SUNSHINE POV

"I don't think I can do all this for another two months Benny." I told him over the phone, A month had passed now, and tryouts were starting tomorrow for the team but I was going a lot more grunt work than I thought I would be doing. "What started out as actually helping with the selection process has turned into a water boy job."

"At least it's a job, and you're on a ball field all day."

"Yeah raking it and carrying around buckets of baseballs, they don't even let me hit ground balls or anything." It was becoming increasingly annoying, I wasn't expecting to be a coach or anything but the fact that they seemed so impressed with me being female, and knowing how to play ball gave me hope that I would be involved. However, the coaches were just extremely old school and stuck in their ways, they were just like everyone else and didn't seem to think I had skills playing the game, just that I knew the rules. "The only good thing about it is they finally gave me a key to the diamond and equipment shed."

"So you can go out a practice? That's great."

"So long as I rake the field afterwards like I hadn't even been there."

"It's only for two more months Tone." Benny assured me, but already a month had passed and it didn't feel like time had flown by. I was stuck in the house with Clara, and the only people I knew either didn't respect me or thought I was a liar. Word had spread about what had happened to my dad and me in the Valley and like all rumours, they spread like wild fire and became very out of proportion. From some of the stories I had heard it was a shock that Coach O'Niall hadn't asked for some kind of background check on me. "Look I miss you and I love you, but I have to go into the shop today or my dad is going to lose his head." I sighed wishing we had more time to talk with one another.

"Okay, I love you too."

The receiver clicked letting me know that he had hung up the phone, and my heart sank. I was lonely here and I knew Benny missed me but he had the boys, boys who would be leaving soon for school but he had them for the time being. I was hoping that being with the coaches was going to keep me focused on something but it was only making me miss the sport even more.

It was hard to think that after this my baseball career was ending, I couldn't imagine playing with any other boys than the sandlot boys, and it was becoming evidently clear that I wouldn't have the opportunity to play with anyone else ever agin.

Two hundred, sixty three boys.

That was how many showed up to the Eagles tryouts, and about forty of those boys hadn't even filled out an application, they showed up with Daddy's money and waived it in my face as I signed them in like a bribe.

I didn't take it but apparently coach O'Niall was fine with accepting a few hundred dollar bills in exchange to send their child home after the first tryout.

"Listen up boys!" Coach O'Niall yelled out to them. "I am Head Coach O'Niall, and these are our other head coaches Paul Cedar and Mark Talent, and our assistant coaches, James Lainey and

Sid Willock. We will be evaluating you today and taking notes so don't be alarmed if you see us writing things down pointing at you. It can mean something great, or something terrible, so do your best not to be debating which one it is. That being said, even though there are only four of us and 263 of you that we don't see everything cause this here is Toni." I had been standing off to the side thinking that I wasn't going to be apart of this announcement. I awkwardly waved to the 263 heads that turned to look at the girl who had been running the sign in booth. "Toni is female as you can all see, but she will be joining you in your drills today. She will be floating from each station participating with you and then occasionally evaluating you just as we will. So be careful with what you say and do because she's gonna catch and see everything. Twenty minutes to warm up then meet back here!" He dismissed the boys and the large group took off into pairs to start throwing, taking up any space that they could.

I quickly walked over the the four men who were now deciding who was going to be where and at which time. "You didn't tell me I was going to be doing drills."

Coach Talent gave a smile and wink. "What did you think you were going to be off in the corner the entire time? Nah we're putting you to work."

"I just didn't think I was going to be actually participating." And I honestly didn't I thought I was going to be sitting at that stupid sign in booth and getting water all day.

James Lainey, who was a very large and red faced man piped up. "Well we kind of came up with the idea last night, that is if you think you can keep up with these guys?" He have a lighthearted smile but I knew that these men did not actually expect me to keep up with these boys. I felt as if their plan was to see how the boys would treat me, and the kinds of comments they would make when I screwed up. Would they be supportive or would they be rude and unsportsmanlike about it? The joke was on them though, cause now they were going to see how they reacted when a girl beat them at their own game.

"I think you should be worried about them keeping up with me." The men laughed at that and then pointed for me to go get my stuff.

