Helga was anxious with anticipation. Godric could hear her pacing by the foot of his bed. "How much longer?"

"Soon enough, Lady Helga." Rowena offered in comfort somewhere near him.

Salazar sounded like he was still moving and rearranging items in the potions cabinet. "This is the last time I let Godric's bloody house elves touch anything that isn't his."

Godric felt himself smiling. He had always thought Salazar's obsession with tidiness amusing. He had long ago told his elves to intentionally mess with the order in which Salazar arranged certain items for Godric's own amusement. He had planned on telling them to stop at some point, but then decided against it. He figured he might as well enjoy the show while Salazar is still in the dark.

"You know what they say about house elves," said Rowena, her voice amused. "Their behaviour is but a reflection of their master's whims."

"It's truly concerning when said master's whims have the potential to impale him at best." He paused. "Lady Helga, will you please stop pacing?"

"I just don't understand! He should've been awake hours ago."

"A volcanic eruption could hardly wake Godric on a regular day. He's in an induced healing slumber. Give him some time."

"But he's already fully healed!"

"And by default that should give you no reason to fret. Besides, he's already awake thinking of the many ways he could woo Lady Vulchanova."

"Get the bloody hell out of my head, you serpent-tongued menace!" Godric blurted before he could stop himself, glaring hard at the smirking blond by the potions cabinet.

Rowena rose to her feet, looking furious and absolutely scandalised. "So it's true!"

Helga barrelled into his arms before he could utter a word in defence. "Oh Godric, I was so worried!" she said, pulling back to look at him, the shadows under her soft brown eyes and gaunt cheeks increasing Godric's guilt by tenfold. "How are you feeling?"

"Lady Helga, please show some decency," said Salazar gently but with a slight frown on his face.

Godric grabbed her small hands in his larger ones and brought them to his lips. "I owe you a great debt for saving my life. From this day forth I shall be at your beck and call. If there is anything I can do for you, sweet lady, anything at all to make up for the grief that I've caused you, I want you to name it for I can never apologise enough."

"As you can see, Lady Helga, our Godric is doing very well," said Salazar, rushing over to ease Helga off the bed.

She flushed. "Well you didn't exactly see him lying unconscious in the middle of the forest bleeding to death, now did you?"

"Can't be as bad as seeing him naked twice in a fortnight."

Godric frowned, then looked down to find himself bare-chested. He grabbed a fistful of the sheets covering his lower body and pulled them back, suddenly curious of his injuries. He was relieved to see that the greatest indication of his manhood was without a single scratch.

"Oh for goodness' sake, Godric, show some decency!" shrilled Rowena, looking away and blushing red.

"Make that thrice in a fortnight," Salazar corrected himself.

Helga was the only one that seemed indifferent of Godric's nakedness. She tutted and pulled the covers over his chest. "Your other vital organs are also perfectly intact, in case you're wondering."

Salazar smiled. "I do love it when you talk like that."

"Only because I've been spending too much time with you," she said with a grin.

"Well I cherish your company."

"I do too, especially when you dress as nicely as you do right now," she said, giving his form an appreciative look. Salazar was very pleased with her praise.

It was then Godric noticed that Salazar was wearing one of his best robes. He had also combed his blond hair and trimmed his beard short. His favourite golden locket with the serpentine 'S' glittering in green precious stones was hanging over his chest.

Godric felt his heart swell with joy for his friend. Could it be that a lady had finally caught Salazar's fancy?

"Godric, do I want to know why you're staring at me like that?" asked Salazar, looking like he'd rather not know.

Godric grinned. "Does this very fortunate young lady have a name?"

Helga giggled. "Oh Godric, we have much to catch up on indeed!"

Salazar sighed ruefully. "I shouldn't have asked."

Godric laughed heartily. "Come now, dear friend, you don't have to be so bashful around your own friends! I know a man in love when I see one."

"You clearly don't," said Rowena, rolling her eyes. "He's looking his best today because I asked him to."

"If my memory serves me correct, Lady Rowena, you demanded rather than asked," said Salazar contemptuously. "I will perform my duty as requested, but I stand by what I said. This whole partnership with Nerida Vulchanova and Durmstrang Institute is a terrible idea."

Godric frowned, looking between the other three founders with confusion. He noticed Helga looking especially bashful. "What duty? Why haven't I been informed of these decisions you've all apparently been taking without me?"

"Off with your dramatics, Godric," said Rowena. "You were half-dead, for goodness' sake! Important decisions couldn't wait for your recovery, so we had to take them on your behalf."

"We would never converge behind your back, Godric!" said Helga imploringly. "We didn't have a choice this time. Lady Vulchanova was going to leave. We had to act fast."

