I didn't mind hospitals, some people hated them but I didn't find them that bad. The last time I had been in one was when I had broken my ankle and even at the age of twelve I didn't mind them.

The only thing I didn't like was that Clara had shown up.

"What did you do?" She demanded storming through the door.

"Who let you in?" I asked rolling my eyes.

"What did you do?" She asked again not even hearing me.

"Why do you assume I did something? Maybe I got hit by a car." She stared at me with those cold eyes, demanding an answer from me. I couldn't tell her that I hurt it playing ball, she would

have a field day with it. "I went to pick up something, it was heavier than I thought it was and tore my arm up."

"You expect me to believe that?"

"Well it's the story I'm sticking to." I snapped back at her, the amount of pain I was in coupled with her presence was not helping my attitude with her. "Seriously how did you get back here?"

I had specifically asked for Benny and Kenny, and demanded that Clara not be allowed back.

"I am your guardian."

"Like that means anything why are you even here? I figured you'd only show up to identify my body and sing while you did it." She glared at me.

"Will you shut up?!" She hissed. "People can hear you."

"I hope they can!" I yelled out earning a glare and a perfectly manicured hand over my mouth. It tasted like perfume and fake leather.

"Don't touch me!" I snarled pushing her hand away with my left arm. Raising my right hurt too much, it was in a sling against my chest and hurt like hell.

"Tell me what is going on!" Clara wasn't stupid, she knew I had done it playing baseball but I wasn't' going to give her the satisfaction of confirming it. I had X rays done before she arrived

and the doctor said it would be a little bit before she came back, they told me I wasn't allowed visitors yet when I asked for Kenny and Benny but apparently Clara was an exception.

I had to tell Clara something, at least then she would shut up about it and maybe even leave. "I had X rays done on my arm, that's all I know, that and that it hurts."

"Is it broken?" She genuinely sounded curious, not concerned but curious.

"No."

She scoffed, "How would you know?"

I rolled my eyes at her. "Because I've broken a bone before, remember? My ankle?"

"Oh I remember! I remember the bill for the cast. . . ." She trailed and her gaze became hard again. "How much is this going to cost?

"Do you actually think I know the answer to that?"

Clara opened her mouth to argue with me when the doctor came in, it was now time for her mother of the year act. "Oh thank goodness. Is she alright?"

"Well she's going to live." Doctor Doon said trying to lightening up the obvious tense air in the room. "But I do have some bad news."

"Oh no, what is it?" I had to give it to Clara she was one hell of an actress, though it was easy to be fake around people you didn't know.

"Your daughter-"

I cut her off. "Step daughter."

"Right, anyways, Toni you ripped your tendon."

"I did what?"

Doctor Doon sighed and placed the X ray on light up board to show me. "This is your MRI." Oh I guess it wasn't an X-ray. "See this, that's your tendon, it's torn here and-" I really wasn't listening to her, all I could see on the picture was shapes and colours I didn't know what any of it meant.

Clara sighed in fake relief. "So she'll be okay?"

"In time, but Toni you have to rest your arm okay? And I'll give you some medication for the pain."

"How long?" I eagerly asked.

"Tendons take a long time to heal, and they vary-"

"How long?" I asked again more forceful this time. The Doctor sighed and turned off the light board and took the picture down.

"I don't know Toni, a while, it could be weeks, it could be months, some people take years to be back to where they used to be."

I nearly choked. "Years? What. . . what about-" I couldn't finish with Clara looking at me the way she was, a look of concern and anger she wanted me to spill that I had been playing baseball, that I had done this to myself but I couldn't do it.

"Clara get out." I told her.

"Excuse me?"

I said it again. "Get out. I don't want you in here." I was getting worked up and I knew my attitude would just seem like a bratty teenager that didn't want to talk to her step mom but I needed to know the answer to my question.

"Actually it may be better if you stepped out. You can come see her later." Dr. Doon said and Clara flashed her a smile before heading out the door.

I turned on the Doctor right then. "How long before I can play ball again?"

"I need to discuss that with you. Toni, pitching is what did this to you, you put so much strain on your arm that you tendon ripped. Were there any signs telling you that something was wrong?" I thought back to all the times Benny screamed at me for pitching when my arm hurt, the amount of times he made me sit out of a game and ice my arm, and the countless times I told him it didn't hurt when it did.

