The water was cold as ice, so cold it hurt. That was good, at least. He could still feel the cold. The dull ache of the Ocean. It tugged at him, the rising waters pushing and pulling around his waist. And inside, like staring at a plate of food after a long fast. That was less good. He yearned for it, the ache in his gut worse than the one in his flesh. Its hunger was becoming his, its will leaching into his own. In the back of his mind, he wondered how much longer he was going to last. How long before the line between them corroded away and he surrendered? How long before he became the willing vessel it so desperately desired?
A massive tree obscured the horizon, far in the distance but close enough that he could make out its pale roots. There were more of them than he remembered, buried into dozens of necks, sucking the life from too many people. People who didn't feel the cold anymore. Or perhaps that was all they felt, a chill so deep in their bones it drowned out whatever suffering had driven them to this place. None of them were happy or even content. Those emotions simply did not exist here. But, in a pathetic twisted way, they were comfortable. Their cruelest impulses had been rationalized and they no longer needed to be responsible for them. It was absolution, of a sort. Freedom from the desire to be free.
Why was he here? For a moment the concept startled him. As if not being here was the stranger circumstance. But then he remembered: this wasn't real. It was a mirage, his mind interpreting another dimension as best it could. He was a visitor- a spectator, and nothing more. He had come to feel, to become like the others, then to reject it. This was a test. Fear congealed in his gut for the first time. Tests could be failed and that was something he couldn't afford. No matter how badly he wanted to surrender he had to hold out. His brother needed him to hold out.
As if sensing his sudden surge of emotion the tree came closer, looming over him. Those roots that were not burrowed into a host swung around, traps of black mist hanging from their tips. One approached him, moving like a snake through the water. Bringing the whispers with it. He closed his eyes, trying to ignore them. But still every ounce of evil that had ever crossed his mind was returning. Playing back as if the Ocean had been recording each second of anger and envy and pain he'd ever experienced. The root offered its load, like a cure, and silently, he held out his hands.
Blackness engulfed him and suddenly he forgot why he'd come. The Ocean was inside him and there was work to be done. It could not be contained any longer; it had to spread. It would swallow the world. And he was going to help-
"No no NO! I'm killing it."
Koichi gasped as he was pulled from the vision, fresh blood wetting his ears and nose. Izumi let out a desperate sigh, pulling out an already bloodstained handkerchief and moving to mop him up. Takuya hung back, rubbing gloved hands over his face, exhausted eyes glaring in the computer's general direction. Where Bahar stood, hunched over the keyboard and livid.
"God damn it, how many times have we been over this! Ocean bad. Fighting Ocean good." She accentuated each statement with a hand gesture, as if to put the activities in separate boxes.
"It's not easy," Koichi spat back, squirming a little as Izumi undid his restraints.
"No shit! It's not supposed to be a cakewalk! If it was we wouldn't have a problem."
"Hey, lay off. We've been at this for days," Takuya interjected. "Cut the guy some slack."
"We don't have time for slack. You're buddy Koji doesn't have time for slack. The only way to save him is to sever the connection the Dark Ocean has to this world and the only way that happens is if Koichi learns to cut himself off from it!"
"Lets take a break," tried Izumi, pulling away from Koichi and glancing around. "Koichi at least could use one."
"I'm-"
"If you say "fine" then so help me… Listen, Takuya's right. We've been trying since Bahar got here. Practically nonstop for 16 hours a day. We're all exhausted, so why don't we all just take ten minutes, blow off a little steam, then we can figure out the next step."
"Fine," Bahar said after a tight moment. "I'm getting some air."
She straightened, her back cracking audibly, and moved to the door. Her gait was stiff but deliberate, frustration souring the mood around her. Yeah, air would be good. For all of them. Izumi winced as the door slammed, shooting Takuya another deflated look.
"Charming individual," he said with an eye roll, bringing a tiny smile to her lips. "You think all the French are this unpleasant?"
"We haven't had the best sampling; I'm sure the rest are perfectly nice."
"Can you two keep it down," snapped Koichi, burrowing his face into his palms.
"Sorry," whispered Takuya, shrinking back at the outburst.
"Do you need anything? Water maybe?"
She meant it to be a soft offer, something to calm his temper and maybe quiet the pain she knew was raging in his head. Instead, the Chosen of Darkness stood up, walked over to the table, and shoved the keyboard to the floor.
"What I need is to get my brother back! This is taking too long! For all we know he's been brainwashed already!"
"Hey man, give yourself a break." Takuya waved his hands through the air in what Izumi could only assume was a calming motion. "We're all doing our best here."
"It's not good enough."
"Koichi, don't you think you'd know if Koji had been… you know," she tried, still keeping her tone hushed. "Wouldn't you… sense him?"
"Here's a thought, why don't you go in there and see if you can "sense" him."
The wires around them surged with a burst of energy that made the hairs on their arms erect. Izumi swallowed her retort, taking a deep breath and licking her lips. Koichi wouldn't meet her eye; his gaze was fixed deliberately on the floor, hands balled into white fists. Takuya looked from one to the other, trying briefly to decide which he feared more. Giving up, he moseyed quietly towards the door.
