Chapter 4. Discoveries
~2x5~ Hoagie's Discovery
Ever since he first knocked on Abby's classroom door, Hoagie joined her in the evenings, helping her research the mysterious Kids Next Door. He loved every second of it, he loved getting to hang out with someone as cool and confident as Abby Lincoln. He'd watch her, leaning casually on the blackboard, writing up numbers, one hip jutting out, wiping the chalk dust on the back of her brown shorts, and then she'd turn around and catch him staring at her. He'd hastily look back down at the newspaper articles he was supposed to be sorting and hoped his ears weren't furiously red.
Sometimes it felt like she was looking at him too, but when he looked up at her, her cap was always pulled low over her eyes so he couldn't tell what she was really looking at. It was probably just Hoagie's imagination running wild, anyways.
Some days though, Abby would pack up early and tell Hoagie to go home. Then the next day, she would mysteriously have a cool new Kids Next Door device for Hoagie to play with, or a new 2x4 blueprint for him to decipher. Sometimes she'd even come back with scratches on her arms or a bandaged hand, and she'd try to hide this from Hoagie. But he noticed. He tried asking her about it, where she got these artifacts and where she went on those nights she left early. But she always waved him off, answering vaguely about finding the artifacts in the dumpster or accidentally cutting her hand while cooking.
Whether or not Hoagie believed her, he still looked forward to seeing her after school every day. He even forgot about being banned from Yipper club, and eating lunch alone all the time wasn't bothering him as much anymore. The only other person who would stop by on rare occasions was a classmate of Abby's called Lenny, a reticent boy who said little but stared at Hoagie through the dark slats of his football helmet (did he ever take that thing off? Every time he saw Lenny, he got a vision of him wearing the helmet even in the shower, and had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing). Abby would tell Lenny their latest findings, and sometimes they would go retrieve Kids Next Door artifacts together. Abby said they could trust Lenny, but that didn't mean Hoagie liked him any better. Or that he approved of Abby and Lenny going off on missions together.
One evening, Hoagie was shuffling through old newspaper articles, looking for mentions of weird artifacts or misbehaving children. It was kind of boring, but he didn't want to admit it to Abby. He wasn't even sure what she was looking for. "Anything out of the ordinary," she told him. "Anything that could be connected to the Kids Next Door. Anything that leads back to the source of the Kids Next Door…"
"Could you please be more vague?" he teased and she gave a snort.
"Don't get too involved, boy, this work can be dangerous. If you go looking for trouble, you're gonna get hurt." Hoagie felt a little hurt. It was like she didn't believe Hoagie could handle more than shuffling papers, like he wasn't good enough for going on missions with her. He sighed. It was still better than hanging out alone after school.
Keep looking for the source of the Kids Next Door, whatever that meant. An image in a recent newspaper caught his eye. A pirate, red-faced, bushy-bearded, growling at the camera, surrounded by a shipload of glittering candy. PIRATE SHIP ROAMS AND LOOTS LOCAL NEIGHBORHOODS, said the headline.
Hoagie drooled. What he would give for a bite of that sweet candy… He frowned. Something just occurred to him. If candy had always been illegal for anyone under 18, how did he know what it tasted like?
Something else caught his eye in the picture. Amongst the hordes of wrapped candies, he saw a box, something like a device with buttons on it, that looked vaguely familiar. With a flash of inspiration he recognized it.
"Abby, look!" He pulled up one of the 2x4 blueprints and pointed at the photograph. "The Kids Next Door code module is in this photograph!"
Abby raised the newspaper to her eyes. The little box in the photo looked identical to the diagram Hoagie pulled out, a blueprint for something called the C.O.D.E.-M.O.D.U.L.E.
"According to the schematic, the code module is a biologically-activated device that contains a record of every Kids Next Door operative ever-" he said, and was interrupted as Abby threw her arms him in a hug that felt like a chokehold.
"Hoagie, this is great! This is a major breakthrough!" She let go of him and rambled, thinking aloud. "Finally, I can track down who used to be in the Kids Next Door. They might be decommissioned, but maybe they'll be able to remember something useful..." She looked sternly back at the newspaper article. She was deep in thought.
"Pirates, why did it have to be pirates." She locked her jaw and pursed her lips in concentration, as though mentally preparing herself for something. "It's risky. But Abby can deal with that." She frowned at Hoagie, and he had a premonition of what was coming.
"Thanks Hoagie, I think we're done for tonight."
He almost asked if he could stay, itching to find out what she was going to do with this new information, but she turned away from him and he couldn't bring himself to bug her about it. He'd find out tomorrow, he hoped.
"What the hell is he doing?"
Hoagie pointed and Abby followed his finger to the vending machine, where Wally was jamming quarters into the coin slot. His arms were full of snack bars but he kept putting in more money and pulling more and more chocobars out of the machine.
Sonya and Lee were waiting patiently behind him, but she burst into tears when Wally took the last coconut-chocolate bar.
"Was that the last one? I wanted a choco-coco bar!"
