~A/N Thanks for your patience, dear readers. This chapter has been on my mind for a long time. It's not an easy one to tell even though it's fiction. This story is a challenge I set for myself. If I'm being completely honest, it is so much more than a supernatural fic. That is not the true heart of this emotional tale.

Forget everything you knew about Edward from the books, I wrote something entirely different. Stephenie intended to romanticize a relationship with a monster. I wrote something real instead.

*** So here we go. Please be advised this chapter comes with a warning. This is Bella's story about her honeymoon. ***

Chapter 10

Jacob lifted his eyelids slowly to find Bella watching him sleep. She was barely a centimeter from his face. Neither spoke. He didn't move because he didn't want to scare her away. There was something in her expression he hadn't seen in a long time. She had emotion not blatant, but definitely not a blank slate.

Bella broke the silence. "Do you really want to know?"

Jacob swallowed. Did he? Yes and no, but if she was in a talking mood, he had to listen. It could be a major breakthrough. "Yes, I think you should tell me more, but only what you feel comfortable saying. We don't have to talk about everything at once."

"I didn't ask for it. I said no from the beginning and even though ultimately this is all my fault, I need you to know that much."

Jacob had been conflicted every moment since the wedding, but hearing that confession was a total mindfuck. He didn't even know how to process her confession. He knew deep down she didn't ask to be brutalized, tortured and raped by a vampire, but one part of him wondered if Bella started things out like a normal honeymoon. She insisted at the reception that was the case.

He tried to prepare himself in case she ever confided in him, but nothing prepared him for what was to come. Bella explained leaving the reception and a subsequent twinge of guilt made her sick to her stomach.

"I heard you, I mean, your wolf. His cries filled the silence of the car and both of us pretended not to hear. It was easier not to acknowledge it. I saw your face, the way you smiled the first second of our reunion not after you got angry with me. I replayed Dad's somber goodbye and pictured Mom's enthusiastic well wishes. She thought we would embark on a new stage of our relationship. Nothing could be further from the truth, but I was confident in my decisions. This was Edward. I could never love anyone like I loved him. We made those promises at the altar. They meant more than anyone else's disappointment."

Ouch. That hurt more than he thought it would. He'd heard similar sentiments, but her words sunk in. None of them mattered like the leech.

Jacob and Bella sat up in the bed, but didn't leave the bedroom. He didn't want any distraction that might cause her to retreat into her own mind or the truth might never come out. Minutes ticked by, but they didn't move. Bella kept talking. Jacob kept listening. She'd quit if it was too much.

Bella skipped ahead to the plane ride. The honeymoon location was unknown to her from the start until they ended up on a private island in a remote area of Brazil. Bella claimed to be exhausted and most of the journey was spent in restless sleep because her mind needed a break.

"He opened the suitcases. I hadn't packed my own bags. Alice did it for me which was so like her. The contents were so unlike me, but I wasn't surprised. I asked for a human moment and took one bag into the bathroom. Eventually, I realized I was stalling with a long bath and unnecessary primping. He didn't care about such things and neither did I. Was it nerves? I don't know. Maybe. Perhaps, it was my previously dormant instincts. My ill feelings didn't subside, so I considered what to say to Edward. He was always on the cautious side, so he'd understand I needed another night to myself. I was the one that pressed the physical side of our relationship, so I felt like I had total control of the situation."

Bella quietened. He waited for her to break the pause, but she slipped into that dark place a few minutes, the place she stayed. She was reluctant to bring him into the darkness, but Jacob didn't need her protection. She needed his.

"Bells." Jacob wanted to touch her, but she couldn't handle his touch. She'd pull away. Touching her used to be so natural. It was practically forbidden now unless they were sleeping.

"I bled."

"Huh? When?"

"I have no idea what happened. The beginning is a blur, but I touched the bed and then my finger was bleeding. It was a spot. I'd bled worse in front of him when Victoria arrived. He said he had control. He lied. Edward lied from the start or maybe not. He said he wanted to kill me. He said he was dangerous. But I didn't listen because he wouldn't hurt me. That was how I always justified our relationship. I truly believed he'd never hurt me. I was an idiot. Love is blind, right? I was blind until I saw him taste my blood. He grasped my finger and brought it between his cool lips. The veil lifted and I was face to face with a monster, Jake. He was so scary. I have to know, is that what you've always seen?"

