AUDEAMUS
Chapter 27
The whole family had gathered in the entryway to the Masen townhouse. Carlisle Masen had not slept the entire night. He had not slept well ever since arriving in Hayes, to think of it. When Bella Swan had brought up the imprisonment of the Black family, and he called on Mr. Johnson, Carlisle had found out the real trouble the town found itself in. He had sworn that he wouldn't rest until Captain Forster was put behind bars. When Ridge had died, when Collins arrived, and Cullen escalated his taunts and affronts to the garrison, Carlisle searched intently. Ridge had confided in him that he held some information mere days before his death. When Carlisle found out that Lionel Wilson was involved in the complot, maybe even behind the unfortunate state of Hayes, he had truly grown weary of his and his family's safety.
Maybe that was why he had grown so angry at seeing his son arriving the same morning of Cullen's latest daring rescue, looking severely hungover and dismissive. Rosalie helped her brother into the house, hunched over, trying to avoid being seen. Carlisle stopped the siblings in their tracks.
Hayes was, for the better lack of a word, in chaos. Rumors of Cullen's death floated about, Captain Forster boasted of his power for all to hear. One of Carlisle's own servants had seen Edward leaving The Laughing Goose while Bella Swan helped his drunken state into a carriage in nothing but a nightgown. Carlisle sensed the scandal a mile away and it pained his heart that his only son had been drinking and chasing skirts during the night while better men had risked their lives.
Edward Masen's face was flushed, pearls of sweat making trails through the rouge and white powder, the gelled hair against his temples losing its grip. He looked like a dead man walking and Carlisle almost had a mind to let him recover from his night of drinking—almost.
Esmeralda wrung her hands as she took in the state of her son. Alice pressed her lips together, refusing to look at the state of her brother and Jasper and Emmett silently shook their heads at their brother-in-law.
Carlisle walked up to his son with decisive steps, his hands behind his back and his lips twitching in anger. An urge to hit him overwhelmed him, but he kept his hands steady. "Where were you?" The tone of his voice was dangerously low, rough, strained, filled to the brim with ire.
Edward swayed on Rosalie's arm. To anyone else it still looked like he was drunk. Rosalie knew it not to be the case. She knew that the longer her brother was upright, the bigger the chance that his wound would tear open and he would bleed out. She had urged him to reveal his secret to their father, but he had blatantly refused, saying it would not improve things.
"The Goose," he mumbled through the pain, refusing to make eye contact.
"With whom?" Carlisle inquired.
"Half of Hayes," Edward muttered in a nasal drawl. Despite his state, he still kept the act up, although he realized it might be better to end it soon; if he dared. He didn't know if he could ever look his family in the eye and reveal that he had lied to them for the past year.
"Do not get smart with me!" Carlisle roared with such force that it sent both siblings back. Edward winced. His head was killing him, the wound grew fragile under the bandage; as if the sewn together skin would rip at any time. He squeezed his eyes shut and worked through the pain.
"I took a small room to better be able to see the events," he whispered.
"More like you took a backseat to behold a spectacle, did you? Better men risked their lives while you sipped your port and rested comfortably… and meddled where you shouldn't have. I ought to disinherit you here and in this instant!"
"Papa!" Rosalie exclaimed.
For the first time, Edward looked up, meeting his father's golden eyes with his emerald ones, fighting hard to keep the act up. He had gone too far with his masquerade and he was paying the price now.
"If I could rest, father, I will surely be in a better state to explain—"
"You will explain the time you spent with Isabella Swan!" a broken voice echoed behind Carlisle. Edward's breath hitched in his throat at his mother's words. She had always been rather passive as her husband bashed on him. But hearing the disappointment and hint of anger lacing her words hurt him more than his father's bantering. Much more.
Esmeralda stepped forth, standing next to her husband, looking at her son. She kept her composure but couldn't help but clench her fists. "You will tell me that you did not spend the night with Miss Swan—"
"I did not," he lied, looking up at her through gritted teeth. He looked over at Alice and saw that she had tears in her eyes. "She merely helped me out to the carriage as I could not go myself this morning."
"Do you know how that looks?" Esmeralda lashed out. "Do you know what a scandal you could have involved her in if anyone except their stablemaster and Jensen had seen you? And on the night Cullen might have been shot to death while saving five men from the gallows? I do not know you anymore, Edward." The tears ran now, and he could not bear to look at his crying mother.
The only comfort he held was Rosalie's comforting hand on his upper arm as she squeezed it.
