Paradise Lost

by AiriaMurillo

They heard about it and signed up thinking nothing was going to happen. Then America gets involved in World War 1 and they are all sent off for training. It is soon known that one has more experience than others and a horrific past he must try and escape from. The pay is high but the risks are is a way to make money but are these young men really going to risk their lives

5. Chapter 5

Paradise Lost Chapter 5

*PSA- All characters might not behave as they would do irl for STORY purposes only. Just putting that out there*

16th of January 1917 – Private Jorel Decker's point of view

Rigo woke us up nice and early because Danny was just starting to wake up and he has asked Dylan and I to be there for his brother while Rigo gets us all some breakfast. He doesn't want Danny to wake up on his own since he won't really know where he is as soon as he wakes up. The others are not awake yet, but they will see Danny later on today if the nurse decides he is well enough to leave. We have another long day of training ahead of us. I am hoping that Danny will be able to sit in for more of theory-based lessons that we have today. When he recovers a little more from the beating, he suffered he can do more of the lessons that he wants to do and enjoys more. He will have a lot of fun here I am sure.

We made it into the infirmary just in time. I could see that Danny was slowly starting to wake up now and we are going to be right by his bedside when he opens his eyes. I go to take his left hand this time. He seems to be responding to me a little more now. His finger twitched against my hand and I was reassuring him while he was coming round. I keep telling him that everything is going to be fine and how he was safe now. I wasn't doing it too frequently though because we know it could irritate him. His eyes were starting to flutter open now and Dylan and I told him to take his time and that there is no rush. A few minutes later Danny slowly opened his eyes for the first time. This all felt familiar to me like I have been here before. Danny has been so ill he has required hospital treatment and has been unconscious and I have been here when he has woken up every time.

"Hey Danny, how do you feel now?" I ask him, my other hand is in his hair to keep him calm. I hear him sigh and I rub his scalp which helped. "I am really sore, but I will be okay," he tells me, his voice is a little scratchy, but that was because he didn't talk at all yesterday after he had fallen asleep. "All right Danny. Just take it easy okay? You are going to spend today resting," I tell him, and Dylan smiles at the younger one. "What happened yesterday?" Danny asks, he has now realised that he is not in the billet where he fell asleep yesterday. He wasn't scared though which was good for us. It was like his body knew that even though he has woken up in a new place he still feels safe. He even smiled at me. That makes me happy that he is feeling safe and comfortable. He is definitely like my baby brother.

"We couldn't wake you up when I got back from training. We found a few infected cuts on your back, so we took you here to get them fixed," I tell him. Danny trusts me a lot because I am that honest with him. Danny turned onto his side to help with the pain he must be in right now. "Oh, I didn't realise that he had done that. I know something stung when Jake checked me over, but I didn't know what. My back has also been hurting but I thought that was part of the whole I was on a train for two days," he tells me. I hugged him carefully to avoid hurting him or touching those nasty cuts on his back. "I bet you weren't expecting that, but you will be okay when the cuts heal up," I tell him. Danny smiled and hugged me back tightly.

He felt safe with Dylan and I which is good. The tight hug was him reassuring himself how safe he is now. I think when he is more awake, he is realising that his father really can't get to him here which is going to be a nice break from all the abuse and suffering. Danny is still smiling, and it is currently the longest I have ever seen him smile since we were children and the abuse wasn't that bad back then because Rigo and Kyle were still at home and the main focus of the abuse. I hated that it ever happened to any of them and I want to turn back time and make sure that it never got to happen even if I was not born when it started happening to Rigo and Kyle. I only like the man because he helped create my best friend. After that I don't respect or like the man because of his other actions.

With Danny not being aware of his own injuries it didn't surprise me because I know that he has been injured so frequently that he has lost track of how many injuries he has and in what locations they are. The train did give me some back ache too. It was not comfortable at all and having back injuries on top must have made it more miserable for him than it was for anyone else. I feel even worse for him being here, but at the same time now I know more about what happened two days before the train trip I would not be coming back to a best friend. He'd be dead for sure if he didn't get on the train that day. That is the scariest thing that I think we can ever consider being a possibility. I would be lost without my brother by my side.

I also wasn't surprised by the severity of his injuries. His so-called father is very ruthless and unsympathetic towards all of his children. He has anger issues, but he is especially aggressive and violent with his male children. He has cut his sons before as well. Their mother is usually the one left to patch her children up afterwards and it is something she has always hated. She hated the fact that her husband decided to hate and hurt their boys, but her pleas always went unheard. She couldn't afford the fees it costs to divorce him from what I know. Luckily, she owns the house so she could get help and get him kicked out. Who wants to date or continue to be married to the person who may be sending his children to early graves? The correct answer is no one and I am sure Margo would leave if she could.

