed, the stone remained there, completely static. Steven lifted his hand and rested his palm upon the gem's surface, searching it for the warmth of regeneration. There was nothing. He let out a defeated sigh and wriggled about on the bed until he got underneath the blankets, shooting a final, brief glance Jasper's way before he flipped onto his opposite side.

A part of him didn't want to bother her again, but another part of him did. His brain insisted on him at least trying to unconsciously enter Jasper's gemspace, he had to know what it was like there now, he had to know what she was seeing. He had to know that she wasn't suffering anymore.

Steven closed his eyes as he whispered, half to himself, "I'll see you soon, Jas." Ten seconds passed before he slipped away into blissful unconsciousness.

---

Everything was an empty, quiet blackness until tiny motes of colour came swimming into view. They swam about aimlessly in the darkness until they found purpose and formed scenery: a towering orange canyon with walls striped with red. The blackness that filled the sky was replaced with the same alien amber colour that matched the Quartz's eyes. Steven got to his feet and he scanned his surroundings, surprised to find it looking relatively normal, or what he assumed to be normal. When he looked up, he found dark green spikes, few and far between, lining the canyons' edges, just looming there as if watching him. Regardless, their presence was significantly more scarce than they had been before.

That was a good sign… he hoped.

Steven stood in the middle of the canyon, seemingly alone. He didn't really know what to do or where to go, until a low, raspy voice greeted him.

"I was waiting on you to come back."

Steven jumped and scanned his surroundings in search of the owner of the voice and tensed when he found nothing and no-one in the realm. Before he had a chance to turn around, he was grabbed him by one of his arms and pulled him up off of his feet. He could only crane his neck to look over his shoulder at Jasper who stared back at him with a flat glare. Steven was surprised to find that the elements of her Corruption were gone, but she didn't look like herself prior to her Corruption either. Despite the lack of a spike replacing it, her right eye was still missing, leaving smooth, blank orange and red skin in its place and her hair was a frazzled, dirty mess, several bangs falling messily into her face.

Her dark red uniform was shredded and battered and the entire front of her torso made Steven nauseous when he looked it over: it looked like it'd been crushed, completely caved in, turning her orange skin a sickly blackish purple colour where horrible bruises covered her. It looked like she had recently been in a fight and found herself on the losing end. However, the injury, as gruesome as it looked, didn't seem to cause her any pain.

"Jasper? How'd you know I was coming back?"

"Because I'm not stupid, like you never give up on anything, no matter how fruitless it may be."

"What do you…? I'm… not a Gem, Jasper, not really. I'm still half human, remember?"

Jasper scoffed contemptuously. "Oh, really?" She squeezed his arm harder, making Steven cry out. "Then that makes it much more satisfying to do" She drew one of her huge fists back. "this!"

Steven didn't get a chance to react before he was violently thrown from her grasp with a heavy blow to the middle of his back. He let out a cry of pain as he tumbled to the ground, the pain radiating throughout his entire body as he laid there, staring up at Jasper with wide eyes, tears of pain beginning to form in them. She wasn't grinning sadistically like he'd expected her to be, she looked indefinably angry, and he didn't know why.

"J-Jas–Jasper…Jasper, wh-what're you doing? Wh-What's going on?!"

"Don't play stupid with me, runt!" Jasper growled as she effortlessly summoned her crash helmet.

"But I don't understand! Really!" Steven hastily summoned his shield, positioning it protectively between them.

"Don't lie to me! You know what happened! You know exactly what happened, don't you?!"

In two great strides, she was standing inches in front of him, latching onto his shield and snapping it in half like it was a tree branch; the broken shield dissipated instantly. With nothing blocking her target anymore, she threw her head forward, intending to headbutt her helmet straight into Steven's gem. He blocked it with a replacement shield at the last possible second, but he still struggled to hold her back.

"I—I don't! I–I'm not lying, Jasper! I really don't know what's wrong!" With a grunt of exertion, Jasper destroyed Steven's shield a second time, but leaned back up, staring down at the boy with a look that could kill. "J-Just tell me, Jasper! Tell me, and then maybe we can talk this out!"

"I'm done talking! I'm done negotiating with the likes of you!" Steven scrambled back, barely dodging a third attempt at headbutting his gem. "Because I know now that it's nothing but one! Big! Lie!"

She lunged at Steven again, but this time, he latched onto the helmet and shoved her back, getting up onto his feet before she had a chance to strike at him again. With a growl, Jasper rolled herself into a massive, fiery orange ball the instant she regained her composure and barreled straight towards the boy. Realizing his shield wouldn't do him any good in this situation, Steven leapt several feet into the air, watching as Jasper passed harmlessly beneath him, unfurling a few feet away. Despite how tense and anxious he was becoming, Steven forced happy, positive thoughts into his mind , eventually slwoing his descent to a gradual hover… until Jasper jumped towards him, grabbing him by one of his legs as she came back down and jerking him out of the air. Steven hit the ground hard, chest-first, with a pained yelp.

"Jasper! Please, stop!" Steven cried in desperation. "I-I've already told you! I'm not Rose Quartz! I—I don't know what she did, but…"

"Rose? Rose?! Haha, this isn't about her, runt!"

"Then what is it about?!Tell me and I'll…" Steven cut off with a cry of pain as Jasper released his ankle and decided to step on his back instead, right where she'd struck him before, refusing to let up in the slightest. "Ahh! Jasper!" Steven cried out, his voice choked with agony as he writhed uselessly beneath her weight. "I—I want to help you… but—but I don't know how! Wh–Whatever it is I did then I—I'm… I'm sorry!"

"Sorry's not gonna cut it!" Jasper snapped. She dropped down onto one knee, shifting all of her weight onto the foot that was still crushing Steven's small body. Then, she leaned forward and reached out with a red hand, latching her thick, muscular fingers around his head, putting slight pressure on him as a silent threat. Steven could only let out a barely audible squeak; he couldn't tell if she was bluffing or not and he didn't know what would happen to him in reality if he died in his dream, but he didn't want to find out the answer to either question.

What if Jasper tried something?! Pearl's words echoed in Steven's mind. It seemed like she was right there beside him, repeating those words into his ear. You need to be protected from her! Then, it finally clicked. Why are you so adamant on helping Jasper?! Of all the Gems in the galaxy, and you pick her!

"Well? Any last words before I crush you like an insect?" Jasper growled in an eerily hushed voice.

He tensed up beneath her, the realization finally hitting him and, through his pain, he choked out, "You… y-you heard what she said… d-didn't you?"

"What?! What're you going on about?!"

"Wh-What… Pearl said about you… about how…"

Jasper spoke up before he'd even finished his sentence, "Like I care what that glorified slave has to say about me! No… this is about you." Steven whimpered when she squeezed his head a little harder. "I should've known from the very beginning that trusting a Crystal Gem, one of Rose's useless lackies was a mistake, and yet I still let you get under my skin! Listening to a word any of you had to say was a waste of my time since day one!"

"Wh… what're you talking about, Jasper?" Steven pleaded. "Tell me! Please! I—"

"You lied to me! That's what I'm talking about!"

