Himiko shuffled in her school chair, her pen travelling over paper as she not-quite listened to her teacher's lecture.
The chair wasn't nearly as comfortable as it looked, at least, not after the sparkly sensation of being new wore off. It was stiff and hard, a blocky wooden seat, and the uniform was just as bad! The winter uniform was too tight, the black coat feeling like a straitjacket and the tie feeling like a noose. After so long of wearing her cardigan, or Izuku's tracksuit when she could get away with it, the stiff and scratchy button down was driving her nuts.
… If she stabbed someone, could she go home early?
She took a moment to consider it, before snickering and shaking her head. She still had to graduate and go to high school, and that wouldn't happen if she was kicked out. And besides, there was only one person she wanted to stab, and she wasn't seeing him until lunch.
Himiko sighed, the humorous grin still on her face as she settled her chin in her palm. Let's see, the teacher was talking about… body systems. Right.
Basic biology.
Easy enough.
A low groan escaped her lips, and she slouched forward, practically laying across her desk.
Yes, she knew what the circulatory system was! She had known what it was for years! And now, she was forced to sit at an uncomfortable desk, in an uncomfortable uniform, forced to listen to droning lectures she already understood for hours!
Would she be able to get away with reading under her desk? Probably not. Sleeping? She was at the front of the room, so almost definitely not. Drawing? Probably not any more than the doodles she was already tracing.
Himiko didn't even know why she had wanted to come back to school. Not to learn anything, that's for sure. Her classes were a breeze.
… Ok, that was a lie. Her Japanese grade could use some cleaning up, and so could her English. It didn't help that she was awful at studying, even with Izu-kun's help. She tried her hardest, but she just couldn't focus. Studying the weird mess that made up English just didn't interest her one bit, and Japanese literature from seven-hundred-whatever CE was just about as fascinating to her.
… Anyways, she was passing these classes with ease. Biology, physics, math, even her geography class was easy. Her tests never came back below a 98, and her work sheets were easy enough, even without the textbook. So she didn't know why on earth she had to sit through these pointless lectures!
She loved how normal school was, but it was just so boring.
The school bell rang through the air, a sharp and shrill sound, and Himiko sighed in relief, her forehead meeting her desk with a stiff thud. "Finallyyyy..."
Etsuko chuckled, closing her textbook and slipping it back into her desk. "Having a good time?"
Himiko twiddled with her pencil, pouting as she halfheartedly tried to balance it on her nose. "... No…"
"I was guessing not. You were twitching all class, looked like you were bored out of your mind." The amber-eyed girl rolled her shoulders, taking a moment to stand and stretch before sending a teasing glace her friend's way. "It was actually kinda fun to watch."
"It's just so boring!" Himiko's pencil clattered to the floor, the blonde throwing her arms up in defeat. If she had another three years of this in high school, she'd go insane! How on earth did Izu-kun do this, and then show up for practice, ready for more? No, how had she done this, even a year ago? She groaned, giving her muscles a moment to unwind. Her sunflower eyes followed the other students as they headed to lunch, and the girl scowled inquisitively. "... Do you think I could get away with skipping class?"
"This close to qualification exams?" Etsuko raised an eyebrow and laughed, giving Himiko a playful smirk. "Only if you like gambling! And besides, what're you gonna do anyways?"
"Hm…" Himiko put a finger on her chin, blinking lazily. What would she do? Something more interesting, at least. She'd probably end up in the library, or maybe the mall. Ah, no, not the mall. It's boring to go alone, so she'd want to take Izu-kun or Etsuko if she went. But then, an idea popped into her head, and she couldn't resist a snicker. "Find someone cute to munch on? It's been a while since I had a good makeover!"
"Oh, trying to impress a certain green-haired someone?" Etsuko gave a sly smile, a knowing light in her amber eyes. Holding a few fingers together in a 'v' shape, they melded and morphed, transforming into two simply doll-like figures kissing, one with a messy bush of seaweed green on its head, and the other with two big balls of blond.
"Maaaybe. Or maybe I could get a bite of him. I don't think he'll mind!" A large, hot blush spread across Himiko's cheeks, a bit of fire lingering beneath her cheeks as she cracked a big smile. She looked like a lovesick cherry wearing a blond wig, and she knew it. What she didn't know was whether the blush was from her friend's teasing, or from the very thought of Izu-kun.
… Would Izu-kun want her to look different? Something tugged at the back of her mind, small and quiet, but it dug in more the more she tried to ignore it. He had said he liked her the way she was, even the little oddities like her smile. He wasn't the type to lie; he couldn't even if he tried. But he was also the soft type that would never say something to hurt her, even if he thought it. So… he could just be not saying anything. She wouldn't be surprised, in some ways. He might like a totally different type of girl, but since he was so lonely, he was just, well… settling for her, simply put. It made the most sense. After all, no one else had accepted her before, and no one else had met her on the ledge of a fourteen story building. She wasn't his first choice, she was his only option. If there was any comfort in that, he wasn't going to abandon her.
Not until someone better showed up.
Despite her smile, there was a bitter taste in the back of her throat.
"Yeah, gotta make sure to get a taste! Take it for a spin before you buy it!" Etsuko laughed, letting her fingers twist back into their natural form. Then she paused for a moment, a curious light in her warm eyes as she fiddled with her long ponytail. "Actually, have you ever transformed into Midoriya before?"
"Huh? Oh, well..." Himiko shook herself out of her head, her eyes glancing back towards her friend. Focus! Everything's ok, Izu-kun would never abandon her. He had promised. He liked her how she was, and had said as much! So focus on here and now! She grinned, feeling just a bit of the tightness leave her chest. "Yeah, I have! And guess how he reacted!"
"Yeah?"
"He panicked!" The blond raised her hand to her mouth and laughed, her smile growing wider at the thought of fond memories. "He just looks up and, ta da! There's a second Izu-kun! It was sooo adorable, just watching his mind scramble!"
