There was complete silence in the war room. No one had moved since the pilots left. Leia had yet to look away from the giant screen displaying the planet Yavin and its four moons. Beside her, C-3PO kept muttering under its breath, so anxious she was afraid its circuits would fry. On the screen, the red dot that represented the Death Star drifted ever closer to their system. Their only hope, a series of much smaller green dots, raced towards it across the stars.
Leia held her breath as reports flooded in from the pilots. It was difficult to comprehend what was happening, their voices overlapped each other until the war room was brimming with almost unintelligible chatter. TIE fighters surrounded the X-Wings, chasing each other like flies on a hot summer's day. One after another, the Rebel pilots were picked off until there were only a few fighters left.
The field commander, who had been quiet throughout the fight, suddenly jumped from his chair. He leaned so close to the display, his nose was practically pressed up against it. The last fighter soared around the Death Star's trench, moving so fast they could hardly keep track of him. They were so close. Leia closed her eyes.
And just like that, it was over. Mara looked up from her folded hands as a faint rumble filled the base. She couldn't see the sky from their position but she knew if she could, she would be able to see a faint glow in the distance, like the last light of a collapsing star. Shrieks and cries of happiness rose up from the hangar, from the connecting corridors, from the very ground beneath them. The whole of Yavin 4 seemed to call out at once in triumph. The Death Star was gone. They won.
All around them, the base thrummed with celebration, people cheering, hugging, dancing with each other. Strangers were now friends, friends now family. Beside her, Bodhi let out a breath he'd been holding for seven years.
He could not articulate the feeling that wrapped around his heart and mind, or how light he felt now that this weight he'd been carrying had finally been lifted. He was free. Bodhi thought of his sister and his mother, of what he would say to them if they were here. He thought of Galen, now that his monster had finally been slain. Jyn, Cassian, Chirrut, Baze, and K-2 were probably amongst the throngs of people celebrating. He knew they must feel as relieved as he did.
He felt Mara lean more of her weight against him, like the very last of her energy had finally evaporated. Trew had gone to watch over the princess, so it was just the two of them sat on the ground. She rested her head on his shoulder, her fingers wrapped around the material of his sleeve.
Mara thought of the planet she lost and the home she'd found. Mostly she thought about Bodhi, about how pleased she was that he was finally free. Rebel ships raced back to the fourth moon of Yavin. They watched as they tumbled into the hanger below. Before they knew it, they were both in tears. Bodhi wrapped an arm around her, pulling her against him until there wasn't a single part of Mara that wasn't touching him. They shook and sobbed together, clutching each other as if to let go would mean losing the other forever.
As the pilots climbed out of their ships, Mara and Bodhi wiped their faces, feeling stupid but hardly caring. They staggered to their feet, their limbs numb and cold after hours on the stone floor. Mara felt her heart stumble when she saw Leia run across the hangar. After a lifetime watching over her, she doubted she would ever be able to shake the anxiety that overwhelmed her when she saw that Leia was out of reach. The princess rushed up to a particular starship, just as a young man began to climb down. The ground crew threatened to overwhelm him but Leia broke through the crowds.
"Luke! Luke!"
She threw her arms around the boy and hugged him as they danced around in a circle. Another man jumped down from a much larger ship, a real hunk of junk, and ran to join them. He hugged Leia tight, slapping the boy on the back as the ground crew and pilots all welcomed them home with laughter, cheers, and shouting.
Mara watched them celebrate, cut off from the girl who was once her whole world. She did not feel anger or sadness or frustration, not anymore. Leia was safe, that was all that mattered. She didn't even mind that she'd outlived her usefulness. Mara looked up at Bodhi, then back down at Leia and her new friends. "She looks happy, doesn't she?"
Bodhi barely caught her whispered words, they were almost lost beneath the roaring and cheering that filled Yavin 4. He tried to think of something to say, anything that would reassure or comfort her. He knew he could not comprehend just how Mara was feeling but then, he supposed, he didn't have to. Bodhi took her hand, smoothing his thumb across the backs of her fingers.
"You should sleep." He turned his head and pressed a kiss to her temple, hardly noticing the pleased little hum she gave through his own exhaustion. "C'mon, love." He gently tugged on her hand, not wanting to pull Mara away from the viewing platform if she wasn't ready to leave.
Mara watched Leia laugh with the Rebels, taking a moment to say goodbye, if only for now, then squeezed Bodhi's hand back. Together, they walked towards her room, the only two on the base who weren't making a sound.
Much later, the festivities were still raging. Bodhi doubted they'd end any time soon, the celebrations would most likely go on all week. If this was how excited they were to destroy one space station, he couldn't imagine would kind of party the Rebels would throw if they actually won this war.
Bodhi stared at the ceiling. He was back. He wasn't certain how much time had passed since he last lay in his claustrophobic quarters, it couldn't have been more than a month, but it felt like decades. So much had changed and yet nothing was different at all. He was still here, still in this awful room, miles beneath mounds of earth and stone, far from the sunlight and the wind... And Mara.
He turned his head, feeling his chest tighten when he saw that the other side of the bed was empty. He hadn't anticipated feeling so lonely. He'd slept alone, in worse places than this, for years before Mara. Now he felt like something was missing, a part of him. Bodhi sighed and turned back to the ceiling. He closed his eyes, willing himself to switch off. A moment passed, then he kicked off the sheet and was on his way to the door.
He was fairly sure he remembered the way to her room. If not, he could always ask. He doubted anyone would care about breaking curfew tonight. Bodhi grabbed his only clean-ish shirt from the floor and was just pulling it on as the door slid open. His heart plummeted in his chest when he found Mara standing there, her hand raised as if she were about to knock. He must've surprised her too because Mara stepped back into an instinctual defensive stance.
"Mara?" He blinked against the bright, ever-present lights in the corridor outside his room. She was barely more than a silhouette against the glare, but he'd know her anywhere. Bodhi rubbed his face, pushing his fingertips right into the corners of his eyes, whilst pulling his vest on the rest of the way with his free hand. "A' you alright?"
"I'm fine, I was just..." Mara allowed herself a moment to enjoy the sight of Bodhi sleepily pulling on his shirt. He was far musclier than she'd expected. She'd felt it before in the strength of his grip, but now she watched as the muscles in his shoulders shifted under his skin. His hair was sticking up a little, his voice rough and low. Suddenly Mara found it difficult to recall why she'd knocked in the first place. "I- I wanted... I, erm..."
"Mara?"
Bodhi stepped closer and she felt her heart swell. Mara shivered, though she tried to tell herself that it was because of the cold air trapped in the temple. "I couldn't sleep so I went for a walk to get some fresh air and I ended up in the courtyard outside and I was looking but I couldn't find it and I-"
"Find what?" Bodhi gently cut her off. She didn't often speak like this, so fast and rambling. Mara was precise in everything she did, right down to the pace of her steps and the turn of her head. Something had happened. "Mara, what's wrong?"
Mara tried to speak but it felt like there was a rope wrapped around her neck, pulling tighter and tighter every time she opened her mouth. Her eyes began to burn but she held back her tears, gritting her teeth with the effort. "Alderaan. I thought..." She shook her head helplessly. "I thought I might be able to see some sort of afterglow or-or one of the moons but I was looking and I realised I didn't know where to look. Will you help me?"