The nurse comes over and gives Danny a head to toe check-up. She told us after that he is well enough now to leave the infirmary and sit in the theory lessons we have today. She would give Rigo some pain medication to give Danny when he needs it throughout the day. Rigo brought all three of us breakfast and while we were eating the nurse talked to Rigo about what she felt like Danny was fit enough to do today. "You look a lot brighter today Danny," Dylan tells our younger friend. Danny smiles at Dylan again. "Thank you Dylan, I do actually feel better today," Danny says. I was glad my best friend feels a bit better than he was. I can't wait until we can have more fun together at camp as he continues to recover.

Now that nasty infection is leaving, and the injuries are healing he will start feeling more awake. He will have to carry on doing the thing he hates and keep resting though until he is completely better. Rigo is definitely happy that Danny is on the mend and he can look after his little brother like he promised their mother that he would do. He said that he would make sure Danny is kept safe as much as he possibly can. Now one threat has been removed (their father) that should be an easier task. We are at risk of being sent to the frontlines at any time once they have deemed that we are trained enough. "You can go to the theory-based lessons now," the nurse tells Danny, she had briefed him on what his limits are going to be for the next maybe week or two weeks while those wounds heal up nicely.

I helped Danny to his feet and waited until he got his balance back. I am probably going to be spending most of my time today keeping an eye on Danny for Rigo for the moments that they will be apart from each other. The nurse has been so nice despite only being told the little bit that she was allowed to know about what went on. She said that we could bring Danny back any time if we were worried about his health or his injuries. Danny was so happy to be up and walking around and finally able to join us in our lessons. Danny is still showing his stubborn side as he was trying to rely on me less for walking around even if he needed my help. That is just the way that he is really, he keeps on going because he is so used to doing it even when he feels like death warmed up.

I noticed that he was still smiling at me. I guess he really is happy to be out and able to join in and work more towards his own military training. I bet he will get promoted quicker than I will when we get further into training. I think it also made Dylan happy to see Danny happy and looking brighter. He has not really seen Danny this well apart from brief moments at the café when Danny has served Dylan in the past. Danny wouldn't usually be hurt this badly while he was working in the café and it wasn't because his father cared about him, it was because he was more worried about his reputation. That was another thing that disgusts me about the behaviour of Captain Murillo. Why bring children into the world if you're just going to hurt them over and over?

Anyways, we managed to make it to the lesson in time. George is about to start teaching our group the basics of one of the weapons we will be firing for most of our training and possibly when we go out on the frontlines. Danny already knows a lot about the M1917 Enfield rifle which is what we are learning about today. He also knows about the Hotchkiss M1914 machine gun which is the other weapon we will eventually learn about. A bit of revision wouldn't do Danny any harm, it will help him in case his memory was affected. George was both surprised and happy to see the three of us walk into the lesson just as he was about to start. "Glad you could make it you three," George tells us, he didn't make it an embarrassing situation which we were thankful for. There were still some seats in a good place for Danny which was a blessing.

You'd think that the USA would have a shortage on the rifles that are being used in the war, but they haven't. Which I guess is why we are using some of the M1917 Enfield rifles which have been modified to be used for drill purposes which means they would never fire again. As instructed, Danny was taking it easy during the lesson, but it was clear that he was one of the brightest students in our class. We stayed behind a few minutes after everyone else had left and the lesson ended, so it would be easier for Danny to leave without feeling rushed. There are not going to be a lot of lessons today since the main planned lessons we are supposed to have revolve around the Enfield rifle and the Hotchkiss machine gun. As far as everyone knows at the moment they are still in emergency maintenance so it will take a while.

Danny was taking his time to leave the class because I could tell the pain was starting to act up and he was getting uncomfortable with the pain levels he was in. I decide to stay close to Danny and stay by his side so he could use me as a support if he felt that he needed me. I was going to help Danny back to our billet anyway so he can get all of the bed rest he needs while he recovers from the infection in his back. I think he might take a nap with me before we have to go for lunch as we have a free lesson. We all know that we have more than an hour of free time between now and lunch time. "Are you okay Danny?" I ask him, I noticed he was struggling a bit more after he had gotten out of the chair and started walking towards the door.

