A day passed and very little happened on Yavin 4. After months of seemingly unceasing fear, there was finally room to breathe, to regroup. The celebratory medal ceremony was postponed by two days. More and more refugees were pouring onto Yavin 4 now that it was safe to travel again, and they needed to be properly logged and checked over by the medcentre staff before new homes could be found for them.
There were even a few Alderaanians amongst the crowds, no one that Mara knew, but it was a relief to know that she, Trew and the few remaining Royal Guards, and Leia weren't all that was left. There were around thirty surviving Alderaanians on Yavin 4 in total. They speculated that there were possibly hundreds more spread out across the galaxy, who would find aid elsewhere.
The expatriates had heard of Alderaan's fate and immediately grouped together, gathering all they could to help the survivors. They travelled across the stars to Yavin 4 as soon as the path was free of Imperials, bringing with them food, medicine, and, much to their delight, clothes. Leia was finally able to change out of the dress she'd been kidnapped in; another few days and it would have been walking around by itself. She was even gifted a gold and white gown from the people of Zunial, and a necklace from the Friysalll Republic.
The Alderaanians shared what little they owned with Mara and Trew. They were so grateful, they hardly knew what to say. Mara had had her beloved jacket cleaned but the day before the ceremony, Trew surprised her by producing the small case she'd taken with her on the Tantive IV. She had thought it lost, but Trew explained that when the Rebels came to their rescue, she made sure to collect all their possessions. With a sad smile, she explained it was so that their fallen friends' belongings could be returned to their families.
On the day of the ceremony, Mara left Bodhi in bed, whispering that she would be back soon by his ear. She wasn't certain that he heard her, but he sleepily squeezed her hand. Mara padded up to her room on the highest level and shutting the door behind her, dragged her case out from under the bed and laid it on top of the mattress. She hadn't opened it since Trew gave it to her the night before.
Mara stared at the suitcase. She had once believed that her uniform jacket was all she owned from home. Now she had been given a treasure chest of personal belongings, relics of her past life. She almost didn't want to open it, afraid of the emotions it would stir up. Mara could hardly even remember what she packed all those weeks ago. It wouldn't be much, but it was still difficult to open.
At last, she mustered all her courage and snapped open the clasps. Mara stared at its contents. She hadn't expected much and yet she was still underwhelmed. She carefully picked at her clothes, simple white and pale blue items that marked her as a Royal Guard even when she was off-duty.
Underneath these lay her dress uniform, a more elaborate, decorated version of her everyday one. The dark, sapphire blue stood out amongst the faded colours of her civvies. Mara could feel her heart in her throat as she pulled the jacket from the case. It jangled softly, much to her embarrassment. There was so much gold braid attached to it that she sounded like the percussion section of a band whenever she moved. Still, she supposed she should be proud to wear it, especially on a day like today.
Mara showered, using the brush she'd found in her case to tame her hair for what felt like the first time in weeks. She stood in front of the mirror, flattening the jacket against her. She didn't look quite the same as she remembered. Her face was a little narrower from the lack of proper, hearty food and she knew she wasn't as strong as she used to be. Her hair barely brushed her shoulders, the ends still jagged and uneven from the Adarian's blade. Only her eyes seemed unchanged.
Mara slowly dressed, unused to the uniform and uncertain of how to wear it properly. Her mother had always helped her before. Tears stung her eyes as she raised the material to her face and breathed in deeply, finding it smelled like home. She hadn't had much occasion to wear it, this particular uniform was only for the most prestigious events, if she was going to be in full view of the public. For most major occasions, Mara would delegate others to watch over the Royal Family, while she and the highest ranking officers - including Trew - would oversee operations. Back then, to even be in a different room to Leia caused Mara an almost overwhelming anxiety. Look at you now.
Mara straightened out her jacket, tugging it sharply by the hem so that it sat right on her. It was tailored so it fit perfectly, though now the shoulders seemed much broader than her own, and the gold epaulettes stuck out a little further than her body underneath them, but it would have to do. She wasn't used to wearing the aiguillettes, she'd only been awarded them a few months before she left Alderaan for the last time. The gold-wire cord hung from her right shoulder, tipped with a miniature version of her sovereign's cypher. It shone against the deep blue of the material.
Mara ran her hands down the front of the jacket, her fingers catching on the gold buttons. She almost looked like herself again, an illusion that nothing had changed at all. But Mara knew better. She sighed slightly, frustrated with herself for feeling so lost. She looked like a Royal Guard, and Leia seemed to still want her around, but she knew that returning to her old life meant losing this new one she'd only just begun to know. Even if she did want to go back, would she be able to? She was not the person she used to be, and she was glad of it, but Mara wasn't sure that she could be the captain that her mother had trained her to be anymore.
She pulled at her hair to distract herself, tutting under her breath when it flicked up at the ends. She looked so untidy, Mara damned the Adarian who had taken away her most precious birthright as an Alderaanian. But then, hair grew back. Feelings tended to be a little harder to regenerate. Mara sighed again, and reached for the brush, trying to tidy herself up as best she could. She wouldn't be able to put it up in the fashion that she would have done if she were home, her hair wasn't nearly long enough now, but there was one style she might be able to manage. And, she supposed, it was far more important anyway.
When she had finished getting changed, she headed back downstairs via the refectory and knocked on Bodhi's door. He greeted her with a wide smile, which vanished as suddenly as it appeared when he saw what she was wearing.
Bodhi knew he was staring, but how could he not? Mara looked incredible, everything about her seemed to just glow. The dark blue of her uniform was a bolt of colour in his dreary military-grey surroundings, and the gold from the medals over her heart seemed to reflect in her eyes. Her smile quickened his heart and he found he was almost out of breath. Bodhi had never seen a more beautiful person in all his life. He wanted to tell her, he wanted to put his arms around her and tell her how wonderful she looked between gentle, lingering kisses, but instead, he merely smiled and said,
"Nice outfit."
Mara must have thought he was teasing her because she only gave him a wry smile in response.
"Here," She lifted up the two cups she'd brought with her. "I got tea and caf. I wasn't sure what you'd prefer; I thought I'd just have whatever you didn't choose."
Bodhi grinned and took the caf. "Thank you."
He bent forward and kissed her cheek quickly, hardly brushing her skin, the most natural of affectionate gestures, and yet it still made Mara's heart go all stupid. She watched him walk across the room to grab his jacket, admiring his new look. The clothes he'd borrowed from Rej actually fit him rather nicely. She allowed herself to trace the outline of his figure before saying, "Your face went bald."
Bodhi hummed, running his free hand over his chin. "Felt it was time for a change." He'd had his beard for a few years now but something about it reminded him of the past. He had a fresh start now, he wanted to look the part. "What do you think?"
"Very handsome," Mara said with a smile that made Bodhi's confidence evaporate. "And you cut your hair."