Bodhi didn't even have to think about it. He saw the pained look in her eyes and heard the slight tremor in her voice and that was that. He nodded, gesturing for her to come into his room.
"Yeah," he murmured, his voice soft and low with sleep. Mara could listen to it forever. "Yeah, alright, jus' lemme get dressed."
She sat on the edge of his bed whilst he found a relatively clean jacket amongst the clutter. She watched him move about the room just to distract herself from her own intrusive thoughts.
As soon as Bodhi was ready, he let her guide him through the corridors, past the empty hangar, the deserted war rooms, and the ref where a party was still raging, and out into the night.
The air was cold, their breath immediately misting in front of them. Mara crossed her arms, wishing she'd thought to put more clothes on. Then she remembered that these were all she owned. Her uniform jacket was her sole possession but she'd been in such a state of mind that she left it in her quarters. She stood close to Bodhi, sharing his warmth. He kindly put an arm around her, holding her near as they silently walked out into the courtyard.
Yavin 4 was uninhabited apart from the Rebels and a few, endemic, arcane creatures that lived in the thick jungle. It meant that, unlike on Alderaan and many of the other planets they'd visited on their journey, there was so little light pollution that the stars were spread out above them like a map. Mara bent her head back, turning her gaze to the skies and searching, searching, searching but she wouldn't know if she found anything even if, by some miracle, there was some of Alderaan's light left.
"Some Royal Guard I am," she muttered. Her voice was all that disturbed the silence, like a pebble thrown into the middle of a lake. "I don't even know where my own bloody planet is." Bodhi felt her tense against his side, then she said, in a much quieter, defeated voice, "Was." Every time she closed her eyes, she saw the blinding white flash that must have engulfed her homeworld. She wasn't there to see it. All that history, all those people, and the only ones to watch it die were its princess and those who gave the execution order.
Tears pricked her eyes again but this time she let them fall. Despite everything, she was still embarrassed to show such weakness. She'd cried more over the last few days than she had in her entire life. Mara could hear her mother's voice in her head, telling her to straighten her back, keep her chin up. Whatever she felt wasn't nearly as important as what she did, and there wasn't always the luxury of time. This training had served Mara well as a captain but now it meant she couldn't always understand her own feelings, leaving her confused, which made her furious.
It was getting easier, though. She was learning, she was gentler with herself now. Mara still felt self-conscious expressing any emotion but she no longer feared being vulnerable. At least, around Bodhi. He was the only person in the whole galaxy she knew she could trust, the only one who made her feel safe, who she could be herself around. She wondered why everything felt different when she was with him.
"C'mere." Bodhi pulled her closer, his side pressed against hers. He raised his hand and pointed to the stars, bending down so that he could keep his voice low. "You see that cluster there? With three in a row and a scattering underneath?"
His breath brushed her skin, his body warm and inviting. Mara followed the direction he pointed in, searching for the right constellation amongst dozens of others. At last, she thought she found the right one, three points of light neatly lined up in a row surrounded by smaller speckles of stardust. They seemed further away than ever.
"There?" She pointed too and Bodhi adjusted her hand slightly, guiding her a little higher.
"There." He turned away from the skies to look at Mara. He'd rather see her than all the stars in the galaxy.
Her gaze stayed fixed on the constellation he'd shown her, what little remained of her planet. There was no afterglow and Alderaan's moons were barely visible from this distance, even on a clear night, but he could show her where it once sat amongst the stars, and for Mara, that was more than enough. She stared at the constellation until its shape was burned into her memory. She'd never struggle to find it again.
"I still can't believe it," Mara whispered. She moved closer to Bodhi, slipping an arm around his back. "I still can't believe it's gone."
He felt her fingers tangle in the back of his shirt and barely managed to keep it together. Bodhi could only marvel at the tenderness of her touch. His heart ached to know how Mara had been held at arm's length her entire life when she had so much love to give. How could she be so gentle despite all the things that had happened to her? And how could he possibly have earned the right to be the first and only one to see it?
He turned his body, gently pulling her closer until her side was pressed against his chest, her head tucked safely in the crook of his shoulder. They pressed closer and closer until Mara could no longer discern where her body ended and his began. He was so warm, his arm around her waist strong. Her heart felt heavy and her eyes ached from the effort of keeping back her tears, but she was safe, she was with Bodhi.
"Alderaan isn't really gone," he murmured against her hair. "Not while there are people who remember it."
He tightened his arm around her, giving her a comforting squeeze. It reminded Mara of the way Queen Breha used to take her hand when she was much younger, turning it over so that she could place a sweet in her palm, just their little secret. Then she would carefully close Mara's fist around it, squeezing her hand gently. She heard Bodhi hum quietly to himself and felt the smile in his voice as he said,
"You make your planet proud, Mar."
Mara's fingers tightened on the back of his shirt but her body seemed to slump slowly, her anguish finally subsiding, if only for a little while. That was all she'd ever wanted, to keep Leia safe and to be someone that Alderaan and its Royal House could be proud of. Her confidence had all but vanished over the last few weeks; she'd lost the princess, she hadn't been able to save her planet, and she'd barely kept Bodhi alive on their travels. Her free hand ghosted over the patch of skin on her stomach still covered in bandages. She'd have a scar there for the rest of her life, a reminder of how close they'd both come to… She didn't even want to think about it. They were both here, they were both alive, and that was enough.
She wanted to thank Bodhi, for showing her home, for comforting her, and for always knowing exactly what to say, but how in the world could she possibly put all that into words? Instead, she turned her head and pressed her face into his shoulder, taking a moment to breathe him in, surrounded by his warmth. Maker, she'd never felt so comfortable in all her life. She kissed his shoulder but didn't turn her face away. She pressed her mouth against him, her nose all scrunched up, her eyes closed, not wanting to leave him just yet.
Mara felt Bodhi rest his chin on top of her head, then press his jaw to her temple. What she felt, this was more than fondness, this was more than friendship, this was complete and utter devotion. Mara knew in that moment what she'd suspected all along, that Bodhi was different, special, important in a way that no one else in all her life had been before. She would do anything for him, she wanted to be with him for the rest of her life. She adored him, she simply adored him, there was nothing else to say. And for once she didn't question her feelings, she didn't ask why, or how, or when, she just let the feeling envelop her, that warmth, that happiness, as Bodhi ran his hand up and down her arm.
They kept their eyes on the stars, their hearts beating in time, until at last they began to shiver. It was dreadfully cold and they were both in their night clothes. Mara's hair was still wet from the 'fresher. Before she decided to take a walk, she thought showering might help clear her head, but it had only worked for a little while. Mara explained all this to Bodhi as they walked back inside.
"Why couldn't you sleep?" he asked, having to raise his voice over the racket from the party in the ref. "Are you worried about something?"
Mara felt embarrassment curl in her stomach, making it difficult to meet his gaze. "You'll think I'm being stupid."
Bodhi laughed softly, not at her but at the very idea. "Never. I could never think that about you."
Mara smiled shyly, still unused to compliments after all this time. Bodhi put out his arm and she looped her hand through, neither of them wanting the contact to end. "I think it's because..." She blew out a long breath, urging herself to keep going and not clam up like all her instincts were yelling at her to do. "I think it's because you're not with me." Bodhi looked down at her and she found her confidence in the soft, little smile he gave her. "I got so used to sleeping with you-" She blushed. "Near you- on the ship and now it doesn't... It feels like..."