Her friend silently snickered, her head rocking back and forth. "I can definitely imagine him panicking! You're so cruel! Did you not explain your quirk to him before that?"
"Nope!" She gave a toothy smile, far too wide to be innocent. "But that just made his reaction even cuter."
Etsuko clicked her tongue, shaking her head in disbelief. "Man… You're awful. I'm just glad he's so understanding, cause I know for a fact I would've kicked you out then and there." She glanced over, and caught sight of the paper on Himiko's desk. "By the way, what's that you were drawing all class?"
"Hm? Oh, sure!" She plucked up her sheet of doodles, passing it over to her friend. Etsuko was right. That would've pushed some people over the edge, let alone the other things she'd done. So… she was lucky. Really lucky. And it made her smile, actually. Not only had he had opportunities to kick her out, but plenty of reasons too. And yet, he hadn't. She felt a small blush coming on, the soft and warm sort that felt like her heart was sighing. "Izu-kun wouldn't do that. He's my little wolf, after all!"
… There was no response.
Himiko glanced up, her eyebrows furrowed a bit. "Etsu-chan?"
The thin girl half-sat on her desk, a worried frown on her face as her eyes scanned over the sheet, any warmth replaced by cold concern. She lowered the sheet, holding it where they both could see.
"Himi-chan... What is this?"
"Hm?" Leaning forward, Himiko cocked her head. What had she drawn? She hadn't been paying attention. Actually, she hadn't really been paying attention to anything that class. But it couldn't have been-
Oh.
Oh no.
She recognized it the moment she saw it. And she wished she hadn't.
It was a drawing. Any more specific, and the connotations wouldn't be correct. As accurate as a scientific diagram, but with too much emotion. As heartfelt as renaissance painting, but too cold and detailed. It fell into a strange uncanny valley of art, not quite an expression of her soul, but also not quite purely factual.
But it was entirely disturbing, and all to familiar.
… Kichi. That's her name. Wait, no. That was her name. A girl that Himiko had met, when she had been on her own. Cute, with short hair and the purest smile. She was absolutely adorable. Himiko had had such a large crush on her, but that felt like it had been an eternity ago.
But the picture was true to life, and true to her fate. Splayed across the ground, her limbs slack and her head twisted unnaturally. Bruises, cuts, stabs, and bite marks. So many bite marks, little dots peppering her body in clusters of four. And, overlaid on her body, dozens of veins and arteries, labelled and named.
It looked more like a photograph than a graphite sketch, a photograph Himiko didn't need to see. One she had never wanted to see. She had made mistakes. She knew that. But now she had Izu-kun, and Etsuko, and a normal life. She… she had just wanted to put all of this behind her. But old habits die hard. She had scared Aimi with her drawings, and Mrs. Igarashi too. The only difference now was that she had reference material to use.
"Carotid artery… Ulnar Artery… Common femoral vein…" Etsuko scowled, shooting Himiko a concerned look. "What on earth did you draw?"
There was a line. There was a line Himiko would not cross. She would tell her friend about her quirk, about her relationship with Izu-kun, maybe even her family. But not this. There was no way she could explain this. She couldn't explain it and keep her new home.
Not even to Izu-kun.
She ignored the twisted knot in her stomach, and forced a smile. "It's the human circulatory system, obviously!"
"Look at how much detail you put in it… it's crazy." Etsuko's eyes shifted from the picture to the blonde, and then back to the picture, filled with concern. She ran her fingers over the page, straightening it to get a better look as her friend shifted uncomfortably. Etsuko pointed at the labeled veins, and Himiko could see the gears shifting behind her eyes. "But, what're these for? Is there a pattern or something?"
A pattern? Himiko took a nervous glance, looking over the veins and arteries. They were all deep veins, the sort that could kill a person if punctured. That was obvious. Other than that, she couldn't see…
Oh, no.
No, there was a pattern.
They weren't just deep veins. They were the deep veins that were the most accessible.
The deep veins that were the easiest to kill someone with.
She let out a lighthearted giggle, a wide, tightlipped smile on her face. "Just some of the major deep veins!"
"Huh… Ok." Etsuko looked her up and down, and there was a tense silence, as though she had questions she knew she couldn't ask. But, eventually, she handed the paper back to Himiko, and jerked her head towards the door. "Well, let's get to lunch. You're gonna eat with me and the other's today, right?"
"Hm? Oh, I was planning to eat with-" Himiko began to decline her friend's offer, but the pleading look in Etsuko's gaze gave her pause. Shaking her head, Himiko gave in. "Yep!"
"Finally!" Etsuko pushed her chair in, and the two left the classroom, making their way down the somewhat crowded hallway. "You've been spending all your free time with Midoriya, and I've been wanting to introduce you to some of my friends from the other classes."
"Of course I eat with him!" Himiko defended herself, slipping around Etsuko as she fell into her typical lopsided walk. "I have to make time for my Izu-kun!"
Etsuko laughed, working around her friend's unusual walking habits. "Himi-chan, you literally live with him!"
The two chuckled, making their way towards the school courtyard as they chatted. But, beneath the casual conversation, Himiko's stomach was twisting itself into knots.
Himiko remembered it. She remembered it far too clearly. How Kichi screamed when Himiko bit her, how she struggled as Himiko buried the knife in the girl's flesh. The feeling of slicing open her veins, the heat of her blood on Himiko's skin. The salty tears and iron blood. And, above all, the pleasure.
It had felt amazing.
Beyond amazing.
Beyond what she had felt with Izu-kun.
… Would Izu-kun say no? Mrs. Midoriya didn't want her to, but… Himiko wasn't part of her family anyway. The woman probably wouldn't trust her no matter what. It hurt to know that, but it was true. So, really, it was just a matter of keeping it secret. If she were to ask Izu-kun, if she were to take a knife to his flesh, would he say no?
Her heart thud in her chest.