"No." I lied.

She knew I was lying. "Toni everyone is built differently what one person can handle may not be what another person can."

"What's your point?" I was being a bitch I knew it but I was too frustrated to listen to a lecture and get a lesson on human anatomy.

"The healing process is slow, but Odds are even after it's over you won't be able to pitch again."

I felt nauseous, my stomach had dropped down to my feet and made them go numb, my mouth was dry and a pain built up in the back of my throat. Tears, the tears were building up and I had to swallow them down like when you swallow a pill dry. "What?"

"You can play baseball just not at the intensity you usually do. If you throw you'll be putting strain on it again and you'll cause more problems, on top of that it's going to hurt."

"But I'll eventually be one hundred percent better right?"

She sighed. "Toni, your one hundred percent caused this injury. I'm sorry but if you chose to play it's going to hurt and possibly cause more damage and just physiologically you're not going to be able to perform at your regular level, the body won't allow it."

The tears moved to my eyes and threatened to fall. "tell me you're lying."

"I'm sorry, I'm not." She was being sincere and she was being nice but I couldn't help the words that came out of my mouth.

"Fuck off!" It came out along with a river of tears."

"Toni-"

"Get the fuck out!" I wasn't going to be able to play this summer, no one knew how long I was going to be out for, but even when I healed I wasn't going to be able to pitch anymore. I wasn't going to be able to do the one thing I loved to do, the one thing that I was actually good at.

I had spent years hiding it from my dad, I snuck out, took abuse for it and did everything in my power to make sure I even got 10 minutes on the field.

I lost my fucking father for the game, and it was just ripped away from me.

I lost my chance to play the sport I loved, and my last time playing was trying to strike out a bunch of jerks, not even playing with my friends on the sandlot.

I had been sobbing, wracking my body with cries of despair and anguish, I knew the other patients and staff could hear me but no one came in to check on me. They knew they were the cries of a girl who was devastated and was not going cheer up with some consoling.

My life had been taken from me.

Benny didn't know what to say, neither did Kenny but at least Benny was keeping quite about it.

"Well you don't know for sure." I didn't say anything, Benny was holding my hand and giving me a saddened look, the kind of look that told me he understood the despair I was going

through. "I mean, you could heal in two weeks and be better right?"

"Kenny-"

"I'm just saying look on the positive side." Kenny was a glass half full kind of person, he was the person I called when things sucked and I needed someone to make the world seem like it wasn't so shit. Benny did a good job of it just by being there but Benny was practical, Kenny was ignorant and times, sometimes it was the best thing.

"We told the boys." Benny said sort of changing the subject. "I think Ham cried."

I breathed out a laugh. "No he didn't."

"No he didn't." He admitted with a small smile. "But he did swear a lot, Smalls might have cried, he's been emotional lately."

"Isn't he at school by now? Early admittance."

"Nah he's still got two weeks, but Timmy said he's been watching romance movies and is going all soft."

"Smalls can get softer?"

Benny smiled a little wider, having information that he knew would make me feel a little better. "He has a new girlfriend."

My brow furrowed but I smiled. "Before he goes off to school?"

"Well I guess she's not a girlfriend but he has been seeing her for a little while, doesn't know what he's gonna do when he's off at school. Apparently she really likes going to the movies and takes him along. It's summer a lot of summer romance movies out." I nodded in agreement, Kenny looked like he was going to jump out of his skin from excitement.

suddenly he burst. "Smalls had sex."

"What?" I nearly choked on my own spit when he said that. "No he didn't."

"He did! He told us!"

"He told you?"

"He tells Benny everything." I turned to look at Benny who shrugged.

Benny squeezed my hand "It happened a few days ago I guess. He wasn't really the one to tell me, Squints was, apparently she's okay friends with Wendy and she told her before he could tell the boys."

"What's her name?"

"Terah. Apparently nothing like Haley." Thank the lord, but Smalls having sex? It was weird to think about, he was so shy around girls, I would think it would be a while before he lost his virginity, I mean I guess I shouldn't be surprised but it was Smalls. The awkward and fidgety little boy we met was now having sex? Jesus.

"Is Clara gonna come back?" Kenny asked looking over his shoulder at the door way from his seat on my bed.

"You're the ones that told me she left."

