During the three glorious hours I managed to sleep, I had a dream about how Naruto and I first met. It had been at a late night ramen booth, of all things. I couldn't sleep and he had woken up from a nightmare hungry, and happened to be at the same ramen booth. He had recognized me from class that day, and plopped down right next to me and started talking.
"Hey, I know you! You're from my class! You have some weird name, like…"
"It's Inoko," I said, kind of annoyed that he didn't remember my name despite being in the same class for a couple years, but not surprised.
"Right, that's it! You like ramen too?"
"... Naruto, it's two in the morning. Why are you getting ramen?"
"Because it's delicious at any time of day. Why are you getting ramen?" he responded petulantly. I blinked.
"Because I don't sleep until really late, and I get hungry," I said slowly.
"Oh. Makes sense to me!" Naruto beamed at me. "What's your favorite ramen?" And so he went on, following me home to make sure I was ok. By that time, I knew that I wasn't going to be able to harden my heart to him and his infectious grin. I resigned myself then to the events I just knew I was going to have to go through with him.
And that's about when we jumped off the stools, turned the corner, and dived into the space ocean with zombies shambling after us and a vampire ocean warlord offering us protection in exchange for protection against the ramen nation, so it probably wasn't the most faithful to life dream. Anyway.
Despite tossing and turning for another hour after Ino arrived home, I could not go back to sleep. I wasn't in the mood for reading my usual books or training either. Just tired and a bit more irritable than usual, especially since my pseudo plan of just sleeping through tonight's events kind of failed.
I groaned, throwing my covers off and rolling over.
"I hate getting up," I muttered as I squinted against the light. "If I could sleep forever, I would be happy."
"You know, I would suggest that you and Shikamaru get married," Ino said dryly as I trudged down the stairs, "but I would be terrified at how lazy your child would be."
"Meh," I shrugged in response. "Don't tempt me." She stared at me for a second, trying to tell if I was being serious. "What's for dinner?" I asked as I shuffled into the kitchen.
After I finished eating, I joined the rest of my family in the living room. Resting my head on Ino's shoulder, I cracked open a book I had been meaning to finish for a while. Sakura had loaned it to me, gushing that it was one of the greatest books she had ever read.
It was a bit mushy for my taste, but not horrible. It didn't make me want to stab my eyeballs out like the last book she gave me, so that was a plus. Just the kind of mindless entertainment I liked.
I was finishing the last chapter by the time everyone else went to bed. "I would love to stay up late with you," Ino yawned, "but I have an early shift at the flower shop in the morning, so I need to go to bed."
"Ok, have fun," I replied, giving her a smile. I was still nowhere near sleepy. Tired? Yes. Utterly exhausted? Yes. Sleepy? Psh, naw fam, that would require my body to actually like me for once.
I ended up studying some old psychological files that Dad had given me a while back. My hobby, as strange as it was to some people, was to create psych profiles of certain people I interacted with. I had gotten quite good at it. It was both a useful tool and a way to actually use all the knowledge I had gathered in college a lifetime ago.
I wasn't sure how long I had been up until I heard the sharp alert of a siren. Annnd that would be Naruto stealing the Forbidden Scroll. I knew the drill after a few times. Sure enough, I could hear Dad stirring upstairs. He was pulling on his jacket as he came downstairs.
"Don't stay up too late, kiddo," he said as he walked out. Well, now I kind of wanted to stay up all night. But that was irresponsible, and I was a mature adult who could take care of herself.
… Ok, maybe not. But my point stands.
It felt like forever before Dad came home, tired, but relieved. I felt tension I didn't know was in me bleed out. Naruto is ok. He wouldn't be that relaxed if he wasn't. I wished that I could ask, but that would lead to all sorts of uncomfortable questions with answers I wasn't ready to give. And a trip to T&I. Which would not be fun for a variety of reasons.
I followed Dad on the way upstairs, quietly pestering him for information. Thankfully, that wasn't very odd for me.
"Can't say," he sighed as he reached the landing. "Top secret, you know." He smiled and tweaked my nose. I scrunched up my face in annoyance. "Goodnight, Inoko."
