Clara did not cook, whether or not she knew how to or not was not really important, for as long as I had been living with Clara I had seen her cook four times and three of those times I was positive had been takeout she just reheated in the oven and one time I wasn't invited to eat with her and my dad.
As a matter of fact for as long as I could remember there was rarely any food in the kitchen and I would make meals with whatever I could find and leave notes for my dad to go grocery shopping and pretend that they were signed by Clara.
But when I walked into the house, there she was cooking away.
"Are boiling water to give the illusion that you're cooking?" I asked putting my bag down on the table.
"I thought you weren't coming home." She said turning to look at me.
"When did I say that?"
"When I told you not to come home tonight." She snapped moving to the fridge and pulling out a block of cheese.
I vaguely remembered her telling me something like that, though I tried to ignore most of what she said so I couldn't actually deny her ever saying that.
"Where exactly do you expect me to stay?" I asked.
"I don't care where you stay, have a sleep over, sleep in the park, go to the ball park I don't know! Just leave."
She didn't need to tell me why she wanted me away, she was having a man over and she was cooking for him, it was obvious, she had done the same thing when her and my dad first started dating. The kitchen was a disaster, there were overtures bottles and little traces of food scattered about, and I think she dropped a bottle of oil or something because there was towel soaking up something on the floor near the sink.
"I can't just sleep on a park bench." I said.
"You spend all day away from here, go and do whatever it is you do for a few more hours." I didn't bother telling her that the ball park was now locked and I would get in trouble with the security guard if I was found playing ball at night, the lights took up a lot of electricity and they didn't approve of my using it when we didn't have a game.
"So when can I come back?" I asked, I was too tired to fight with her, to remind her that this was my home as well and that I wasn't going anywhere but I didn't feel like being home when she was entertaining some guy.
"I said you can't!" she tried to grab something out of the pot with a pair of tongs but jumped back when the water bubbled and shot towards her. I picked up my backpack and took took off towards the door without another word.
It was only eight, and the sun hadn't even started to set yet and little kids were spending the last couple hours of daylight playing outside and running through the water that a broken fire hydrant was spewing out into the street.
Benny had dropped me off a few blocks away to make sure Clara didn't see him, I took off towards Kenny's house knowing that's probably where he went to.
I changed my mind halfway there and took off towards downtown, my stomach was grumbling and I didn't want to eat Kenny's parent's food while I was there, I would grab something quick and then use the Deli's phone to call him and tell him what happened.
Up the street a crowd had formed around something, or someone and I could hear yelling coming from the middle of it. My initial reaction was the turn and walk the other way but years playing with the sandlot boys left me walking quicker towards the crowd in order to see what was going on.
In the Valley a crowd of people usually meant on of the boys was in the middle of it, whether it be a fight, one of them doing something interesting or one of us was being embarrassed. Most of the time it was a fight.
I hadn't been expecting there to be two sandlot boys in the middle of the crowd yet again. Both Kenny and Benny were standing in the middle of the circle four other team members standing with them shouting at another group of boys on the other side.
"Hey what are the arguing about?" I asked a girl standing next to me.
"The team from Smiths Falls is here, they said something about the Eagles having a female coach."
"What?" I turned my attention back to the arguing boys and I realized that I didn't have to ask what they were arguing about, within a few seconds I could have guessed.
"What's she there for? The relieve tension after you all lose?"
"You're disgusting!" Kenny yelled at him. "You guys will say anything to avoid admitting that you lost to a team with a female coach."
"I thought she wasn't a coach?"
"She could strike anyone of you out."
"Oh I'm sure she could." One of the other team members said sarcastically. "How'd she get that sling on her arm? Throwing for the first time? Ow I hurt my arm throwing two pitches-"
"Even with her arm in a sling she could strike every last one of you Turkey's out!" Marcus replied to them.
I wanted to roll my eyes and curse all of them out at the same time. It was nice that the boys were defending me, even if it was only to protect themselves but it was also a story I had heard too many times.
