The characters from the game belong to Capcom. The OC's and story background belong to me.
Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author's imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental.

A/N: I'm not English native speaker, so you might find some typos or grammar mistakes, I do apologize for that.

Chris entered his suit room and headed to the bathroom, leaving his wet clothes on the floor as the water filled the bathtub. He dressed the bathrobe when he heard knocks on the suit door. It was Ana, the receptionist that offered him shelter at the hotel, to deliver his order: a bottle of whiskey and snacks.

They didn't talk much as she had to return to the reception and he wasn't in the mood for chatting.

In fact, he was never in the mood for talking in a while.

More and more the renowned captain of the BSAA embraced his shadow company, twisting in his memories and deep emotions of sorrow and remorse.

He opened the whiskey bottle and headed to the bathroom where he sat into the warm water after hanging the bathrobe up.

He rested his head on the edge as he poured in the whiskey directly from the bottle, looking airy at the window, watching the falling rain outside.

Rains...

Flashback

On the evening of a rainy day, he was sitting at the couch watching a sports channel and drinking beer when he saw Kate leaving the kitchen with a package of chips and a cup of soda - which wasn't usual - and sat at the other corner side after closing the curtains and turning on all the lights.

He watched her moves and could tell she seemed restless and her behavior looked weird to him as he wondered why turning on all the lights and closing the curtains, and keeping matches and candles next to her.

"You okay?" he asked in curiosity

"Yeah…"

He didn't trust her tone of voice. She seemed too tense. As a matter of fact it wasn't the first time he noticed her restlessness on rainy days as he recalled one evening they were still in his office due to the heavy rain.
It didn't pass unnoticed the fact that Kate seemed to be constantly praying for the rain to stop soon. She was still fearful when the rain got thinner and they left the office building and headed to the parking lot and on their way to his car, there was a strong lightening and Kate screamed loud holding his arm tightly in despair. She cried more in scare of lightening and heavy rains instead of the actual thunder.

End of Flashback

"I wonder if she's alright wherever she is now…" he wondered leaving a sigh and drank a sip of whiskey

He immersed himself more into the water and closed his eyes as he continued travelling in his memories about their complicated relationship – or possibly he was the complicated one complicating things…

Flashback

It was a rainy Friday morning when he was at his office reading some files of the flashdrive Mr. Lionel had given him.
He didn't understand why the old man insisted on him to read them. Despite having faced so many "unbelievable" things, there was still a part of him that remained skeptical about "incredible" things such as reincarnation or esoteric matters that seemed to explain things but at the same time they didn't seem so reliable, but living with Kate and seeing her determination in becoming a better person by mirroring the good qualities she learned about her muse inspiration, aka Katarina O'Gregon, and not following her mistakes were slowing causing him a reaction to understand more Kate's progressive changes in her attitudes and personality.
He knew about some of Kate's childish and provocative attitudes at times, especially towards his ex-fiancée, Cathy. He wasn't blind or dumb, but often he chose to ignore her sassy side as deep inside he liked to know he caused such reactions on her – he liked to know that they had mutual attraction despite all the odds.

However, those traits were drastically changing when she embraced Katarina's redemption and that caused him a mix of feelings. Certainly it was good to see her trying to be a better person as per her vision, but he wasn't so sure that changing her flaws so much pleased him. Like in a quote he read somewhere: "Even cutting your own defects can be dangerous. You never know what is the defect that underlies our entire building"

For him it felt like she was living to fix someone else's mistakes and sustaining a ghost that deserved peace, and he started to feel like he needed to understand that cycle, but he didn't have the time to follow that wish as in that fatidic morning he received the visit of her estranged brother, Vlad.

At first, he tried to avoid such conversation, but Vlad was persistent and managed to get his attention and worse, to poison his complex feelings.

"With all the respect Mr. Redfield, I know my sister longer than you and I know how persuasive she can be, especially when she plays the victim after provoking a situation to win her cards. Her smiles and beauty hide her true intentions and her intense femininity can drive a man crazy. I've seen it! She used her former lovers for her own benefit"

"So I've got nothing for her to get any benefit!"

"That's where your blindness lies. She has you and all your protection. She's young and tricky. The apartment she lived belonged to her former lover, a very rich and influent man. From him she got the luxurious life, she didn't have to work…hard…you know…her only work was to use her explicit persuasion on that needy man with a frigid, old and boring wife…a man like you"

"I'm not a needy man!"

"But you're getting older and live a boring life and shared your life with a dull and old girlfriend…"

"Cathy wasn't…."