Stupid secretive parents. I'll get the information out of Naruto in the morning.
"Inoko-chaaaan!" I heard just before being tackled from behind. I was able to make a screeching sound of alarm before I hit the ground.
"What have I said about tackling me from behind," I asked, my voice muffled by the ground.
"Right! Sorry about that!" Naruto helped me to my feet and sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "I was just so excited! I have something really cool to show you! Kage Bunshin!" I blinked as an identical clone appeared. "Cool, huh?" they chorused together. I stared for a few seconds, then turned and kept walking. Not today, Plot.
"It's too early for this," I muttered. "Naruto, we're getting coffee. My treat." He whooped and hoisted me over his shoulder. "Naruto!" I screeched. "Put me down! This is why I never get you anything but decaf!"
Another major reason I refused to get him anything aside from decaf, I thought as I watched him, was the fact that he more than made up for it with the amount of cream and sugar he put in it.
"You have a problem," I decided, nursing the hot mug. Nasty, foul liquid, but it did the job of artificially keeping me awake and aware, more than tea did.
"Says you," he stuck out his tongue. He took another big gulp and I gagged. Absolutely disgusting.
"By the way, Naruto," I said once I got over my temporary nausea. Now was better than ever to ask him what happened. "How did your test go yesterday?" A gloomy look passed over his face. I felt kind of bad about asking.
"Weeeelll," he said, dragging it out. "I failed." I pretended to be surprised and widened my eyes.
"That sucks." I said, taking a sip of my coffee. Nasty, foul liquid. "But…?"
"But!" Naruto shouted, hitting the table and making me jump. "Iruka-sensei promoted me after I kicked Mizuki-sensei's butt!"
"... I'm going to need some context." Naruto went off on a tirade that I absently listened to for the next hour. He left out certain parts - those being top secret jinchuuriki stuff - and instead told me the rest. 'The rest' being how Mizuki was a dangerous sociopath who tried to murder an Academy student and teacher for personal gain. "Wow," I finally said. "That sounded pretty dangerous."
"Oh it was!" he grinned, not losing the chance to brag. "I was totally awesome, way more awesome than Sasuke could have been."
I snorted. "Sasuke wouldn't have stolen the scroll in the first place," I replied dryly. He growled under his breath and then ran ahead of me. He was walking backwards, maintaining eye contact as I wandered around the market looking for fruit.
"That's because he's a stuck up little -"
"How much for the peaches?" I asked the vendor.
"Are you even listening?!"
"I've heard enough of you guys' rivalry to know what you're going to say." I finished paying for my peaches and gave him an amused glance. "'Oh look at me I'm way cooler than Sasuke' and 'hn' and 'Gasp! What did you say, dattebayo!'"
Naruto pouted at me. "Oh, come on!" I rolled my eyes and gestured for him to follow me.
"Come on, we've got our final class for team assignments."
"I totally forgot!" Naruto gasped, then he was gone, jumping over rooftops in the rough direction of his house. I stared after him.
"Universe, if I'm put on his team, I will track down your physical form, and repeatedly punch it in the face." That being said, I shouldered my bag of sweet, tasty fruit and began my walk to the Academy. Peach juice dripped down my chin as I bit into one, hoping to erase the taste of coffee. It sort of worked.
I ran into Sakura and Ino speedily rage walking their way to the Academy. Sparks were almost literally shooting between their eyes. I watched them for a couple seconds before announcing my presence.
"Why are you guys walking like that…?" I asked. I tossed the core of the peach into the grass.
"Oh, hi!" Sakura said cheerfully, pausing long enough to hug me. "What's in the bag?"
"Peaches," I said. I lifted it a little in their direction. "You guys want one?"
"Yummy!" Sakura said as Ino frowned and said, "I thought you didn't like peaches."
"Apricots," I corrected. Sakura sighed in delight as she took a bite. "Those are gross. These are good. Shall we continue?"