"Lied?" Steven echoed. "I—I didn't lie to you, Jasper! I swear!"

"Didn't you?!" she shouted. "Does 'we're not going to hurt or manipulate you' ring a bell?!"

Steven's eyes went wide, recalling his words from earlier that day, only for Garnet to poof her the second she got the chance. It was so quick and it came out of nowhere, Jasper more than likely never had a chance to see or hear what was going on before she retreated into her gem. She felt betrayed by that action, and Steven didn't blame her, but now, she was getting ready to crush him and kill him, possibly in the real world too, because of a huge misunderstanding.

"Jasper… all—all of this is because Garnet p-poofed you… isn't it?"

"You had your pet Fusion hiding out all along, ready to strike as soon as I let my guard down!" Jasper roared.

Steven decided to ignore her remark regarding Garnet's status as a Fusion for the time being. "No! I—I didn't, really! I mean… yeah, sh-she came with me, but… I—I didn't want her attack you! She only did that because… b-because…" Steven decided against bringing up the fact that Garnet had poofed her over the offensive statement Jasper had made at the time. "…because she thought you were, um… attacking me! Well, you were, but…"

"Then next time, maybe you should keep them on a leash."

"Uh…" Steven struggled not to make a remark about her insults. "She was… just protecting me, Jasper! That's all! She—She didn't attack you because you're… you, she attacked you because she thought I was hurt! Haven't you ever had someone that you wanted to… protect before?" For a moment, Jasper looked away, a solemn look in her eye. Steven breathed a little easier when she loosened her grip on him.

Jasper sighed, the sound thick with solemnity. "Yeah, of course." She went back to speaking in her default harsh, resentful tone rather abruptly. "But I never would've attacked someone who's supposed to be an 'ally'!If I had attacked one of my allies… I would have been shatteredfor treachery!That—That… thing deserves no better!"

"But Garnet didn't know! As far as she knew, you were still looking to shatter my gem over my mom's war crimes!" He flashed an awkward, comical grin up at her, but it fell flat on the Quartz soldier.

"That doesn't matter! How can I know it won't just happen again?!" Jasper tightened her grip again and Steven only squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to think about what might happen if he angered her or she blew up at him again, even for a split second. "I've experienced this so many times in the past… there were Gems that I thought I could call my friends, but as soon as I needed them the most, they were gone! All they ever wanted me around for was to make them look good! How do I know that this won't end the same way?!" Her voice broke and she seemed to subconsciously squeeze Steven's head in her hand, making the boy go as rigid as a stone beneath her.

"It—It won't! I promise you, it won't!" Steven pleaded. Then, for good measure, he added, "An-And even if the Gems want to take advantage of you… I won't let them!" He knew that the Gems were above manipulation like that, but considering the way Pearl talked about Jasper before…

"I don't believe you…"

"Wh-What?"

"I can't believe you! You're her… you—you have her gem! You're just like her! And Rose… she was a liar,a manipulator!"

"B-But I'm not her, and I'm not like her! I—I'm Steven! The only one that I'm 'like' is me!" He forced a more genuine smile at her. "I—I don't know what my mom did to make you feel this way, but… I won't do the same thing… not intentionally anyway!I can promise you that!" Jasper didn't respond immediately, and remained silent for a few seconds more. "Jasper…? Please, just—just let me protect you!"

"I don't need your protection."

"Yes, you do! You need it more than you're willing to admit! I—I know it!"

"Don't pretend to know me… you know nothing about me!" Steven grimaced as Jasper yelled at him, half-expecting her to end him right then and there. To his surprise, she didn't.

"Okay… o-okay, I've got that! But, the point being… can't you just give us a chance? One more chance? Please?"

Jasper was silent for a few seconds, then said, a little more calm than she was before, "And why should I do that? If the others won't give me a second chance—"

"I'll have to talk to them about that." Steven interrupted. "And… well, you can't just stay in your gem forever, y'know."

"Except I can, and I will if I have to! I ask for one good reason to trust you again, and you can't even give me that?!"

Steven instinctively squirmed beneath the Quartz, despite how futile the action was.

"Look… maybe I don't have a perfect reason, but it's not like you have anything else to do or anywhere better to go! I mean… once you do regenerate, you won't have anywhere to go, and you'll still be alone! It's not like you can go back to Homeworld… even if you could, and you don't know what'll happen if you try to fend for yourself again!" Steven flinched when she let out a low snarl at that. "There might still be some Corrupted Gems out there, and what if you're attacked by the people in the city again? Wh-What if your gem is cracked again?!"

"I can hold my own against a few lowly humans, whether I'm Corrupted or not."

Steven didn't immediately retort, unsure of what to say to that, then said, "But… don't you remember what happened before? When that group of people attacked you? They cracked your gem, they could've shattered you! If it… if it weren't for me, you'd be in pieces right now!"

Jasper didn't bother asking how he knew that. "And who's to say that isn't what I'd prefer?!"

Steven's eyes went wide. "But… why, Jasper? Why do you want to be shattered? Why do want to… t-to die?!"

Jasper snarled at his bluntness. "Because it's… over for me, Steven. My Diamond is gone, Yellow Diamond won't take me back, I'm stuck here on Earth. The only ones I have to turn to anymore are four mutinous rebelswho want me deadand the spawn of my Diamond's killer. I'm at the lowest that I've ever been since I emerged from Beta… I thought it was a lonely place, being at the very top, but now, heh… now, I realize that being at the bottom is even lonelier."

"But you're not alone at the bottom, Jasper." Steven began coolly. "So you're at your lowest now… but—but we are too! We're all at the bottom, Jasper, it—it's not just you, I can promise you that."

He paused momentarily, waiting for Jasper to say something in response; she stayed silent.

"Jasper, listen… you're just one of a million Quartz soldiers back on Homeworld. If something happens to you, then, in the Diamonds' eyes, you're expendable. They can just throw you away, replace you with another Jasper or Amethyst or Carnelian that's just as good. You'll never be anything but a few letters and numbers to them." Steven remembered when Peridot contacted Yellow Diamond, forced to identify herself, not as "Peridot", but as "Facet-2F5L Cut-5XG". He assumed Jasper was no different. "You're just a puppet to them, they can make you do anything and everything they want, no matter what… but you don't want that. Not—Not really, right?"

Jasper growled under her breath. "Pink Diamond was different. She saw each and every one of us as special and unique for who we are…"

"But Pink is gone now, Jasper. The other Diamonds aren't like her!"

"Don't you think I know that?!" Jasper shouted. "I—I don't want to serve… her. She's not my Diamond, Pink is. She always will be, shattered or not! But I—I had no choice in the matter… I had to serve somebody!"

Steven whimpered when she squeezed him hard again, enough to make it hurt. "Ah! Jasper… c-calm down! You don't have to serve her anymore! You're on Earth now, where she can't reach you! You can choose to do what you want now, the Diamonds don't have any say in it anymore!"

