Original Characters © Eiichiro Oda. Cover Art & Creative Story © shipfiend.

"Intoxicated" – Martin Solveig

Franky came back to his home expecting to get a warm welcome from his family. However, the winds gave him an icy chill as it swept across the barren land and the remains of his house.

"The fuck happened here?" The tremor in his voice caused the wary men to look at their leader in tepid fear. Even the Square Sisters dared not to look at their brother as they cleaned the bandages of the wounded.

It had been over two nights since a whirlwind of monstrous men crashed past their doors. They had not asked for demands and instead seemed to draw their conclusions and answers from the blood that they drew out of those laid to waste. Mozu and Kiwi were trying to keep a beat on the town, figuring out who would have attempted to murder the mayor. With their luck, the Franky Family would have been blamed and rather than step into the insinuations, the sisters aimed to cover any traces and redirect any accusations. Yet, it seemed all was for naught when they returned.

At first, they assumed the townspeople had picked up their arms. As much as the Franky Family prided themselves on their strength and down to the dirt fighting skills, at the end of the day, they were human – unlike their iron boned leader.

Zambai hobbled over. "Big Bro. I am so sorry."

As Zambai lifted his redden eyes, he thought he saw the sheer bloodlust that he witnessed from the one-eyed man and his friends, the smoking blonde, and the skinny fro with the sword.

Franky repeated himself with the same level of aggression. "Who did this?"

Zambai could not bring the words to his mouth so the Square Sisters assisted. "They did not tell us…but we looked into the description of the main guy. His name is Zoro. He was some kind of prizefighter and apparently the man we stole from was his friend…and so…"

They trailed off as Franky gathered his large palms into fists. The men heard the locking mechanisms engaged. Franky never fully explained all his altercations, but they knew their leader was not something to underestimate. He had gunpowder for blood and right now, he was ready to blow.

Franky chuckled. "I will give it to them that they had the right, but I will not take this lying down."

"We can find another way!" Zambai called after him, but Franky was off and charging.

"Ah, Big Bro, where are you going?" Kiwi called out.

Mozu added in, "You don't even know where they are!"

But Franky did, or at least he assumed he did. Somehow the woman and these people were connected…and Franky was done with this game.

Iceburg awoke with a gasp as Paulie sat on a chair by his bed. At first, he thought the man was asleep but Paulie's eyes glanced at his friend with an angry stare.

"Did you know?" he asked quietly.

Iceberg cleared the smoke from his throat and frowned. "I…I did not. They been with us…for what? Five years? To think. This entire time…"

Paulie gripped his knees. "Damn it! How could we have been so blind?"

Iceburg threw his legs over the bed with a wince, "We cannot think like that, Paulie. They would not have been as good as they were if we knew…"

"And yet…"

"And yet?"

Paulie nodded his head to the door with light peeking from underneath. "We are now holed up in our own city. Assassins out to get you…we don't know who to trust."

"The people-" Iceburg said hopefully, but Paulie shot him down.

"You've been kidnapped, sir. The people are ready to riot. And unfortunately, our newest champions seem to have gotten their faces vaguely in the papers. There's no time for a well-planned solution. What are we going to do?"

Before Iceburg could lend him an answer, a shout called from the window. "Oi! Zoro!"

Iceburg felt the cold sweat on his face as he recognized the voice as the man rolled out his R's. "It that…"

Paulie beat him to it, "Fucking hell! It's Franky!" They peered outside as the tall man, still in his signature speedos, thick gold chain, and obnoxiously printed shirt screamed in the middle of the darkened street. It was rather late, but there were still passersby, especially with the city on high alert.

Before either of them could reach for the door, a voice shouted back. "The fuck you want?"

Franky aimed his open palms, "Let's fucking dance, bro."

Paulie stared at the massive form that had managed to fold over like a chair. Franky was essentially in a giant sack, drool dripping out of his mouth, and his body bound in chains.

"So…tell me again how you managed this?"

Perona ripped off her elbow-length surgical gloves and removed her gas mask. "I have been working on a new…drug, of sorts."

Sanji twirled around the lot of them as he threw her praises and fawned. Zoro rolled his good eye and replied to Paulie, "Perona is a demon but she didn't kill him. I think."