When I asked the question, I saw that he had stopped walking about halfway across the training room because he was in a lot of pain by this point. "Not really, my back really hurts, and my knee hurts too," Danny tells me. I know he would have pain in his knee cause he was hit there. I had also walked a little bit further ahead of him without realising, so I walked back over to him to offer him support while we walk. I know there are wicker wheelchairs available which would help with the knee injury he has, but I feel like it would make the back injuries worse. Wicker wheelchairs are not the most comfortable things in the world. I would feel so terrible if I had to spend the day in that and have someone else push you around all day. Especially one so stubborn as Danny, he hates his current situation a lot already. Can't force him to do something he will hate.

"Alright Danny, we will try and get you back to the billet as soon as we can and get you some pain medication to make comfortable," I tell him. George was still around and was watching us carefully, I know Rigo would ask George to look after his little brother as much as he possibly could. George could probably provide more walking support for Danny since he is stronger than I am. "Hey, do you want to lean on me Danny?" George asks, Danny was quite considerably shorter than George. I think Danny would accept it because Rigo would ask him to at least let his friends look after him. He knows that we would keep our eye on him and would not be forcing him to agree to anything that would make him uncomfortable like going to the nurse if he didn't want to go unless it was absolutely necessary like yesterday when he was unconscious, and we couldn't get any response from him. He knows we are trying to help him.

He nods almost straight away to George's question which is good. I am glad that he is accepting help. George wraps his right arm under Danny's left arm and takes most of his weight which is something I just wouldn't be able to do by myself. Rigo was waiting outside of the lesson because he wanted to check on us. Rigo also helped walk back to our billet. I was walking along-side them, and he was managing to hold a conversation with me. It wasn't affecting his level of consciousness, but it was helping him by providing him with some distraction from the pain that he is currently in. I know the older two males were happy and grateful I was there to get Danny talking more to the three of us. I want him to have some distraction from the pain because I felt so bad for him that he is in the pain to begin with.

Danny flopped down on the bed the he has claimed as his the moment he was able to do so. Rigo gave him the pain medication, so that the youngest can be relieved of the god-awful pain he was in. this is the second full day of being at camp and already it has been a rollercoaster for us. I am sure that when we get more into training and Danny has recovered that it will all be fine. "I am sorry guys. I have been causing you nothing, but trouble and issues haven't I?" Danny asks me and the others that are in the room. Poor Danny, he shouldn't have to feel this way at all. This is what his father has done to him, he never used to be this way. He never felt like he was such a burden to people until recently and even I don't know what his reasons are.

"Danny, you have not been causing any of us issues or trouble I promise. If anyone has been causing issues then it is your father. He has been the one who has made your life hell and hurt you and caused all of the problems you have," George says, telling Danny what everyone else would tell him to reassure him. It proves that Danny and Rigo's father has definitely done more than just physical damage when he has abused the poor lad. I know for sure that he has been through some mental abuse while he has been at home. "I know, but everyone has to bend over backwards to accommodate me and I hate it. You should be focusing on the training and less on me," Danny says, looking down at his boots. He always does this when he says something that he knows is going to trigger a reaction from us.

"No one is bending over backwards for you Danny. We all care about you and want to look after you," Rigo tells his younger brother. This has got to hurt for Rigo to think that his brother thinks this way. Rigo is right though, we all care a lot about Danny. I hate how low Danny's opinion is of himself. He is an amazing guy and one day he will see it for himself. "You would do the same thing for us if any one of us were in your position," I tell him. Danny might finally be accepting what we are saying as the truth. I sit next to him on his bed to comfort him and he rests his head on my shoulder. "I guess you are right," he tells me. He also could be saying this to shut us up because he is quite tired right now.

I think he might take the time to have a nap before lunch since there is literally no lesson at the moment. "You can nap now you know Danny," I tell him, and I let him sit on my lap and cuddle up with me. If it comforts him then I don't mind doing it. A few minutes later he falls asleep on my lap all cuddled up like we did when we were little, and we had stayed up too late but tried in vain to hide it from my mom. Rigo smiles at us both. "One day Danny will be able to recover from all of this and feel like he can put this all behind him," Rigo says. We both know that one day they will both be free from all of the abuse forever. It will just take this war to do it I guess; I don't know what else will make their father see what he has done is wrong other than them almost dying to get that freedom from him.