"It's a Jedhan tradition. It's a sign of mourning. Chirrut and Baze have done it too."
When he went to ask Rej for some clothes, he spotted his razor and asked if he could borrow that too. Of course, Rej obliged, saying that he owed Mara one anyway and she was sure to be thankful. Bodhi had only given him a good-natured shove at the time but now he could see that Mara actually did appear to like the new look. He would have to thank Rej later.
His hair used to hang just below his shoulders. Most Jedhan men wore it this way, making the mourning ritual all the more impactful. His hair was much shorter now, it no longer fell into his eyes, but it had been so long since he cut it that he'd forgotten it went a little curly when it was shorter, much to Bodhi's dismay. Though, from the way Mara was looking at him, he supposed it wasn't so bad.
"I'm glad you have them," she said, thinking of her own tenuous relationship with the few Alderaanians who now lived on Yavin 4. "You should keep them close.
Bodhi's smile was thin but he had to agree. In truth, he found it difficult to imagine ever developing a sincere, close relationship with Chirrut and Baze. All they had in common was their homeworld and Scarif. He told Mara this, and she smiled.
"Is that all?"
She had this look, like she wasn't sure they were in a place where she could tease him about something so personal, but Bodhi was tired of people treading on eggshells around him. He began to smile too and Mara's heart slowed.
He gazed at her, just taking her in, slowly travelling from her dark hair and smirking lips all the way down to her shoes. He still couldn't get over the uniform, she looked incredible. He met her eyes again and felt his face grow hot when he saw she was smiling. Mara didn't feel at all uncomfortable under his gaze, in fact, she found she rather liked having Bodhi look at her.
He looked away and gave her a crooked smile. Come on, he thought. Tell her. Just be brave and tell her. "You look..."
Mara looked down at her clothes, running a hand over the material to smooth it down. "Oh, it's my dress uniform. Didn't think I'd ever see it again." Bodhi was still staring at her. She gave him a nervous smile. "It's a lot, I know. It's only for special occasions."
"You look beautiful."
Mara's mouth hung open slightly, her next words falling silent on her tongue. After all this time, after all the lovely things he'd said to her, it was still a shock. Bodhi gave her a shy sort of smile but it was no less warm. They both looked so different now than when they first met. She supposed they'd both changed, inside and out, and hopefully for the better.
Mara realised she hadn't responded and made an odd sort of choking noise whilst she tried to think of an adequate reply but found nothing. Instead, she cleared her throat and nervously tugged at the front of her uniform.
"Are you ready?" Mara saw him smiling at her knowingly and felt her cheeks starting to heat up. "The medal ceremony starts soon, you don't wanna be late."
Bodhi frowned. "Just me? You not coming?"
"I'm meeting Trew. I have some things to sort out." Mara knew he would've liked her to explain but she couldn't, at least, not yet. Instead, she forced a smile and stepped nearer.
Bodhi felt his heart begin to pound as she reached up, her hands stalling by his collar. She asked a silent question with a quirk of her eyebrows, and Bodhi nodded, his eyes searching her face. Mara smiled softly as she readjusted his collar for him, pulling it into place, then smoothed her palms across his clavicle and up over his shoulders.
"I'll see you there," she murmured, giving him a stunning smile. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."
Bodhi found himself grinning. "You just wanna get a proper look at the blokes who rescued the princess."
Mara tried to stop herself looking down at his mouth but it was just so gorgeous, she couldn't resist. His lips tugged back at the corners, making little creases appear by the sides of his mouth, tiny indents that had been hidden by his beard until now. "Size them up for me." Mara squeezed his shoulders gently, turning away as quickly as possible so that he wouldn't see her flushed skin. "I'll see you in a bit."
Bodhi watched her leave, mesmerised by the power of her stride and the curve of her waist beneath her tailored uniform. Now, he thought, you could tell her now. What's stopping you? He loved her, he loved her so much his heart ached just to be near her. And although Bodhi couldn't be certain, he had seen it, seen it in the warmth of her gaze and the tenderness of her touch, and allowed himself to hope that Mara might feel the same way.
He knew it was a long shot, that Mara had been raised understanding, not just that she wouldn't fall in love, but that she couldn't. Half of him feared that the idea had never even crossed her mind. And why should it? What had he done to deserve her? Why should Mara drop everything and let the last dregs of the life she knew slip through her fingers, just to be with him?
Bodhi watched her walk to the door, trying to force himself to say something. It was only when Mara had stepped through the door and out into the hall that he finally plucked up the courage. "Mara..."
She stopped and ducked her head back in, smiling brightly, completely unaware of his inner turmoil. "Yeah?"
Bodhi's mouth opened but no sound came out. You're so beautiful. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You're the love of my life. But he didn't say that. Instead, he simply smiled and said, "See you in a bit."
Mara seemed to realise that there was something else, something he was holding back, but she didn't question him. With one last smile, she left the room.
Bodhi stared at the door as it slid shut behind her. Maker, how could he be such a coward? This was Mara, he could tell her anything, he could be himself with her, why was this so difficult? He groaned and pulled a hand down his face. He supposed he had more important things to worry about anyway, at least for the moment. Mara was right, the medal ceremony was about to begin.
Bodhi tried to ignore the ever-tightening knot in his stomach, tried not to think about the rows upon rows of Rebels who hated him all gathered in one place, and most of all, tried not to think about how close he'd come to telling Mara how he felt before he verbally fell flat on his face. He sighed, uselessly straightened out his clothes one last time in the mirror, then left his quarters.
Mara turned the palm-sized holopad over in her hands, running a thumb over its smooth surface. "Thank you."
The engineer, Jast, gave her a half-hearted salute and said his goodbyes, leaving her alone on the balcony. Mara looked down at the holopad for a moment, biting back a smile. She didn't want to leave Bodhi alone, not on a day like today, but hopefully, it would be worth it.
"Did you hear?"
She looked up and found Trew by her side. She hadn't heard her approach. Mara's heart lurched when she realised she had also chosen to wear the Alderaanian mourning braid, twisting a lock of hair and laying it across the top of the head like a crown.
"Probably not." Mara gave a rueful smile, pocketing the holopad. She turned back to look down at the crowds. "I'm a bit out of the loop these days."
They stood on a narrow balcony that overlooked the huge ruins of the main temple. Hundreds of troops were lined up in neat rows, waiting for the ceremony to begin with tangible excitement. Banners hung from every available surface; white and gold streamers cascaded like waterfalls down into the crowds. At the far end of the temple, their beautiful, young Senator Leia was a vision in white.
Mara and Trew watched her for a moment, not saying anything, but knowing they both shared that same, proud yet melancholy feeling. They were the only ones up so high, they had a bird's eye view of the whole ceremony, while the rest of the Rebels had chosen to swarm together, excited to cheer on their heroes. Mara tried to pick out the few faces she knew but there were so many troops, it was difficult to tell one person from another.
