A/N: Sorry about the delay with this update! Endless beta thanks to Ravenslight. All remaining errors are surely mine.

May 25th, 2013

Hermione awoke lazily, feeling safe for the first time in a long time. Her back was pressed against someone, and a warm arm was draped around her middle. She could hear quiet snoring, and when she shifted, his broad, freckled arm tightened around her.

Ronald.

With a gentle touch, she lifted his arm and rose from the bed. It was only 5:34 am, but she'd been out for a few hours already.

The stairs creaked under her bare feet as she tiptoed downstairs. She peeked into the downstairs bedroom and moved silently towards her potions cabinet, plucking Blood Replenishing and Dreamless Sleep from her stores.

Luckily enough, she had a lot of Dreamless Sleep on hand. Molly had sent along a case worth when she transferred here, but as much as she desperately need them, they went unused. She hated the nightmares, but forgetting Lavender seemed like more of a disservice, like she was taking the easy way out for what she'd done – or, rather, not done. Some things deserved punished for and if nightmares were the worst of it, she'd take them happily night after night.

Inside the triage room, Draco lay bathed in soft moonlight; his normally pale skin was eerily gray and sunken. She placed the vials on the end table and recited the spell from the night before.

"Injuriam Revelare."

Her magic coursed through him, again skipping over his injured organs. Her healing spells were working, but it was a slow process, and there was only so much magic in her at any given moment, it was hard for her to feel particularly called to spending it on him.

Her fingers parted his pale lips and slowly trickled the vial of Blood Replenishing Potion down his throat. Her hands soothed the long lines of his throat, an attempt to help ease its passage.

She pointed her wand at the porcelain bowl on the table by the window. "Augamenti." After dipping the corner of a linen scrap into the cool water, she carefully brought it to his lips, letting drops of water slide over his tongue.

Hermione studied his face, etched with deep lines that drew his brows together. He'd changed so much since she saw him last; he was almost gaunt, his cheeks hollow and deep purple circles shadowing his eyes. He flinched, the skin around his eyes creasing when he clenched them tight. She plucked the Dreamless Sleep vial from the end table, but before she could pour it, a hand shot up and grabbed her wrist. She gasped, and her gaze shot to his face. His open, panicked eyes staring back at her, his mouth hanging open.

"Help," he rasped, his voice hoarse.

"Malfoy…"

He blinked twice, unseeing, and his eyes fluttered closed again. She noticed sweat forming along his dirty hairline, and she reached out to rest her palm there.

"Malfoy?"

Nothing.

She poured the vial down his throat, again caressing his throat to assist him in swallowing. He whimpered a few times and then fell into a restful sleep.

Staring down at him, she wanted nothing more than to make sense of the situation – of him. There were giant pieces of the puzzle missing. Pieces she couldn't have without permission of men she no longer really knew.

With a sigh, she returned her wand to its place over his abdomen and began to recite the only healing spell in her arsenal.

"Sana Organi… Sana Corpus… Sana Organi… Sana Corpus…"

She went half as long as before, stopping before she felt faint. She could perform the spell again sooner if she didn't push herself too far. Stamina was key, and she reasoned that some Pepper Up Potion would need to go on her list to brew.

Closing the door behind her, she nearly jumped when she caught Harry sitting in the shadows, his hair wilder than normal. His face was heavy from a sleepless night.

"Thank you, Hermione." His voice was weary and thick, an undercurrent of intensity that she didn't understand.

"Did you get your precious clearance?" she clipped, flipping the lights on. There was once a time they could tell each other anything. It wasn't his fault that things had changed. One could argue that those changes were actually because of her, but it didn't bring the wall down – it didn't take away the hurt.

Harry removed his glasses, tossing them on the tiled counter in front of him and rubbing his hands over his face roughly. "We gotta talk. Should we get Ron?"

"I don't know." She quirked an annoyed brow at her friend. "Should you?"

They locked eyes, his emerald gaze burning into her. "Yeah. Yeah, we should. He knows a lot more than I do."

Harry, Ron and Hermione sat on the back porch overlooking the cliffs, the tall grass blowing in the early hours of dusk. Having been woken up before six without a proper breakfast left Ronald a little more cranky than the other two usually preferred, but this is what they had.

Harry spoke first. "After the incident that took you out of the field, the tides changed, as you know." Hermione nodded, but remained silent. "Draco contacted the Order while you were in St. Mungo's. He wanted amnesty, Hermione. He needed a way out." Hermione scoffed and rolled her eyes, but Harry continued slowly. "He went through all the proper tests. Veritaserum, Legilimency, the whole nine. He cleared it all."