Speaking of the abuse, Rigo decided to fill everyone else in on all of the abuse they have been through that he was willing to share. It was safe to say that Jordon, Matt and Dylan were shocked by this. Dylan only knew about what he saw before we left. "So, your father has beaten all of you since you were one?" Jordon asks, he was struggling to believe it. I was the exact same until one day I saw it for myself. "Yeah, the only child he has never hurt is our sister," Rigo says. I always thought that was odd that he left her out. Now I think it was for the best that she was left out, Margo needs someone to take care of her. Danny was still sleeping in my arms. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps anywhere even if it was not in my arms which is good. He needs a decent rest without having a nightmare about his abuse.

"Maybe he was trying to beat you into shape?" Matt suggests. It was a pretty stupid suggestion, but it is something we have not considered when we try and look for reasons as to why he does it. "Possibly, we have managed to just about please him before, but he has never said that he has ever been proud of us before," Rigo says. I know Danny has said his father has never said anything to them that might even resemble praise. "Wait, so he has never said I am proud of you?" Dylan asks Rigo since Danny is still sleeping. Rigo shakes his head. "Never, not even when Kyle and I have been promoted or when Danny managed to get his café job and promotions," Rigo tells them. It makes me hate their father just a little more than I did before. My own father was rarely around and yet he still praises me.

"Your father would hate you getting promoted in the army because he would see it as a threat to his position. He wouldn't want to be taking orders from his own children," I tell him. Maybe that is why he hits his sons; he feels threatened by his own sons and them becoming more powerful than he is. "That makes sense Jay, both Kyle and I are getting closer to being the same rank he is. Danny will get there one day, but he also has a stable job back home and people there that care about him so he shouldn't throw that away to one up father," Rigo says. We both know Jake, who is Danny's boss outside of the army world and who helped Danny after his last beating. He could have easily called the cops on Captain Murillo, but he chose not too which would have made things harder for Danny.

"Yeah, Jake could have handed Captain Murillo in, but he didn't. Captain Murillo will pay eventually," I say. One day Rigo, Kyle and Danny's father will be arrested and charged for his crimes and hopefully rot in hell. "That is true, but one day someone is not going to be afraid and he will be arrested," Rigo says. We are going to have to wake Danny up soon so we can all get to lunch on time. "Yeah, he won't get away with it forever," I tell him. We talked for a little while longer before it is time to wake Danny up. It took a few minutes for him to wake up and I am sure he wished he wasn't awake right now. When he was fully awake though he smiled at me and he looked like he was feeling a whole lot better.

"We are going for lunch now Danny," I tell him. He gets off me and sits on his own and nods. Then he stretches. I was glad that he had such a good rest and that he is settling in as well as I am to army life. "Okay Jorel," he tells me. He was very aware of the others staring at him, but not why and the fact that the others know a lot more about the abuse now than he thought they did. He'll know when he is feeling more awake. Rigo would not keep something like that from his brother. Especially when it is something so important as all of your friends knowing about what a monster your father is to you and your siblings. Danny snuggles with me while he wakes up which is normal when he has had a good rest.

Rigo was grinning at his brother's progress even though we both knew what was coming in the next few minutes. I think Danny will take the new okay, he knows it is bound to happen eventually. It must be easier to get it out of the way and see how supportive our friends are now instead of waiting like six months. That way it saves any potential loss of friendship when he might need it more later on down the line. Not that I don't trust these men with my life and think they will stand by Danny until they all breathe their last breaths. It's just hard to guess what someone thinks about something so serious. It seems like the guys are supportive this far though as no one has left the billet or requested to move billet which is good.

"Hey Danny, I told the others about what happened at home. I'm sorry I didn't ask you first," Rigo says, I could see how nervous he was. Danny hugs Rigo tightly, worried that his older brother was about to leave and would have left him while he was sleeping. "That's okay Rigo, they would have found out eventually," Danny tells him. He is still scared of their father coming back to hurt him. Jordon and Dylan hug Danny when they get up. Danny was more confident walking to the mess hall this time which was good. He even told me that he felt better than he did when we left the theory lessons we had this morning. We still made him sit down and George was getting him the food because we don't want to push him too far. Danny might finally start putting on weight with all the extra trays of food he has been getting.

It's on the nurse's orders after all, so no one can complain. She was worried when she weighed him this morning. He weighs a lot less than he should. "Did the nurse speak to you about weight?" George asks both Rigo and Danny. The nurse would have asked Danny about his eating habits. "Yeah she said I need to eat more to get back to a healthier weight," Danny says. We all knew that Danny is not at a healthy weight right now. "So that means extra meals and snacks until you are back to a healthy weight," George tells him. Danny can't refuse now. He has to eat the extra portions he is given because the nurse will be checking up on him to make sure that he is gaining weight. He is going to be weighed a lot during the next few weeks, so that means there is no way he can get away with not doing as he is told.