"The Rebels are moving to a new base soon," Trew said after a moment. "Leia's going with them."
Mara's jaw tightened. She squeezed the edge of the balcony, her fingernails digging into the paint. "Do you think... Am I..?"
"You're still her guardian, Captain." Trew gave her a reassuring smile. "She wants you to come with her. Both of us. We're all that's left of home, I suppose."
"Where's the new base?"
"Hoth. No, I've never heard of it either."
They watched in silence as the two men who rescued Leia solemnly marched up the long aisle to where the princess stood. Luke and Han, those were their names. Mara stared at them in disbelief. What a ridiculous pair. She and Trew shared a glance, an unspoken agreement of bewilderment. How had these idiots managed to do a better job of protecting Leia than they had?
The farm boy and the smuggler were flanked by a Wookie. Mara arched an eyebrow but refrained from commenting. Together, they knelt before Senator Leia. Good, at least they had some sense of respect and decorum. From one side of the stage, a shiny, little R2 unit waddled up to the group, taking its place next to an equally pristine, golden protocol droid. Even over the roar of the cheering crowd and boisterous brass band, they could hear the little droid chirping happily. It and the protocol droid seemed rather awestruck by the whole event.
Mara smiled, amused by their befuddled expressions, but it soon vanished when Trew spoke again.
"I know..."
When her lieutenant trailed off, Mara tore her gaze away from the show. "What?"
"I know you've... Changed." Trew found it hard to meet her eyes. "You're still my captain. I would follow you to the end of the world. Feels like I have." They shared a sad sort of smile, neither of them daring to think of home. "But I know that pilot..."
"Bodhi. His name's Bodhi," Mara said quietly. She turned back to look down at the ceremony as the cheering suddenly fizzled out.
Dodonna and several other dignitaries sat on Leia's left side, and they all rose to their feet as she did. The crowd could barely contain itself as the princess placed a gold medallion around Han Solo's neck. He winked at her, making Mara scowl, but Leia gave him a wry smile in response. She then repeated the ceremony with Luke. Unlike his friend, he seemed rather moved by the event. They turned and faced the assembled troops, who all bowed before them.
"You're happy now," Trew went on, barely murmuring despite the racket all around them. "And I know you haven't been for a long time."
That made Mara's heart stop. She kept her gaze on the crowds, her jaw ridged. She didn't want to give away just how much Trew had winded her. How long had the people around her been able to see that she was suffering while she had no idea? Though Mara tried to hide her feelings, they were clear as day on her face.
Trew mentally kicked herself. "I know it's not my place..."
Mara shook her head slightly, giving her lieutenant a fleeting smile that didn't meet her eyes. "It's fine, Trew."
"I just want you to make the right decision for you." Trew hesitated before gently resting her hand on Mara's forearm. Her captain turned her head and held her gaze properly for the first time.
Neither of them were used to physical contact, neither of them were used to expressing their true feelings quite so openly, but they both knew it was time they started practicing. After an agonising few moments, Mara gave her a more genuine smile.
"You've spent your whole life thinking of someone else. We all have." Trew gently squeezed her arm. "For once, think about yourself, and not Leia, or me, or your mother."
A trumpet sounded below, marking the beginning of the next round of medal giving. Mara scanned the crowds, looking for one face in particular, and found Bodhi standing just on the edge of the aisle. Chirrut and Baze were by his side. They had respectfully declined their medals, Guardians of the Whills couldn't keep personal items or accept gifts of any sort, not even from such esteemed company. Mara smiled when she saw Chirrut put a hand on Bodhi's shoulder, reassuring him.
She wanted to be down there with him but she supposed she had a much better view from up here. Though he was some distance away, she thought Bodhi looked quite proud as he watched his friends walk up the centre aisle. Jyn and Cassian both seemed a little embarrassed as they stood before the princess, like they weren't sure what they'd done to deserve the honour, and though it was difficult to tell exactly what the droid was thinking, K-2SO seemed less than impressed, exuding an air of quiet indifference. It made Mara and Bodhi grin.
As Leia raised her hands for silence again, Mara leaned forward over the balcony, feeling her blood practically buzz with anticipation.
Far below her, Bodhi looked around, wondering where Mara had got to. He wouldn't mind if she'd decided not to come. After all, no one she knew was being honoured today and he supposed she had a lot on her plate now that she'd been reunited with the princess. Still, it would've been nice to see her, to have her support.
Bodhi learned that the Rogue One team were to be honoured soon after he arrived back on Yavin 4. Deffan had told him, he was so furious that he'd been snubbed that he let the news slip. Bodhi was angry too at first. He didn't know what else he could do to prove himself, but he knew the generals didn't see him the way that they saw Jyn and Cassian, even after everything that had happened, even with Deffan and Chirrut and Baze and all the others vouching for him. He didn't mind, not really, he didn't risk it all for recognition, he just wanted to do what was right. Though, as Jyn and Cassian and K-2 bowed to the princess, he couldn't pretend that the Rebels' obvious hatred towards him didn't sting.
Just as she had done for Luke and Han and the other Rebels honoured that day, Leia gestured for the medals to be brought forward by a steward. It didn't occur to anyone to wonder why he held four boxes for three honourees. Leia didn't have to read from the holopad this time, the names of these heroes were spoken in hushed, awed voices across the whole galaxy as their stories were told.
"Cassian Andor. Jyn Erso. Chirrut Îmwe. Baze Malbus. K-2SO." Leia paused when she realised they were one short. The monk and his friend she knew would not be accepting a medal, but there was someone missing.
Up on the balcony, Mara held her breath.
Leia raised her chin, her gaze scanning the crowds. "Bodhi Rook."
What was once a respectful silence suddenly became taught and strained. All eyes turn to him but Bodhi couldn't look away from the princess. People began to murmur around him, some irritated, spitting out that he didn't deserve to be honoured, some were surprised and wondered why he was in the crowd and not up there with the others from the Rogue One team already.
He couldn't move. He felt completely numb. His knees shook, he almost stumbled, but then Bodhi felt a hand on his back. Baze. He smiled, murmuring that he should go join his brothers and sisters. Bodhi looked up at the altar again and found that Jyn and Cassian were smiling too. Even K-2SO seemed pleased.
He stepped out into the aisle, keeping his eyes on his friends to guide him. When he reached the stage, Cassian patted his back, and Jyn shot him a rare grin. Bodhi could feel the eyes of the world on his back but then Princess Leia stepped before him and he forgot about everything, the pain and the loss and heartache. She beamed down at him, asking him to bow his head with an almost imperceptible wave of her hand so that she could place the medal around his neck.