Jacob cleared his throat in an attempt to push his raging emotions down once more. Still. After all these weeks, Bella was petrified. Her voice trembled, her heart raced and her eyes spilled tears.

He nodded slightly and listened.

Jacob's senses allowed him to hear and sense everything. Even without the supernatural attributes, he felt too much. He felt her anguish and her pain. Jacob knew Bells so well, it was like they both were there the night the monster came forward.

"Do you need to stop? It's okay, Bells. I said you need to let it out, but only if it helps. If this is making it worse for you, don't say anymore today. There's no rush. I get it. Well, not really, but I know he's a fucking bloodsucking demon. I always knew, but even I can admit, I never thought he'd willfully hurt you. Not like this. I don't even know what I thought." His head fell forward. "I should have protected you."

"I wouldn't let you. You tried. And no, I'm not stopping. I have to keep going or I'll never tell you this... ever. Maybe if I say it, I can begin to stop reliving it. I thought I could bring him back to normal. His eyes were black, his facial features morphed into some disfigured human, like the beauty melted away and the true layer was exposed. I can't explain it in words. Edward always glowed to me like a god of sorts. On that night, he was ugly, hideous even. The thirst transformed him. I snatched my hand away and told him to stop, to leave me and head to the jungle. He needed to hunt. Instead, I was the prey."

"He shoved me to the bed and told me never to pull away from him again. I was his wife, I promised myself to him and him alone. The other things we said to each other aren't important. I screamed at him hoping to snap him out of it, but he seemed to get off on it. He liked that I was angry and frightened of him."

Fuck. That motherfucker belonged in Hell and Jacob was exactly the one to send him there. He wanted to tell her to stop again, not for her sake, for his. She was just getting started and it was already too much. Deep down, he knew terrible things happened to her considering her physical and mental state, but hearing it from her lips made it far too real.

"Are you still with me, Jake?"

He nodded again.

"Edward tore off the expensive lingerie. Can you believe I was confident he wouldn't go there with me? He wasn't like that or like any normal teenage boys with sex on the brain 24/7. I was more concerned about his need to hunt not that I was about to be sexually assaulted, but then I was stripped. He'd never seen me fully naked. He didn't even look at me, Jake. Edward is not a man. That was the first moment that fact actually came to me. I married a non-human. It wasn't sex. Pain. God, you have no idea how much it hurt. Even now, saying it makes me feel dizzy. He split me in two. I'll never be whole again. That was the start of my worst imaginable torture and the reason I want to die. Who would want to live as half a person? Half is being generous because I'm less."

Jacob touched her hand and she scooted further away. "Please don't touch me."

"I'm sorry, but Bells you're not less than half a person. You're still you inside. It's going to take time to heal. I'm not giving up. I think I've proven that."

"You have proven lots to me, especially that I'm not worthy of a man like you." Her hand hung in the air between them like she wished to touch his cheek, but couldn't bring herself to do it. "The boy I first knew is long gone. You're a man because of all this, but there's naivety in your eyes and your hope is foolish." She dropped her hand to lift her long-sleeve Henley. Bells kept covered around him. She wore a fitted dark blue tank top underneath. He could see most of the bites. Bella kept them hidden, but today she wanted him to see. His eyes fell to the mattress. "You hate looking at them... at me."

"I... I... they're scars, honey. No, that's not true, I don't hate looking at you." He didn't hate it, but seeing the scars hurt so fucking much and she knew. There was no way to hide that. "They don't define you or change who you are on the inside."

"Wrong. These change everything. They are here as a permanent reminder. He'll always be with us. If you touch me, you'll touch what he did. That's inevitable. You'll be tortured by it. If by some miracle I could ever accept human contact or intimacy from you, Edward would be in between us. Our skin could never fuse together without this part of him being in the middle. You deserve a whole woman. I still think Leah might..." Her voice trailed off.

"Leah is my friend. She's pack."

"Your im..."

"Don't you dare. That doesn't exist for me. You're wrong. I can erase him. The leech will only come between us if you let him."

"Do you want to know why he bit me the first time?"

"Because he's a sick fuck that thought you wanted to change to be just like him."

