"Long time no see," Shikamaru said as he sat down next to me. I didn't open my eyes, bare feet dangling in the creek as the sun shone down through the canopy. I was warm and happy with life. I was almost ready to fall asleep.
"Hm." I didn't want to deal with people right now, hence why I was chilling out in one of my favorite super secluded spots. Just… basking in nature. Unfortunately, having friends meant that they generally knew where these spots were.
"If I didn't know better I'd say you've been avoiding me." He didn't sound annoyed, just vaguely accusatory. I opened an eye.
"I don't avoid my friends, Shika. I've been busy."
He tsked and laid down, grass rustling. For several long seconds, all I could hear was the creek babbling and a bird chirping incessantly.
Usually I could wait Shika out when it came to things like this. This time, I did feel kind of guilty. "Ok, that was a lie; I have been avoiding you," I admitted.
"Figured. Ino says you've been holed up in your room since you got back. 'Only leaving for food and the bathroom', to use her words." Rude.
"Traitor. I've just… not wanted to interact with anyone lately."
This was only a partial truth. I had been holed up in my room writing. Wave had been close. Too close. I had slept hard for a good fifteen hours before I had one of the worst nightmares yet. Waking up in a cold sweat, I ended up settling at my desk to scribble out every single thing I remembered about the Plot in romaji for the next twenty hours. If I did end up dying, I needed some sort of backup. Something that would be found and used.
I had written out a cipher with a coded hint at the bottom and a note of apology to my family before sealing them in a box and turning it in as my last will and testament. It had been accepted without a hitch, not that it had any reason not to.
In a way, I had a strong sense of peace about the whole thing now. If I died, the cipher would go straight to Shikaku along with instructions on how to find the five notebooks crammed with my 'coded' writing. Just a couple hours ago I had buried the box containing them in the Nara forest with an earth jutsu. Considering that it was now ten meters under, I was fairly confident that no one would accidentally stumble upon them. Now, I was just… existing under the trees.
"How have you been?" Shikamaru asked, breaking me from my thoughts.
"Tired. I have a lot of sleep to catch up on. You?"
He sighed heavily. "Mom's troublesome as usual. Your sister's troublesome as usual. Everything's the same as usual."
"That sounds nice," I said wistfully. If only things would stay that way. "I don't think I'm going on another mission like that any time soon, so I have plenty of time to get used to it."
"Hn. Team giving you any trouble?"
"Nothing I can't handle," I replied, giving a one shouldered shrug. "I'm actually due for a bit of training later at three."
"... Inoko, it's three twenty."
"Hm, problem. You think I could get away with skipping?"
"You should probably go," Shikamaru said lazily. "Naruto will only be more troublesome."
"Such a drag."
"You're late!" Naruto shouted as I strolled into the clearing. Sasuke noticeably relaxed as he stopped pacing. Sensei, of course, barely glanced up from his book. Wow, he's actually on time for once? Hokage must have really read him the riot act.
"Sorry I'm late, I had to help an old lady out of a tree, then I had to help a black cat carry her groceries home," I explained.
Actually, I could see why Sensei did this all the time. This was fun.
"That's… really not how that works," Sensei said with a note of pain in his voice.
"Sure it is," I grinned. "So what are we up to today?"
"Kakashi-sensei taught us a really cool taijutsu move!" Naruto blurted before anyone else could say anything. "If someone's punching at you, you just grab their arm and go whazaam! Like that! And then you do this!"
He mimed what I believed was some sort of arm bar and flip, but it was hard to tell with only one person actually doing the move.
"I'm afraid that Inoko will have to refrain from learning that for now," Sensei interjected, snapping his book shut. "You boys continue to practice the grab. I'll work with Inoko on tree walking."
Oh. Yeah, that. Kind of an important thing to learn.
"I'm pretty sure I understand the theory," I said, following Sensei to the closest tree. "I read about it in one of my chakra theory books."
"Theory is different from application, Inoko," Sensei reminded me. He stopped in front of the tree and gestured to his feet. "Focus your chakra in the soles of your feet, then try taking a step."
I blew air into my bangs. "Sounds fun."