Vlad smirked, "Come on, face the fact, you chose Kate over your good partner…Kate gave you back the sensation of youth back! She played your fantasies. She took you out of the shell and exposed you and your reputation, and put it on the line without you even noticing it and you protected her from all the exposition and then homed her without a question… I hope you always protected yourself before is too late, because I'm sure she has told you about her inability to get pregnant, which is a lie! She can get pregnant, but the older guy failed impregnating her for natural reasons, but you…I don't think you'd have the same problems he did as you're almost half of his age…Ah and just a note, she did his son too…so be careful when you bed her, that's where she manipulates men like you…"

"Oh…and you're the good guy here?"

"You believe whatever you want. I'm sure Kate has told you bad things about me too, but I do believe you deserved to know you have been used"

End of Flashback

Looking back now only made him feel like a real fool. How could he have believed in all that crap told him? Back in the days they did seem to make sense, but now…

He immersed himself even more into the water, leaving it cover all of his face, in a gesture of embarrassment.
Later he confirmed Kate never lied to him about her womb conditions and health, nor her family issues, actually she did omit darker things about her twisted father and brother. Omission is not the same as lying, and even him had omitted and lied to her, and in her case, she omitted out of protection.
A protection he failed to give her, but it was like one of the things she told him during one of their fights: "You believed so easily in the words of others, but not in mine…"

She was right. Now he admitted it. His impulsiveness always made him react first and then think, and his stubbornness sustained that habit which led to his failed relationships, and only when the damage was done he realized his part of the responsibility – only at the end.
Was it too late with Kate too?

He emerged from the water leaving out a long sigh. He pulled out the drain water and left the bathtub to dress the bathrobe and leave the bathroom. He took the whiskey bottle with him and moved the armchair to stay positioned in front of the window so he could stay comfortably looking outside, watching the pouring rain as he reflected – or mentally escaped – the decisions he had to make about his life.

As the alcohol was absorbed by his body, the more his consciousness set away from his conscious blocks and denials. Out of the blue, his mind seemed to start making tricks with himself and made parallels with the images of the women he recalled having loved in dreams, but it started when he recalled a conversation he had with Henry, one day at his apartment when Kate was shopping for his birthday party – a date he didn't like that much.

Flashback

Henry was lying on the couch using his laptop to navigate his private page when he was taken by the curiosity when he saw the page of Kate on his feed, and then started navigating her photo albums and commented about some of them.

"You know…Despite being used to all this technology thing, I still find it weird to see how easy the communication and the manipulation of pictures have become. From letters that took days, weeks or even months to arrive to their destination to communicate something to a simple touch of screen to have instant conversation. And the abolition of the canvas to portrait people where you had to stand still for long hours and depended on talent artists to be paint you faithfully and now with a simple touch of screen you can even record long and living moments… it's absurd! No to mention locomotion!"

"Well, I'm not as old as you, but I can relate to you. I was born in a time that fast technology was an ET thing that belonged to a distant future…"

"Exactly!"

"But I must admit that despite taking advantage of everything technology has provided, there are times I miss some things that used to be simpler. Life now seems to pass so fast…and you barely have time for anything"

"I think that's a matter of priority… Your thought of a simpler life is an illusion. Back in my days simpler things took longer to be concluded because the tools were simpler as well."

"Yeah I agree, but I think interactions have become so artificial…you can live at the same house with someone and you talk from a video chat…Even making babies have become artificial…"

"Well…it's artificial for those who can pay, but most still conceive naturally, though all is back to the point: it's a matter of priority"

Chris shrugged agreeing with Henry's point of view. Henry continued looking at the pictures and making other comments while Chris continued observing the albino man, thoughtfully. Aside from the fact that Henry's appearance was too shocking due to how white his skin was, when he was dressed in his disguises to be able to wander the streets at night, there was nothing that indicated the rule that Henry should be destroyed like the other creatures he was spending his years since he was 25 years old chasing and killing them, and unfortunately, some of those creatures used to be human beings before the experiments.
However, Henry wasn't an experiment, he was the consequence of an element that could be used for malignant experiments.
There was nothing artificial about Henry's creation, or more exactly, conception, yet, a creature now.
Why was Henry different from the others?
Something made the reputed captain stop what he was trained to do: killing creatures.
More and more Chris grew affectionate of Henry, despite being aware of Henry's special and monstrous abilities.

End of Flashback

A strong lightning shone at the dark sky and a loud thunder followed it, but Chris didn't feel the slightest scare. His only reaction was to frown bitterly and take a long sip of whiskey and shake his head in disapproval of his memories.

