Long time no write fanfiction, dearies, but here it is!

Chapter 25

Jacob groaned into the pillow with his third release inside his Bells. He swore this gift of erection turnaround could have him going all night, but Bella needed a break. He was worried she wouldn't be able to walk by morning. Of course, he'd relish keeping her in bed and taking care of her, but he worried he'd already pushed her too hard.

Her sweaty body wrapped around his when she settled at his side. He noticed they needed to remake the bed before going to sleep since Bella was a stickler for the tuck-in. All the covers were slipping off at their feet. Bella made a sweet sigh against his chest.

"You're pretty good at that. Almost makes me wonder if you've been practicing?"

Jacob snorted, "Yeah, right. I've been practicing on my hand several times a day to make sure I behave around you. That's all the practice I've gotten for years, and you know it, Bells."

"I guess, but I meant before when I treated you like shit. You could have been doing whatever you wanted, banging all the bitches on the rez."

He laughed at her, "Banging bitches? Are you for real? You know damn well when we reconnected, I was going through my awkward phase and my balls had just dropped. Once you were back, I could never look at anyone else. How many times have I said that, honey?"

"Lots. It's just you're really good at sex."

He tickled her side, "Pack mind, baby." There was still so much to show her, things they could experience together, but she was correct. This was a special first time not exactly normal. Jacob added the truth as he saw it, "Also, you and I are really good together. Period. So, erase all traces of insecure Bella. You don't need her anymore."

Bella stretched her neck to place a hot kiss on his lips. "Sorry, that was the last time. I just locked her up for good." Bells traced her fingertips across his chest. Jacob reigned in the beast. He meant it. She was done for the night, maybe even a couple of days. She kissed close to his nipple. Dammit. He was sure she did that on purpose.

Bella giggled, "I did, and I know what you're thinking. Your thoughts have been completely open to me all night."

"Oh yeah, sorry if they were too dirty."

"No, they were just right. I love your passion, but I definitely need a breather. Even though it's the middle of the night, I think I'll soak in a bath, relax, and clean up. Then maybe just maybe I'll be up for some more loving tomorrow afternoon."

The phrase cleanup stuck with him. In fact, it hit him like a large rock to the skull. Jacob yelled, "Shit, shit, shit! Bella. I didn't. I mean, we just went at it over and over. What the fuck? I wasn't thinking. Hurry up, get in the tub. I'll make the water extra hot. Maybe that'll undo all my stupidity."

She busted out laughing at him which didn't make sense because this was serious business. He loved Bells with all that he was, but they were just now on the path to full recovery. They did not need a kid.

"You're hilarious. It doesn't work that way. Besides, do you think I'm an idiot?"

"No, but I might be."

"I thought you knew."

"Knew what?"

"Sue gives all the pack girls a shot every three months. It's non-negotiable. Believe me, I tried to not be included because it didn't make any sense to give me one all those months when I could barely even accept a hug."

"Thank God for Sue. So, we're safe?"

Bella's demeanor changed, "Yeah, safe. No worries." She scooted away from him to leave the bed, and he instantly missed her, "I'm going to get that bath now. You don't have to stay awake."

Jacob stayed wide awake the entire forty-five minutes Bella was in the bathroom. Something was bothering her. First, they were exploring their sexuality together, then they were having a little pillow talk, and then in an instant Bella reverted into one of her moods. He worried it was either something he did or said.

She climbed into bed and fussed, "I told you to sleep."

"I wasn't sleepy."

"Liar. It's four in the morning."

"Bells, honey, what's wrong? Tell me if you're hurting? I can get you some aspirin or something."

"No, I took Ibuprofen already, but I'm not hurting. It's preventative."

"Okay, did I say something stupid? It's a habit. You know I didn't mean it, whatever it was."

"Jacob, I don't want to ruin our perfect night."

"That will only happen if you're not honest with me. Something's bothering you."

Bella took a few minutes before she opened up. Then she confused him even more, "There's more than one reason I don't need the birth control." She closed her eyes a few seconds and took a deep breath. "I wasn't sure when I'd be ready for this conversation and I'm still not even though it's time."

"Okay. What are the reasons? Why are you acting so different?"

"The scars, Jake."

He'd only left one scar on her and that was James's bite on her wrist because Bella insisted on keeping it as a reminder, but he healed the rest with his wolf blood. He rubbed her wrist, "I can still get rid of it."

She squeezed his fingers, "No, not this. The scars I'm talking about aren't as simple to heal. There was a lot of internal damage. I know you don't like to hear about it, but you can probably imagine the things that happened."

"Bella. Tell me right now! Did the sex hurt? Because I swear, I will not be responsible for hurting you. We will figure out other ways to express our love. Hell, we already do."