A great panic was set in Godric's very core. He sat up and took Helga's hands in his once more, now looking desperately back at her. "And you stopped her?"

"You're welcome," drawled Salazar.

"Salazar managed to convince Harfang Munter to stay, who later somehow managed to convince the Lady Vulchanova to give Hogwarts a second chance," explained Rowena.

Rowena then told Godric all about how they reached the conclusion that their only hope of ever forming a decent relationship with Durmstrang Institute lies with Salazar's charms. He was thus delegated the task of influencing their guests' final verdict to their advantage by showcasing the school's most prized assets, while Godric was especially asked to never approach Vulchanova or Munter throughout the duration of their visit and to only speak to them when asked to by the other three founders. He was also told to abandon his search of the wild piglets whose mother he slew.

"It's what got us searching for you in the forest," explained Helga. "You see, Lady Vulchanova had already found the little ones by the time you left. All eight piglets survived! Can you believe it? Well, one was rather sickly so she brought him to me to nurture back to health. She's been helping me build them a home ever since. They've grown quite attached to her! They follow her everywhere they could."

He blinked. "And no one thought to inform me of this?"

"That's why we came to the forest looking for you," she said defensively. "We were going to tell you that we found them and that they're all safe."

He shook his head. "This is the last time I'm taking an antler for a woman," he grumbled. Then he remembered his friends' decision to bar him from approaching said woman.

"Don't you dare," warned Rowena, as if she just read his mind. "Lady Vulchanova herself has no desire to speak with you."

"Only because of a terrible misunderstanding!" he said. Rowena raised a brow. He flushed. "Several terrible misunderstandings. You cannot possibly ask me to leave things as they are. My reputation is at stake, Lady Rowena! Surely you'd understand?"

She sighed, for once looking sympathetic. "I do understand how important it is to you, Sir Godric, but we're walking on thin ice as it is. We must trudge carefully, so for the meantime I will have to ask you to please keep your distance."

"Or maybe he shouldn't," said Salazar, stroking his beard thoughtfully. He wasn't deterred by the scathing look Rowena sent his way. "I say we let him do what he wants."

Godric gaped at Slytherin. He was half tempted to pinch himself, just to really make sure that he wasn't still unconscious because surely Salazar didn't just take his side in an argument.

"We are not having this discussion," said Rowena with finality, narrowing her eyes defiantly at the much taller man. "It's imperative that we establish a bond with Durmstrang Institute and as one of Hogwarts' founders it is your duty to assist in every way possible."

"I am not denying that responsibility, Lady Rowena, I'm just saying that Lady Vulchanova is not to be trusted. She is hiding something, and whatever it may be I assure you that it is most definitely worth hiding."

"And you promised you wouldn't try to look into her mind, especially not without her knowledge and consent," said Helga disapprovingly. "That was awfully rude of you!"

For a moment Godric thought he saw something akin to guilt flickering across Salazar's face. He looked away before Godric could read anymore into it. "I didn't have a choice. I wish I could make you understand, Lady Helga, I truly do for if you did you wouldn't reprimand me as much as you do right now, but I will say this: Nerida Vulchanova is too guarded."

"Naturally," said Rowena. "Wouldn't you be cautious when surrounded by complete strangers in a foreign land so far away from home?"

He shook his head, looking exasperated, like he's already explained himself a thousand times before. "You don't understand. She knows that one of us is a Ligilimens. She doesn't appear to know which one in specific, but she's done her research on us and she's trained her mind to hide a grave secret."

"You have no solid proof to back this up," argued Rowena.

"I was in her mind, Rowena."

"That still doesn't prove anything. This secret of hers might be something personal rather than dangerous."

"And that's precisely why you must never do it again," said Helga, placing her hands on her hips. "An honourable gentleman does not look into a lady's private thoughts without her knowledge and permission."

"And yet he still did even when we specifically told him not to," added Rowena, receiving Salazar's sharp look unflinchingly. "I fear that you're becoming worst than Godric, Salazar."

"What is that supposed to mean?" demanded Godric before Salazar could speak, having grown far too agitated in his silence. "I still don't see why I can't make amends with Lady Vulchanova, or how you expect Salazar to win her over when we all know that I have a better chance and a far more promising history with the fairer sex!"

"Oh you definitely have a history with women," grumbled Rowena.

Salazar snorted. "I don't believe we ought to call it history just yet, as that would imply that our dear Godric had gotten past that phase when we all know for a fact that he's been living in it since boyhood."

Godric glowered at him. "At least I have some experience in that particular field."

Salazar raised a single eyebrow. "And what made you think I don't?"