It was heavy, he almost fell forward under its weight, and the same gold as the braid on the front of Mara's uniform. As Bodhi straightened up, he thought he heard Leia laugh softly, little more than an exhalation. He looked up and met her gaze. So this was the princess, the person Mara had dedicated her life to. She had stern, clever eyes, just like her guardian, and seemed far older than her age allowed. She smiled at him and suddenly Bodhi knew that he belonged.
"I've heard a lot about you, Bodhi." Leia leaned forward, inclining her head just a fraction, so that she could speak to him and only him. "Thank you."
Bodhi, still a little awe-struck, could only shake his head. "What for, your highness?"
"For bringing her home," Leia said, and for a moment, a flicker of sadness crossed her face.
She looked up and Bodhi followed her gaze. High above their heads, a long balcony wrapped around the inside of the ruins. Leaning over the side was Leia's Captain Verbanti, smiling down at them was his Mara. She did say she wouldn't miss this for the world. Bodhi grinned up at her and in return, Mara placed her hand over her heart, giving him a slight bow as if to say 'Well done. I'm proud of you'. He only tore his gaze away when Leia spoke again, this time addressing the whole team.
"You fought where others feared to tread and brought us hope." Leia beamed at the Rogue One team, then bowed her head. "We thank you."
Bodhi turned with his friends to face the crowds. He thought they might protest, or at least refuse to acknowledge the princess' decision, but they didn't. They erupted into applause, just as they had done for all the other Rebels honoured that day. He saw Deffan and Rej standing nearby, cupping their hands around their mouths as they roared. He saw Itzpalo raise her hands above her head, clapping so hard that the palms of her hands stung. He saw Yunlo and Adina perched on top of a fallen column with a dozen other engineers that he'd worked with, all hollering and cheering.
Bodhi looked at his friends stood either side of him. Cassian looked just as bewildered as he felt, maybe he couldn't believe this was real either. Jyn held her medal in her hands, running her thumb over the intricate design. He wondered if she was thinking about her mother and father. They were all outcasts, all broken and tired and afraid, but they'd survived, they'd triumphed. Together. As he gazed out at the cheering crowds, Bodhi thought about all that he'd lost and all that he'd gained. Perhaps he did belong after all.
Up on the balcony, Mara rested her head on the palm of her hand. Trew excused herself but she barely noticed her absence. She watched Bodhi wave shyly to a few of his friends as he stepped down from the stage. She almost lost track of him as he moved through the crowds, preparing for the arrival of the next honourees. Mara gazed at the man who had once been a stranger, just a pilot. She could still see him in the shuttle on the night they met, beaten-down and frightened, a shell of a man. How could she have known that one day, he would mean everything to her.
Mara took in a deep breath and moved away from the balcony. She needed a moment to collect her thoughts, to try and make sense of the feelings that overwhelmed her. Seeing Bodhi finally get the recognition he deserved, it made her so happy she could barely contain it, the way she always felt around him. A thought fluttered into her head, alighting, shaking fear and worry from its wings. Over the last weeks, she had never actually addressed her feelings for him. Mara was so emotionally inarticulate that most of the time, she just tried to ignore them. But it was getting harder and harder, these feelings would not be suppressed.
She cared for Bodhi, yes. She trusted him more than she ever thought possible, she enjoyed spending time with him, he occupied her thoughts, her dreams, and though she blushed to address it, she certainly felt a physical attraction to him. But love... Truth be told, she'd always doubted that she was even capable of such a thing. But that was before. That was her old life. That was Captain Verbanti. Now...
Mara drew in a deep breath, trying to slow her racing heart but to little effect. Bodhi. Even the word, the name, saying it weighed on her tongue. It sounded and felt important, precious. Just thinking about him left her feeling warm all over, happy in a way that she never thought possible. Everything about him, she adored every single thing about him. Even when he was teasing her, even when he was infuriating and stubborn and he defied her and didn't let her order him about. The way he laughed, that glint in his eye when he was about to say something clever, that curve in his smile, the melted gold in his touch.
Mara realised she was smiling. Perhaps it was true. Perhaps this was love. She thought about all they'd done for each other, all that they'd said. Bodhi had done nothing but help her from the moment they met, even when she threatened him and took him away from his friends. He kept her warm and she protected him from the Pitians and the Adarians and an all manner of others who wanted to hurt him. He always made sure that she had enough to eat and never once complained as he flew her all around the galaxy. Bodhi was everything to her.
Mara didn't know a lot about the galaxy, she didn't know what the future held for her, but in that moment, alone on a balcony on a strange planet, far from home, she knew that she was in love with Bodhi Rook.
She let out a breathy, nervous, disbelieving sort of laugh. She loved him. She loved him. But did he feel the same way? Mara could barely understand her own feelings, what chance did she have trying to guess someone else's? Bodhi was kind to her, tender and gentle in a way that she'd never experienced before, and that look in his eyes, that light, could that be it? Could that mean that he loved her too?
Expeditious as ever, doubt began to cloud her mind. Would who she was, who she really was, be enough? There was nothing keeping them together now, no agreements or threats. If Bodhi chose to stay with her, it would be because he wanted to. Mara leaned back against the pillar, letting it take her weight so that she slumped against it. Would Bodhi want to stay with her? Now that he was home, now that he was with his friends again, now that he had everything he wanted, would he even want to see her anymore?
When he looked at her, what would he see? The ferocious brute who kidnapped him? Or who she really was, lonely and scarred and desperate for a home of her own. She'd only just got used to having friends, she'd only just got used to sleeping in the same bed as someone. If Bodhi changed his mind, that would all be gone. Now that he'd stuck to his word and flown her halfway across the galaxy and back, would he even want to be with her? Would Bodhi like her for who she was?
She left the balcony when the crowds began to disperse. The medal ceremony was over; normalcy proceeded. Mara found her way through the winding, dark corridors, down to the ground floor where she hoped to catch Bodhi as he was coming in. Rebels were still filtering into the main entrance hall, probably on their way to find some lunch or change out of their best clothes. She spotted Trew across the room, talking with a steward. Mara thought about going to join her but then she felt someone brush her elbow.
"Hi, Rej."
"Captain, you're looking even more breath-taking than ever."
"Rej."
"Ah, c'mon, it's a party." Rejnian grinned, leaning against the pillar beside her. "Who's your friend?"
"That's Trew Lorenna." Mara turned her head just enough so that she could see him out of the corner of her eye. "Dogs barking, wrong tree."
"I thought you said you didn't have any gorgeous captain friends for me?"
"Well, Trew's a lieutenant."
"You didn't mention her on a technicality."
"To be fair, I only found out she was alive a few days ago."
Rejnian tutted, disappointed. "That's no excuse."
He straightened up when Trew looked their way. She excused herself from the steward and made her way towards them. Far taller than Mara but just as broad, Trew was certainly a fearsome woman, even with her intricately patterned hair and soft features. Still, Rej didn't seem the least bit intimidated. He saw the medals on her chest and the power in her stride, and couldn't help smiling, absolutely mesmerised.