"I can't sleep either," Bodhi assured her.
Mara felt her racing heart begin to slow. Something passed between them, an unspoken understanding. That was when it hit her, a sudden bolt of lightning. That feeling that something was missing, that something had died, it no longer followed her like a second shadow. For all that she lost, she'd gained so much more.
A shriek echoed down the corridor behind them. Bodhi flinched and Mara's grip on his arm tightened, ready to pull him behind her, but when they looked around, they saw that there was nothing to be afraid of. Down at the other end of the corridor, Yunlo and Adina were dancing, spinning around and around in circles, bending double with laughter when they tripped over each other, dizzy with jubilation.
Bodhi smiled to see his friend and her girlfriend so happy. He'd heard Yunlo once say that she planned to propose as soon as there was a glimmer of hope that this war might soon be over. He wondered if tonight was the night. They left them dancing in the dark, their laughter growing fainter and fainter as they wandered deeper into the base.
"Do you think you'll see Leia tomorrow?" Bodhi asked, now that they were alone once more. Mara's lip twitched but it was more of a grimace than a smile.
"Probably."
"Nervous?"
"Usually."
Bodhi laughed softly. "Oh, I don't believe that for a second."
Mara's smile stretched her tear-stained skin but it soon disappeared, dowsed by the seemingly unshakeable anxiety that rested on her shoulders. "I keep thinking, what would Bail say? If he saw us now? I wonder if he'd be disappointed."
"Look at all you've done, Mar. Look at how far you went just to keep his daughter safe."
Mara scoffed. "Fat lot of good it did." She looked up when Bodhi laughed again.
"Well, you're not a miracle-worker. Some things even you can't change." He looked down at her and grinned. "Not for lack of trying, though."
They reached Bodhi's door and Mara realised she probably ought to leave him to it. She'd already interrupted his night once, she shouldn't presume that he'd invite her in as well. She was just about to say goodnight when Bodhi opened his door and stepped inside, one hand splayed against the frame to hold it open for her. Mara hesitated, worried that she might've misread the situation, but no, Bodhi was inviting her in. With an ill-concealed smile, she entered the room and Bodhi let the door slide shut behind them.
Bodhi's quarters were fairly standard, everyone on Yavin 4 had the same square footage and bare essentials. Only the highest generals and of course, the princess, had more space. There were no windows, just a dresser, a bed, and a crate for any possessions that needed tidying away. It reminded Mara of their room on Sarka and, strangely, her own sparse bedroom on Alderaan.
Bodhi apologised about the mess; he hadn't had time to tidy up. When he returned to his room, he found that the Rebels had turned it upside-down, probably searching for anything that might incriminate him or give them some sort of clue as to where he and Mara were headed. He considered tidying up for her sake but she didn't seem to mind.
Mara watched him as he moved to the bed, straightening out the covers and placing one of his pillows next to the other for her. She waited hesitantly by the door, though waiting for what exactly, she wasn't sure.
"You know," Mara said, keeping her voice low even though they were alone now. "Bail stood as viceroy at the beginning of a dark time for Alderaan, for the whole galaxy. He helped Mon Mothma shape the Alliance while trying to preserve what little authority the Senate had left. He'd probably be fighting alongside the Rebels right now if he hadn't..."
Bodhi looked up from the bed when she didn't say any more. Mara was staring into space, lost in thought. After a moment, she blinked and her sadness retreated once more. He asked if she was alright and of course she said that she was. Bodhi patted the bed, letting her know she could get in anytime and shouldn't wait around just for him. As Mara got under the covers, one hand pressed carefully against the bandage around her middle, Bodhi pulled off his shirt and she tried not to stare. He chucked it into a drawer, far too tired to pretend to care about folding it neatly.
"I think you would've liked him actually," Mara said after a few moments, trying to distract herself. This was no different from how they slept in Sotoo or on Sarka, she wasn't sure why the thought of sharing a bed still made her pathetically bashful.
"Yeah?"
"Yeah." She thought he might join her in bed but he bent down and opened a lower drawer. When he rose again, he had a towel in his hands. It was an old thing, standard issue, but clean enough and, most importantly, dry. He walked around to her side of the bed and asked her to sit up. Mara wanted to ask what he was doing but her question was stifled when he dropped the towel on her head.
"Oh, sorry. Didn't mean to get ya." She heard him say, though his voice was muffled by the soft towel.
When Bodhi lifted it away from her face, he found that she was scowling up at him. He could only grin until eventually, Mara gave in and began to smile too. Instead of just leaving her to it, he gently began to towel her hair dry for her, moving the soft material around so carefully that Mara almost burst into tears. No one had ever been so gentle with her. He hummed to himself as he worked, an unfamiliar tune but lovely all the same. It was such a comforting feeling, she'd never really been looked after before. Mara had to hold in a soft moan as his fingers worked deep into her hair, moving from the roots all the way to the tips until her it was no longer damp and she felt a lot warmer.
"He would've liked you too," she said, once he'd finished and moved away. "Bail. He liked brave people, people who help others even if it puts themselves at risk."
"Mara Verbanti, you old softie." Bodhi chucked his towel across the room, too exhausted to care where it landed. He just wanted to get into bed and be with her. He pulled the covers up and over them until just their heads poked out. It was perpetually cold in the base but even more so now that they'd been outside. Mara sighed contentedly as she felt her body beginning to warm up again, though it might have had something to do with how close Bodhi was to her.
The mattress was thin and uncomfortable, she wondered how he'd managed to sleep on it for so long without getting a bad back. It was also a very small bed, quite the opposite of Sotoo's spacious hold. There was barely any space between them. Another inch and she'd be in his arms. Which would be nice, she thought, it would be really nice. Mara could feel her heart thudding against her ribs but strangely enough, she found she wasn't afraid. She adored the closeness, she adored him. She couldn't understand it, how could one person make her feel so at home and so nervous at the same time?
Bodhi closed his eyes, wrinkling his nose when they stung with exhaustion. He desperately needed sleep but all he wanted was to keep talking to Mara. He wasn't sure how many more opportunities they would have like this, for it to be just the two of them. He wanted to make the most of every moment he had left with her.
"Please tell me you have a middle name that's as fantastic as your first."
Mara groaned, turning to push her face into the pillow. When she spoke again, her voice was muffled but no less irritated. "I thought I told you to never mention that again."
"But Maranellia-"
"Kriffing hell-"
"Is an amazing name." Bodhi laughed when she shot him a withering glare. "Look, I'll prove it to you. I'll name my daughter Maranellia."
Mara pushed her face into the pillow again. "Shut up, Bodhi."
"I've given it a lot of thought." He grinned. "She'll be named after her mother." He thought she might scoff or tell him to shut up again but when Mara finally showed her face, she was smiling.
"You've finally done it," she said, trying to ignore just how hard her heart was beating. "I'm speechless."
"Wow, this really is a day for the history books."
"What about you?"
"Oh, I don't think I've ever not been able to think of something to say."
"Not that." Mara laughed, gently shoving his shoulder. "Do you think you'll see your friends tomorrow?"
