Chapter 4 Avenger angel
It was a rather rambunctious morning and the boisterous laughter coming from downstairs was what got her out of bed. It wasn't like Aoko had slept a wink anyway but solitude was a nice way to spend some time. Since it was high time to get up and attend her university courses anyway, the girl decided to face the music and get it over with. Maybe those guys have calmed down, maybe they weren't as judging anymore. Well, maybe not. Still, it wasn't like she had a choice and unless she wanted to leave through her window, which she totally could and would, she'd have to face them anyway.
"Look who finally got up. So, who are you gonna kick today?"
It was the Suzuki girl who almost immediately upon seeing her had to verbally attack her. It wasn't like Aoko blamed her or anything. The Suzuki girl hated this probably much more than she herself and if the other option hasn't been a prison cell, she certainly wouldn't have agreed to these conditions. But things were as they were and Aoko didn't feel like fighting that girl.
She was no monster even though she was sure that's what people associated her with.
It must have been the same with these people, though, only seeing the bad things she'd done, not that they knew what she'd done but – sighing, Aoko decided not to care. They wouldn't understand anyway, not that she wanted them to understand or anything.
"Stop it, Sonoko," Shinichi said gruffly and turned his head to watch Aoko. "Come sit down and have breakfast with us, Nakamori-san."
He looked genuine enough and Aoko felt inclined to do just that, even if just to spite that hideous girl but it was too early in the morning and she was too tired to put up with these people who openly showed what they'd thought about her joining them at the breakfast table. She wasn't scared and she never left out even one fight but she had to live with these people for who knew how long and maybe, even for just her own sanity, retreat was the better option right now.
"Nah, thanks for the invitation but I-"
"No, let me rephrase that, Nakamori-san. Breakfast is the only time we spend regularly together and since you're living here now, that applies to you, too. Sit down and have breakfast with us."
Maybe she would have joined them but she wasn't really hungry and she didn't feel like taking all the shit the Suzuki girl would doubtlessly throw her way. And since that girl was physically weak, Aoko couldn't simply fight her, either. She'd have to shut her mouth some other way and Kudo might disapprove of that so really, Aoko didn't feel one bit like joining them.
Openly showing her displeasure with Kudo's order, because honestly, it was just that, wasn't it? He didn't simply ask her to join them, he ordered her to and Aoko really didn't answer well to orders. Maybe before, she wouldn't have taken it as an order and happily joined them, but before, even more than now, she would have minded the stares and the nasty words and really, what was there for her to gain from this? This was a losing battle for her. Also, she had classes to attend. Kudo could stick that dumb order down his tight ass is what he could do.
But, and maybe it was to everyone's blessing, Kudo's phone rang and Aoko wasn't even surprised anymore that it was another case, another dead person waiting for them to find the murderer and bring a little more justice to this world. Only there was no justice. Just because the murderer was found, didn't mean the dead person would wake up again, start living again. Unfortunately, death was irrevocable and unless it was an eye for an eye, Aoko didn't believe in justice anymore. And even the eye for an eye only brought more pain, more blood and not one bit of the justice she once so strongly believed in.
And yet – in the end, she herself would go for the eye for an eye.
The crime scene was a mess when they arrived only 15 minutes later and she honestly could have done without Hattori but damned be Kudo for allowing that Osakan moron to tag along. Ah well, this were Kudo's rules and terms and conditions. She'd just ignore the detective of the west, act as if he didn't exist and then maybe he wouldn't bother with her either – why she was so bothered in the first place, she didn't know.
Aoko followed the two detectives, followed the blood path from the hall to the blood bathed room and felt like puking when she saw the remnants of what used to be a – girl, Aoko assumed but couldn't be too sure. Raising her hand to her mouth to stop the gagging reflex, she turned around and tried to breathe. Bad idea though since the air was filled with blood and gore and death and –
"Nakamori-san. Get out, talk to the witnesses … or wait in the car, here are the keys."