"Except they do." Steven let out a relieved sigh when she abruptly released him and put a finger against the abused insignia on her chest. "As long I wear the Diamond Authority's insignia, I serve them, and them alone. If they suspect that I've stepped out of line or if I'm being held captive by the Crystal Gems, they'll just send a battalion of Quartzes or Rubies or whatever so that they can change that and take me back to the Gem Homeworld."

"But they already did."

"What?!"

"Yellow sent five Rubies to Earth looking for you, but then we shot them all into space and took their Roaming Eye… then one of them came back and stole it again, found the other Rubies, and took them all back to Homeworld. But I don't think they'll be back anytime soon."

"Rubies? Naïve wastes of space…" Jasper muttered to herself.

"Uh… yeah, they were pretty dumb." Steven smiled slightly at that, but it quickly disappeared. "But remember, you haven't regenerated yet. You can change that insignia to whatever you want it to be, it doesn't have to be of one of the Diamonds." Jasper scoffed in response at first and smirked bitterly down at the boy.

"What do you expect me to change it to? A star?"

"Anything you want! Or nothing at all, if that's what you'd prefer. You don't have to pledge allegiance to the Diamonds anymore if you don't want to! Remember what Peridot said? Earth can set you free…" He smiled up at her while Jasper silently mouthed the words, but shook her head violently once she came to her senses and realized what she was doing.

"The Diamonds are all I've ever known, I don't even know where to start…"

"Then I can help you. Us worst Gems have to stick together… right?" Steven regretted saying that as soon as the words left his mouth, unsure of how severely Jasper would react to them. To his surprise, she hardly reacted at all, only grunted dismissively. "Right?" Again, she was silent. Steven felt himself becoming lightheaded and his surroundings began blurring over; the pain of Jasper's foot crushing his back began to fade away with it. Oh, no… I'm waking up!

Just before the world swirled away, Steven heard Jasper chuckle softly under her breath; he couldn't tell if it was genuine or not.

"What did I tell you? When you're at the bottom, you'll do anything… follow anyone that makes you feel like less of a failure."

With those words, the realm swirled dizzyingly away and Steven was pulled unceremoniously back into the waking world. He let out a sharp gasp and his eyes snapped open wide. His back was still hurting, right where Jasper had assaulted him, and even the tiniest of movements aggravated it. He tried to reach around and touch where there was probably a forming bruise, but his arms just weren't flexible enough. Steven let out a pained moan as he gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut, bearing the pain enough to flip onto his opposite side, going still as a statue once he did.

On the end-table, Jasper's gem was still stationary beside Steven's phone. He stared at her in silence for a couple of minutes that felt like a couple of hours. Nothing happened. The gem laid there, motionlessly, silently, the ache it caused him, Steven reached forward with a hand and cupped it over the faceted gemstone, feeling it for any signs of warmth. Nothing. He let out a disappointed sigh as he recoiled his hand again, staring solemnly at the gem.

"Come on, Jasper, you have to come back. Please…" he whispered to her. Twenty seconds passed. Still nothing.

As Steven laid there staring at her, his eyes became heavy and he nearly returned to his slumber if the sound of his phone vibrating didn't snap him back to attention.

"Ah! J-Jasper!"

Steven was quick to snatch Jasper's gem from the table and stare at her expectantly. Nothing. He turned his attention to where his phone still laid when it vibrated once more. Steven let out a disappointed sigh as he returned Jasper's gem to her place and picked up his phone, turning it on and unlocking it again. There was no notification to prompt the buzzing other than one informing him that the battery was almost dead. He looked up to find that the sky was darkening outside and recalled that his phone was no more than 30% charged when he'd picked it up from the counter. The last time he'd picked it up, he had failed to attach it to its charger cord again.

Steven got up with a pained groan and headed downstairs, attaching his phone to its charger before he went into the gallery, skimming through the pictures until he found a peculiar one of Jasper, the disembodied gemstones of the two Corrupted Quartzes held in her hands, presenting them proudly to him. It was almost hard to find a legitimately troubled, broken Gem behind those hard golden eyes and her fanged, sadistic grin as she presented the gems of her victims to the camera. He wondered if it was some side-effect of being Corrupted, pushing all of her worst, most painful memories to the forefront, even if her Corruption was only partial now.

He shrugged it off and turned his phone off, casting a glance out the window for a second, watching the Sun where it gradually began its descent beneath the horizon, the waters of the ocean shimmering with orange light, then he started back up towards the loft. He only stopped, turning to face the Temple Gate, when he heard it activating with a blue design that scrawled across the door's grey surface. He recognized it as the one belonging to Pearl.

Steven stood there and waited patiently as the door opened and the skinny Gem emerged, her eyes on the floor. He didn't want to see her, at least not right now, but his feelings towards her changed when he noticed how emotionally exhausted she looked and how red her eyes were, like she'd been crying for a while, even after she'd departed into her room. She didn't even seem to notice him at first.

"Pearl?" Steven spoke up softly, as not to startle her.

She jumped and let out a gasp, looking up at him with wide, surprised blue eyes. As soon as she noted his presence, she allowed herself to relax. "Oh, Steven, I—I thought you were in bed."

"I was, but I was just trying to contact Ja…" Steven paused, then thought better of bringing it up around her again. "…never mind. Um… are you okay, Pearl? You look upset."

Pearl's eyes widened again and she reached up, frantically wiping at her eyes and forcing a weak smile at the boy. "Oh, it's nothing, Steven. I wanted to come out and… check on you, that's all."

She's lying. Steven thought. He couldn't help but realize how much it sounded like something Garnet might say. Steven tried to think of the right words to say aloud, not wanting to risk upsetting her any further. Fortunately, Pearl jumped in before he had a chance to speak up. "So, how's… Jasper?"

"She's not back yet, if that's what you're wondering."

"Oh, good…" Pearl muttered, trying to make sure that Steven didn't hear her; she failed. They both fell silent, then Pearl spoke again, saying something that Steven didn't quite expect, "I'm… sorry, Steven." Steven's eyes widened and he tried to hide his shock at her question.

"What?"

"I said… I'm sorry." Pearl repeated. "I—I know that you want to help her… I know that you want to save her. Heh… Rose was the same way. Always had the best intentions at heart. She was stubborn, always did what she wanted." She chuckled sadly as she reminisced on Rose Quartz. "She tried to heal the rest of the Crystal Gems after the Diamonds set off their Corruption Song, but… it never stuck, and it crushed her when she realized that. She would try over and over and over again, trying to save them, restore them to their original forms and help them remember who they once were. But, at the end of the day, it was only me, Garnet, and herself that she had saved from the Diamonds."

Steven looked at the floor, a solemn look in his eyes, but he remained silent, waiting for Pearl to continue.

"Then, when you succeeded where Rose failed, I just… put you down because of it. I should've been proud of you, happy that you may've found the key to healing Corruptions, but… I'm not. I… can't. I guess a part of me is a little disappointed, the fact that Rose could've saved them back then, but she didn't."

"She didn't know how."