"Again, I wouldn't call them friends."
"Fine, your accomplices then."
Bodhi seemed to find this amusing but after a moment, his smile faded a little.
"Yeah, I probably will see 'em," he said quietly. Bodhi's stomach churned at the thought of his Rogue One teammates. What would he say to them? What were they to each other now that their mission was over, now that the Death Star had been destroyed and their little group had disbanded? He'd risked everything to help the Rebellion but now that he'd outlived his usefulness, he doubted the others would care to see him.
Jyn and Cassian would have no trouble carving a place for themselves in the Rebellion, they were considered great war heroes after all. Chirrut and Baze just wanted to return to their home, to rebuild the Holy City and help as many people as they could. The last time Bodhi spoke to them, they asked if he wanted to go with them. Jedha was his home too. At least, it was. Bodhi wasn't sure anymore, he wasn't sure of anything. His teammates, they all knew what they wanted, they had all found a home. Bodhi had felt like an outcast his entire life, he thought defecting might change that, but the only one on the entire base he felt he had anything in common with was a reprogrammed Imperial droid.
What if he wasn't good enough? What if this had all been for nothing? Bodhi felt like his lungs might burst, his anxiety pressing down on him until he couldn't breathe, then suddenly, he felt a hand on his chest and the world quietened. Mara let her hand rest there, feeling the rapid pace of his heart pounding under her fingers. She'd seen the signs, she knew where he was going inside his head. She knew it because she felt it too.
Mara smoothed her hand across his chest, to his shoulder and down his arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in her wake. Bodhi shivered, but not from the cold. He knew she must've felt it but Mara didn't say anything. Her arm stretched across his chest, tucking her fingertips underneath his back, holding him close to her. Bodhi finally began to breathe easily again. Her face was pressed into his shoulder, the length of her body against his side. He moved his other arm to wrap around her shoulders, hoping to make her more comfortable. When she hummed happily, Bodhi closed his eyes. He was so stupidly enamoured, all he could think to do was kiss the top of her head, whispering a thank you into her hair.
"I'd like to meet them," Mara said after a moment. She wondered if she should've let the comfortable silence go on for a little longer but Bodhi didn't seem to mind.
"You would?"
Mara grinned. "Any accomplice of yours is an accomplice of mine." A few weeks ago, she had never even slept in the same bed as another person. Now she was so close to Bodhi that when he chuckled, her own body shook.
"Maybe don't call them that around any generals," he said, though he interrupted himself with a huge yawn.
Mara smiled fondly, feeling her heart swell just from looking at him. "You should sleep."
"But I'm having such a nice time talking to you." Bodhi sighed happily. "I could do this forever. I like talking to you. I like the sound of your voice."
Mara felt her face start to heat up and was very glad that it was too dark to see it. "I think you're delirious with exhaustion."
Bodhi exhaled sharply, shaking his head. Then all the laughter seemed to fade from his face. He held her gaze but didn't appear to see her. Mara wondered where he'd gone to but didn't push him, she knew he'd be back with her again soon.
"You know," he said, his voice so soft she had to strain to hear it even though the room was perfectly silent. "After everything that's happened: defecting, the Holy City, Galen, Scarif... I was in a bad place, Mar." His gaze fell to the tattoo on her arm. He brushed his thumb over it, then traced the crest with his fingertip, making Mara shiver. "Every day, I had to keep reminding myself to breathe. I just felt so heavy and numb. But then you... The first time you made me laugh was the first time I'd laughed in about a year, I think. I don't have to remind myself to breathe anymore, 'cause of you."
Mara could only stare at him. The way he looked at her... She never thought she would ever lie like this, in someone else's arms, and she certainly never thought that anyone, least of all Bodhi, would say these things about her. She supposed it was quite a confession of affection, but it didn't feel as heart-stopping as she thought it would. In fact, it felt quite natural, easy. Which, she thought, was so much better.
"I'm really glad I kidnapped you, Bodhi Rook." Mara winced, suddenly feeling stupid. "Sorry, that wasn't... You know I'm terrible at... This." She shut her eyes, pressing her face into his shoulder again whilst Bodhi chuckled.
"You're not," he said, fondly kissing the top of her head for good measure. "You're not. You just need practise."
Mara couldn't look away from those eyes. Her whole body felt like it was simply tingling with happiness. Bodhi was still tracing the outline of her tattoo, his other hand resting on her elbow. They were so close, she was sure he must be able to feel her heart beating. Bodhi smiled, and suddenly Mara realised she wanted to stay this way for the rest of her life.
"You still need to sleep," she whispered after a moment.
Bodhi tutted, feigning annoyance, but he did let his head sink a little deeper into the pillow. "Excuse me, I could fly the Kessel Run right now with my hands tied behind my back."
"I have no idea what that means."
"It's very impressive."
"Is it now."
"You should be impressed."
"Oh, really?"
"So impressed."
"And yet, here we are." Mara grinned and Bodhi rolled his eyes, shaking his head. But he was still smiling. Mara didn't think she'd seen him this happy in a long time, if ever. He was so relaxed, perfectly at ease for the first time in years.
She wished she could keep it that way for him, she wished she could take away all the obstacles in Bodhi's path that meant he couldn't be this happy all the time. But, as Mara had come to learn, there were things even she couldn't control. "We're back," she whispered, her gaze dropping to where his thumb smoothed back and forth across her elbow. When Bodhi hummed, she felt the vibration in her own chest.
"We are."
"Everything's going to change, isn't it."
"It doesn't have to." Bodhi's thumb stopped its movement. He raised his head from the pillow to meet her eyes properly. "The Rebel Alliance just destroyed the Death Star. Who knows what's gonna happen."
Mara couldn't help but smile at the look on his face. She supposed they were in uncharted territory. Her entire life had been mapped out for her from the moment she was born and now suddenly, she was just a leaf in the stream of the universe. To have so little control, to have no plan, it would've rattled her not so long ago. Now, Mara found that she was quite excited to have no idea what she was going to do tomorrow. All she knew was that, whatever happened, she would do it with Bodhi by her side.
"I like being here. With you," Mara said, trying not to blush like an idiot and failing miserably.
Bodhi's heart swelled. He gave her what he knew must've been a very dopey, very lovesick smile but of course, Mara was oblivious. "I'm not going anywhere, Captain."
"Good." Mara closed her eyes, finally giving into her exhaustion. It had been the longest day of her life, she felt as if she could sleep away a whole century. They were silent for a little while, then Mara suddenly felt a burst of bravery and she found she was able to put what she felt into words for the first time. "I don't ever want to say goodbye to you." Silence fell again, and for the few moments that neither of them spoke, Mara's heart thrummed so fast she thought it might give up altogether. Then Bodhi turned and rested his chin on top of her head, closing his eyes.
"You won't have to."
They were awoken the next morning by Quinn. The cadet seemed less than pleased to be their personal messenger, his foul mood exacerbated by the terrific headache he'd earned after a night of drunken celebrating. If he was surprised to find Mara in Bodhi's quarters, he didn't say anything, though they both blushed at the knowing look he gave them.