Wally glared at the two freshman underneath his armful of snacks. "Too bad! I need these!"
Sonya cried and Lee put his arm around her shoulders to comfort her.
"Not cool," he told Wally, who rolled his eyes and ran away with his load of bars.
"Isn't Wally allergic to coconut?" Abby asked Hoagie, who shrugged, because he was as confused as she was.
"So," he said, grinning like a kid on Christmas Eve. "What're we researching today? Any luck with the Kids Next Door code module last night?"
Abby shushed him. "Hoagie, don't talk so loudly."
"Sorry." He flinched. "I forgot that people at school make fun of you for believing in the Kids Next Door."
Abby scrunched her brows and looked down the hall distractedly. 'What? Oh no, it's not that, it's…" but she trailed off and wouldn't finish her sentence.
Hoagie couldn't help feeling Abby's mind was elsewhere. "Same time later today?" he said hopefully, walking with her towards the cafeteria. A vision slipped into his mind, maybe more of a daydream, where he and Abby would get to a table, but instead of parting ways, she'd look at him smiling, and ask if he wanted to join her for lunch today. Then they'd swap funny stories about their teachers and maybe even trade bits of their lunches, like elementary kids did. Some string cheese for a bite of a sandwich. An orange slice for three sips of apple juice. He'd tell funny food-related jokes and she'd laugh hysterically. People would curiously look over at their table and be jealous, wondering how that loser Hoagie Gilligan was managing to have lunch with someone as cool and mysterious as Abby Lincoln.
"Uh-" said Abby, still distracted, and Hoagie's fantasy poofed away back into reality. He realized he'd never seen her eat lunch in the cafeteria before. She probably did way cooler things during lunch than sit in the cafeteria. Abby froze.
"Shhh, do you hear that?" They were about to round the corner, but instead, Abby suddenly pushed him up against the lockers and held him there, and he could feel her breath on his cheek. His hands started to feel sweaty.
In the distance, there was a dull thunk that was getting louder. Hoagie recognized it.
"Do you mean Principal Smelling? That sounds like the cane he uses."
Sure enough, the principal strolled down the hallway, his wooden cane thumping the floor ahead of him. He gave the two teenagers a hateful glare as he passed.
Abby's muscles relaxed and she took her forearm off of Hoagie's chest.
"False alarm." She shook her head, and Hoagie was worried. He had never seen her so tense before.
"You know what, Hoagie," she said, still not looking at him. "I- I don't think I'll need your help today."
"Oh, ok," he said, trying not to sound too disappointed. "I can come by tomorrow then."
"-Or tomorrow," she said. "I don't- I- Abby can work on her own. Your debt is paid."
Hoagie stood dumbly. He didn't want to have to admit it so bluntly, but now he had to. "But I like helping you."
Abby wouldn't stop glancing up and down the hallways, like she was expecting a ghost to pop out and frighten her any second. Something felt really wrong. She finally said to him, "No, Hoagie. Trust me, it's for your own good. You don't want to help me."
"But I do! Please? I don't mind. I can do the boring stuff, I'll alphabetize everything for you, I really like helping you, I do-"
That must've been the wrong thing to say because Abby suddenly had a painful expression on her face.
"Hoagie-" she started. "I don't need- I don't- I don't want you helping me."
"Why?!"
"Because." She couldn't look at him. "Because you're annoying!"
Silence washed over them. His mind felt numb. "Oh. Ok then."
Abby pulled her red cap low over her eyes, shrouding her face so Hoagie couldn't look at her, and she walked away, away from the cafeteria, away from Hoagie.
So that's the way it was. Everything he thought was or might be, wasn't.
Hoagie floated slowly to the corner of the cafeteria, feeling as though he had no legs. He unpacked his brown paper bag lunch onto the table. The usual. A squished, shrink-wrapped sandwich. A juice box. Some string cheese.
"Hey Hoagie!" called a voice from across the cafeteria.
He looked up, startled. It was Valerie, sitting next to Marybeth and some of her friends. "Watch this," she told them, and reached into her bag. Her fingers pulled out a white egg and she pretended to throw it.
Hoagie instinctively flinched.
Valerie laughed. "Hahaha, Hoagie the dork is afraid of eggs! He's so weird! Maybe that's why he doesn't have any friends to sit with at lunch." Marybeth shrieked with laughter.
His face burned. Ignore them, ignore them. He slowly opened the sandwich as he sat alone in the cafeteria. Again.
~3x4~ Plan C for Coconut
"Y'know, I saw the weirdeth thing yethterday," said Herbert, vigorously rubbing lotion onto his arms.
"I was looking through my telethcope at Cathiopeia- that's a conthtellation- and I could swear I saw a star I've never seen before! I looked it up on the computer, but I couldn't find anything! And when I looked back through the telethcope, it was gone!"
"Wow!" Kuki exclaimed, handing him another bottle of ointment for his eczema. "D'you think those were aliens watching us?"
"Don't be ridiculouth," lisped Herbert. "If there was intelligent life out there, we would know about it."