"And I think I'm a little frustrated because she didn't know. So many Gems were transformed into savage monsters that day and all we could do was stand by and let it happen, powerless to do anything more to save them… or so we thought at the time. It hurt to see them like that, once proud soldiers turned into—into animals. We all had friends among them, and it hurt to lose them all at once like that. It was like all of them had been shattered, gone forever. Of course, they were still alive in their bubbles, but… we could never have them back again. A part of me just didn't want to admit that we could've saved them, we should've saved them… but we didn't. A part of me still doesn't."

Steven's voice was calm and soft as he spoke, "…Wh-Why are you telling me this? You don't have to think about that anymore, we can save them now. It may take a while to heal all of them, but we still can!" Steven smiled at the pale Gem, but she only looked away, wiping at her eyes as tears formed in them, causing Steven's optimistic expression to vanish.

"I know, Steven, I know… but we let them suffer for five thousand years. It—It feels unforgivable."

"But it's not. I'm sure all of them would understand that there was nothing in your power to help them at the time. Sure, they were trapped in their own consciousness, tortured by their worst fears and memories for thousands of years with no esca… oh, sorry. But I think they would forgive youboth for that." Steven smiled at her again and, finally, Pearl returned it, chuckling sadly as a couple of tears began to streak down her face.

"Sometimes… you sound just like her." Pearl said, her voice breaking as she looked up at him with a sad smile.

But I'm not her and I'm not like her! I'm Steven! The only one that I'm 'like' is me!

Steven's smile fell as he thought back to what he'd said to Jasper. He tried so hard to be himself, a completely separate individual from Rose Quartz whether he had her gem or not, but it seemed like, no matter what he did, he always seemed to echo the words she said over five thousand years ago which, more often than not, turned certain Gems against him completely. He knew Pearl said that, not out of malice, but out of appreciation and compassion and that he should've been proud to hear those words, but deep down, it hurt. Why couldn't he just be Steven Quartz Universe?

He looked at Pearl and found her staring past him, a distant, mournful look in her eyes. Steven turned around and followed her gaze, realizing that she was staring longingly at the portrait of Rose Quartz that hung over the front door. Steven stared at it himself for a long time, unsure of what to think, until he noticed something out the corner of his eye, what looked like a brilliant golden light, almost blinding, even when he wasn't looking directly at it.

"Huh?" He turned to Pearl for a second, then glanced upstairs, his eyes widening and stars entering his pupils when he saw where that glow was coming from. Jasper's gem levitated up off of the end-table and hovered above the floor of the loft beside his bed, a brilliant amber glow surrounding it. Within seconds, a glowing white silhouette appeared from it, cycling through what looked like hundreds of old regenerations. Steven glanced towards Pearl again, watching in surprise as her own gem glowed as she summoned her spear.

"No, no!" he shouted at her, jumping from the stairs and pulling the sharp weapon from her grasp. "We're not going to fight her!" Pearl stared down at him, eyes wide in shock as he pulled the weapon out of her thin hands; she looked a little hurt. Steven reflected her distressed expression as he said, barely above a whisper, "Just trust me." She continued to stare down at him, then closed her eyes, sighing as the spear disappeared into a cloud of white sparkles, then nothing.

Steven smiled silently at her, then looked back up at the loft, just in time to see the silhouette cycle past her Corrupted form, then finally take her half-Corrupted humanoid form as the light faded away. Jasper lightly landed on both feet, visibly swaying. Her eye was closed as she struggled to regain her balance, only to collapse onto one knee with a weak cry of what sounded like pain. Steven winced as her impact shook the floor.

Steven stepped towards the stairs, but Pearl instinctively reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him in his tracks; he looked up at her concerned gaze, then back at the half-Corrupted Gem on the loft.

"Jasper…?"

She groaned as she opened her eye to look at him. "Ugh… St-Steven…"

"Jasper." Steven pulled from Pearl's grasp with little effort and started up the stairs towards Jasper. He heard Pearl let out a soft gasp and fearfully whisper his name, but he blocked it out. He stopped a few inches beside the Quartz, deciding better of trying to get any closer to her. He was a bit disappointed to find that her uniform hadn't changed at all, at least not significantly. Steven tried to rest a hand on her shoulder, but she pulled away from his touch. "Jasper,we need to talk." Jasper said nothing, only turned her head and looked up at him through her blonde bangs, an agitated look in her bright yellow eye. Steven gave her a more stern glare in response.

"Jasper, we need to talk." he repeated. "All five of us."

"No. We don't." Jasper snarled, looking away from him again.

"Yes, we do! Jasper, if we're going to help you, then you need to settle your differences with the Crystal Gems."

Jasper smirked and made a low sound, reminiscent of a snicker. "Calling those rejects Gems… it's a disgrace."

"Jasper, you at least have to try."

"What if I don't want to try?!" Jasper retorted, raising her voice suddenly. "They're embarrassments, every last one of them. They don't need me, just like I don't need them."

"Don't call them 'embarrassments', Jasper." Steven said sternly, forcing a hard look at her through his anxiety as he stood next to her. She wasn't fazed by his look, nor did she even turn to face him. She glared idly, bitterly at the floor as if even it had done something to wrong her.

"That's what they are. Embarrassments. To Homeworld, to Gems all throughout the galaxy…"

"But why?! What makes them any different from any other Gem? Just because they don't fall in line with the rest of Homeworld?!"

"Yes." Jasper said bluntly. She groaned as she shifted onto her knees and made an exaggerated gesture in Pearl's general direction. "Pearls are meant to be servants, slaves to the higher ups. Not soldiers who can trot around acting like they can do anything they want!" Steven flinched at her words and Pearl looked away with a strange look in her eyes, both fists clenched tightly at her sides as if she were resisting the urge not to summon her spear. "Quartzes are meant to tower over their enemies, Quartzes are meant to be intimidating warriorsthat can smash their enemies into the ground without any effort! But Amethyst… isn't, she's a runt who couldn't intimidate a gem shard much less an opponent on the battlefield. She's a joke!"

"No, she's not!" Steven yelled, stomping a frustrated foot to the floor. Jasper looked up at him with a wide eye, as if she'd been caught off-guard by his outburst, and Pearl looked equally surprised. "The Diamonds taught you to believe that Gems are wrong and have to be shattered if they don't fit into the caste like everyone else, but they're wrong, Jasper, and you need to understand that! Pearl isn't a servant, but she isn't defective either. She's a loyal, honorable, respectable Gem and a warrior, whether you want to admit it or not. And maybe Amethyst isn't the strongest Gem in the galaxy, but she's still talented with her whip and can do the same things that you can do, overcooked or not!"

Jasper said nothing, only stared up at him, her eye widened in surprise that he was actually raising his voice to her.

"She's not defective either, Jasper, none of them are. Because 'perfect' doesn't always mean 'the same', 'perfect' can mean 'imperfect' too. I mean, look at you. You're half-Corrupted, your legs can't support your weight anymore, you can't even summon your weapon!" Jasper flinched at the realization and looked away with a barely audible growl. "But does that make you defective? Does that mean you need to be shattered? Does that make you any different at all from the Gem that you used to be?!"