"Hey." I said approaching one of the boys, he was short with reddish hair and a yankees jersey on. "A little three way?" I asked waving my glove. His face paled a little bit and then looked to his throwing partner who was now a good twenty yards away.

"Uh." He said looking back at me. "We're almost done." I took the hint, he didn't want to warm up with a girl, or maybe he didn't want to screw up in front of me, even if it was only warm up.

Either way he was not keen on having me join him, in fact none of the seven groups I asked were took keen on it.

They all had their excuses. "We're done." "We're throwing too far for warm up now." "Three way is going to be too confusing with this many people" It didn't matter.

I couldn't find Kenny in the mass hoard of people but it was fine, because by the time I had stretched out my arm anyways a bullhorn sounded calling us all back into the infield.

There were six stations.

ground balls. Field the ground ball from shortstop and throw it to first with a radar gun measuring how fats your throw was. Base running. As the fielders field ground balls there was a base runner being timed to run around the bases while avoiding the shortstop and first basemen. Fly balls. In the outfield there was three boys hitting fly balls to three lines of boys. Rest Station. Knowledge testing. At the bleachers there was a white board and a marker with Coach Lainey testing a the boys knowledge on both play strategy but as well as the rules. Dives and over the shoulder. Located on the other half of the outfield.

Pitching, catching and sliding was going to be at the end of the day.

I had decided to start with fielding, considering my outfield skills were laughable, I took my place at the front of the line, ready to field when I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"Back of the line princess, I'm number one on this team." It was Adam, the same Adam that had yelled at me on the field and then apologized for it.

"Get your hand off her Annex before I break 'em." Kenny's voice called out from the the middle of the line.

I shrugged off his large hand and turned to face him. "You wanna embarrass yourself sooner rather than later? Go right ahead."

I pushed past him to head to the back of the line, a chorus of "Oooooh's." Came from the boys behind us and it was clear that it wasn't sitting well with Adam.

"Tell me which coach did you sleep with in order to get your place in the coaching staff huh?"

"Hey watch your mouth!" This time Kenny stepped out of line and started towards him.

I stopped him quickly. "Kenny don't, you'll get kicked outta here if you start something."

It was then that the clank of the bat was heard and a baseball went flying into Adam's ankle knocking him to the ground. "What the fuck!?" He screamed grasping his foot and rolling to look

at the small redheaded boy who had hit the ball.

"They said to start, you should have been paying attention."

Angry and annoyed Adam forced himself to stand and limped his way to the back of the line to nurse his bruised ankle.

"Hey look at that, at least some people here have your back." Kenny smiled leading me to the back of a long lineup.

He was right, but two out of 200 and something wasn't the best odds, it was all the others that I was worried about.

I mean a Phillips and his team were one thing, but I don't know how I'm going to survive this many of them.

BENNY POV

"Benny-"

"Shut up and throw the ball!" I screamed at Smalls.

He looked down at the ball in his hands and sighed before dropping it on the mound and stepping off.

"Smalls throw the damn ball!" I snapped at him again.

Smalls had been helping me with batting practice every morning since Toni left, he wasn't the best pitcher but he was able to get it over the plate. "No Benny, you're killing yourself, you need

to relax or something."

I dropped the bat on the plate and glared at my friend. "Throw the fucking Ball Smalls."

"You haven't hit a single ball in days Benny, you're not just going to miraculously start hitting again."

"I'm going through a rut."

"You're going through Sunshine withdrawls."

"For the last time, her being gone has nothing to do with my game-"

"Yes it does!" Smalls yelled at me then, he had heard enough, and frankly I had heard enough from him as well. "Benny you're so upset with her being gone that you can't focus on it anymore. This is where you and Sunshine met, it's where you and her spent everyday together, it's where you and her based your entire relationship and now she's gone and now you're so depressed about it that you can't perform well!"

I had been on a decline, but I was in a rut, it was about time I had gotten into a rut.

A few years ago Sunshine couldn't throw a strike to save her life for about three days, and then there was that day when Squints couldn't hit either, and of course there was no forgetting when

Grover completely missed about twenty ground balls in a row and then broke one of our better bats.