He leaned in to Kuki, whispering, "But I'll tell you a secret- if you look at the moon during the right time of the month, in the right light, you can see the remains of some old ruined building. And it's pink."
Kuki gasped. "Oh my gosh, I love pink! That means aliens love pink too!"
He clucked his tongue in disappointment. "No no no, Kuki. That pink thing on the moon, it's a government conspiracy is what it is. I bet it's the Russians, who knows what they're up to on the moon…"
He was interrupted as the door slammed open and in walked a creature with a red and enormously swollen face.
"Monster!" screamed Herbert and fell off the bed in the nurse's office.
"Oh, hi Wally!" beamed Kuki.
"Mreeeehhh raaahhhh," groaned the monster unintelligibly. "Frraaah."
"You're saying you have a severe coconut allergy and you accidentally ate a bunch of coconut bars? Well, I have just the thing for that!" She pulled out a needle and flicked it.
"Nwergd! Graaaahhh!"
"No, it won't hurt a bit! Just stand still…"
The monster lunged forward and tried to grab the needle from Kuki's hand. She sidestepped him and ducked under his arms. He turned and chased her across the room, and she dodged and zipped by him with some kind of unnatural agility. Try as he might, he could not catch her.
He turned to find her facing him, grinning, needle in hand. Her eyes grew wide.
"Oh my gosh, what's that!?"
"Wraaad?" Wally turned, startled, just as Kuki gave him the shot in the side of his face.
"Mmmraah!"
She smiled widely at him. "That wasn't so bad, was it?"
Herbert stared up at them, cowering underneath the bed. "Are- are you even allowed to do that? Don't you need some kind of medical degree or something to give somebody a shot!?"
"I told you, I'm certified in both CPR and First Aid!" Kuki replied crossly, and led Wally to a bed to lie down on.
The swelling was starting to go down on his face, and as Kuki sat by his side, she was grinning ear-to-ear, and realized she didn't even need to fake her happiness to see him.
Wally and Kuki sat side-by-side on one of the nurse's beds. She had been teaching him how to wrap gauze around various parts of his body, then handed the gauze to him so he could practice. But then he pretended to wrap the bandage around her eyes so she couldn't see. So she had thrown some cotton balls at him, and he had thrown some Band-Aids at her, and now they were sitting next to each other covered in various bits of gauze and cotton and bandages, giggling.
Herbert was long gone, so it was just the two of them.
"Hey Kuki, can I ask you something? What made you...uh, why were you in the pool the other day?"
"Oh, um." Kuki didn't have a good answer for him. She pulled at a lock of her hair, twisting it around her finger, then letting it uncurl. If she told him the truth, he would think she was crazy.
"I, uh, I saw something in the water," she mumbled. "Like a ghost, or something."
"A ghost? What do you mean?"
"It's no big deal," she said quickly, staring at the ground, feeling the red flooding her cheeks. Keep it together, Kuki, she told herself. Or he's gonna think you're weird. "I just- I just see things somethings. Like, from my dreams. It's silly, forget I said anything."
"No, it's not silly. Your dream, was it like… was it like a recurring memory? Something that you sort of remember, but can't?"
Kuki looked up at Wally. She nodded hesitantly. "I'm not sure if it's a memory or a recurring nightmare," she whispered. "But it's one where I'm trapped in a dark room, crying, alone forever… and I feel like I'm about to die in a way but then I wake up."
He nodded back at her gravely. "I have the same thing. This dream, this memory, where I'm running down a corridor, but no matter how fast I run, I can never make it to the end. I'm on a really important mission, I can't remember what, I think I have to deliver some kind of message, but I'm always too late."
"You don't think these… memories... are connected in some way, do you?"
"I don't know." Wally shrugged. "I don't know."
The two of them gazed at the floor, lost in thought. It felt like all the answers were there, on the tip of Wally's tongue, like he knew exactly what he wanted to say, but he just couldn't remember what it was.
He suddenly looked up in surprise. "Hey! I just realized something. You never tried to give me a get-better kiss this time!"
In a baby-voice she retorted, "Aw, did wittle Wally want one?" and giggled.
"What!? No! I mean, you're lucky that my face got better without it…"
She giggled again and he wondered whether his face was turning red.
"It's probably too late now, right?" he said, looking up into Kuki's dark eyes between slats of blond hair. "Or- or maybe I'm not all better yet?"
Kuki caught his eyes and suddenly found it very hard to look away. "You tell me, where does it hurt?"
Her eyes were big and dark and sparkling, her hair shimmering. She was leaning close enough to him that he could count the lashes on her eyes. "This hurts," said Wally roughly, pointing to his arm, still red from his bee stings. He thought for a second. "And here," he said, pointing to his cheek, even though the swelling was mostly gone. "...and here." He pointed at his mouth.
Her heart started beating very fast. She looked at him with eyes dark like the night sky, Wally's were deep green like the ocean, and she was almost touching him, almost forgetting how undesirable she was, and she wondered, just wondered what would happen if she...