"No, baby. Our lovemaking was honestly amazing. I'm in shock how good it felt, but I'm convinced there's some irreparable damage to my reproductive organs. It's not all in my head either. Sue agrees it's a possibility and there's a chance I might have trouble having children one day. Truth is even though I might have been delirious, I heard Rosalie ask Carlisle, and he said the same thing. The scar tissue most likely sealed my childless fate. I should have told you already because I know how bad you want them."

They'd never even discussed children before. He wasn't sure where she got that idea from. Before Jacob could open his mouth to protest, Bella stopped him.

"Just because I know. Don't deny it. You're the family type. The whole pack is that way. It's in your nature."

"Bells, we're not even old enough to buy booze. We don't have to worry about this now. Do you even want kids? I mean, not long ago, you were..."

"Willingly ready to die without experiencing all there was to life? I know, Jacob. And I admit I'm not the type of person that ever dwelt on the future. But I think about it a lot now because of the life I've made with you. I want to see you hold your child, teach him or her all the things bring you joy, see all that love reflected in your eyes."

"Then we'll have it. Whatever it takes, we'll make it work when the time is right so don't worry another minute."

Bella took a deep breath. "I'm not saying it would be easy, but if you have to have one with someone else, I'll love the child as my own because I love you that much."

"Someone else? Jesus, Bells. Stop. You and I will have our own child either the natural way or with a doctor's help or we'll adopt, but I'm not entertaining that suggestion even for a second. You said insecure Bells was gone. What the hell is going on?"

"This is practical Bella. I want you to know where everything stands before you make a formal commitment to me. It's only fair. You were destined to have a legacy."

Jacob moved closer, so he could hold Bella's face in his hands while he recited the truth to her, "The commitment has already been made. The day I strolled past the Cullen's place and smelled your scent again and knew you didn't go through with it, I pledged myself to you for life. I didn't know what had happened or what our future looked like, but I knew we'd spend it together. When you screamed to die, I believed you wanted to live and that somewhere inside you, there was enough love for me, so you'd pull through. We don't need a formal paper from the county or words from a holy man to validate our commitment. I'd like those things one day but make no mistake my commitment to you can't be undone. I'm yours and you're mine."

No more words were said after his heartfelt declaration. Bella nodded then clung to Jacob like he was her lifeline. Maybe he was, but she was also his. She comforted enough by his promises to rest and stop worrying. It wasn't much longer before the couple soon drifted off to sleep. His declarations calmed her fears for now. One day the subject would come up again. That was how Bella was, but Jacob was used to it. He enjoyed vivid dreams with her the rest of the night. Once the light poured into their room, Jake expected to roll over to start some real-life indulgences since his sleepy thoughts had already convinced his body to be ready.

As soon as one eye opened, panic hit him. Jacob was squeezing Bella's pillow not her warm body. One deep sniff proved his worst nightmare came true. She was gone not just in the other room. Bella left him.

Jacob jumped out of bed and ran for the front door. "Fuck!" The car was there which caused even more worry. If the car was missing, she might have run out for groceries or a breakfast surprise. He talked himself down. Bella liked the sun. She took walks. Spring was in full bloom. That's probably all it was.

Then again, if she spent any more time overthinking the night before, this disappearance could mean something else. Bella didn't leave a note, but her scent was easy to follow. A few minutes into the search he realized where she was headed. The fucking cliffs. Why Bells? That was not a place she ever walked to, but she knew the way because she'd asked him once where every path led away from the cabin. He thought the worst even though they'd shared an almost perfect night together. This is what she'd done for months. Bells would get better and then have a huge setback. The wolf ran harder; the man searched for her thoughts the closer he got to the cliffs.

He saw her, arms extended, head thrown back, and wind whipping her hair in all directions. She wasn't paying attention, so he rushed in from the side to tackle her to the ground.

Bella gasped, "Jake! You scared me to death. I thought a vampire was coming for me."

"No, there's something way more threatening than any damn leech in this place."

She gasped, "What?"

"Your fucking mind, Bells. It's my favorite but also scares the hell out of me. Are you nuts thinking about jumping again?"

Her head moved side to side, "I wasn't. I mean, I want to, but I was waiting for you. I knew you'd meet me once you woke up." Jacob sat up and buried his head in his hands. He felt like crying like a fucking baby he'd been so scared, but now there was just relief and a little annoyance. She could have left him a note, but she was right. He'd always find her, so she was just counting on the inevitable. Bella stroked his hair. "I'm sorry. I figured you'd get it when you realized I was headed here."

"Get it? No, I didn't. I thought you were still upset and about to self-destruct again."

"Oh, sorry. That's understandable, I suppose."

He rolled his eyes and sarcastically stated, "You think?"