The growl rumbling in Jasper's throat increased in volume, but she said nothing.

"Well? Does it?!"

Jasper snarled in frustration, her clawed hands tightening into fists. "Agh… yes, it does!" She punctuated the last word by slamming one fist to the floor of the loft; it felt like she made the entire Temple tremor with her strike. Steven stumbled back, but he was only thankful that she hadn't used both fists or the loft may've fallen apart right beneath them. "I've already told you… you should've just shattered me instead of putting me in that—that bubble to suffer! I used to be everything… but now, I'm nothing! I've lost everything I have and I can never get it back again. My home, my colony… my Diamond. All of it… gone. I don't see why you can't understand this!"

"Jasper…"

"No! I need to be shattered… I'm a disgrace to Homeworld, I'm a disgrace to everyone, everything… I'm a disgrace to the Gem I used to be! At least, if you'd shattered me… I wouldn't have to know how far I've fallen. I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. You may've healed my Corruption, but I've suffered ever since the day I lost her…" Steven opened his mouth to say something as Jasper hid her face in her hands, but he couldn't tell if she was crying or not. He closed his mouth again, unsure of what to say, unsure if anything he came up with would be anything but bluntly denied by her.

"Jasper?" Jasper winced slightly, quickly realizing that that wasn't the voice of Steven speaking to her. Steven turned to look, pleasantly surprised to find Pearl hesitantly starting up the stairs towards both of them. "I-If I may…" Jasper said nothing, but peered at the Gem through her clawed fingers, giving Pearl a hard, intimidating look. Pearl took that as the closest thing she'd get to a 'yes', and continued regardless of Jasper's reaction.

"I… I know how you feel. You may not believe it, but I do."

Jasper growled softly, but responded anyway, "How could a Pearl… ever understand how I feel? You're supposed to be a preprogrammed drone,nothing more."

Pearl winced and struggled to bite back a snide comeback. "Maybe so," she began through gritted teeth, then began talking normally after taking a deep breath. "but I'm not like other Pearls, I'm sure you understand that by now." She forced a small smile, trying to make herself feel proud of that status; it was hardly doing her any good and her smile quickly vanished, and her expression fell significantly when Jasper spoke again.

"That's nothing to be proud of."

"Wha…?!" Pearl let out a shrill snarl of her own. "I—I don't… you are just impossible, you know that?! I'm trying to reach out to you, and you still push me away! I swear, you're as bad as Ame…" She stopped short when Steven reached up and rested a hand on her arm, looking up at her with a mildly disappointed look. With that, Pearl took a long, deep breath, then continued, sounding much calmer. "A Pearl or not, I'm just trying to help you."

"I don't need your help."

"No, you're just too stubborn to admit it." Pearl pointed out tersely. Jasper's eye widened again at that and she looked at Pearl with a mixture of malice and shock that a Pearl was actually standing up to, well, anyone. Pearl smirked down at her. "Now, listen to me, Jasper. I used to have a close relation with Ro… with a Gem, much like your relationship with your Diamond."

Jasper's eye narrowed again. "You know nothing about us."

"Except I do. I know the way you felt, I understand the way you felt with her better than anyone. I was in your place once, after all."

"Nothing more than a Pearl's loyalty to her owner. You don't know real love, real admiration, or real trust! I've known it since the day I emerged from this hunk of rock, while you just had it programmed into your head."

"Oh, is that so?!" Pearl snapped, reaching the end of her rope again. "I'll have you know that the love between me and Rose Quartz was very much real! Just as real as your love for Pink Diamond!"

"Oh, really, Pearl?" Jasper grinned sadistically at her. "Then tell me about how you felt about her, about how much you adored and admired her. Go ahead, enlighten me."

"It—It… I didn't love her because she was my owner, if that's what you're thinking!" Steven reached out towards her again, but Pearl shrugged him away, taking a daring step towards Jasper. "I loved her because she was the first Gem to treat me like a Gem! A Gem, not just her slave or a toy to be flaunted about! Can you say as much?!" Jasper's malicious grin abruptly disappeared with the words, and was replaced with a livid expression.

"You… you dare!?"

"Yes, yes I do." Pearl stated, not even smiling in triumph this time. "You really think you meant anything to her? Anything at all? You were nothing more than another pawn in their little game, an insignificant part of a much bigger picture. Yellow Diamond turned her back on you as soon as you weren't her perfect little status symbol anymore, and I can guarantee that Pink would've been no different!"

"LIAR! You—You know nothing of what we had! You never will!"

"Oh, but I do." Pearl said with a slight smile as she stared down at Jasper. The Quartz was shaking, a half livid, half manic look in her eye as she crouched there, subconsciously digging her clawed fingers into the wooden flooring and tearing it apart. "In fact, I probably know more about her than you do… considering I once served her." With those words, Steven's eyes went wide and he let out a surprised gasp, while Jasper simply turned away from the scrawny Gem, unable to look her in the eye anymore.

"You can sit there and glorify Pink Diamond's image all night long, Jasper, but it won't change anything."

"Stop…" Jasper snarled, just loud enough for Steven to catch it. Pearl didn't.

"You did anything and everything she told you without question, or risked facing execution." Pearl's smirk grew a little. "It's almost like you were just a Pearl in her eyes."

Jasper snapped. With an enraged scream, she pushed off of the floor and lunged straight towards Pearl, crashing into her and pinning her to the floor. Pearl's gem glowed as she prepared to summon her weapon, but Jasper was faster, latching all five fingers around the edges of the smooth white cabochon. She squeezed it slightly and the glow disappeared, Pearl letting out a strangled cry beneath her.

"I said stop." Jasper said, her voice eerily calm. "You just don't know what's good for you, huh?"

Steven let out a whimper, covering his mouth as tears formed in his eyes. "P-Pearl…" He went to summon his shield, but decided against it. If he attacked her, all Jasper had to do was tighten her grasp and Pearl would be… she would be… Steven squeaked as the awful thought passed through his mind, the tears beginning to streak down his face. Pearl opened and closed her mouth a time or two, then stopped, not wanting to risk saying the wrong thing, so Steven spoke in her place.

"Jasper… l-let her go."

Jasper looked at him out the corner of her eye. "And why should I, runt?On Homeworld, she would be shattered for blasphemy. Why should it be any different here?"

"Because this isn't Homeworld!" Steven pointed out.

"Don't remind me."

"Jasper, please, just—just listen for a second, okay?" Steven began. He paused and, when she didn't interrupt, he continued. "You may not believe it, but—but all of us! We're all the same!"

"I… wh-what?!"

"Just—Just hear me out, okay?" Steven said quickly. "You and Pearl are still trying to recover, even years later, from losing the Gems that you loved the most; Pearl lost Rose, you lost Pink. An-And you and Amethyst... you're both Quartz soldiers, and you're both always longing to be something bigger and stronger than what you are! But you're not... and you know that you're not because you've been beaten and you've lost so many times in the past... but that doesn't stop either of you from trying! And, then there's you and me… the two of us just want to find our places in this world, but… we can't." Steven smiled up at Jasper while she stared blankly at the floor, hand still latched onto Pearl's gem. "Don't you see? You and me and Amethyst and Pearl, you're all the same. We're all the same."

