Small Steps

A sleepy kunoichi—nicknamed the Narcoleptic Ninja—has big dreams. Wanting to save her teammates Obito, Kakashi, as well as her sensei and his love, the sleepy kunoichi will have to work hard to see her dream come true. Reborn!OC

waking akemi-chan: koi

akemi: 6 years, 2 months

location: maple village (summer)

"Mooooorning—for the fifteenth time!"

The annoyed shout is followed with a swift hit in the rear. It ignites my urge to pee really badly, so I very reluctantly rise. Upon doing so, I somehow disentangled myself from my seven pillows and blanket. As I'm in a futon mattress, I roll off the uncomfortable thing and to the floor effortlessly.

Some vicious monster has my two, huge windows open, blinding me with the Sun's unrelenting fury.

"An-chan, don't be so dramatic."

A familiar face pops into view—my mom is staring down at me.

"Get up. Today, we won't have a lesson."

I want to be happy. However, I can hear the but in her sentence. I groan.

"Satoshi needs our help today!" my mom adds happily. "You know... your cousin? He would really appreciate it, An-chan. He's on a mission."

I groan louder. I can definitely fall asleep like this. My mom is fighting a losing battle.

However.

My stomach growls. I still need to use the bathroom. While I don't doubt I can fall asleep on the toilet, I'd prefer to not make my mom upset again.

"An-chan, if you're not up in an hour, no rice congee for a month," and she leaves my room just like that. No room to argue.

It's probably noon... yeah, I must be sleeping the day away.

Didn't I fall asleep at nine last night, though?

Rubbing my eyes, I clumsily refold the blanket and prop the fluffy pillows on the mattress. I pull the heavy brick into its side of the closet and shut the door. Along the way, I eye my windows and soon slide the blue curtains over the light.

Now my room is dimly lit. Excellent.

My room isn't anything exceptional—it's the smallest room in the house and the quickest room to run to starting at my parent's room. There isn't much of a mess to clean up nor is there any place in particular to collect a mess. When my mattress is put away, pale yellow walls and a tatami mat greet me. In the center of the room is a small table low to the floor, covered by a quilt Gramma knifted using my old shirts I got for birthdays but never wore and outgrew. The sitting cushions must be under the table because the top is covered with my homeschool books and homework preparing me for an average, official education.

My mom had me moving through the lessons quickly all because of the fact I processed them quickly. Well, mostly, not counting the language barrier. Because, for some reason, I know a language no one here speaks.

Well... supposedly... I might be reincarnated.

But that sounds really stupid.

I mean, I was sleeping for a long time. Years, even. I could have made that stuff up. After all, the things I know haven't even happened.

(Yet the things from the past are all true...)

At any rate, it's rather awkward having a mind who thinks it's an adult and having a body that operates like a toddler. I'm supposed to be six.

Well. Can't be helped.

I open the second half of the closet for my clothes. I never really go outside or do much of anything. My wardrobe is extremely limited because of it. Is it bad to admit I have more underwear than all my shirts, pants, and shoes combined?

My room is kinda hot, so I think it's hot outside. I pull on a sleeveless top and hand-me-down shorts that are too baggy even though they don't pass my knees. So I find an old ribbon and use that as my belt.

I shut door slowly, seeing my cozy and still warm PJ shirt hanging up.

I'll see you soon, I promise.

I evaluate my room one more time. If I clean up those books, I'll probably forget to do my homework. And my room is hot. I pull open the closest in dig into my trunk, pulling out the fan lying on top of countless knick knacks given to me over the years, each object still flawlessly intact. It's nice to look at them but I don't have much of an urge to interact with them.

I plug in the fan. Even on high, it doesn't do much. Still, it's better than before.

Content, I move to the bathroom the twins and I share. I never wait for the bathroom.

(Probably because everyone has already started their day.)

I do the bare minimum and ignore my messy hair. It's not as if I'm going anywhere major.

Finally I come downstairs to see my mom sweeping the kitchen floor. She smiles at me. "You look cute today! But your hair is so messy, An-chan."

"Breakfast," I say, as I don't really know what other words to say.

"It's pretty cold, but it's in the kitchen. You didn't take that long today."

It's because I slept early.