The door slammed open, and Hoagie stood panting at the entrance.
"Guys, you gotta help me! It's Abby- she's in trouble!"
~2x5x3x4~ Bar Brawl
"What happened, Hoagie?" Kuki asked as Hoagie stood at the entrance trying to catch his breath.
"She- she-" he wheezed, doubled over, and raised a finger. "One sec- I just ran- all the way- from her secret classroom-"
Wally frowned. "Isn't that like 3 doors down from here?"
Hoagie nodded and grabbed a stitch in his side, catching his breath.
"She's missing!"
Hoagie explained that Abby had been acting weird today, though he left out the part about her saying he was annoying. Even though she told him not to, he went to check on her after school anyways. And when he got there, she was gone, but all her stuff was still there- backpack, wallet, phone- as well as several candy wrappers littering the floor.
He immediately assumed the worst. "I think she was kidnapped… by pirates!"
Kuki gasped, eyes wide and terrified. "How can we find where they've taken her? I don't know anything about candy pirates except that they like to drink root beer!"
Wally scratched his chin. "Root beer? My friend Joe knows all about root beer. He's always talking about this one place downtown…"
The alleys downtown were cold, damp, and smelled like mildew. The three teenagers crouched beneath an old sign reading Lime Ricky's, hanging above a dirty yellow window, the only light on the street, loud voices laughing on the other side.
"Are we sure she's in there?" whispered Kuki.
Hoagie replied, "Hold on, I'll check."
He stood up and pressed his face against the yellow window. Inside, there was a grungy bar, a handful of pirates gulping down root beer, and in the back corner, a girl with her hands tied with rope, looking very angry, hanging from the rafters.
"That's her! She's in there!" Hoagie exclaimed and motioned frantically for the others to follow him. "Let's go!"
"Wait, what's the plan?" asked Wally, but it was too late- Hoagie had already burst into the bar, followed by Wally and Kuki, and the bar went quiet. Dozens of beady pirate eyes stared at them.
Hoagie stared back at the group of pirates standing between them and Abby. Crud, he didn't think this through all the way, did he?
"What are you doing here? Abby told you to leave her alone!" yelled the girl who was tied up. "You shouldn't have come looking for me!"
Kuki and Wally popped up behind him and Abby started yelling louder. "You brought them? What is wrong with you! Can't you see this is dangerous? You're all going to get hurt!"
"Shuddup ye snot-nosed brats!" A voice boomed across the room. There was a thunking noise as an enormous pirate trundled in next to Abby, peg leg thumping the floor, his bushy beard studded with lollipops. Captain Stickybeard placed his shiny hook on her cheek. "These yer friends? Yer accomplices, helping you steal my property?"
"No!" she shouted. "They have nothing to do with this. They were just leaving! Abby will handle this herself!"
How she was going to "handle this herself" was unclear; she swung slowly on her rope and couldn't even wiggle her hands. It didn't stop her from shouting at the three teenagers. "Just GO!" she yelled. "Please, before you get hurt!" she begged.
The roomful of pirates snickered amongst themselves.
"No."
Wally stepped forward, to everybody's surprise.
"No," he repeated. "We're not leaving you."
Kuki and Hoagie stepped forward with Wally.
"Well, looks like yeh've got more friends than ye thought!" sneered Stickybeard. He lowered his voice to a growl.
"Get 'em."
Every pirate in the bar took one last swig of root beer and stood up. Suddenly it seemed like the handful of pirates had multiplied into dozens, and Hoagie realized just how much he underestimated the number of pirates in the bar.
Thirty or so pirates approached them, grinning and reaching out to them like children grabbing for candy.
Hoagie froze, but it was too late to make it back out of the bar now. Oh crud. Oh crud! Now what?!
Wally roared and charged headfirst into the crowd of pirates. Some of them surrounded Kuki and tried to grab her, but she ducked and twirled and somehow danced her way out of their grasps. One snaggle-toothed pirate eyed Hoagie in particular and approached him, snarling.
Hoagie put up two fists. Oh god, ok, just like Wally's lessons. Rule number one of fighting… what was rule number one again?
The pirate punched with a yellow hand.
Oh right, duck!
He ducked in the nick of time. Another fist came swinging at his side. He jumped back. Dodged again!
Meanwhile, Kuki danced around pirates and zipped away from their grabby hands, until she found herself above the crowd, and here she hopped from one pirate's head to the next, all the way across the room towards Stickybeard.
"Ooh, candy!" She cried and reached for the lollipops in his bushy beard. He yelled and tried to stop her, swatting at her like he was trying to get rid of a pesky fly.
Hoagie was still locked in his one-on-one fight. The snaggletoothed pirate growled, unrelenting, moving towards Hoagie. He didn't know how long he'd be able to keep dodging these hits, he needed to buy some time! Rule number two of fighting…
Hoagie looked around him. This would have to do. He pushed over the tables in front of him and threw chairs at the oncoming pirate, slowing him down.
