There was no ocean. Koji knew that. He knew the feel of water up to his knees was all in his head, that the sound of waves wasn't real. And yet the cold sank into his bones all the same. The smell of salt burnt the back of his throat just as the whispers burned his mind. Thousands of voices, or maybe just one, fragments of things he didn't yet understand. But they were getting louder. Colder. God, it was exhausting to fight the cold. The damp. The bitter resentment…
"You're holding out longer than I would've expected," came a voice he'd hated since their first contact. "The first phase is over for most people by now. But you're Minamoto Koji, Chosen of Light! I suppose I shouldn't be so surprised."
"Go to hell," he growled, not bothering to look up. There was the sound of someone sitting in the chair beside him and a moment of silence.
"Believe it or not I've been there. It's called graduate school." The individual known only as Yuki pressed two fingers between the tendons in Koji's wrist, taking his pulse. "I was so trapped before the Dark Ocean. A lot like you are right now. Your fever's breaking, which is good, but that means you're going to dehydrate more quickly. I'll get a drip going."
"If you touch me with one more needle," Koji growled in a low voice. "I will kill you myself."
"Oh I doubt that," said Yuki dismissively, busying himself. "You've never killed before and I don't think you actually have it in you. This is the real world, you know. Here, nothing comes back. You have beautiful veins by the way. Most people I have to feel around a bit, make sure it's springy so I don't stick a tendon. Yours pop right out. Now, this might pinch a little."
Koji tried his best to jerk away, but he was so well strapped to the chair that he barely moved. The needle slid easily into his arm. The waves crashed in his mind, like standing on a boulder as the tide came in.
"Why are you doing this!" He didn't know if he was asking Yuki or the Ocean. Regardless, the words burst from him like a small explosion, a question he hadn't meant to ask at all. Yuki finished his task in silence, face pensive.
"Before… I was miserable. Pathetic. You've heard this part, but I don't think you appreciate how true it is. I was a student studying the electrochemistry of the brain, which is very challenging as you might imagine. There was never enough progress, never publishable results, and the more I tried the less I lived. I was ready to die when the Master, the entity you call Tache, found me. She took the pills from my hand and told me a story that was far too crazy to be true. But when she opened the portals I had to believe."
"I don't actually care," Koji tried to backtrack, snarling in hopes of getting the other man to leave. He needed to be alone if he was going to escape. Yuki smiled, scooting closer.
"You know there's more than one universe. More than one human world and more than one you. I am a scientist in all of them. I saw myself as a doctor, an electrical engineer, a pharmacist, a successful neurobiologist, all the things I wanted to be but wasn't. I was the first to accept her gift, the first to figure out how I could accept it. I discovered the particles, I created the formula to prevent host rejection. And then, once they were inside me, I gained the knowledge of all my counterparts. The signal, the cell phones, the chair that stimulates your brother's potential, even your little hide out, were all designed and built by me. The me from a thousand worlds. The optimal version of myself."
Koji's eyes slid sideways.
"So. What."
"How can you be so obtuse! The Master offers refinement, the chance to become a god among insects, to dominate the world and everything that has ever made you suffer. Those particles that I injected into your brain will give you the power you've always wanted; all you have to do is reach out and take it!"
"I refuse. I don't want to be a part of your little cult and I don't want whatever the hell you're going on about. I'm here to stop you."
"Such brave words out of such ignorance," Yuki snarled. Then he paused, a cruel smile twisting his mouth. "You don't even know what's inside you, do you."
"It doesn't matter."
"Oh but it does. You talk as if you're immune, but you've been a part of our "little cult" ever since you felt the Master's presence. Remember how you froze? Remember how you kneeled? Remember how you submitted?"
Yuki leaned forward, whispering into Koji's ear.
"You came to us. You want our power. The Master's gift has been inside you all this time."
"That's bullshit!" Koji tried to jerk away, causing Yuki to laugh.
"As someone who traveled to a Digital World, a part of you has been altered. Every Digidestined carries particles, bio-inorganic hybrids that allow for the conversion of matter to data. In the metaphor we told Dorian to use, you are the cell towers. You will allow the Dark Ocean to spread. Of course, like anyone you still require treatments, an infusion of the Master's particles, but they will hybridize with your own and become transferable. You will start your own "cults" and engulf the world. Once the Master recombines with her original host, everything will become more potent. Boundaries will fall away and the Ocean will finally spread."
"You're delusional. There's no way! And even if it were true, I will never be a part of it."
"You're very certain for one who already hears my song." They both tensed. Yuki stood, backing away from Koji and bending forward, bowing to the lyrical voice.
"You can go," It said dismissively, coming around to face the Warrior of Light, Its gaze focused. There was the sound of cloth rustling, then a door closing. They were alone. Koji's insides froze as he stared into Its black eyes, tingling in the strangest way.
"Yuki is quite excitable," It said with a smile. "You should've seen him when he discovered the buildup of waste product that turns the eyes dark. Or when he started his project to block out the sun. Having you here is… how would you say it, like Christmas to him. Is that the appropriate phrase?"
Koji wanted to retort, to say something clever and scathing and make It hurt. But his voice was stuck. And his mind was going blanker by the second. Tache widened Ysault's grin, tilting her head like a predator.
"Not so vocal now? That's okay; you don't need to talk. You've done enough, I think. Now it's time to listen. I know why you're fighting me Koji and you know that it's pointless. Let me explain myself a little, hmm? Let me tell you how we want the same thing."
"We are enemies," Koji managed to growl. "I won't let you damn my brother."