She felt Kudo's hand on her shoulder and heard his exasperated words but she was sure he was as shaken as her only his stomach must be more used to these kinds of crime scenes because he must have seen many more – not that probably even he himself would ever get used to the sight.
She braced her arm on the wall in front of her to steady herself and tried to breathe without smelling the mess behind her but it was harder than she imagined and maybe if she got it over with faster she could leave the room altogether.
"Nakamori-san." Kudo sounded a tad bit worried and maybe he regretted having taken her along, maybe she did too.
Aoko shook her head and straightened herself again. "I'm fine" she mouthed through gritted teeth.
"Oi, if ya'r unable ta stomach tha scene, ya should just leave, aho."
Well, if that wasn't incentive enough for Aoko to get it over with, she didn't know what was. Never would she give Hattori the satisfaction of being right and knowing something better than her – even if he was right and she wished nothing else than to be out of this room.
"Damn it, Hattori, stop this."
The two of them started arguing about her but Aoko shut their voices out of her mind, grabbed a rubber glove from Hattori, ignored his pointed oi and only stopped walking when she was in front of what was left of the girl's head. Aoko swallowed her stomach's contents which wanted to get back out so bad, not that there was much inside anyway.
Squatting down, Aoko touched a blood covered piece of the girl's head and tried to ignore how it was probably the girls brain she was able to touch and oh my god – but then darkness surrounded her, terror filling her, chilling her to her bones and she stilled.
No a voice screamed in her head which wasn't her own, feeling cold terror. She felt her hair sticking to the front of her face, wet – from blood? She saw blurry faces, felt her bones break, screams, laughter, brightness and then darkness, pain, tears and pain, pain, pain. And then there was a smile, a grin, a sadistic person with teeth as white as snow, filling her with never before felt terror. Chilling her, freezing and then there was the desperate want to live, survive. She wanted to live because there was so much she still wanted to do with her life but she saw the hammer, saw the hand with the tattoo on it, saw the hammer and couldn't breathe, she couldn't breathe, she felt such bad terror and then the pain erupted and stopped.
Aoko jolted upwards, jumping to her feet, turning around in a flash, pushing the two detectives out of her way, and ran out of the room. Her stomach was in an upheaval and before she could stop it she was gagging on nothing but her own spit.
"Dammit, Kudo. Why did ya bring that aho along again?"
Brining Aoko along was simply because of his own selfish wish to keep her away from Ran and the rest – from trouble if you might. He wasn't worried that she might hurt Ran or even Sonoko, though he couldn't completely rule that out, either. For now, he couldn't trust that girl and having her with him at all times was his best bet.
"With Sonoko being herself it's better if Nakamori is out of her reach."
Heiji groaned and Kudo looked after the distressed, retching girl. "And what tha fuck was she doin touching tha corpse like that?"
Kudo grimaced and then turned around. "Don't worry about that."
Maybe brining her along wasn't his best idea – or maybe he should have made sure with Megure that the crime scene wasn't as brutal but when was a crime scene ever not brutal?
Sighing again, he pinched his nose in distress. He needed to finish a job before he took care of Nakamori. Though, he had to admit that focusing felt kind of hard after he watched her reaction. It was so different from last time when she just stood up, a blank face and no emotions. This time, he could see the pain in her face, the pain, if what she told him was true, was the victim's pain and – turning towards the dead girl – he could only imagine what kind of pain she must have felt.
The 17-year-old girl, Yamada Miyako, had been kidnapped two months ago, with no chance of finding her alive. They found her now but now was too late and Kudo bit his tongue in bitterness. If they had just found her even a day sooner – closing his eyes, Kudo swallowed those thoughts. They were distracting him from focusing on the important things. If he found her kidnapper – her killer – he couldn't bring her back but at least then that person wouldn't get away with it. He would bring justice, even if it was seemingly nothing compared to the irrevocably lost life.
From the looks of the room, the chains on the wall, the bowls on the floor, she must have been kept in this room – treated like an animal – until she found her untimely end.