"Pleasure to meet you, beautiful," he said, eye-wateringly confident. "I'm Rejnian but my friends just call me Rej."
Mara barely managed to stop herself wincing. Trew looked the engineer up and down. She seemed somewhat surprised that someone would speak to her in such a way, so forward and informal. Mara knew she would have worn the same, slightly irritated expression before she met Bodhi. She wondered if Trew would ever shake the training she'd been raised with, or if she was destined for a lifetime of isolation.
"Nice to meet you, Rejnian," Trew said darkly, then turned to Mara. "I'm going to find Leia. Are you coming?"
Over the past few weeks, Mara had often thought how fortunate she would be if she were able to know she was experiencing the most pivotal moments of her life while she was in them. She might've hesitated before accepting the role of captain, she might've stopped and taken one last look at her planet before she left for the last time, she might've been kinder to Bodhi when they first met.
How fortunate we would all be if we could know we were in the most important moments in our lives before we left them. Someone must have been smiling on her, some cosmic force she didn't believe in, because that day, Mara did know. This was it, this was an important choice. She shook her head. No, I'm staying here.
Trew didn't question her, Mara was still her captain. She walked away after one last salute.
Rej sighed dreamily. "Oh, I'm in love."
Mara chuckled, shaking her head. Trew passed a figure as she moved through the main doorway. Mara's heart softened; Rej's last words echoing in her head. Bodhi. He'd stopped at the sight of her. He was smiling so widely, she doubted anyone had ever looked at another person with such warmth and adoration.
As he came closer, Rej said goodbye to Mara, planning to follow after her lieutenant. He clapped a hand on Bodhi's shoulder as he passed him, grinning from ear to ear. "Thought I'd see you in the cheap seats. Congrats, man."
"Thanks, Rej," Bodhi said quietly, still in quite a state of shock about the whole thing.
Mara watched him go, chuckling to herself, before she looked back at Bodhi. His smile still hadn't wavered. His eyes never left hers as he crossed the room to meet her.
Mara could only wonder how she hadn't realised her feelings sooner. Bodhi always made her feel so safe. The things that had happened to her, all that grief and fear, losing Alderaan - she'd never known pain like it. Still now, it took her breath away. There were times that she forgot, and she thought about her bedroom, or the bakery on the corner of the high street, or the burning orange sunsets over the mountains, and then suddenly, she remembered what had happened to her home, and she just wanted to scream. But then Bodhi was there to hold her hand, to make her laugh, to help her carry on, and the pain wasn't forgotten but dulled, and Mara knew that she had to keep living until she felt alive again.
"Congratulations," she said quietly as he joined her. They were tucked away behind a pillar, not completely out of sight but no one would notice they were there either.
Bodhi shook his head slightly. "I can't believe it. I didn't think..." He picked up the medal between two hands, cradling it in his palms. The gold felt warm in his hands.
"Can I see?"
Bodhi moved to pull the medal from around his neck so that he could pass it to her but instead, Mara stepped closer and picked it up. Her fingertips brushed his chest; he tried not to sigh.
It was heavier than she expected. The symbol of the Alliance had been stamped onto one side of the disc and on the other, the crest of Alderaan, the same one that decorated her arm. Mara hummed, pleased. "You'll have to find a good place to put it so everyone can see what a hero you are." She gently placed it back so that it wouldn't swing and hit his chest, pressing her fingers against it for a moment before moving away. "I'd wear it every day."
Bodhi gazed at her for a moment, a faint smile on his lips. "It was you, wasn't it?" he murmured. "You spoke to the princess."
Mara almost denied it, but she supposed there was no point. She gave him a rueful smile, picking up the medal again. "For outstanding valour and assisting in the rescue of our great leader, I award you, Bodhi Rook, this medal of honour. May it stand as a reminder of your bravery," She smiled. "And of my gratitude."
Bodhi couldn't stop smiling if his life depended on it. "Thank you." He took the medal off, slipping it into his pocket where it would be safe. He truly appreciated the honour but he was a modest man at heart and he couldn't see himself happily walking around with it around his neck. "Where's yours?" he asked, gesturing towards her other medals from previous accomplishments. He made a mental note to ask about them later.
Mara laughed, as if what he'd said was completely ridiculous. "Oh, I don't get one. I haven't done anything."
Bodhi gawped at her. "You can't be serious?" When Mara frowned, confused, he scoffed. "Mara, you- You helped people escape a captured starship, you risked your life to find the princess, you crossed the galaxy, you were captured by pirates and imprisoned and-"
Mara put a gentle hand over his; he'd begun to gesture more and more wildly as his exasperation grew. "It's my job, Bodhi." She smiled, quite touched that he felt so strongly about the matter.
Bodhi gazed at her for a moment, only just beginning to realise how close they were. Mara was so beautiful, all clever smiles and dark eyes. He followed the curve of her face, the faint freckles and scars that patterned her skin, the shape of her lips. Now. Tell her now.
"Well, I think you deserve a medal," he murmured, stepping closer. "You can share mine."
Mara raised her eyebrows as he drew closer still. "I don't think we'll be able to fit both our heads in there."
Bodhi smiled. "We'll just have to stand very close."
Mara felt her stomach pleasantly twist into knots, a feeling she would only ever associate with him. Bodhi was barely a hand's-breadth away. He'd been far closer than this - they slept in each other's arms every night, for crying out loud - but suddenly the proximity was overwhelming and it took her a few moments to string her few remaining coherent thoughts together in order to form a sentence. "Might be a bit crowded," she murmured, taking a tentative step towards him, and he was so very close now.
Bodhi smiled, shaking his head slightly as he bent forward. "I don't mind." He leaned in, moving purposefully slow so that she had every opportunity to pull back, but she didn't. In fact, Mara was smiling.
She closed her eyes, letting out a shaky breath. He was still a few tantalising inches away but she could feel him as if he were pressed against her. His breath brushed her cheek, then his fingertips as he tucked her hair behind her ear.
Bodhi could feel the warmth radiating off her body. It was taking everything in him not to close the distance between them. He knew that this was new to her, that this was important, and he'd waited this long, he could stand the last few agonising moments. He closed his eyes, tilting his head forwards until they were so close that their noses brushed. "Mara..."
He spoke her name with such reverence, it took her breath away. Mara had never heard anything like it. She'd never felt so - oh, she wasn't sure of the right word - alive? Her every nerve seemed to light up, her heart thudding so hard she could hardly stand it, her whole body aching, pulled towards Bodhi by some invisible force. She tilted her head forward until her forehead touched his, and felt Bodhi jump slightly at the contact. He gave a long, shuddering breath, finding it incredibly difficult not to relieve himself of the building tension, and Mara could have cried from knowing that he was feeling exactly what she was.