"There is no scandal!" he defended himself. Edward's heart started racing. He'd hate to think that he'd drag Bella's name down because of his folly. He should have had Joseph come and get him instead of her helping him out.
"Mama, papa, he is in no state to be questioned," Rosalie defended. "Let him go to his room and sleep the worst of the hangover off. When he is clearer of mind, he will surely explain everything to us. Yelling at him like this will solve nothing."
Edward squeezed his eyes shut and thanked God for his sister as the voice of reason.
"Get him out of my sight," Carlisle sneered. Esmeralda turned into her husband's embrace as her son was helped up the stairs by Rosalie and Joseph. Alice refused to look at her brother. Jasper pressed his lips together while Emmett frowned, still not understanding why his wife always defended her brother.
They finally got Edward into his room and he slumped down on the bed, in a dizzy state, close to fainting from the pain. Joseph rushed to his side and tore away the clothes, revealing the bandaged abdomen. Rosalie stared at her weakened brother with her hand covering her mouth and her eyes glazed. A few small spots of blood appeared on the white linen and Joseph sighed.
"You must've torn some stitches," he told Edward.
"Get me out of this ridiculous costume and then you can redress the wound and close it up again," Edward muttered. "And get me some brandy to dull the pain," he winced.
Rosalie kept staring passively as Joseph removed the layers of clothes that made up the dandy, wiped away the makeup, and pushed the hair away from his face. She finally saw her real brother beneath it all, his bared torso looking battered with bruises forming here and there. But her eyes were drawn to the right side of his abdomen, to the frightening looking bandages covering him. She knew he had almost died and didn't know how much more she could take of his nightly escapades.
"Joseph, go get some fresh bandages, will you?" she mumbled as she went to the bed to sit next to her brother.
Joseph left without a word, shutting the door behind him. Rosalie sat, passive, as the sunrays pressed through the windows, one stood open, letting the fresh air filter in. Edward kept fixed on the sounds, scents, and sights passing by outside.
"Isn't it time, Edward?" his sister asked in a thick voice, folding her hands neatly in the lap of her mint green gown.
They had had this conversation many times.
He lied there, passive, silent, listening to the chirping birds, the sigh of spring mingling into summer. He remembered the tumult of the night, the smoke, the fights, his brave men, his brave Bella. Their time together. She knew now. And she had not been angry.
"You didn't wish to tell mama or papa because you didn't wish for them to worry about you. But isn't this worse on them?" Rosalie begged. "The way papa looks at you, the way he speaks to you—"
"This is worse," her brother agreed, staring off to the side, avoiding her eyes. "But telling mother…she would sit up and wait for me to return home, having sleepless nights wondering if I was still alive whenever I rode out; as you do. Telling Alice would have her cry her eyes out with worry after getting over the initial shock." He turned to look at her. "But they would eventually understand. But father?" He shook his head. "I think I have gone too far with him and I believe he would never forgive such a lie, he would never forgive me for having brought such shame upon this family, for having sullied the name of Masen, acting as I have." He stopped speaking as his throat closed up.
"No!" Rosalie urged, leaning forward. "Papa would understand, he would eventually see reason—"
"I am afraid!" Edward snapped. "Afraid of his reaction, afraid of what he will think of me after it is revealed I acted this way on purpose to throw the entire family off. I…do not think he'd ever forgive me."
"Is this better? His contempt for you grows, you two only drift further apart, Edward. Soon…as you say, it might be too late to turn back. And how will he know then? With your death? And will Alice, and mama?" She trembled as she lashed out at him. "I agreed to help you in this endeavor…but keeping this act up is hurting everybody."
"We know Willard Athar will be here soon, and when I hand over all the information to him about Wilson, Ridge's death and Forster's corruption, it will be over, Cullen can return to the grave."
"What if Mr. Athar is disposed of as well?"
Edward shook his head. "They'd never dare touch the brother of the Duke of Cantabria. I will not let them."
"Neither Wilson nor Forster will go down without a fight."
"It will all culminate to a rather intense end, I should think." Edward settled back in the bed as Joseph stepped inside, holding something in his hand.
"I found this in your sash," he said, holding up a bloodied piece of paper. It was the letter, Edward realized. The same letter Jacob had received from Jessica Stanley through Bella right before he had met him as Cullen in the Grove to ride into town and save the five farmers. He sighed, reaching for it and opening it up, staring at the written words.
The more he read, the more he paled, straightening up and feeling his eyes widen.
"Sir?" Joseph asked as he saw his master's hefty reaction.