When they had their fight - over Sasuke, because why not - I had refused to take sides and did my best to remain friends with Sakura as well. It had worked out pretty well, all things considered. Unfortunately, any cordiality vanished the moment a chance to win Sasuke's love appeared. I wasn't quite heartless enough to tell them that he didn't and would likely never care for them that way.
I had, however, never been more relieved to see the Academy gates.
"Morning, Iruka-sensei," I yawned. "Please save me. Would you like a peach?"
"Good morning," he said, and touched the top of my head. Ino and Sakura were somehow wordlessly bickering. Honestly, their rivalry sometimes amazed me even more than Naruto and Sasuke's. Girls were scary. "Thank you, but no. Go on inside, and please, sit next to Sasuke so the others will pay attention."
I made a face, but nodded. Everyone was clearly excited, and talking loudly. Naruto - how on earth did he get here before me? - was staring at the door with a hopeful expression on his face. Crap. I really needed to get Sakura to talk to him soon. This was honestly just embarrassing for everyone involved. All of this way. Ugh. Prepubescent hormones were the absolute worst.
"Yo," I said, waving at him. "How did you get here so fast?"
"I'll never tell!" he said cheerfully. Real talk, that only made me more curious. But hey, I had my own secrets, and if he wanted to keep his…
"Fine by me. Peach?" I sat next to Sasuke while the others were arguing on who was going to sit next to him. He barely gave me a look.
"No way, those are gross. Apricots are way be- Hey!" I glanced up at Naruto, confused. He seemed absolutely horrified. "You… you've fallen for his spell too? We were so close! Just one more day!"
"... What are you talking about?" I was so too tired to be dealing with this.
"Why else would you sit next to a loser like him?" Oh. Yeah, that made sense. Gross. He was like. Eight years younger than me, mentally. That was practically robbing the cradle.
"... Because Sensei asked me to? So that other girls will actually focus on what he's saying?"
"Oh. Ok." Naruto sat on my other side, still glaring at Sasuke. He was so cute, acting like him sitting there would make me immune to Sasuke's emo charms. A valiant effort on his part. Shame I was already immune.
"Are you guys excited about graduating?" I asked after a few moments of silence. I wish I had brought something to read, if only to be able to ignore the terse silence between them.
"Of course!" Naruto shouted. "I gotta graduate before I become Hokage, dattebayo!" Sasuke was characteristically silent, so I elbowed him.
"What was that for?" he asked, annoyed.
"It's generally polite to respond when someone asks you a question," I deadpanned. He scoffed softly.
"I don't really care. It's just a stepping stone to my goal." I wonder if I should tell him that he's not as cool and edgy as he thinks he's being. Eh. Probably not.
"Hey, sis," Ino said sweetly, Sakura looking very annoyed behind her. "Can we switch seats?"
"No," I said, and placed my head on the desk. I was so tired right now. I really didn't want to do taijutsu today.
"Please? I'll buy you sushi." Oh, how tempting that was. Sushi….
"No."
"I'll get you that Golden Phoenix roll you like." My mouth began watering. "Cucumber instead of avocado~"
I was actively drooling at this point, but Sensei had given me a mission. Shinobi did not give in to bribery, as tempting as it was. "I said no. I'm on a diet."
"A diet? You? Since when?"
"Since about ten seconds ago. Leave me alone."
"Meanie," she sighed, and walked away. I could almost feel Sasuke's relief. And then Naruto decided to stand on the desk and stare at Sasuke's face. Definitely not putting any food there now or anytime in the near future, gross.
"What do girls like about you so much?" he demanded. "You're not that cool." Wait for it…
"Naruto!" Sakura shouted. "Stop glaring at Sasuke-kun!" Many other girls joined in. Ino seemed a bit torn between telling Sasuke to hit Naruto and not wanting to invoke my glare. I was very protective of my friends, Naruto included. The look insomnia gave me combined with a glare that I perfected in my previous life was useful for scaring people into obeying me, meaning that Sakura had generally stopped hitting Naruto a while back. This did nothing for discouraging Naruto's affections, awkwardly delivered as only twelve year old boys could manage.
