The door slid open with a hiss, filling the ship with dull, artificial light. The ramp slowly extended, whirring so terribly that the whole hangar seemed to echo with the sound. So much for not making an entrance. The moment the ramp touched the ground, Sotoo appeared to sag, the last of its energy spent. Their brave little shuttle had faded at last. Bodhi's hand left the control panel but he didn't move forward, not yet.
The hangar was not as he remembered. There were only one or two people in the vast room; before he left it had been swarming with pilots and engineers alike. No one seemed to have registered their arrival. There was no army to greet them, no alarms blaring, no blasters aimed at their heads.
Bodhi glanced at Mara, wondering if she had any semblance of a plan because he certainly didn't. He hadn't actually thought about what they would do when they got back to base. Should they just walk into the mess hall and announce their arrival? Perhaps they should just slip back into life at the base and see if anyone actually noticed they'd been gone.
Mara wasn't sure what to do either. She felt drawn to the double doors on the other side of the hangar. Something was telling her to find Leia but she also felt a pull in the other direction and it was making it very hard to step away from Sotoo. Slowly, uncertainly, they walked down the ramp.
"Bodhi?"
The voice came from behind them. Mara didn't hesitate to grab Bodhi's arm and step in front of him, putting herself between him and their attacker. But the voice did not belong to a guard or the leader of an intimidating Rebel army, it was an engineer. She was short, round-faced, her dark hair tied up in an extraordinarily messy bun. Mara loosened her grip on Bodhi's arm. This woman would not hurt them, or at least, she would have no trouble stopping her if she tried, but she didn't expect Bodhi to smile at the sight of her.
"Yunlo?" He stepped around Mara and grabbed the engineer's hand, greeting her like an old friend. Bodhi hadn't anticipated being so pleased to see her. Perhaps it was because Yunlo was one of the only people on the base he could call an ally, or perhaps it was simply the relief of coming back to Yavin in one piece, even if it didn't feel like home.
"Where the kriff have you been?" Yunlo could hardly believe her eyes. She thought she'd recognised the ship as it soared into the hangar. Never in her wildest dreams did she think it could be Bodhi returning after all this time. She'd feared the worst. After weeks with no word, she thought they'd lost him forever.
Bodhi glanced at Mara. "It's a long story," he said quietly, giving Yunlo a look that promised he'd explain everything later when they had more time. Yunlo stared over his shoulder at Mara, who was beginning to feel uncomfortable and, strangely, a little left out.
"Is she the first Alderaanian?" Yunlo asked, looking Mara up and down nervously. She remembered how this woman had fallen onto Yavin 4 from the stars and still been strong enough to flatten an entire medical staff and commandeer a ship within the space of a few hours. Although, the woman standing before her didn't look nearly as ferocious and battle-scarred as the rumours described.
"First?" Mara repeated, feeling her heart rate pick up. Then she realised Yunlo was referring to Leia. For a moment, she'd allowed herself to believe that somehow, other Alderaanians might have survived, but that was impossible and the hope she felt was as fleeting as breath in the air on a cold day.
"Boy, is my girlfriend mad at you," Yunlo said, grinning at Mara in a way she wasn't entirely used to.
Much like Bodhi, this engineer seemed to speak with an inherent tongue-in-cheek humour. Mara blinked at her, confused. She wondered which of the many (most likely furious) people she'd met on Yavin 4 she could be referring to. A loud 'shunk' as the hangar door opened split the silence in two.
Yunlo pulled a face. "And so is the entire Rebellion army, by the looks of it."
The low rumble of pounding feet filled their ears and Mara and Bodhi turned to find twenty or so soldiers racing towards them across the hangar. Instinct told them to run, to jump back into Sotoo and make a break for it, but where could they go? As terrible as it was to think about, they were home now. The soldiers crowded around them, blocking their path to Sotoo and the hangar door.
"Hands in the air. Step away from the ship."
It all sounded very familiar. One of the soldiers placed a hand on Yunlo's shoulder and marched her away from the group, whether this was to keep her safe or to make sure she wouldn't get involved, Bodhi wasn't sure. He and Mara knew the drill. They raised their hands above their heads, staring down the Rebels. One broke away from the rest, they could tell from the medals colouring the front of her uniform that she was a very high-ranking officer. She looked at Bodhi, then Mara, her icy blue eyes boring right through them. At last, she gestured for the soldiers to lower their weapons but the threat was no less apparent.
"You've got a lot of explaining to do," the general said. It wasn't clear which of them she was talking to.
The base was unnervingly quiet. The air was close, like a thunderstorm was steadily approaching on the horizon. Even more unnerving was that there seemed to be no one around. The last time Bodhi had walked these halls, he had to move with the grace of a dancer just to make sure he didn't crash into anyone. The Rebels moved at an exhausting pace for hours on end, usually deep into the night, but now the halls were empty. In fact, apart from the few engineers they saw in the hangar and the soldiers marching them to Maker knows where, he hadn't seen a soul.
They passed by one of the few corridors he recognised and Bodhi knew they were near the refectory. That meant they were also close to the interrogation rooms and, more worryingly, the cells. Beneath the old temple that housed the base lay a system of tunnels converted into holding cells. They weren't often utilised, the Rebels weren't in the habit of taking prisoners alive, but Bodhi had heard many stories about how cold it was down there and how dank and lonely the cells could be.