Edward's smile widened. "Joseph, the moment Willard Athar arrives in town, you must make it known to me, is that clear?"
"Of course," Joseph bowed without asking any further questions.
She didn't know what brought her to the stream and the stillness of Raven's Grove. Despite it all, Bella Swan had managed to sneak out of Hayes early one morning, four days after the garrison incident. The people whispered that Cullen was dead, Forster gloated, Collins had started cleaning up the mess after the confrontation at the garrison. He had tried to seek her out, yet she had refused him.
Bella had barely slept, plagued by nightmares of seeing Edward bleeding to death. Her parents had met up with the Masens and talks that she was now to marry the young son resonated in their household.
Marriage.
Despite it all, she didn't consider matrimony with Edward as horrible as her household. She knew him now. She understood him. But she wasn't certain of him. He was a formidable actor, after all. Their union would be another layer in the masquerade and such a reality frightened her. But if there was one thing Bella knew, it was her own feelings toward him. She had stopped trying to suppress them. They were there, real, painfully present; reminding her every waking moment that she could not escape them now.
It had been a year since she had ridden out to Raven's Grove a frisky morning, the dew dotting the greenery. The perfume fresh, inviting. Chirping birds, swaying branches, trickling water, and rustling leaves were the melodic backdrop. It was warmer now. Warm enough for her to discard her outer gown and stand in her shift. Much like a year ago, Bella waded to the water as April munched on the emerald grass.
The young woman didn't react when the icy water touched her skin. She welcomed it, let the coldness wash over her as she waded out further, unwilling to stop until the water reached her waist. She looked out over the dancing water of the stream. The clouds drifted by lazily up in the sky and felt so near that she could almost reach out and touch them. Here she felt free, here she felt safe.
She held her breath and went under the water, taking the season's first dip. When she broke the surface, she felt reborn. She pushed her hair back and sighed. Bella turned around and started moving for the shoreline when she caught sight of a stranger watching her.
Her breath hitched in her throat and she instinctively covered herself, feeling exposed in a chemise that grew nearly transparent. She stared at the man, dressed in torn and worn clothes as he held the reins of a thin and matte-looking horse.
She recognized him, despite the hood covering his features.
He released the reins and pushed the hood back, revealing the handsome face of Edward Masen. Stubble grew on his chin, his hair had tousled, and he was slightly pale. But other than that, he looked healthy, even with the injury she knew him to be having.
Her heartbeat rushed as droplets of water dripped down her hair and skin. Bella was surprised to find him there and blushed madly at being exposed in such a situation.
"I thought I'd find you here," he said, tying the wretched horse to a tree nearby and removing the heavy woolen cape with great strain.
Bella remained hip-deep in water, her chemise hugging the outline of her body, the skin of her shoulders and collarbone exposed. She was at a loss for words until she understood that she was practically naked before him and quickly dipped into the water until it reached her neck.
"W-what are you doing here?" she demanded, still red and flustered.
He stared at her for a moment, tilting his head to the side. "Cornering a forest nymph." A playfully boyish glee followed the statement.
"T-turn around!" she demanded with more force.
"Why?"
"I wish to get out."
He spread his arms with a wince; the glee still firm on his features. "Then, by all means, do not let me stop you."
Her eyes narrowed as she sent him angry glares. "Not until you turn around."
He straightened his posture and crossed his arms. "Then we shall be here for some time, which gives me a wonderful opportunity to breach a subject I'm sure you would have otherwise avoided."
Bella gave out an unladylike snort, shaking her head. "How long did you wait for me to get into the water?"
"Not too long, and you are ignoring my previous statement."
She gritted her teeth. Even with a life-threatening wound, he was as annoying as ever. "Infernal man," she snickered.
He chuckled. Edward pushed his hair back and rolled up the sleeves of his shirt. There was a casual way about him; laid-back, relaxed and comfortable that she found so attractive. This man was the true Edward and he had no problem showing it to her.
He regarded her for a moment, the gentle early summer breeze pushing against them, causing ripples in the water. Early morning sighed and Raven's Grove enveloped the couple.
Edward slowly sat down on a boulder with a grimace, close to the shoreline. "I am certain your parents have already mentioned the supposed scandal you and I find ourselves in," he sighed.
"I told them there was no such thing. Hayes doesn't know, anyway. Jessica Stanley only speaks of the night those farmers were rescued. Lucy hasn't mentioned anything and even Mr. Simmons hasn't been spreading any gossip."