One of the other kids - Tetsu, I think his name was - laughed with one of his friends. "Oh man, I can't believe you did that!" He threw his arms behind his head and knocked Naruto forward. There it is.
I watched impassively as Sakura, Ino, and several others stared in horror. The looks on their faces were almost as good as Naruto and Sasuke's. They pulled apart, gagging and spitting. Naruto sounded like he was dying.
"You jerk!" Naruto shouted. "I can't believe you stole my first kiss! Wait. I feel some kind of immense rage..."
"Naruto~" Sakura said with sweet venom in her voice. She cracked her knuckles as everyone glared at him. "You are so dead."
"S-Sakura-chan," he chuckled nervously. "It was an accident, dattebayo."
"Sure it was," Fumi growled. They all faltered as I began to grin.
"He said it was an accident," I said, smiling sweetly, but eyes promising death. Shikamaru affectionately called it my 'soul eating glare'. "I don't know about you, but I believe him. So. Back off, ladies. Besides, it's not like he slipped him any tongue." Naruto and Sasuke began gagging even more. One of the girls practically fainted at the thought.
There was a reason why most of the people in my class both disliked and feared me.
"I could have handled them," Naruto said as they filtered away.
"We both know that you wouldn't have touched Sakura," I rolled my eyes. "Now pay attention to Sensei."
I was fairly sure Sasuke muttered something along the lines of, "Like you have room to talk", but I let it slide. Today was team assignments. After today, it most likely wasn't my main problem.
I could hear Sakura and Ino debating who was going to be on Sasuke's team. It was really annoying, because while Sakura was one of my best friends, her voice drove me insane sometimes. "My money's on Sakura," I said, thinking of the image of Team Seven's picture. Ino made a sound that was somewhere between horror and insult.
"Why?" she hissed. I smiled.
"Because I can see the future," I deadpanned. She rolled her eyes. At least now she couldn't say I never tried to tell her if it ever came out.
Iruka-sensei started to lecture us on the duties and responsibilities of a shinobi. It was all stuff I had heard before, from either previous lectures or the elders, so I began to tune it out. It was only a few minutes long, though, and then he began to divide us into teams. I continued to ignore him until I heard a familiar name. "Team Three, Satou Tokaji, Ando Masahiko, and Haruno Sakura." Wut.
"Ha!" Ino said triumphantly. "Clearly, I will be on Sasuke-kun's team!" Nononono this isn't right. What did I do, what did I change? I was lost in my shock until Ino made a shocked screech.
"What did I miss?" I asked, confused at the glares I was getting from the girls.
"Team Seven," Iruka-sensei repeated. I felt a dawning sense of dread and horror. No. "Uzumaki Naruto." No. "Uchiha Sasuke." No! "Yamanaka Inoko." I stared at Sensei for several seconds, then stood.
"Sensei, please excuse me while I throw myself off the Hokage monument."
"Stop being dramatic and sit down," he said, rolling his eyes. I sat back down. Naruto was whimpering a little behind me.
"I'm cursed, I know it, 'ttebayo."
"Drama queen," Sasuke scoffed.
"Both of you shut up," I muttered, rubbing my forehead. Team Eight came out as expected - Shino, Kiba, and Hinata -, as did Team Ten, my sister's team.
"I'll trade you," Ino said with a note of desperation in her voice. "You like Shikamaru and Chōji more than you like Naruto and Sasuke." I let my head collapse onto the desk with a thud.
"If you can convince Sensei, then by all means," I sighed, but I was inwardly… actually sort of happy that I had been put here, now that I thought about it. I liked Naruto just fine, and Sasuke was ok when he wasn't being angsty. Plus a front row seat to changing everything. Including but not limited to: Sasuke. Sasuke. Akatsuki. Sasuke. End of the world. Oh, and Sasuke.
I stared blankly at the chalkboard. I feel like a lot of problems will be solved if I just make sure Sasuke doesn't make super stupid choices. Granted, given his ego, this won't be easy. Especially since Naruto is going to make it his life goal to basically aggravate him at all opportunities.
Ugh. The Plot was such a pain.