I do not own anything besides these words and the cover art.

Nami sat in her small living room as she listened to the shower run. It was strange that another human being was in her apartment because, besides her, the only other guest would be a stray cat from time to time. However, now there was a man, a stupid man but a man nonetheless.

Nami thought about the odd way she went to fetch a towel and how she could not look him in the eye. No, Nami was not scared of Zoro. No, Nami was afraid of what he might find. Yet, as she looked around the empty space, it was devoid of life. It might as well have been a showroom because though Nami lived there, it was not home.

"Oi, witch!" She felt his hot breath in her ear and shivered.

She looked at him and it seemed the steam rose off his still wet body. The small green towel barely wrapped around his torso, so his tan skin shone in all its sleek brilliance. No, Nami was not afraid of him. She was afraid of what she would do to him.

"Ah, Zoro! Put on some clothes." Nami said as she flung her arms up to block his peeking manhood. Not that she tried very hard.

Zoro smirked at first and wanted to tease her for her childlike attitude now, but he focused since it was not in his nature to roam a stranger's apartment barely covered.

"I would if you told me where they were."

Nami looked around bewildered and then sighed, "Shoot! I had tossed it in the washing machine downstairs. It reeked."

Zoro scowled, "And now I don't have clothes…"

Nami shrugged, "So? Just borrow some of mine until we get some at the store."

Zoro stared at her wide-eyed. "Borrow your clothes? Nami, you are a freaking tiny ass woman. How would I possibly fit your clothes?"

Nami stood up annoyed, "I have an amazing ass FYI. And I do own sweats!"

"I'm sure! With 'juicy' written all along your backside, right?"

It was Nami's turn to smirk, "I'm glad you noticed!"

Zoro went for her but Nami dodged. He collided with the coffee table and yelped as a knock banged at the door. Nami sprang for it and shouted behind her, "Serves you right, ass!"

As she swept the door open, a skinny, tall man peered down at her through his tinted shades. He wore a crumpled suit that looked slept in, but he had a little sleeping cap on top his giant afro.

"Ah, Miss Nami! As lovely as always, but I would appreciate if you kept it down. A musician's nights are for play, so it seems my mornings are for sleep."

He glanced behind her and blushed.

"Oh, I'm sorry, Miss Nami. I didn't know you were entertaining, as well."

Nami had forgotten the man behind her, as she kept a low profile and any encounters with the neighbors made her work a bit more annoying. Especially if that neighbor happened to be a musician, who kept odds hours and took notice of Nami's comings and goings. She looked behind her and another annoyance stared back at her in all his half-naked glory.

"Yo," Zoro said with a wave as if this was something he did every day. However, with his wave up to the man at the door, down came his tiny towel.

"Oops!" Zoro leaned down to pick it up, anyone else would have thought it an innocent mistake, but Nami knew better, and Zoro's leer gave proof to her thoughts.

"Oh, my!" was all the man at the door had to say, hands at his lips.

Nami began, "Damn it, Zoro! Put on some pants!"

"I need underwear first! Or are you going to let me borrow those, too?"

Nami looked like an orange haired tomato but Zoro could not have cared less, if not for the pink in his own ears that gave away his embarrassment.

"Ah, Miss Nami. If you're giving out panties, may I-"

Nami slammed the door swiftly as she shouted, "Goodbye, Brook! You filthy pervert!"

From the other side, Nami heard his iconic laughter and a quiet, "How romantic."

Nami reinforced her rage as she turned to the true culprit. She pinched his cheeks until they were red and sore.

"What. The. Hell. Do. You. Think. You. Are. Doing. Ass. Hole."

Zoro spoke as she shook and prodded him, "I. Still. Need. Clothes. Witch."

Nami released her grip, and as Zoro rubbed his agitated skin, he found an opportunity to chuckle.

"Or would you prefer me this way?"

Nami stuck her nose in the air and rolled her eyes.

"Oh, please. As if you're the first naked man I've encountered."

Zoro felt a bit pricked at the thought but decided to change the subject, "Did that weirdo ask for your underwear?"

Nami busied herself with her drawers, in search for something for Zoro.

"Yeah, he's a harmless old guy. Has an obsession with ladies underwear, but his music is pretty amazing actually."

"You've heard him play?" Zoro said as he caught the light pink sweats Nami tossed him.

As Zoro looked at it with disgust, Nami giggled.

"Ah, no. Only heard him practice. I don't go out much."

Zoro watched her watch him struggle to fit into her soft and stretchy apparel.

"So what do you do all day that lets you afford all this, huh?"

Nami crossed her arms and looked at him with cold eyes.

"Why do you ask?"

Zoro zipped up the hoodie over his bare chest and stood with a hand on his hip.

"No reason. I just don't know anything about you."

Nami's firm tight lips did not curve up or down to give Zoro an idea of what she was thinking. Instead, she approached him and spoke softly, "All you need to know is that you are going to be the world's greatest fighter and I'm going to make tons of money off you."

Zoro crossed his arms, "Alright, alright. Forget I asked."

Nevertheless, Zoro held onto his thoughts while Nami stepped back and started laughing. Zoro blushed fiercely as he recognized that Nami was laughing at him.

"Oh, Zoro! You look like a bigger ass than before!"

Zoro mumbled, "This is all your fault."

"Oh, wow! I needed that."

She wiped a tear and held in her stomach, still trying to control her enjoyment.

Zoro fumed, "Okay, let's go already!"

Nami let him lead and giggled to herself as she watched "Juicy" jiggle before her. As he left, he ignored the clearly marked exit sign and moved in the opposite direction.

Nami chased after him and with a firm grip on his hand, she led them out. Nami swore she heard another "how romantic" echo in the hallway.

Music Inspiration/Theme: "Booty Man" (Cheek Freaks Remix)