"As did I tell mine," he echoed and then arched an eyebrow. "Did yours believe you?"
"No," she muttered, frowning at the water.
"Tomorrow you and your parents will come to our house and my father has found it absolutely essential that we solve this by offering me to marry you."
Another scoff escaped her as she rolled her eyes. "I'm sure our fathers would arrive at such an agreement."
"They are only trying to help you—"
"We did nothing wrong; I did nothing wrong!" she lashed out, shooting up and out of the water. "I cannot marry someone for a lie." She pointed an accusing finger at him, forgetting herself as she started wading toward him. "Do you even wish to marry me? You know very well it could not be undone. Indeed, Mr. Masen, why would you marry someone you didn't…you didn't…" She hesitated to say the last word. "I helped you—helped Cullen because I admire what you have done thus far. But I will not be another player in this masquerade of yours and then live the rest of my life with the consequences…with an affection that was…one-sided," she whispered to herself. She was angry, flustered and almost ready to growl in burning ire, ignoring the morning in Lucy's chamber, forgetting for an instant how he had looked at her. But, deep within, she had to know how he felt. Perhaps that was where her fear stemmed from, the strong feelings slowly emerging within herself and not knowing how to handle them.
Bella stopped before him, completely ignorant of her state of undress. Edward stood up and looked at her calmly not unable to help as his eyes trailed up and down her form. He let her gather her wits before speaking.
His eyes regarded her the same way they had in Lucy's room; the loving look her parents would give one another. It caused her to calm, it spoke more than words ever could. Her breath hitched in her throat as she read the depths of his eyes. She grew warm when she received such a look and understood that his feelings for her were true—had always been true.
"It was never a masquerade to me," he reminded her.
She grew mesmerized by him, drawn in by his eyes, his presence.
Then, without a word, he pulled her into his embrace, pressing his lips to hers, holding her against him. At first, she grew tense, her eyes wide and alarmed. But when she realized that she enjoyed his lips against hers, herself in his arms, she melted into him. Around them, the woodlands sighed at the sight of two lovers entwined in their embrace. She shut her eyes and let herself be taken in by the moment, let him express his feelings for her through the kiss. Sometimes, actions were better than words. Sometimes, that which remained unspoken held much more power.
Bella knew now, what Alice had spoken of. She finally understood the words and wondered how she hadn't noticed it before. Their tongues danced together as the kiss grew more passionate, stirring the butterflies in her lower abdomen, causing a flush to extend itself from the base of her throat all the way up to her cheeks.
He softly ended the kiss, staring straight into her eyes, still holding her firmly in his arms. Bella was at a loss for words, not certain how to react. Her lips were swollen, her eyes wide and water still dripping from her hair.
Her hand went to his cheek, watching every line in his face as if trying to discern who he really was. "You are an enigma to me, Edward Masen," she whispered to him with a frown. "At moments, it feels like I have you figured out; as if I have solved the puzzle." His brow furrowed, copper locks tumbling further into his eyes. "And then I find a whole new layer to you that I didn't see before."
"I know I haven't been honest with you," he mumbled to her, an expression of pain shooting through his features. "I have lied and been deceitful." He looked at her. "To me, when I was with you…as Masen, as Cullen…it was never a lie. I want to be with you. For me, this marriage wouldn't be a ruse, it would be real: the only real thing I would experience…save my feelings for you," he mumbled. "I know that after so many lies, trusting my word is—"
Bella shifted, shaking her head slowly and effectively silencing him.
"I…believe you," she cut him short, her hand now resting on his shoulder. "If you say it was true, if you say it was never make-belief then I believe you." They had not been good at communicating, and the confusion had led to misinterpretation on her behalf. She saw the honesty in him, understood that he had let go entirely of the façade for her.
His breath hitched in his throat at her words, at the honesty in them. She slowly stepped away from him, hugging her shivering body. "I…trust you."
He had never given her a true reason to do so, yet she placed her faith in him. But she had given him more than enough reason to trust her. "Regardless, I will not push you into anything," he nodded. "Tomorrow you make your own decision and I shall support whatever that may be."
He took her hand in his, bowing over it and placing a tender kiss on the back of it. She held her breath again. Edward straightened up. There was little she could say to him, much like there was little he could say to her. He knew that she said it now, but Edward also understood the meaning of marriage. It was her future, and while he wanted to spend it with her, it was her decision to make. He would not coerce her into anything. The longer he stayed with her in Raven's Grove, the more he wished to plead to her to marry him. But he would not, his insufferable pride would not allow him. The same pride and fear which had him hide his identity from his family.
