A/N:

I didn't follow this prompt exactly, but here's what I tried:

Minecraft Guardiansaiyan wrote on July 21st:

Telepathy is great and hopefully the main crew will be able to hear Sanji soon as well...Luffy might even ask him officially to be a crew member...

Sanji Kitetsu Chapter 4

Sanji's used to being cleaned. As despicable as his previous masters were, every one of them was diligent in taking care of his swords. So Sanji knows there are a couple things he can do while being cleaned besides staying perfectly still to make the swordsman's life easy.

For example, the first wipe-down is the perfect opportunity to give his new master the tiniest but most painful cut on the very tip of his finger, like... so.

The taste of fresh blood and a small pause in Zoro's movement are the only indications of his success, which is rather disappointing.

"I thought we're all good now. You even helped me cook." Zoro continues his cleaning routine with practiced ease.

Ha! As if we can ever be good again after you made me attack a damsel in distress! I only helped you cook because I didn't want your innocent crewmates to starve.

"Damsel in distress my ass. And you honestly think you'd pull that shit off if I was serious about cutting her down?"

Try me! Sanji says in defiance, and the swordsman snorts.

Hey, you should talk to Yuki. You're his first real master, so he might need a pep talk from you before he can be of any use in battles. Sanji hums, relaxing at the gentle taps of the powdered ball.

"Fair enough. I'll see what I can do. I'm cleaning her next."

HIM. I told you, Yuki is a boy.

"I thought all swords are female."

Now that's just rude. I'm obviously a gentleman myself.

"How can you tell? I mean it's not like you guys reproduce." Zoro turns him over in one hand to examine the blade.

It's not about sex, shitty moss. It's about our sense of self, our identity. Some of us have a consciousness from the time we were made. Others, he nods to the white sword, acquire it later from... certain experiences.

"Experiences?" the swordsman repeats, sounding confused. Sanji puzzles at Zoro's reaction. He's talked to the white sword in his spare time and has learned the gist of their time as childhood rivals and how she got trapped in the sword. Surely even his dimwit master must've realized who that voice belongs to after so many years of listening to it. Then again, if Zoro doesn't know, it's not Sanji's place to tell him.

The two of them remain silent as Zoro finishes cleaning and coats the blade in a thin layer of cool oil before sheathing him and placing him next to the other two swords. Sanji watches as Zoro's hand gently brushes the white sword and reaches for Yuki's black hilt. He unsheathes the black sword and lays the blade over his lap.

"Shhh... It's OK. We're just cleaning today." the swordsman whispers and wipes down the blade with care.

It was kind of you to look out for Yuki like that, Sanji. The white sword says.

C-could it be that you've fallen in love with me? Sanji twirls in his constricting sheath. Ah, love! It has finally come for him! But the white sword only giggles in reply.

Zoro doesn't show much of it, but he has a kind heart too. He never meant to use you to harm the marine girl. I'm sure of it.

You're giving that brute way too much credit! He doesn't even recognize this sweet angelic voice of yours after so many years! Ah, heartbreak! Why must it always follow so closely behind?

That's... not his fault. The white sword sighs.

Hey mossy, ask our sweet navigator if she needs a snack or a drink. She looks like she needs one. Sanji grunts at his half-asleep master at the dining table.

The whole crew is gathered here because of the raging storm outside. Zoro has his head resting on the table at the corner seat. Directly across from him is the beautiful navigator surrounded by stacks of maps that cover this half of the table. The other three members are in the middle of a rather intense game of cards on the other half of the table.

Huh? Why should I?

Becase that's what a gentleman does! In fact you should really ask Carmen-chan too, but you'd probably make it sound like you're insulting her skills as a cook instead, so don't bother.

Tch, you do it since you're such an expert at this 'gentleman' thing. Zoro pulls the cursed sword out of his haramaki and slams it onto the map-covered table top before lowering his head once more to sleep.

I WOULD if she could hear me, shithead! Hey shithead! I need a translator here! Hey! Sanji shouts in futile protest until he finds himself hovering in mid air before his sheathed blade whacks the back of swordsman's head.

"Do you know how close I was to calculating the location of the lighthouse?" Nami shrieks in frustration while repeatedly attacking Zoro's head with Sanji's sheath. "If you'd just give me 5 more minutes of peace! Just 5 more mi-..."

The navigator freezes mid-sentence, the cursed blade still dangling from her hand. She pulls Sanji closer to examine the gem on the hilt.

"Is that...?" She runs a soft finger over the blue gem. Sanji shivers in delight.

"Zoro, you got this sword for free because the store owner liked you, right? How about I give you the original price? How much did you say it was?... 50,000?" the navigator stands Sanji on the tip of his sheath to examine the hilt.

"Wait, what are you..." the swordsman peels his sleepy face off the table and nurses the back of his head.

"OK fine. How about 100,000?" Nami digs a nail along the side of the gem, trying to find a way to pry it off.

"I'm not-"

"Sigh... OK. How about 5% of the selling price I can get at the next island? It'd be more than anything you can get for it with your negotiation skills." Nami gestures to Usopp for his tool bag. The long nose complies and returns to his game of cards. Nami takes out a small knife and starts chipping at the golden swirls around the gem.

"I'm not selling my sword, witch!" Zoro yanks the sword out of her hand and shoots her a hard glare. Nami gasps in shock. The others put their card game on hold to watch the scene unfold.

You mannerless ape! How dare you call her such a foul name!

What, you'd rather have your hilt disfigured with a knife? Sanji would rather not, but that's not the point here! Nobody calls a lady names on his watch!

"Then why were you giving it to me?" Nami crosses her arms, her anger overtaking the shock.

"I wasn't. HE wanted to talk to you. I figured he'd give up if he had a try." Zoro waves Sanji in the air before sliding him back into his place in the haramaki.

"He? You assign genders to your swords?" Carmen fans herself with her cards.

"He can talk? Can I try? Hi, I'm Luffy! Nice to meet you!" Luffy leans to Zoro's side to greet the sword.

"Uhm... guys, this is very interesting and all, but weren't we supposed to be getting closer to the entrance of Grand-Line by riding the storm?" Usopp points at one of the windows. "The storm is gone. Does that mean we're here?" The crew turns to Nami, whose face is now paper white.

"Oh no, we've entered calm belt..."