Rule number three… the punch. This was it, he had nothing left. He balled his hand. Thumb on the outside. Lift it. Lead with the knuckles. Follow through!
Hoagie threw his punch and bopped the pirate on the nose. "Ouch!" yelled the pirate through his snaggletoothed mouth and stepped back. He foot got caught on a fallen table and he stumbled back, crashed into a pile of chairs, bounced off the wall, hit his head on the doorway, and then crumpled onto the floor.
Hoagie stared in disbelief. "I… did it! Guys! Wally! Wally, look! I did it!"
"RAAAAAAAAAAH!" Wally bellowed. He was holding two pirates by their beards and swinging them around his head, smashing them into the crowd, knocking over dozens of candy pirates at a time like bowling pins.
"Wally, look! I, I… nevermind."
Wally flashed him an incredulous look. "Well, GO!" he yelled and pointed at Abby. With Stickybeard distracted by Kuki, and Wally beating up every other pirate in the bar, nobody was guarding Abby.
"Right!" Hoagie squeaked and dashed through the room towards the captive hanging from the rafters. "Hey there," he told Abby. "How's it hangin'?"
"Oh, shut up and hurry!"
He reached into his back pocket, pulled out his multi-tool, and chopped his way through the ropes. Abby fell to the ground.
Kuki frolicked around Stickybeard and gave him one last pat on the head. "Bye-bye! Time to go!" She hopped over to Hoagie and Abby.
Hoagie pulled Abby up by the hand. "All right, let's go!"
"No, wait! The module!"
Abby wriggled free from Hoagie's grasp and charged at Stickybeard, who in turn lunged at her. Mid-jump, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a wooden contraption, spring-loaded, wood-planked, that snapped open onto his face with a satisfying splank!
He reeled back, howling, which gave Abby the perfect opportunity to swipe something from inside his coat.
"Got it! Let's go!"
She dashed out, followed by Hoagie and Kuki, grabbing Wally who was still beating up a mob of pirates.
"That's right!" Wally yelled as he was pulled out the door by his hood, angrily shaking his fist. "That'll teach you to mess with us!"
The four teens sprinted all the way back to school, flush with excitement. They couldn't stop talking about it.
"Holy crud, that was amazing! Did you see their faces?!"
"Kuki, you were hopping like a cat over all of them!"- Kuki beamed -"And Wally, oh my god, what a monster!"- even Wally couldn't help the smile on his face.
Hoagie was probably the most excited, recounting how he had knocked out one of the pirates in a single punch. "Did anybody see that?! It was textbook! Perfect! No? Wally? Kuki? Nobody saw it?"
"I saw it," grinned Abby, and Hoagie lit up all over again.
Meanwhile, Wally tapped Kuki's arm again. "You're definitely ok? You didn't get hurt, did you?"
She shook her head, shiny black hair tumbling around her shoulders.
"Oh, good," he touched her cheek lightly, as if he were worried about any cuts or bruises that she might have missed. He had already asked how she was doing 15 minutes earlier, but he wanted to ask again, to be extra sure, and it made Kuki smile.
"Hey, Hoagie," Abby said, and motioned to the side with her head. Hoagie obliged and joined her aside from Wally and Kuki, who were now giggling about something or other.
She looked at the ground and spoke in a harsh tone. "Hoagie, I specifically told you not to help me. I said I didn't want your help, and I definitely didn't want you to come after me."
Hoagie cringed. That's right, he had almost forgotten that Abby didn't want him around anymore.
"...But if it weren't for you, I'd still be trapped. I guess- I guess I'm glad you didn't listen to me. It was dumb of me to think I could handle stealing the code module on my own. I thought I got away with it last night without anybody seeing me, but somehow the pirates found out and were furious that I'd stolen the code module. Then they kidnapped me after school to take it back. And then you saved me, even though I was a jerk to you. You're a better person than I am, Hoagie."
Hoagie gave a bittersweet smile. "I'm just glad you're ok…"
"And, um," she looked uneasy, and fiddled with her gold bracelets. "I don't think you're annoying, Hoagie. I- I think you're- I mean, I just said that so you'd leave me alone and so you wouldn't get hurt."
She was looking down at her bracelets but Hoagie was elated. "Well, I didn't get hurt! And I got to beat up a pirate today!" His eyes gleamed behind his glasses. "Does that mean I can still help you with your research?"
Abby stared at him. "You still want to help me after the way I treated you?"
"Hell yeah! It's like the best part of my week!"
And Abby broke out into a grin that she just couldn't suppress. "Ok," she said.
"Hello!" Kuki popped her head up between the two of them. "Anybody want a lollipop?" Kuki pulled out a handful of lollipops from her pocket and began licking one.
"Sure, I'll take one." Abby reached out. "...wait a sec." Something seemed off about those lollipops. Abby looked closer and saw they were covered with little brown hairs.
"Kuki, you didn't steal those from-"
"From Stickybeard's beard? Yeah, I did!" She smiled with blue teeth.
"Ugh, gross!" The other teens gagged and then laughed.