Usopp rocked back and forth as he mumbled to himself. "Yes, but did you really need to rip off his shorts and force me…through his butt…I'll never be able to unsee that."

Brook chimed in wearily, "Yes, that was a bit unconventional, no? I asked for panties, but I truly prefer them on women."

Iceburg cleared his throat, "I understand that this means you will take Franky."

"Well, do we really have a choice?" Zoro mused and scratched the back of his head. "Besides, whether those guys are dead or not, if Franky is what they are after and he's our best lead to Nami…then I am not going to risk leaving him here."

"How noble," Iceberg responded dryly. But Zoro was unfazed.

"Get this straight, man. I don't give a shit about some plans or whatever happens to this place…I came with my friends, and I'm leaving with them. My only purpose was to reach Nami. Don't get my agenda twisted."

Paulie whistled, "She must be something for you to go to these lengths."

Zoro glowered at him, "She's important to all of us. Wouldn't you do the same for your friend?"

Paulie shared a look with Iceburg and smirked. "Fine, kid. Do whatever you need to do…just take that pervert out of here."

Sanji sighed, "Why can't we ever find some nice ladies to partner with? Between the Panty Thief and Speedo-Thick Chains over here, this team is hugely unappealing."

"You're one of the freaking perverts, too, you stupid love-sick cook!" Zoro fumed.

Perona smiled as she thought that for a moment, everything seemed okay. Sure, they were in a foreign place that was hellbent on blaming them for arson and attempted murder. They were going to kidnap a man who nearly beat one of them to death. And they were nowhere nearer to Nami…but for a moment, there was hope.

"Alright, boys!" she clapped her hands to get their attention. "We need to figure out a way to get out of here. Without money and with the city in an uproar, we're gonna have a tough time escaping unscathed…and more importantly, undetected."

Paulie addressed the pink haired woman with a smirk, "It may be unconventional, but I think I have an idea…but, Iceburg, if they are ever going to let Franky go…we may need to lie a bit."

Zambai could not believe what he was doing. As Zambai's Company Union assembled what was needed, Mozu and Kiwi cried out to him.

"This cannot be the only way? Can't we do something?"

Kiev and Tamagon lifted their goggles briefly to wipe the tears from their eyes, as Zambai let his tears run down his long, tired face. "I am not sure what exactly has happened…but in order to protect Big Bro, we must!"

When Zambai got the call from Tilestone, he was weary. It had been ages since he interacted with the Galley-La Company as being part of Franky Family meant they were often at odds. However, the papers proved Tilestone's request true. Franky was being incriminated in the attempted assignation of the mayor, the destruction of the Galley-La Company headquarters, and the subsequent kidnapping of both Paulie and Iceburg.

"We all know Fr-Big Bro did not speak much of his past, but…if what Iceburg says is true, then Franky is truly like a brother to him and whether I trust the mayor or not, the people are upset. The World Government has been called, and unless we can prove his innocence…we need to help him get away."

"But why isn't Big Bro the one telling us any of this?" The Square Sisters shouted. "He disappeared after he went for those men that beat you all up and destroyed the house…you think he would tell us something, at least…"

The men stopped working as they covered their faces with their forearms. "You know Big Bro would never want to leave us willingly…" they cried, "They would need to drag him away, and…he couldn't bare crying in front of us. Would he?"

The snot and grease from their work covered their faces, but the Square Sisters nodded in disheartened understanding. They all shouted together, "He's a true man!"

The muffled talking forced Franky to blink his eyes open. His entire body felt like jelly and his mouth tasted like copper. "The hell is..." he mumbled groggily.

"Ah, the prisoner is awake!" Perona cheerfully clapped. "To think I kept this 'knock out gas' completely organic. Made entirely out of seaweed."

"No way that is entirely the effects of seaweed," Zoro said defiantly.

"Yeah," Usopp nodded. "He nearly crapped himself. You definitely mixed the chemicals with something else. Almost like chloroform but in a solid form, right? But again…why did it need to go into his ass? And why did I need to shoot it?"

"Why the hell not? You want to be a botanist, a sharpshooter, and a hacker, so we're gonna use all your talents," Sanji quipped.

