Commencement

Chapter 19

"JJ? Are you all right?"

Even as he heard himself saying the words, he realized the ridiculousness of them. Of course she wasn't all right. Neither of them were. What he was really asking was the thing about which he feared hearing her answer.

What else have you been through? What did she do to you?

She was still having trouble righting herself, and he wasn't faring much better. Leaving Morgan and Rossi to deal with the unsubs, Emily ran over to help both of her injured colleagues. She helped JJ to a sitting position, and started her own inquiry, as she worked at freeing the binding from JJ's wrists.

"Are you okay? Did they hurt you?"

Reid struggled to his knees, and then realized it was putting more pressure on his thigh. He went for a sitting position himself, anxiously waiting to hear JJ's answer to Emily's question.

"Just this…" Waving a circle in front of her face, which both other profilers could now see was bruised and abraded.

Her hands finally free, JJ began gingerly touching at her face, but Emily pushed her hands away.

"Let me." Feeling along JJ's jaw, and cheekbones, and orbits. Then squeezing her skull, and checking her ears, front and back. "I don't feel anything broken. But you're going to have one hell of a shiner."

In another circumstance, they might have chuckled at that. But it didn't feel like there was anything humorous about this situation, in no small part because of the look on Reid's face.

"What?"

Emily didn't understand the concern she saw etched into his features. They'd gotten both of their agents back, and they would close out the Behavioral Analysis Unit in a worthy way. What was there to be so worried about?

Reid gestured toward the place where his gaze was fixated. "Your hands. What happened to your hands?"

JJ looked down at the relevant appendages in a detached way, as though they weren't a part of her body. Her eyes took in what Reid's had. Her hands were covered in dirt, and the remnants of moldy leaves. The red streak was no longer visible under the filth.

"I…"

"JJ."

"They…she… Linda. She thought I would run, if they walked me through the woods. And she was right, I would have. So…..so, she made me crawl."

Emily's brows went up. "They made you crawl from the cabin to here? But how…"

JJ knew what she was asking. "My hands were free. She had me at gunpoint. They didn't bind me again until we got here. I think she wanted to.."

JJ shivered a thought away, and it was enough for Reid to know.

She wanted to watch them have their way with you, while you were helpless. That would have been the ultimate pleasure of dominance for her.

He had trouble tamping down his anger, but he won control long enough to verify it.

"You said 'she wanted to'. Does that mean it didn't happen?"

Holding his breath until she responded. He was already irate enough, about what their unsubs had succeeded in doing to her. If he found out that she'd been subjected to a sexual assault as well, he wasn't sure he'd be able to control himself. Spencer Reid had only ever taken a kill shot when he, or one of his own had been in danger. This day, he thought he might also be capable of taking one as an act of vengeance.

JJ shook her head. "It didn't. You came before it could happen, thank God."

Reid silently echoed her words, thanking God for having spared her that one thing, and for having saved him from his vengeful condemnation. But his relief was short-lived, when his brain brought him back to his original concern. JJ's hands were covered in filth. What had already been an infected wound might now have become a potentially lethal one.

"We need to get you to the hospital, right away." Pushing up, and trying to help her to her feet, and nearly falling over in the process. JJ reflexively reached out a hand to steady him, and instantly winced.

Emily was concerned about both of her old friends.

"I think you meant to say that we need to get both of you to the hospital right away, right?"

By now, all of their unsubs were either wounded or restrained, or both, and Rossi had called for backup. At a signal from Emily, he summoned an additional ambulance for their colleagues, and then accompanied Morgan in moving over to join the small group.

"You okay?" His words directed toward JJ, but it was Reid who answered.

"Her wound was already infected and now it's been contaminated by soil pathogens and mold. She needs antibiotics immediately!"

He'd become vehement in declaring the emergency, and it seemed to drain the last ounce of strength in him. Once again, Reid swayed on his feet. But, this time, even with three sets of hands reaching out to him, he fell heavily to the ground, no longer conscious enough to hear the frightened cry of his good friend.