"Yeah I guess so," Danny replies, I knew he was not happy with it at all. He hates people making any sort of fuss over him, that is a fact about him that has not changed from when we were younger. "Don't worry about it little brother. It will only be while you gain weight, it is not going to last forever," Rigo says, to try and reassure his brother. Rigo knew as well as I did that his brother was not happy with this. Danny still ate the portions he was given though. I hope he realises that this will benefit him in the long run. We have one practical session today; they have changed our schedules around a little bit to see what works best. Danny will have to miss that lesson though. The nurse said he would be able to do physical training in at least two weeks if he continues to heal well. They don't think it will take much longer than two weeks for him to heal from the infection he currently has.

"So, the action plan for this afternoon is to have the two theory lessons and then for Rigo and Danny to go back to the billet to chill for the last lesson," George says. That sounds like a good plan to me, not that there is any back up plan. Danny has probably only just got enough energy from the rest to go to the two lessons then he can nap before dinner. "That's good, I hope I can do physical training soon," Danny says. He wasn't aware of the news then. "In two weeks, it should be okay to start getting back into it," Rigo tells his brother. It has to be a slow start in case he undoes all his progress. I was tired myself and Danny seems to be still tired as he leaned against me. He was really excited to have a countable date to work towards now though.

He knows that he can't get too excited because it is not one hundred percent definite yet. Everything could change between today and the same day in two weeks' time. For Danny's sake I hope he feels a whole lot better and is on his way to being fully recovered by then. This has been a tough one for sure. Even I don't remember him being like this for this long. It has been a rough few days. It was probably made worse by the train ride over here to be honest. I would not have said Danny was fit to leave home, but at the same time he might not even be alive right now if he had not have left when he did. I hate how difficult that is. I feel like luck has been on our side with the excellent nurse and the amazing friends we have made.

2 hours later ~ Private Danny Murillo's point of view

I am enjoying the freedom I am getting while being here. I do miss my mother and sister a lot, but I needed to escape from my father, and they know that. We are currently in the middle of a theory lesson and I was learning a lot from it. The lessons we had this morning were more like revision sessions for me since I knew a lot of it already. Now we are learning about teamwork and other technical aspects of army life we need to learn. Jorel and I are already good at working together which will help us out if the keep us together. I think Jordon, Matt and Dylan will help make us a good little team or squad. The instructor put us all into a groups to build a crossing for a trench to prepare us for when we might go to the frontlines. They might even use me as a rescue dummy because they know about how much I know about first aid already. I know all that they are teaching us today.

"I want to help," I tell Jorel. I didn't want to be left behind on the side lines. The instructor does want to see all of us working together as a full team. None of this one person does all the hard work. One of the first things we were told is that we would get nowhere if we could not work in a team. The instructor was very impressed with our efforts. "Don't push yourself too much Murillo," the instructor tells me. He was being very kind about it all. I knew that all of the instructors know about my injures just not how I got them. I knew Jorel and Dylan would be making sure that I am kept from pushing myself past my limit. I was still able to participate in the task and helping the guys solving the puzzle we had been given.

I enjoyed problem solving and Jorel did too. We worked together with the others a lot better than I was expecting for it to go for my first group task as a private in the army. I was getting a little tired now, but I was going to stay awake while we have another theory lesson after this one ends. I was going to have a nap when the others have their next physical training session after the theory lessons are over for the day. I can't wait to be able to do physical training in a couple of weeks' time. I just need the infection to go and the cuts on my back to heal first and then slowly get into the physical training. It is all so that I don't push myself too far and send myself back to square one. I was going doing to be allowed to do much for a while anyway because that will be monitored the whole time we are doing it.

We did the task successfully and we are going to have a little break before we move on to some very light and basic first aid training. They have decided to let me be the demonstration dummy as long as people are gentle, and I don't mind. I can change my mind at any time. The lesson itself went really well. For me it was good to go over the basics again and everyone was being gentle with me which I appreciated. Jorel sat with me after the lesson ended. "So, we are only missing your sister to complete the Murillo sibling squad group," the instructor jokes. I know girls aren't really allowed in the army right now, maybe one day they will be. "Yeah she told me she wants to be a nurse so she might join one day," I tell him. It feels weird to have instructors who have taught both my brothers before they taught me.