Hermione scepticism crested, and she focused her energy on trying to keep her tone even. She slid her tongue over her teeth and sat up a little straighter. "Okay. So why didn't he get out?"

"You know Mad-Eye…" Ron finally joined, letting out a long yawn. "Thought Draco had more to offer to the cause. He sent him back in, this time for us."

Something about his words grated against her skin. "You made him a spy?" Her brows knit tightly together as she stared out at the cresting sun.

"A liaison." Ron corrected.

"Right." She snorted with a severe roll of her eyes. "And how do you fit into all of this then?"

"I was his liaison, his handler, and connection to the Order."

She balked, her eyes blowing wide. "You? Godric, why would they choose you?"

"Nice, Hermione." Harry chuckled, and Ron scowled.

"I just mean that you and Malfoy aren't exactly friends, yeah? I don't know; it just seems like someone more qual–"

"Hey! Since you've been out of the field, a lot has changed. I'm one of the lead strategists and am out on almost every important mission we attempt." Ron was fully awake now. He sat on the edge of his seat, passion dripping from each word as he tried to convey his importance. "I've been working the closest with Draco this whole time."

"And what about you?" Hermione nodded at Harry.

Harry leaned back, a petulant pout adorning his lips. "These days, I'm little more than a show pony. They hardly let me out of my cage for a mission. I insisted on being on the team that extracted Malfoy, but other than that, they treat me like a morale booster for the real soldiers." When had Harry become so bitter?

"Why?"

"They don't want me to die." Harry sniffed, as if the thought was an unfounded worry. "They think if I'm dead, then You-Know-Who wins. No contest. So I'm kept in an ivory tower, only paraded to make the rounds at safe houses and shoo-in missions."

"How did you get on the team to get Malfoy?"

"I was at my bloody wits end! I insisted! I told them that I was losing it and needed to get out. To their credit, the mission was supposed to be easy."

"You see," Ron interrupted, "Malfoy could sense the Death Eaters were onto him; he started getting paranoid, demanding we get him out, saying he had done enough. Mad-Eye wanted more, but Draco was sure they were going to kill him. Said even You-Know-Who knew. So Mad-Eye made him a deal: one more week to gather as much intel as he could and then we would 'capture' him in battle. The plan was to make it seem legit so as to protect his parents; they didn't know he'd gone turncoat."

"That was the mission Luna was injured in…" Hermione added in, lost in Ron's story.

"Exactly. Well, he wasn't there; he wasn't where he said he'd be." Ron ran his fingers through his too-long hair. "We looked– bloody hell, we looked for too long. We lost people – almost lost Luna. Finally, we had to give up, but he wasn't at our next meeting either. I actually noticed a couple of suspicious looking blokes and illegally Apparated out. The last few weeks, we had been storming every known fortress and hideout we could think of. Everything had been abandoned."

"That's why they let me tag along to the the location we found Malfoy. A small castle in Northern Ireland had some rumored suspicious activity, but they were convinced it was abandoned. We had a team of six." Harry's eyes were trained on the stone between them, his voice hollow and lost in memory of the battle. "We were met with twice that many in the field alone. Luckily – and unluckily – most of the Death Eaters were young. Mostly recruits, kids right out of Hogwarts… some still in." Harry's hooded eyes caught Ron's, and they shared a quiet moment of acknowledgement.

"Long story short," Ron interjected with a gulp, "We found Malfoy in the dungeons. It was near impossible, but we got him out of there. Listen, I'm the first to admit that Malfoy is a right fucking git, but he's paid his dues. He's paid more than his fair share."

"Lavender, Ron. He was there. He could have done something!"

"You don't know that, and you don't know his reasons for not doing it," Harry reasoned.

"I can't believe I've lived to see the day you two are defending Draco Malfoy. I think it may have finally happened. I've lost my mind."

"I assure you, your mind is still brilliantly intact." Harry fixed her with a crooked grin. "War changes people – sometimes it even changes the bad guys. We can't tell you his reasons; those are for him to share if he wants to. But he can't be released to a safe house or St. Mungo's. It's not safe for him out there, few people even know of his involvement. We need him to stay here." Harry seemed to shrink as he spoke, worried about her reaction.

Hermione sighed and she stood and made her way towards the door. "And Harry?"

"Yeah, 'Mione?"

"Get some sleep. You look like shit." She gave him a half smile.

"Thanks, 'Mione." He gave an indelicate snort. "Always the sensitive one."

Hermione continued to work on Draco every few hours. She seemed to last a little longer by the end of the day, but she was exhausted deep in her bones. Her survival was completely dependent on strong tea and Revitalizing potions – which she was now out of.