"Kid!"

"Hey, Kid."

Spencer Reid had stirred enough to provoke a response from the man sitting at his bedside, but only just. As he slowly came back to alertness, Reid sensed, rather than saw, where he was. He could feel the tape and tubing of his IV, and the various electrodes attached to his chest and limbs. It was a far cry from the place, and the situation, he'd been visiting in his subconscious just seconds ago, and he had trouble deciding which was real. But he had no trouble at all in deciding which he wished was real. Because his current environment wasn't anywhere near as sweet as the one he'd just bid adieu.

I'm in a hospital. And someone is with me.

Something about the words he'd heard, and the voice that had spoken them, seemed familiar. Eerily familiar. Deja vu type familiar, making it even more difficult for Reid to orient himself. His eyes blinked repeatedly, but couldn't focus. His ears…..his ears had just brought him back eleven years, to another hospital, and another bedside chat. Or maybe…

Is this then? Am I just now waking up? Have I dreamt everything else?

Not at all certain if he wished that were true, or not.

As the anesthesia continued to wear off, Reid's synapses began to fire, one after another, with increasing rapidity. As they did, his brain began to fill in the gap in time from that prior hospital room, to this one. It sent him mental images of the past eleven years, of things that had happened, and things that had not. Things wished for, and lost. People wished for, and lost. People cared for, and hurt. Aspirations. Dreams. Wishes. Disappointments. Anxieties. Anticipations. Laughter, and tears. Pain, and joy. Sorrow, and hope.

The voice sounded again. "Kid, you in there?"

Another set of synapses fired, and Reid turned his head in the direction from which the voice had come.

"Morgan?" His throat sounding the ache of intubation.

"Yeah, it's me. You know, Pretty Boy, I never thought I'd be sitting next to you in a hospital bed like this again."

Reid was still slow on the uptake, and it took him a few seconds to respond.

"Again?"

This isn't a dream? It wasn't a dream, all of it?

If that was true, Maeve had been real, and was gone. Gideon was gone. Emily was….

Wait…Emily….she's here, she's still here! And JJ…

"Where's JJ?"

"What, I don't even get a hello? She's okay, Kid. Or she will be. They think she'll be out of the ICU by tomorrow."

Apparently his long term memory had come back more quickly than his short term. It took Reid a full minute to process what Morgan had just told him.

JJ's in the hospital. In the ICU? What…what….oh. An explosion. She was hurt. Wait, is that why I'm here?

He looked helplessly into the eyes of the man to whom he'd entrusted his life on more than one occasion, and asked about the state of it.

"What happened?"

Ever so slowly, Reid absorbed the events of the past few days, as far as Morgan knew them. With the gaps filled in, Reid's memory began to provide him with all of the things Morgan couldn't know. The pain, the cold, the darkness, the fear for one another, the acts of courage, and love. Especially the love.

Once the process reached critical minimum, his memory came flooding back, and Reid started to become agitated, worried beyond reason about what was happening with his best friend.

"Why is she in the ICU? I need to see her!"

Derek Morgan had long ago developed a surprising affection for his junior colleague. Along the way, that affection had become intertwined with a deep respect, and an unexpected, brotherly bond. All three activated at seeing the distress of his friend.

"Whoa, calm down now, Pretty Boy. She's gonna be all right. In fact, Emily is…"

A light knock on the jamb of the open door announced the arrival of the unit chief.

"I just came from seeing her. She gave them that little scare last night, but it looks like the antibiotics have kicked in, and her blood pressure is coming back up."

Even an incapacitated Spencer Reid knew which words to focus on.

"What happened to her blood pressure? Was she septic? Is she now?"

Emily came over to the bed and laid what she hoped would feel like a reassuring hand on his arm. She had known him too long, and too well, to give him anything but the truth. Before she spoke again, she looked at him long enough to win his gaze, telegraphing the sincerity of her words.