Now it's time to go back to the billet and rest some more before it is dinner time. It is also some more one on one time with my brother Rigo which I am excited for. That is one good side to me being prevented from doing physical training. I am allowed in the billet on my own, but Rigo said he has nothing better to do while he has free time so he might as well use it to spend some rare time with me. When I am able to do more with training the time I get to spend privately with him will be quite dramatically reduced because he will be busy training the new and current recruits as they go through the ranks and distributed to where they are needed and I will be learning and going through the ranks as quickly as I am able to.

Rigo met Jorel and I outside of the billet. I can mostly walk by myself now unassisted, but it is nice to have them watch out for me. Rigo is also making sure I get to him in one piece and Jorel gets to go to his lesson on time. "Did you enjoy your first lessons?" Rigo asks me as we get into the billet. I am definitely feeling super tired now though. "Yeah, it was good to learn new things as well as get some revision done," I tell him. I think now it is day four of my freedom. Rigo seems to be warming up to the idea of me being here now. "Yeah, I am glad you feel okay here Danny. I was honestly so nervous about you being here and possibly thrown into a world war, but I feel more comfortable now," Rigo says. I knew he would feel this way at first and then change his mind later on. I hug him tightly.

We walk over to my bed and I flop down onto it. Rigo sits next to me and rubs my hair. "I am so glad I am with you. Don't get me wrong I miss mother and sister, but the atmosphere is so much nicer here," I tell him. I look at him and he smiles at me. I see a nap in the not so distant future for me. "At first, I thought it would have been so much better if you were back at home with mother and sister. Then I found out from mother what father did to you, so now I prefer it that you are here, and I can keep you safe," Rigo tells me. I wonder what father thinks has happened to me. I hope for my mother and sister's sake that he thinks I am dead right now. "Yeah if father wasn't the way he is then maybe I would still be at home," I tell him.

"True, unfortunately we will never know what life would be like without an abusive father. I don't think he is ever going to change," he tells me. Rigo is right, we are never going to know what a normal childhood was like since we are now adults and all we have ever known is that we will be hurt no matter what we have done. "Yeah maybe after the war he might change. To be honest I am just dreaming of having a normal family where I don't have the my father is abusive secret hanging over me," I tell him. It is wishful thinking that our father will ever be nice to his male children or super nice to his only daughter. "That's all everyone wants. Maybe mother might want a divorce and we can have a nice dad for the rest of our adult lives," Rigo said. I am not completely opposed to having a stepfather even now I am an adult.

It would be amazing to have complete home freedom from father, but at the same time I do not want to force mother into making quite a difficult decision like that. She did love him at some point, she might even still love him now. We want her to be happy and make choices for her own happiness and wellbeing. Not because her four children hate the man that helped create them and they want nothing more to do with him. "Maybe Rigo. I want mother to make the choice though. Whatever is best for her," I tell him, and he smiles at me. I think he'd feel the same way to be honest. "Yeah definitely, I feel bad for being here too, but I know she is proud of us and she knows we are somewhat safer here than staying at home," he tells us.

I yawn after a while because I am still tired and Rigo coos at me. It makes me so tempted to push him off the bed. "Somebody is tired," Rigo teases and I shove him. He laughs and pushes me as gently as he possibly could. "I might take a nap before we have to go to dinner. I seem to be napping a little more especially before a mealtime at the moment," I tell him. It is true I napped before lunch time today and I seem to be needing to nap now as well. It might happen daily while I recover from my injuries, no one knows for sure at this point. I have not really experienced something so intense like army training after a beating quite so severe as this. Café work was not too bad as it was something light and the team was understanding when I needed a break.

"You will be feeling more tired than normal, you are fighting off an infection while you recover from a major beating. You are also doing a lot more work that is physically more demanding than your café job. Once you have healed then you'll be okay and less tired," Rigo tells me and I nod. This is the weirdest time I have had since my first full on beating when I was five. I yawn again and Rigo covers me with a blanket. I am not going to fall asleep now, I am going to stay awake until after dinner. The guys have one half hour session of physical training after dinner and we have to be in top form when we are fighting in the war. We know that at some point we will be fighting in the war whether we want to or not.

"You can sleep as much as you need to Danny. They will understand why. I think we could even have dinner in here, but I'd have to check with some people first," Rigo tells me. We had dinner in the billet on our first night here. The lull of sleep is almost too good to resist, and I close my eyes for a moment. "Shh, Danny might be sleeping," I hear Jorel tell someone else. I think I did actually manage to fall asleep for a little while because it seems now that the lesson has ended. I open my eyes and smile at Rigo who was still keeping a close eye on me. "Hey Danny, how are you feeling?" Jorel asks me, and I give him a thumbs up. "I am alright Jay, just tired and I think the antibiotics are getting to work now," I tell him.