They were led through a door to a little room, fringed with a couple of chairs and a caf machine. Here, the small army that had accompanied them was dismissed. They were just a precaution then, to see if Mara would put up a fight. A whole army for one woman. Bodhi couldn't help but feel immensely proud. He was asked to take a seat and he did so without argument. A cadet was posted to his side, just in case he got any stupid ideas about running away. Bodhi almost snorted at the idea. How could he possibly hope to get out of this mess? The base was armed to the teeth; he could barely shoot a blaster. Even if he had some ingenious scheme to escape, he wouldn't leave Mara.
The general opened the door and asked Mara to follow her. Bodhi noted that they treated her with a certain level of courtesy he knew they would not afford him. She was Princess Leia Organa's personal guard after all. Mara hesitated. She didn't like the idea of being separated. She met Bodhi's eyes, trying to convey her feelings with just a look. He gave her an encouraging smile.
"It's alright, Mar. See you on the other side," he said, nodding his head to show that everything was alright. Mara held his gaze for a moment. He wouldn't say she looked frightened but he knew she liked the idea of leaving him about as much as he did. When at last Mara turned to face whatever was through the door, he saw that her mask had fallen over her face again. Her eyes were stern, her chin raised. She was Captain Verbanti again. When the door closed behind her, Bodhi felt a snap in his chest, like the tie between them had been severed.
Mara stood quietly whilst she was searched. They didn't pull her about too much. She was glad, after the journey she'd had, she was irritable and liable to punch. If any of these people so much as trod on her foot, she knew she'd probably end up sending them to the medcentre, which really wouldn't help their case. The general sat down at a square desk in the centre of the room and gestured for Mara to take a seat on the opposite side. As she did so, the two guards that had accompanied them left the room. They were alone.
"Captain Verbanti. We didn't get the chance to be introduced the last time you were here. You left in quite the hurry."
The general gave her a somewhat forced smile. Mara did not return it.
"Where's Leia?"
"She's safe."
That wasn't an answer. Mara gritted her teeth impatiently. How long was she supposed to sit here and be talked at before they let her go?
"My name is General Enlia Hesse. I'm sorry about Alderaan. If there was anything we could've done-"
"Where is the princess?" Mara pressed, placing her palms flat on the desk. Her hands were bruised and filthy, a symbol of all she'd been through. General Hesse's impassive expression softened, if only for a moment.
"You'll see her soon, I promise," she said.
Mara didn't believe her but it would do for now. There was nothing these people could do to stop her looking for the princess the second she was out of this room.
"You've had a very long trip, Captain. I'm sure you'd like to rest but I'm afraid I have some questions for you before you can leave."
"What is there to ask? I made a mess of your medcentre, I stole a ship... I apologise. There's nothing that-"
"But you didn't steal a ship, did you?" The general cut in. "You had help."
At last, the penny dropped. Mara closed her mouth. So that was it. That was why she was in here and not out there with Leia. When the general spoke again, her voice was flat, toneless.
"Did Bodhi Rook force you to leave Yavin 4 with him?"
Mara would've laughed if the situation weren't quite so dire. No one, not even Bodhi, could force her to do anything she didn't want to do. "No, he didn't."
"Captain, I want you to think very carefully before you answer."
Interestingly, the general didn't appear to be accusing Bodhi. She hadn't already made up her mind, she only wanted the facts, and yet Mara had an awful feeling that Bodhi's life on Yavin 4 was hanging in the balance.
"I don't need to," she said, trying to remain calm. "Bodhi didn't force me to do anything. I forced him." The general looked neither placated nor unconvinced which concerned Mara greatly. She leaned forwards across the table. This was her one chance to assure them of Bodhi's innocence, she couldn't waste it. She couldn't let them hurt him. "Listen to me, Bodhi is a good man. He helped me get home. He helped me find Leia."
Hesse mulled this over, her head tilted at an aggravatingly patronising angle. "General Monnim sent word of your arrival on Sarka. He said that you aided him on the demilitarisation mission."
"We both did."
"Captain Verbanti," the general sighed, rubbing her tired eyes. This war had taken a toll on her. She hadn't eaten in days, she hadn't slept in weeks. The Death Star was hours away and she'd been ordered to quibble over the life of one man. She didn't want to have this conversation any more than Mara did. "Do you trust Bodhi Rook?"
A few weeks ago, Mara might've had to think for a few moments before answering, but now it was the easiest word she'd ever uttered in her entire life. "Yes."
"You know who he is? What he's done?"
"Yes."
"And you still trust him?"
"With my life."
That was apparently just the answer General Hesse was looking for. She almost smiled as she gave Mara a polite nod.
"Thank you, Captain. That will be all for now."
When Mara stepped out of the interrogation room, Bodhi rose to his feet so quickly that it made the cadet guarding him stumble. He asked if she was alright, if they'd done or said anything to hurt her, and Mara answered all his questions in a hushed voice, keeping one eye on the general as she followed her out into the waiting area. Bodhi assumed he would be next but the general said they were both allowed to leave. She asked that they not go too far though, just in case they needed to ask more questions. Mara and Bodhi were frankly a little bewildered. They were letting them go? Just like that? As shocked as they were, they knew not to look a gift fathier in the mouth and followed the few remaining soldiers out of the interrogation room without a word.