She craned her neck, letting out a long yawn over her cauldron. Her Strengthening Solution was still a shade of dark navy, so she sprinkled a little more Powdered Griffin Claw and watched as it turned the perfect shade of turquoise.

Hermione glanced at the recipe and groaned at the final instruction: stew for forty-three minutes and then remove from heat.

Perfect. Forty-three minutes. Not an annoying number or anything. She rolled her eyes and set the egg timer.

Ron entered the kitchen then, finally having woken from his nap.

"Hi, 'Mione. Anything to eat?"

"A little… I'll head up to the store in a bit."

"How do you get there?"

"Apparate outside of town and walk. It's not bad." She was silent for a moment, chewing on a thought. "How long can you guys stay?"

Ron's lips pulled into a tight line. "Just 'til morning. Mad-Eye said no exceptions. With Malfoy here, we might get to sneak back a bit more often." Ron wrapped an arm around her shoulder, and she rested her head there. "Miss you," he mumbled into her curls.

His confession made her tense, but he either didn't notice or didn't care. "I miss you guys, too. Wish I could be with you out there."

Ronald scoffed and released her. "Trust me, it's better you're not. I wish they'd take all girls out of the field."

"Ronald! That is so sexist!" she elbowed him in the ribs.

"Ow! It's not about your capability; don't misunderstand me. But what happened to Lavender… it's happening more. These Death Eaters aren't out just to kill anymore; they are out to capture, to torture. If I have a girl on my team, I can't concentrate on much else. I never want her out of my sight. It makes me worse."

Hermione felt it in her chest. "That's horrible. When will this bloody war end? We can't keep living like this."

"Soon. There are plans, 'Mione. Just gotta wait for the right time."

"I suppose you can't tell me anything about it?"

"Not a chance, but trust me. It's almost over." Ron leaned in to kiss her on the forehead, and she melted into his affection, enjoying his familiar touch. Then his fingers were under her chin and lifting her face to meet his, brushing against hers the way they used to before. But it wasn't before anymore. She had changed, and she wasn't sure that there was room for kisses in her life now.

Finally, she turned away, blushing. He placed his hands on the counter and sighed.

"Is it because you're not ready? I understand that you've been through a lot, and I get that. I can wait. Or is because it's me? Because if it's me–" Her eyes locked on his icy blue stare, on the way he memorised her face like it was the last time. "Then there's not much I can do about that."

She hesitated. "I don't know," she replied honestly, tears forming at the corners of her eyes. "Is it… is it okay that I don't know right now?"

"Hermione, I've known you since we were kids." He sighed. "You know everything. We are at the end of the world, and I could walk out of that door and never see you again. I could be blasted to bits by some foul Death Eater tomorrow. If you don't know? If that doesn't affect you the way it affects me? Then it's just me, and I have to be okay with that."

Her chest fissured, her heart splintering deep inside her and she wanted desperately to tell him what he wanted to hear. "That's not fair! What a rotten thing to say." Hermione wiped traitorous tears from her cheeks.

"It's okay for your answer to be no, 'Mione, but I can't keep waiting for it to change to a yes, because at this point I don't think it ever will."

She let out a strangled sob. "You know I love you, right?"

"I do." He wrapped her in his arms and squeezed her as she cried, staining his shirt, and when she was surrounded by him, she realised how safe she was. She panicked at the thought of losing him. "It might be… it might be yes! I just don't know yet. I need time." She was on the verge of hysteria now. "It might be a yes," she repeated through her tears.

"Shh, shh, okay. It might be yes," he lied, consoling her.

After what seemed forever, she removed herself from his embrace.

"I'm going to run up the store for you, okay? Get some stuff for the coming weeks," Ron offered, and she replied with a stiff nod, still wiping away her tears.

The rest of the morning passed uneventfully. There was a quietness in their time together that normally would have been uncharacteristic, but it felt necessary here. It was impossible for the boys to remark on their day to day lives without bringing the realities of war into a harsh spotlight, and Hermione truthfully didn't have much to speak on.

They chewed on cold turkey sandwiches when a rasping cough sounded from the triage room. They paused, their eyes darting between each other, and dropped their food onto their plate, chairs scratching against the wood floor.

Malfoy had perched onto his elbow, and he was hunched over gasping for breath. Harry and Ron paused at the door while Hermione rushed to his side, cradling the back of his neck and summoning a cup of water to relieve him.

He drank greedily, water spilling out the corners of his mouth until he was coughing again.

"Malfoy, you're safe. You're with the Order," Ron reassured him, just a step behind Hermione.

"Harry, grab the Strengthening Solution, will you? It's just on the counter." Hermione's chin ticked towards the kitchen, and Harry obeyed without hesitation.