"Sweetie, don't eat those, just give them to Abby," Abby chuckled, took the lollipops from Kuki, and pocketed them, where she felt her hand bump against something else. The code module! She'd almost forgotten about it. But suddenly she realized she didn't want to examine it yet; it could wait. Now, all she wanted to do was hang out with her friends.
And perhaps for now that was a good thing, because the information on that code module would change her mind about everything, including the people she thought were her friends.
~5~ The Code Module
It was just Abby and the code module sitting in the classroom. It was late, everyone else had gone home hours ago, and the sky was blanketed in tar-black darkness.
Abby held the module in her hands and it felt like anticipation, like this little plastic device could tell her everything about the Kids Next Door, the secret organization that had stolen her childhood. She couldn't wait any longer to discover its secrets.
She pushed a button and it hummed to life. Her heart was beating fast. The screen flashed. INSERT SPECIMEN it read.
Specimen? What kind of specimen, like a blood sample? Abby didn't feel much like stabbing herself. A crazy idea popped into her mind, she had no clue where it came from, but it just felt like a logical choice. She jammed her finger into her nose and then put it into the machine.
It lit up. ACCESS GRANTED.
ENTER NUMBUH prompted the module.
Well, where else to start than at number 1?
She typed in 001 and a picture of a bald boy in a red turtleneck popped up on screen. Numbuh 1, Nigel Uno, Leader of Sector V, last known possessor of the Book of KND, highest-ranking operative during the 8th age of the Kids Next Door… Abby scrolled through the biography but none of it meant anything to her. She had never seen this boy before in her life.
The last line caught her attention, though. Mysteriously disappeared at age 10, it read, Never seen again.
Strange. Not much she could do with this information though.
She hit the arrow on the side of the module, the number changed to 002, and Abby dropped it in shock when she saw the picture. She picked it back up with trembling fingers.
She knew this face. It was chubbier and wearing yellow goggles, but it was unmistakably Hoagie.
This explained why he knew so much about Kids Next Door technology. But why would he pretend not to know about the Kids Next Door itself? It didn't make sense. Was he lying to her? Or had his memories been erased?
Her stomach was starting to feel sick. She punched the button on the side again.
Her heart jumped again. It was Kuki, sweet, innocent, little Kuki. How could she be a part of this as well?
With fingers like lead, she hit the button for the next entry.
Wally's boyish face peered up at her. Oh no, not him too. Abby had trusted these people, she considered them her friends, and now she wasn't sure if they were lying to her or if they'd all somehow been brainwashed.
Confused and with a heavy heart, she went to the next number.
No.
It couldn't be.
Next to Numbuh 005 and above the name Abigail Lincoln, her own picture looked back at her, tight-lipped, arms crossed, red cap casting a shadow over her face. Former Sector V member, Soopreme Leader of the Kids Next Door, Top candidate for TND…
Abby's heart froze, it couldn't be true! It was all coming together, why everything was so vaguely familiar and strange at the same time. It was brainwashing, it had to be! All of them- Abby, Hoagie, Kuki, Wally- were brainwashed by the Kids Next Door. All their memories of the Kids Next Door, erased. All their memories of each other, erased.
And thanks to having her memories erased, Abby was a lost soul. No childhood, no friends, just her classmates calling her crazy for believing in the Kids Next Door. What was the point of all of it then, if she couldn't remember any of it? Abby couldn't help feeling that there must have been some sort of mistake, like she shouldn't have been decommissioned. The Kids Next Door wouldn't just rip away her childhood and her future like that, would they? Would they?
~5x2x3x4~ The Misfits Lunch Table
Normally, the four of them would never be caught dead sitting at the same lunch table. An airhead, a loser, a delinquent, and a freak sharing lunch? Not even school textbook covers were that diverse. But today, Abby called them together for an urgent meeting, and it was the first time the four of them had ever hung out together during school.
Abby decided they were her friends and she should trust them, so she told them everything she found out from the code module- how they had been in the Kids Next Door and how they'd had their memories erased.
But they didn't seem as fazed by it as Abby. Hoagie kept devouring what looked like a peanut butter and gummy worm sandwich, Kuki picked daintily at her salad, and Wally, who didn't have a lunch, just shrugged.
"So?" he said. "It doesn't change anything. If we can't remember it, it's like it never happened anyways." He was trying hard not to look at the other lunches.
"But don't you want to know what happened?" Abby insisted. "It's not like we just forgot some random thing that happened to us as kids, this is years of our lives that we can't remember! If I can just find out what happened to the Kids Next Door, who destroyed them, maybe they can find a way to restore my memory…"
"I dunno, maybe Wally has a point," Hoagie said, and Wally looked surprised to hear Hoagie defending him. "What's past is past, it's not gonna change who we are now. Uhhh, did you want some?" He noticed Wally staring intently at his sandwich. "I made 6 today so I don't mind giving you one."
"Pff, I don't need your charity," scoffed Wally, but five seconds later he changed his mind. "Oh, just give me the damn sandwich," he said, snatched one of Hoagie's extras, and wolfed it down in one bite.
