Author's Note: So sorry for the long delay. Work has been horrible lately and I haven't had much time to write.
Thank you to wordsthinker for reviewing the last chapter!
Disclaimer: Lost is not mine.
Please read and review!
Code Silver
James sat at their usual table waiting for Juliet. He almost always got there first, but she usually managed to get there pretty soon after. Today he'd been waiting almost ten minutes already. The cafeteria was filling up and his pizza was getting cold. He finally started on it without her and scanned the room again. There she was, heading towards him with her own slice of pizza and a diet coke balanced on her tray. He smiled.
Juliet neared the table and his smile faltered. In the weeks since what he mentally referred to as the 'Cassidy Confusion' they'd become even closer. They had lunch together every day they could and she'd taken to spending nights with when their schedules allowed. Their schedules hadn't allowed lately, but he needed to focus. He knew her current facial expression. It was one of confusion and slight anger. She gave him a small smile as she set her tray down across from him.
"What's up?" He asked casually.
"Do you notice people talking about us?" She asked seriously. "Do the guys talk about us?"
"No. I mean, I don't know." He stammered. By 'they guys' she meant the security guys and he was not about to tell her how mere hours ago Dan had asked for information regarding her skills in the bedroom. The man had been so sure Juliet was a lesbian due to her long standing singleness that once he found out she was with James he seemed to need concrete proof as to why his theory was incorrect. Today James was saved from having to answer his questions by a helicopter coming in with a transfer patient. "Why?" He asked.
She opened her soda. "I've noticed some of the nurses acting strange around me. Whispering. Looking at me. Going silent when I walk by. That kind of thing."
James nodded.
"So I just asked Kelly about it and she said some people had noticed us spending time together and it's become the best gossip around."
He was unfazed by the news. "Want me to take ya on the salad bar?" He nodded in that direction. "That'll give 'em somethin' to talk about." He grinned.
Her eyebrows shot up at his suggestion. "James!" She scolded.
"What?" He asked innocently. "It's been a while! Can't blame a guy for tryin." He laughed.
She shook her head trying not to laugh. "Saturday." She reminded him. She'd been working late the past week and hadn't been able to spend nights with him. Saturday they had plans to take Julian to the zoo and then spend the night together.
"Saturday." James repeated. "On the salad bar?"
Juliet laughed. "You're horrible." She told him with a smile. He grinned.
"Why's it matter if they talk, anyway?" He asked.
"I don't know. I just don't like it." She said. "Shouldn't they have more important things to worry about?"
He shrugged. "I'm sure it'll blow over soon."
She sighed. "You're probably right."
They continued with their lunch. They talked about her late shift the night before and his early morning, but the whole time Juliet was mulling over his question in the back of her mind. Why did it matter if they talked? She knew she didn't really care what they thought about her or her relationship with James. It was the whispering behind her back and the eyes that followed her sometimes that she didn't like. She knew those things would make anyone unhappy, but she felt unnecessarily angry and hurt by them. She didn't used to be bothered by them. It hit her while James was talking about how busy the ER had been the last few days.
People had talked about her before, years ago when she still worked at the research facility with Edmund. Everyone knew she knew he was having affairs and they also knew she didn't have the balls to do anything about it. Break rooms would go silent when she entered. She'd hear whispers and snickers as she passed coworkers in the hallway. Just like with Ed's cheating she acted like she didn't know about it. They were mocking her and she knew it. And it made her feel horrible.
Juliet had been a different person back then. She finally got the courage to divorce Edmund even though it cost her her research. Since then she'd become stronger and wiser. She no longer let people walk all over her.
She was only half listening to James as they got up to take their trays to the counter and go back to work. The gossiping in the past had been because others were making fun of her or feeling sorry for her. Now, after looking at James, she knew it was different. This time they were jealous. Before she started seeing him a couple nurses had commented on the hot new security guard.
That hot new security guard was now hers.
As they headed towards the elevator James took her hand. It was generally the only physical contact he got while they were at the hospital unless they happened to find themselves alone in her office or an elevator. She wanted to keep things professional and he understood.
The hall leading to the cafeteria was busy. People were going in all directions either trying to get away from or back to work. They stopped outside the busy elevators. "Want me to walk you up?" He asked.
Juliet smiled. She knew he was busy and shouldn't take the time to walk her to her office. "No, it's ok." She said. His face fell and she knew why. He always managed to steal a kiss somewhere between the cafeteria and her destination on the second floor. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his in a short, but meaningful kiss.
James' eyes closed. His other hand went to her upper arm, wanting to pull her close, but knowing it wasn't the place.
She pulled back almost as suddenly as it started. She smiled and squeezed his hand, looking only at him, not worrying about who might be around to talk and report back to others on what they'd just witnessed.
"What about - ?" He started, not knowing how to put her earlier worries into words.