Quinn told them that they were free to move around the base as they pleased, but that they couldn't leave Yavin 4 again without permission from Mon Mothma herself. Bodhi found it rather amusing that so many regulations had been put in place for little old him. Then he remembered how Mara had torn through the medcentre with two broken ribs and a concussion; these rules were to keep her under supervision, not him.
"Oh, and before I go…" Quinn said, just as he was moving away from the door.
Bodhi gritted his teeth, willing the nauseating man to just leave them alone, but he refrained from saying anything. Irritating he may be, but Quinn had a direct line to the generals and Bodhi was determined to keep his head down. His place on Yavin 4 was hanging by a thread, he didn't like it here but it was the only home he had and far better than the alternative.
"Is he still here?" Mara called from the bed, making Bodhi smile and Quinn scowl.
"I thought you'd like to know that your friends know you're back. They'll see you in the ref."
Bodhi's heart faltered at his words but he tried not to let his apprehension show. Taking a page from Mara's book, he gave the cadet an easy smile. "How nice of you, Quinn."
Quinn's scowl only deepened. "Try not to get yourself into any more trouble, pilot," he muttered, then walked away down the corridor at his usual frantic, nervous pace.
Bodhi closed the door and turned back to Mara to find her sat up in bed, the covers drawn over her lower half. She was still wearing the shirt he gave her last night, his shirt. It was a sight he could get used to. Bodhi was so happy here in their little sanctuary, he almost didn't want to leave his quarters, even if it did mean seeing his friends again. Friends. That's what Quinn had called them. It might not be the Rogue One team after all, he might have meant Deffan, or Rej or any of the others they met on Sarka. The thought did little to assuage his nerves.
"Bodhi?"
He realised he'd been silent for a little while and looked up to find Mara watching him closely. She looked concerned so he waved her off, giving her a small smile. "I'm alright." He padded over to the bed just to take her hand in his and press a chaste kiss to her knuckles. "C'mon, get dressed. I'm starving."
Mara's fingers tingled as he let her hand go. She watched him move around his room, searching for something to wear. It was only when he managed to dig a clean shirt out from under his bed with a triumphant cry that she realised, "I don't have any clothes."
Bodhi put a hand to his head, as if to say 'of course, how stupid of me' then pulled off his sleeping shirt. Mara raised her eyebrows, surprised that he would undress in front of her without hesitation or seemingly any sense of shyness. She was also rather pleased to get another look at him with his shirt off. When Bodhi thought he looked semi-presentable, he grabbed his jacket from the dresser and pulled it on as he moved to the door.
"Wait here, keep warm, I'll find you something."
Mara scoffed. "Where am I gonna go?"
What she meant was, 'where can I go looking like this?' but it occurred to Bodhi that apart from Trew and the princess, Mara really didn't know very many people on the base. He felt a sudden sense of responsibility, he was her guide on Yavin 4, he wanted to make sure she was happy and comfortable.
With one last charming smile, he walked out of the door. "Try not to get yourself into any more trouble, Captain," he said, echoing Quinn's words. Mara pretended to sneer at him which only made his smile bigger.
She waited for the sound of the door sliding shut but it never came. When she looked up, confused, she found that Bodhi was still stood in the doorway. "What?" He smiled, gently, sweetly, practically shining with happiness.
"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. "Nothing, you're just incredibly beautiful." He didn't give her time to respond. Bodhi turned and walked out into the corridor, shouting back over his shoulder just as the door closed behind him. "Back in a sec."
Mara stared at the door for a moment. She realised she was smiling. Her heart felt like it was spinning around inside her chest and her face was all stupid and flushed and then she did something really idiotic and flopped down onto the bed with an excited, happy squeak.
As promised, when Bodhi came back, he'd found her something to wear. Itzpalo was far too tall and Yunlo far too slim, so he had to ask Deffan to raid his dresser for spare clothes. Mara didn't mind who they belonged to, so long as they were clean. Dressed in a dark shirt and trousers, she didn't feel much like herself, but she couldn't complain. As soon as she was ready, they left Bodhi's room.
They entered the ref, hesitating by the door. It was a large room filled with tables and chairs. A small kitchen lay off at the far end, the smell of freshly cooked breakfast sweeping across the room towards them. Mara's stomach growled. There weren't many people about but more and more were filtering in with every passing minute. Rebels leaned over their breakfasts, nursing pounding heads and dry mouths.
Bodhi cast his eyes around the room, trying to pick out familiar faces amongst the crowd. He couldn't see anyone he recognised at first - he hadn't really had time to make friends before he and Mara left - then all of a sudden, there they were. Jyn Erso was sat at a table near the wall, drinking caf from a metal cup. Her left arm was in a sling, her face littered with scratches and bruises. Beside her, Cassian Andor picked at his breakfast with a grim look on his face. He looked a little worse for wear but that was nothing new.
Mara gazed around the room, hoping to spot Itzpalo or maybe Trew amongst the faces, but neither of her friends were here. She tried not to be too disappointed but it would've been nice to talk to them. Mara thought about going to get something to eat but suddenly Bodhi took her hand. He turned to face her, ducking his head and for one stupid moment, Mara thought he was going to kiss her. But he spoke close to her ear, clutching her hand tight.
"This was a bad idea," he said, moving back to meet her eyes.
Mara didn't have time to respond. He started to make his way back towards the door, still holding onto her hand, but a sudden raised voice broke through the low murmuring that filled the ref.
"Bodhi!"
Shit. He stopped in his tracks and looked up to see Cassian and Jyn making their way over to him across the room. At the sound of his name, a few Rebels he recognised looked his way. They were all huge, battered and scarred, and he'd had run-ins with them in the past. No one had ever physically hurt him but the abuse they threw across the hangar was enough to turn his stomach. Bodhi doubted they'd try anything now, not here at least, but he could feel their eyes on him as Jyn and Cassian finally met him by the door.
Mara took a step back, watching the two Rebels warily. They were friends of Bodhi's, she knew it was unlikely that they would try to hurt him, but she'd dedicated her life to protecting the people she cared about, the people she loved, so the need to defend Bodhi was second nature. She'd already almost died to save him once, she wouldn't think twice about sending these people right back to the medcentre if they raised a hand to him.
Bodhi smiled weakly at his teammates as they came closer. He extended his hand to Jyn but she ignored it and pulled him into a hug instead.
"We heard you were back but they wouldn't let us see you."
Bodhi was so surprised, he only realised he ought to hug her back as she moved away. Jyn left her hand on his shoulder, squeezing as she gave him a wide smile. She stepped aside so that Cassian could embrace him.
"We thought you'd need to rest anyway." Cassian was smiling. Bodhi didn't think he'd ever seen him smile in the short time that he'd known him. "And then with the battle, everything just..."
"I'm so happy to see you." Bodhi could feel his nerves already beginning to slip away. Suddenly he couldn't remember what he'd been so afraid of. "How are you feeling?"
Cassian looked down at Jyn. They shared a smile. "Just about surviving," he said.
Jyn laid a hand on her head, right over the spot where a swelling on her brain used to sit. She seemed to do it almost subconsciously. "It's put me off heroics. At least for a while, anyway."
"Baze and Chirrut?"
"They should be here soon. They're excited to see you."