They hugged for a few minutes which settled him down. The wolf retreated, the couple quietened, and enjoyed the morning view. Bella turned to kiss him before making the request again, "But will you jump with me? I want to wash all the past away for good. This is us coming full circle. I checked the weather, no storms today, and even though it's going to be chilly, I have my hot wolf-man to warm me back up."

Jacob stood up, so he could check the water out firsthand. It looked calm nothing like it had been that fateful day Bella took the plunge all alone.

"Yeah, I will. But I need to go hunt for some shorts from one of the clothes stashes. Quil jumped last spring nude and said it felt like his balls got stuck in his throat." Bella laughed. He was thankful it was still a good day and he'd panicked for nothing. They had shorts and sweats hidden all over the place. Before Charlie knew the secret, he'd asked Billy why there was such a homeless problem on the reservation. He came across odd bags and boxes of clothes in the strangest places. It was a good thing there was another hideaway below. Bells would be freezing when they got on the beach, but he'd warm her up quickly with his body and a fresh set of clothes.

Jacob came back soon cinching the waist of some cargo shorts. "You might want to jump in your undies only and then I'll get you dry stuff. There's a cool place not far off the path. The guys have a firepit set up already. We can change and dry off, maybe talk more about what this jump means to each of us."

"That sounds nice." Bella looked around with her hands holding the hem of her blouse, "What if someone sees me?"

He shrugged. Jacob didn't smell anyone near. He promised to shield her from anyone if they happened on them. She made him promise to retrieve her clothes later because she'd finally shopped for herself and really loved these new jeans. Quil wasn't about to get his grubby paws on them and cut the legs out to wear after phasing.

"He can't get his fat ass in your jeans. I promise I'll come back soon and get them." Jacob sensed Bella's trepidation. She was stalling, "Do you want to do this or not, Bells? You don't have to prove anything." But she nodded and he saw the determination behind her fear.

It took her a few minutes before she was brave enough to strip down to her bra and panties in broad daylight which was no worse than a bikini. Bella gave in and giggled with excitement like they were about to do something so exciting and risqué. The guys had done way worse all over the reservation. Bella in her undies about to jump into the ocean wasn't too bad. Although, Jacob didn't want any of them peeping at her. He sniffed the air once more to make sure the coast was clear. It was.

After going over all the safety aspects a few times, they were ready. This was supposed to be a dare, something the show-offs did for a laugh, and a rite of passage for many of the reservation locals. Jacob briefly thought of the past. Bella jumped for the wrong reasons before. She summoned the demon when she did it. He paused at the edge. Should they? He knew he'd protect her, and they'd be fine, but he had to make sure of her reasons.

"Bells, why is this so important right now? I need to know before we do it."

"Think of it as an emotional baptism. I've been grounded in my love for you for a while, but my mind still takes me to the dark places sometimes. I just want the release. I want to let it go, wash the thoughts away for good, bury my old self at the bottom of the sea, and I want to experience it with you. We need this."

Jacob accepted her reasons. They were all good, and he was in the same place as her physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually. They truly were more than an imprint. Too strong for clichés like soulmates. He had no words or descriptions for what they were. They just were. Jacob thought of Sarah. Bella smiled at him. She saw his mind. They joined hands, raised them to the heavens, and thanked Jacob's mother together for believing the unbelievable all those years ago when they were children. She fought for them, died for them, and it was not in vain. Her sacrifice protected their bond even though it took years before they were reunited. Jacob thanked the spirits for his mother and felt her presence so many times when he and Bella were alone. This moment at the top of the cliffs felt sacred.

"You ready, Bells?"

"I was born ready, Jacob."

They counted down, "One, two, three..." before Bella took the leap of faith a fraction ahead of Jacob, but he held tight to her hand. Neither the wind, water, or gravity ever broke their connection. The couple plunged to the depths that day, sinking far under water because of the force of the fall, but Jake's strong legs kicked and swam until they were moving in the right direction where they could break the surface again to breathe in the fresh air their lungs needed.

After a few seconds of treading water, Bella screamed with her hands above her head, "We did it!"

Jacob pulled her close to his body and relished the feeling of having her next to him safe, sound, and completely healed. All those months since Bella first jumped off this cliff flashed through his mind, "Yeah, Bells. You're right. We did it."

~Thanks so much for reading.

So this was a long time coming. I'm so happy where this journey took me. Anyone that reads my stuff knows I rarely write fanfiction anymore. I still have a few things I'd like to wrap up, but it's hard to find the time and energy. I'm such a sap, I actually have plans for an epilogue for this, but I also wanted this chapter to end in such a way it could be the final installment. I hope it's not. Let me know if you truly need the epi. Thanks again for all the support over the years reading my stories and giving me encouragement. I appreciate it more than you know.

Love, T.