I take my plate full of everything I would've grabbed had we eaten together. I carry it straight pass the dining room to the stairs, where I proceed to eat and look out the window.

Maple Village is small. I mostly see our front yard covered in beautiful flowers Gramma planted and maple trees. An odd person or two walk down the sidewalk. They all look at our home with delighted faces.

"An-chan, don't fall asleep while eating!"

My mom's shout jolts me into wakefulness.

After I watch my mom clean the plate, she goes into her room and puts a hat on my head. "Today, you'll be in the backyard! It'll be fun!"

I adjust the floppy hat. "Huh."

My mom guides me out the door before a trace of sunlight could graze her snowy skin. I see the door close behind me. Her figure soon reappears in the window, smiling and cheering me on.

Huh.

"My little panda, come here!"

My grandmother, apparently very highly esteemed in my family, beckons me to her side. I obey. As I get closer, I see a huge hole in the ground. It's probably as deep as I am tall.

"You'll help your precious grandmother, hmm? She only needs you for a little while." Her face is shiny with sweat. The hat protects most of her skin, but her long gloves and dress block the rest of the sun touching her.

I watch her thoughtfully. The sun stings my arms and legs. I wouldn't dare wear something like this woman, though.

"Good. Now then... I need you to stand inside the hole. Ready?"

She raises and lowers me into the hole. I start to realize this hole isn't covered in dirt but something really tough. Well, looky here, three Akemi could fit into the hole from head to toe, going end to end. But I'm slightly taller than the hole. I can see my grandmother's toes she keeps covered.

My grandmother hands me a bag of multicolor pebbles I spread on the ground, then super soft sand, then little plants she pulls out a tiny tank—roots and everything. They take the most work and leave my back aching.

(I wanna sleep.)

I have to add oddly shaped seashells and small, harmless debris. Finally, this woman plucks me out the hole. On its side, she attaches a piece of bamboo paper with a black, calligraphic ideogram. I point to it.

"That's the Kanji for refreshing. Can you say that?"

I stare at the paper trying to recall her words. Then I attempt it.

And she laughs softly. "Very close. Let's say it slowly. Refreshing."

"Refreshing," I say, overemphasizing the four syllables.

"Very good! Can you say it again? Faster?"

"Refreshing." I kind of picture the ideogram for spring and imagine wind. And I keep mumbling that occasionally, trying to picture refreshing. Then I have to add so many stones all around the hole before my grandmother reveals another bamboo paper. This time, with a poof, water spills from it. It takes on a odd smell.

So I point to it and say, "Refreshing, water."

"Refreshing water," she amends, because all I did was slap two concepts together. That's not how this language works.

(Would've made sense in my language...)

"Refreshing water," I amend.

"Yes, the water has been filtered for our new friends," she continues gleefully.

New friends? Isn't this swimming pool a bit small? What's with the aquatic theme?

"Akemi's friends," I ask.

"Well, yes, my little red panda. But they're also everyone's friends. Can you name your family?"

Twice a week I always have to do this. So, sighing, I say, "Mother, father, cousin, cousin, aunt, grandmother."

I stick with the alternative naming scheme to address my family—the very objective and distant one. It's the first version I'd learn and is used a lot in reality.

But.

My grandmother is disappointed.

Her dark eyes seem to bore into my soul as she says, "That's very good, but you can't always call your mother or me that. Say Mom. And your cousins have names. Did you forget them again?"

Of course I forgot them.

I'm used to names like Adam or John or Mary...

"Sayaka is your cousin. The cute girl? Satoshi is her brother, the one who we're helping today."

I hunch my shoulders up. I'm going to always forget. I don't understand Japanese names and it's not like a year here is going to make me forget eighteen years there.

"We'll try again later, hm?"

I sigh.

The water is filled up. Once I see the fish food and a temperature gauge enter the water, I realize this is a pond. Why I of all people was required to help I have no idea.

But our work is done for now. We enjoy a cool lunch my mom made and I nap for a bit before I'm woken up.

The hair that tickles my nose is long and black.

My dad.

I peek over his shoulder to see his happily curved eyes and mouth. He steps outside and it's dusk. It's kinda hot but kinda chilly. He stops next to everyone.

My mom.

My aunt.

My grandmother.

My two cousins.