But then, something clicked in her head. No, no. this wasn't right. This wasn't it, there was too much left in their way, there was still so much to discuss, to worry about. Mara pulled away, shaking her head, her eyes squeezed shut. "I can't."
Bodhi opened his eyes, saw her pained expression, and felt his heart sink down into his stomach. He stepped back, giving her space. "I'm sorry," he said, his voice low and hoarse. "I'm sorry, Mar, I shouldn't have-"
"No, Bodhi, I just..."
Mara put a hand on his chest to stop him, to reassure him, then pulled it back again as if surprised by the action. She looked away, chewing on her lip. Bodhi waited, understanding that she needed time to find the right words. He would wait forever if she wanted him to.
Finally, and with some difficulty, Mara met his gaze again. "I'm leaving. Soon. They found a new base on Hoth, this planet way out in the middle of nowhere, and... I might never see you again."
Mara's throat felt so tight, she could hardly get the words out. Her chest burned as if she'd been holding her breath in icy water. She was so confused. Where was her mother to guide her? Where was Breha to help ease her mind? Why was she always always alone? The only person in the whole galaxy who had ever made her feel safe was the one suddenly making it hard to speak.
Mara found it difficult to look at Bodhi, so torn and confused by her own feelings that she hadn't even noticed she'd started to cry. "And it's really hard because I don't want to go." Her last word was almost lost, her voice cracking. Mara shook her head. "No, I do," she said, as if reminding herself. "I want to go, I need to be with Leia but I want... You, I want to be with you." His face fell, and Mara realised that this is what heartbreak must feel like. "And I know that if we... I'm not going to be able to leave."
She gestured between them, and Bodhi knew she wasn't just talking about their almost kiss, she was talking about them, about being together, about finally addressing what had been on both their minds over the last few days. He realised he'd been holding his breath. Mara wanted to be with him; Mara cared about him. The thought was enough to make his heart spin. But she looked so sad... He hated the idea that he could make her feel this way, so unsure of herself, so vulnerable. It was suddenly abundantly clear that this was his moment to prove he was as brave as people said he was.
Mara had grown up without a family, without friends. Helenia had always been more of a captain than a mother, and the Royal Family were always kept at a distance. She was told from the moment she was born that she would never be allowed to fall in love, to have friendships, to build a home for herself. He could only imagine what kind of life Mara might have had if things were different, if Alderaan had never been destroyed and the princess had come to the throne. What would have happened when she eventually retired? She would be left with nothing. Bodhi couldn't even bring himself to think about that.
But it was different now. Mara had a chance at a new life, a different life, that was richer and brighter, where she could be loved and love in return. Bodhi wanted that for her, even if it wasn't with him. He couldn't even begin to describe the way he felt about her, Mara was the most incredible person he'd ever known, she was everything.
He admired her in so many ways, and he felt he could hardly comprehend her potential. There were all these things she could be if she could just trust someone enough to help her unlock it all. And if he could be that person, the one she trusted, the one she could rely on, the one who supported her in any way he could, Bodhi knew he'd be the happiest man alive. He wanted to be that safe person in Mara's life more than he'd ever wanted anything, more than returning home, more than turning back the clock, more than flying.
"We're moving bases?" he asked. Mara seemed surprised that that would be his first response but she replied all the same.
"By the end of the week."
"'Spose I better pack, then."
Mara could have sworn her heart stopped, just for a moment. She stared at Bodhi, hardly allowing herself to believe what she'd heard. "What?"
"Hoth, you said?" Bodhi shrugged. "It's a bit cold but I think I can manage."
"Bodhi, you can't."
"I'm a Rebel now, aren't I? I should make myself useful."
"You don't like it here. You shouldn't stay just because I..."
"Mara-"
"I just want you to be happy."
Bodhi stepped closer, his heart pulling him towards her. "My family's gone, Mar. My home too. But you..." He shook his head. "You're here, right now. And I've lost so much, I can't lose you too. I just can't."
Mara's mouth fell open like she wanted to say something but no sound would come out. When at last she was able to find the words, her voice was hushed, hardly more than a whisper, and so full of astonishment that it broke Bodhi's heart.
"You want to come with me?" All her life she'd been told that she wasn't enough, that she had to work harder, do better, that she could never and would never be anything to anyone - but Bodhi wanted her, Bodhi needed her, Bodhi cared about her.
Despite all they'd been through, all that they'd said to each other, there was a part of her that still couldn't understand why Bodhi cared. She hadn't done anything to deserve him, and yet he was willing to stay in a place that didn't entirely welcome him and fight for a cause that had brought him nothing but grief and pain, for her. Mara couldn't believe Bodhi thought she was worth it.
She didn't say any of this, as usual, she didn't have to. Bodhi knew what a storm tasted like. Jedha was known for them. Even before the Stormtroopers wormed their way in, conflicts rattled the skies. He remembered them well, the way the whole world seemed to turn purple as a bruise, and yet he'd never seen the like of the storm in Mara's eyes.
He took her hand, squeezing gently, letting his thumb slowly smooth across the skin at her wrist. "Where you go, I go," he said, smiling. "Alright?"
For a moment, Mara had a vision of a broken woman standing up to her ankles in hot, black sand. Sweat coated her skin, her ribs broken, her head swimming. She was standing before a man, just as battered and bruised. He was terrified but brave, holding out his hand to her, an agreement, an expression of friendship, the first touch of many.
She looked down at their hands, then back up at Bodhi, lovely, smiling, happy Bodhi. Her heart softened, her mind made up. "Alright," Mara whispered, and she didn't think it would be possible, but Bodhi's smile grew.
The spell was broken by a rowdy group of Rebels making their way into the entrance hall. Mara almost let go of his hand, her instincts kicking in, but she stopped herself just in time. It was too busy here, they needed somewhere more peaceful so that they could talk properly. Mara smiled and squeezed Bodhi's hand. "Come with me."
Bodhi followed Mara through the base, trying to guess where she could possibly be leading him. He wouldn't have thought she'd had time to learn the layout of this twisting, maze-like ruin, but she walked without hesitation. To his surprise, they ended up in the hangar. It was completely deserted, everyone was still celebrating after the ceremony. They were alone.
Mara let go of his hand, gesturing for him to keep following her as they moved deeper into the hangar. They passed a few of the X-Wings that flew in The Battle of Yavin. Bodhi would've liked to stop and admire them but Mara led him right past them. She smiled, turning to face him so that she was walking backwards. Bodhi didn't think he'd ever seen her look so excited.
"You know, it's Alderaanian tradition to give back to people we're indebted to."
Bodhi shook his head. "Mara, you're not-"
Mara's smile turned sad for a moment. "C'mon, flyboy, I am."