Jasper for silent for a second, two, then she began to chuckle softly under her breath, the sound thick with pain and bitterness. "You sound… just like her…"

"Wha? You—You mean… Rose?"

"Pink Diamond. You sound just like saw good in everyone and everything, no matter how defective they may've been. The only upside is that she was smart enough to put Homeworld first."

"They're not defective, Jasper, I've already told you this." Steven said. "They're just… different, that's all."

"But 'different' isn't right."

"But you're different too, you've been different since the very beginning!"

Jasper gave him a harsh look and growled in warning, but otherwise, said nothing.

"The other Quartzes were really energetic and playful like Amethyst, I saw them myself at the Human Zoo. But…"

"Wait… they weren't shattered?"

"Huh? Oh, no, they… seemed okay."

"She… she told me they were shattered. Every last one of them." Jasper reminisced. "Yellow told me that they were defective and they had to be purged, that they were useless to Homeworld… 'nothing… lost'." She paused, then smirked and began chuckling eerily again. "Now, I'm the one that's 'nothing lost'. Those defective Quartzes from Beta were kept around as guards after the War, while I was just… thrown away, forgotten. Nothing… l-lost…" Her voice broke slightly as she trailed off, and the anxious expressions on Pearl and Steven's faces morphed into ones of concern as they looked at the Quartz.

Her grasp on Pearl's gem dampened as she hung her head, giving Steven the chance to pull her hand away from Pearl's gem, before attempting to hug the mourning Quartz, but this time, Jasper shoved him away with a grunt. She wasn't crying, but it still hurt Steven to see her looking so uncharacteristically… broken.

"Jasper," Pearl said as she got up off of the floor, caressing her gem slightly. "I-I'm sorry, but… I was just trying to help. I mean, I know how you feel, whether you want to admit or not. I've been there before, with Rose. I felt the same way you're feeling right now… for fourteen years." Jasper scoffed dismissively, but Pearl ignored it. "If anyone here can relate to the way you feel, then it's going to be me."

"But you're… a Pearl." Jasper retorted, half to herself.

"Y-Yes… yes, I am a Pearl, but that makes me no different than any other Gem and that makes me no less a Gem than you are. Now let's talk about this. Just forget what I am long enough to listen to the words that I have to say."

There was a pause, then Jasper scoffed bitterly. "I'm listening."

Pearl hesitated for a moment, wondering whether or not Jasper was being sarcastic, then spoke, "I—I loved Rose Quartz. Not as my owner, not as my leader, but as a friend." Steven sat down on the side of the bed, preparing for a story. "She was the first one to treat me as her equal, to treat me like a real Gem, to make me feel like I was more than just a status centuries, back when I served Pink Diamond, I only knew two things: that I was made to serve, no questions asked, no matter what order I was given, and that my existence was meaningless. My opinion, what I thought, what I wanted meant absolutely nothing. They didn't let me forget that either." "When I first saw Rose Quartz, one of the first soldiers to be formed on Pink's new colony, Earth, I didn't really think that much of her. I saw Quartz and Ruby soldiers daily, so she was nothing new. Just another Gem brainwashed into fighting on Homeworld's behalf.

"But Pink Diamond said that she was one of the most perfectly formed Gems she'd ever seen." Jasper sneered at those words. "So, a few weeks after Rose arrived to Homeworld, Pink Diamond decided to give me away, gifting me to Rose Quartz as her personal servant. But, at the time, I'd only known one Gem, the one I was made for, the one that I served for centuries, and that Gem was Pink Diamond. I knew that Quartzes was savages, so, as you can well imagine, I didn't have the best outcome in mind at the time. I tried to argue with Pink Diamond's decision at first but, as you can see, those arguments fell flat." She smiled slightly to herself. "Now, I'm glad that they did."

"I went to serve Rose Quartz for the first time with the worst-case scenario in mind, imagining an aggressive, abusive warrior that was always in battlefield mode. Instead, she was one of the most respectable Gems I'd ever met, nothing like how I pictured a huge Quartz soldier. She was serene as a Sapphire, but had the ferocity of a Ruby when she was on the battlefield, the perfect middle ground between two clashing personality traits. She didn't see me as her servant, but as another Gem. I was unfamiliar with the way she treated me at first, I was unfamiliar with the entire concept of freedom… until I went with her to her birth planet, Earth, where she was to assist in the creation of the new colony.

"That was when she presented to me the beauty and uniqueness of this planet and the creatures dwelling here. No two of them, humans or otherwise, were the same, and Earth, like the beings here, changed all the time. It's nothing like Homeworld, and the beings here are nothing like Gems, and that's what Rose Quartz loved so much about it. Humans weren't formed with a certain purpose in mind, they can choose to do anything and everything they want without the risk of being destroyed for it. Of course, they lose a lot of their potential due to their undeniably short lifespans, but that leaves a lot of potential for us Gems." Pearl looked Jasper right in the eye. "Homeworld wouldn't have lost the War if they weren't so afraid of change."

"It has nothing to do with cowardice." Jasper said. "You stepped beyond your boundaries and Rose encouraged it. You both should've been shattered for such… such disgusting presentation."

"What?!" Pearl snapped. "I—I… you… ugh. What is wrong with you?! Are you so brainwashed by Homeworld's propaganda that…?"

"It's not propaganda," Jasper interrupted. "it's truth. The Gems of Homeworld have been around much longer than Rose's rebellion, and we've been around much longer than the Earth."

"That doesn't mean anything! At least I was formed on Homeworld, but you emerged from the soil of the Earth! You were nothing but another Quartz soldier mass-produced here because the rest weren't enough! Admit it, you were never anything more than a pawn!"

Jasper clenched her fists again and stared Pearl down from the floor. "Say that again, you little…!"

"Nooo!" Steven shouted, jumping up the bed and summoning his shield as he stood between the Gems. Both of them looked on in shocked silence.

"S-Steven?" Pearl said, almost whispering. Jasper said nothing this time.

"I said no! You're not doing this again, neither of you!"

"But she's just so…!"

"Neither of you!" Steven furiously reiterated. "All I want is to help another Homeworld Gem… but you won't even let me do that! You"—he gestured towards Pearl—"keep finding some way to upset her or anger her! And you"—he gestured towards Jasper—"are too stubborn to listen to a word Pearl says just because of what she used to be! Who she used to be! I don't care what she was made for, Jasper, we're on Earth now. And, on Earth, it doesn't matter if she's a Pearl or a Quartz or… whatever! She's still your equal! We're all equal here!"

Jasper sneered again, but said nothing, and Pearl crossed her arms, looking away ashamedly. Steven let out a heavy sigh and allowed his shield to dissipate once he was sure a fight wasn't going to start up between them again. He stepped back so that he had a good view of both Gems.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you two, but… I don't want you guys to hate each other. I—I can't stand to see you guys fighting anymore."

