Chapter 8

Anna doesn't often second-guess her decision not to drink alcohol, but tonight is one of those times. The appeal of an aid to help numb everything...she could see why hurt people indulged. Sometimes the pain gets to be unbearable. But she always had to remind herself that the pain meant she's still alive. And she wouldn't change that for the world. So any thoughts of changing her principles were quickly dashed as Anna gripped the steering wheel tighter.

It's just another Thursday.

Except everything is closed and the streets are empty. By this time families were boxing up the leftovers and breaking out the pumpkin pie. Anna loves pumpkin pie. Or at least she use to. It's been three years since she's eaten it. She's sure she would still love it, with extra whipped cream of course, but she never has any place to eat it.

It's just another Thursday.

She just keeps telling herself that.

Is it cliché to say that 'Holidays are the hardest'? She doesn't care. It's fucking true.

Thanksgiving was always her favorite. Turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing and the fucking pumpkin pie. She didn't like all the fancy green bean casserole or cranberry whatever. She stuck with the basics, the classics. Sometimes, in the grocery store, she'd pass by the boxed stuffing and her mouth would water at just the memory of her mother's stuffing. Her mom never used the boxed crap, and it had to actually be stuffed into the bird, but the sentiment was the same. It's the first time in three days that Anna actually felt hungry. Damn those memories. It had also been three days since she has seen anyone. This was the first time she had ventured out of the Palace since everyone left for home on Monday.

Are you sure? I swear puke doesn't bother me, we can bring a bunch of plastic bags and I'll wear one of those surgical face masks!

I don't think I could last in a car for six hours. I'm just going to stay here and watch Netflix, I'll be fine. Promise.

Anna doesn't know what drove her to lie to Rapunzel. No, wait, yes she does—she hated herself. A holiday dedicated to coming together with family and being thankful, and Anna would rather sit alone in a big empty house, feeling sorry for herself. The anxiety of being around a warm, happy family that wasn't hers was too much. And Anna couldn't go through with it. So she lied and said she had the flu. It wasn't that hard as Rapunzel was already packed for home so it's not like she had to keep up the charade for long. The other girls had left right after classes finished on Friday. But Rapunzel wanted to wait for the roads in Utah to improve before the pair left for her home state. Kristoff's flight home to Montana was early Saturday morning. He warned Anna ahead of time that his family was very festive and had a strict rule about cell phone during family time. But he promised he would try to text her when he was turning in each night.

She hadn't heard from him since Tuesday. How could she be mad at him? It just made her loneliness more apparent. And that's what drove her to the 24 hours storage facility at the edge of town. The entrance gate and internal building were all electronically automated so she wouldn't have to worry about holiday hours.

When she left Ahtohallan, she really left. Not wanting to deal with her childhood home, she only packed up a few things into a truck and drove it to Colorado. At the time it felt like enough. But now, raising the metal door to the ceiling, the storage unit looked sparse. The blue antique couch with the pattern that Anna had always loved sat in the middle of the small 'room'. Surrounding it was about fifteen or so boxes. And then, finally in the back, the big beautiful dining room table and chairs where they always ate Thanksgiving dinner. This was all that she had. So it was only appropriate to spend this particular evening here, with the only remains of her parents. The couch was covered in a thick plastic wrap so it crinkled loudly as Anna sat down. Being from the 1800s, it wasn't comfortable to begin with, but now Anna would be lucky if her joints didn't hurt in the morning. She just stared at the boxes for a while. She didn't know how long. She hadn't opened this stuff since she packed it up last summer.

With a deep sigh, she grabbed the closest one. It was stuff from her dad's office, mostly books, but some trinkets too. She never spent much time in his office, it was always dark and boring in there. But he liked his little desk toys so Anna kept them. The little ball clinker thing was the best. Her father had explained to her one time something about Newton and his laws...or something...but she just liked to clink them back and forth. The next box was her mom's jewelry. Anna knew this stuff was safer in a lock box at the bank but it never seemed to matter much. Her mother always had the perfect accessories—necklaces, tennis brackets, broaches, and of course the earrings. But Anna's finest memories are her mom wearing a t-shirt and baseball cap, nothing fancy. Opening one final compartment in an old jewelry box, Anna was met with the sight of a large diamond ring. She didn't even know this was in here. Her mother rarely wore her engagement ring and opted for the simple wedding band instead. It had been years since Anna had even seen it, but wow, it was beautiful. It was all silver with a large pear-shaped diamond in the middle, with a thin band with much smaller stones going around. Turning it around in her fingers, it still sparkled in the dingy light above her. Her left hand moved instinctively and placed the ring onto her right ring finger.

It fit perfectly. Anna hated that it did. She clenched her jaw to fight against the burning in her throat.

The next box was filled with photo albums and picture frames. Of fucking course. This time Anna didn't fight the overwhelming feeling of anguish as the tears started to fall. Why the fuck was she doing this to herself? A small part of her hoped that this would make her feel better, to look back at this stuff and remember how much love her parents gave her. But, although those feelings were there, the feeling of loss was overpowering. They would never see her play again. Her dad would never walk her down the aisle. They would never see their grandchildren. Sobs racked Anna's body as she ran head first into the pain. It was rare for her to completely and utterly break down like this anymore. She had gone through the mourning process and had come out the other side. Seeing a therapist helped. But she wasn't perfect. Her mind continued to flash scenes of the future that her parents would never see when the vibrating of her phone brought her back to the uncomfortable couch is the dusty storage unit.