Imagine it. Imagine Izu-kun, screaming in pain. Thrashing back and forth, begging for her to stop, begging for more. Cold steel and hot blood, purple bruises and tear stained cheeks. If only she could-
No! Bad Himiko! Bad! She internally slapped herself, but didn't let it show through her friendly smile. What if Mrs. Midoriya found out? Or what if she pushed Izu-kun too far? What would she do then? Kill them and move on, just like every other time!?
… No. No, she couldn't. She didn't want to lose her home. It was a weak thought, a small, quiet type that she didn't even want to think of as a possibility. She wanted to pretend that it was out of the picture, that after so long, she had a chance to simply live without the constantly looming threat of abandonment. But she couldn't lie to herself. She wasn't going to lie anymore, not to Izu-kun, not to Etsuko, not to anyone.
… Not any more than she needed to.
Just don't think about all that. Live in the moment. Move on. If everything was okay from here on out, that was enough. She laughed, a harsh, tinny sound, but real enough to fit into her normal, friendly conversation, and loud enough to distract the blonde from her thoughts.
Taking a step outside, Himiko followed her friend outside, meandering across the large stretch of flat concrete. The courtyard itself was nice in the late afternoon; grey snow was settled on the ground, pushed into piles at the corners, and the pale white sun shone bright in the clear february sky. Groups of students milled about, some chatting and eating, others tossing around a basketball on the court. In some ways, Himiko was surprised that Izu-kun wasn't with them; half the time, he spent his free time at school shooting hoops with his classmates. Maybe he was in his classroom; he'd spend time there too, reading news articles he'd be sure to share with her later.
Himiko giggled to herself, looking forward to today's modern events' update.
"So, here we are." Coming to a stop at a table with two other girls, Etsuko dramatically threw open her arms, a car salesman attempting to entice a potential customer. "Everyone, this is Himi-chan, the new girl in my class! I thought you might want to meet her, so I brought her to lunch!"
One girl, with a set of dark brown pigtails and a round, friendly face gave a huge, welcoming wave, the dramatic sort one might use greet an old friend from the other side of the parking lot. Followed by an enthusiastic smile, she scooted on the bench, giving Himiko plenty of space to sit. "Yo! I'm Akahana!"
"Hiya! It's great to meet ya!" Himiko returned the overzealous wave, plopping down beside her, before turning to the other girl. "And you?"
"'Sup. Name's Kiyo." The other girl spoke rather coldly in comparison to Akahana, but there was still a distinct friendliness in her half-mumbled words. She lacked the explosive energy of her brown-haired friend, a set of chopsticks halfway in her scowling mouth and a critical eyebrow quirked. Her straight black hair fell down to her narrow shoulders, and her pupils were so large that her red irises practically didn't exist.
Himiko opened her mouth to respond, but was almost immediately interrupted by Akahana tapping on her shoulder. "So, so, where are you from?"
"Hm?" Himiko turned to the smaller girl while Etsuko made her way around the table, joining Kiyo on the other side. "Oh, I'm originally from Kobe, but I've moved around a lot. I'm hoping to stay here for a while though!"
The girl nodded in understanding, clicking her chopsticks together as she turned back to her lunchbox. "I actually moved around a lot too as a kid, but my family finally got to settle down here. Did your family move here for work?"
"No, not for work. I moved here on my own." Himiko struggled to keep up, completely unprepared for such a sudden conversation. This girl talked ridiculously fast, like a movie playing at double speed. How was she so casual about this? It was as though Himiko was just a returning pal, rather than someone Akahana had met for the first time, and it made Himiko's head spin. As normal as this was, Himiko had no idea how people did it. But most of the time, people didn't talk to her at all, so that wasn't really a surprise. She'd figure it out.
"Ooh, wow!" Akahana took a bit of rice, but kept talking anyways, chatting through a mouthful of food. "You live alone?"
"No, I live with some family friends. They actually made me this lunch today!" Opening her lunch box, she took a moment to look over the contents. Rice, some boiled vegetables… Oh, some little hot dogs cut up to be cute little squids! Himiko smiled eagerly, raising her chopsticks. Too bad she wasn't eating with Izu-kun, he loved them.
Etsuko swallowed down her food, and laughed out loud. "Not just some family friends, mind you. She moved in with her boyfriend."
Kiyo glanced up from her food, a dry smile growing on her face. "I smell gossip. Story, please?"
"Ah, well…" Himiko paused, a wide grin on her face as she considered her words. "When I moved here, I moved in with a family with a son my age, and cute! Really cute. Like, he just has the kindest smile, and eyes that twinkle like big green stars, and-"
"Oh, you got her started." Etsuko cut in, wearing an exasperated smile as she shook her head."She could go on like this for hours."
Kiyo made a sound halfway between an amused grunt and a low chuckle, her dark eyes lingering on the blonde. "So, who's prince charming?"
Etsuko snicker. "You're not gonna believe it."
Glancing between the two chattering girls, Akahana cocked her head. "Well, who is it?"
Etsuko looked over to Himiko, silently asking if it was okay for her to tell. Well, Himiko wasn't ashamed. And besides, if Etsuko didn't tell them, the blonde would! She nodded enthusiastically, giving her friend the okay.
Etsuko jerked her head over to the basketball court, where a tall blond guy was making a shot. "Midoriya. The one in Bakugo's class."
Akahana laughed in disbelief. "Wait, really?!"
Himiko giggled nervously, feeling her cheeks heat up. "Yep! He's my little Izu-kun!"
Kiyo merely grunted, raising her eyebrows as she casually raised another bite of food to her mouth. "Huh, color me surprised. I don't really see him too often, but he never struck me as one to date. Or, if he did, probably someone a bit more…" She paused, her food just centimeters away from her lips as her cold gaze traveled over Himiko. "... subdued?"