Some ignorant boys made fun of me for playing ball or implied that I wasn't good just because I was a girl and the boys got into a fight over it. At a young age it was infuriating but now it was just annoying and juvenile, I didn't need to prove anything and neither did Benny or Kenny.
"No actually I know how she got her arm in a sling." A boy from the other team started a very vulgar hand gesture towards the boys and I saw Benny jump towards them but was held back by
Kenny and Adam.
"Shut your fucking mouth about her!"
"Oh it must be true then."
"Okay enough!" My voice travelled over the crowd and to the boys who heard me and turned in my direction. I elbowed my way through to the middle and crossed my arms, my sling had been removed and I was able to move my arm now but I was still warned not to throw for a while longer.
"Ah there she is, we mention hand jobs and she comes running!" Benny tried again to attack the boys but Kenny and Adam had a strong hold on him.
"Benny stop." I told him walking over and placing my hand on his shoulder. "Why do you care what these guys say? You guys beat them 14-3, their opinions don't mean anything."
"They shouldn't be talking crap about you."
"Nothing they have said is true." I reminded him, before turning towards the other team. "You don't have to respect me but using me as a way to insult these boys doesn't make any good arguments. Especially when your pitcher lets in eleven runs completely on his own, none of you can hit a change up and 20 out of 27 outs were strikeouts, 14 of which were strikeouts
looking."
The boys from the opposing team stared at me and it became obvious that they didn't believe that I was actually contributing something to the team and understood the game. It irked me —
knowing that the lack of respect not only involved people in town but also people who saw me at the games.
"My girl knows baseball." Benny said proudly.
I couldn't help myself. "Oh shut up Benny." I said turning around. "Look at ou guys falling into all of it. They're trying to piss you off, why are you letting them?!"
It was Adam that took the bold move to respond to me. "We're not going to let them talk bad about you."
"Oh so when it embarrass' you you come to my rescue." I rolled my eyes at him. "The only people to show me any respect on this team are Kenny and Benny. Don't start acting like you actually care about what these boys say about me. You only care what it means about you."
There was a silence that stretched, long enough to make everyone thing but not so long to be awkward, I was about to remind them that I was made a coach because I knew baseball when another boy from the other team piped up."All talk no bite."
"What do you want her to do? Hit you?"
"Put your money where your mouth is sweetheart." He said, I knew who this one was he was the catcher—something Poole, a decent player but it still wasn't saying much when he was playing with the boys he was.
I saw the spark in both of the sandlot boy's eyes. "No!" I pointed my finger at them, warning them not to take the bait. "Kenny, don't."
He didn't seem to be listening. "What are you thinking?"
I rushed over to Benny's side and pulled him slightly out of earshot. "Benny stop him." But Kenny was already negotiating the stakes. "I can't throw." I hissed.
"I know." Benny said not knowing what to do or say, the only thing more embarrassing than losing to these boys would be to deny their challenge because I couldn't throw.
"She doesn't have anything to prove." Adam spoke up, much to everyones surprise, this was his chance to watch me crumble and despite his apologizes I never actually believed that he was being sincere and still held this somewhat hatred for me. "Sunshine is an amazing ball player, and honestly you guys can't hit off us, I wouldn't be so adamant in embarrassing yourself by hitting against her." I was surprised at the use of my nickname.
"Besides." Benny said. "We can't go to the field, it's closed."
"Who said we needed a field?" Poole asked. "All we need is an open area."
I decided that honesty was probably the only way for me to get out of this. "Listen, you mentioned my sling earlier, I threw my arm out." I admitted. "I can't throw, at least not up to my
standard and I'm not about to go and ruin my arm for a petty bet."
The crowd around us had started to disperse becoming bored with the conversation between the two teams. "How convenient."
