Trigger warnings for this chapter.

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"My family and I are leaving."

"You're not good for me."

"It will be as if I never existed."

I shot up in my bed. His words still echoed in my head, as if he had just said them. My heart was pounding in my chest but I hadn't made any noise, otherwise Charlie would be in here trying to comfort me.

I checked the clock.

3am.

I sighed. I wasn't going back to bed now. I never did after a nightmare.

I climbed out of bed as quietly as I could. I went to my closet and dug through as quickly and as quietly as possible. After a minute I found exactly what I was looking for, an extra blade from Charlie's toolbox.w

I went back to the bed and took a deep breath. His words were still fresh in my mind. Each one was like a dagger to my heart.

I held the blade to my arm, my right arm this time as my left was still bandaged up. I started with a small nick, enough to draw blood but not enough to do any real harm.

I sighed in relief. It was working. I pressed the blade to my arm and pressed down hard and pulled.

Not even a second later there was a gust of wind and the blade was gone. Only my first, small cut was visible on my skin. The other was just a dot of blood. I looked up and found Tanya twirling the blade in her hand. Small amounts of my blood coated her fingers. Either the blood didn't bother her or she did a good job hiding it. Although now that I think about it she had been around my blood, a lot of my blood, yesterday and didn't react.

"I would say I was surprised but we both know that is a lie," Tanya commented, still twirling the blade. "I knew yesterday wasn't the first or last time. I had hoped you wouldn't…" She squeezed her hand and the blade turned to dust. She dropped the dust on the floor.

That blade had been my only solace. The only thing that kept me going and now it was gone, dust on my floor, and I was furious. I opened my mouth to yell and scream at Tanya. I didn't care if Charlie heard me and found her in my room. I didn't care if he found out about me, or about vampires. All that mattered was Tanya ruined everything.

Before I could say anything, I was outside in a small clearing a few miles away from the house. Tanya must have known I was angry and moved me away so we wouldn't wake Charlie.

"How dare you," I screamed at her. I closed the distance between us and began banging on her chest with my fists. Small drops of blood flew onto her clothes. "You come here pretending you care about me and you take away the one thing that helped me. It's because of your kind that I'm even like this."

I went on and on until my voice was hoarse. Tanya did nothing but stand there and wait until I was done. Even though I was angry, I was also surprised she stood there and took it. I couldn't think of a single vampire that would allow a human to hit and scream at them, not that the hitting did anything to her.

"Are you done?" she asked raising an eyebrow at me.

I nodded. My will to fight was gone and I was exhausted. My legs gave out but I never hit the ground. Tanya caught me and we both dropped to the ground.

"I never pretended to care," she continued, cradling me against her chest. "None of us did. That blade, no matter how much you think it helps, it doesn't. This is not the answer Bella. This will never be the answer. I'm sorry you believe I took away your only choice. But I will never be sorry for saving you, for keeping you alive. Hate me if you want, at least you will be alive to do it."

For the first time in months I cried. I broke down and cried in Tanya's arms. I wasn't entirely sure why I was crying. Whether it was for my lost love, or me.

Tanya said nothing. She simply rubbed my back and rocked me back and forth. When I was done crying I pulled away and found myself back in my bed, with Tanya laying next to me.

"How? When?"

"Once you were calm I brought you back," Tanya explained.

"What time is it?" I asked. I was exhausted.

"Just after four in the morning." I groaned. I had to get up in less than two hours for school. I felt like I hadn't slept at all. "Tell your dad you don't feel well," she suggested. "Do you want me to stay with you?"

"Yes," I mumbled sleepily. "What about Charlie though?"

"I'll hide if he comes and checks on you," she promised. "Sleep Bella." She kissed my forehead and I went back to sleep.

"Bella," Charlie called softly.

I rolled over and slowly opened my eyes. "Yeah?"

"It's after six," he told me. "You're going to be late for school." He studied me for a minute. "I'll call the school and tell them you're out sick today. Get some rest." I must have looked terrible for him to say that.

I rolled over and closed my eyes again.

When I finally woke up it was after ten in the morning. I don't remember the last time I slept that late. I rolled over. My bed was empty. It took me a minute to realize that Tanya had been in my bed earlier in the morning and now she wasn't.

