Author's Note: Again, I'm so sorry this has taken so long! The last few months of 2018 were a mess that spilled into the beginning of this year. Some things are starting to look up though and as long as life doesn't throw anything else my way in the near future it shouldn't be too long until the next chapter is up!

Big thanks to two Guests, aggie, and Marla's Lost for recent reviews! You guys are the best!

Disclaimer: Lost is not mine.

Code Silver

Chapter 18

"You have a daughter." Cassidy said holding out the picture.

James crossed his arms over his chest and avoided looking at the photo. "And how do you know it's mine?" He asked knowing it was a low blow, but also hoping with everything he had that what she said wasn't true.

Cassidy rolled her eyes. Typical. She thought. But she was still getting angry. "Just look at her." She demanded and shook the photo at him for emphasis.

James didn't want to look, but he found his eyes trailing downwards from his ex-girlfriend's face and landing on the picture in her hand. His eyes finally met those of a baby girl and he uncrossed his arms to take the picture for closer examination.

Cassidy spoke as he inspected the image, but he wasn't fully paying attention. "It was either you or Craig." She said encouraged by the softening of his features and his taking of the photograph. "And, well, look at her." She chuckled nervously.

She was right. James thought. The child in the picture was unmistakably his daughter. She had his dimples and what little hair she had was the same sandy blond color of his own mixed with her mother's subtle curls. She looked nothing like his ex-partner Craig. James was stunned into silence for a few moments, unsure what to do or say. "What's her name?" He finally asked.

"Clementine." Cassidy replied. "Clem for short."

He tried not to cringe. Clem was fine, but Clementine? Where the hell did she come up with that one?

"She's six months old." Cassidy continued. "That was taken a few weeks ago. I tried to call when I first found out, but you never answered. Then you left."

James just nodded. He wouldn't apologize for not answering the phone or for leaving. She was the one who cheated. "Why tell me at all?" He asked.

She sighed. "I thought you ought to know. I thought you should at least get the chance to be her father."

"You know we ain't gettin' back together, right?" He asked. "This don't change what happened."

Cassidy nodded. "That's not why I'm here." She said. "We're staying with a friend and we'll be here a week. You need to decide if you want to be a part of her life or not." Her eyes turned steely. "But it's all or nothing, Jim. You're either her father or you're not. I won't have you coming in and out of her life as you please." He nodded. "My number's on the back." She said, referring to the picture. "Let me know what you decide."

Then she was gone and he was left standing in his doorway alone. He listened to the elevator doors open and close before going inside the apartment. Julian's movie was still playing, but James didn't even notice. He collapsed on the couch and again looked at the picture of his daughter. His daughter. He wasn't sure that would ever truly sink in. He turned over the photo and sure enough there was a phone number scrawled in a handwriting he'd almost forgotten.

A part of him wanted to forget it ever happened, to go on with his life and pretend Cassidy had never found him. A few years ago he might have been able to do that, but not anymore. He knew he couldn't deny his child even though nothing scared him more. He was slowly learning how to be an uncle and struggled with it more often than he'd like to admit. How could he ever be someone's father?

Juliet once told him he'd make a good dad. He didn't see it, but doubted she would lie about something so serious. Juliet. What did this mean for them? Would she leave him? Would he be less desirable now that he was forever stuck with his ex in his life? And Cassidy – what did she expect of him as a father? Was he supposed to move back to LA? He couldn't do that, not now, not unless Juliet went with him. Was that a possibility?

He rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. Just when he thought he was beginning to get life figured out it threw him a curve-ball. He loved Juliet, that he was absolutely sure of. And he was also sure he couldn't ignore the fact that he'd helped create another human being whether or not it was something he intended to do. Was there any way to have both Juliet and his daughter in his life?

He sat there a while longer imagining the different ways things could play out.

"What did she want?" His imaginary Juliet asked when she got home. She wasn't happy. Once he told her about Cassidy's visit she spent the better part of a half hour berating him on how he could let such a thing happen before storming angrily out the door.

The next scenario started with the same question from a much gentler Juliet and ended with the two of them meeting his daughter together. Cassidy was merely a silent figure in the background.

There was a brief image of the two women wrestling over who would get to have James in their life, but he knew the chances of that actually happening were less than zero.