"The doctors think she's going to be okay. I don't know all of the technicalities, so I can't answer all of your questions. What I know is that her blood pressure fell very low late yesterday, and they were worried about her. But it's coming back up today, and they don't seem as worried. They think they have the right antibiotic now."

Reid opened his mouth to respond, but was interrupted when a nurse rushed into his room.

"Dr. Reid, how do you feel? Are you lightheaded? Dizzy?"

Checking his monitor, and then his bandages, and taking his pulse by hand. Seeing the look of confusion on her patient's face, she explained, "Your heart rate just went up thirty beats a minute. I was worried you were bleeding out!"

While the nurse assured herself that her patient hadn't taken a turn for the worse, Emily offered an apologetic explanation.

"We were telling Dr. Reid about Agent Jareau, and he got a little worried. That's all it was."

The nurse raised one eyebrow. "Thirty beats per minute is more than 'a little worried'. Are you sure you're up to visitors, Dr. Reid?"

The BAU genius decided it was worth a shot. "I think I'd probably feel a little better if I could see Agent Jareau for myself."

His experienced caregiver wasn't falling for it. "Nice try. But you are most definitely not ready to be out of bed. The surgeons will have to clear you before you can even be upright. Two surgeries are nothing to sneeze at."

Reid's eyes narrowed. "Two surgeries?"

Emily exchanged a look with Morgan, who advised, "He's having trouble remembering everything right now."

The BAU Unit Chief examined the man who had long ago claimed a very unique place in her heart. As the agent in charge, she'd been made aware of the medical staff's concerns about what his hypovolemic shock might have done to his brain. Now, she could only wonder, in dread, if she was seeing the consequences.

Please, God, not on our very last case! Please don't let him have lost anything! I would miss even one of those 187 IQ points!

Doing her best to mask her concern, Emily filled him on the events of the previous days.

"You probably don't remember it, but you passed out right after you saved JJ." Making a point of her phrasing, and attribution. "I think you scared all of us to death, and Morgan here was about to start CPR…but we checked your pulse, and it was there. Very, very faint, and you looked as white as a sheet, but it was there."

Morgan took up the tale. "They only sent two ambulances, and two of the unsubs were shot, so they were transported together. We had to do the same for you and JJ, and they wouldn't let anyone else ride with you."

Getting a little riled, all over again, at the memory.

Emily laid a hand of support on Morgan's shoulder. "There wasn't room. At least JJ was with him."

"JJ was scared to death, Princess. Did you see the look in her eyes? She thought we were about to lose him, and so did I."

Reid issued a mental apology to his best friend over what he'd put her through, fervently wishing he could do it in person.

Emily acknowledged the anxiety they'd felt as they'd watched their two friends leave in the ambulance that afternoon.

"It's true, we were all scared. But not as much as that night."

Reid looked back and forth from one friend to the other, anxious to know, but dreading the answer.

"What happened that night?" Then, realizing that he'd lost track, he added, "How many days has it been?"

Another glance exchanged, and this time Reid understood its meaning. "Guys, cut me a break, I was unconscious."

Morgan acknowledged him with a nod. "Two, Kid. The day it happened, they brought you in, and JJ told them what happened, and they barely even examined you before whisking you off to surgery. JJ said they cleaned up her wounds, and did some tests on her, too, and then they started some antibiotics."

Emily took over. "At first, it looked like you were both out of the woods...ha, sorry, I meant that figuratively. But then, things turned. Both of you bottomed out that night, at about the same time. They rushed you back into surgery, and found a tear in a blood vessel that they had missed the first time. You actually went to the ICU for about twelve hours after that, but they let you come out to a regular room late yesterday. JJ…she was doing okay, but then she spiked a fever, and within an hour or so, her blood pressure fell, and she was out."

"That's when they said she was septic," added Morgan. "But they called some specialist, and she told them to change the antibiotics, and it seems like that did the trick."

"They're watching her," concluded Emily, "because her vital signs aren't quite normal yet, but they're on their way."