He went to get his wretched horse with her staring after him in defeat. He mounted, with great difficulty, to ride away. How on earth had he ever managed to come to Raven's Grove with a fresh gunshot wound? She stared after him and wished to shout out for him, to stop him.
But she didn't. Her lips pressed together as her breath left her chest. Seeing him leave her filled her with a strange sorrow.
In the gentle breeze of summer, she stared down at her bare feet, comforted by the emerald carpet upon which she stood. The pooling water and chirping birds seemed gone.
Bella clasped her hands before her nervously. Five days since the incident at the garrison had passed. Five days of uncertainty, fear, commotion. Cullen was now supposed dead by all. Hayes was closed down, she would not get to St. Nicholas and speak with Jacob, fearing that drawing him out even at the safe haven of the church, might place him in danger. Only the rides to Raven's Grove helped. Otherwise, she could do nothing but sit at home and grit her teeth. The occurrence at the garrison and the death of Cullen silenced any other gossip. Bella Swan's escort of a very drunk Edward Masen seemed to have gone by completely unnoticed. Yet, both families still wished to remedy the situation, to save Bella Swan's reputation should such information ever get out.
They sat in the Masen gardens, all in uncomfortable silence. Rosalie eyed her with extra curiosity. Both women now shared the same burden of knowing Edward's secret. Edward sat next to his sister, staring at the intricate pommel of his ivory cane. He was dressed up as always. Had she never been there to care for his wound, she would never have guessed he'd been shot.
Alice was next to her, but her countenance was subdued. Charles and Carlisle conversed in hushed voices while Esmeralda and Renée whispered in a corner.
It was awful, truly awful, Bella thought. She knew she hadn't done anything wrong, yet she felt extremely guilty. Maybe it was due to the secret she now kept. Edward kept up the act wonderfully, almost making her wonder if there were not really two of him.
Carlisle finally stepped forth, standing before the family as Charles joined him. "We have arrived at a solution to save Miss Swan's reputation."
Charles looked at his daughter sheepishly, then cast his eyes to the ground.
"Miss Swan, it is your choice. My son will do as I bid," he said, glaring at Edward. She nodded, gripping the fabric of her skirts, frowning slightly as the early summer breeze swept past her. "If we could announce that you and my son have been engaged for the past fortnight and are to be wed this summer, any chance of this scandal leaking will lessen," Carlisle murmured, looking at Bella. "But the choice remains yours, if you would have my son or not, we are merely offering a solution and he knows his duty to you."
Bella's breath caught in her throat and she felt Alice tense up next to her. A solution indeed, but it would be to appease both families. There were no rumors floating around in Hayes, no malicious tongues wagging. She cast her eyes to Edward, but he remained passive, his eyes cast to the ground. Inwardly she chuckled, he was tense, wondering what she would say. He had shown all his cards the previous day and left the decision up to her.
She rose to stand. "Mr. Masen and I have done nothing wrong," she defended. "Nor anything dishonest."
"We understand that, but you must also understand how it looks for us," Carlisle sighed.
"Miss Swan," Esmeralda said, walking up to her. "We are offering what we believe to be the best solution. It is up to you if you wish to take it or not."
The crowd stared at her and Bella grew restless under their gazes, fiddling with her hands even more.
"Leave the poor girl be," the nasal voice drawled. "If she does not wish to be my bride, we cannot force her. Heaven have mercy if I should force her into anything." He looked as arrogant as she remembered him to be. Edward got up and she saw it cost him dearly when no one else did. He walked up to her slowly. "Miss Swan, I formally ask for your hand in marriage," he said with a bored countenance. He stifled a yawn. "A refusal would crush me."
"Dear Lord," Renée muttered under her breath. She hoped her daughter had some sense to not marry this man. How indeed would Bella ever be able to tolerate him?
Bella placed her hands on her hips and arched an eyebrow. "Mr. Masen," she said after a while with an air of resignation. "If I am to even consider marrying you, there will have to be some changes."
"My dear girl, tis a simple question, not a business transaction," he chuckled.
The parents, siblings, and spouses stared in silent awe as the couple bantered. Bella crossed her arms and scoffed. "You will begin by dressing like a normal and decent human being," she smirked.
Edward arched an eyebrow, but she saw, from the look in his eyes that he was playing along. She was offering him a way out of the masquerade without having to reveal everything at once. "This is all the rage at the Brit—"
"It might be all the rage there, but if I ever see another frill on you, Mr. Masen, I shall never bear you any children and nag at you constantly until your ears drop off."