"Oh, Steven, we don't…"

Jasper interrupted Pearl with a snicker. "Why? It hasn't bothered you before."

"Jasper, please, can't you at least try to be a civilized Gem? Would you rather we had left you out in the wilderness to be shattered by some Corruption or a group of angry, scared humans?" Jasper opened her mouth, but Steven stopped her. "Wait, don't answer that, I think I already know the answer. But you really need to be more thankful. If it weren't for me, you'd still be Corrupted, and if it weren't for me, you'd be in pieces right now!"

Jasper's eye widened slightly, then she narrowed it again, glancing away. "You're right. I should be."

"And you're going to be before long." Steven said sternly. "Now, I'm going make this work, Jasper, no matter what you have to say about it. I made it work for Peridot and Lapis, so I'm going to make it work for you too! Nobody's going to fight, and we're all going to work together and be nice"—he shot a glance at Pearl out the corner of his, making her shrink away—"to each other until you find somewhere else to go."

"It'd better be soon, I don't know how long I'm going to be able to take this Crystal Gem propaganda."

"But we can't set you loose into the world unless you prove to us that you've changed, and that you're willing to do better!"

"What?!"

"Otherwise, we'll risk setting you loose onto the world and having you wreak havoc on the town. You just need to prove that we can trust you, got it?"

"Shouldn't be too hard. Considering…"

Steven pretended he didn't hear that. "And you're going to start by apologizing to Pearl for what you said!"

Jasper's eye went wide as she looked at him, and she looked at Pearl bitterly. The skinny Gem simply looked down at Jasper with a smug smile on her face.

"Ugh… why should I? We have nothing to say to each other."

"Because you're on our turf now, Jasper," Pearl responded. "and you're under our roof. So that means you abide by our rules, whether you like it or not."

---

The sound of the tide coming in roared loudly in Steven's ears as he stepped out onto the porch, the screen door clattering shut behind him. He turned his attention towards the shore where Jasper was sitting, idly watching the waves. Steven stepped towards the wooden steps, but momentarily stopped himself, glancing over at a hole torn through the window that overlooked the beach. Jasper had been angry before, especially over what Pearl had said to her, and he found himself feeling more than a little hesitant about getting close to her right now.

Testing the waters, he stepped to the bottom of the porch and cupped his hands around his mouth, calling the Gem's name. She jumped slightly and cast a glance over her shoulder at him, then turned away again, not saying a word. He decided that was the closest thing to a good sign that he was going to get and hesitantly started towards her.

"Jasper? Can… we talk?" Steven stopped a couple of feet behind her, waiting patiently for a response.

Jasper scoffed, half to herself. "Do I have any choice in the matter?"

"…Not really." Steven admitted sheepishly.

"That's what I thought."

"Jasper, she was just trying to help. You can't just attack anyone who talks back to you like that, it's going to happen one way or another."

"She didn't have to pull her weapon on me either. So what?"

Steven gave her a flat look, even though she was turned away. "You threw her through the window, of course she was going to fight back!"

"But she's a Pearl!"

"She's a Gem, Jasper, just like the rest of us. Being a Pearl has nothing to do with it."

Jasper sighed. "You can tell me that all night long, it's not going to change a thing. She's a servant and she overstepped her boundaries. Thrice. She's lucky that was all I did."

Steven flinched at those words, but forced himself to keep his composure, letting out a frustrated sigh. "You know what would've happened if you'd tried anything else."

"Yeah, you would've tried to talk me to death. Maybe you would've sicced that tiny Amethyst on me. I don't think I have anything to worry about."

"Except you still can't fight, Jasper. And what about Garnet? She defeated you on that Homeworld ship and she even poofed you in one hit back in Beta! Smokey Quartz did too, and Peridot… and Lapis, Stevonnie, um… and, uh…"

"That's enough." Jasper snapped. Steven took that is a warning and fell silent, excluding him muttering a small apology under his breath.

Steven stood there in silence for a few seconds, then stepped forward and sat down on the sand beside Jasper, prompting a hostile glare from her; he ignored it.

"There's… something else I wanted to talk to you about."

"What if I don't want to talk?" Jasper snarled.

"Well, let's just say I'm not going to leave until you do." Steven grinned up at her and she looked away with an agitated grunt. He decided to turn his attention to the waves instead. "I—I wanted to talk to you about the Great Gem War. Or, specifically, your Diamond. Pink Diamond." Jasper's eye went wide at the mention of her fallen Diamond, but she still didn't look at the boy, just stared blankly at the ocean.

"Why?"

"You and Pearl were arguing about Pink Diamond back in the Temple. Pearl said that she was ruthless and evil like the other Diamonds, but you keep saying that she was the best thing to happen to the Diamond Authority, but that's all you've ever really told me about her. So… I wanted to hear your side of the story. I only ever hear about the War from Gems who fought on the behalf of Rose Quartz and opposed Homeworld, so now, I actually have a chance to hear about it from a Homeworld Gem." He grinned expectantly at her again, but it went unnoticed.

"What is there to say? Wh-Why do you even care?!"

"I dunno, I just… do. I feel like it's something that I should know, but don't. You and one of those Rubies nearly killed me over what my mom did to Pink Diamond, and I was even put on trial for it back on the Gem Homeworld. I don't know what really happened five thousand years ago, Jasper, but… don't you think I deserve to know?"

Jasper was silent for a moment. "You don't 'deserve' anything. You shouldn't even exist!"

"Wh-What?" Steven said, caught off-guard by her venomous words.

"Rose Quartz should've had her gem smashed into dustfor what she did. Starting a Rebellion, shattering a—a Diamond, she deserved nothing more than death. A slow, torturous one preferably. And if she was shattered, then you wouldn't exist either, would you? You're nothing but a constant reminder that Rose never got what was coming to her, that she wasn't shattered, wasn't Corrupted, that she was allowed to live a long, happy life… but I didn't! I suffered because of what she did!"

"And I'm… sorry to hear that, Jasper. If it had been me in her place, then I wouldn't have done that."

"You sayyou wouldn't have done that."

"I know I wouldn't! I've never shattered a Gem, and I never will! You can trust me on that!"

"That's exactly what she said! And then she turned around and shattered her anyway! She's a traitor, they all are! And there's nothing you can say to change that!"

Steven opened his mouth, but closed it again, taking a couple of deep breaths before he continued, feeling tears brimming in his eyes as he spoke. "Jasper… don't you… d-don't you think I feel the same way?" Jasper glanced towards him as he looked away, suppressing a sob. "She said that she would never shatter a Gem, that the Crystal Gems never break other Gems to win their battles. She even bubbled away one of her own, Bismuth, because she wanted to shatter the Homeworld Gems… but Rose didn't, and then she just went ahead and shattered Pink anyway. The Gems say that she did what she had to do, but I still feel so… wrong. Betrayed. I accidentally unbubbled Bismuth and she attacked me because she thought I was Rose, just like you, and I had to poof her… bubble her away again because she was too—too… dangerous."