Mara watched from a distance as Bodhi reconnected with his friends. He had his back turned but she could picture the look on his face, that bright smile and the light in his eyes. Once again, she found herself wishing she could understand her own feelings. She was happy for him, happy that he could be amongst his friends again, amongst people who understood him and everything he'd been through. But pleased as Mara was that Bodhi had been reunited with his team, she found herself suddenly overwhelmed with dysphoria.
As much as she wanted Bodhi to be with his friends, she wanted him to be with her more. But that was selfish, and Mara felt a pang of guilt. He belonged here. He belonged with Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor and even that bloody cantankerous droid. Whatever Bodhi decided, she would be happy for him, even if she couldn't be happy with him. Mara's heart sank as she realised that, like the princess, Bodhi didn't need her anymore.
Cassian caught movement over Bodhi's shoulder. He leaned to the side, looking around the pilot, and found a woman standing a few feet away. She was lovely, broad, her hair cut short. She looked devastatingly tired but her gaze was soft and sad. She seemed to notice him watching her but she didn't look away from Bodhi. Then Cassian saw the edge of the tattoo on her left arm, just poking out of the bottom of her sleeve. He instinctively reached for the blaster at his hip but he grasped at nothing. The woman met his gaze. Her eyes were dark, sad. Then she turned away as if to leave the ref.
"Is that..?" They'd heard the story. They'd heard about the terrifying woman who stole their friend away in the middle of the night. And here she was. Cassian didn't think she looked nearly so frightening as the rumours described, but he was no less wary.
Bodhi followed his gaze and turned to see he was watching Mara. His stomach twisted when he saw her turn to walk away. Moving quickly, he reached out and took her hand.
Mara stopped. She looked around and found that Bodhi was smiling at her kindly. With one look, he communicated a multitude of thoughts, that he didn't want her to leave, that he needed her here, that he wanted her to be a part of this world, a part of his life, and that everything was going to be alright.
"This is Captain Mara Verbanti," he said with pride, turning back to his friends. He kept hold of Mara's hand, gently guiding her towards the others.
Her heart was in her throat but she smiled as best she could at the Rebels she had heard so much about. Mara wasn't a shy person and before Bodhi, she'd never been the least bit bashful, but now she couldn't seem to relax.
"Mar, this is Jyn Erso and Cassian Andor."
Despite what they must have heard about her, they seemed pleased to meet her, if a little cautious. Mara nodded slightly, holding out her hand for each of them to shake. "I've heard a lot about you," she said, glancing at Bodhi. It was all she could think to say but it seemed to be enough.
Cassian and Jyn both shook her hand, even complimenting her on the famed skill of the Alderaanian Royal Guard. That helped to settle her nerves a little. If there was one thing she could talk about with ease, it was her service. Cassian even asked about their training techniques and Mara happily explained the sorts of practises she personally implemented when she became captain. She didn't even notice that this was the first time she'd been able to talk about her home and her duty without feeling sick to her stomach.
Bodhi watched her converse with his friends, unable to keep the fond smile from his face. His two worlds, the old and the new, had finally met. Thankfully, they seemed to be getting on quite well. They only stopped chatting when Jyn perked up and waved to someone on the other side of the ref. Bodhi looked around and saw Chirrut and Baze making their way through the crowds that had now gathered around the tables. They looked just the same as the last time he saw them, but there was something about them both, something he didn't think he'd see in the men for a long while yet. They seemed at peace, comforted, he thought, by the justice they'd helped bring about.
Baze had cut his hair short, a traditional Jedhan mourning practice. Bodhi thought about his own long hair, perhaps he ought to do the same. They walked with K-2SO, who looked wonderfully out of place in the refectory. Mara was pleased to see the droid. For some reason, she rather liked its attitude problem. Bodhi had explained that Cassian reprogrammed K-2SO a few years ago; she couldn't help but wonder if the droid had always been so caustic, or if a few 1s and 0s had been mismatched during the process.
"They named their ship after me, you know," K-2SO told the assassin and the guardian as they joined their group. It seemed rather proud of this fact, and Mara found she was quite pleased that the droid had remembered what she said.
Cassian smiled fondly up at K-2 like a proud father. "Sorry about him. He tends to say whatever comes into his circuits."
To Bodhi's surprise, he was embraced by Chirrut and Baze as well. They each expressed their relief that he had returned safely, even going as far as to admit that they'd worried about him.
This made Mara's chest clench but she tried to ignore it. Her actions had touched the lives of so many, she hoped to make amends someday, even though she didn't regret her choices in the slightest. The man with the clouded eyes put his hand on his chest and bent his head in a slight bow. Mara hesitantly returned the gesture, glancing at Bodhi out of the corner of her eye. She wasn't sure which was Chirrut Îmwe and which was Baze Malbus but Bodhi held them both in such high regard, she would treat them both with the same respect. When the man straightened up again, he reached out to her, and Mara nervously placed her hand between his.
"This must be your Mara," Chirrut said, angling his head towards Bodhi, who made a strange sort of choking sound.
"This is Mara Verbanti, yes," he said quickly, then to Mara, "He's..." He circled his finger beside his head, giving her an apologetic look, and Baze had to hide a smile.
"Young lady," Chirrut went on, pretending he hadn't noticed Bodhi's discomfort. "You have faced great loss. I hope you will be happy here."
His words caught her off guard. Mara stared at him. How did he know? Bodhi hadn't told him and K-2 certainly didn't know anything. Perhaps one of the others… No, there was no one on base who knew her past and her tumultuous present like Bodhi did. Then she remembered what he'd said, that this man was a Guardian of the Whills. She'd only heard stories. The Guardians were a religious order active in Jedha, where they guarded the Temple of the Kyber and those who visited it. The protectors of the ancient temple were forced to live on the streets when the Empire occupied Jedha in search of kyber crystals; Mara had heard Breha telling her daughter about it at a council meeting once. The Empire stripped the temple bare but the Guardians remained true to their beliefs. They knew the ways of the Force.
Mara didn't believe in anything she couldn't see with her own two eyes, but as Chirrut Îmwe gripped her hand, she felt it, she felt that power, that knowledge. She felt as if he could see straight through her despite his blindness. Mara didn't like not knowing, she preferred actions to mindless faith, but in that moment, she understood why Bodhi believed and for a moment, she did too.
Chirrut let go of her hand with a small smile and Mara tried to shake the uneasy, foreign feeling that had settled over her. It wasn't bad, she knew that much, but it was new and the new was often frightening. But then she felt Bodhi gently place his hand against the small of her back, a silent question, and she smiled up at him, a silent answer.
Cassian watched the two of them interact whilst the others continued to greet each other. He noticed that whenever Mara looked at him, Bodhi began to smile. He seemed lighter, more sure of himself, just by being near her. Cassian thought back to the rumpled pile of a man he had found in the catacombs, malnourished and battered and deranged with trauma. He hadn't completely disappeared, he doubted he ever would, but there was hope now where there wasn't before.
They shared an awkward breakfast. It occurred to them all as they ate that they'd never had a normal conversation. It was a common occurrence amongst the Rebels. In their rare moments of downtime, they found they couldn't quite adjust to normalcy, and could hardly remember how to relax. Now, the Rogue One team found they knew very little about each other apart from, apparently, the absolute darkest, saddest parts of their histories.