"You'd be surprised! He can get pretty wild when it's just me and him…" Himiko averted her eyes, an almost shy smile on her face as she ran her tongue over her canines. If you only knew him on the surface, then all Izuku was was a nervous, nerdy kid. But Himiko had dug a bit deeper, and had found his potential. She had barely touched it, but it was already so much more than she had found in anyone else. He hadn't just let her bite him. He didn't just understand her. He had bit back, an animal driven by passion just like herself. They were birds of a feather, and only she knew that. That thought alone made her heart beat a bit faster.
"Wait, is he where you got your-" Etsuko looked over, confused, before a light of sudden understanding came to her eyes. "Oh, n-never mind!"
"But, why did you want to date him? He seems kinda depressed all the time, and I wouldn't be able to handle that negativity in my life!" Akahana gave a teasing grin, bumping shoulders with Himiko.
"Hm…" The blonde playfully bumped her back, before resting her chin in her palm. Why did she decide to date him? There's a lot of answers for that. He was cute and childish, but oddly mature. His hair was soft and fluffy, and his smile was unbearably pure. He saw every injustice, no matter how large, as his personal responsibility, and cared about others so much more than himself. But, if she had to choose... "It's because he's so understanding. We're all a bit strange, but he doesn't see that as bad! And I think that's just so sweet!"
"Well, of course we're all a bit strange. We all have our…" Akahana paused, grinning slyly and looking Kiyo dead in the eye. "... quirks."
While Etsuko and Himiko laughed, Kiyo just groaned, pinching her nose. "You and your puns. You'd make an amazing father, you know that?"
At that, Akahan groaned too, losing just a bit of her eccentric energy. "Oh, don't make me think about kids. I just had to babysit my little brother last night, and it was chaos! He's learning to control his quirk, but that just means he's intentionally setting the drapes on fire!"
Etsuko and Kiyo laughed at Akahana's misfortune, and Himiko couldn't help but join in, the exasperation on the girl's face just too much to not laugh at. Himiko couldn't imagine taking care of a kid, let alone one with a powerful quirk. Then again, the idea of having a kid did appeal to her… a little family of her own. Would her kid have gold eyes like her own, or green ones like Izu-kun? And what about their hair? Well, if nothing else, their quirk would probably come from Himiko's side…
Himiko could feel the stupid grin on her face, but she didn't mind. Either way, having a family was years away. She would have to go through university first, both her and Izu-kun. They'd figure everything out after that.
Akahana pouted, an adorable scowl on her face, but it quickly disappeared when she turned to Himiko. "Oh, speaking of quirks, what's yours? I can store electricity in my body, and release it when I want."
'And I'm a telepath.' Kiyo didn't move a muscle, still chewing her food, but her voice reverberated through Himiko's mind. 'Etsu-chan, please remember that while you fantasize. I don't want any more X-rated thoughts during math class.'
Etsuko only averted her eyes, but Himiko stared in horror. She can read thoughts? Had she heard everything Himiko had been thinking? Can she read them right now? Are you hearing this?
Kiyo's only response was a dry smile. 'I'm kidding. It's one-way. I can't read your mind.'
Himiko silently sighed in relief, but Etsuko snickered, rolling her eyes. The amber-eyed girl plucked up a slice of egg, placing it in her mouth. "Oh thank god, I thought you caught me."
Akahana laughed, a lighthearted sound. "We don't need to be mind readers to tell who you like! You stare a lot!"
Kiyo laughed too, but it was a darker, coyer sound. "Who would've guessed that you of all people would like him. But, then again. you've always had a thing for buff blonds."
Etsuko choked on the egg, her face blossoming red. She fidgeted for a moment, before finally swallowing the food and sputtering out a response. "A-anyway, Himi-chan, you were going to say what your quirk was?"
The conversation was suddenly passed to Himiko, who, with her chopsticks in her mouth, was about as prepared as Izu-kun was the first time she jumped on him. Her quirk? Was she really going to tell them now? Like, At least Etsuko was a shapeshifter too, but she had just met them, and… No, no 'ands,' 'ifs' or 'buts.' She was going to have a normal life. And she was going to start by being as honest as possible. She coughed, a casual smile on her face. "I'm a shapeshifter, just like Etsu-chan. I just need to drink a bit of someone's blood, and it allows me to transform into them."
Akahana twiddled with her chopsticks, taking a moment to think about it. "Huh, interesting. Does it have to be blood?"
The nonchalant response took Himiko off guard. Most people were disgusted by it, but Akahana and the others just seemed surprised, as if she had said her quirk was something pointlessly specific like 'my left thumb turns blue every full moon.' Himiko tried to hide her amazement, and quickly regained her momentum. "Yeah, only blood. I've tried other things, such as hair, but it doesn't work. But, the more I drink, the longer I can maintain their form."
Kiyo hummed in understanding, cradling her chin in one hand. "I see. What about animals, or objects?"
"I can't transform into objects; no genetic material! But animals…" She took a moment to consider, drawing on old memories. "I tried once, when I was younger. It was a little birdie. I actually managed to change to the color of the bird's feathers, but nothing beyond that. I think there wasn't enough matching genetic material, since birds and humans are so different."
Kiyo and Akahana scowled, but while Akahana's was one of concern, Kiyo's was one of curiosity. The more subdued girl drummed her fingers against her jaw, a question lingering on her tongue. "So… what's it like?"
"Hm?" Himiko cocked her head. "What do you mean?"
The girl shrugged, as though the question was self evident. "Well, I haven't met many that have a quirk that relies on blood. Well, none at all, really. I've heard of a few heroes that use blood, but even then, there was only one near… Osaka or Kobe, I think, that actually had to ingest it. And, it sounds like you've used your quirk on at least a semi-regular basis. So… how does it feel?"
That was a difficult question. What was she supposed to say? 'Oh, it tastes great, want to try it sometime?' That would go over great, Himiko was sure of it.