"Where am I?" Draco fell back against his pillow, his chest heaving.

"You're at a safe house with the Order.. You're gonna to be alright."

A moment stretched on, and without warning, his face twisted into an angry snarl. "I fucking told you, Weasel. You never fucking listen."

"Hey! I did listen! It was Moody, and you bloody well know it. I tried to get you out. Hell, I did get you out."

"Yeah, really good job there, mate. Brilliant job. I especially liked the bit where you left me to be tortured for a few weeks first." Even in his obvious pain, Malfoy pulled off an impressive level of sarcasm that made Hermione chuckle into her palm.

"Granger?" He regarded her like she might be a figment of his imagination, his brows furrowed and low over his eyes, his upper lip pulled up high like a fishhook was snagged in it.

"She's the reason you're still breathing, mate. Be nice." Ron scoffed with a twitch of his brow and perched on the side of the bed.

"I'm always nice." Draco snorted indelicately and then winced, clutching at his abdomen as Harry returned.

"This should help your strength return. You'll need three doses, to be administered every twelve hours. Dose one… ready?" Hermione offered, her lips pursed and brows tight.

"Can hardly wait." He responded with a heavy roll of his eyes and a sneer. "On with it, Granger."

The vial tipped past his lips, and he rested back against the pillows, his eyes fluttering closed in relief. "I need to be briefed."

"Later. Get some rest."

The three of them made to leave the room, filing out when his hands shot out. "Wait!" he croaked. "My wand?"

Ron and Harry grinned at each other, and Ron reached into his back pocket. "Those fucking idiots kept a cupboard of belongings to the prisoners right by the gatekeeper." Draco snatched it hungrily and clasped it to his chest.

"Lucius?" Draco's eyes started fluttering. The potion would strengthen him over time, but right now all of the potion was being redirected where it mattered, his liver, his spleen, his heart, and his lungs.

"Last we heard, he was alive. Your mum, too. We did rescue you from the dungeons, so it's safe to say that they know you were taken by us. By the look of you, they didn't need much proof that you'd flopped sides, but it's safe to say this drives it home."

"Can you get to them?" Malfoy's pale face was etched with a deep concern that seemed out of place to Hermione as she studied him.

"Would they come if we could?" Harry raised an eyebrow, his voice skeptical.

"Good point. Okay, sleep now – brief later. Thanks for saving me, arseholes. You aren't as stupid as I originally figured you were." Malfoy's body went near limp as he tugged the quilt up over his torso.

"Remind me to punch you later," Ron said lightly.

"Yeah, yeah, punch me while I'm down. The only way you'd get a hit in." Malfoy smirked.

"Shitheads! I'm up! Come tell me what happened!"

The three of them were sitting on the couch in silence, Ron and Harry playing Muggle Chess much to Ron's chagrin, and Hermione curled in the corner with a book open and her feet resting in Ron's lap.

"You guys go on." Hermione nodded as they stood. "I have Goosegrass that needs tending."

She parted ways with the boys, walking out into the warm May evening. The sun had set, but its lingering light was still illuminating the ocean below. A few lazy gulls soared along the crashing tide.

The problem wasn't him staying through recovery; when her hands and mind had a purpose she could accomplish anything. What she didn't know was how to handle the after and not knowing how long that part was going to last.

From what the boys said, he wasn't safe in the other safehouses. Maybe they'd be able to find something like the Cliffhouse for him? Somewhere off the map and safe from the war and prying eyes.

Then it dawned on her.

This was the Order's house; it wasn't even really hers. Being asked to take care of him was nothing more than cordiality. They were well within their rights to insist, and it might go smoother for Hermione if she just agreed. She might be able to set the tone of the stay.

She stood without singing to the Goosegrass and marched back into the house. She stopped outside of the cracked door and eavesdropped for a moment, her fingers resting lightly on the door frame.

"Where in the fuck am I supposed to go? This whole arrangement was set up on the fact that I not only got out, but I'd be taken care of. I risked my arse for you guys; you have no idea what I've been through!"

"Malfoy, what do you want us to do? We've bloody tried! If she says no, we can't make her."

She took a deep breath and pushed the door open. "You don't have to make me do anything. You can stay. But we need some boundaries." When no one spoke, she continued. "You will not speak disrespectfully to me or about me. When you are better, you will contribute to the house, help cook and clean, tend the garden, help with potions, etcetera. If there are patients that come in, I'll require your help."

Draco sucked his tongue between his teeth, his eyes flashing at her.

"Can you agree to those terms?"

"I guess I don't have any other choice," Malfoy said with a tight jaw.

"No, you don't."

A/N: I adore reading your thoughts and reviews! They brighten my day!