I closed my eyes and focused my chakra in my belly before letting it fall down to my feet. It was going to take a good bit of chakra, I knew that much. Once my feet were humming pleasantly with chakra, I lifted my foot and stuck it on the tree.
And proceeded to promptly blow myself a few meters back.
"Ow," I said after a moment. It was slightly muffled by the grass I had in my mouth. "I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say I used too much."
"Hm." He went back to reading his book. Wow, super helpful, Sensei.
I stood in front of the tree and rested my hand on it, closing my eyes. Theoretically, I was supposed to stick to the bark. Suction, then? Or maybe stickiness. Could one even create suction with chakra? Maybe a combo of both, like a tree frog?
I pulled the chakra from my gut to my hand, tension bleeding out of my shoulders as I felt the warmth creep down my arm. As the chakra came into contact with the tree, I shivered. It slowly bled from my hand into the grooves of the bark.
It wasn't suction or stickiness. It was… using the chakra to join with the tree. It was attaching yourself like a limpet.
"You're not doing anything." Sensei lightly bopped me on the head with his book.
"Just thinking, Sensei."
He hesitated for a moment before retreating again. I opened an eye to look at him, but couldn't read the sliver of his visible face. Hm.
I lifted my foot and rested it on the tree again, focusing on drawing the chakra down and sticking to the tree. To my utter delight, it actually stuck. I lifted my other foot to join it, but proceeded to fall again, foot still stuck to the tree. My head throbbed painfully.
"And that's why we should take a running start until we have the needed inner core strength."
"Yup!"
I glared at him before releasing my foot's hold on the tree. Let's try this again.
I gave the tree a dark look as I lowered my body into a runner's stance. I was going to do this and catch up to the boys if it was the last thing I did. What kind of powerful shinobi would I be if I couldn't even walk on trees?
Launching myself forward, I pumped chakra down my legs to increase my velocity and prepare the chakra at my feet. The good news is that I made it about half way up. The bad news is that I lost control of my chakra and slipped off.
"Go die in a hole," I told the tree seriously once my head stopped spinning.
"It's already living in a hole," Sensei airily pointed out.
"Then it can die in a hole where it belongs."
"It will."
"Good." I lay on the ground for several seconds, debating on the worth of taking a nap right there. "Hecking crap."
"You have an odd way of swearing," Sensei observed.
"My parents were never big on my swearing like my inner sailor demands. Wonder why."
Sensei nudged me with his foot. I groaned and tried to ignore it, but the pokes became more insistent. He wasn't quite kicking me, but it wasn't painless either.
"Oww," I moaned. "Leave me alooone."
"You need to keep working on this, Inoko," he said lightly.
"And you need to… I don't know. Jōnin stuff."
"Like teaching you?"
Well crap. He's got me there.
"Go join the tree in the hole."
Inoichi blinked as he was roused from sleep. Darkness hung in the room like a thick blanket. He wasn't sure at first what had woken him, at least until he heard a clattering in the kitchen. Beside him, Noriko sighed.
"Is Inoko stress cooking again?" she asked sleepily.
"I'll take care of it," he whispered before yawning. It was half past three in the morning. The joys of caring for a troubled insomniac.
The smell hit him first as he made his way down the stairs. Inoichi paused on the stairwell, glancing under the ceiling to peek on his daughter.
Inoko had about three different recipes going on at once, apron hastily tied and hair tied into a bun with a chopstick. He mentally winced. If the hair was up, then this was serious.
"Puttering in the kitchen again, moonflower?" Inoichi asked as he went the rest of the way down.
"I do not 'putter'," Inoko snapped, fiercely dicing a carrot. "I couldn't sleep, so I figured I'd be productive with my time and make something."
He settled down at the table and waited. Inoko was at a point he had been waiting for. She had been twitchy and antisocial since she came back from her C-rank. Even after returning home, she remained mostly sleepless with little appetite. Knowing her, she didn't want to bother him with her problems, so had kept them to herself.
Inoichi wasn't going to push. He'd wait until she was ready to talk, and then help her to the best of his ability.
"I'm sorry," she muttered. "I shouldn't have snapped like that."
"Probably not," he agreed. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"Maybe. I don't know."
He stifled a yawn as he retrieved some paperwork. He was going to wait until she was ready to talk, even if it took all night. He would be there for her.