The cadet who'd been tasked with watching Bodhi whilst Mara was questioned was ordered to take them to the medcentre. It was standard procedure, they had to make sure that they hadn't brought back any exotic diseases with them to Yavin 4. The cadet, whose name, they were told, was Quinn, asked them to follow him. He walked at an impressive pace, his feet almost a blur. Mara and Bodhi had trouble keeping up with him. As they were led through the base, they passed imposing war rooms, the barracks where most of the Rebels slept, and stupefyingly large warehouses, yet they still didn't see a single person.
"Where is everyone?" Bodhi asked, finding he was almost out of breath from trying to match Quinn's speed. The cadet, who could only have been eighteen at the most, gave him a funny look, as if he'd just asked an extremely stupid question.
"Praying, most likely," he said. "Why do you think you got off so lightly? Everyone's getting ready for the battle."
"Battle?" Mara repeated, glancing nervously at Bodhi.
Quinn nodded, jabbing a thumb towards the room they were about to pass by. "The Death Star's coming. Soon."
Mara slowed her pace a little to investigate and found he had gestured towards what looked like a war room briefing area. The room was crammed with starpilots, navigators, senators, and a sprinkling of R2-type droids. Everyone appeared to be listening intently to an ageing man stood before a large electronic wall display. Mara had little interest in war so she turned away from the room. As they continued down the corridor after Quinn, she caught snatches of the tactics being devised.
"The battle station is heavily shielded and carries a firepower greater than half the starfleet. Its defences are designed around a direct large-scale assault. A small one-man fighter should be able to penetrate the outer defence."
"Pardon me for asking, sir, but what good are snub fighters going to be against that?"
"Well, the Empire doesn't consider a small one-man fighter to be any threat, or they'd have a tighter defence. An analysis of the plans provided by Princess Leia has demonstrated a weakness in the battle station."
Mara stopped dead in her tracks. For a moment, she forgot how to breathe. The rest of the world seemed to blur away to nothing, all she could hear was the faint echo of Leia's name in her head and the sound of her own footsteps as she hurried back down the corridor. She stood in front of the briefing area, resisting the urge to press her face right up against the glass. The older man was still regaling the pilots with their plan of attack but Mara wasn't listening anymore. She cast her eyes around the room till at last, there she was.
"Leia..." She was standing with a group of others, watching the Death Star plans warp and shift on the screen, plans Mara now knew Bodhi had helped obtain. Leia looked just the same as the last time she saw her, she was even still wearing the same white dress. Mara's heart ached to see that her hair was up in a traditional Alderaanian style. There she was. There was Leia.
"Hey, Cap, we gotta keep moving!" Quinn called to her from down the corridor. He and Bodhi were watching her curiously. Mara pointed into the war room.
"I have to talk to the princess."
At this, Bodhi's concerned expression dissolved into shock. He made to join her at the window, he knew how much this meant to her, but Quinn put a hand out to stop him.
"The princess is in a briefing."
"You don't understand..." Mara breathed, turning back to look at Leia. She was right there. After all this time, after all the pain and fear, she was no less than a few feet away. There was just a sheet of glass separating them.
Bodhi pushed past the hand Quinn had put out to stop him and stood by Mara's side. For a moment, the sight of the pilots getting ready to fight and the revolving Death Star plans up on the screen made his stomach twist, but he turned away, focusing on Mara. Her face was pale. She looked torn.
"Mara, it's alright," he said gently. It would be better if they did what they were told. They were lucky to get off so easily, they couldn't do or say anything that would plunge them into deeper trouble.
Mara knew this too. She wasn't used to being ordered around by anyone other than her mother but she knew Bodhi had her best interest at heart. He took her hand, his fingers weaving between hers.
"We'll find her later," he murmured, glancing fearfully at Quinn to find he was growing more and more impatient. Bodhi squeezed Mara's hand, leaning close so that his breath brushed against her skin as he spoke by her ear. "We'll find her, I promise."
"Please, Captain. You need to come with me," Quinn pressed, glancing nervously at the timekeeper at his wrist. The general had asked him to report back as soon as he'd taken the new arrivals to the medcentre and he didn't want to look as if he'd dawdled.
For the first time in her life, Mara didn't know what to do. Everything felt different, not wrong just... Different. It was like her entire world had shifted ever so slightly. She didn't feel the way she thought she would. She thought seeing Leia again would bring back her instinctual need to be by her side, but looking at the princess now, she didn't feel that painful tug in her chest, her skin did not crawl at the thought of being far from her. In fact, she felt nothing at all. The cord that had connected them since the moment Leia arrived on Alderaan had at last been gently broken, the fraying ends tucked away into their respective hearts.
Leia looked so at home amongst the senators and the counsellors. She truly was her father's daughter. The princess had found a new home for herself here with these Rebels. Leia didn't need protecting, not anymore. Mara smiled, letting memories of a little girl play in her mind for a while. Without her planet, without a Royal Family, Mara wasn't needed anymore. She had no home, no family, but then, she hadn't had either of those things before Alderaan was destroyed. The thought of being purposeless did not scare her, in fact, she felt free. Mara turned to Bodhi and nodded slowly. It was time to go.
Quinn led them down familiar hallways until they finally arrived at the medcentre. It hadn't changed much in their absence, although it was perhaps less busy than before. As Bodhi followed the cadet down the ward, he glanced at the beds he used to visit, now empty. Jyn and Cassian were no longer patients. He prayed it was happy news, that they were out amongst the Rebels preparing for the fight or, preferably, recuperating in their quarters.