James' mind then went to what it would be like to have a long distance relationship with Juliet. Spending so much time apart sounded awful, but the idea of calling her up late at night to ask what she was wearing followed by a discussion on what they'd do if they were together sounded very nice. He made a mental note to ask if they could do that without living across the country from each other.

He reeled his dirty mind back in and wondered if having a long distance relationship with their father could be good enough for a kid. He supposed it would surely be better than not having one at all, but would Clementine grow to resent him for his choices if he decided to stay in Miami with Juliet and Miles while his daughter was on the other side of the country?

Possible futures and different scenarios eventually gave way to other thoughts like what would he have named the baby if given a chance. Certainly not Clementine. He hoped she wouldn't get bullied in grade school for the name, though he could see a kid, not unlike himself at that age, making fun of her and coming up with orange related nicknames. No, his choice in names would be more traditional, but not too common. He grew up knowing at least three other kids named James in his school. And maybe Juliet would let the middle name be Mary after his mother if they had a girl.

Wait. What? James shook his head and groaned before leaning back and staring at the ceiling. He didn't even know if he and Juliet would be together this time next week. He should not be thinking of names for their potential future children. Besides, a couple hours ago he wasn't sure he even wanted children. Now, all of the sudden, he's got one and his brain has already moved onto planning the next.

He needed to see Juliet. He needed to talk to her and he needed to know everything was going to be ok. He set the photo down and traded it for his cell phone. The phone's display told him it had been nearly an hour since Juliet left. Shit. He'd only talked to Cass for maybe fifteen minutes, but Juliet wouldn't know that. He hoped she wasn't thinking the worst because it was taking him so long to call. He just needed the time to wrap his mind around the whole thing.

He dialed Juliet and held the phone to his ear. It rang and rang before finally going to voicemail. "Hey, it's me." He said after the beep and then realized he didn't know what else to say. "Um...I was just wondering when you were comin' home." He said after a pause. "I love you." He added and hung up.

He hoped she didn't intentionally miss the call and wondered if she was angry with him because Cass showed up. She didn't seem mad when she left with Julian, but he knew she could cover her emotions well if she wanted.

Juliet should know Cassidy was no competition for her, no one was. They'd had the Cassidy conversation and he thought that was settled. But then he realized Juliet had also believed her jerk of an ex-husband when he said she was the only one. Could she be thinking he was going to be Edmund all over again? James groaned in frustration and stared at his phone, willing it to ring. He ended up pacing the apartment until he heard the door open half an hour later.

Daughter. James has a daughter. Could! James could have a daughter. Juliet couldn't stop thinking about it. Logically she knew there was a chance it wasn't true. Cassidy had been known to lie on occasion, but why lie about something like this? James wasn't rich and Cassidy had been the one to cheat on him. Juliet had a feeling she was telling the truth. James has a daughter out there. But what did that mean for them? For her?

"Aunt Juliet." Julian's yell was finally able to get Juliet's attention. She'd been sitting at a picnic table outside an ice cream shoppe lost in thought and staring at nothing while her nephew devoured a chocolate cone much too big for him. Julian held his hands up so she could see them. "Sticky." He complained. There was chocolate ice cream in varying stages of dryness all over his hands and face. The torn corner of a cheap napkin clung to his right thumb.

Juliet's eyes went wide. The last time she looked he hadn't been anywhere near finishing, but now the entire cone appeared to be gone. "Come on." She said and led him to the bathroom where she helped him clean his face and hands.

Halfway through the cleaning process Juliet's phone rang and Rachel was not happy to hear her plans had been changed. She was finished with her errands was ready to pick up Julian.

"So your nephew gets to see your new place, but your sister doesn't?" Rachel asked after Juliet told her she was out with Julian and there was no need to pick him up because she could take him home.

"You've seen it, Rach." Juliet rolled her eyes.

"You didn't have everything done when I was there." Rachel protested. "There were still boxes in the living room and you hadn't put up the new bookcase yet. Are there still boxes in the living room? Is the bookcase put together?"

Juliet sighed. "No and yes."

"Exactly." The elder sister pointed out. "I have yet to see my baby sister's new home in its finished state and I was looking forward to doing that today. Can't we meet there instead? What are you guys doing anyway? And where's James?"