Usopp titled his chin up and proudly folded his arms, "I am a man of many talents."

Perona smirked, "Taking it through the ass gets it into the bloodstream faster, much more intoxicating. Also, I just wanted to see if you could do it."

Franky finally gained enough consciousness to take in the array before him. He was against a wall as people sat at a table in front of him. He felt like he was moving as if he was on a ship.

"Where the hell am I?" Franky growled. He tried to move but then realized his body was bound, and he understood that he did not have the little clothes he usually had. His bare bottom scratched against the woolen sack.

Zoro took a swing of his drink and turned to face Franky with a firm expression. "We are on a ship, leaving Water 7. You've been implicated in several crimes. As have we…but unlike us, they have your picture plastered everywhere. Congratulations. You've made the World Government's Most Wanted."

Robin's hooded eyes trailed over the poster of the familiar blue haired man. She had stopped to stare, suddenly angry at him for not listening to her, once again, but perhaps this was for the best. She tugged the brim of her hat down and walked on. Her cowgirl outfit, which consisted of a purple corset and matching skirt, hugged her tall and curvaceous frame. She paid no attention to the onlookers, mostly male, as she threw her fur-lined white coat over her shoulders. The jacket hid the gold armbands, one with an "N" and another with a "BW" engraved into it. Her heels hit the linoleum of the airport floors.

"Flights to Alabasta have been delayed due to weather. Please be on standby."

She looked at the signs with furrowed brows. It took her forever to get off Water 7, and at the nearest city that had an airport, she was to return to her command center. Crocodile would not be pleased with her delay, especially since she did not have the plans as she promised. Almost as if he heard her worries, her cell phone rang, the caller id nothing more than a number.

"Mr. 0," she said nonchalantly, "you must work for the airport if you are already aware of my delays."

The silence at the end was deafening but a deep-throated chuckle followed, "Miss All-Sunday. Though I appreciate the tenacity, I did not intend for you to destroy an entire island. Again."

Robin frowned but played it off with her steady voice, "Can't leave witnesses, can I?"

"Always sharp with you work, aren't you?" Crocodile mused, "The plans?"

She did not hesitate. "No, but I do know where they are."

"And where would that be?"

"You remember that hotshot fighter?"

There was an audible growl. "Mr. 1 and Miss Doublefinger died remembering."

"What if I told you I could get you your revenge and the plans?"

Crocodile snickered. "I would say I trust you to deliver on your promises."

"Don't I always?" Robin said with a sincere amount of sarcasm in her voice. "I'll just need to be off the grid for a bit. Is that fine?"

He pondered this for a moment, silence once more between them. "Fine, Miss All-Sunday. I expect nothing less from you. Besides, you deserve a break from this arid wasteland."

She bit her tongue from stating that he was the reason it was an arid wasteland rather than the luxurious country it used to be. However, Robin was less concerned over the turmoil of a clearly fractured and explosive political climate far away. She had bigger fish to fry and he was currently on a boat going nowhere.

"That." Sniff. "Is the most…" Blubbering, "Saddest." Wailing, "Romantic story I ever heard!"

Perona, Sanji, and Usopp watched the oddly older man, still in his sackcloth, lose all sense of composure as they told him their tale. Of Zoro and his "meaningless life" before her, per Sanji. Of the sexual chemistry that "exploded" before her eyes, per Perona. Of the heart aching pains "his new direction" dealt with to finally trust another man who she inevitable sacrificed her life to save, per Usopp. All it needed was Brook to add in the tales of panties and sleeping over, and Zoro and Nami would have been a romantic tragedy bested only by the Titanic. Maybe not even that, according to the snot and tear-filled face of "Iron Man" Franky.

"So," he mumbled, "you need me to help find her, then?"

Zoro cracked his knuckles profusely to distract from his reddening expression. "Yes…we have on good information that she was taken to Water 7, but we don't know how she got out. Or where she is now."

"To be quite honest…I was going to collect on her bounty," Franky seemed to muse, the lumbering fool still on the floor like a giant potato sack.

It was Zoro who stood up first, the static prickled off his frame. "You what?"

Franky simply shrugged. "Maybe she didn't know it, but she was being hunted by people in the…darker circles, and so I had to think of my family to feed."