Mara and Bodhi were ordered to stay in the same cubicle despite there being more than enough free beds for them to take one each. As Quinn left to find a doctor, Mara wondered if it was to make it easier to keep an eye on them. Bodhi smiled, suggesting that it was probably because they weren't worth two beds. Mara began to laugh, reaching out and placing her hand on his arm as she tilted her head back.
Bodhi was so happy just watching her enjoy herself that he didn't notice Quinn returning with a doctor. The cadet cleared his throat to get their attention. His face was stony, clearly irritated that they could be having a good time when they were supposed to be violent criminals who'd barely been allowed back onto Yavin 4. Mara and Bodhi hardly paid him any attention, they were more interested in the doctor he'd found.
"Itzpalo?"
There she was, their friend, beaming away at them in a new uniform.
"You made it then." She grinned as she patted Quinn's shoulder, making the poor cadet stumble a little. "It's alright, kid, I can take it from here."
Quinn seemed less than pleased about leaving them unattended but he'd seen his orders through, they weren't his problem anymore. He left without saying goodbye.
Itzpalo turned to her latest patients, still grinning wickedly. "I was worried you two had got lost," she teased, making Mara and Bodhi exchange a bashful glance. They had wondered if any of their new friends from Sarka would ask why they'd arrived so late. Thankfully, Itzpalo didn't push it, at least not at the moment. She had work to do and other patients to see to, returning to Yavin 4 on the eve of a great battle was quite the baptism of fire. She patted the bed then pointed at Bodhi. "Come on, then. Once more, for old times' sake."
Itzpalo's check-up was thorough but was over quickly. She'd given Bodhi a clean bill of health only two days ago, she'd be surprised if he'd managed to get himself into trouble in such a short time. There were far more resources on Yavin 4 than Sarka, however, so she gave him some bacta patches for the last few cuts and scrapes from his tumble over the temple walkway that had yet to fade, and a few tiny, green tablets that would help with any pain his prosthetic arm caused him. Itzpalo let him slide off the gurney, jokingly offering him a sweet for his good behaviour, which he rolled his eyes at.
"I'll be right back," Bodhi said to Mara as she jumped up onto the bed for her turn. "I'm just going to get changed. Do you want me to see if I can find you some clothes?"
Mara took one look at his face and knew he wasn't really asking, though he was being very polite about it. They'd been wearing the same clothes for weeks, they both smelt like a rancor's nest. "Thanks, Bodhi."
He smiled and bent down to press a kiss to the top of her head, then left the medcentre. Mara watched him go, hardly able to contain her joy. He'd kissed her again, like it was nothing, like it was the easiest thing in the world. She wondered if it would become a regular thing. She hoped it would.
"Have you seen the princess yet?" Itzpalo asked, bringing her attention back.
Mara's smiled faded a little. "I got a glimpse of her. I doubt they'll let me see her until after the battle."
Itzpalo nodded. She seemed to understand that it was a difficult subject despite not having all the facts. She snapped on some clean gloves and drew the curtain around their cubicle, hiding them from the rest of the ward so that Mara could remove her shirt in privacy.
"Leia is in her element. She's a strong leader."
Mara smiled fondly. She was so proud of Leia, she knew her parents would be too. She just wished they could be here to see her lead. Mara sat up straight so that Itzpalo could peel back the bandages from around her middle. Her injuries seemed to be healing nicely, the bacta had worked wonders. Mara no longer felt any pain but she had a faint scar across the right side of her stomach. She didn't mind, it was just one of many that scattered her body.
As Itzpalo prodded at her ribs to make sure they had healed properly, Mara turned her attention to the ward. Through a small crack in the curtain, she could see a sliver of the bed across from hers but little else. A sudden raised voice cut through the usual monotonous hum. It was a nurse probably, telling someone that they weren't allowed in the medcentre. It was enough to make Itzpalo look up from Mara's ribs. She frowned and moved the curtain aside a little so that she could peer out without exposing Mara. Itzpalo chuckled at what she saw. She turned and, seeing the curious look on Mara's face, nodded towards the ward.
"You have a visitor."
Mara barely had a chance to ask what she meant when the curtain was pushed aside from the outside and the tallest droid she'd ever seen stepped into the cubicle. It was a KX-series security droid originally built for the Empire's armed forces. It had to be seven foot tall at least, with almost gangly looking limbs and a rounded head. On the black plating at its left arm, an Imperial stamp had been scraped away, faint but still visible.
"You must be K-2SO," Mara realised, beginning to smile. "I've heard a lot about you." When the droid didn't say anything, Mara added, in an attempt to befriend it. "You know, Bodhi and I named our ship after you."
"You must be Maranellia," the droid said, as if it hadn't been listening to a word she said.
Mara stared at it, then turned to Itzpalo. "I'm going to kill him."
"Bodhi sent me to... Check on you," K2 continued, ignoring her again.
Mara could feel Itzpalo's eyes on her but she didn't care. She thought it was about time she started being kinder to herself. Mara allowed herself to smile, to enjoy the pounding of her heart and the butterflies in her stomach. Bodhi thought about her even when she wasn't with him, he worried about her, he cared about her. Suddenly, all Mara wanted was to see him again. She wondered what it meant, this feeling of always wanting to be with him. She'd never known anything like it.
"Would you mind waiting outside?" Itzpalo asked the droid, glancing worriedly between where its head kept bumping into the curtain rail and its long arms knocked her tray of equipment. "I'm not quite finished yet."