… But, maybe. Not that bluntly, but that openly. Etsuko had shown that she would accept a lot of things about Himiko, and she seemed to trust these two. And, in fact, Kiyo seemed pretty open minded too. Himiko could see it in the girl's large eyes, a genuine sense of curiosity. It wasn't all that different from Izu-kun's, actually, that desire to understand the world better. So… it was worth a shot. Just be honest. She took a deep breath.
"It's…" She giggled nervously before continuing, not quite able to look Kiyo in the eye. "It'll sound strange to you, but it feels good!"
"Wait, legit?" Akahana gaped. "I can't imagine it!"
"Yeah! Like syrup, sweet and hot on my tongue! Oh, it's impossible to describe!" The words started to come out easier, wild enthusiasm starting to leak into her voice.
Out of the corner of her eye, Himiko caught sight of Etsuko, who was tense with shock. Had she said something wrong? She had definitely said something wrong! She was probably being too happy about it. But it made her happy, so why was that wrong? She wanted to stop, but her mouth just kept moving, the truth spilling out.
"And not just the blood! Have you ever bit someone?"
Oh god, Akahana was horrified, she could see it in the girl's stare. Her smile felt too wide, like someone had torn her jaw from her face, and then tried to pop it back in.
"Tasted their skin, felt it tearing under your teeth? It's the best part, feeling their body jerk as their blood slips past your lips!"
She needs to stop talking! But what was she supposed to say? What could she do to transition out of this? She looked over to Kiyo, and saw a tinge of fear in her concerned eyes.
"It's addictive, and-" She suddenly stopped, her mouth half open. Looking around, she took a deep breath, letting her smile fall. Ducking her head a bit, she didn't look at anyone, chewing on her lip. "... And, yeah, that's… that's how it feels."
The silence was thick enough to cut, and toxic enough to burn. A few kids shouted, passing the basketball back and forth, but not a single one of the girls spoke. Himiko had messed up. Bad. Look at their faces, the way they were trying to look at each other without making eye contact. Trying to tell each other something without Himiko hearing.
She knew that look. She had seen it everywhere in middle school, and on the faces of most adults. Shock, disgust, the look of someone who didn't know how to say anything nice, so they decided not to say anything at all.
There went her chance.
She internally kicked herself.
Wasted!
Squandered!
'Be honest.' That's what she told herself. She put her faith in honesty, as though lying had caused all of her issues. But she had forgotten one key thing.
Just because a freak was honest didn't make people like them.
Etsuko's uncomfortable laugh broke the uncomfortable silence. "Well, to each their own, right? Just don't go killing people, okay?"
Himiko flinched, but forced a smile. "Y-yeah. It feels good, but I don't wanna hurt anyone!"
Etsuko tried to restart the conversation, but even then, it was quieter than before. They all wanted to talk, but none of them knew what to say. Himiko just sighed, trying to hide in plain sight.
She wasn't cute. She knew that. Her friends, as few as they were, were always cuter than her, always prettier. She had tried to copy Aimi's style to a T; her clothes, her makeup, her cute little way of speaking and the little gestures she made. She watched the same blogs, read the same articles, shopped at the same stores.
It hadn't worked.
Aimi's little laugh made her approachable; Himiko's sounded like an insane mouse.
Aimi's makeup was carefully applied in detail; Himiko's was an untrained artist's canvas.
Aimi's cute style refined her beauty; Himiko's was a poorly fitted mask.
And since then, nothing had changed. That mask, she could fit it over her face, and drink the syrup to make it bearable, but it did nothing to change the monster that loomed underneath. Her newly established routine had proven that, the cracks in her facade beginning to shine through as the freak within shifted and struggled to get comfortable.
… She would fix it. Himiko would look normal, sound normal, be normal. That way, she could have a normal life, be part of normal society, without tearing herself apart. So she wouldn't be judged, she wouldn't be the skeleton in the closet. She could have friends, have a job, go to school and chat and smile and not feel like she lived behind a glass pane.
First, she'd fix the hellish quirk that hid in her genes. Make it a normal quirk, one that she could control. One that she could use without becoming, as Aunt Iku would say, 'a demon child.'
And then… and then she'd fix herself. Dye her hair black. Learn how to actually use makeup. Wear contacts, maybe even change her pupil shape if she could. And she'd stop drinking blood. She'd never bite another person. Never tear into their flesh, never commit that sin again. She would be norm-
'Is it weird that I like the biting more?'
… Oh Izu-kun, why did he have to say that? It was wrong. Everyone else agreed. Aunt Iku, the doctors, Mrs. Midoriya. But Mr. Mossy just had to say that, had to give his soft little smile and tell her exactly what she wanted to hear. Exactly what she didn't need to hear.
She hated herself. She hated herself so much. She hated that she couldn't be normal, as much as she wanted it. She hated that she'd never be able to feel like 'part of a group,' because she was always the odd one out. She hated her quirk, her teeth, her hair, her eyes. She hated everything that defined her.
But Izu-kun loved it.
Life was too hard.
)ooOoo(
The moment Izuku saw Himiko, he knew something was wrong. Not only had it taken him almost an hour to find her, she wasn't smiling.
"So, if you were to look at quirks, there are three types: emitter, transformation, and mutation."
"Uh-huh! We learned that in grade school. My quirk is a transformation quirk."
Well, that wasn't right. She had been smiling, but it wasn't her smile. It was a small, pleasant smile, calm and subtle and not at all Himiko. It looked like someone photoshopped one of his classmates' smiles over Himiko's much more lively one.
"Yeah, and Mom's is an emitter, while Backdraft has a mutation quirk."
"Backdraft?"
"Oh, a local hero who has water spickets instead of hands. He usually helps the fire department, and- and anyways, some experts divide mutation quirks into two smaller types, human and inhuman mutation quirks."
It unnerved him, but he couldn't quite explain why. He knew something was wrong, but he didn't know how, let alone what. She had been standing there at the end of the hallway, just like she had been every day, waiting for him so that they could walk home together. She greeted him in her excited, over energetic puppy way. She gave him a big hug, completely ignoring both everyone else and standard social etiquette. But something was still off.