Zoro gripped the sack as he crouched down, "And so what did you do?"

Franky was unperturbed by the man. He was younger, sure a fit fighter, but Franky took in the bandages on his head and chest. It signified a great loss, perhaps equal to the girl Zoro was chasing after. However, Franky was not unfamiliar with the loss. In fact, he prided himself on looking at what he had. Right now, it was the upper hand.

He lifted himself up so quickly that the rest were not prepared for the flying chain bits as they launched every which way. He fabric tore revealing Franky was still naked from the bottom down, not that he wore much. At seven feet tall, he towered over everyone, his arctic blue hair dusting the ceiling. Franky prepared his arm, the locking mechanism tinkering away as Usopp stood astounded. "Oh, my freaking-he's a robot?"

None of them were able to see what Franky intended to do back at their hotel, as Zoro and he continued to only shout insults back and forth, peacocking like stupid men do. Perona took the opportunity to wrangle Usopp's services, as she forced him into the strangest of attack plans. Of course, Franky was taken aback at being pants-ed, or more specifically speedo-ed, which led to his sudden collapsing unconscious from the drugs. It shocked everyone, to say the least, but apparently, the surprises were still coming.

"I prefer cyborg," Franky responded with a chuckle. He needed to get back to his family. They were in trouble if the false news got through…that his crew was to blame for everything that these people, whether he liked their story or not, were actually partially at fault for.

Yet, like air hissing out of a teapot, Franky was out of steam. Damn it. For all the times to run out of cola.

Without warning, the giant tipped forward, his eyes rolled back as his mechanical body gave way to his human body, tired and strained from the past few days. He mumbled quietly, "I need cola…"

Then he was passed out as he crashed into the table, taking it down with him.

Sanji put out his cigarette with a huff, "Well, that was anticlimactic."

Zoro, however, was lost in thought. As he looked away from Franky's bare bottom staring back him, his mind went back. To every interaction, he had with her. At every moment. Their explanation did not help Franky's desire to leave or subdue his desire to pay them back for what they did to his family and house, but now, all Zoro could think about was how this odd man was going to be his best bet to finding Nami.

A/N: I had an epiphany. Self, I told myself, why are we going through two years? Is that really necessary? Can't we wrap up what we need to do…in a year? Sure, Nami's hair won't be as long, Zoro won't be as strong…and neither will have as high as unreachable body standards as they do after 2 years "training" …but the story doesn't end there.

And so, this has changed my timeline a bit. Not that it is rushing, but I honestly feel like this has been setting the scene for quite too long. HOWEVER, I think at least from my POV, the wait before has given you some nice, tasty rewards. You need to trust me, guys. All you need is a little faith…and the hope that I am not some vindictive writer who will not see this story through. I may be vindictive, but I WILL see this through. This, I solemnly swear.

FUN FACT: The tallest member of Team Straw Hat is Brook, at 8' 8 ½" – only beaten out by Jinbe (idk if I'm adding him in yet, cause technically I haven't caught up to OP that far). Then is Franky at 7' 10 ½", and then there is Robin at 6' 2 ½". I just find it funny they add these halves in there like that makes much of a difference. BUT anyway…then there is Zoro and Sanji (basically tied after time skip), Nami, and then finally Luffy.

The point I'm making is that how come all these Zorbin shippers forget that Robin is straight like a foot taller than Zoro. Like he would be tucked under her chin. I ain't about gender roles and "men need to be taller" – but like if you gonna be shipping, capitalize on height differences. I think that is extra precious? Another reason I ship FroBin, cause they basically giants…and I love these tall parents of the Straw Hat fam.

Alright, *drum roll please* you ready to see where Nami's been? What she's been doing? Huh? OOOOOO, get ready ya'll!

UPDATE: As I was adding all these songs into a Spotify playlist, so I could list on my way into work and let those creative juices flowing, I originally selected Come Back Home (Myd Remix) for this chapter…was used in Chapter 34 and I felt so dumb. SO. Then, I looked at my recently favorited songs and tried to find one I liked to fit back in…and so things changed slightly again…and I kinda liked the upbeat pop-y nature of the new song as it seemed to move the chapter a bit faster than I had originally planned #happyaccident

XoXo shipfiend