When he returned to the kitchen, a brewing cup of tea was waiting for him. Even when she's clearly hurting, she tries to take care of people, he thought fondly.
After perhaps twenty minutes, when most of the food was sizzling on the stove, Inoko finally spoke.
"I had another nightmare. About Wave. About what might have happened."
Inoichi put down the report he was reading and locked eyes with the back of her head. Without turning, she continued.
"I… I knew it was a dream, but I couldn't wake up. I couldn't make it stop. I couldn't make him stop laughing." Inoko paused her stirring for a moment before taking a deep breath. She gripped the counter so tightly he could see her knuckles turn white. He didn't ask who 'him' was. "He's dead now. It doesn't matter."
"Does it?" he asked softly.
"I don't think so," she whispered. "I… I don't know w-why I did what I did then. It was stupid. It was so damn stupid!"
Inoko slammed the spatula down against the countertop, shuddering with emotion.
"I could have died. I should have died. But…"
"But what?" Inoko was in an incredibly fragile space right now. He couldn't push too hard, but if he didn't push at all she'd withdraw within herself again.
"Never mind, it's stupid."
She began to pare a chicken breast, muttering incomprehensibly to herself. Her right foot was tapping the ground impatiently as she took deep breaths.
"All information is valuable, moonflower," Inoichi reminded her. "What is it?"
Inoko slammed the knife onto the chopping board and took a deep breath. She spun around, distress in her eyes. "I think I wanted it."
He leaned back in his chair, surprised. At last, the root of the problem.
"I wanted to die," she repeated, swaying lightly. He doubted she even noticed it. "I think. But… I don't want it. I'm… I'm happy. I have a family that loves me as much as I love them. I have friends that care for me. I'm… reaching for my dreams. I shouldn't want it. I don't want it."
Tears began to fill her baby blue eyes and spill down her face as she spoke. The longer she spoke, the more incoherent she became, sobs racking her body. After she finished, she pressed her hand to her mouth and collapsed to the floor, crying uncontrollably.
Inoichi instantly stood and moved around the table to envelope her in his arms. There was something deeper behind all of this, something she wasn't telling him, but it would have to wait. My poor moonflower. My sweet Old Soul. I never should have let you go down this path.
"I don't want to go, Daddy," she sobbed into his chest. "I don't want to go."
"You don't have to, moonflower," Inoichi whispered, pulling her closer. "I won't let you go. I won't ever let you go."
Inoko kept crying. He made a brief shadow clone to turn off the stove and remove the pans while he focused on his hurting daughter.
His back was cramping by the time her tears ran out.
"I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Don't apologize for having emotions," he gently scolded. She needed to let this out. "Everyone has them, even if they've shoved them deep down."
"Emotions are stupid. I wish I didn't have any."
"No, you don't."
She gave a wet sounding scoff. "Yeah, you're right, I don't."
They both laughed softly. Inoko sniffed.
"I do hate crying though. My eyes burn and I'm congested for the next twelve hours."
Inoichi smoothed her hair down before resting his chin on her head. Gods above, he loved his girls to bits. He was content to just sit there on the kitchen floor until dawn holding his little girl.
"Dad?
"Yes, my moonflower?"
"Do you think that… there is a part of me that wants to… you know?"
Inoichi sighed. "You're too hard on yourself. And overthinking things again. Why would the id crave its own destruction? The first desire of any healthy mind is to stay alive, and you, sleepyhead, have a healthy mind. My dear, what mind would want to admit that it made a foolish decision?"
"I guess you're right," Inoko murmured. "You usually are."
"Considering that's my job." Inoko laughed and relaxed against him. "Now, I have some extremely important questions."
She stiffened against him before reluctantly meeting his eyes. "Yeah?"
"Are we going to finish cooking all this, or should we just put it away? Because if your mother wakes up to find this kitchen trashed, we're all in trouble."
"Aw, crap. I guess we should probably finish here. The joys of leftovers! Wait a minute. I could -"
"No."
"You don't even know what I'm going to say!"
"Knowing you, moonflower, it's something bad."
Inoko huffed. "This is blatant discrimination."
"How many times did you nearly blow up your bedroom?"
"... that's not fair."
"Case in point."