"Doesn't matter." She answered.
He grinned.
A smiling Juliet stepped into a crowded elevator and rode it up as James headed back to the security office. That woman. He thought. Every time he thought he had her figured out she'd surprise him. And he loved it.
He walked through the ER and stopped at the monitors to see what kind of patients they had today. A spider bite in room 3, a rash in 4. A ten year old with abdominal pain sat in 15 with his mother. An elderly woman awaited x-ray results in 17 after a fall at home. So far so good. Not too busy and not psych patients. After the last few days James was thankful for the quiet.
Gene was in the office when he got back. The man was an ex truck driver and quite full of himself, but was a nice enough guy. He got up out of one of the office chairs and stretched his long limbs. "Gettin' tired of sittin'." He told James. "You mind if I walk a while?"
James shook his head. "Go ahead." He said and took a seat in his favorite blue chair. He didn't mind the time to himself. On quiet days he generally spent it thinking about Juliet and what she was doing just one floor above him.
Gene left the office and James settled down to watch the monitors. He was tempted to put his feet up on the desk, but resisted the urge. He watched people come and go and scurry down hallways to their destinations until his phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out, hoping it was Juliet, but knowing that was unlikely.
It was Miles. 'We still on for tonight or have you made other plans Romeo?' The text message said.
James wasn't fond of the nickname, but knew he should have expected it considering Juliet's name was, well, Juliet.
He and Miles had plans for pizza and beer once he got off work. He typed out a response. 'Yeah I'll be there.' He sent and a moment later he sent a second message. 'And stop calling me Romeo.' He didn't expect his plea to work, but decided to try anyway. He knew if one of his friend's was dating a woman named Juliet he'd call them Romeo for the rest of their life.
"Romeooo!" Miles greeted him loudly in the bar that night.
The zoo was wonderful for all involved. It was surprisingly not too busy despite the nice day. James and Juliet dutifully followed Julian along the paths to see each animal. The boy was fascinated by each one.
They rode the train and the carousel, watched the zookeepers feed the elephants, and saw a dolphin show. Julian's excitement rubbed off on the adults and they, too, found themselves looking forward to each exhibit.
Julian adored James. When Juliet informed him he needed to hold hands while crossing a street or going through a crowded area the boy reached up and stuck his hand inside James' without a second look at his aunt. The first time James' looked at Juliet, eyes wide with uncertainty. He didn't know what to do with a kid. She laughed and was about to redirect Julian by taking his other hand, but the boy's grip on James' strengthened and he pulled him over to the fence to see the zebras. By the end of the day James' had taken to hoisting Julian onto his shoulders so he could see into large exhibits with far away animals.
Before leaving they stopped a concession stand for a snack. James and Juliet talked while Julian worked on a melting ice cream cone. They were interrupted by an elderly woman stopping in front of them. "Such a darling boy." She said, referring to Julian. "You two have a beautiful family." She smiled and walked away before James or Juliet could say anything.
Then Julian dropped his cone and the incident was forgotten.
After Julian was returned to Rachel, James and Juliet headed for his apartment. They had dinner and made up for all the time they'd had to spend apart lately.
And late that night James laid awake, Juliet sleeping soundly beside him, thinking about the old woman's comment at the zoo. Him. Her. A family? Could that ever be possible? The last time he'd been a part of a real family things hadn't gone well. And he hadn't gotten around to telling her about that yet. He liked to keep his childhood memories to himself and usually whenever someone found out it changed things. He'd start to see the pity in their eyes every time he looked at them. Eventually he'd never see them again. He didn't want that with Juliet, but a part of him felt like he needed to tell her, like she needed to see all of him. She'd shared so much of herself with him and he'd just given her the 'my parents died' speech.
He was at war within himself for a long time that night. Tell her? Don't tell her? Would she be afraid he would snap like his father? That he'd one day he would decide he'd had enough and end things for both of them? Sometimes he wondered how much of that could be genetic, how much of his father was inside of him.
Eventually he made a decision or, rather, he decided he'd let her decide. He told himself if she woke up before he fell asleep he'd tell her right then and there.
Five minutes later she stirred. His heartbeat increased. She turned over to face him and opened her eyes before wrapping an arm around his chest. "Can't sleep?" She asked, very much awake.
He took a deep breath and told her everything.
She told him he must take after his mother because he's nothing like his father. Then, she told him it wasn't his fault.
His breath hitched. It was like she could read his mind. He couldn't see her features clearly in the dark, but the moonlight illuminated enough. He saw her caring gaze marked with sadness from his story. But he saw no pity. He saw no fear. It was at that moment a part of James realized there was a strong chance he loved Juliet Burke.
He pulled her closer to kiss her fiercely before showing her exactly how he felt without having to say a word.
They fell asleep around dawn.