Someone was calling her. When she looked down at the screen, Kristoff's stupid handsome face was staring back at her. She declined the call. Moments later, his face was flashing on the screen again. And again, she declined. Her phone stayed silent and Anna thought that was the end of it but then, not even two minute later, there he was again.

"Hi." She hated how her voice sounded.

"What's wrong?" She hated how his sounded more.

"Nothing." She cleared her throat but it didn't help.

"Anna-"

"I just need some time. Please." The last word barely audible. She sounded so weak.

"Ok...I'll be here."

"I know." And she did.

The moment Kristoff landed on Friday afternoon, he headed straight for The Palace. The women in his family loved Black Friday shopping and the flights were far cheaper that day so it only made sense to head back to school a little earlier than everyone else.

He didn't bother knocking. The only car in front of the house was Anna's Subaru. He would be lying if he said the phone conversation with Anna the night before hadn't affected him. Conversation was generous. He worried about her with the holiday coming up but she was going to Utah with Rapunzel and he trusted everything would be fine. When she didn't answer any of his texts Thanksgiving night or his first two calls the worry started to seep back in.

She was fine. She was with Rapunzel. He would just call her roommate to make sure. That wasn't crazy stalker status was it?

She didn't tell you? She got the flu and didn't think she could make the drive.

Bullshit.

And when she finally did answer...it chipped a piece of his heart. That wasn't the sound of someone with the flu. It was the sound of a girl who was broken. He found her in the kitchen. She was wearing leggings and an oversized shirt. His oversized shirt. When she looked up at him, its like that first breath after being underwater for too long.

"Hey-" his body was surrounding hers before she could get any other words out. He was so warm and strong and everything from the previous night instantly melted away. Anna's body responded in kind and she was putty in his hands.

"Hey," this time her voice was much softer as she gripped onto the back of his shirt. In a swift movement, he lifted her onto the kitchen island and sealed his mouth to hers. Securing his body in place between her legs, Anna indulged in the warmth that was Kristoff Bjorgman. Missing him hadn't helped her mental state the past week but him being here now helped fade all the darkness. As Anna playful bit his lower lip, Kristoff's hands roamed to the hem of her shirt and teased the bare skin at the small of her back. As his large hands drifted higher, Anna tightened her legs around his hips, pulling him dangerously close to her core. The kiss was fast and demanding and exactly what she needed. But before it could go any further, Kristoff moved his head back, "That's my shirt." His smirk made Anna's stomach flip.

Resisting the urge to whine at him stopping, Anna only winked, "It looks better on me though."

"That, I cannot argue." He placed one last firm kiss on her lips before pulling out of her grasp completely. Anna immediately felt the loss.

"So, how's that flu treatin' you?" All playfulness was gone from Kristoff's face and Anna suddenly felt cold all over.

"I know I shouldn't have lied. I just wanted to be alone." Shame slammed into her chest painfully.

"And how did that work out for you?" She knew he was referring to their phone call the previous night. And her mind flashed back to her, in the storage unit, a mess on the couch. She remained silent, not trusting her own voice at that point, but the look of embarrassment was hard to hide.

"Exactly."

When Kristoff took out his phone, Anna thought the conversation was over. She didn't really know what to think of it all, so she continued to stay silent. After a few furious swipes and screen tapping, Kristoff looked up, "Ok, it's done. Your flight is booked." Kristoff said finally, replacing his phone in his front pocket.

"What?" She definitely wasn't expecting him to say that.

"You're coming home with me for Christmas."

"What?" The volume of Anna's voice increased, confusion apparent.

Kristoff only smiled at her and returned to his previous position between her legs. This time his hands remained on the outside of her shirt. "Should I have asked first? Ok. Will you come home with me for Christmas? But know that the flight is non-refundable so…" Anna's mind was working overtime, and his warm hands rubbing circles on her back wasn't helping her focus. She could feel her face as it gaped at him but no words wanted to come out.

"But-but...How are your parents going to feel about you bringing home a random girl?"

Kristoff's laugh was loud and joyful, "Anna if you think I haven't told my parents about you, you're crazy." At those words he squeezed her sides and moved his forehead to hers, "They're dying to meet you." His voice was husky and the familiar feeling returned to her stomach.

"You—They are?" Anna searched his honeycomb eyes for any trace of a lie.

"You're a funny girl. I keep telling you exactly how I feel. This is the real deal Anna. I'm in this for the long haul." He grinned while snaking his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his chest.

Anna was speechless, her brain refused to work. "But...we aren't even boyfriend and girlfriend." Was that really the only thing you could think of in this moment? Idiot.

Kristoff stilled momentarily and then relaxed, "In all honesty, I already refer to you as my girlfriend, Anna. But I guess, I'm realizing now, that we've never really had 'the talk'. So here it goes…" Kristoff stepped back and held Anna's hand between both of his. He steeled his expression and asked, "Anna Agnarrsdottir, will you go steady with me?"

"Oh shut up." Anna rolled her eyes. Using his hold on her hands, she brought him back and molded her lips to his.

That was a good enough answer for him.