Chapter 4- Laying Low

"So this guy shows up half-naked in your Den, admitting to having murdering someone, and you're complaining about missing him? That's some fucked up shit, Hummel." Santana scoffs, holding up a picture of Jesse from Kurt's swift social media search.

Kurt bites his lip. "I suppose it is. But I can't help it, Tana. Jesse and I, there's something there. I don't know if it's romantic, but we're connected. He can read my eyes in a way that nobody else can."

Santana hums. "So you can excuse the murder because he can tell when you're upset? You're gonna end up on the news."

Kurt puts his head in his hands. "I know, what am I going to do?"

"You're going to do exactly what the fine white boy told you to do. Lay low. Kurt, you're the wrong person to get caught up in a drug war."

Kurt shifts defensively. "I could do drugs."

Santana scoffs, but not meanly. "Yeah, okay, Harvey Milk."

"So I do what Jesse says. I can do that. Part of me wants to go and find him, though. To make sure he's okay."

"He'll be fine. He's a big boy and from what you've said he's done this type of shit before. He doesn't need to be worrying about you, too. I love you, boy, but you're a liability to him right now. Wait out the storm and you'll be fine."

Kurt nods. "Why do you always have to be right?"

"It's my Mexican third eye," Santana shrugs. "So what are you going to do about Finn?"

"I don't know. What can I do? My dad's adamant that I'm in the wrong and he won't listen to Carole, or to me. Finn's poisoning my good name everywhere he turns and I can't do anything about it."

Santana shrugs. "You could make sure he knows you're not to be messed with."

"I already hit him with a lamp, Santana. If he doesn't know by now, he's clearly too slow to learn."

"You could talk to your Dad, alone. Explain everything that's been going on. Not the Jesse stuff, but everything that's been going on with you. The gas station incident, how things are at school, maybe then he'll take notice. You're his kid, he's gotta be looking for a reason to defend you."

Kurt looks at her, eyes sad. "He shouldn't have to look. He should want to defend me because I'm his only son. Or so he says."

Jesse flicks the glass beaker idly, huffing.

"Just call him."

Jesse perks up, looking over at Walt who's so clearly sick of his brooding. "Is that what you think I should do?"

"Frankly, I don't really care, Jesse. But you so clearly want to, and the situation's been handled."

Jesse swallows heavily, trying not to think about Walt what had had to do to solve that particular problem.

"I'm just trying to figure out why you said something about this whole thing to somebody who you don't even know if you can trust."

Jesse's brow furrows. "I turned up at Kurt's den, told him I was a murderer and he didn't turn me in. I think that allows a bit of trust, don't you? So, without the lecture, what should I do?"

Walt sighs as he finishes his prep and turns and sits on the bench. "Why can't you just call him again?"

"He told me not to. I told him to lay low and he said that I shouldn't call when it's all over."

"And you believe that's truly what he wants?"

Jesse shrugs. "I think so."

"Then you wait for him to call you. Respect his decision. It's not an easy life to get involved with, Jesse. You know that. Give him some time to figure things out, and if he really wants to see you, he'll call."

Jesse nods. "Yeah. Thanks, Mr. White."

Walt forces a smile before dropping the subject entirely, not telling Jesse that he's convinced this whole thing is going to end in complete chaos.

Kurt swirls his wooden spoon around the pan of spaghetti that's bubbling and idly picks up his phone. He doesn't know why he's expecting Jesse to have called, considering the last thing Kurt had said to him was to not call. He guesses he expected Jesse to rebel as was his nature.

It isn't in Kurt's nature to sit around and wait for the thing that he wants. Leaving the food to slowly simmer, Kurt finds Jesse's contact details and his finger hovers over the call icon. His finger taps it lightly.

"Smells good," Burt mutters as he steps into the kitchen.

Kurt jumps, startled, and hangs up the call before it can even ring, hoping Jesse at least registers that he tried. "Oh, thanks."

"I haven't seen much of you lately. I don't know what you've been doing in that Den of yours, but it must be pretty important."

Kurt nods. "You've planned a wedding before, you know how it is."

"I do. We're all here if you need help."

"I should be fine. The ceremony is pretty much sorted, I just have some last minute details to arrange for the reception. The menu is done, DJ is hired, I just need to schedule some time for the speeches and performances."

"You're singing something, right? Carole mentioned a duet?"

Kurt smiles grimly. "There was an idea. But we decided that two solos would allow us to more accurately get our messages across."

Burt grins. "Don't you both have the same message?"

"You would think," Kurt shoots back, a little venom hidden in the traces of his intonation.

As soon as Burt lets out a sigh, Kurt knows that it's about to happen. Everything that's been building up for a while now is about to be released, and Kurt's about to look like the bad guy.

"Is something going on with you, kiddo? You're attacking people, skipping school, and you've been more distant than usual."

Kurt turns to Burt, aghast. "I'm starting to think you just don't pay any attention."

