Sexual content here but again, no titillation. Mild allusions to sexual violence if you squint.
Almosts
"Cuddle me."
"––Okay?"
"Mm – mmhmm––"
"Okay––…"
"Mm––"
"…Relax, sweetheart––"
"I – mhm –so relaxed, ah…"
"We can––"
"No I – want – to, m'relaxed, I––"
"If you maybe––?"
"I don't think my leg can–– ah––"
"Mmph – s'alrigh––?"
"YesI – yes, keep––"
"Okay – okay…"
"Ah––"
"Leia – fuck––"
"Yes – mhmm – ah – MMPH nope nope –nope-I-changed-my-mind-I––"
He was off of her instantly and then she was sitting up with her knees drawn, struggling to catch her breath. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," she gasped, mortification flooding her features. "I'm sorry, I'll be – we can try again in – I'm sorry – sorry it – it started to – to hurt all of the sudden and I panicked but––"
"Well, it's definitely not supposed to hurt," he agreed, frowning but resting a hand on her knee, too light to be possessive, just right. "I'm really sorry, I––"
"No-no-it's-fine…" The words tumbled out too fast, too high, and she gave him a shaky, slightly frantic smile. "It's fine, it really is, I'm so embarrassed, I'm so sorry––"
"Don't be sorry, should always stop if something hurts." He gave her knee a light squeeze. "Y'okay?"
"Yes, I'm really fine, I'm fine," she repeated, her speech still so rushed. "I don't know what––"
"Just relax, alright? You want some water?"
"No, I'm okay, I – I want to – I feel so bad –I feel so embarrassed––" She couldn't quite put her finger on it – it wasn't the pain or the panic or that she thought there was any chance he'd be upset with her, it was just – there was something so mortifying about – backing out? Almost like – she felt like she was being cowardly? Like if she were braver she'd just have–– "I don't mean to – tease, I do – want – you. Want to. I do, I…"
"Leia. Relax. It's okay."He slung his arm around her and kissed her temple, her cheek, her jaw – light and easy. "And you're not teasing me. It's your first time, and we're figuring it out."
Her lips twitched just slightly at first timeand he somehow noticed, frowning for a second, but then the moment was gone. "Right," she said, "I know it's not going to be perfect for the – for our first, I just––"
"Not what I meant. Not figuring-it-out as in, it's gonna be crappy so deal with it, because it's notgoing to be crappy, I can promise you that, and you never have to just 'deal with' anything with me or anyone else, ever, but you know that. Just mean that – next time we'll just try – some other position, more lube maybe…"
She blushed brilliantly and smushed her face to his shoulder. "I feel so – immature."
"Yeah, I don't think anyonecould ever call you immature."
"And selfish, I – I don't know…" She winced and mumbled into his shoulder, "I worry I've left you a bit – uncomfortable…"
He rolled his eyes and kissed her hair before lying back down. "Plenty comfortable here, but I'll tell you what you can do."
She looked stricken and bit her lower lip.
He patted the space next to him, indicating that she should lie down, and grinned at her. "Cuddle me?"
Shoutout to anyone who's ever attempted penetrative sex for the first time.