"Maybe, but while he thrust into me with unrelenting force, I made feeble attempts to push him off. I told him he was hurting me, begged him to stop. I felt the blood pouring between my legs. Something was wrong. It wasn't normal by any means. Edward was more enraged than ever. He growled he was giving me what I'd always begged for. He hurt me worse, wanted to know why I changed my mind. Was I still hung up on the teenage wolf back home? Jacob Black. Your name forced me to remember you. I didn't want to, not at that moment. It was the worst time to see your face, but I did and as my body suffered, my heart shattered into a million fragments. You were my best friend and I knew without a doubt, you would have loved and cherished me. We would have had a beautiful life together, Jake. Edward was raping me, killing me and I could still see a glimpse of us. Happy."

"Don't say it like that, like it can never be real. We can be happy again. Time and love has a way of healing. You think you're not getting better, but there's been subtle changes. I didn't sleep a wink for days, knowing you'd kill yourself the minute I shut my eyes. Now, the nights are safe for both of us. Don't let him keep stealing from you, we can have that life one day."

"No. That fantasy doesn't exist. It was my first peek into Hell. I had multiple opportunities to take your hand, walk away from Edward, and make that life come true. When I pulled away at the reception, I lost it. Forever."

"Bullshit. When I found you breathing again, we got it back."

"He pressed my arms into the mattress over my head when he finished. My arms cracked next to my ears. I couldn't fight back any longer. It never made a difference, anyway. I'm sure I passed out. I was dying. When I regained consciousness, I begged for death, but it didn't happen. The bed was covered in my blood. I had internal injuries, broken arms and an eviscerated soul. Edward changed again. He panicked. He sounded remorseful. If vampires cried, maybe that's how I imagined it would sound. He kept saying my name and apologizing. 'It wasn't me, Love.' It was him. I'll never forget his face hovering over me. I still see it, every single day. I see him."

"He bit me hard." Bella touched the mark where her neck met her shoulder. "The burn ignited my flesh and blood. This was it. I'd change. Only, it wouldn't be like we planned. We would never live happily-ever-after like the fairytale I concocted. I already contemplated Edward's demise. I'd come back stronger than him and ending him was first on the agenda. But the burn ceased. As quick as it consumed me, it disappeared even faster. Gone, like it never happened. Edward grimaced. 'That's impossible.' Then came the next bite and the exact same experience. I lost count that first night. I hovered between life and death, but never close to the transformation. The last words I remembered from our first tortuous night were, 'what are you?' Don't you wonder that as well, Jake? What the hell am I? I shouldn't exist."

"Of course you should exist, Bells. You're Charlie and Renee's daughter, my best friend and you're a human. You're beautiful and I love you."

"You want to know the rest, don't you?"

"I think I know all I need to know. Stop blaming yourself and putting yourself down. You are by far the strongest woman I will ever know. I despise this happened to you, but I'm overjoyed you're a survivor. I will not stop saying this. We will get through this. I'm not going anywhere."

"He couldn't resist. He tasted my blood again the next morning and it started over, the whole process: pain, rape, blood and bites. The remorse followed each and every time. His apologies and excuses only made it worse. Finally, he gave in. If he couldn't kill or change me, he had to consult Carlisle. I overheard him on the phone. I had a chance of rescue. Of course, by rescue, I meant Carlisle finding a way to put me out of my misery. I knew there was no chance of recovery. He should have medicine, life-ending medication since Edward's methods failed."

"I think I know this part. Dr. Death didn't help you. He constructed a cover-up to protect his son. He made these creatures for reasons unknown. He claims it was mercy to cheat death, but he gave them fates worse than death. He deserves the same as the leech and the little witch, too. She knew. She saw it all."

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but you're right. I thought Carlisle was good. He was the reason I was convinced vampires still had souls. I made the mistake to use my last bit of energy to tell Edward, 'wait until I tell Carlisle the truth.' He grabbed me by the throat, said Carlisle would fix me, and I didn't need to confuse him with my delusions. He choked me so hard, I felt a tear inside my throat. There'd be no way to form words for a long time, but when Carlisle arrived, I spoke to him with my eyes. He knew, Jake. There's no way he didn't know what had happened. He looked at Edward's blood-red eyes and made him leave. He said Esme and Rosalie can never know, told him to hunt in the jungles until the problem was corrected. I was a problem, no longer a human being to them. I guess that's one thing we agreed on those days Carlisle tried his best to piece my broken body back together. At least my mind was strong enough to put myself into a coma. That was the closest I could get to death and there was some peace there- for a little while."