"The fact that I've never actually seen you with a woman, you bloody pompous Irishman."

"There's no grace in airing one's dirty undergarments, Godric."

"Ha, says the virgin that has never even glanced a single naked breast!"

Helga, beet red, had had enough of this talk. She put herself between the two men. "Stop it right now, both of you!"

"She's right. You're both acting like little schoolboys and it's unbecoming of men of your age and prominence," scolded Rowena.

"And there's absolutely no shame in saving oneself for marriage," added Helga in Salazar's defence, making him pinch the bridge of his nose as Godric outright laughed at that.

"Both of you will cease and desist," demanded Rowena, looking at them the same way she would her misbehaving students. Salazar opened his mouth to rebel but she was quicker. "You, Salazar, will continue entertaining Lady Vulchanova and her aide while Godric avoids them as he would an epidemic. This is our final verdict and I will hear no more on the subject from either one of you. Understood?"

"I have a right to cleanse my sullied name!" boomed Godric, attempting to look domineering despite the state he was in. "You cannot deny me this, Lady Rowena!"

"I can and I most certainly will, Sir Godric, and if I so much as suspect you attempting to seduce Lady Vulchanova I will have you removed from the premises."

Godric flushed in embarrassment. "Must you believe everything Salazar utters? I do not fancy Lady Vulchanova. Quite the opposite, actually, especially considering that it's her fault I'm incarcerated in this–"

"It was thanks to her you're alive today, Godric," said Helga in her defence, cutting him off mid-rant.

"I'd say it was your unrelenting efforts, Lady Helga, but I suppose Lady Vulchanova was helpful when needed," added Salazar. "Also Godric I thought you were nearly killed by a deer, not Lady Vulchanova."

"Stag," Godric corrected, glaring daggers at Salazar, "and a bloody savage one at that. He had antlers made for killing, that beast!"

"Naturally."

"Who's side are you on?"

"You know I'm always on the winning side, Godric."

"Have you no honour? Does my friendship hold no value?"

"Right now your friendship is costing me my liberty."

"At the expense of this school's future, which I'm sure is far more important to both of you than anything else in the world," said Rowena, staring at both men expectantly.

Godric bristled at that. "I told you I have absolutely no interest in pursuing Lady Vulchanova! Why should I anyway when I can have any other woman? She's not even my type to begin with! I like my women beautiful and soft and approachable and she's stiffer than a cane with hardly any proper feminine qualities to make up for it."

"It might have escaped your notice, Sir Gryffindor, but I am not here for your viewing pleasure."

Godric bit back a yelp. It sounded like something Rowena might say but he knew it wasn't her; otherwise she wouldn't be looking at him with murder in her icy blue eyes. Lady Vulchanova stood by the entrance of the infirmary with her aide, having entered unannounced and unnoticed, and both looked very displeased with what they heard coming from Godric. It didn't help that Godric was immediately reminded of their encounter in the forest where for a short while he was close enough to feel her breath on his face.

She didn't give him the opportunity to apologise or to explain himself. She looked at Salazar. "I would like to have that tour now, Lord Slytherin."

Salazar smiled pleasantly. "As you wish, my lady."

"Lord Slytherin?" Godric echoed, looking at Salazar incredulously.

"Yes, Godric, that would be my official title," said Salazar, fixing his robes once before walking to Lady Vulchanova and offering her his arm. "But I'd rather we skip the formalities, Lady Vulchanova, especially if we are aiming to establish a strong and long-lasting friendship."

She slipped her hand into the crook of his arm. "And yet you continue being so formal with me, Lord Slytherin."

"A gentleman never addresses a lady using her first name without her sound consent."

"Your customs are odd," she said. Her lips quirked into a small smile. "Nerida."

He gave her one of his charming smiles. "You have a lovely name, Lady Nerida."

They left in higher spirits with Salazar. Rowena looked pleased with the outcome while Helga gushed at Salazar's ease and prowess with people. It paved the way for an outcome Godric had previously rendered nearly impossible to achieve.

It occurred to Godric that he had never once seen Vulchanova smile, not even with Helga whom she seemed to like most. For the first time in his life he was overcome with envy of Salazar's elegance and classically handsome looks that induced such results from an otherwise unrelenting woman, but Godric Gryffindor was never one to surrender easily especially when it comes to the women he desires and especially to Salazar whom he knows will use this particular triumph to his advantage in future arguments. He can only hope that Rowena will forgive his transgression.

A/N: I am very much convinced that Salazar Slytherin was a Lord at some point, because he wouldn't be who he is if he didn't strive to climb the tallest ladder there is. Also he's definitely not a virgin.