The inhabitant was in another room, being interrogated by the police – it wasn't that person who called the police but the neighbors who heard a terrifying scream with following bangs who alarmed the police. Apparently, they had heard screams now and then but never reported it – Kudo wondered why. If they had just told the police a day sooner –
Sighing again, the detective inspected the room but couldn't find anything which might get him further. Maybe it was high time to check up on Nakamori. She might have seen some clues.
"I'll check up on Nakamori, go help with the interrogation," he instructed Hattori who glared at him.
"It's yar own damn fault for bringin her her' and wastin yar time on her. Aho."
Shinichi rolled his eyes in annoyance and left Hattori to look for the shaken girl. Sure, somewhere she was a hindrance but now she was there and he was responsible for her.
Aoko didn't know where she was going but she stopped once cold air embraced her burning skin, supplying her with air – but air wasn't arriving in her lungs like she wanted.
Darkness was still gripping her, embracing her in that suffocating, burning hug she couldn't run away from. Flashbacks to a night she couldn't go back to, a tragic moment she couldn't turn back anymore, death, death, death gripping her hard in its clutches and never letting go. Ever since that incident five years ago, death never let go of her. it had its claws around her, cutting the air around her so that she was suffocating, all the time suffocating, plagued by guilt and sorrow for being too late. For running after a dead phantom when there had been a very real living person waiting for her, needing her.
Shuddering and desperately trying to breathe, Aoko firmly shut her eyes closed – trying to run away from those plaguing thoughts. But to no avail.
It was there.
She was back in the alley. Drenched to the bone, out of breath. She tried to breathe but didn't know how.
It was dark again and she was all alone again. Alone with the only person she couldn't bear to lose anymore.
She was back there in the alley, shaking the girl, shaking, screaming, telling her to get up, trying to stop the bleeding. All the blood, there was so much blood, it was so cold, so cold, she was so cold.
Screaming, someone was screaming, her chest felt on fire, her lungs burned because she couldn't breathe.
This is not real. Her mind whispered. This is not real. Snap out of it.
It hurt, it hurt, it hurt so much. She was back in that alley, five years ago. She was again the small girl she'd been back then. The small fragile girl who'd lost everything.
"Nakamori!"
A voice and then shaking.
Blood, there was blood all around. There was blood, bloodbloodblood. It was all red, and wet, and cold.
"Oi, Nakamori! Snap out of it!"
Aoko ripped her eyes open, clutching at her chest, gulping for air which wasn't entering her system.
"Oi, calm down. You're hyperventilating. Calm down. Look at me, Nakamori-san. Look at me."
There were words she registered, there was this voice, this persistent annoying voice she couldn't shut out and then her face was turned one way and there was a face in front of her.
Slowly coming back to her senses, Aoko tried fumbling for her shot. It was bright outside, sunny, barely midday. She was at a crime scene and even though there was a dead body somewhere behind her, it wasn't that person. She was back five years in the future. She wasn't drenched and while she still had the blood-soaked glove on, there was no more blood.
"Nakamori-san."
His persistent voice brought her back but Aoko couldn't talk to him, she couldn't look at him. She needed her shot, she needed the shot, she-
Luckily, Kudo wasn't as fast as her, maybe simply because he wasn't prepared for her actions and before he could interfere, she rammed the needle in her thigh.
"Oi, w-what the fuck are you doing, Nakamori?!" he spluttered in surprise, grabbing the syringe and yanking it out of her leg. "Are you doing drugs?!"
Leaning against the wall, Aoko gulped for air – he'd taken her medicine but she had been fast enough to get out enough to calm her again. Finally, finally she was able to breathe again. Still shaking, she sank in on her, not caring at all that Kudo was right beside her, seeing her in her weakest state. He probably thought she was a damn addict anyway, it's not like anyone ever looked behind the curtains, tried to see how the actress was doing off stage. No one ever tried to find the truth when she was concerned, so it wasn't like she expected him to be the first or anything. He was just like all of them.
Suddenly her face was yanked upwards, turning towards an angry looking detective. But his face softened just a tiny bit when he watched her for a tiny moment. She wondered what he saw – or maybe not. Not that she cared anyway.
