Chapter 37- Cass Oceansong

The hovercraft took Willow away hours ago, and I'm still in the clearing. Just sitting. Staring at the trees. Ignoring the stabbing pain in my side, even though I'm sure it's infected by now. Images of Willow's last moments are branded into my brain. I don't think they'll ever go away.

After she died, two more cannons sounded; I don't know who they were. And then an hour later another cannon. Four tributes and it's not even afternoon yet. I feel lost. I am lost. I don't know where I am.

I hate birds, hate robins, hate anything that flies now. I don't care if it wasn't a real robin, it still killed Willow. It melted her flesh to the bone. I shake my head but it won't clear, the image won't go away. If I could bore into my skull, cut away those memories, I would.

After a while I get up. My legs are stiff from sitting so long. And I start to walk, in a completely different direction from where I was going before. I have water. Now I need food. But I don't know how to get food. I'm a fisher, not a hunter.

I go hours without seeing anyone else. They must be hiding well, or I just don't see them. It's like a dream state, like I'm sleepwalking. I feel alternately hot and cold, and my side throbs. Finally I sit on a rock and peel back the bandage. A clean cut, but with red streaks heading upwards. It's infected, I'm hurt, hurt bad. Blood poisoning. I wrap it back up. Maybe I can outlast the rest of them.

He comes out of nowhere, spear in hand. "I told you you shouldn't have crossed Buck. Now you're going to pay the price." He's so tall, too tall. I flip off the rock and take off running, crashing through the bushes and the trees, but he's keeping up with me. He's faster than me. So I climb a tree, higher and higher.

He looks up at me, I look down at him. "I was allies with Willow! I tried to save her, Buck, but I couldn't. But I was there when she died." "So what?" "She was your district partner!" "So what? She wasn't my ally! I don't care she's dead, 4."

For some reason Rigg comes to mind. Some part of me wants him to save me, to keep me alive. I know he won't. Rigg hasn't appeared to me yet in the Games, and he would only save himself. Like Buck and Willow. My district partner is looking out for himself. Not me.

My foot steps on a rotten branch and before I can grab another I crash to the ground, almost on top of Buck. He raises his spear to impale me, but even with an injury I'm fast. I roll out of the way and the spearhead hits the tree roots instead. In the second it take Buck to yank the spear out of the ground I'm gone, running away again.

Instead of eluding Buck, I run into another enemy. The boy from 9 is almost as big as Buck is, and he's holding a sword. With one movement, before I can run or duck, or do anything, he catches me across the side of the head with the flat part of his sword, knocking me senseless. I see two of him, then three, all swirling around, meshing with the blue sky peering through the trees.

And I find my voice. "Please don't stab me. I don't want to hurt anymore." My voice is nothing but a hoarse whisper. And for some reason he listens to me. He turns his sword and hits me in the temple with the blunt handle. My skull cracks, I can hear it. I'm not sure if this is more merciful than cutting me. I can't think, can't think.

Buck's arrived and the boy from 9 is battling him. The sounds seem like they're coming from a mile away, the screaming, the clashing of weapons. No cannons. No cannons yet.

I stare up at the piece of blue sky. It looks like all the skies I've seen in District 4, out on the ocean, on the seashore.

I made promises to come home. I've broken so many promises. I promised Willow that I would kill the pack. I promised Cressida and Calypso and Wave I'd come home. Tempest, my best friend in the world. I even promised to the Avox girl in my room that I would win. I've broken all those promises. But it's not Wave that's going to die, it's going to be me.

My sisters. Their sweet, sweet faces swim before me. No cannons. But I can't hear anymore anyways. That little bit of blue is gone; the ocean is gone. The sky is gone. Everyone is gone. But me. The memory of a sail with my father comes to mind. The beauty of District 4, of my family and my friends. I think of that while I'm waiting for the cannon. I'm sorry.

Then what little light is left goes out and I am consumed by the darkness.