"That's good Danny, you will be back to your usual self in no time," he tells me. I know he will be right about this as usual. Surprisingly considering how badly I have been doing during my recovery this is not actually the worst beating I have ever had in my life. When I was a lot younger there was a worse one and I nearly died. I think it is definitely almost dinner time now as the rest of the guys have arrived. "Sorry if I woke you up Danny," Jordon tells me. I smile at him; he is so nice and considerate to others. "You didn't wake me up. I kinda woke up myself about a minute or so before you arrived," I tell him. He gives me a gentle hug and I sit up properly to hug him back. We are going to walk towards the mess hall, can't have our dinner in the billet this time. They were nice and gave the others lunch in the nurse tent yesterday.

I will be okay walking on my own since my back isn't bothering me that much right now. "Dinner time boys," George tells us. Jorel still lets me be the last one to leave so I can take my time with walking, so I don't overdo it and I don't hold the others up. "You good to walk Danny?" he asks me. I nod and he carefully pulls me to my feet. I show him that I am able to walk unaided, and we walk together to the mess hall. "How are you enjoying army life so far?" I ask him. I am definitely enjoying my time in the army despite the minor mishaps that have happened. He knows that I am happy. "Yeah, it is good. I am glad that you seem happier now that you are away from him," Jorel tells me and I smile. I love having people who actually care about me like I care for them. I care so much about my friends and it is nice to see them care back.

I enjoy these conversations with my friends like this. It is nice to be able to have deep conversations in a place as serious as the army. You'd think that there'd be more officers patrolling around here and telling us to shush but there isn't. Everyone has gone for food apart from two officers to make sure each recruit gets to the right place until they know the routine off by heart. Even those guys let us talk about whatever we want to within reason. Obviously we avoid talking about the war and anything that could potentially get us into trouble. Jorel and I are pretty good at knowing what subjects we can or can't talk about. We know we are not trouble twins just, yet we need to settle in and figure out what we can get away with first.

Not that I am in any fit state right now to do anything prank wise. I am also being watched by more officers than I usually would if I was healthy. That means I can't even attempt anything because they would be doing their best to keep me safe and prevent any incidents like my fainting episode on the train. Jorel was making sure that I took my time and I was going to not overdo it if I was not going to fall over any time soon. I have been feeling dizzy a couple of times yesterday and when I first got out of bed this morning. The nurses tent didn't exactly have a comfortable bed and I was on my back not curled up like I usually am when I fall asleep. Especially since I have the wounds on my back, so putting pressure on it hurts.

Speaking of feeling dizzy, I got a little dizzy just after the little bump in the ground as we walked. I am okay though. "I am very much enjoying army life. I am happier here for sure," I tell him. He knows things that went on back home that I haven't even told Rigo yet. I confided a lot in Jorel when my older brothers were away. "Yeah, I love the happy Danny. If only your dad could leave you and your brothers alone," Jorel tells me. That would literally be a dream come true. I am more confident in walking on my own as we arrive at the mess hall. "Glad to see you up and walking," one of my brother's friends tells me. I thank him and make it to the table where the others are. There are two stacked trays where I am going to sit.

My current treatment plan includes extra meals so that I can put weight on which will help with my energy levels as well as my recovery from my last beating. "I know you don't feel comfortable with the extra meal, but I promise it will help you," George tells me, and I smile at him. Someone higher up will have agreed with the nurse and put an order in top make sure I have extra meals until the nurse clears me and I am the weight she would be satisfied with. "I know, it's just a lot to get used to though," I tell him. Matt smiles at me, I still know him the least out of everyone. Then again, he is so like me personality wise. He's warming up to everyone slowly, it is not just me. I also see myself being like him and I am struggling to open up to Dylan, Matt and Jordon. I've never had this many friends before.

"Matt, do you want to have a drawing done tonight?" I ask him. It was going to be a good way for us to get to know each other a little more. "Yeah, if it doesn't bother you that much. Like I don't want you to overdo it," he replies. I smile back at him and then take a spoonful of milk biscuit pudding. Considering we were all be trained to eat on rationed food, this is the nicest thing I have had. Possibly the nicest thing I have ever eaten. "It won't bother me Matt. I think that it will be a nice way to relax after a long day of training and working hard," I tell him, and he smiles. "Dan, quick question. How on earth can you eat that?" Dylan asks me. I don't think he likes the pudding as much as everyone else. "It is nice, I have had a lot worse meals before now. You learn to deal with what life gives you," I tell him.