So, determined to change that, Baze began to tell the story of how he and Chirrut met all those years ago. His friend interjected every now and then to correct him or to comment that he was a terrible storyteller, and the others slowly, hesitantly began to smile, then laugh. Cassian talked about his homeworld, about all he missed about Fest, especially the food. Jyn was so out of the habit of having friends that she found she wasn't sure what to talk about, but then she and Bodhi found a common interest in their love of flying, and she told them how she and her friend Hadder would often steal his mother's planet hopper when she was away on business.
Mara remained quiet throughout the meal. Bodhi was initially worried that she was uncomfortable, she didn't know any of these people and he couldn't expect his word to be enough to prove them trustworthy. But the more he watched her, he began to realise that she wasn't just being reticent. She was listening to everything they said, absorbing the information, asking the odd question, laughing when someone cracked a joke. She wasn't unhappy, she was learning. Mara had never had friends before and now she had a whole tableful.
Bodhi felt a sudden, immense wave of pride. She had been through horrors some couldn't even imagine and come out of it battered and bruised but happy. She'd never smiled so widely, she'd never felt so at ease, he didn't think he could be nearly so brave. He wanted to tell her, that and so much more, but he would wait until they were alone. Maybe if he was braver, he'd be able to tell her that he loved her.
As soon as the thought crossed his mind, his fingers clenched around his caf mug. He glanced at Chirrut. He knew he couldn't actually read his mind but there was something about the guardian, he wouldn't put it past him. Chirrut was happily spooning eggs into his mouth, listening as K-2SO and Cassian described one of their many great acts of daredevilry. Feeling stupid, Bodhi was about to turn back to his own breakfast when Chirrut raised his head slightly and gave him a knowing smile.
"I'm gonna get another caf," Bodhi said quickly, quietly, trying not to interrupt Cassian but needing an excuse to leave the table for a moment.
Mara watched him go. She was nervous about being left alone with his friends but then Baze asked her question about Alderaan and she was distracted.
Bodhi hurried over to the machine, sliding his mug under the spout. Immediately, black caf began to pour. He let the smell wash over him, calming his nerves.
"You're back then."
Bodhi froze. His good mood suddenly vanished. He recognised the voice, how could he forget it? Just a few words had sent a stab of cold fear through his stomach. His caf sat forgotten in the machine as he slowly turned around.
There were three men standing behind him, the ones who'd stared when he and Mara entered the ref. He couldn't remember all their names but he would know their faces anywhere. These men had had it out for him from the moment he arrived on Yavin 4. Mon Mothma had once reassured him that no harm would come to him here, but these Rebels had other ideas. They didn't trust him, they hated the very breath in his lungs, and no amount of good deeds would fix that. They weren't the type to easily change their minds.
Bodhi flinched when the largest man stepped closer. He was almost twice his height and about twice as wide too. He had muscles bigger than Bodhi's head. Rewss was the only man he knew by name; like Cassian, he was a skilled spy and well-liked amongst the Rebels, despite his violent proclivities.
"Look, I don't want any trouble." Bodhi raised his hands, a sign of peace, but they ignored him.
"We thought we were rid of you for good," one of the men said, making the other laugh. They weren't nearly as big as their friend but still fairly intimidating.
Bodhi looked over their shoulders at his friends across the ref. They hadn't noticed the Rebels approach him. Even Mara, who usually never let her guard down, was distracted by something Jyn was saying. She was trying so hard to get along with his friends that she hadn't noticed he was in trouble; it would be rather sweet if he weren't quite so terrified.
Rewss took another step closer. One of his strides was equal to about two of Bodhi's. He had a face like thunder, his huge hands balled into fists at his sides. "You got back just in time to watch your friends murder half the fleet," he said quietly, his voice low and coarse.
Bodhi held his ground but his heart was hammering in his chest. They couldn't hurt him, not here, not with so many people around. But then again, plenty of people were within earshot and hadn't bat an eyelid. Most Rebels held no animosity towards him but they didn't much care what happened to him either.
"You shouldn't be here." Rewss wrinkled his nose at him, like he was something disgusting, a smear on the bottom of his boot. "It's wrong. How's it fair that you survived and they didn't?"
Bodhi lowered his gaze, gritting his teeth. He'd asked himself the same question every day for as long as he'd been with the Rebellion. "It's not," he said, stupidly hoping that honesty would ease their bristling anger.
"You're a murderer," Rewss spat, now so close that he could smell the stale beer on his breath from the night before. Spittle coated Bodhi's skin and he grimaced, taking a step back. He bumped into the caf machine, spilling his abandoned drink onto the floor. He jumped to get out of the way and walked right into Rewss' grip.
He grabbed the front of Bodhi's shirt, bunching it up and yanking him forward so hard that his feet almost left the ground. Bodhi grunted in pain, his hands scrambling at the huge, meaty fist against his throat but he wouldn't budge.
"You're a traitor. You don't even deserve a trial, they should just take you outside and shoot you."
Another hand reached in, grabbed two of Rewss' fingers and wrenched them back so hard that he screamed and let Bodhi go. He took in a deep breath, filling his empty lungs, and stumbled back, putting as much space between him and Rewss as possible.
Mara stepped between them, still holding onto the man's fingers. She didn't play with her food, she was taught to be exact and pragmatic. She twisted Rewss' wrist around until his arm buckled and he cried out in pain.
"Mara, don't." Bodhi put a hand on her arm, fearfully looking around the room. More and more people were starting to notice them. He didn't want her getting into trouble because of him, but Mara couldn't care less.
"How dare you." Her voice was low and dangerous. She twisted his wrist until he sank to one knee. When he tried to grab at her hand, she struck his throat with the flats of her fingers, making him wheeze. "How dare you talk to him like that. Do you have any idea-"
"Mara, please." Bodhi stepped around her, placing a hand on top of hers. He gently tried to pull her fingers away from Rewss' but her grip was so strong, he couldn't move them an inch. He glanced at Rewss' friends but they didn't seem keen to go anywhere near Mara. "It's fine, let's just go."
Mara was quiet for a moment, her dark eyes never leaving Rewss' face. Then at last, she released him. The man sank to the ground, cradling his injured hand. He whimpered like a child, bent double. Mara met Bodhi's gaze. He saw the Royal Guard in her begin to retreat, that dark, ruthless haze in her eyes clearing. He took her hand, silently urging her to just leave it. He didn't want a fight. Mara didn't like the idea of letting Rewss off so easily but if it was what Bodhi wanted, then she would let him go.
They began to walk away, heading back for the table across the room where all of Bodhi's friends were standing up, ready to jump in and help if they needed it. But no, Mara was a one-woman army. The moment she spotted the men surrounding Bodhi, she leapt from her seat and crossed the room before any of the Rogue One team could even blink.
Bodhi thought they were in the clear and almost began to relax, but then he heard one of Rewss' friends begin to laugh.
"The famous pilot needs a girl to protect him," he sneered. Bodhi didn't rise to it but it made Mara hesitate slightly. He was just about to convince her to keep walking when he heard the man say, "That stupid bitch, she doesn't know what she's-"
Mara wheeled around, ready to slam her foot into the side of the man's knee before he even knew what was happening but for once, Bodhi was faster. They could bully him all they liked, but no one said a bad word about Mara in front of him. He swung his fist round, hitting the man so hard on the nose that they heard it crack. He yelped and staggered back, clutching his face.
