Note:

This by far was on of the harder moments I had to write. I personally didn't want to write in this direction but it is coming down the line and what great super couple hasn't gone through ups and down. The important things is they will make it through eventually.

Ciara drummed her pencil on the bar counter absentmindedly waiting for her shift to end. It was almost six o'clock she thought it was unlike Ben to not have been her by now waiting for her to get off her shift. She tried to not let it get to her but things have changed so much between her family and Ben ever since he saved her from the second cabin fire. Ciara smiled slightly at the memory of being able to prove those closest to her wrong about Ben and he was that kind, caring and compassionate person she knew he had become. The bell chime from someone coming into the pub brought her back to reality.

Ben strolled in to the relief of Ciara but the look on his face sent her stomach plummeting to the floor. Leaving her area unattended she made her way over to him and pulled him into a hug.

"Whats wrong?" She said while searching him over for any outward signs that he was physically hurt.

"I am fine, I went to go see Jordan at Bayview."

"What happened?"

"Let's talk about this when we get you back home. For now just finish up your shift."

"We can go right now, I will just let uncle Roman know I am leaving now."

"Wait right here, please don't go anywhere without me Ben."

"I, wont" He stated knowing there was no point in fighting Ciara on this.

Back at the loft Ben sat on the couch while Ciara rubbed the back of his hands. He was so lost in thought he barely reacted to his name being called by her.

"Ben, you are scaring me what is going on?"

Ben released one of his hands free and rub the back of his neck.

"We shouldn't be together."

"What do you mean we shouldn't?"

"I mean I cannot trust myself to not let my dark side out, I am not sure that the monster I am will never come out again."

"Ben?" She whispered as if someone punched her in the gut.

"Why are you doing this? I thought you wanted us to end up together."

"I do more then anything." He said as her caressed her cheek wiping the tears that started to fall.

"Ciara, look at me" He said when she refused to meet his gaze.

Ciara lifted her head and with tear filled eyes she looked at Ben face and deep down she knew he meant what he was saying. He really did not think they should be together, but she could not understand why.

"I saw Jordan today and I tired to apologize to her for almost hurting her in the hospital room."

"And she said that it's okay, I can't help myself. It's who I am, it's who I will alway be."

"Ben, you were protecting me."

"No Ciara, yes, I made sure you were out of harms way for sure but I was enraged. I wanted to kill my sister. I heard you yelling that I was not a killer anymore, that I was better than this. And believe me I tried to stop for you but I couldn't. If Rafe had not come in when he did I would have killed my sister."

"I can't trust myself to not turn into that monster every time someone tries to hurt you, or that I might not hurt you unintentionally if I can't break free."

"No" Ciara said.

"This is not something that is up for discussion, I have thought long and hard about this and I never want to be the reason you are constantly in harms way. First it was Claire then Jordan. I won't give myself the opportunity to be next.

"I said no," She said a little louder this time.

"I get you may not want to be with me right now because you are doubting yourself but I will not give up on you Ben Weston."

Ben was slightly taken a back by Ciara's strength.

"I believe in you and I will alway be there for you regardless of how hard you try to push me away."

"How did I ever get so lucky for you to have such faith in me?" Ben said.

"You took care of me after Chad had left you in the middle of nowhere after running you out of town. You had every reason to turn your back on all humanity but you didn't."

"There is so much good in you that you have yet to see, and I want to be there by your side as you discover them."

Ben could not hold in the tears anymore and began to cry into Ciara's open arms.

"You have to believe the fact that I would want nothing more than to be with you Ciara but at this moment I can't trust myself to not lose control."

"Do you understand me?" He asked.

"You know I do." She said.

"I just need some time to figure who I am now."

"We both do, and I promise you, we will do it together." Ciara said with confidence.

"I love you, Ben."

"I love you too, Ciara."

"We will get through this and will be that much stronger for it, I have faith in us." Ciara said.

Ben and Ciara sat there for an immeasurable amount of time just hugging and holding one another. Giving comfort to the other that neither one of them knew they needed. Deep down inside they both knew they were meant to be together and would eventually find their way back to one another but for now the fact that they would still be in each others life meant the most to them…To be continued.