"Morning Bella," Irina called coming into my room with a tray of pancakes, eggs and bacon as well as orange juice and milk. It was enough to feed me and Charlie.

"Good morning," I greeted staring at the tray. Since when did they know how to cook?

Irina sat the tray down in front of me. "I looked it up," she said answering my unspoken question.

"You didn't have to do this," I said grabbing the fork and knife. I was surprised they even let me use a knife after last night… and the day before.

"I know," Irina said sitting in the rocking chair by my bed. "You need to eat though. You are far too skinny."

"Where is Tanya?" I questioned in between mouthfuls of pancakes. For a vampire that has probably never cooked before it was pretty good.

"She needed to hunt and run a couple errands," Irina replied.

"Oh," I said dropping my silverware. I wasn't hungry now.

"Bella," Irina growled, her eyes darkened slightly. "Eat. Tanya will be back when she's finished."

I started eating again. I had a bad feeling Irina would force feed me if I didn't eat. Irina was considerate enough to not watch me eat. I appreciated it. It always made me self-conscious to have vampires stare at me as I ate.

"What do you want to do today?" Irina asked. She grabbed one of my books, Wuthering Heights, and flipping through it.

I shrugged. I didn't have plans of any kind. I was actually supposed to be in school. Then again, I should be doing homework. I wasn't entirely sure what my grades were but I was sure I was failing most of my classes. "Homework," I answered.

Irina made a face. "That does not sound fun. We can help you with homework later. Hell, we could do the homework for you."

I shook my head. On the off chance I actually cared about my future I wanted to earn my grades. It wouldn't help me in the slightest if vampires were doing my schoolwork for me. "I'll do it."

Another gust of wind came and I knew Tanya was here. "Bella," she greeted cautiously.

"Tanya, I'm sorry about—" I began.

Tanya held up her hand. "Don't apologize." She pulled something from her pocket and sat it on the bed beside me. It was a simple flip phone. "Don't say anything," she said before I could protest. "The phone has all of our numbers programmed into it. If you need something, if you need anything, call one of us. We will be here."

I took the phone though I had no intention of ever using it. I tucked it away in my nightstand. Charlie would never look there so there was no chance of the phone being discovered. The last thing I wanted to do was explain to Charlie why some strangers bought me a phone.

"Are you two done being awkward around each other?" Kate had arrived. I looked up and she was perched on my desk, like she had been there the whole time.

"We talked about this Kate," Tanya said with a glare.

"Yes, I know. Don't going into Bella's room without permission," Kate recited. She nodded toward Irina. "She didn't get permission and technically neither did you."

She had a point. Vampires kept showing up uninvited.

Tanya muttered something that sounded a lot like technicality. "So what are we doing today?" Tanya asked echoing Irina's earlier question.

I shrugged. I didn't want to do anything. I would be perfectly content to stay here and do nothing. I would be even happier if they left.

"Why don't I go rent some movies?" Kate suggested. "I can buy a bunch of crappy human food for Bella to snack on."

Tanya looked at me. I nodded. It wouldn't give me time to myself but it was as close as I could get with their now constant presence. "Go Kate."

An hour later we were gathered in the living room. Kate had gone overboard on the movies and the snacks. She bought enough food for a movie theatre. I flipped through the stack of movies. None of them were rented. Kate actually bought them all and they were all classic movies.

"Psycho, really Kate?" Irina asked picking up the movie.

"It's a classic," Kate protested.

"Are any of these from this century?" Tanya questioned.

Kate shrugged. "There might be one or two. I didn't really pay attention."

I grabbed the movie from Irina. "Let's watch this," I suggested, tossing it to Kate so she could put it into the DVD player.

"Are you sure?" Tanya asked.

"Yes," I replied. "It's not like its actually scary. Maybe when it came out it was but not now."

That's what we did for the rest of the day. We watched movies. I ate the junk food provided by Kate.

The sound of a car door pulled me away from my thoughts. "Charlie," I realized. I glanced at the clock. 5:13pm.

The three vampires had the living room cleaned up before I could register what was going on. "If you need us just call," Tanya said. She kissed my forehead and disappeared.