But after a month, I was no longer hitting pathetic bobbles to the pitcher, I couldn't hit anything, and it was fine.

I was a good hitter and all the mechanics and years of practice didn't just leave my body, I was going to get back into the groove, but I wasn't going to if Smalls refused to throw the damn ball.

"Are you even listening to me?" Smalls demanded throwing down his glove, no, I wasn't.

"Are you going to pitch to me or am I going to have to ask Yeah yeah?" Frustrated Smalls threw his hands in the air and stomped his way to the dugout. "Oh, come on Smalls. Are you actually getting angry with me?"

"Yeah I am." He snapped like a four year old, he even went so far as to sit down and cross his arms, sulking.

"Why?"

"You're pissing me off."

"How?"

"Because everyone around you see's whats going on and we keep telling you but you won't listen to us. Then you get pissed off that you can't hit and we try again to tell you why and you ignore us!"

I made my way over to him. "Because Sunshine doesn't have anything to do with my ability to hit. I hit fine before I knew her, I was hitting fine when she first left-"

"Fine! Don't admit it, come here everyday for another month and miss a thousand balls and call it a rut."

"Fine I will." Now I was acting like the four year old.

"But can you at least admit it."

"Admit what?"

Smalls rolled his eyes at me. "Admit that it's not the same without her here. Admit that even though it's not affecting your batting, that Sunshine not being here does effect just everything in general?"

"Well of course it does, we don't have a pitcher and-" Smalls fist slammed down on the bench so hard that the layer of dust resting on it flew into the air, and startled me.

"Stop it! Stop talking about her like she was nothing more than just our pitcher. Pitcher's are replaced Benny, I don't know if its some kind of coping mechanism with you but stop identifying her as our pitcher. She was more than that, not only is she also your girlfriend but she is our friend. She is the person that kept us all in line, the one that patched us up when we were injured and the person that yelled at Ham and Squints for sexist remarks, and was the number one person against Grover's smoking. She is apart of the sandlot and we cannot replace her, position wise, sure but person wise, no. We can't do it, and we also need to stop acting like she's still here because she isn't and it sucks. Just admit it."

Smalls was right.

I was treating the situation like we had lost a pitcher, not our best friend and it was true, it messed with everything even people's habits. We need to stop acting like Sunshine is here when she's not. Sunshine being gone is something that I am trying to ignore, something that I felt like, if I was at the sandlot it wouldn't feel like she was gone. Sunshine affected all of us in a different way and she is my girlfriend. If I pictured her as just our pitcher, it made it a little more bearable to deal with but she was more than that and it was affecting me because of it.

"Okay."

Smalls eyes pierced a hole into my skull "Say it Benny."

"It's affecting me a lot more than I'm letting on." I didn't expect the words to have so much power over me, and I knew just how broken I felt after saying them when Smalls jumped off the bench to hug me. I didn't even notice I was crying until Smalls shirt was soaked.

SUNSHINE POV

"You are doing such a super job!" I swear on my life, if this child did not get away from me I was going to punch him. His name was Michael, as he had so enthusiastically mentioned, and was now following me around the field telling me how amazing and super, I was. I couldn't tell if it was genuine or not which is what made me angry, I mean the first six times he complimented me I took it in with charm, but now I was ready to tell him to fuck off.

It was a lot better than the threat I had received while walking to the dugout for a water break when a wonderful gentlemen snatched my arm and whispered. "If you get me rejected from this team, I will break your leg while you sleep."

There were plenty more colourful characters like him but the ones that were getting on my nerves the most were the ones attempting to be overly fake and friendly with me as though it would guarantee them a place on the team.

"Thanks." I muttered to him before taking a sip of my water.

"I really mean it. You don't see many girls on the baseball diamond, but you're showing up these guys here and-" It was then that the whistle had blow and Michael took off in a sprint towards the coaches.

It was like there were two sides to the tryouts, those that were happy to have me, and those that were pissed off.

Two boys had already been sent home, one for breaking his finger while fielding and the other was rumoured to have been seen stealing someones car keys.