The boy twin is crouched over the pond, hands grasping something. His cheeks are colored, probably due to his uncontrollable smile.

His sister is also pretty happy, as she rocks on her feet.

"Three... two... one!"

The boy opens the top and waits. There's a lot of commotion. I don't get it. I struggle on my dad's back and he lets me down. Free, I look, too.

I don't see anything.

But the pond's dim lights turn on and I see beautiful fish swimming. Seven fish with seven different patterns.

"Akemi..."

I look up to see the girl twin grinning at me, bent to my height. She points to a fish, but I don't know which one. "That one with the red and white. It blends at a certain point and almost looks pink. Bro and I agreed that will be named Mom."

Mom, being the word my mom always urges me to say. Which I think is a little annoying, having to learn two separate names.

"That all black fish is Dad. You see that pale fish that keeps darting around like crazy? That's named Mommy—er, that's Auntie! And, um, there's a slow orange fish over there. Let's let that one be Grandmother! Then there's two fish that love playing with one another. The white one who's really friendly is Sayaka. The bigger fish she messes with is Satoshi. And the baby fish is Akemi. If you forget, I made a booklet!"

She hands me a small scroll. It's ordered from oldest to young. With every name comes a highly detailed drawing of the fish. It's unmistakable.

"Aaaa-keeee-miiii," my cousin singsongs, "it's been a year since you woke up, you know! You've never really asked for anything, or did anything, so it felt weird never doing anything for you. Bro and I figured we'd give you a small gift! You can see the koi pond from your room, from both windows—I checked! You don't have to be responsible for the fishies, but do visit them every so often, okay, Akemi? They love you as much as we do!"

So strange.

I never hear those words any more. I love you. Granted, the girl twin only used the like adjective, so it's not the same thing, but I never hear likes and loves. It's all about doing. My mom cooks good dinner, so that means she loves me. My aunt always returns with money or toys for me, so that means she loves me.

I really don't like that.

I miss when my old family (fake or not) would tell me I love you every night before I went to sleep. I miss free hugs without a trace of awkwardness. I miss my casual relationship with my family members, instead of all this formality and the expectation that I do good to provide for my family when they're older.

I guess... I just want out of this cage.

I don't want a tiny and pathetic body. I want my familiar body back.

What's the point in these dumb memories of this world? It's not going to matter.

"No matter how sick you get," the girl twin continues, "it won't matter. Even if you fall back asleep, it won't matter. I'll always love my little cousin."

(Huh... my heart...)

And here she is, breaking the box my family has constructed, looking through the cracks in the wall. She loves me. I can see the warmth in her eyes and face. I want her to say it again but I can't speak her language properly.

So I blurt, "Refreshing."

She giggles. "Oh, did Akemi learn a new word today? That's a good word! Refreshing! How about..."

Well that worked.

As she keeps blabbering on, I'm thinking hard. But there's no word that comes to me. Hearing is way different than speaking. But I want those words again. I want them.

(She won't listen to me unless I speak her language.)

There's only one word that comes to me, one word I know she'll understand. And then... maybe... she'll repeat those words again.

I practice the word inside my head three times before carefully saying, "Sayaka..."

"—but don't ever feed the fish at night!"

She pauses.

No, freezes is more like it.

She's understanding me.

I repeat two syllables I've already heard. It may not be correct, but if some meaning gets across, I'm happy.

"Sayaka," I repeat. "Like."

My heart beats fast.

It's just like old times.

Just like—

"Wh-What? What did you...?" She stares at me, eyes comically huge, as she slaps her palms on her cheeks. "Akemi? Did you... did you say my name? You didn't forget me? Y-Y-You..."

I wanted those words back.

What I get is a sobbing girl.

Sadness? Anger? Happiness? I have no clue.

It's kinda your fault.

(What am I supposed to do to fix it?)

"Sayaka..." I offer. "Like?"

She watches me, tears falling from her eyes like rain.

"You like me?"

The way she morphs my horrible sentences into something beautiful... I want that ability.

"You really do?" she says. "I thought... I always thought you didn't even know who Satoshi and I were. As soon as we were gone, nothing about us would stay. Mommy is like that... your dad... Grandmother... your mom sometimes. Do you know who I am, Akemi?"