"Bodhi was adamant that I watch her," K2 stated matter-of-factly.
Mara found herself rather amused by its sardonic tone and wondered if it had been programmed that way or if K-2SO had somehow developed a personality all by itself.
"You can watch from the door," Itzpalo said, already pulling at the curtain, hoping to persuade the droid back out into the ward.
K2 had no expression but Mara knew if it did, it would be looking very annoyed and a little confused. "It's fine," she said. "I don't need watching. I'll deal with Bodhi." To her amusement, K2 didn't need much more convincing than that. It did what she could only imagine was the droid version of a shrug then turned and lumbered out of the medcentre. Mara laughed as she watched it leave. "Personality powerhouse, that one. I'm glad we named the shuttle after it."
Itzpalo shook her head exasperatedly and pulled the curtain back into place. She told Mara that she could get dressed again then gathered up her equipment to give her a general once-over now that her more dire injuries had been seen to.
"So, where were you two? We thought you'd arrive back about the same time as us. Thess was worried."
Mara winced as the cold pad of Itzpalo's stethoscope pressed against her chest, smarting her skin. "We took a detour," she said quietly, wondering if she should tell the doctor about their little trip to Naboo. It felt like a secret, like it was only hers and Bodhi's. She had never felt as happy as she did lying in that tall, soft grass, the warm sun seeping over her skin. But Mara liked Itzpalo a lot and she wanted them to be friends. She needed someone to share things with, to help her navigate these feelings she'd never experienced before, and Itzpalo already knew her so well, she trusted the doctor completely.
So Mara told her all about Naboo, how Bodhi had brought them to an idyllic spot he thought might remind her of home, how they laid in the sunlight and dreamed a little, letting their fears and sorrows seep out of them and into the earth. Then Mara told her what Bodhi had said, how he thought she was beautiful, how she'd kissed his cheek and hadn't been able to think about much else since, how he held her hand when they landed on Yavin 4 because he knew she was afraid. Itzpalo didn't say a word, she just listened as she continued her examination. When Mara was finished, she smiled.
"He's a good man. You must really care about each other, especially after everything you've been through."
"He is a good man," Mara said, grinning now even though Itzpalo was shining a light in her eye. "The greatest."
"And very kind. Brave. Handsome..."
"Itzpalo."
"I'm just repeating what I've heard! A lot of people have their eyes on him too, you know."
"They do?" That surprised Mara, though she wasn't sure why. Bodhi was handsome, kind and gentle, she could understand why anyone would like him. Still, a curl of fear bloomed in her stomach, like a drop of blood in water. What if Bodhi liked someone else? What if she wasn't good enough? What if he didn't care about her after all?
"A defected Imperial pilot who risks everything to fight for the Rebellion can cause quite the stir," Itzpalo went on, turning away to write something down in her notes. "He's a hero to many." Mara nodded to herself. She was pleased that others recognised how much he'd sacrificed for the Rebellion, that they saw him for who he truly was, not a cowardly Imperial drone, but a man with few options just trying to do what was right.
"And to me," she whispered. Itzpalo glanced up from her notes. Mara felt her face heat up when she saw her triumphant smile.
"So you do care about him?" Mara was glad Itzpalo was no longer listening to her chest because her heart was beating so hard, she was sure it'd break her stethoscope. That was the big question. Mara had lived a life stripped of feeling, of attachments, now suddenly she was allowed to speak and think and act autonomously and she wasn't sure what to do with all this new freedom. It was a terrifying prospect, the idea of trusting somebody that much, the idea of being so vulnerable, of allowing them in... But strangely, the more she thought about Bodhi, the more she realised that she wasn't frightened at all.
"Yes," Mara said, her heart in her throat. "Yes, I do." Itzpalo didn't say anything more, she seemed satisfied for the moment. She turned to put away her equipment, her examination over, leaving Mara to come to terms with what she had just admitted. She found that she wasn't the least bit frightened, perhaps a little embarrassed, but there was no going back now. In fact, it felt like a weight had lifted from her shoulders, the emotions she'd kept close to her chest for so many years were finally seeing the light of day. "'Palo..." Mara began quietly, curiously. "Bodhi does this thing when he laughs where he throws his head back and he..." She grinned, her heart full of fireworks. "Maker, he's got eyes like stars. And I get this feeling when I look at him... Like I'm home. Which is bizarre because I've never... I've never felt at home anywhere."
Itzpalo could only smile. She'd never seen someone look so relieved to finally speak their mind. Mara smiled too. It felt good to talk, to share. She had almost died, she'd lost everything important to her, and now there was a road stretching ahead of her that she never thought she would tread. Everything was new, everything was unknown, Mara could at least start by being truthful about how she felt.
"You belong with each other," Itzpalo said, lowering her voice. "To each other."
She nodded in the direction of the medcentre entrance and Mara didn't have to look through the curtain to know that Bodhi had returned. "Please don't say anything to him," she whispered. Itzpalo crossed her heart, a strangely comforting gesture.
"Your secret is safe with me, Mara," she said, then stepped away just as a familiar hand poked through the gap in the curtain.
"Alright to come in?"