Steven trailed off as the tears formed in his eyes and streamed down his cheeks, so he hid his face. Jasper looked away and said, in a low voice, "Stop." but it was too quiet for Steven to hear.

"I—I thought Rose Quartz was perfect, because the Gems always talked about her like she was. I thought she was kind, an-and—and merciful… but now—now I know that she's… she's no better than Homeworld. She's no better than—than the Diamonds! She lied to me, lied to Bismuth, lied to… to everyone, and then she had me just so she didn't have to deal with the guilt of it anymore, so that I could take the blame for what she did. All I do is remind everyone of her, and remind everyone of what—what she did…" He glanced down at his exposed gem and placed his hand over it. "I-I'm sorry, Jasper… I—I'm so sorry… th-that I…"

He gasped softly one two huge hands latched on his shoulders and lifted him effortlessly off of the ground, held up at arm's length in front of Jasper as she stared him down with her intense yellow eye. To his surprise, there wasn't a look of unadulterated rage burning within it. He didn't know what she was going to say and, honestly, he expected the worst... that is, until she actually spoke.

"Stop." Jasper said in a surprisingly calm tone of voice. She waited a second for Steven to say something, then continued, "You're not her, okay?"

"But–But I thought… y-you said…"

"I know what I said, but… that was a mistake. I don't know what you are, I don't know who you are, but you're not her. Rose Quartz was a selfish, manipulative clod, she wasn't all she was cracked up to be. But you, you're different. You've proven to me on several occasions that you're different, that you actually care and it isn't just some form of manipulation. You gave me another chance, you—you saved me, and that's something that Rose never would've done."

Steven didn't immediately respond, glancing away for a second, then looked back at Jasper. "Why—Why are you telling me this? This isn't like you."

"Because… I thought I was the only one who felt that way."

"Wh-What do you mean?"

"Because... I understand how you feel."

"Wh-What?"

"I always thought I was the only one who felt betrayed by Rose Quartz!" Her voice rose slightly as she dropped Steven back to the ground, one of his feet splashing into the water as he landed. Steven opened his mouth to ask her to clarify, but she beat him to the punch. "Pink Diamond called her perfect... the best Quartz of her type to come out of this hunk of rock. Rose even had me convinced. When I first met her, I saw a plump, soft... thing. I didn't know what she was, but she didn't look or even sound like any Quartz soldier I'd ever met. But then, I fought toe-to-toe with her for the first time, and I realized that I had doubted her, that I had… misjudged her."

Steven sat down beside her again, patiently waiting for her to continue.

"She was one of the most powerful, skilled, agile soldiers I had ever met, on par with the likes of… heh, me even. Pink Diamond saw us as her two best soldiers, and rightfully so. We even competed for the title of 'the perfect Quartz' from time to time, to the point it was like some sort of game between the two of us. I guess you could even say that we were…" Jasper gritted her teeth as she finished her sentence. "…friends, once." Stars entered Steven's eyes as he looked up at her. "But, besides the fact, I saw her as one of the only real Quartzes to emerge from the Earth, the only other Gem that was worthy enough to be considered my own equal.

"The Amethysts and Flints from Prime were too… childish, the other Jaspers and the Carnelians from Beta were too defective, but she was different! Different from all of them! And then, the Rebellion came. She told me she was going to Earth, that she planned on fighting on this planet's behalf and saving its inhabitants. She wanted me to join her, the nerve…" Jasper paused for a moment. "…but all I could do was send her away. She was a traitor, she betrayed me, she betrayed our Diamond… she betrayed everyone!" She opened her mouth to continue shouting before Steven rested a comforting hand on her shoulder, suddenly making her freeze up.

A couple of seconds passed before her tense, anxious form and her clenched fists relaxed, then she let out an explosive sigh and jerked away from Steven with an agitated grunt. All the half-Gem could do was hide a mildly amused snicker behind his hand. "I—I never wanted to see her again. I couldn't… or I would've shattered her on the spot! But… there was one last thing that I told her before we parted ways." Jasper trailed off, her face briefly twisting in confusion as if she had no idea why she was telling Steven all of this.

When she didn't continue for a good fifteen seconds, Steven decided to speak up. "And… what was that?"

There was a moment of silence before Jasper chuckled bitterly under her breath again. "Heh-heh… you really don't remember, do you?" Steven only shook his head slowly, and Jasper sighed. "Heh, I guess I should know better. I told her that if she didn't want me to shatter any of her… Crystal Gems, then she would spare the lives of Homeworld's soldiers in exchange." Steven's eyes widened in surprise at those words.

"What…? But… what do you mean? Why did you say that?"

"We fought on the same side once, we all did. Rose Quartz was never a shatterer, but she would if she was ordered to." Steven whimpered and suddenly felt nauseous at those words. "I could hardly bring myself to shatter the Gems I'd once fought alongside and sparred with. I couldn't shatter her, believe it or not… I was given the chance, but I couldn't. I just couldn't. It felt like we were sparring all over again and it just felt so wrong… well, until…" Jasper trailed off and didn't speak for a long time, so Steven chimed in and snapped her back to attention.

"Until… what?"

Jasper's eye widened slightly as she looked down at Steven, then it closed as she lowered her head, letting out a heavy, sorrowful sigh. Steven was so used to Jasper hiding her fear, her anxiety, and her sadness behind a laugh or at least a bitter chuckle, but this time, all he got was a soft exhale of air. It sounded foreign and a bit eerie, especially coming from a Quartz like Jasper.

"Until… the shattering of Pink Diamond."

Clocking in at almost 15,000 words! My longest chapter yet! Now, let's see if I can top that! XD

Finally got around to revising the ending. For those of you reading this chapter a second time, I changed the ending in its entirety because I decided the original had more holes in the plot than swiss cheese and I couldn't, for the life of me, make it work for the next chapter without almost completely negating canon. This may seem open-ended, but this is just leading into Jasper telling Steven about Pink Diamond and finding out the truth behind those dreams Steven had in chapter one. Yes, those dreams did have a purpose.

And, despite how passive Jasper is being towards Steven right now, she still has a looong way to go. At best, she's on the same level as Lapis back in Ocean Gem and Mirror Gem, docile and friendly towards Steven Universe. And only Steven Universe, but don't worry, that'll change over time. Before too long, Jasper will accept Steven as her 'moral compass' sorta and he'll begin to help her improve her relationship with the other Gems. Don't worry, we're getting there.

Oh, and more footage for the next episode(s) of season five, including a release date... sorta. Winter, that's all we know (which could be late November or early March 2018). Buuut let's focus on the hype right now, shall we? Without spoiling too much, you can sum it all up as: Steven and Connie have a falling out, Jasper and Bismuth have confirmed redemption arcs, Smokey Quartz is going to reappear, Stevonnie will also reappear... eventually, Lapis may or may not leave the Earth, and Lars says "Bingo! Bongo!" again. It's all worthy of one big "holy sh**", y'know?

Alright, as per usual, stay tuned for chapter nine! And, hopefully, the wait is finally coming to an end!