Bodhi wanted to argue but she stopped walking at last. He was so focused on her, he didn't think to look around them.
"If someone does you a small favour, you give them a few credits," Mara explained. "But if you're truly grateful, you're supposed to give them something more meaningful and it's traditional that you make it yourself."
Bodhi began to smile. "Mara, did you make me something?"
She snorted, shaking her head, then raised her chin, looking at something over his shoulder. Bodhi turned, following her gaze. He was surprised to find they'd stopped beside Sotoo, their little cargo shuttle. It looked so small and dishevelled beside the other heroic ships in the hangar but seeing it warmed his heart, like seeing an old friend.
"They said I could have it," said Mara. "It's too old to be of any use to the Rebellion so they just gave it to me."
Bodhi turned back to face her, bewildered, and saw that she looked a little nervous.
Mara pulled the holopad from her pocket, the license information for the shuttle, and gently pushed it into his hand. "I know it's a pile of bolts but I thought you could fix it. You have your own ship."
Bodhi stared at her, then down at the holopad in his hand. He was so surprised, all he could think to say was, "Mara..."
"And I asked Leia," she pressed on, her excitement making her words come out in a nervous rush. "She's going to make sure they'll allow you to fly." Mara grinned, pulling his goggles from behind her back and slipping them onto her head. "You'll have to do the tests first but you'll ace that."
Bodhi didn't move, or rather, he felt as if he couldn't, so he simply stared at her.
When he didn't say anything, Mara began to feel nervous. She thought it would be a nice idea, she was rather proud of herself for thinking of it, but maybe she was wrong. Mara still had trouble with feelings, and the look on Bodhi's face almost made her doubt herself, but then he closed the distance between them, pulling her tight against his chest.
Mara let out a soft gasp, his quick movements after being so still taking her by surprise. He held her so tight, sliding both his hands down from her shoulders to her waist, stopping at her lower back. She could feel his heart beating against her chest.
"Thank you," Bodhi murmured against her neck, sending shivers over her skin. He turned his head and pressed a kiss to her temple. "Mara, thank you, this is..."
Mara pulled away just enough so that she was able to meet his gaze. The warmth of him, his smell, the sound of his voice, it was completely overwhelming, filling up her senses. She didn't think she could ever get tired of it. His arms were still around her middle and Mara was suddenly very aware that just a few minutes ago, she'd been about to kiss him. Her chest seemed to ache, that feeling she always got around Bodhi, that feeling she finally had a name for.
"I needed a pilot and despite everything, you helped me. I can't..." Mara pressed her lips together, then took in a deep breath. No more tears, this is a happy day. Mara smiled, her hands resting on his back pulling him that little bit closer, her fingertips pressing into him. "I know we never made it to Alderaan, but you still got me home. Thank you, Bodhi."
The way she said his name, the way she'd always said it. Most people enunciated the two sharp consonants but not Mara. She spoke it so softly, almost breathlessly, and it seemed to reach further than its two short syllables allowed. Bodhi didn't know what to say, but he and Mara had always been able to communicate without words, and he knew she understood.
She pulled off his goggles and held them out to him. Bodhi put them on, already feeling more like his old self, then grinned and took her hand, leading her up Sotoo's ramp. As they stepped inside, he left Mara in the cargo hold so that he could duck into the cockpit and turn on the engines. Immediately, the ship spluttered into life. Their brave little shuttle still had some life left in it.
Bodhi turned off the engines again but left the lights on so that they could see. He moved back into the hold to find Mara holding one of their abandoned blankets. She didn't look up as the door slid open but when he came closer, she smiled and carefully folded the blanket, leaving it on the metal bench. Neither of them spoke for a moment, just absorbing the silence. After the battle and seemingly endless parties, it was refreshing to have a little peace and quiet. It was just the two of them again, back in their ship for the first time in what felt like years.
Mara stared at the doorway. She remembered the first time she stood there, narrowing her eyes against the dark, barking orders at a pilot who looked so terrified, she almost felt sorry for him. That all felt like a lifetime ago now.
"It feels funny, dunnit?" Bodhi said softly, earning her attention again. "It being so quiet."
Mara gave him a wry smile. "I can bang some pots and pans about, if you like? Make you feel more at home?"
"You are my home."
His words made her smile falter, her heart suddenly in her throat. The way he looked at her, so earnest and soft, it was enough to make her knees weak. Mara didn't understand a lot about the way she felt but she knew with absolute certainty that she would never get tired of looking at Bodhi Rook.
"It's funny," she said, turning away for a moment when she lost her nerve. "I used to have such a clear idea of what I wanted and where I was going but now I'm..." Mara looked back at him, searching his face for the comfort he always gave her. "What do you want?"
Bodhi had been waiting his whole life for that question, and now he found the answer sat on the tip of his tongue, falling from his lips without a need for second thoughts. "You," he said. His voice was quiet but he'd never been so sure about anything. "Just you."
His words made her heart stumble. Bodhi took a step and now he was so close that Mara could see that light in his eyes that let her know everything was going to be alright. He let out a short breath, the corners of his mouth turning upwards, as if he too was nervous and excited and uncertain. How sweet it was to know he felt exactly what she felt.
Mara held his gaze, her lips parted into a smile of her own, but then something changed and the light dimmed just a little. Her smile dropped then disappeared altogether. Before he could ask what was wrong, she ducked her head, her fingers knotting in front of her.
"I wasn't allowed to... Feel before. It wasn't..." Mara huffed, annoyed at herself for still not being able to articulate her own thoughts after all this time. "And so now I have all these feelings that I can't name and I don't always understand... But it's you." She shook her head with a smile. "Bodhi, it's all for you."
Bodhi's heart plummeted in his chest. He knew he was staring, he knew that he should probably think of something to say, but his mind was a complete blank. His heart was beating so hard, he thought for a moment he could hear its pounding rhythm echoing through Sotoo's empty hold. Mara smiled, and it took his breath away, then she spoke again, and Bodhi saw stars.
"I love you," Mara said. She knew there were probably a thousand other ways to say it, better, more poetic ways that could shake the stars, but this was just her and Bodhi, and it was more than enough for them. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner but I was afraid... Of what it meant. And that you wouldn't feel the same."
"You were afraid that..." Bodhi's heart was beating so hard now that it was almost painful. Mara loved him. Mara loved him. Mara loved him. He shook his head, awestruck, unable to string together a complete sentence. "How long have you..?"
"I don't know." Mara smiled shyly. "A while, I suppose. I don't..." She faltered as he took a step closer, her gaze drifting between his eyes, his mouth, his chest, his hands. Bodhi's gaze was soft as he moved closer, his body this far from hers now. His hands found her waist, one sliding round to the small of her back, pulling her closer with such care and gentleness that Mara found herself speechless yet again. "I've never…" She stumbled as he bent his head towards her. His hands were warm even through all her clothes. "I don't know how to…"
"To what?"