"Human mutation quirks are like the ones you have; extended canines, slit pupils, physical changes that are more like 'additions' rather than a total transformation."
It was that everything was… subdued. She wasn't circling him in a happy dance, but rather, just spinning in low orbit. Her hug seemed to be one of relief, not excitement. And, above all, she wasn't speaking. Not really. She had been talking a lot, but she hadn't said anything.
So, he did the only thing he knew how to: talk. Talk and talk and talk, so maybe Himiko could work whatever was wrong out of her system. Really, what was coming out of his mouth didn't matter; an article he had read earlier, one that he had found interesting. The important part was that it filled the air, that it said 'everything is normal.' Because, if he acted like everything was normal, it might give Himiko enough space to think everything was okay.
… That was the theory, at least.
"But then, there are inhuman mutation quirks, which are total overhauls of your body; imagine heroes like Cementoss." Izuku made his way down the hallway, Himiko closely circling him as they made their way out of the near-empty school building, many of the students have long since left. With one hand clutching his notebooks, the other was making hand gestures that no one but him and the local linguistics professor might understand, and his eyes seemed to be glancing between Himiko and the invisible notes written on his shoes. "Now, experts have found a really interesting pattern: people with inhuman mutation quirks are four times more likely than those with human mutation quirks to become villains, and six times more likely than those with transformation or emitter quirks. These numbers aren't random, they're a trend, and it's fascinating!"
"Hm." Himiko put a finger to her chin, that small smile still lingering on her face. "Why is that? Did the article you read say?"
Izuku opened his mouth to respond, but then took a moment to think, his finger hanging in the air. "No, actually. It talked about the effects on the inhuman quirk community, but it didn't say why it was like this." He raised his hand to his mouth, his eyes becoming distinctly focused on the ground in front of him.
Why would that be? There were plenty of things happening to people with mutation quirks, another article mentioned they had lower income than people with other types of quirks. And the Equalist Party discussed issues about it too; the party head himself had a mutation quirk. The party's base of support came almost exclusively from the quirkless and those with mutation quirks, and that made sense. But, why did these trends even exist? All people, regardless of quirks, were equal under law; it had been like that for decades. So-
Himiko giggled, interrupting Izuku's thoughts. But is was tinged with… sadness? Izuku couldn't quite put his finger on it. "W-what is it?"
"Oh, you're just muttering again." She spoke with an odd happiness in her voice, something that felt almost artificial. "You're really strange, just like me."
Izuku furrowed his eyebrows, pushing through the door to the school courtyard. "What do you mean?"
"Oh, nooothing," she lulled, stopping just outside the door. Her head rocked to one side, and her eyes travelled upwards, following a passing winter cloud. For a brief moment, she was unnaturally silent, her smile melting away as the light in her eyes died. "There's nothing wrong with being strange, right?"
"Huh?" Izuku paused, standing a pace away from her. He scowled, soft concern in his eyes, and worry weighing down his stomach. Where had this come from? She looked so… rejected. Empty, even. He had started seeing that look since she started school, and it hurt to look at. Like a puppy, the energetic and playful sort, shoved into a tiny kennel. Nowhere to go, nothing to do. She was… trapped. But Izuku had no idea by what. He coughed, squeezing his notebooks tighter and looking away. "I-I mean, no, not really. Everyone is special in their own way, I think."
Himiko's eyes didn't move from the cloud, watching it lazily slide and twist across the pale blue sky. But her lips flickered, making a small smile, far weaker than the one from before, but somehow more real. "... Good."
Izuku looked between her and the cloud, trying to understand. Of course it was okay to be strange. Think outside the box, and do what you're best at. That's what she had been telling him through his entire training, so why on earth would she be asking him?
"Hey," Izuku spoke up, forcing an enthusiastic grin, and Himiko let her head roll in his direction. "Let's get going. We still have training, remember?"
She nodded, turning to him. "Okay, let's-"
"Deku!" A shout took the two off guard, along with the scrape of a door being thrown open and an unmistakable growl. "Get your ass over here!"
Izuku whipped around, instantly knowing who it was, while Himiko turned more casually, spinning on one heel. Stomping towards him was a tall blond, an angry scowl on his face and his fists clenched.
Oh no.
"Who's this?" Himiko glanced back, seemingly more curious than anything. She didn't even seemed surprised, let alone phased, nonchalantly balancing on her heels.
Who was this? How was he supposed to explain in the few brief moments he had? He might as well try to describe the entire process of brain surgery while he was at it, that was about as easy! Looking between a quickly approaching Katsuki and a questioning Himiko, Izuku struggled to find his words. "Oh, uh, this is Katsuki, he's a-"
"Deku, what were you pulling back there?!" Izuku didn't even get a chance to finish, with his classmates quickly closing the distance between them. Himiko took a step to the side, her cold yellow eyes following Katsuki even as she let him through, but the blond didn't even acknowledge her, short of shoving past her. He stopped just short of Izuku, too close to be comfortable, glaring down at Izuku with his fiery red eyes, but the green-haired boy didn't move an inch.
"W-" Izuku stuttered, staring at the ground as he struggled to find his voice. But, after a moment, he spoke with as much calm control as he could. "What do you mean?"
"You know damn well what I'm talking about!" Katsuki lashed out, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him close. Flecks of spit flew out of his mouth as he shouted, and Izuku grit his teeth. "In swim class, you were making fun of me!"
That's what this was about: picking a fight. Of course.
That's all Katsuki ever did, wasn't it? Ever since that first confrontation, Katsuki had used even the smallest excuse to get angry at 'Deku.' And that was why. Izuku was sick of being Deku. He was sick of Katsuki's stupid games. He was sick of all the crap he had to go through. He didn't cower. He didn't hide, or tiptoe around the blond. Not any more. He did what he wanted, no matter what Katski thought.
Izuku had figured it out. Katsuki didn't really care about all of this. No, he just wanted his 'Deku' back. He wanted someone to beat up and make fun of, a weakling to be better than.