Both Itzpalo and Mara called out to let him know he was safe to enter and the rest of Bodhi joined them in the cubicle. He'd had a quick wash and changed his clothes but there hadn't been time for much else. He didn't want to leave Mara on her own for too long, so when he bumped into K-2SO in the corridor outside, he asked if the droid could check in on her. He wondered if K2 had even bothered because there was no sight of it now. When he saw that Mara was undressed, Bodhi turned a funny shade of pink and looked down at the ground.
"Oh, kriff. Sorry, Mar. I thought-"
"It's fine, Bodhi." It was nothing he hadn't seen before. They were all adults, why should he be embarrassed? Why should either of them? Being raised a soldier didn't leave you with airs and graces, and it certainly knocked every ounce of shyness out of you. Mara really didn't mind if Bodhi walked in on her in her underwear. Her heart began to pound whenever he so much as smiled at her but this she could handle. Only Itzpalo seemed to realise how amusing this was.
Bodhi tried not to stare, he really did, but he thought Mara was just about the most beautiful thing in the whole universe and there she was in her underwear, not a care in the world. His mind drifted back to their last morning on Sarka, to how it felt to have her straddling him, her chest this close to his.
"Eyes up, pilot," Itzpalo said, laying a finger underneath his chin and tilting his head up a little so that his gaze met Mara's.
She was smiling shyly at him, clearly quite amused by his awkwardness and the fact that he obviously found her distracting. Bodhi shut his jaw, which had grown quite slack at the sight of her, and cleared his throat. His face was burning, he knew he must look ridiculous.
"Here," he mumbled, finding it hard to meet her gaze. He held out a stack of badly folded clothes. "Hope they're alright." He wasn't sure what Mara would like to wear, he'd never seen her out of her uniform or the clothes they'd picked up along the way, but he dug through his very minimal wardrobe and found something he thought she'd be comfortable in. Mara took the pile of clothes with a 'thank you' and slipped off the bed to get changed. Suddenly feeling uncomfortable again, Bodhi floundered, trying to think of something, anything to distract himself. "How do I look?" he asked, waving at his freshly washed hair and nice, clean clothes. Mara laughed as she pulled on a dark green shirt.
"Cleaner." Itzpalo's elbow sharply pressed into her side and Mara rethought her answer. "Good. You look good."
"You certainly look healthier. How's the patient, doctor?"
Itzpalo pulled back the curtain once Mara had pulled on a pair of black trousers. "She'll live. But not if she doesn't take it easy for a while."
"Take it easy?" Bodhi snorted. "We're in the middle of a war, you know."
Itzpalo elected to ignore him. She didn't want to leave her friends so soon but she had a list of patients as long as her arm and the medical staff was so limited these days, she couldn't spare another minute. She left them, promising that she would catch up with them when her shift ended.
Bodhi looked at Mara for a moment, just taking her in. It felt so strange to be back, to be amongst other people, and yet it was still just them, just Bodhi and Mara. Nothing had changed. He liked seeing her in his clothes. Even in an oil-stained shirt that was far too big for her and trousers that were so long, she had to roll them up twice at the cuff, she looked lovely.
Mara wouldn't admit it but she rather liked being in Bodhi's clothes too. If she bent her head towards her shoulder, she could catch his scent still lingering there. "Thanks for the clothes," she said and Bodhi waved her off, saying that it was nothing and that she could keep them.
"You ready to go? Quinn said he's got a room spare for you. Near to Leia."
They left the medcentre and found Quinn waiting for them outside. He didn't seem happy about being their guide but he couldn't ignore a direct order. Bodhi grinned at him, just to irritate him, making the cadet scowl as he turned away. Mara pressed her lips together in an attempt to hide her amused smile but Quinn noticed anyway and it only made his scowl deeper.
He showed Mara to her living quarters, several floors above where Bodhi and most of the other Rebels slept. She was just a few rooms down the hall from Leia. Quinn didn't stick around for long, he gave her the passcode then said a curt goodbye. Mara and Bodhi watched him scuttle away, hardly believing their luck. It seemed they'd been left to their own devices. They'd both worried that they'd be under constant supervision but the Rebellion really couldn't spare a single soldier. They were just two runaways, how much damage could they really do? There were far more pressing matters to attend to.
Mara didn't bother looking around her room. She was exhausted but restless, she couldn't keep still for more than a few seconds. Bodhi suggested they take a walk, she hadn't stuck around long enough to take the tour the last time she was here. Mara smiled ruefully but agreed, letting Bodhi lead her back down the hall and away from her still unopened quarters.
They didn't get far. After he'd showed her where to find the ref and the showers, they passed by a wide window and got distracted. The viewing platform overlooked the hangar where they could see the pilots and engineers preparing to leave. They couldn't hear very much through the thick glass but the hum of activity vibrated in their bones. Bodhi felt a stab of guilt. He should be out there amongst his friends. If Itzpalo had already integrated herself into life on Yavin 4 then Rej was probably down there prepping the X-Wings for take-off. Deffan would undoubtedly be flying, he was one the best pilots in the fleet.
"Their plan of attack is pretty genius actually," Bodhi said quietly, making Mara turn her head towards him.
He kept his gaze on the ships below, though he didn't appear to see anything. His expression was flat, his eyes glassy.
"They're going to manoeuvre straight down the equatorial trench and target the thermal exhaust, right below the main port. The shaft leads directly to the reactor system."
Mara didn't really understand what any of that meant but she could listen to Bodhi recite the entirety of an instruction manual and not get bored.
"Galen Erso gave them a way in."
"Without you, they wouldn't even know about it."
"Anyone could've delivered that message."