He still felt so raw the pain and the weight of being a creature's killer.
And he killed Henry…

He let out a loud scream and threw the empty glass whiskey bottle at the wall and then crouched struggling with himself.

All those deaths, all those people, all those creatures…screaming in his head.

"Leave me alone!" He screamed

His memories surfacing painfully. Tormented he started breaking and beating things while screaming.

"Chris?" a female voice called him

"I SAID LEAVE ME ALONE!" he shouted to the voices and at the female's voice at the door

In madness, he held his head trying to stop all those images and voices, ignoring all the pleads Ana and her grandfather were yelling outside the door.

"GO AWAY!" he yelled

At them but at the moment he said that, there was a power cut at the hotel due to the heavy rain. Running through the room like a lost beast, Chris stumbled onto something and lost his balance, as he fell, he beat his head at the table and fell unconscious on the ground.

The power was restored quickly. Ana and her grandfather used a copy key to open the suit room door. Immediately Ana ran to Chris's aid. Her grandfather looked at the mess and at the unconscious man and shook his head in disapproval, but at the same time his gaze expressed pity.

Flashback

14th Century

It was early dawn when the fishermen were preparing their boats for another season at the seacoast of Arthena, while Christian Greencamp was sitting at a rock staring at the fire pit and playing with some small stones when his friend, Finnley, stood next to him.

"Hey Chris, what's happening to you? Usually you're the one excited with the preparations of the boats"

The young man sighed, "I'm not in the mood for fishing today" he replied with a depressed tone

"You mean, lately?" Finnley replied sitting at his side

"Whatever…"

"I bet it has a name…Katie"

Christian let out a long sigh upon hearing that name

"That's what women can do to us, poor men, according to my old man. Women can be more dangerous than the seas! They make us drown at the earth"

"Isn't it the tale of mermaids?"

"Yeah, but what mermaids are? Females!"

"They're half fish and…"

"Half women!"

"So? What's the relation with me and Katie then?"

"You're enchanted by her…"

"Katie is not a mermaid…"

"But since you met her you have become a moody fish…and more exactly since you travelled her seas…"

"Shhhh!" Christian poked him on the arm, "Don't say that so loud!"

"Ouch, I'm sorry, but I'm just repeating what my old man taught me…women are enchanting, especially if you do 'that' before marriage…but I'm not saying it's wrong…"

"It's wrong! I always regret when we cross the line"

"Is it wrong only because you haven't signed the papers yet?"

Christian looked at him with a surprised expression, "Finn…I don't recognize you. Since when are you a rebel and a fighter of breaking rules of a sinner?"

"Chris…First I'm not a rebel, I'm your friend…your best friend since we were little kids. I know you and I support you. Second, loving a woman shouldn't be a sin, especially if she loves you back, and third, there are rules that should be broken…tradition and morale is not always right"

Christian smiled with his fiend's support. They were the same age but they had been through so many things together. Finnley had always been the voice of wisdom to him. He was the brother he never had.

"Finn…I appreciate your support, but I don't think I'll ever marry Katie…"

"Why not? I thought you said you married her spiritually…"

"He won't let us…"

"Who?"

"Her father…"

End of Flashback

From that moment, Chris' memories skipped to another period of time, while Ana and her grandfather waited for medical assistance when he was still unconscious on the ground.

Flashback

17th Century

Christopher Reed was at the barn taking care of his horse at the Castle of Bohma when he heard footsteps approaching. He waited until he heard the person standing still near him.

"There you are…the favorite" a male voice spoke with evident disdain

Christopher looked at the man staring at him, "Good morning Lord O'Gregon, how can I help you?" he asked politely, but inside he was struggling to not curse the man and his disdain

"I came to talk to you from man to…" the man looked at him from head to toe with an expression of debauchery, "man…" he continued with a tone as if the young man in front of him was insignificant and not a real man if not for the male structure

Christophe noticed the older man's tones and expressions and more he held his breath and composure to not disrespect the king's main supporter, "I'm all ears…"

"I don't intend to take much of my time with you, but I had to wait for the right moment to have this conversation with you, especially now that my daughter Katarina is ready to be given to wed"

"To be given…" Christopher couldn't help it

"Yes, and thanks to you"

"I don't follow you…"

"I'm sure you don't. Look at you… I admit you've got teeth and some instruction, hygiene and clearly have a good male bone structure that surely captivates my daughter's vain side…I'm sure you're something in your class…but that's it…in your class. My daughter Katarina is way above of it and she was raised to wed men of our class or higher like a prince or even a king, and fertility is a prime requisite and that's where your value – help – comes from"

Christopher remained silent and tense listening to that disgusting man's manners surrounding him like a predator studying his prey before the fatal attack.