"To love. To be loved."
Bodhi smiled. "Let me show you," he murmured, letting his forehead bump gently against hers.
Mara's head was spinning. She reached out for something stable and strong to clutch onto and found Bodhi. She wrapped her fingers around the edges of his jacket, unintentionally pulling him forward those last few inches, and now his chest brushed hers.
"Bodhi..." Her voice shuddered. She let go of him with one hand, her fingertips ever-so-slightly curling in the direction of her racing heart.
"I know," he whispered, so close now that his breath brushed her lips. "Me too." He saw her smile, heard the beginnings of a relieved laugh, before he closed his eyes and pressed his lips to hers.
Mara could remember the first time she held Leia in her arms, just a tiny baby from far across the stars; she could remember the day she finally came top of her training class and the proud look on her mother's face; she remembered the night she discovered the tiny, luminescent fish that swam in the lagoons, and the first time her hair was long enough to plait and style like the Queen's. These were all some of the happiest moments of her otherwise lonely life, but nothing, not one line of it, compared to kissing Bodhi.
Their mouths were barely touching, his lips just grazing hers, but it was enough to set Mara's heart racing. Then his hand on her back pressed in, pulling her tighter against him, and Mara's breath caught in her throat, her lips parting, allowing him to deepen the kiss. As his mouth moved against hers, slowly, tentatively, but so, so, lovingly, Mara found herself forgetting every worry that curled around her heart and every doubt she'd ever had about herself. All that mattered was Bodhi, just her and Bodhi, everything else was meaningless.
She was disappointed when he eventually pulled away but he didn't go far. Mara could feel the tip of his nose brush past her cheek, then his forehead was pressed against hers. He was warm, inviting. She didn't want to let go. Mara was so stunned, she couldn't even bring herself to open her eyes for several moments, and when she finally managed to speak, her voice was small and breathless. "So you..?"
Bodhi smiled. "Yes."
They were so close that they were murmuring into each other's mouths.
"I didn't think..." Mara's fingers tightened around the edges of his jacket. "I mean, I wasn't sure..."
"Are you kidding?" Bodhi beamed at her. "I took you halfway across the galaxy, got arrested, chased, shot at, captured by bounty hunters…" As he spoke, he pressed a kiss to her forehead, her temple, both cheeks, and the tip of her nose, her face all scrunched up with laughter, before finally, he pressed another sweet kiss to her lips. "Do you think I would have done all that if I didn't care about you?" When Mara didn't say anything, he slipped his hand underneath her chin, carefully tilting her head up so that she met his gaze. "I'm so in love with you." Bodhi smiled, suddenly feeling ten feet tall. "You're everything, Mara."
She wondered if he knew, or if Bodhi really was just that perfect. She wondered if he knew just how long she'd yearned to be enough, to be worthy, to be wanted. Mara wondered, not for the first time, what she'd done to deserve Bodhi Rook. She was loved. He loved her. Bodhi loved her.
Her heart in her throat, Mara bravely pulled him closer by his jacket. She closed her eyes and pressed a soft, uncertain kiss to his lips, then another at the corner of his mouth. "Is this alright?" she asked, painfully aware of how inexperienced she was. Mara had always excelled in everything she did, she liked being the best, the thought of being bad at something made her stupidly anxious.
She moved closer still, and now Bodhi could feel every curve of her body against his. He felt a shiver run over his skin. He was initially embarrassed, worried that she would notice, but then he realised that Mara was the cause, the reason for it all, and he wanted her to know just how much he cared about her, and just what kind of effect she had on him. "Please don't stop," he whispered, moving back just far enough to meet her gaze.
There was a pause, just a moment, wherein all they could do was look at each other, then Mara's hands slipped from the edges of his jacket to flatten against his chest, and Bodhi pulled her tight against him. He swiftly pressed his lips against hers, much harder and more desperate than before, pulling at her bottom lip with his teeth, earning himself a groan.
With a delighted laugh, Mara slipped her hand up to his shoulder, then into his hair, pulling softly. She felt Bodhi practically melt against her, and suddenly she realised that she was kissing someone, kissing Bodhi, and he was kissing her back, and she loved him and they were safe and everything was alright for the first time in her life.
Bodhi carefully slid his tongue across Mara's bottom lip, curious to see what her reaction would be. He knew she'd never done this with anyone before and he didn't want to scare her off, but to his surprise, Mara moaned and returned the gesture.
She could feel his heart thudding beneath her palm as she smoothed one hand up his chest. Was he nervous? Excited? Or perhaps just as ridiculously happy as she was.
"Mara..."
His voice was so soft, almost like he was praying. She'd never heard anything like it, never known anything like this. He spoke her name pleadingly, quietly, moaning it into her own mouth, and there with him in the Yavin 4 base, inside their little shuttle, Mara knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Bodhi loved her. He kissed her so desperately that her whole body curved into his. His hands were everywhere, excited and eager, on her back, pressing under the hem of her uniform, drawing gentle circles against the small strip of bare skin he uncovered, making her break the kiss with a gasp.
Bodhi took the opportunity and just tried to catch his breath for a moment, his forehead pressed against hers. Mara. Mara. Mara. Mara. The most beautiful, incredible thing in the whole galaxy. And she loved him. He pulled in a shaky breath, trying to settle his nerves, but it had little effect. Instead, he laughed, breathless and hopelessly happy.
"Much as I'd like to stay in here doing this forever," he murmured, his fingertips pressing into her hips just to hear her gasp again. "I told Deffan we'd meet him and the others for the celebration."
Mara grinned, so happy she didn't even mind that she was going to have to be very sociable with a lot of people. "Duty calls, eh?"
Bodhi slowly, reluctantly let her go, happily surprised when she didn't move back, but stayed close to him. This was not an age-old story. He had not fallen in love with her at first sight, Mara had not been waiting her whole life for him, but they laughed, they protected each other, they couldn't be happy without each other, and he thought that was so much better.
"Shall we go see our friends?" Bodhi asked, nodding towards the door. Mara's smile faded, and for a moment, he worried that something was wrong. But then she began to smile, a small, hopeful, stunned sort of smile.
"Our friends," Mara repeated. A few weeks ago, she had no one. Now she had a whole group of good, kind people around her, Rebels, people who cared about her.
Strange as it was, she found she was almost glad of what happened to her, she was relieved that things had changed, that she was here, now. Her last months on Alderaan had passed like a dream. She would get up, go to work, and then find herself back in her room as if the whole day had passed and she hadn't even noticed. It was like that every day, and much as it pained her to realise, Mara knew she wasn't really living. Bodhi had shown her that there was more to life, more to her life. She would never stop being grateful.
He took her hand, natural and easy as anything, and together, Mara and Bodhi left their ship.