Chest heaving in a futile attempt to get all the oxygen she had not given her body, she watched him tiredly.
After a while he let her go and Aoko sank against the wall again, closing her eyes. Her shudders weakened and she'd be back to her usual self soon.
Surprisingly, Kudo sat down next to her and leaned against the wall, giving her space and time to – well, Aoko didn't know. Why was he trying to be considerate or did he have another incentive altogether? Aoko didn't know and didn't feel like finding out.
The birds were chirping, and the cars were driving around, bathing the world in noise. The wind was blowing softly, blowing through her hair warmed by the sun. All the thoughts of being back there, back in the dark, cold alley went back to the back of her mind, retreating but never leaving and never staying away for too long. They'd come back soon, hunting and haunting her until the day she died – or who knows, maybe even longer. Maybe those memories would haunt her forever. God knows she deserved that.
"Are you feeling better, Nakamori-san?"
His voice sounded genuine enough, no anger and no bitterness, at least she couldn't detect anything like that underlying in his tone. Worry, maybe there was a bit worry but she could be wrong. Why would he even worry about her?
"The murderer is left-handed and has a tattoo at the back of his hand. It's black but I couldn't well recognize the motive. But I guess it doesn't matter. There shouldn't be too many people around here with tattoos on their hands. He hit her with a hammer. And there had been others. Before. But I couldn't recognize any even if I wanted to."
"Did you see it?"
Aoko nodded and swallowed hard. She didn't want to go back to that place even if that weren't her memories, her pain and her despair. But it was similar to what she experienced, the same kind of hopelessness, despair and terror filling her body, chilling her to the core. The girl hadn't wanted to die. She had wanted to live, she had wanted to do so many things and there had been hope that someone might save her or she might be released – even if her chances might have been slim, she still had hoped. Maybe that was the worst feeling. The realization that that hope was gone, there he was a moment away to take the life and no one would come and save her. It was over.
"She didn't want to die. But she must have told him something which aggravated him enough to get the weapon and kill her. She'd been hoping all along for someone to come and save her. When she saw him holding the weapon she knew she'd die. She felt terror, she-"
"It's alright. Just, don't think about it, alright?"
He squeezed her shoulder in reassurance and nodded. "I'll go wrap up the case. Stay here or go back to the car."
Aoko nodded and with that he left.
"Nakamori Aoko. How do you feel?"
Aoko sighed. There she was, visiting yet another useless psychologist who wouldn't be able to help her.
She leaned back in the cozy sofa, at least she was sitting on a warm and cozy sofa, in a warm and dry room where probably no one wanted to hurt her – but she wasn't too sure about the last part. Usually, people wanted nothing else but hurt her, attack her, kill her. There was Kaito who maybe didn't want to hurt her but then again, she didn't know what he wanted. She couldn't trust him, either.
"Alright, then, let me introduce myself properly."
Aoko sighed inertly and closed her eyes. She didn't care what Kudo wanted or what this woman had to tell her. Whoever she was, Aoko didn't care.
Kudo had amazingly finished the case quite quickly. A mother and her son were living in that apartment and that son killed the young woman. He had been a violent boy for all his life, committing crime after crime but only now he reverted to murder – because it was thrilling. All of them were quite happy he didn't turn into a serial killer – he had all he needed for that.
His mother knew about the girl, had been brining her food and water but she did what her son told her and so both would spend their time in prison. She didn't want to know the rest, the why's and how's, she just wanted to forget, forget the go-
"My name's Vineyard Sharon. I'm a former member of a deadly organization. Honestly, I don't see what silver bullet tries to achieve with this."
Vermouth, huh.
Well, that brought her back quite fast. Vermouth had been part of that wretched Black Organization. They'd been taken down two years ago.
Raising a brow, Aoko looked up. "Oh really. And they'd let a murderer walk around like that? Yeah sure."
The woman smirked knowingly. "I don't care if you believe me or not. Let's just say I helped with taking down the organization and we stroke a deal. But you should know how that works, don't you?"