"Did she just accept?" Renée whispered to her husband as her face dropped.
"Is she mad?" Emmett muttered to Rosalie under his breath. He did not notice how his wife fought hard to hide the smirk at the spectacle both parties were giving.
"Bella," Alice sighed, but she couldn't help as her lips stretched into a smile.
Edward pressed his lips together as if the very thought of sacrificing his sense of fashion was a deal breaker. "My father is adamant I marry you, Miss Swan." He cast a glance at Carlisle, who could not believe what he was hearing from Bella. "I will aim to dress as it pleases you," he groaned.
"Furthermore," Bella continued, savoring the power. She was getting back at him for all the times he had teased her as Cullen. "I would hate to think you felt pushed into this situation." She was genuine now. "I will only have you if you will have me."
Silence, utter and astonished silence.
Edward kept the mask of indifference on and Bella grew nervous. Maybe he didn't want her after all. Yet, she remembered how he had looked at her the previous day; it was enough to make her knees week. He walked up to her and took her hand, gently kissing the back of it. "You already know my answer," he told her, dropping the thin voice for an instant and letting the truth of his feelings for her be evident, making her blush slightly.
"Then it is settled," Bella told the dumbfounded spectators. "It appears I have a fiancé. Now," she fiddled, growing flustered at all eyes on her. "Do excuse me," she muttered, rushing out.
They all stared after her, still processing the situation.
"That went…much better than I expected," Carlisle mumbled. "W-what just happened?" he asked in a general direction while looking at his son.
"It seems you finally managed to marry me off, father," Edward drawled. "I think I shall retire as well, this sunlight is giving me a terrible headache," he muttered while parting ways.
Alice's eyes shone. "I cannot wait to burn those awful frocks of his!"
Bella enjoyed the refreshing air of the afternoon. Aye, she had not felt this happy in a long time. Her heart swelled whenever she thought of Edward. When the rest of the world seemed to be tumbling into chaos, she was only captivated by two green orbs. Her family had remained at the Masen townhouse for the rest of the day, celebrating. Bella had sat in a haze, avoiding the inquisitive looks of the servants, of her mother, her father, and her friends. It was strange to think that Alice was soon to become her sister-in-law.
She stared at the exquisite gardens, left alone to enjoy them. Edward had kept away from her for some time and she wondered why. Most of the family had retired to the inside and left her be as well. Bella could still not wrap her head around what had just been decided, and on her part, nonetheless.
Bella had been blind to herself, and to Edward for a long time.
She recognized the signs Alice had been speaking of—signs that had been there for some time. But she was not some fool. She would not blindly jump into a situation she didn't fully understand.
When the clatter of shoes on gravel sounded, she looked up. The Masen gardens were small, she remarked. But cozy. The afternoon air was fresh, whispering winds caressed her soft skin that grew feverish at the mere sight of him.
He dressed down. The frock was off, only a white shirt remained with the sleeves rolled up, the ends of the shirt tucked into his dark brown trousers. The boots had scuff marks here and there. The linen of his shirt looked wrinkled and his hair was rid of the gel.
"Seems you took my words of a simpler dress literally," she blurted out as she went to stand up from the bench by the stone platform. In the shadow of the house, she saw Alice peeking at them.
He walked up to her, once more himself.
"Alice has already raided my closet. There is little left."
Before he could continue, Bella cut him off. "I am sorry I gave you no warning," she started, taking a few steps back. Suddenly she grew shy.
A hand reached out to take her arm. "It's…alright," he murmured, turning to face her with some difficulty. His stitches still had to be sore. She wondered how he had even ridden to the stream the previous day to begin with.
She stood in a silent awkwardness, regarding him.
The gardens seemed to call for them and she looked past his shoulder. "Will you take a walk with me?" she asked him.
He arched an eyebrow, but soon offered her his arm and they started walking to the back of the gardens where fragrant rose bushes and fruit trees lined the wall.
Both walked in a strained silence. He knew she had come there for a reason, knew that she found it hard to express herself. But soon Bella Swan stopped and looked at him for a long time.
"I'm surprised you accepted so quickly," he said in a pleasant tone.
"I…," she started.
"I thought you would need more time… you know, to process it all."
"I've known who you were since you hid in my chambers as Cullen," she told him, mindful that no one was listening in on them. But the gardens seemed empty.
He arched an eyebrow. "Why didn't you tell me earlier?"