Mara stared at the man as blood poured from his nose, then at Bodhi. It was a good thing he was left-handed, if he'd hit Rewss' friend with his prosthetic arm, there'd probably be a huge dent in his face. Mara didn't know if it was the adrenaline or the fact that no one had ever fought for her before, but she was suddenly overwhelmed with the desire to kiss Bodhi senseless.
"Oh, shit," she said instead, her eyes wide. She didn't know if she was more surprised or impressed. Bodhi shook out his hand, grinning through the pain. He'd wanted to do that for a long time.
"Captain Verbanti!"
The whole ref seemed to fall quiet. There was something about the sound of her title, her full name, that made Mara's back straighten. There were very few people who were able to boss her around, she certainly wasn't used to being told what to do by anyone other than her mother and the Royal Family. When she saw General Enlia Hesse standing by the door to the ref, flanked by two soldiers, Mara knew it would be better not to argue.
"You need to come with us," the general said, gesturing for her to follow them. If she'd witnessed what had transpired between them and the Rebels, she didn't give any indication of it. In fact, Mara found it very difficult to read her face at all. She looked back at Bodhi, glancing between him and his attackers, making sure that he was alright.
He tried to focus on her and not the hundreds of eyes on him or the fear crouching in his chest. She smiled.
"I'll fix it." Mara spoke softly so that only he could hear her. Then she turned and paced across the room without looking back.
Bodhi watched her leave. He hoped she would be alright. He wanted to go with her, but he knew Mara was more than capable of looking after herself. Cassian called out to him from across the ref. Bodhi waited until Mara had left the room before reluctantly joining his friends, leaving his tormentors to lick their wounds and sulk.
Mara followed General Hesse without a word. Her training had taught her to ask very few questions, but to build a picture of her surroundings by listening, drawing in information. Mara would wait for them to talk first, not wanting to give anything away that might implicate either her or, more importantly, Bodhi.
She was led down familiar corridors, getting the odd stare from curious Rebels as they passed. It was only when they arrived on the highest floor of the barracks that she began to feel nervous. They were just a few doors down from her quarters. But then, just as she was about to start asking questions, they stopped outside someone else's door.
Mara waited, watching carefully as Hesse knocked on the door. Then, to her surprise, the general dismissed the soldiers that had escorted her. The door slid open. Mara peered in but couldn't see anyone. She looked back at the general. She was smiling.
"I always keep my promises, Captain."
Mara's heart was suddenly in her mouth. She turned back to the open doorway, taking a deep breath before she stepped inside. The door slid shut behind her with a dull hiss, cutting her off from the world outside.
The room was large and comfortable, very different to Bodhi's basic quarters. They were above ground here, so there were even a few windows along the far wall, allowing the pale morning light to spill onto the soft carpet. Mara managed to note a large, soft bed and a dresser with a mirror before she saw her.
"Your highness?"
Leia was seated at a desk across the room, reading from a datapad, but turned around to face her at the sound of the door. She was still wearing that same white dress she'd been kidnapped in, Mara doubted they would be able to find her anything else to wear until after the dust had settled. Her hair was loose from its traditional buns. Mara's heart ached to see it, thinking of her own shorn hair. Leia serenely rose from her seat, just as graceful as she remembered.
"Mara."
Leia smiled gently as she joined her in the centre of the room. Mara found she could hardly move. After all this time, she was here. She was safe. She was smiling. Not because of her, but it would do.
"It's so good to see you again."
"You too." Mara's voice shook slightly. Leia took her hands in hers. It was the most physical contact they'd shared since Leia was a child. Even in the midst of a battle, even after all that they'd both been through, Leia was still royalty and Mara just her guard.
"I heard you tried to rescue me." Leia tilted her head slightly, giving Mara an almost scolding look. "I told you not to."
Mara nodded, finding it hard to meet her gaze. She never disobeyed direct orders, but she thought trying to rescue Leia from the clutches of an evil Sith Lord might be an adequate exception. But again, she knew when to pick her battles. "I know, ma'am."
"I also heard you stole a ship. And a pilot."
Mara had to hide a smile. "Yes, ma'am."
Leia squeezed her hands. She let out a long sigh, shaking her head as if she couldn't believe the story she'd been told about Mara's adventure across the stars. She didn't blame her, it was certainly a ridiculous journey and these Rebels only knew the half of it.
"Mara, you've gone above and beyond your station." Leia beamed at her. "I'm honoured to have you protecting me. Your mother would be proud."
Mara practically brimmed with happiness. Her throat felt tight, as if she were about to cry again, but she'd done too much of that over the last few days. She was done with tears and regrets, it was time to allow herself to be happy.
"Thank you," Mara whispered, not trusting her voice just yet. Leia raised her chin, and although she knew it was biologically impossible, Mara thought she saw a glint of Bail in her dark eyes. The way she held herself, so tall and proud, that was her father, but the way she spoke, powerful yet calm, concise, that was Breha. The princess looked older somehow. She'd always been wise beyond her years but now there was something new in her face, a shadow. It broke Mara's heart to see it.
The princess finally let go of her hands. She turned away to gather up her datapad again. The battle might've been won but this war wasn't over yet. Leia still had a lot of work to do, they all did. Unfortunately, they couldn't enjoy their triumph for very long.
She told Mara this, apologising for her divided attention, but of course, she understood. Mara no longer felt that desperation to spend her every waking moment in close proximity to her charge. Some anxieties would be harder to get rid of but now that they'd finally been reunited, Mara could leave now and never see her again, knowing that Leia was safe and happy. Besides, she had a new family now.
That made Mara pause. As Leia walked about the room, reading aloud from the datapad in her hands, her thoughts turned to what Jyn had told her over breakfast. There would be a ceremony tomorrow, an official celebration to mark the end of the Battle of Yavin. The princess would be handing out medals to those who'd shown extraordinary bravery during both the battle and the fights leading up to it. The Rogue One team were amongst the chosen few. All except one.
It was with a heavy heart that Baze told her Bodhi had not made the list. They had argued daily against the decision in his absence, and then when he and Mara finally returned to Yavin 4, they had petitioned the generals again, trying to get them to change their minds. But they remained firm. Bodhi was not worthy of reward.
Mara had felt sick to her stomach when she heard this. Bodhi had almost died fighting for a Rebellion that continued to scorn him. He risked everything to deliver Galen's message, he was tortured, imprisoned, driven half mad, and they still refused to see him as anything other than a defected Imperial. Mara thought he was a hero, and she thought that everyone needed to see it.
"Your highness?" She didn't mean to sound quite so hesitant but her voice wavered slightly.
Leia looked up from her datapad with a smile. "I've known you all my life, Mara. I think you better call me Leia now."
Mara barely stopped herself from scoffing at that. She knew their relationship had shifted slightly but she didn't think there would ever be cause for her to address her so informally. "About tomorrow… I know you're honouring some of the Rebels and the men who rescued you…"
Leia gave a derisive laugh. "I wouldn't call it much of a rescue. I'm sure you would've done a much neater job."
Mara didn't doubt that. For the first time in years, she and Leia laughed together. "I know it's not my place and I hope you won't find me impertinent..."
"Mara, you have done so much for me and my family. Whatever you need, just name it."
Mara smiled.