Burt stays silent, so Kurt continues. The spaghetti starts to bubble vigorously.

"If your eyes were open, you'd see that my actions have been largely reactive. Finn antagonises me with some of the most offensive things I've ever heard, and somehow I'm the one with something wrong with them. You should be more worried about Finn, he's increasingly paranoid and belligerent."

"I'm done hearing you two blame each other. There's tension in this house and it's down to both of you. No matter how badly he antagonises you, Kurt, you don't hit him with lamps. Something you still haven't apologised for, I noticed."

Kurt actually laughs. "You're joking, right? I'm not apologising for a single thing, Dad. If anything, I apologise for not seeing this coming earlier."

"Kurt, what did Finn say to you? You've never been a violent person."

Kurt feels tears prick at his eyes. "Why don't you ask Finn?"

"I already did."

The spaghetti begins to boil louder now.

"And that's why you think everything's my fault. Because Finn spun some stupid story about how I'm the bad guy."

Burt sighs. "I don't want to argue, Kurt. If you tell me what he said, I might be able to understand your side of the story."

Kurt clenches a jaw, tired of the back and forth. "He equated me to a rapist, some sexual predator who waits behind corners to jump his bones. He said he feels unsafe here, that I make him feel that way. He backed out of doing our duet at the wedding because it would make him uncomfortable and that people would talk."

Burt looks furious.

"And so you understand. And now you have a reason to defend me. Not that you should need one."

"I'm sorry, kiddo. I didn't know it was that serious. I figured it was just some teen angst that you both needed to work through. I'll talk to him. But I still think you should apologise for the lamp."

Smoke rises from the pan. Kurt jolts and calms it.

"I'll apologise when he does." Kurt knows that's not necessarily true, but he really wants to watch Finn pretend like he knows what he did is wrong.

Burt silently makes his leave as Kurt moves his spaghetti onto the plate.

He walks out into the brisk night air, a cold wind washing over him. He studies the ground at the base of the Den, looking for footprints, or any signs that Jesse has been there. Kurt quickly climbs into the Den and scans around. As he's about to descend the stairs again, he thinks about the conversation he had with his Dad and the one he is inevitably going to have with Finn when the time comes. He clambers the rest of the way into the Den and slips a movie into the DVD player.

He sits cross-legged with his food, dialling Jesse's number, free from interruptions now.

"You have reached a number that has been disconnected or is no longer in service…"

Kurt hangs up, sighing. He calls Santana.

"I called him."

Santana groans. "Of course you did. What did he say?"

"I don't know," Kurt chuckles darkly. "He must be blocking my number."

Santana snorts. "You're lucky you have me for this stuff. Jesse's a shady guy, Kurt, he's not going to keep the same phone for too long. Don't just jump to that conclusion. Now the ball is definitely in his court since you literally can't call him. This is going to be good for you."

Kurt sighs. "I hate it when you're right."

"It's both a gift and a curse. Did you talk to your Dad?"

Kurt gapes. "How do you do that? He came to talk to me, asking me why I've been distant lately."

"Wait, he blames you for all of this?"

Kurt laughs mirthlessly. "Yep. At least he did, I might have gotten him to see my side. I think he's going to talk to Finn."

"Well, that's something. Shit, I gotta go. See you at school?"

"See you. Love you, Tana."

"Love you, Liza."

Kurt sets his phone down, realising that the title menu of Casablanca has been playing on rotation. He presses play and sits back, carefully eating his dinner.

From his position, he can just about see the lights of the house. Finn's has been off. His dad's is still on.

As he watches for signs of movement, he's also watching the Den's entrance, wondering (read: hoping) that Jesse will magically pop out of thin air and climb up the ladder with that crooked smile on his face. Kurt pulls himself even tighter at just the thought of that, trying to distract himself with the movie.

Casablanca is one of his favourites, but even that can't keep his attention from wandering, wondering what Jesse might be doing, if he's okay, if he's going to call.

By the time that Ilsa and Rick arrive at the plane, Kurt has realised that Jesse isn't coming, might not come for a long time. Kurt had said he had wanted space, now he wished he hadn't said anything at all. He'd rather risk getting hurt than have Jesse be M.I.A somewhere he doesn't know about. Having Jesse around is something that he's getting used, something that's becoming a permanent and easy fixture in his life. Talking to Jesse is the best part of his day and he's not even ashamed of that. Sure, Jesse's occupation and lifestyle scare him a little bit, but it's somewhat masochistically exhilarating to know that he's vicariously caught up in something, that he's living through something that's so much bigger than the town he lives in. To know that he's alive is something that Kurt's been seeking for a while and he had always thought he would find it the first time he fell in love. Instead, he's found it by making connections with a drug-dealer.

It's only after the credits roll that Kurt begins to consider that the two might be cut from the same cloth. And that's something that does genuinely scare him.