The conversation seemed to end there, no one snapped a witty remark and the other team seemed to be feeling awkward standing there with the details of the bet still in the air. They couldn't
challenge anyone but me, and I wasn't giving them the rage filled reactions that they wanted, my calm explanation completely put their anger induced comments at rest.
"We'll see the rest of you assholes on the field then."
Together the team left and we were left standing there thinking about what had just happened. I was annoyed that the boys had let them get under their skin and actually let me be the reason for it.
"You guys are idiots. What were you thinking getting into a fight with them in the street? What were you going to do? Hit them? Get suspended and then not have any team in the future want
you?"
"Hey." Cole said. "We were defending you."
I rolled my eyes. "You were defending yourself. I would prefer you guys not saying anything then causing a scene in the middle of the street." Don't get me wrong, I thought it was touching that they were standing up for me, Benny wouldn't let anyone say something bad about me, and when we were younger it was heroic and kind. Now it was coming off as childish, a group of young men yelling insults back and fourth in the middle of the street was hardly attractive.
I turned my attentions back to Benny. "You know I'm a good ball player, and I have never doubted it myself. You don't need to scream at someone just because they think the same thing everyone else does."
He seemed confused. "I'm not being funny, don't you want me to defend you?"
"Yes I do, but not like this. It always seems to end the same way, you yelling back and forth until finally I'm in the middle of some childish bet. Adam was right I don't have anything to prove, and right now I can't even prove anything." I indicated to my arm. "Defend me, don't start a fight."
After about ten minutes of discussing what to do next the boys decided to go their separate ways and both Kenny and Benny started apologizing to me.
"They kind of wanted to have a dinner with just the team." Kenny said.
"I already told you, I don't care." Growing up with the sandlot boys I learned a few things. Most of those things involved how to get into and out of trouble but I also learned that I was not a boy.
Meaning there were things that they could talk about and things that they wanted to do that I couldn't. Benny and I could talk about anything but I was sure that there were certain things he needed to just talk to the boys about.
They included me in everything but I did know that there were sleepovers that they had without me because no matter how understanding their parents were, there was no chance of a girl spending the night in their bedroom, no matter how innocent we were at the time.
I understood that sometimes the boys just wanted to hang out with the boys, I didn't like the fact that they kept it from me but it didn't bother me. I technically wasn't part of the team, I was part of the staff.
Benny and I walked hand in hand and Kenny kept up the rear babbling away about how stupid the other team were to confront them. He was trying to convince me that the confrontation was all their fault but I wasn't listening to him.
I actually hadn't been paying attention to anything, suddenly I was being pulled off the sidewalk and onto the grass of someones lawn as roared to a screeching halt beside us.
"There you guys are! We've been looking everywhere for you!" I had to do a double take with what I saw leaning out the windows.
"Ham? Squints. . . what the hell?" Benny couldn't believe it. The rest of the sandlot gang were sitting trying to lean in to be seen through the windows of the truck, all mashed together in the seats.
"Did. . . did you guys drive here?" Kenny asked equally surprised to see them.
"Kenny!" The boys screamed and jumped out of the car to give each of us a hug, babbling away about everything that was happening back home.
"Wait!" I called out as Grover hugged me, the smell of cigarettes filling my nostrils. "What the hell are you guys doing here?"
"Well we called but Clara obviously didn't tell you."
Benny sighed. "What are you doing here?"
"You're not happy to see us?" Squints teased.
"I'm just surprised, now tell me why you're here!" Benny exclaimed.
"We got some celebrating to do Benny!" Ham said a bright smile on his face. "Squints asked Wendy to marry him!" Our eyes went wide. Marriage? Squints? Already?
"She said yes?" Kenny asked.
Squints sighed and threw his hands in the air. "Yes she said yes! Why is that so hard for you idiots to process?"
"Well congratulations!" I yelled out hugging him tightly.
"So you guys drove all the way down here to tell us this?" Benny asked grinning and locking his arm around Squints neck.
"Heck no!" Grover laughed. "We got a bachelor party to celebrate!"