Even after all this time, with every other person telling him what a hero he was, Bodhi still doubted himself. Mara shook her head. "No," she said, reaching out to wrap an arm around his waist. "No, I don't think that's true at all."
She gently pulled him against her side, her fingers resting just below his ribs. Bodhi melted into her touch, he could practically feel all the tension leave his body. He put his arm around her shoulders and her head naturally rested against his chest, tucked under his chin. They stayed that way for a little while, watching the flight crews rush around loading last-minute armaments. Bodhi heard Mara sigh, felt her lean more of her weight against him. She was warm, he could still feel her through the layers of clothes that separated them. He rested his chin on the top of her head, then pressed his lips there.
"D'you wanna get some sleep?" he mumbled against her hair. Mara hummed thoughtfully. She carefully moved away, worried about butting his chin, and angled herself so that she could smile up at him. It didn't quite meet her eyes but he didn't expect much else at a time like this.
"I think I'll stay here for a little while," Mara said quietly. She couldn't face being alone in a room that wasn't hers. She already felt helpless, lost, she wanted to be with the one person that made her feel safe. Mara moved out of his arms but only so that she could sit down on the floor. As soon as her back hit the wall, Mara closed her eyes. Her body felt heavy as lead, she didn't think she'd make the walk back to her room anyway. She opened her eyes again to find Bodhi still standing. He looked nervous again.
"Is it..." He gestured to the space next to her, then anxiously scratched his cheek. "Is it alright if I-"
Mara smiled. "Sit down, Bodhi."
They watched the engineers and pilots make their final preparations below, like gods watching history play out before them. The hangar hummed with last-minute activity, occasionally trespassed by the distorted voice of the loudspeaker issuing commands. Coupling hoses were disconnected from the ships. Cockpit shields rolled smoothly into place over each pilot. A signalman holding red guiding lights directed the ships. The muted, gruesome crying sounds that naturally floated through Yavin 4's atmosphere were overwhelmed by the thundering of ion rockets as silver starships catapulted from the foliage in a tight formation and disappeared into the morning cloud cover.
They watched them leave, neither of them saying a word. Hours passed like minutes. Soon the pale sun began to rise but they barely noticed. Bodhi slipped down the wall, eventually resting his head in Mara's lap. They were both too tired to feel self-conscious. He closed his eyes, ignoring the familiar sharp sting of fatigue. He hoped he might dream, or at least slip into that peaceful plane halfway between sleep and awake, but a flurry of shrieking metal and blaster smoke rattled his mind. He knew what those pilots were seeing, what they were feeling. It was all too familiar.
His anguish must've reflected in his face because very soon, he felt Mara begin to run her fingers through his hair. He wondered if she even knew she was doing it. Bodhi cracked an eye open and found Mara was still watching the hangar, waiting for any sign of the pilots' return. Her hand smoothed from his forehead, all the way back, occasionally pressing down her fingertips so that they grazed his skin. Bodhi felt so at ease, he could hardly move. He was also desperately trying not to let out a moan but she was making it very difficult.
"Captain?"
They both jumped at the sound. Mara's heart began to thud, she thought she recognised the voice but she could barely fight through her exhausted haze. Bodhi sat up, turning to see who was walking towards them. The figure was tall and lithe, her hair swinging behind her in a long plait as she ran. Bodhi saw her royal blue uniform first, then the shock in Mara's eyes.
"Trew?" Mara thought she must be hallucinating, this was her sleep-hungry brain telling her that she needed to rest. But then the woman drew closer and suddenly Mara was completely awake. Trew Lorenna, her lieutenant, her second-in-command, she was here, alive. She was running so fast that to stop abruptly before them caused her to stumble.
"Sorry, Captain, I didn't mean to disturb you," Trew said, giving a quick salute.
Bodhi was impressed that Mara commanded such respect, but she couldn't seem to care less about protocol at that moment.
"You're alive!" Mara scrambled to her feet, almost knocking Bodhi over in the process. She grabbed Trew's hand, shaking it in greeting, both of them laughing like idiots. Mara couldn't believe she was here. She thought she was the only one left. "I'm so happy to see you."
"It's good to see you too, Captain," Trew said, grinning from ear to ear.
Bodhi watched them closely, feeling his heart strain when he saw that despite not having seen each other in weeks, they didn't move further than a handshake. It wasn't just Mara who had difficulty expressing her emotions. The strict regime of the Royal Guard had affected them so deeply that they could hardly find the words to explain how they truly felt. At last, Mara seemed to remember that she'd left Bodhi sitting on the floor.
"Trew, this is my friend Bodhi Rook. Bodhi, this is Lieutenant Trew Lorenna."
"Nice to meet you." Bodhi gave a little wave, not sure what to say in a situation like this. Trew smiled politely, clearly just as uncertain.
"Can we take a walk?" she asked.
Mara paused before agreeing. She looked back at Bodhi, still on the floor. Was this it? Was this the deciding moment? Mara felt stuck between two worlds, the old and the new, the safe and the exciting. If she went with Trew, was she making the choice? Would she be Captain Verbanti again? If that was the case, she didn't want to go, but Bodhi smiled encouragingly. She knew he must've been thinking along the same lines.
"I'll be here," he said quietly. A moment passed between them. They seemed to communicate without words. Whatever she decided, he would be here for her. Mara held his gaze then at last, she nodded.