Jacob took a deep breath. Their eyes connected. Even though their bodies couldn't touch, he could touch her soul. He pushed off the bed and stumbled.

"Careful, Jake. Where's Leah? Never mind, I feel stronger. I'll go get you some juice."

"Stay, Bells."

He gained his balance and turned toward the door. He took two slow steps. "Come back to bed."

"I can't."

"Where are you going?"

"You know where."

"NO! Not today. You heard Sue. It can't be today."

"It has to be. This ends now. You had to know when you told me, I couldn't wait any longer. Don't fucking tell me you're begging for their lives."

"I'm not. I'm begging for yours. You're weak, Jake."

"I'm coming around. The wolf will take over. I'll be fine."

"Jacob, it's been weeks, what's another day?"

"It's another day you stare at the windows or door worried that he will bust inside to take you. Don't think I haven't known what your nightmares are about. You aren't only reliving what happened, you're preparing yourself that it could happen again. After today, you'll never worry about that again."

"He could kill you. We have no idea what they're planning over there. He reads your mind. Stop this. Call Sam. Bring him over. I'll tell them all at once. I'll tell the truth this time and they'll help."

"No. This is my kill. No one needs to help me protect you."

Bella screamed in hopes of alerting Leah. Seth was still in school, but Leah was nearby. She swung open the cabin door seconds later. "Stay with her. I mean it, Leah. Don't take your eyes off Bella no matter what until I get back. I will be back, Bells. That's a promise."

Bella wailed louder and her pleas ripped him to shreds because he couldn't stay with her. She needed him with her for comfort after that emotional confession, but Edward's punishment overrode his need to comfort her. Leah would obey him, she hadn't questioned the order. Jacob left them and let the wolf take over. He stumbled at first, but strength and determination took hold. No one was in his head, so he could focus. It was possible Sam's pack would find out and join in. He had to get to him first. They could take down the others, but Jacob had to face Edward alone like Bella had. This time would be so different for the bloodsucker. He was a formidable opponent unlike a fragile human girl. Jacob wouldn't be a victim. He replayed Bella's confession through his mind to fuel the rage that had been put off because of her urgent needs, 'split me in two, bit me hard, blood pouring...'

He arrived at an empty Cullen residence. The wolf sniffed the air. They were all there recently. He scented his brothers. The packs split, but they were still one family. Jacob imagined the Cullens went hunting and whoever was on patrol had followed. The vamps would be fueled by fresh blood, but Jacob hardly worried. If he was right, his gut told him it wouldn't be seven against one. He had allies because of Rose. He wasn't sure how many would turn against their leader, but he hoped at least three.

An approaching stench alerted him. One was returning, not the one he wanted the most.

"Jacob Black. I'm surprised to see you here. Is it Bella?"

Jacob shifted human, so he could speak his mind. He stood tall and stoic ignoring his own nudity. The bad blood between them was evident. "Yes, it's always been about her. I wanted Edward."

"Well, I'm not sure that's a good idea. Let me call Sam. Perhaps we can have a meeting."

"I'm not in the meeting mood, you sick fuck. I said I wanted Edward, but guess what? You're a good place to start since this all began because of you!" Carlisle had little time to react at the wolf's reemergence. He attacked without hesitation. Dr. Fang begged for mercy before fighting back. It was no use. The wolf had pent up anger against these abominations since the beginning. The war was on. Jacob was breaking all the rules of combat. He acted alone. The treaty of his ancestors was ripped into shreds with every mutilation he implemented on the doctor leech.

Bella, Bella, Bella consumed him like always. She might never forget what happened, but he swore to her, she'd never have to be afraid again and he wasn't about to start lying to her. Jacob always told Bells the truth. He promised to come back to her and he would. He'd come back the victor. It wouldn't miraculously heal her, but it'd be the first step to that life he assured her they still deserved. Bella and Jacob would get their future. It wasn't just a glimpse, it was real.

~Thanks for reading.

Share your thoughts and feelings. I always appreciate them. I might have to day drink after this update.