"I'll just get you some water then," he said absently. Koichi shot him a look that could disembowel. "Okay, right, I'll get me some water."
For a moment the remaining two stood in silence. Izumi was trying to be compassionate, she really was. That was her nature, after all. But the constant strain and bickering and yelling and negativity- she couldn't take it.
"I think I'll join Bahar. I could use some air too."
If Koichi responded in anyway, she didn't catch it. Mirroring the Chosen of Justice almost perfectly, Izumi walked stiffly to the door and slammed it behind her. Outside, Bahar was leaning against the railing overlooking the stairs. Her arms were folded in front of her, supporting her weight, and the afternoon sun seemed to glow on her bare shoulders. Unkept hair hung around her face, but not so much as to obscure her expression. Pensive.
"How's he doing," she asked in a much softer tone than Izumi had heard her use thus far.
"How do you think," she sniped back, crossing her arms and leaning her back against the wall. Bahar snorted, smiling a little, mirthless smile.
"Fair point."
"Is there really nothing you can do?" It came out significantly harsher than she'd intended, but Izumi was much too tired to feel any shame. Bahar threw an indecipherable look over her shoulder, her black eyes startling in the golden sun.
"What, since I spent some time in the Dark Ocean suddenly I'm the expert?"
"From where I'm standing, yes."
"Phenomenal," she sighed, snorting. "Fine, to answer your question, no, there's nothing I can do. I've imparted all my wisdom and now it's up to him. He can either accept his demons or not. There's nothing in between."
"Surely it's not that simple."
"Simple? How do you figure? You got some insight you wanna share with the group?"
"What? No-I-"
"Wait, now I'm curious." Bahar turned, bringing up a hand to pick at a spot on her chin. Izumi swallowed, suddenly feeling more uncomfortable than frustrated. "What do you know about accepting demons? No offence, but you don't strike me as the type to really have any."
"No offence," she said with a scornful laugh. "But you don't know the first thing about me."
"Pretty blond, smart, boyfriend, I've met the type."
"When I first got here I was a pariah, people would barely talk to me. And don't think for a second I didn't hate them for it."
"And now?"
"Now what?!"
"Do you hate them?"
"Sometimes…" Izumi pursed her lips, rubbing her upper arms as if chilled. "But I try not to. People are petty."
"If you hate them for something as stupid as ignoring you doesn't that make you the petty one? Wait, sorry. Here's where I'm going: I want to know if you still accept yourself, even with your less pleasant… aspects."
"What has that got to do with anything?"
"That's the trick. The Dark Ocean can't tell you you're broken if you already know it. It can't use your pain against you if you're already dealing with it. Just like in the Digital World, you have to realize these things about yourself to become stronger."
"Is that so," Izumi whispered softly. Her green eyes were downcast, shining, but sad was the wrong word. "Do you want to know something ironic? Before the Digital World, before I met everyone, I was afraid of the wind."
Bahar let out a short laugh, tearing into a cuticle with her teeth. A line of bright red emerged, vibrant against her skin, causing Izumi to wince. She noticed and dropped her hands to her side, giving an apologetic grin.
"Sorry. So, umm, can I ask why?"
"Have you ever heard of the Mistral? It's a powerful wind that blows over the Mediterranean. In the spring it would absolutely howl past our house, slamming windows, screaming through any crack. It was so strong it could knock you over and I was terrified of it. It wasn't until the Digital World that I realized that's just how the wind is."
"Terrifying?"
"Powerful. It's a force of nature after all. It does what it does without morality or regret. If it rips a door from its hinges there's no reason; it doesn't mean to be frightening. I know sometimes I can get that way. I like to think of myself as kind and gentle, but the Mistral is inside me. As a person… I am responsible for my actions and their consequences. When I accepted the Spirits of Wind, I realized how ridiculous it is to fear something that's a part of you. Be aware of it, yes. Use it for the greater good rather than to hurt people, of course. But never fear it."
"Did you catch all that?"
Izumi jumped, cursing herself for not noticing Bahar's gaze drift. Just to her right, Koichi was standing in the doorway. His fingers rested lightly on the frame, navy eyes rimmed with red, staring at her. She flushed under the attention, standing up straight and holding herself a little more tightly. Koichi's gaze flicked to Bahar, who was smirking as if somehow triumphant, then settled back on Izumi.
"Do you…" he tried, his voice barely more than a breath. "Do you ever just want the power gone? Do you wish that part of you with the potential to hurt people just… didn't exist?"
"No." She blinked, a little surprised at how certain she sounded. Yet as soon as the word left her lips she knew it was absolutely true. Her jade eyes locked with Koichi's and for a moment the two just stared at each other. "It's a part of me. It's part of who I am and I wouldn't change that."
Koichi's eyes closed for a moment, tears he'd been holding back glistening on his lashes. But they didn't fall. Bahar stared at him, pensive once more, her black gaze hard. When he came back to the world it was with a determination that buzzed through the air. His eyes locked with Bahar's and, slowly, he nodded.