For a brief, terrifying moment, Bodhi thought he saw her shift back into the emotionless, shell of a woman he met in the hangar in the dead of night. He thought he'd lost her. But then, just as Mara was turning away to leave with Trew, she gave him a cheeky grin and then, to his surprise and delight, she winked, something she'd learned from him. Bodhi felt his cheeks heat up. Maker, he loved her. Maybe if they survived this, he would tell her.
Mara and Trew walked side by side away from the viewing platform. It was a strange feeling, to see someone again after thinking they were dead for so long. Mara was having trouble putting a name to her emotions, there was relief, joy, and an ache that she knew must be homesickness. Trew symbolised the few that had survived Alderaan's destruction. Mara didn't think she'd ever get over such a loss.
She met Trew in their first year of training. She was as close as Mara had to a friend before she met Bodhi. When she was promoted to captain at only twenty-one years old, Mara was offered a say in who would become lieutenant. Of course, she chose Trew, a brave and incredibly skilled fighter. Together, they'd plotted more strategies than Mara could remember. But although they'd known each other for more than twenty years, they found they didn't know what to say to each other as they wandered the halls of the base.
"What happened to you?" Mara asked after several minutes had passed in bewildered, uncertain silence. Trew's back was ramrod straight. She still carried herself in the stiff, guarded fashion they were taught in training, a mannerism that Mara had lost after all her time away from Leia and from Alderaan. Though, after only a few minutes in Trew's company, she could feel her old habits starting to crawl back, ready to take over.
"Sillion and I gathered all the passengers we could find, just like you said. We tried to get them into the escape pods but the Empire was shooting down any ship that wasn't theirs. We had to surrender." Trew shuddered to relive those awful moments aboard the Tantive IV. Fortunately, not long after Vader and the last of his troopers left, the Rebellion answered the distress call. They were saved. "It's good to see you. When I couldn't find you on the Tantive, I feared the worst." Trew explained that when she arrived on Yavin 4, she thought she was the last of the Royal Guard, but a very bitter nurse in the medcentre told her that Mara had got there first.
"I had to get home," Mara said quietly. The word left an unpleasant taste in her mouth. "I had to find Leia."
"I wanted to follow you but they wouldn't let me leave. A few days after, Alderaan..." Trew looked down at her feet, suddenly going quiet. Neither of them could bear to think about where her sentence might've ended.
"Did anyone else make it?" Mara asked, changing the subject before her sadness threatened to take over. It was a question she'd been asking herself ever since she woke up in the Yavin medcentre. She couldn't get the image out of her head, Kranna lying face down in the middle of the corridor, her arms and legs at horrifying angles, and Sillion sat propped up against the wall, a dark hole burned in the centre of his uniform. And poor Lily and Lux lying side by side, crumpled and broken amongst the fallen Rebel soldiers. She could feel her eyes beginning to scratch, her throat tight. No, no more tears.
"We're all that's left," Trew said, confirming Mara's worst fears. "I'm sorry, Captain. I've let you down."
"No, no, that's impossible. I don't think any of us could've..." Mara sighed, looking away for a moment. There was nothing they could've done. They were brutally outnumbered; it was a miracle that either of them survived. They paused for a moment, realising they'd walked in a circle. Mara recognised this corridor, Bodhi was sat at the end of it, probably watching the hangar, waiting for the ships to come back. If they came back. "It's Mara, now. Just Mara," she said after a moment. Trew looked at her curiously and Mara gave her a sad sort of smile. "Alderaan is gone. We're all that's left. I don't think I'm your captain anymore." Trew seemed to consider this for a moment, then her face softened and she returned her smile.
"You'll always be my captain. And my friend," she said, putting a hand on Mara's shoulder.
They'd both lost so much but as long as they and Leia lived, so did Alderaan. Mara put a hand over Trew's, squeezing it gratefully. So much had changed, it felt good to know there were things that couldn't be taken from her. Perhaps she didn't have to choose after all. Perhaps it wasn't about being Captain Verbanti or Mara. If one good thing had come from this war, it was that now she could be whoever she wanted to be, no one could decide for her.
"Have you seen Leia?" Mara asked as they began to walk again, heading back towards where Bodhi was sat.
"Not much, she only arrived a couple of days ago." Trew suddenly scoffed, the corner of her mouth pulled back in a wry smile. "You should see the idiots who rescued her."
"They're still here?" Mara was surprised. "General Monnim told me they were some ridiculous pair. A kid and a smuggler."
"They are. How embarrassing is that?" Trew laughed for the first time in weeks, already feeling more like her old self. When she heard that Mara had arrived back on base in one piece, she could hardly believe it. She'd already lost her captain once. After Alderaan's death, she feared it would be for good. It was comforting to speak to someone she knew, someone who'd seen the things she had, who knew what it felt like to lose your life but still live. "One of them's gone, he was only in it for the money apparently. I don't blame him, I wouldn't want to stick around here either."
Mara hummed her agreement. She didn't like this base either, or the people who filled it, but she supposed it was a matter of getting used to her new life. If Bodhi could bear it, so could she. She smiled at the thought of him. That wonderful, brave man. Her Bodhi.
"But the other, he's different. Brave. He must only be about Leia's age. He's part of the fleet."
Mara raised her eyebrows, surprised. "What's his name?"
"Luke something, I think... Yeah, Luke Skywalker."
"Who is he? A Rebel?"
"No, no. Some farmboy. No one important."