"She did, but we don't know if she's coming back." I doubted it, she saw me, she pretended to be concerned and now I was sure she was gossiping with her friends.

"I doubt she'll be back."

"When can you leave this place? It's creepy here."

I sighed and shrugged. "They said at the end of the day, maybe I'm hoping so, I don't like just sitting here."

There was silence between the three of us, I could tell that Benny wanted to ask me something but didn't know how to. "What?" I asked looking at his handsome and concerned face.

"Have you thought about how to tell Coach?"

"I just figured if I showed up with this fucking sling then that would be enough."

"It probably will be." He agreed. "Think he'll be made."

"I don't really care what he'll be." And I didn't, if he was mad, I didn't care, if he was relieved I didn't care, the only thing I cared about was being able to play ball again.

"You know." Kenny said getting off the bed. "I think Clara is a racist."

Benny and I looked at one another. "Where the hell did that come from?" Benny asked.

"Well you know, she says all those things about you Benny."

"I don't think she's racist." I said. "Honestly I think she just says those things to piss me off and make Benny feel less of a person."

Kenny rolled his eyes. "That's racism."

"Maybe, but she doesn't say anything about anyone else, never said anything about you." Clara had a lot of things about her, and even though she treated Benny like a dog she never did say anything about anyone else.

"You can hate one race and not hate another."

"You're saying she hates Mexicans then?"

Benny narrowed his eyes at me playfully. "I'm not just Mexican."

"Fine, but you think she hates all the many different spanish speaking races?"

"Maybe."

I looked at Kenny carefully, he didn't look mad, he had encountered racism in his life as well, and he never really got too mad about it. He didn't look mad, but he looked intrigued.

"What does this have to do with anything?"

Kenny shrugged leaning over the front of my bed. "Look I know the Valley had very little racism because everyone has been there for years but this place is a little different. People can be racist but it doesn't sit well."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning, in the Valley everyone just assumes no one is racist, and no one says anything because they don't have anyone to discuss their opinions with. Here, people are racist and its happened a couple times, and when it did, jesus those people were all but castrated."

"Kenny, get to your point." Benny said.

"Look Clara is your biggest obstacle here right?" I nodded. "If we can get her to say something openly racist in front of people then you're gonna have a really easy time here. She'll be hated, and all the allegations she has on Benny will just be seen as her being racist."

"So you want to expose her as racist to get these allegations taken off of Benny?"

Kenny nodded. I trusted Kenny, I would trust him with my life but he wasn't the idea person on our team growing up. Sure Clara was a bitch, but did she really deserve to be labeled and tormented in this town? Maybe, but I still didn't want to be the one to be behind exposing someone for something they're not.

"I don't wanna do it." Benny said standing up from his chair beside my bed. "We can't ruin Clara's life without ruining Toni's. Plus," He looked down at me then back to Kenny. "I'm not really in on ruining someones life, Clara will get whats coming to her, and as things are right now, I'd rather not mess it up."

Benny was right, things were good at the moment, Clara wasn't really in my business, and she didn't even know Benny was here and the cops cure as hell weren't even looking for him anymore. "She'll be eighteen in a few weeks, it's not like Clara has any say on how she'll live her life then."

"Benny's right Kenny, I can stick it out for a few weeks. Thanks for caring so much though." Kenny didn't look disappointed but he did look a bit surprised.

"Alright."

I pushed myself up in the bed sitting up straighter. "The only thing I'm concerned about it this stupid thing." I pointed to the sling. "Any ideas on this?"

Benny thought about it for a second. "Ever thought about learning to pitch left handed?"

I scoffed. "How easy do you think that is to do?"

"Well you switch hit."

"Since I was a little kid Benny, I'm not gonna learn how to pitch opposite hand in a few weeks."

Kenny agreed. "Yeah, besides she might even screw up her other arm."

"Kenny shut up." Benny rolled his eyes. "It's worth a shot, either that or you're benched." Benny didn't mean to sound as cold as he did, and at the look in my eyes he immediately back tracked. "I'm sorry, it's just baseball isn't a sport where you kinda need an arm Toni."

"Well." Kenny said getting our attention. "Not necessarily." I tried to figure out what in the world was going through Kenny's head, but I couldn't think of a single position where you didn't have to throw the ball.