"It's not damnation," It sighed, taking up Yuki's seat and leaning on his shoulder. "Don't you understand? I want to save him, just like you. He hurts, Koji. Always he's in agony. As his brother you know this. You hate yourself for not being able to make it stop, but have you ever questioned why it is so to begin with? Have you ever wondered?"
He didn't answer. The world around him was smearing, cement floors glinting like water, tables turning into roots. White, fleshy tendrils that rose up from the water, sacs of inky blackness hanging like dew from their tips. A vast tree, his chair buried in the trunk, his bonds arcs of bark.
"It's because he's incomplete." Tache stood before him, a vaguely human being of black mist. "He yearns to be whole, but fear holds him back. Makes him weak. You want your brother to be strong, yes? You want him to be free?"
"Don't twist this into something it's not. Duskmon is your goal and he was never free. He was just a tool for evil and my brother will never be that again."
"You're absolutely right." The figure waved a hand and the tree expelled Koji's body. He stumbled, trying to gain footing in the knee-deep water. Blue eyes swung up, confused and wary. "Duskmon was Cherubimon's plaything. I hated that. But I am not him. I don't want to be him. I want to be more."
"Stop lying to me! You are what's left of Duskmon! You will turn Koichi back into a monster!"
"See, there's the root of the problem. This discussion isn't about your brother, Koji. We're talking about you. What you want, what you love… and what you fear. I would know, I can smell it on you. You're afraid to loose the one dearest to you, you're afraid things will change and you won't be close anymore. I can tell you all day that is simply not the case, but that doesn't address your true terror. What frightens you above all else: Koichi himself."
"No. You're insane. I don't fear Koichi, he's my twin brother."
"All the name-calling and denial in the world won't change it. Koichi, at his full potential, at the peak of his power, terrifies you. You fear what he could become, what he's destined to become. And yet you claim to love him. Tell me, how can you love someone and call them a monster at the same time? How can you respect someone you think inhuman? You're a hypocrite, Minamoto Koji. That's why you're fighting me, not out of some just sense of honor or duty. Not because you actually think I'm wrong."
Koji's mouth went dry, his heart pounding in his ears, mind buzzing with too many thoughts. This thing, this force, It was trying to get into his head. It wanted him to give in, to stop fighting. Which he couldn't do. But why was getting hazy…
"I'm not afraid of Koichi," he said again, slower this time. "I'm afraid of the things you'll make him do. I'm afraid of the world you'll use him to create."
"You think I'm going to take him away from you, is that what you're trying to say? You're worried things will change but they've already done so. Look me in the face and tell me you don't know that."
"Because of you! Everything's wrong because of you!"
"Nothing is wrong Koji! Your brother is becoming what he was always meant to be. The world is changing as it was designed to, as you always believed it would. What's the phrase: the meek shall inherit the earth? Well, that's what I'm doing. Darkness exists in everyone, but most of all in those who suffer. I end their suffering. I make them powerful. And you would stand there and say that's a bad thing? Truly?"
"If what you've done to these poor bastards is anything like what you're doing to Koichi then you and I have different definitions of suffering. You're not making anyone powerful; near as I can tell you're just enslaving them."
"And how would you know? You've barely tasted what I offer, and you want more. I can tell. You want strength, cunning, decisiveness. That sense of destiny you had in the Digital World. I can give it to you, all of it. So why do you go on? Aren't you tired of pretending otherwise? Is your pride so important that you would sacrifice everything you so desperately desire? Everything you need to keep your brother safe."
"You're right about one thing: I do want to keep Koichi safe. But that's where it ends. For all your posturing you can't change the facts. You can't convince me you've done anything but hurt him since this whole thing started!"
"Just like you, he hurts because he resists. He resists because he does not understand. That's why I brought you here, so you could learn and then explain it to him. There's a part of him inside me, a part that he needs to be whole, and so long as he remains incomplete he will suffer. I've told you before, we want the same thing and that is to end his pain. Please Koji, let me show you how."
He didn't even notice he was backing away until he hit the tree trunk. Cornered. Tache advanced on him, encircling his waist with arms made of ice-cold fog. Koji yelped, grasping Its shoulders and trying to force it away.
"Get off," he yelled. "Get the hell away from me-"
Its mouth covered his, cutting him off and causing him to shudder. Something like a mist was passing over Its lips. It tasted bitter, clogging his throat, choking him. Koji's struggles escalated, his fingers clawing at the dark form wherever they could find a grip as he tried to pull away. Still the mist came, forcing its way into his lungs. He felt it enter his bloodstream, like a wave of ice cold and… relief. The will to keep fighting was being siphoned away and this immense weight he hadn't even realized was there was lifted from his shoulders. Slowly the strength drained from his fingers as he breathed, taking Tache's blackness into his body.
He was tired. Tired of being the first and last line in his brother's defense, tired of swimming upstream, tired of holding back the inevitable. There was a hole inside Koichi; he knew that. Duskmon was a part of him, no matter what they pretended, and eventually that part had to emerge. It was like trying to prevent the tide from coming in and he just couldn't do it anymore. Besides, who was he to make that decision? Koichi was powerful beyond what Koji could comprehend, yet he had limited himself. Because Koji had asked him to he'd given up his identity, his strength, and allowed himself to become weak. But Koji wanted him to be strong. He wanted him to be whole. He wanted.
His arms were around Tache's form now, but not in combat like before. Koji held the black form to him, relaxing into its embrace. Allowing his mind to go blissfully blank as he inhaled a whole new understanding of the world. All the while reaffirming his convictions. He was going to save his brother. He was going to save Koichi.