He took a deep breath. Being angry won't help. Look at what happened last time he fought back. Got dragged to the principal's office, just to hear the man try his hardest to make it seem like it was 'both side's fault.'
Izuku held back a sigh, and grabbed Katsuki's wrist, pulling it off of his collar. Stumbling back, he still refusing to look the taller boy in the eye. "I was swimming."
"Yeah, and trying to beat me!" Katsuki took another step forward, hissing with indignation. Izuku restrained himself from snorting, glaring at one of the courtyard's many leafless trees. 'Had' beat him, Izuku might add. He had improved his lap time in the pool quite a bit since last year. Of course, Katsuki treated it as a personal attack.
Then again, to him, it might be. He only seemed to find value in the fact that he was better than his classmates. Izuku couldn't think of better hero material.
"I was just doing the best I could." His tone was low and dry, lacking in all emotions. There was nothing to gain by being here. Either he ended up in a fight with Katsuki, or ended up being beat up by Katsuki. Either way, the school would say it was his fault, so there really was no winning. Thankfully, the blond wasn't standing between him and the gate this time. In theory, he could just walk away.
Katsuki sneered. "Yeah, well your best isn't shit! If I was allowed to use my quirk, you wouldn't be able to even come close!"
Izuku nodded, barely paying attention. Listening to the boy wasn't worth the cost of admission. Turning on his heel, he gestured for Himiko to follow. "Yeah, I'm sure. I need to get going. Himiko, we need to-"
Katsuki stepped around him, blocking his path to the gate. "Going off to do what? Training? Like that's going to help!"
Izuku grit his teeth and shot Katsuki a venomous glare. "Well, it's not really any of your business, okay?"
The taller boy grunted, an angry sound with just a touch of satisfied humor. "You think you have a chance? Really? A useless Deku like you?"
"Let me through, Katsuki." Izuku hissed, his fuse running short.
Popping his knuckles, Katsuki leaned in close, a shark like smile on his face. "What, are you gonna make me? You're weak. I don't care how much you run around and play hero with Powderface over there, you're still nothing!"
Izuku wanted to punch him then and there. But-
But he couldn't. Control yourself. It's ok. It's just words. He can't actually hurt her, and until Izuku throws the first punch, the boy can't hurt him either. He tried to take a deep breath, let all the tension out, but his fists were still shaking. He spoke quietly, a red hot bomb about to explode. "Don't call her that."
Katsuki laughed at that reaction, a sharp and arrogant sound. The sound of someone with complete control, the cruel duke of his own little duchy. "Deku and Powderface, a pair of freaks! Let me guess, she's the reason you get all torn up? You let her do whatever she wants, because she's the only one that actually pretends to care about a worthless person like you!"
That was it.
That was it, Izuku was done.
"And you think you're so much better?" Izuku screamed, red in the face. Whatever filter Izuku had, his anger had melted through it. "All you care about is being strong! You like being the big, bad Bakugou, as if that makes you better than everyone else!"
"That's because I'm going to be the best!" Katsuki returned fire, his palms sparking as he grabbed Izuku by the collar. "I'm going to be more than all you weaklings at this school! I'm going to be better than any hero that ever was!"
Izuku grit his teeth and stared Katsuki dead in the eye, green rage clashing with savage red joy. Of course Katsuki was enjoying this! To him, this was nothing more than a game, a way to assert dominance, and Izuku hated it! He felt his knife in his pocket, it's cold weight almost begging him to use it. Oh, and how he wanted to! If he could, he would slice the boy's stomach open, show him exactly what it meant to be powerful! Maybe once he saw his own blood on the concrete-
Izuku's thoughts ground to a halt, his stomach twisting into steel knots. What on earth was he thinking? That was- It was so wrong he didn't even know how to describe it! Guilt and disgust flooded him, mixing with his fury to make a nauseating concoction.
He looked away, breaking eye contact and ending their battle of wills. But not without one last muttered jab. "You're everything that's wrong with heroes. So power-obsessed, that you make villains look good."
At that, Katsuki narrowed his eyes. "Why, you-!"
There was no warning, the blond's fist slamming into Izuku's face with the force of a freight train. Izuku stubbled back, breaking from Katsuki's grasp, and looking up just in time to see the boy coming at him again, fist raised.
He should get into a stable stance. Put his feet a shoulder width, and duck his head. Defend, and prepare for a counter attack. But he didn't move.
He couldn't fight. If he threw one punch, that was it. Another mark on his record, proof that he was always up to no good and starting fights. He wanted to be a hero. He wanted to help people. But, to get into U.A., he needed a clean record. Good grades, a good test score, and most important, no fights. And so, he just had to sit and take it. He squeezed his eyes shut and covered his head, bracing for the next impact.
One that didn't come.
There was a moment of silence, and the shuffling of feet on concrete.
Cautiously, Izuku opened one eye, as though the moment he did would be the moment Katsuki hit him.
And there between them, casually holding Katsuki's fist back, was Himiko. She let go, letting his fist fall, and cocked her head. And, despite the uncomfortable silence, she offered up a friendly smile. "So, what's your name, Mr. Spikey?"
"Wha-?" Katsuki's silent confusion goes up in flames, gritting his teeth and shouting just centimeters from Himiko's face. "Don't fucking call me that, Powderface!"
If that was meant to scare the girl, it failed, with Himiko raising her hand to her mouth and giggling gleefully. "Why not? I think it's a cute nickname!"
"I don't care what you think! It's a stupid name!"
Izuku could only watch, absolutely dumbfounded. What on earth was Himiko doing? She was being… well, so casual about it, as though it had just been a pleasant run in on the street. The girl took slow, deliberate steps, methodically circling the blond. And, in that moment, Izuku noticed something.
Himiko was smiling. But she certainly wasn't happy.