Yeah, strike deals with murderers. Well done Japanese police. You couldn't have sunk any lower.
So much for justice. Striking deals with criminals, murderers – for Aoko there was nothing worse. In the end though, she was the same, wasn't she? She should have been in prison too but the justice gave her yet another chance, yet another possibility to kill and hurt and take. They should stop striking deals with criminals. They should stop. It was wrong.
Pinching her nose – and what was the purpose of this anyway? Why did Kudo want her to talk to this woman who he had introduced as an expert psychologist. One heck of a psychologist this woman was who right away told her the truth. And Kudo's lie.
Aoko should be angry, Kudo shouldn't have lied to her but then again, she didn't care. So he lied – it wasn't like people told her the truth anyway. This woman too, she could be lying, telling her more lies and she'd never be the wiser.
But she remembered Vermouth from the pictures and could tell that this tall, blond, pretty woman was in fact Vineyard Chris – Vermouth.
Unless this was Kaito or his mother with their endless skill of pulling her leg.
"How about we just talk? Or we could just sit out the time we are required to sit here. Unfortunately, Silver bullet is waiting outside so leaving earlier won't work."
That's right. After Kudo had wrapped up the case, he had Hattori picked up by his girlfriend and then drove her here. He had tried explaining again why this was necessary and good for her, how she might be finally able to let go and heal though it wasn't like there was something to let go. She had let go of her life a long time ago and yet, here she still was.
"Fine then, let's spend the rest of the time in silence, avenger angel."
Avenger angel, huh? Avenger, yes, maybe. Angel? Hardly.
What that woman was thinking was beyond Aoko. But it didn't matter. The woman had stood up and started playing piano – so much for spending the rest of the time in silence but in hindsight Aoko was glad for the noise. Her piano skills weren't half bad either and so it kept the dark thoughts out of her mind.
Aoko hadn't really relaxed, she'd had her guard up all the time, but she let herself listen to the tune. She kept the thoughts away from her, focusing on the music only. It helped. She liked it.
Eventually, Kudo had come in, annoyed at the scene he stumbled upon and he threw her out in order to talk to that woman alone. Aoko felt irritation at that but at the same time – that woman wasn't a psychologist so what could she tell him? Sure, Aoko was uncooperative but then again the woman wasn't who Kudo had told her she was. Nakamori was only being considerate and besides, she stayed there and kept listening to that woman. She easily could have walked out and left. Easily.
To say that Kudo was unpleased with her was the understatement of the century but what had he expected anyway? She didn't have to answer to his every command, ok maybe that was part of the deal but she was a criminal and if they really though strikingt deals with criminals were a good idea then maybe they needed to think again.
So, Kudo had raged in silence but Aoko didn't care. He drove her back and she silently disappeared into her room, never to be seen again.
She had stayed until night when she jumped out the window and left for an illegal fight.
She needed to relieve stress. Today had been taxing to say the least. She wasn't good with emotions and feelings – she had too many of those and they were killing her. Fighting usually wore her out to the point that she was too tired to think and was even able to sleep for a few hours. They condemned her for all the illegal fighting but it was her lifeline. If she had to live, she needed to fight.
It was warm, stuffy, the air felt suffocating but in a good way. It smelled like sweat and blood but in a good way. The screams, the chants, they weren't deafening but encouraging. She was the champion here, undefeated even though many tried and many got her bad but in the end she always prevailed, even if her bones were broken, even if she lost half her blood, she never gave up.
Maybe though she was just crazy. And suicidal. Maybe, and many people rumored, she should have died, she should have succumbed to her injuries once or twice or many times. Some called her a witch, others a demon who was undefeatable though it never stopped anyone from trying anyway.
And then she opened her eyes and attacked.
OMG I'm incredibly sorry for the incredibly long wait. This story is so incredibly difficult to write even though I know exactly what is supposed to happen and I have so many ideas but... yeah ^^" and then there's life and everything.
Still, hopefully I'm back to updating more regularly.
Hope, you liked it.