The questions came faster than Juliet could think and Julian was now creating a bigger mess playing with the water coming from the sink's faucet. "No, we can't and we decided to get a snack." Juliet idly answered her sister's questions, hoping Rachel wouldn't notice she failed to answer the one about James.

"James didn't want a snack?"

No such luck. Her sister didn't miss a thing, especially not when she was looking for answers. She hadn't wanted to tell Rachel about Cassidy's visit until after talking to James and getting all the facts, but she knew Rachel would poke and prod until she was satisfied with the information she was given and really, there was no point in lying. She would tell her eventually anyway. "Remember his ex I told you about? Cassidy?" She ushered Julian out of the bathroom and to the car.

"Yeah." The word was drawn out. Rachel didn't know where this topic was leading, but she had a feeling she wasn't going to like it.

"She showed up." Juliet said as she settled Julian in the backseat.

"She what?!" Rachel screeched.

Juliet pulled the phone from her ear for a few moments of silence as she took her place in the driver's seat. Then she took a deep breath and continued her conversation. "She knocked on the door. I thought it might be you so I answered. I don't know if she's still there. Now, can we please go home and talk about it there?"

"I'm turning around now." Rachel hung up.

Juliet looked at Julian through the rear view mirror. He'd settled down once getting to the car and she was grateful. "Ready to go home, Bud?" She asked. He glanced in her direction and nodded. He was too entranced by the cars and people going past his window to be bothered with anything else.

Juliet started the car and headed for Rachel's. Julian was a chatterbox on the way to the ice cream shoppe. Now his silence was a welcome reprieve. Her thoughts were loud enough. Should she tell Rachel what she heard as she and Julian got on the elevator? Probably not. Not yet. Not before she talked to James.

James. The part of her scarred by Edmund wondered if this would make him want to go back to Cassidy, to be a family for the baby and leave Juliet brokenhearted once again. Just thinking about the possibility churned her stomach. No. She knew James. He wouldn't do that. But she also knew he wouldn't reject his child even though he didn't particularly like its mother anymore. And last she knew Cassidy still lived in L.A. Would James want to move back? Would he ask her to go with him? Would she go if he did? Could she go with him? Once more glance in the rear view mirror answered that question. She knew she could never live so far away from Rachel and Julian. She just recently decided she could live apart from them at all; across the country was a little too much.

Throughout the rest of the ride to Rachel's, Juliet's brain continued to bounce around between her sister and James. How much should she tell Rachel? What did James think about all this? Was he still will Cass?

Finally, she reached her sister's driveway. Rachel had barely beaten them there and was just getting out of her car. Juliet's mind began to slow and focus. Julian ran to his mother excitedly and proudly showed off his dinosaur toy from McDonald's. Rachel was satisfactorily in awe over it and Julian let her lead him inside with Juliet following.

"Spill." Rachel said to her sister once Julian was settled on the couch finishing Toy Story.

Juliet explained what happened earlier as Rachel listened intently. When she finished she looked at her sister expectantly.

"So you're telling me" Rachel started calmly. "that your boyfriend's ex shows up unannounced out of nowhere and you just walked away leaving them alone?! In your own home?!" Her voice grew with each word and she looked at her sister as if she were the dumbest person on the planet.

"Would you rather I stayed have your son witness a screaming match between the two if that's what it came to?" Juliet pointed out angrily.

Rachel took a breath and looked towards Julian in the living room from her position in the kitchen. "No." She admitted. "You really think that's what's happening right now?"

Juliet shrugged. "I don't know. Miles has said they could get pretty heated at times."

"What do you think she wants?"

She shrugged again. "I don't know." She lied.

"What if she wants him back?"

Juliet shook her head. "He wouldn't do that." She was sure he wouldn't want to get back together with Cassidy for any sort of romantic reason. Cassidy hurt him when she cheated and he didn't often show it, but Juliet knew. She only wondered if there was a chance he would try a relationship with Cassidy for the child if she asked, but she couldn't tell Rachel that, not now.

They talked a while longer. Juliet filled Rachel in on the pieces of James' time with Cassidy she didn't already know. By the time Juliet's phone rang Rachel had an even stronger dislike for James' ex and wholeheartedly believed Juliet when she said he wouldn't go back to her. Juliet reached for her ringing phone. She knew it was James. But Rachel stopped her.