"I guess you have a thing for barns…"

The man made sure to make Christopher feel very uncomfortable when he seemed to smell him at some distance.

"Barns and a vassal scent…That's Katarina's scent for the last 8 months, no matter how much cologne she wears to disguise the scent of your secretive encounters…when you fornicate…"

In reaction, Christopher looked at the man who gestured at him not to deny it, "I know you fornicate, a parent always knows when their children are not children anymore…even when they don't show it"

"If you know so why you make her be checked?"

The older man let out a laugh, "Do you really think those checks are for me? Ah, I remember, you don't belong to our class and can't know how it works. I don't care if she fucks you, like I said, you've got some utility. More importantly than looks and virginity, the fertility of the wife-to-be is the first requisite for the royalty to choose their brides…and there's only one way to find out if a woman is a marriage material…but when the groom-to-be requests a virgin, I make a virgin, but with her help…I like to see how far she goes"

Christopher couldn't help his silence anymore as the more he listened to that disgusting man that didn't deserve to be called a man, the angrier he got, "You son of a b…"

"Aha…Respect me your vassal! You're downgraded here even if the king, who is a great friend of mine, keeps some affection for you, but for me you've got no value, only utility"

"Why don't you just let us be happy together?"

"Do you mean a marriage of love, does it really exist?"

"It does! We love each other! And different of you, I don't see her as an object of contract and trade. She has feelings, noble feelings! And it's not because of your money or so-called class"

"Aww, so cute, another dreamer!"

"Better be a dreamer than a monster!"

"Standing up for love…very cute! I'm sure that enchants dreamers like Katarina and makes her open her legs to you!"

Christopher touched his sword and let out a heavy sigh as both men stared each other bitterly.

"Do that and you're a dead man…and so is Katarina"

"You wouldn't do that…she's your daughter!"

"Surely she is…but without you I bet she goes insane…reason why you still breathe"

"What have I done to you? What have we done to you?"

"Look at you Christopher… What can you offer to Katarina?"

"I can give her everything she wants and deserves. Love, protection, a family…"

"Everything you don't have. Dreamer! The real world needs more than fantasies to sustain yourselves"

"I can give her more than you think…and way more than any king you want to sell her"

"Really? So you're saying you having more possessions than a king? So where is it? All you have is a dead land that an ancestor gave to your family out of compassion"

"I don't have to prove you anything. Kat knows that we can live a good life"

"A good life? Katarina is a spoiled brat! She can't make it living in a pigsty"

"She doesn't care about luxury"

"She says that because she never lived without it! Fornication at barns doesn't count as low experience"

"So you really don't know nor love your daughter…you don't prime for her happiness…"

"Neither do you!"

"I do love her! I do want her happiness!"

"But you can't make her happy"

"I can"

"But you won't!"

Christopher rolled his eyes defeated and tired of his bullshit. He was sure that conversation was over. He would never change that man's mind about his relationship with Katarina.

"Christopher…More than I know Katarina, I know men like you. You will never make her happy even if you marry over my dead body, because that's the only way you two could have a chance to stay together officially."

"I'm done with you…"

"Exactly! That's indeed the reason why you'll never make Katarina happy. You're evasive"

"I'm just done with your bullshit!"

"You're a stubborn at the same time you're a dreamer. You idealize a world that doesn't exist and then you'll make people cry because you're done with the bullshit you created. You don't face the facts, you run away. I'm not selling Katarina, I'm protecting her from you! Oh and another thing, the day you impregnate Katarina, you can be sure the child won't live. Nobody cares about a vassal's heir and it's like I said, your utility is to prove Katarina is fertile, not a mother!"

End of Flashback

After that day, I started treating Katarina so differently and the fear to impregnate her consumed me. I feared for her. I feared for our children. Maybe that man's words planted the seeds of doubts that haunted me on and on into my relationship with her that led to our constant on-and-offs. Or maybe his words only awakened something that was already planted inside me that would only take a matter of time until it emerges and the result would still be the same.
And now, every time I think of Kate, I think of Katie and Katarina like they were all the same person, like me, Christian and Christopher Reed. Maybe I'm going crazy or maybe it all makes sense for real.
Maybe that man was really trying to protect her in the "best" way he could and knew, because even now without his interference in our lives, I often come to this point of dilemmas that I'm not a good influence to her, despite all the love I have for her and our children, or my relatives or friends.

