Bonus Chapter: Severus is losing his mind

A/N: this is the bonus chapter that was asked for! It's not going to be super long. But I really wanted to share some of Severus' feelings on things before the end. Enjoy!

Spending the last two hours working on these written reports have begun to wear on Severus. He let out another loud groan as sat up straight and releasing the pressure in his spine, with a chain of loud pops. He let out a little sigh and then rolled his head around his shoulders to relieve the tension. If it wasn't for the detention with his insufferable know it all he would have turned in long ago. Then he mentally slapped himself for wanting to possess the girl. His mind was not a safe haven for himself since he foolishly kissed her and heard her admission of feelings for him. It was the first time a witch expressed any affection for him that wasn't tainted with their own agenda. But to be honest he never sought clingy witches either. But hearing the pretty little witch say he was the object of her subconscious desires was quite a boost to his ego.

Admittedly he had himself experienced some of the effects of the potion fumes. He figured those imprinted images were due to the amount of time he had been exposed to the girl. He had to admit it was nice to have her in the next room. Her silent consonance for the art of potion making was refreshing to the many dunderheads that waltzed into his classroom on the daily. And if it weren't for his ability to compartmentalize his mind, he too would have become overcome like the girl. But there were moments when he was sitting in his chambers, lonely that he recalled those feelings and enjoy whatever his over imaginative mind would come up with. Sometimes it was just them enjoying being in each other's company with innocent embraces. And sometimes his lecherous mind would run away from him, those nights were more pleasant then he was willing to admit, but also lead to freezing showers and self pleasure to relieve himself. Then the inevitable guilt would eat at him. He was old enough to be her father and despite the fact that she was interested in him herself. He couldn't help thinking that the whole thing wasn't real, seeing as she was obviously not in her right mind, due to the prolonged exposure to the love potions.

He was beyond tired of grading. He got up, he had some time before supper. He went into the lab, wondered if he had time brew and clean up the space tonight before the girl came. Deciding he didn't. He noticed her notes for the potions were left on the workspace. He could have enough time to brew the base for the remaining potions. He was impressed with her attention to detail. It was promising should they both survive the conflict and he wasn't a pariah to take her under his wing. To mold her into an impressive potion's mistress. He began prepping the base ingredients and his mind wandered as it usually did and lead to thoughts of an inappropriate nature.

Once he had finished the base and left it on stasis for her. He turned and exited the lab and his office to go to dinner. The entire time he tried his best to not look her way. But he couldn't help it, she was mindlessly eating while reading, possibly studying. He was always impressed by her ability to block out all her surroundings as she imbibed in her reading. It was something he knew they had in common. His was well honed to keep out the annoying prattling of his colleagues at meal times. Hers was to escape the insanity of her peers who he felt were mentally younger than herself. He sighed to himself. If his thoughts were going to continue to wander like this. It was going to be a long evening with her. He finished his meal and went back to his quarters. For some reason he found himself removing his teaching robes, washing up and brushing his teeth. Despite feeling ridiculous he then returned to his office and went back to grading. It wasn't long before the tedium of it began to set in and even less time for her to show up. He had only grumbled for her to enter. His headaches were getting worst, he knew he would have to entertain reading glasses. But for some weird reason, he was vainly against it. Maybe it was because he felt it admitted to himself that he was getting old. And a small part of him wondered what she would think of him with glasses. While he was pondering this she had placed the vial of headache reliever on his desk. He wondered how long it been since she had done so. Then he became slight insecure that she could see how turned out he was to provide the potion without him asking. He threw it back and felt it's relief. Lamenting he would need to break down and get glasses. It was becoming too painful.

He then guided her into the lab. He could feel her exuberant response to his simple gesture. He had prepared himself for her to throw herself at him. He knew that the contact would be hard to resist. He threw up his Occlumency walls to protect himself. But was surprised to see her resist but could almost feel her appreciation radiate off her small form. After a brief discussion over her game plan for remaining potions, he returned to his desk and finishing his much despised grading.

After an hour more of torture he could take no more. But he couldn't kick Granger out so he groaned painfully then got up noisily to alert her of his movements. And then he found himself entering the lab and for the second time today took up ingredients prep, beside the girl. He did the best he could not let his mind wander as it had before. But he could smell her scent mixed with the smell of the potion lab. It was intoxicating. He could feel a pull to her and wondered again if this was artificial due to the potions. But he allowed himself to enjoy the comfortable company and mindless work.

Soon they were done, the last 4 potions completed. He surprisingly felt a feeling of loss at the thought that their nights together would be over soon. He watched as Granger began to clean up. It always amazed him that no matter how long she has been in the magical world that she continued to do things the muggle way. He wasn't trying to observe her too much for both their safety and that was where he made the mistake. Had he been more attentive, he would have seen her become distracted and would have retrieved the jar from her hands. Instead his attention only returned to her when the loud jarring sound of glass crashing to the stone floor rung out in the small room. Then before he could get to her and the mess he watched as she stupidly reached for the shards with her bare hands. He heard her curse and he was quickly to his knees near her to assess her injuries. He gently took her hand into his. And felt a jolt of pain from her reaction of him cleaning her wounds.

Once he wiped away the blood, he saw the surface scratches on her fingers. Those were easy. But the one on her delicate palm was deeper and still weeping. He noticed her flinch at the idea of the dittany. And while he sympathized with her, dittany was painful but necessary. He tried to comfort her and finish tending to her. His heart lurched when she silently screamed as the essence began to fizzle on her skin. His instincts were screaming at him to pull her to his body, to comfort. Then he took a moment to look into her face only to see if she was composed. But then her doe eyes made contact with his. The connection was stronger then him casting Legilimency. He could feel their shared desire to touch, to kiss, to be together. He was too close to losing his control, like before. His mind and body felt like they were on fire and she was cooling spring and he just knew if he touched her it would quell the sensation. Then he noticed her tongue graze over her full bottom lip, enticingly. With the greatest of restraint he pulled himself away. He needed her gone, if she stayed it would be too late. He wouldn't be able to stop it. And he would hate himself for taking advantage of her.

He worked quickly. Grabbing her belongs and summoning a elf to whisk her away. Once she was gone, he let out a shuttered sigh of relief. Or was it longing? He sealed off his office and lab and ran back into his chambers. His mind and body still consumed with the fire of arousal, that he ran to his bathroom and tried to relieve himself with the frigid water. A part of him contemplated diving head first into the lake. But thought that would be noticed. He scrubbed at his skin furiously until it was pink and raw. He couldn't stop thinking about it and what would have happened if he had allowed himself to indulge. He had no other choice but to shamefully relieve himself.

"Possible Albus was right about this course of punishment. The girl will be the death of me."