Bella blushed. "I might have wanted to get back at you," she mumbled. It stirred a slight chuckle in him. "I might have…been afraid…of what it would mean."
They continued their promenade to a tree near the end of the garden. He paused, emerald orbs digging into her as they always did. "Why… did you accept?"
She had tried to understand herself as well. "When first I met you as Masen, I thought you were a complete and insufferable fool," she admitted. "When I met you as Cullen, I admit I was taken in by you, even if you did vex me. However, when you sought me out as Masen, when we had our walks; when you relaxed around me…I feel I got to see a glimpse of who you really were. And I do not think I knew at the time, but Masen pulled me in just as much as Cullen did."
Edward stood dumbfounded. He never thought the fop would have had a chance with her.
"The promenades, the way you made me laugh…" she turned to him. "That was what won me over." The confession had her almost ashamed as she looked at her slippers in the grass. His eyes shot up to her, the emerald orbs glinting mysteriously in the afternoon light. He hung onto every word she was uttering.
"I know that I caught glimpses, glimpses of the man behind this whole masquerade. I know I got to see him. During our promenades, I think he stepped out, at certain moments. When you came to me as Cullen, I could sense him too. That is the man I'd like to know. The real Edward, the Edward I helped patch together in Lucy's chamber, the Edward who came riding to meet me at the stream, the Edward I believe is now standing here before me as well."
Edward didn't realize he'd been holding his breath until he let it go; its release like a gust of wind. He had always known her to be perceptive, yet never to such a level. She had seen what nobody else had been able to. Or, maybe she had managed to unmask him because she had seen him both as Masen and as Cullen. He swallowed, feeling bared before her.
"I know I kissed you back in that chapel for a reason, even if I didn't want to admit to it at first. You frightened me."
He was about to talk when she stopped him. "Frightened me with the thought that you…are continuously risking your life. That any night you leave as Cullen could be your…last." She fought hard to control her emotions. "It became even more real to me when I found you behind Lucy's, bleeding out." Her voice trembled and he took her in his embrace, holding her firmly against him.
His hand brushed against her cheek as he moved in closer. "I would never leave you, Bella. I would never let myself get hurt or killed. Not now when I finally have you in my arms," he whispered into her ear.
She nuzzled against him, closing her eyes and breathing in the familiar scent that seemed to calm her now. "This feels right," she whispered after a while, evoking the question he had asked her in the chapel. "This feels right," she sighed, looking up at him.
"This," he said, cupping her face in his hands, letting his true emotions reflect through his features. The mask he had so expertly crafted washed away. "This is everything I need, Bella. I never thought I could have this…have you," he admitted. "I never supposed it to be so, especially not when Collins started chaperoning you."
"I should have listened to you all, regarding Collins," she murmured. "He…he was not who I thought."
"Worry not about him anymore," Edward calmed her, placing a lingering kiss on her forehead.
It was almost nightfall, and she was in the stables, brushing April. A smile would occasionally find itself onto her face whenever she thought about her Edward. For he was now indeed hers.
Suddenly, she heard two boots near. Her heart soared, thinking Edward had paid her a visit. But that would be strange. They had agreed to ease into their roles as fiancés. He should not be here for her now.
When she turned around, she understood indeed that it could not be him. She did not think it would bring him to her doorstep; the word could not have spread so fast.
Collins looked utterly broken down—as if he had not slept for a full week. There was a scruff growing on his chin, his always neat and combed-back ponytail slipping out of its knot, the golden locks tumbling into his face. His uniform was wrinkled, and he had dark circles under his eyes.
He stared at her for a moment with such a hollow look that Bella almost had a mind to call for help. The way he looked at her made her heart clench painfully in her chest. Despite it all, she had cared enough for this man to consider matrimony with him at one point.
"Out of all the suitors you might have had, why did it have to be Masen?" he asked in a broken and accusing tone.
Bella put down the brush. "It's difficult to explain, James," she began.
"No," he shook his head violently. "Not it is not. I saw you lead him, too drunk to even walk straight. I saw you help him out from Lucy's tavern the morning after Cullen's attack!"
His statement angered her, but she controlled her temper. "And you jump to conclusions, James. Do you truly think so little of me that I would lose my reputation in such a way?"
He pointed a finger at her. "Indeed, you are right. Why would you be with him, if not to ensnare him? You chose money and a title before actual feelings, Bella. I…I would have given you the world! He will not marry you; he cannot marry you! Can you not understand that?" He growled and took a step back, not wishing to scare her. "No…you cannot have chosen him! You…you were at the wrong place at the wrong time, and now you are trapped with him. That's it, isn't it?" He tried to see reason in her union with Edward Masen.