Reid spent a short time processing, and his thoughts became more troubled by the minute. He'd read about sepsis. Even if the process could be turned around, the fact that someone had been through it could have lasting effects. The emotional side of him wanted to fling his various wires and tubes aside, and run to the ICU. But the practical side of him felt the stiff bandage around his leg, and knew that the most helpful thing he could do for his best friend was not to become a distraction.

They said she's getting better. Emily wouldn't lie to me about something like that. And whatever happened...or please God, didn't happen...is already decided. There's nothing to be done about it.

Except to send an emissary.

"You should be with her. She shouldn't be alone."

Emily nodded. "I'll go back. But they limit visitation in the ICU, so I thought I'd come and check on my other injured supervisory special agent in the meantime." Giving him an affectionate grin.

He returned it, in muted fashion, then thought to ask about their other missing colleagues.

"Where's the rest of the team? Where's Rossi?"

"The director didn't want to hold up their transfers, since the case is closed here. They've already gone back to Quantico. They said to give you their best, by the way."

"And Rossi?" Knowing that their elder colleague had planned his second retirement to coincide with the closing out of the unit.

"Rossi? Oh. He, uh, he's running an errand."

"An errand?"

"Yes, he had to pick something up for me."

Reid's brow folded into an expression of disbelief.

"You're using David Rossi, founder of the BAU, as an errand boy?"

Upon which that thick, familiar tone was heard coming from the hallway.

"I heard that. And, yes, today I was an errand boy." Standing in the doorway now, and sweeping his hand from outside to in. "And here's my errand."

Spencer Reid's eyes widened, as his heart nearly summoned the nurse once again.

"Hotch!"

Standing closer to the door, and not looking at all surprised, Emily greeted her predecessor with a hug. Morgan followed with a firm handshake and a pat on the back. Then Aaron Hotchner moved in close to Reid's bedside.

"I thought I told you not to make a habit of this," he quipped.

Reid reached out a hand that didn't quite form itself into a handshake, but rather into a grasp, and it drew Hotch into an awkward hug, made so by the various pieces of medical equipment affixed to the younger man's body.

"I can't believe you're here!" Pause. "What are you doing here?" Then, wary, and misreading the situation, he shot an accusatory look at his other colleagues. "JJ's not really all right, is she?"

All three issued simultaneous denials, as Hotch explained.

"I was supposed to be a surprise guest at the farewell party at Rossi's. But, since you're all here, instead of there, and since this is the only time I could get away…"

Rossi finished for him. "We moved the party here. Which means you're going to have to hurry up and heal that leg."

Reid was too knowledgeable about the extent of his injury, and began to issue his apology.

"I don't think…."

The BAU founder waved it away. "Relax, Spencer, it was just an encouragement. I know you're stuck here for a while, and this won't exactly be a party. So," he shrugged, "we'll do it in a few months, and call it a reunion."

"Exactly," agreed Morgan. "And then I can bring Savannah and our little man, and you can teach your little namesake how to do magic."

"Sounds good to me." Emily stood, and looked to her three upright male friends. "I'm going to go and check on JJ again, and then I'm headed to the coffee shop. No, never mind, strike that. After I see about JJ, I'm going in search of a decent coffee shop. Anyone want to join me?"

"I'm in!" said Morgan.

"With pleasure," agreed Rossi.

Hotch declined the offer. Reid tried to put in an order, but was reminded that he was on a hospital diet.

It sounded a bell of vague recognition, the emptying of a hospital room to serve a certain purpose, but Reid's foggy brain couldn't quite place it. Still, he was glad of the opportunity to have time alone with the man who had served as a mentor and friend to him, for a very long time. He'd missed Hotch more than he'd admitted, even to himself. So much had happened in his life, since Hotch had last been a part of it, and Reid couldn't help but wonder if it might all have been just a bit more tolerable, with Aaron Hotchner's wise counsel.

The others were permitted to depart only after Emily promised to return immediately if there was any reason for concern about JJ. That left Reid and Hotch alone, sitting in a silence that managed to feel both companionable and weighty at the same time, and neither was quite certain how to break it.