"Hey! HEY!" someone yelled out. It was coming from the other side of the dugout, someone was yelling and waiving their arms in front of the building which contained the concession stand and bathrooms. "Hey somethings wrong with Coach O'Niall. Someone come here!"

"Boys stay put." The rest of the coaches took off towards the gate and I followed suit, they didn't tell me to stay where I was, and there was a possibility that I could help since I was almost positive I lived closer than anyone else here.

Coach O'Niall was sitting against the brick wall of the bathrooms and having a hard time keeping his eyes open, head rolled to the side and his face was bright red.

"Is he having a heart attack?' The boy demanded as he stared down at the coach.

Coach Cedar kneeled down next to him. "Hey, are you alright?" Only a mumble came from his lips. "God Damn it. Toby, go and see if the first aid kit has insulin. He's diabetic." Wide eyed and terrified Toby took off towards the dugout arms flailing as he ran and I suddenly remembered him running the bases earlier that day and making a mental note that Yeah Yeah was no longer the only boy who ran like a duck. "Hey stay awake okay?" Coach Talent was already dialling 911 to come and check up on him. "You forgot your insulin again didn't you?"

"Is he going to be okay?" I asked.

"Yeah he will, it's happened before." Toby came back something in hand.

"Here. Simmons also diabetic."

He handed the needle to Cedar who gladly took it and popped off the top of the clear tube it was in and pulled it out carefully inspecting the needle to make sure it was still usable.

"What are you waiting for? Stick it in his stomach!" Cedar waived off Toby's frantic yells and then gently started to untuck O'Niall's shirt.

It was then that something clicked within me. "Whoa wait, whose diabetic?"

"Simmons." Toby said eyes wide and glued to what was happening before him, I grasped his face in my hand forcing me to look at him. "Small kid, blonde hair?"

He nodded, my hand still holding his chin. "Built like a tank. Yeah, he's diabetic I was behind him when he injected it before tryouts and someone asked him what it was."

I let him go and launched myself towards Coach Cedar. "NO don't!" I yelled snatching the still capped needle from his hand.

"What the hell are you doing Spena?"

"It's not Insulin. The kid is on steroids."

"What?" He stood up and gave me a hard look, a look that told me that if I was wrong I might be messing with a mans life, but if I was right then I a investigation was going to be done strictly over my words. I stretched out my arm, keeping the needle as far away from coach O'Niall as if it could inject him from a three feet away.

"I'm telling you, it's not insulin. Toby go and see if anyone else knows what to do." Toby didn't run, he was too shocked and confused to move. 'NOW!" With another flash of fear in his eyes he took off, this time screaming for Gatorade.

"You know that is a serious accusation Toni-"

"I'm not making it up, you can test the kid if you want, but I can guarantee that he is not diabetic."

Toby arrived a few seconds later as Coach Cedar was debating whether or not I was telling the truth gatorade in hand. "What the hell is that for?" I demanded as he held it out to me.

"I don't know! Don't he need sugar?" Not wanting to explain how Insulin works both coach Cedar and I ignored him.

"Give me the needle. We're gonna have to have it tested, and no one let this Simmons kid leave until I get back."

When the paramedics arrived I, along with Toby and Coach Talent were sent back to inform the word on what was going on and that we were going to wait it out.

About ten minutes later the other coaches arrived back looking relieved.

"Coach O'Niall is going to be just fine, but we're going to knock off the rest of the tryouts for today and we'll see you all at the next one. Ryan Simmons, don't go anywhere we gotta talk to you."

Toby had already been spreading the rumour that Simmons was on steroids so it was no surprise as to why they needed him to stay. I felt a hand on my shoulder as everyone was clearing out.

It was Coach Cedar. "Hey. O'Niall got some insulin, he's gonna be okay. He's a little more perked up now, gonna be fine."

I let out the breath I didn't know I was holding. "That's great."

"We're getting the needle tested as well, I told coach O'Niall whats going on and he said thank you." I nodded not really needing the thanks but took it anyways. He took off to address Simmons then when he suddenly turned back around. "Oh yeah, he also said he owes you one."

Now that was something I could use.