I was basically admitting to them that mine and Rigo's father has starved us, so we ate anything we were given. I was getting full on my second serving of the pudding, so I hope he doesn't decide to offer me his. I definitely would not be able to eat it. I can barely eat what I have right now in front of me. "You need to suck it up and eat it Dylan. You need all the energy you can get, and all of our meals have been made with the calorie content to be high enough to keep you going. You don't want to end up in the infirmary," George tells him, which is true, you need to eat and drink plenty throughout the day especially when you are doing a lot of physical effort. I chuckled as Dylan pulled a face but carried on eating the milk biscuit pudding anyway. "See it is not so bad Dylan" Rigo tells him and I laughed at Dylan's reaction to the comment.

I love seeing different peoples reactions to the food that we are given. I was essentially raised on army rations growing up, so I am used to it by now. Jorel has had some too when he has stayed at my house when he has had a disagreement at home. He was essentially raising us as if we were an army of our own. Even thought we all did not have desires to be in the army ourselves at first. Then we realised that it would be better if we went off and joined the army where we would be away from the man who introduced us to the life. It is weird how it all turned out but at least we are all safe here and we don't have to be worried about being hurt anymore. At least not from father, he can't hurt us, but the enemy could.

"Danny's right, this is one of the best meals I have had," Jordon says, when you come from a low-income background some of the meals they have are unlike anything they have ever eaten in their lives. We wold eat rations at home because our father would keep a lot of the money for herself and would only give our mother the money that we would need for the week. "Fair enough, I guess my upbringing has a lot to do with it," Dylan tells us. His parents are quite wealthy, so he is going to be just to all the expensive foods. "That could be behind it. Then again milk biscuit pudding is not really a common thing even to someone who is on a low income," I tell him. It is more of a thing now because of the war. We were starting to serve it in the café before we closed.

I manage to walk with the guys back to our billet. Matt sits on the bed next to me. I am still going to draw him so that he can have something to send back his family like the rest of our group will. We can't really send them photographs yet, so this is the next best thing. Cameras are incredibly expensive. I look at Matt and quickly work out what position I am going to draw him in. I grab my paper and the pencil I sued when I was drawing the other portraits. "I just need to sit still right Dan?" he asks me. I had already started the rough outline of his shoulders. "Yeah and you can talk until I am working on your lips really. I enjoy doing these portraits and I have a lot back home," I tell him. I was getting really good at drawing them and letting them move around and talk while I work on the finer details.

"Oh, that's good Danny. I am sorry if I have been rude to you since we first met. I have problems trusting people at first. I do trust you though one hundred percent," he tells me. I figured that trust problems would be a thing that affects a lot of people. I am not the only one it seems. "That is fair enough Matt, I understand why you would trust people less at first. I get the same way when I am meeting someone for the first time," I tell him, being honest with him. I am going to put as much detail into his outfit as possible while I am focusing on it. Since I am not focusing on his face Rigo uses it as the prefect opportunity to show Matt the drawings I have done so far of George, himself and me. "Wow Danny, these are incredibly good," Matt tells me.

An hour and a half later (roughly, there is no way of telling the time here) I was done with the entire drawing. I show matt while the others are getting ready for the night. "Oh my god, Danny this is amazing. Thank you," he tells me. I smile at him. I really enjoy and like making people feel good. I hug him carefully and he hugs me back. "You're welcome Matt. I am glad you like it," I tell him. Then it is our turn to get ready for bed. Jorel hugs me tightly, still affected by the events of yesterday. I thought that there was gonna be more issues for me and sleeping and being separated from people. "Danny can I stay with you tonight?" Jorel asks me, talking very quietly to not get too embarrassed in case people were listening in.

"Of course, you can Jay. I don't mind hugging you all night," I tell him. We walk over to my bed when I am all ready for sleep. My boots have a good layer of polish on them which I will take off before morning parade/announcements. I have settled into the schedule quite well already even though it is the third night. I get into bed first and snuggle up to Jorel when he gets in. He falls asleep before me, which was weird, but I enjoyed seeing my brother looking peaceful for once. The emergency yesterday definitely scared him a lot. I manage to fall asleep after him in barely anytime which is good.

And that is the end of chapter 5 I hope you enjoyed. See you next time.

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