I stood in the living room, stunned by what just happened. "Bella," Charlie called.

"In the living room," I called back.

Charlie walked in to the living room with two boxes of pizza and a two liter of root beer. "I brought dinner, one supreme and one pepperoni," he said raising the boxes.

"I'll get the plates," I said. "Do you want a beer?"

"Please," he said.

I returned minutes later with two plates, napkins, a cup with ice for me and a cold beer for Charlie. Once we were settled in the living room Charlie turned on the game.
"How are you feeling Bella?" Charlie asked.

"Okay," I answered honestly, peeling off the pepperoni's from my pizza.

"Tomorrow night I'm heading to La Push to have dinner with Billy and Jacob," Charlie began. "I want you to come. I know Jacob misses you."

"I don't know Dad," I said. I wasn't sure how comfortable I was with going to La Push, and being around Jacob. He was always so… happy and I didn't want to bring him down.

"Bella, you need to get out and stop moping around," Charlie said firmly.

"Fine," I agreed. The only reason I agreed was because I know Charlie would try to force me to go. Although I was eighteen and he couldn't really force me to do anything. It was easier to say yes and continue the illusion that I was okay.

"Good," Charlie said with a smile. "I talked to some of your teachers."

I winced. I knew my grades were bad but I was hoping Charlie didn't know. "Yeah…"

"You need to get those grades up," Charlie continued. "It's important for college. Even if you decide to take a year off before going to college, grades in high school still matter."

"I know Dad," I told him. "I'll work on it."

"I'll clean up the kitchen," he said once we were done eating. "Go get started on your make up work for today."

I trekked up the stairs to my room. I was surprised, and mildly disappointed, to find it empty. I half-expected Tanya to be laying on my bed when I returned.

I shut the door behind me and sighed in relief. It felt good to have some time to myself.

The stock of homework Charlie brought home was sitting on my desk. I stared at it for several minutes before sighing and sitting down to get started.

Homework was the furthest thing from my mind. More than twenty minutes had passed and I was still staring at it. Nothing made sense. It made me realize I would need their help after all.

My fingers lightly traced my newest cut. I wouldn't be about to cut anymore with vampires watching my every move. In fact I would never be able to do anything involving blood which meant I would need more creative ways to kill myself.

I pushed the work, and my thoughts, aside. I wasn't sure who was outside tonight but I knew how to get their attention. "I could use some help in here," I whispered, knowing whoever was out there would come help. Well I knew Tanya, Kate and Irina would come. The others I wasn't so sure about.

The one who did show up was the last person I expected. Laurent.

"Bella," he greeted cautiously. He stood by my window, like he was ready to flee at any moment.

I stared at him. If I was being honest I was scared of him. He was a part of the coven that tried to kill me, that is still trying to kill me.

"I can leave," he offered. "Irina was going to come but I volunteered. I can go get her."

I shook my head. Whether it was because I hoped he would rip my throat out or because I thought he could help me I wasn't sure. "You can stay."

I moved to my bed so Laurent could have the chair. My homework was now spread across my bed, separated by subject.

"Let's start with history," Laurent suggested.

"Because you lived through it?" I mumbled under my breath.

To my surprise he laughed. "Exactly."

I grabbed my Government homework. It was just a fill in the blank, short answer and one essay question. I handed it to Laurent. He flipped through it faster than I could blink.

"Why don't you answer what you can while I mark pages in your book?" he suggested.

We worked silently. He flipped through my textbook and marked sections with my small post its. Most of the questions were pretty easy. There were a few I needed to skip but overall I made short work of the worksheet.

Once Laurent was done with the Government book he handed it to me and moved on to the next subject. We worked for several hours. The only thing spoken during that time was him recommending that I take notes on the topics he marked.

After another hour Laurent dropped the book he was holding and cocked his head to the side. I was starting the recognize the signs of vampires communicating. Someone outside was talking to him.

"Bella, you should probably go to bed," he said. He didn't wait for a response he immediately started cleaning up my bed.

I glanced at the clock. It was after midnight. By the time I registered how late it was Laurent had already cleaned everything up. "Good night Bella," he said before leaving my room.