No, her eyes were cold. Deadly. A viper scanning their prey, preparing to strike. That inhuman part of her, the part that always terrified him, was on full display. Her hand was firmly placed in her pocket, and if she were anything like him, he knew exactly what was in there. His gut told him that there was something very, very dangerous about Himiko, and in that moment, he was afraid he was going to find out exactly what.
Himiko glanced over to her partner, that toxic smile stretched across her face. "So, is this the person who beats you up?"
"Huh? W-well," Izuku sputtered out an answer, his eyes darting between an annoyed Katsuki and a deadly Himiko. "Yeah, he is, but-"
"Why don't you fight back?" Himiko cut in, not even letting him finish. She continued to circle, hungerly devouring every detail.
"He'd win!" He blurted it out, fear seeping into his bones. He felt like he was negotiating for Katsuki's life, as though one wrong answer would end with a blade through the blond boy's jugular. "I mean, he's stronger, and, uh…"
Pausing, Himiko looked the two boys up and down, before shaking her head. "Not really, no. You can keep up with me, so I don't think he'd be toooo much of a challenge."
"Don't fucking ignore me!" Katsuki snapped at that, and tried to snach Himiko out of her orbit. But the girl easily avoided him, slipping past his hand effortlessly. It was equally impressive and scary, how little mind she paid him. She was acting as though Katsuki wasn't even near them, just a person brought up in conversation.
Izuku swallowed the bile building in his throat, his mind scrambling to find justification. "... I shouldn't be fighting. It's not right."
Himiko just laughed, never breaking eye contact except for a slow, catlike blink. "Well, it's not like you're choosing to. I mean, Mr. Spikey is obviously wanting to. And besides, I think this would be over in a moment if you wanted it to be. Look how sloppy he is! You were better than him months ago!"
"Why, you-!" At the sound of Himiko's teasing, Katsuki tried to grab her again, but once again, she jumped out of his reach, wholly unconcerned.
"That doesn't make fighting any better! I could hurt him." That should be justification in itself! He didn't think he should have to say that, but looking at Himiko, he was grasping at straws. And… Well, part of him felt that she might not care about whether it hurt someone. That-
That scared him.
The girl just shrugged, acknowledging the detail, but not caring. "And heroes could hurt villains. Does that make heroes wrong?"
… They had had this conversation before. He remembered it. Yes, heroes had to use violence. Sometimes, that was the only way. But he wasn't a hero, not yet. He was a student. And besides, the situations weren't comparible. Heroes defended people. They were enforcing the law. Izuku wasn't doing either. He was just a kid, breaking the rules by beating up another student. It didn't matter if it was self defence, he didn't have the right to go overboard. And-
And, if he were to try and protect himself, he'd end his chances of being a hero.
Himiko cocked her head, letting a bit of genuine sympathy enter her voice. "So, why do you really not want to fight him?"
"... Because, if I want to get into U.A., I need to have a clean record." Izuku looked at his feet, not quite willing to think about that reason. "If I get into fights, they could reject me."
That was the main reason. He could tell himself he was too weak, or hide behind moral reasons, but at the end of the day what kept him from raising his fists was fear. Fear that he would ruin his own chances of attending U.A., fear that he would fail.
His eyes burned a bit, the truth becoming so much more concrete, so much more painful, now that he had said it.
Himiko nodded in understanding, putting the pieces together. "So, you don't want to fight him because, no matter what, you're the one who gets blamed?"
"... Yeah." What else was there for him to say? He wanted to fight back. But, at the end of the day, he refused to, because he knew the bully would win.
Compared to all the underdog stories he loved to read, he really seemed pathetic.
There were a few moments of absolute silence, with Himiko carefully tiptoeing around an agitated Katsuki. Izuku could see it in his eyes, he was waiting for a moment to strike. But Himiko, in her feline ways, managed to never give that opportunity, always managing to move in just the right way to make it difficult for him to predict. And, as she moved, Izuku could see the gears turning behind her toxic yellow eyes.
"So, what would you do if he did it to someone else? Nothing?"
"Huh?" At first, Izuku couldn't compute what she said. Katsuki hadn't done this to someone else in a long time, not since they were kids. And, when he did it then…
Izuku had tried, but he had failed.
Himiko seemed satisfied by his lack of an answer, as though she knew something he didn't. With a smile on her face, the sort that was far too thin and far too wide, she stopped in her tracks. "I'm the selfish type, you know."
"I got you, bitch!" Like a dog let off his leash, Katsuki lept at her, furious sparks flying from his palms and a thirst for vengeance in his eyes.
And, in that moment, Izuku knew he had to act.
A/N: Hi! Welcome back! Take a seat, grab a drink! It's been a month. Crazy, huh? Yeah, finally got it out, though, so that's nice. I'm actually going to be working back into a regular schedule soon, an update every two weeks, so don't worry; updates won't take
this long every time. It was just a bit of a messy summer, and I was actually starting to lay the groundwork for my own original fiction, so it took a bit longer than usual.
In other news, some might have noticed that this story has some new cover art! (I use new in the relative sense; it's been a month) But, credit for that actually goes to a reader and member of my Discord, ChildishGuestino! Make sure to give him a shout out, I personally quite like it. The color palate was a nice choice, with a variety of reds, pinks, and purples.
With only the worst of intentions,
Imp the Nefarious
Guest, chapter 13, July 4: … ok, I gotta admit, this is one of my favorite comments. Short, to the point, and it actually made me laugh out loud when I read it the first time. In response, yeah, yeah this fic is kinda depressing. Sorry, I made the cheerful insane girl depressing.
Rosinac: I'm flattered! Though, sorry it took me a bit to get the next chapter out. I'll make sure to give you a story worth waiting for! I've actually had issues sometimes writing two characters; sometimes, I'll write an entire section, and then realize 'wait. I just wrote a Himiko section in Izuku's voice. … darn it.' I've done that far too many times to admit, especially early on. But, I'm working on it! Maybe, someday, I'll grow out of my silliness.