Peanut butter and gummy worm was surprisingly delicious.
Abby wasn't happy. "Guys, you don't understand. That stuff about me, about us, in the code module, Sector V, Soopreme Leader, Top candidate for TND, I feel like it's part of who I am, or who I was meant to be. I can't imagine it was all for nothing, I feel like I'm supposed to be something more than just a- just a-"
"Dumb teenager?" offered Wally.
"Yeah," she said. "That. Don't you guys feel it too, like you were meant for something more? More than waking up, going to class, feeling bored, feeling like no one gets you, being surrounded by people who are mean to you… Be honest you guys, are you happy the way you are now?"
She looked around the table. Everyone was quietly looking down- Hoagie, who was grateful to have at least one lunch where he wasn't sitting alone, Wally, who was on the brink of getting expelled from school, and Kuki, who was having more and more trouble trying to look "happy" all the time.
"It wasn't all for nothing," whispered Kuki. The others stared at her. "We used to be a team, back when we were in that sector together in the Kids Next Door. And now we're sort of a team again. It's kind of like fate, isn't it?"
Abby's face softened and she smiled. "Yes, Kuki. Even though we forgot we used to be friends, we found each other again, didn't we?"
If nothing more, they had each other. The four of them exchanged bittersweet smiles.
Who was not smiling was Ashley. She saw them huddled together on the far side of the cafeteria, and she was livid. She dug her claw into Lenny, sitting across from her, and yanked him up. She found Constance, whispered into her ear, and then she stood up too. Lastly, she grabbed Bruce and dragged them all off, her face flushed red with anger, to have a secret meeting of their own.
Ashley was so mad, she was spitting on their faces.
"How could you guys let this happen? Infinity is going to be so pissed!"
Constance and Bruce cringed and exchanged terrified glances. Only Lenny looked calm, as if he didn't really care what the former Sector V members were up to. Or maybe it was the giant football helmet that was blocking his face, so you couldn't tell what he was thinking.
Ashley took a moment to compose herself, then flipped back her dirty blonde hair. "Alright, here's the plan, dum-dums. If we want to keep them from discovering something that could destroy everything, we're gonna have to break them up. We're gonna have to hit them where it hurts the most…"
And she whispered her plan to her blue-eyed siblings.
~1~ Don't Touch the Green Rain
Though it had been cool and rainy the previous night, the day brought nothing but muggy weather, with heat shimmering over the fields, settling onto their skins like a hot heavy blanket that they couldn't shake off.
Nigel led the way, traipsing through the scratchy, thigh-high fields, keeping an eye on the one-lane highway in the distance leading back to the city. A short bus ride it had been, but a long walk back through the fields. Now that he was leading a band of vigilante children, it was even more imperative that they stay away from adults.
Raya scampered behind Nigel, eager to keep up with his big strides, even though her forehead was plastered with sweat. Jackson marched behind her, not complaining nor saying anything, though he refused to take off his beanie even during the hottest part of the day. Next came Jessica, closely followed by Sammy, who at every break wanted to make sure she was drinking enough water, and Joey brought up the rear, using his staff as a walking stick.
Once it cooled down enough so he wasn't panting like a dog, Nigel told them more stories from the Kids Next Door as they walked. The Great White Asparagus was a hit. So were tales of Captain Stickybeard and his gang of evil candy pirates. He told them about each sector and their treehouse headquarters. He told them about the huge stores of candy reserves and laws protecting rainbow monkeys and other stuffed animals (Jessica grinned and hugged her bunny). He told them about the Kids Next Door's recruit training programs, where cadets learned the basics of Kids Next Door weapons and fighting (to which Raya got excited and karate-chopped Nigel's shin. "Like that? Am I doing it right?"). He told them of Moon Base, where the Soopreme Leader of the Kids Next Door resided (Joey listened in awe), Arctic Prison Base, where the most heinous adult villains were kept (Jackson chuckled to himself) and the Deep Sea Lab, where the latest 2x4 technology was always being developed (Sammy furrowed his brow).
"What happened to these places? Are they still around?" asked Raya.
Nigel didn't know. "Well, they were probably abandoned after-" After what, exactly? How had the GKND destroyed the Kids Next Door? Nigel couldn't remember.
"I wish we could go back in time," said Jessica sadly. "The world sounds like a much nicer place back when the Kids Next Door existed."
"Yeah, well, the Kids Next Door don't exist anymore," said Sammy in a bitter voice. "All that's left of it is some teenager who we don't know we can trust. So you better get used to the world being miserable."
Jessica frowned. "Don't be so mopey, Sammy. Of course we trust Nigel! He's giving us hope of what things were once like!"
"You call this hope? I call it longing after a world that doesn't exist anymore! It's stupid to waste time thinking about what-could-have-been instead of about reality."