"Hey." She said softly. "Whatever happens its gonna be ok." She smiled. "And if you need help kicking her ass let me know." The smile widened into a grin and Juliet laughed.

Juliet nodded. "I'll do that." By the time she tried to answer the call it had already gone to voicemail. She stood and hugged her sister. "I gotta go."

She listened to the message in the car and could hear the nervousness in his voice, but hearing him say "I love you" was reassuring. She decided not to call back. She didn't want to talk about this on the phone and she'd be home soon.

Twenty minutes later she was rethinking that decision. She ran into traffic and it took her longer to reach the apartment building than it should have. She stood nervously in the elevator as it rose. The longer drive gave her more time to think and she was afriad that this would be the end of her relationship with James.

Juliet opened the door and found James frozen in place looking at her. She could tell he'd been pacing and knew he often did so when he was anxious. She set her purse and keys down. "Sorry." She said. "There was traffic coming back from Rachel's."

James nodded. "It's ok." His stiffened body relaxed a little. "She doing ok?"

Juliet nodded and would have laughed at the awkwardness of the moment if it were anyone else. She could tell he was uncomfortable. She was too and she didn't like the strange tension between them. She was fairly certain she knew what he wanted to tell her, but knew he didn't know that she knew. Her head spun thinking about it that way and she found herself closing the distance between them. James took her in his arms willingly.

"Was she telling the truth?" Juliet nearly whispered, her head on his shoulder.

James' brows furrowed. "What?"

Juliet sighed as she unhooked her arms from around his neck and took a step back so she could look at him.

He let her go reluctantly and looked at her in confusion.

"We were still waiting for the elevator when she told you" Juliet explained, but she found it hard to voice the words she needed to say. "Is it true what she said?" She asked and could tell James still wasn't getting it. "Do you have a daughter?" She unconsciously held her breath waiting for his response.

During the drive home Juliet came to the conclusion that a child with Cassidy would not and could not change the way she felt about the man in front of her. It would certainly complicate things, but they could make it work somehow, right? She was just terrified he wouldn't want to work it out.

James' jaw slackened. He'd been so worried about how to tell her he never once thought there was a possibility she could have heard Cass, though he knew she hadn't given him the news quietly. His mind was spinning. She already knew and she still came back?

He finally came to his senses and noticed the worry in her eyes and the way she bit her lower lip in anticipation. He reached out and ran a hand along her arm before taking her hand in his own. He nodded. "Yeah." He said quietly. "I have a daughter."

Neither was sure who started it, whether he pulled her in or she closed the distance between them, but his arms were around her again and her head found its place on his shoulder. Juliet was surprised to find her eyes watery. She knew it would be true. Cassidy had no reason to lie about it. The uncertainty of the future was getting to her and she found herself slightly jealous, another unexpected reaction.

Juliet never said anything to James, but she thought they might have their own baby one day. He was great with Julian as long as he didn't let his mind and his past get the better of him. A few weeks ago she started thinking he could work through it all. He was already so much better. And then maybe he'd decide he wanted a family after all.

She had thought she wanted children with Ed, but now she was so thankful it never happened. With James the feeling was different. She didn't want a child with him because she thought she should or it might make things better. No, she wanted a child with James because she new a child created and raised with him would be beautiful, smart, and probably a smart ass, but perfect in every way and they would always be loved unconditionally by both parents who loved each other and who were meant to be together.

But was this a sign they weren't meant to be together? Was her mother right after all? Maybe just because they loved each other didn't mean they were supposed to be together.

"What happens now?" Juliet asked into his shoulder, afraid of what the answer might be.

"I don't know." He answered honestly. He held her tightly and never wanted to let go, but he pulled back just enough to get her to look up at him. "But I don't want to lose you." He said when their eyes met in a rare moment of vulnerability.

Juliet could have jumped for joy at hearing those words. Instead she said "Then you won't because I don't want to go anywhere." She caught a quick view of a dimpled smile before he pulled her in for a kiss. "I love you." He murmured against her lips.

Her heart soared. "I love you, too." She told him when they finally came up for air, content for the moment knowing at least they were both willing to try to make things work.