They all tell me I keep running away and I don't face the facts, but how do they expect me to when all I see is hurt and death? Should I be proud of that? I don't think so! So yeah, I feel shame, I feel I'm a lame, I feel I don't deserve any of those titles. I'm not hero! I'm no legend.
And I feel responsible for their illusions about me. They believe I'm something and I'm not, and follow me for that, so it's my fault when I fail them.

I just want it to stop. I just want to stop feeling this, but someone has to do the job.

.

.

"Someone has to do the job…"
"Yeah, but not only you and forever…"

Henry's distant voice echoing in Chris's mind was the last thing he recalled as he started to regain his consciousness and saw Ana and her grandfather relieved in seeing him awake.
He woke up feeling a bit sore the part of his head he beat, but they insisted on him being checked by a doctor only to be sure there was nothing serious in his head.

Looking around at the mess, Chris apologized and promised to pay for the damage.

"We talk about that later, now the priority is your recovery" said the grandfather and owner of the hotel

"I just got here and I proved to be a bad costumer"

"Like grandpa said, the priority is your recovery, and then we talk about the mess"

"I feel bad seeing that!"

"We can change the room then…"

"It won't make me forget what I did!"

"So stop brooding! You know the solution and we're not complaining. End of conversation. Focus on the now which is your recovery" the old man spoke staring at Chris with a serious expression but with a compassionate look

"Thank you Ana and…?"

"Ronald…but you can call me Ron"

"Thank you Ana and Ron for all the support, but I'm fine. Really"

Ana couldn't help the laugh and looked at her grandfather, "Stubborn…like you"

"I can see that, but I bet I'm more experienced" he replied with a joking tone

Chris only watched them interact as if he wasn't there anymore, so, as he really felt better, he moved on the bed and sat at the corner. That moment he stopped when he saw Ron's walking stick in front of him.

"What did I just say?"

"And I said I'm fine!"

"And I heard. I'm old but not deaf like you"

Chris let out a defeated sigh. It was pointless continuing arguing with the other of the establishment.

"Since I'm the cleaning team right now, so I request your help with the glasses, okay?" Ana said easing the atmosphere and stared at the old man for his approval, who gave her a single nod before turning around to leave the room

When Ron left, Ana looked around with her hands on her hips, making a face, studying the mess and from where to start it.
Seeing that made Chris smile and recall the time Kate did the same thing when they reconciled for the first time and she returned to the apartment they lived.

"I really apologize for the mess…"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time"

"It's because seeing your face makes me feel really bad for taking you from your responsibilities"

"No problem, it's part of the job"

"Yeah, but you made me remember my girlfriend…she used to have an OCD for organization and she did the same face when she didn't know from where to start"

She laughed, "I see, and with all the respect, I bet she feels like having 3 children at home"

"We only have two"

"Three…with you"

He made a face getting her joke and didn't disagree. He remembered Kate saying something like that once or twice and that he used to make more mess than the twins together.

"I thought you said she was your wife"

"Yeah…I consider her my wife as we live together for so long…"

"Oh I see."

"But we were engaged"

"Were? You're not engaged anymore?"

Chris looked at her making a face. He didn't know what to say, but immediately Ana covered her mouth cursing herself for the intromission.

"I'm sorry…It was faster than me…but I didn't intend to invade your privacy…but since you told me even without details that you were looking for her, my fertile imagination got me thinking about your story that seems to be so incredible. My grandpa calls me a dreamer, but it's just that I love drama and seeing one so closely blew my mind, so I beg your pardon!"

"Don't worry, I'm not offended. I do agree it's incredible. Now when I look back I still can't believe that I'd date Kate…"

"Why? Are you from different worlds?"

"Something like that…we have been through so many things but we still simply love each other, despite our differences"

"I bet she must be worried about you and for not knowing your whereabouts"

"True, and I'm worried about her. She doesn't deal that well with our distances"

"I suppose but she has your children"

"And I'm worried about them too"

"Have you tried calling her? Sending her an email?"

"I don't know her new number and what's an email…"

"You don't know what an email is?"

Chris made an embarrassed face. Again his amnesia and confusion of who he actually is made him feel old-fashioned.

Noticing his reaction, made Ana feel embarrassed as well which made her apologize once again for her impulsiveness.

That was the first time those two actually talked. It was evident the differences they had, but that somehow made them work as friends. Ana was light and agitated, and often made him remember Katie, young Katarina and Kate at the start of their relationship at work, and how he missed that side of Kate, but at the same time Ana was non-judgmental about all his bullshit and always ignored his own clumsiness, especially when he was lost in his own memories and personas.