Jessica screwed up her face, and the two raised their voices in a heated argument, until Joey interrupted. "That's enough!" he said, and the two of them glared at each other but quieted down. "It's been a long day and we should set up camp soon. Whatever the world used to be like, the least we can do is learn from Nigel's skills in survival, fighting, and teamwork."
There it was again, that admiration they had for Nigel. Treating him like he was an inspiration. Nigel didn't feel like an inspiration, though. He just felt like a fraud. If all he ever wanted was to feel like somebody important, why did it suddenly feel so wrong to him now?
Dusk was falling and cold winds began sweeping the fields. Joey was right, they should find shelter for the night. At the next semi-protected cave, Nigel and the children filed in.
First things first, they should make a fire. Nigel scoured the cave for sticks he could try rubbing together, it would be a slow but they needed fire, when something behind him went fwoom!
"Whoa!"
A wave of bright orange fire roared up next to Nigel, and he nearly jumped a foot in the air.
Jackson watched him between the flames, chewing on the unburnt end of a smoking matchstick, and he grinned as Nigel jumped into the air.
"Nice- nice work, Jackson," said Nigel, his heart still racing.
Even though they were tired and sore from walking, the children were still excited about going on an adventure. Jessica busied herself cooking something over the fire, while Raya asked Nigel to show her some fighting moves. Jackson was lying down, pretending to be asleep, but Nigel could tell he watching, too. So he went over some basics, defensive stance, blocking, how to read your opponent, and Raya followed along with every step.
"How am I doing?" she said, eagerly mimicking Nigel's every move.
"Excellent," he said, and she swelled with pride.
"Soup's ready!" chirped Jessica, and the children circled around the campfire for dinner. Nigel sat down next to Joey and Raya, across from Jessica and the ever-silent Jackson. Someone was missing.
"Where's Sammy?"
The children frowned.
"I'm sure he's fine," said Joey. "He's a smart kid. But I'll go check outside, just in case." He set down his bowl of soup and stepped out. Jessica and Raya turned to Nigel, eyes sparkling.
"Nigel! In the meantime, can you tell us about another mission? What about Operation B.U.T.T.?"
Nigel flushed. "No, I will not tell you about that one!"
"Awww," said Jessica. "But you'll tell us about another one, won't you? I don't care what Sammy says, you and your stories are the best thing that has ever happened to us. We believe in you, Nigel, and we want to do everything we can to help your mission to stop the GKND!"
"Thank you, Jessica, that means a lot to me," said Nigel, and he really meant it. "I want the GKND to pay for what they've done, for destroying the Kids Next Door and making your childhood miserable."
"He's lying!"
Nigel's head shot up; Sammy ran into the cave waving a photo, Joey sprinting after him. Nigel's confidential file was tucked under Sammy's arm.
"He's part of the GKND!" shouted Sammy, pointing at the photograph of Nigel giving a teary-eyed salute in a spacesuit. "I found this photo in the file, it says Nigel joined the GKND! He's a traitor to the Kids Next Door!"
"No, I would never betray the Kids Next Door!" yelled Nigel, but as soon as he said it, he wasn't so sure he believed it. His memory had been erased after all, so how could he know what really happened? The only evidence he had was in that folder, and it said that Nigel was a member of the evil GKND.
"That's not true, is it?" Jessica stared at him, eyes brimming with tears. "You're not actually GKND, are you?"
"I'm not- I mean- I was," Nigel stammered. "I can't remember! I don't know what happened, I barely remember joining the GKND!"
"So you are GKND," said Raya softly. Jackson shook his head.
"Maybe I was in the GKND," said Nigel, desperately trying to explain himself. "But even though I was a GKND operative, I would never betray the Kids Next Door. You have to believe me!"
But the children stood tense and silent, except for Jessica's sniffling. Sammy put his arm around her and pulled her away from Nigel, as if he was protecting her from him. The fire crackled in the silence, throwing shadows over Nigel's face. He felt like a monster, terrorizing this small band of children. He didn't know what was worse, Sammy's look of contempt or Raya's crestfallen face. Only Joey looked pensive, brows knit together, as if he was still undecided.
Thump.
Something hit the roof of the cave.
Thump. Thump, thump.
The party peered out into the night. It was raining, but it wasn't just rain. There were golf ball-sized lumps falling from the sky. Nigel's first thought was hail, but it wasn't cold enough and the lumps were too mushy to be ice. In fact, the rain was greenish, which made the lumps look just like-
"Boogers!" Raya couldn't help it and giggled. "It's raining boogers!" She dashed outside, holding out her hands. "This is the funniest thing I've ever seen! I have to catch one!"
"No-" Nigel leapt over the campfire, pushing the other kids aside.
Raya stared up into the night sky, grinning as a green blob hurtled towards her outstretched fingertips.
"No Raya, don't touch the green rain!" He pushed her and she fell backwards into the cave, he could see the kids tensing up, angry that he'd pushed her, ready to fight him, when the squishy lump hit the back of his head.
It stuck to him and began to glow, and Nigel could feel it growing hotter and hotter, like a warm ball of cheese melting on his head. A haze drifted over his eyes, and he fell.