This wasn't my goal at all. But. Now I feel really awful. The coldness seizes my stomach. I want to run away.

"Sayaka," I say.

She sniffles. "A-And my brother? Do you remember him, Akemi?"

No, not really.

"Toshi," I offer.

She claps her hands. "Very good! Yes, yes! And the fish! Do you remember? Which one is me—er, Sayaka?"

I think for few seconds, then I see a fish messing with another, bigger fish. I point to the former.

"That's Sayaka! That's it! Don't you forget, you hear me, Akemi? Please don't! I love you! I don't like being forgotten... I hate it so much..."

Oh, it worked.

Those words...

I'd be able to hear more if I... accepted these people?

Maybe I never heard those words because they felt like I'd just forget. Forget them all.

Maybe it hurt them to say I love you if I was just going to forget them later.

(Am I supposed to let go of my old world?)

(Should I be more scared? There's no point in dreaming for something gone forever.)

I want them to tell me I love you.

But.

I won't ever hear that unless I give them a reason to.

So I practice the words the girl twin said. My ears are on fire as I say, "I love you."

The girl twin... Sayaka had just stopped crying before she resumes.

She throws her arms around me, crushing me in her embrace, as she sobs over my shoulder. I can't see anything while pressed against her chest. I do feel her drumming heart and warmth and oh how I miss hugs.

It's dark outside when we all eat dinner together, as we do every other month or so. I'm sitting in between the twins this time, though, instead of in my mom's lap or my dad's lap.

Sayaka just keeps talking, even approaching words I don't know. I look up her brother... Toshi, I guess, for help, but he's too enchanted by his sister to pay attention. I decide to stand up, startling Sayaka and sit on top her pretty skirt, her petticoat, and her dark colored leggings. The distinction from my pale skin and he clothed legs are enough to make my eyes hurt from the brightness. As I take her spoon and shovel bits of meat, vegetables, and broth to my mouth—she was too busy talking to eat—Sayaka wraps her arms around my stomach. The food falls out the spoon as she hugs me tightly, squealing.

"Sayaka," I say, instantly drawing her attention. "No. Stop. Dinner."

I learned those phrases because I had heard them countless of times already.

Sayaka stares dumdfoundedly at me.

Meanwhile, Toshi is laughing, "I think Akemi is mad at you! You better stop, Sayaka, she wants dinner!"

I turn back to shovel more soup in my mouth when a bigger hand takes my spoon away.

"Akemi needs to be more polite, then! Say pretty please for me for me, Akemi! Or else I'll feed you myself!"

Oh my God.

I just want food.

Ignoring her, I snatch bowl and tips its contents into my mouth. Unfortunately, I move too slowly, as gravity suddenly drops all of the soup's contents on my face, in her lap, and on the floor.

I think everyone is saying Akemi, no! Stop! tonight.

Sayaka decides to bath with me under the watchful eye of my mom. I'm a little annoyed as it's her first time offering this. It's breaking my cycle. I always let my mom do the work so I can sleep. Sayaka keeps me awake by playing with toys and making up dumb myths and legends.

"...so don't ever feed the water spirits," she says, eyes mischievous. After an expectant second, she adds, "Not even the tiniest bit scared?"

"I think An-chan knows it's fake," says my mom. "Sometimes, she so quick to understand these things. Not even you or Satoshi could think like her until you were older."

"Is that so?" Sayaka regards me curiously. "I wonder what she thinks, Aunnie. Her expression never changes. Does Akemi feel anything?"

Why are they talking about me like I don't exist?

Or... I guess I shouldn't be able to understand their words.

"She most certainly does! Oh, she'll never smile or frown up, but she feels emotions, Sayaka," my mom says. "I'm always, always with her everyday. I watch her when she's not paying attention. I teach her daily. Akemi may not reveal much, but she feels everything. Like at dinner, she was very frustrated, not mad. You kept stopping her from eating. And, at the pond, she loved that hug... she really did..."

My mom's passion dwindles down to a whisper. I don't know why, but it pulls at my heart something terrible. I don't want to bathe any more.

Sayaka blinks and pats my mom's shoulder, saying, "Umm... shall we get out the water?"