A sad expression etched its way onto her features. "We are engaged, this is how things are now, James. And nothing can be done to change them. I will marry Mr. Masen and you will have to accept that."
He neared her, his icy blue eyes growing red with unshed tears. Bella felt his pain and abhorred being the cause of it.
"I can still save you, Isabella, if you will have me—"
"Is everything alright here, Miss Swan?" asked a voice to their left. Robert, the stablemaster, was walking toward them, suspicious eyes passing over Collins.
"Quite alright, no need to be alarmed, Robert," she answered back. Some tears had escaped Collins' eyes and she felt her own eyes water slightly. "James, I'm sorr—"
He stepped toward her, looking as if he wished to reach out and touch her. Robert sprung to Bella, but she put up a hand and let Collins act as he wished. The once proud major let his hand grace her chin, an inner conflict taking hold.
"No, I'm sorry I wasn't enough for you," he growled causing a sharp intake of breath on her behalf before he turned around and left her standing.
Collins did not look back. He knew that if he did, he'd rush up to her and take her with him. Everything was wrong, everything had tumbled downhill after Forster and Wilson had discovered his secret and used Bella against him. And now he had lost her, after all.
The major got up on his horse and hurried back to the garrison. Forster made it clearer each day that he was in command. Wilson did not hold as big an aversion to visit the captain as he had before. He did not fear the gossip after people now only speculated about Cullen's death or spoke Isabella Swan's engagement.
He did not wish to ponder on the ghost's passing. He had seen him shot that night. But there hadn't been a body. Collins knew the masked man to be fickle, and he supposed it would take more than a mere bullet to kill him. But Forster had pushed the notion forward to calm Wilson. Collins had read some of the threats Cullen had been sending to Wilson after he had unmasked the mayor. Wilson had every reason to be frightened, which was probably the reason he'd been holding so many soirées: surrounding himself with people brought a false sense of security. But Collins knew Cullen, that man would not be stopped by a crowd, not at this stage.
What if he had only been severely wounded? What if someone had saved him and nursed him back to health? He couldn't know, of course, until it was confirmed that Cullen was either dead or alive.
Collins rode up to the garrison: the place he now abhorred. He gave a soldier his horse and walked with heavy steps to his office building, knowing Forster would be waiting for him there.
The captain was lounging comfortably in his chair. The scar was painfully present, but Forster did little to cover it up anymore.
"How did you find Miss Swan?" he asked without looking up, twirling a small knife around in his nimble hand.
Collins paused. "I never said I went there," he muttered, removing the dark green military jacket.
"Well, one of my corporals saw you riding to her house," the captain tsked. "Didn't I tell you to leave her be? That she would be ungrateful?"
"You did," Collins growled.
Forster threw the knife across the table and put his feet down on the floor, leaning forward in his chair. "Wilson wishes to know if you will partake in our plan regarding Athar," the captain asked, his eyes regarding the tired countenance of Collins. "It's not like you have that little wench to worry for anymore," he smirked. "And helping us would enrich and empower you," he blinked. "There will be more women, Collins."
Collins stared at the knife for a long time, hearing the cumbersome ticking of the clock hanging on the wall. He licked his lips. Aye, he had little left to lose and everything to gain by helping Wilson and Forster. Besides, his hands were already dirty. The more time he spent in their company, the more he lost of himself, realizing his ethics and morals were drifting away like dust in the wind.
"I shall help you," he whispered, his icy blue eyes growing colder after having said the words. He did not catch the cold smirk spreading across Forster's chapped lips.
A sudden knock sounded on the door and a corporal, under Forster's command, stepped in unannounced. "Mr. Athar has just arrived and is asking for you, major." He turned to his captain. "You as well, captain."
"Thank you, you may leave," Forster spat. He turned to Collins. "Remember what you just said, James. There is no turning back now."
A/N: Sorry for the prolonged wait! Hectic week. Anyhow, here is another chapter :) I hope you liked it.
I want to inform you that next week, I will be going away on vacation. I need to work on my tan cause Lord knows I'm pasty a.f, which is not acceptable for a half-spaniard lol. Because of this, the fic will be on a short hiatus of around 2 weeks. I thought I'd warn you so you don't go expecting updates two to three times a week as per usual. I will try to post chapter 28 before leaving, at least :)
Best regards, and wishing you a lovely summer 3
Cheers,
Isabelle