My mom isn't completely present as she dries us off and helps me into my PJ shirt. As Sayaka goes to her brother to talk, my mom carries me to my room, now eerily dark. I help her take out the mattress, set up the blankets and pillows, and lie down. My mom tucks me in and smiles.

"Goodnight, Akemi. Sweet dreams," she says.

"Goodnight..."

Smiling a little less, she doesn't rise but says, "I... you... I love you."

Oh.

Oh.

I get all giddy and I start to repeat it but I know my mother isn't the name she likes me to say.

It feels odd to repeat Sayaka's words. I don't know know how else to communicate.

"Mom... I love you."

My mom... well... Mom starts to tremble and shake and I'm worried I've broken the delicate woman. Then she covers her face and sobs. I mean, loudly, too. I've only ever seen her bawl like this one time before: when I first woke up.

"Hanae, what happened? Is Akemi okay?"

"Aunnie, what's wrong?"

"Why is my Hanae crying...?"

Everyone enters my room without permission. I just kind of lie in my bed, still, as they all go comfort Mom. Somebody ruffles my messy hair.

Mom tries to put herself together. "H-Hey... I'm sorry I'm being obnoxious..."

My aunt pats her back. "It's okay, it's okay. Why were you crying? Did you get really sad again?"

Again?

"U-Ummm," Mom sniffles, "Akemi called me Mom..."

"Wait, she did?" my aunt sputters.

"Oh, Akemi," says Sayaka. "That koi pond was such a great idea, Satoshi! She's really starting to remember us clearly!"

Her twin nods. "I know! She'll remember all of us before long!"

"Yay," my dad says happily. "Mom is Akemi's first word. I thought it would have been Dad, but this makes me really happy."

"But—but, I gotta hit her," my aunt says—

What?

"No! Just change that vow of yours! Don't hit my baby girl!"

"She made you cry! I can't let that go!"

"Hisano!"

"Hanae!"

My aunt's fist grows closer and closer to my face. As much as my mom pulls, she's not strong enough to stop her.

I shut my eyes as her knuckles near my forehead.

My aunt strikes.

It hurts, yeah, but not a lot and not for long. It shouldn't even bruise.

I open my eyes to see my aunt exhausted.

"That'll show ya," she murmurs.

"That wasn't bad at all," Mom points out.

"I feel weird hitting a sick, weak kid," she shrugs.

"Is that the only thing that concerns you?"

I'm really, really tired. Today has been absolutely terrible.

"Akemi," I say, grabbing their attentions. "Goodnight."

And with that, I sleep.

small steps chapter -1 | koi

AN: Here is a flashback chapter while the next chapter is being written. I can't estimate how long it'll take, but I can at least publish something I've finished. Perhaps I'll delete it later.

Akemi's first year is a struggle. She's not happy, she's moody and she isolates herself and denies herself of attachments. She doesn't take the effort to learn about her family. She only uses them for knowledge so that she can catch up. However, Akemi hasn't been getting proper emotional and mental attention and its not like she can communicate that.

Sayaka helps Akemi understand that there's no point in sulking, because she can still derive the very same happiness she remembers from this new world. So she communicates the only way how, and Sayaka doesn't know how to take rhe sudden revelation.

After this point, Sayaka adores Akemi. For she was the first person who's name was called and the first person to receive an I love you. The second is her mother. (If you're curious, she tells her father and grandmother next with Hisano and Satoshi being the last duo.)

If you're really curious, here are some translations:

Akemi says: suzuyaka; suzuyaka mizu; haha (mother), chichi (father), soba (grandmother), etc; sayaka; sayaka suki; sayaka. dame. tomare. bangohan; kaa-san

Grandmother says: suzuyakana mizu yone

Sayaka says: atashi no koto... ga suki?; akemi no koto ga suki

Hanae says: akemi... ga suki wa.

Oh, and, most importantly, Akemi says: sayaka no koto... suki. and kaa-san no koto... suki.

To those who enjoyed the moon mission, what about do you like? I'll try to recreate it more. Is it the mystery, the absurdity/dreamlike appeal, strategy elements? Thanks!

*Nameless Thank you for your ideas and tips! I have my suspicions of his past. I definitely feel like he's an orphan as his family is never mentioned no indirectly referenced. I feel like he just might be poor.