It was odd to consider, but fighting was a calming experience.

Izuku wasn't quite sure how to describe it. Revlieving? Relaxing? Not quite. Maybe… Therapeutic? That was probably the closest he would get. It was as if, the moment the knife slid into his grip, all of his other concerns were put on hold, a deep sense of calm filling him. There was no homework, no tests, no Katsuki to bully him and no heroes to fix. They all just slipped away, his mind pushing them aside to focus on the set of yellow eyes in front of him.

When that happened, when the blades were flicked open and the two fought, he and Himiko were at their purest. They didn't need to exchange words, to wear fake smiles or try to fit in. They just were, existing in the moment.

So, Izuku could just look into her sunflower eyes and pretend their little dance, fast and deadly, was the entire world. All he needed to think about was his next move, and hers. There was no future, not beyond the battle. There was no thinking, not beyond strategy. And there were no consequences, not beyond victory and defeat.

He enjoyed that. He enjoyed that simplicity, that certainty. If he had a bad day, he could leave that at the door. If he made a mistake, he could still improve. If he didn't win, he could try again tomorrow. It was okay.

In some strange way, he found peace in fighting.

Today was not one of those times.

"I'm the selfish type, you know." Her eyes were cold, so cold. Sickly yellow with a razorblade pupil, thin and sharp. A lifeless smile, a wide curve sliced into her cheeks. And behind her, there was Katsuki, a rabid dog who had finally found his chance to mangle the stray cat that found endless delight in taunting him.

It was a quiet moment.

Tree branches rattled in the wind.

Cars rumbled in the distance.

But Izuku couldn't speak, his mind too filled with thoughts to even consider opening his mouth.

Katsuki hated Himiko, ever since he first knew about her. Izuku didn't know why, not really. She hadn't even spoken to him before today. Maybe he just hated her because of association. She liked Izuku, and Katsuki hated him, and so he hated her. Maybe. It made sense, at least for Katsuki. It didn't help that she didn't even take him seriously. Izuku really had no idea. But, that didn't matter. All that mattered was that he had to-

Katsuki threw himself forwards, lunging at Himiko.

Move!

Izuku darted forward, slapping Himiko out of the way an instant before Katsuki rammed him, a burning train barreling into his chest. Two hands wrapped around Izuku's neck, searing fleks of fire burning into Izuku's skin, and Izuku screamed, his back slamming against the rough concrete. Katsuki tumbled to the ground too, baring his teeth like a wild dog as he tried to straddle the green-haired boy. But Izuku kept moving, his instincts kicking in as he tore the boy's hands off his neck and throwing his forehead against Katsuki's. The blond sucked in a sharp breath of air, but Izuku gave him no space, delivering a tight punch to his gut and throwing him off.

Objective! Get an objective!

Izuku shot to his feet, struggling to maintain his balance with what felt like a rail spike driven through his skull.

He needed to get out. That was his only priority. Himiko? Where was Himiko? She-

There she was, at the drained koi pond. Simply sitting there, an intrigued smile on her face. As though she was just enjoying the show.

Oh thank god.

"Himiko!" He rushed over as fast as he could, trying to close the brief distance between them. "We need to-"

"Deku!"

Nononono!

Izuku jerked back, dragged by a hand that had caught sight of his shoulder. He tried to tear himself free, struggling against the blond's gri-

A fist collided with Izuku's face, a jarring pain shooting through his jaw.

"You worthless piece of shit!" Katsuki screamed, fury in his eyes as he delivered another punch to Izuku's stomach. "Always thinking you're better than me!"

Izuku stumbled back, gasping for air and black spots filling his vision. Plan! A plan, he needed a strategy! Katsuki was top heavy, so maybe he could-

A strike to the face, like a sledgehammer, pushing the boy further away from the koi pond.

Legs, aim for the-

A sharp uppercut smashed into his jaw, and an electric shock of pain shot through him, the taste of blood pouring across the tongue he just bit.

If he could just get Katsuki on the ground, then he'd have the advan-

"Stop your damn muttering!" His thoughts were cut off by another brutal punch to the gut, forcing out whatever little air Izuku had recovered.

Focus! Black spots filled Izuku's vision, he glared past them, panting as he put distance between him and Katsuki and raised his fists to block.

This was nothing like Himiko, not even comparable. Himiko was a cat, hiding in the shadows and striking when she saw weakness. She was an opponent to plan against, someone who would strike once and then disengage. But Katsuki, he was a bull elephant, raw strength that required no strategy. He just hit again and again, smashing his opposition rather than sparring with them. He couldn't win with the same tactics he used against Himiko.

So Izuku had to adapt. It was that simple.

For a short moment, neither of the boys moved, both of them struggling to recover their breath. It was a moment Izuku desperately needed, his mind scrambling to piece together something resembling a strategy.

His weak points. What were his weak points? Legs and forearms. Those were the biggest ones. His footwork was sloppy at best, so it should be easy to throw him off balance. And despite how strong he was, he was constantly overextending himself to land a punch. So, if Izuku stayed right at the edge of Katsuki's reach, he should able to grab his wrist and deliver a kick, which meant… Okay, yeah, that was how to get him on the ground.

Katsuki started to circle, his fiery eyes locked on Izuku's, and Izuku started to circle in turn, keeping at a safe distance away. The shorter boy ducked his head behind his fists, not even daring to blink.

Resources. What resources did he have, and what was the terrain? He was used to the narrow confines of alleyways, where he could push himself off of walls and hide in the many nooks and crannies, preparing to strike his opponent in an ambush. But here? It was so open, so clean, it made him nervous. Basketball courts to his left, a gate to his right, lunch tables behind him, and on the other side of Katsuki, a koi pond that had been drained for the winter. Nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. And there was nothing around him, no dirt to throw, no garbage to lob at his opponent. His only resources were his feet, his fists, and…

Izuku's leg bumped into a bench, leaving him no more room to back up.

The knife Himiko gave him weighed heavy in his pocket. He could use it. He could end the fight quickly.

Izuku was far better with a knife than with his fists alone, and considering how Katsuki has his quirk, it would help cut down that advantage. With that, he could aim for the joints, potentially immobilize-

No, what on earth was he thinking?! It didn't matter if Katsuki had a quirk, there was absolutely no way Izuku was going to try and slice open the boy's joints! He was treading on thin ice as it was, imagine what the school would do if he cut up their favorite student's tendons! He couldn't go all out, that would be the last nail in the coffin for any hope of being a her-

"Shut up!" Katsuki broke from his orbit, throwing himself at Izuku with animalistic disregard, and Izuku's body exploded into action. Catching Katsuki's wrist and dragging him off balance, Izuku kicked the blond's feet out from under him, exactly as planned.

What wasn't planned was Katsuki's other hand.

Izuku spotted it, only centimeters from his stomach, and gasped just instants before the sparks in Katsuki's palm caught.

An explosion rattled Izuku's bones, throwing him against the bench. The world exploded into sound. A boom, a scream, a warcry. But then, a bolt of electricity shot through his body, scorching his nerves before he collapsed to the ground. The sensations that just moments before were completely overwhelming shrunk to mere whimpers, the world becoming darker and dimmer.

It hurt. Everything hurt, in so many ways. His lungs were screaming for air, and while his mouth was open, Izuku wasn't entirely sure he was breathing. His eyes were open, but his brain wasn't processing what he was seeing. His face was hot against the cool concrete, and his hands were numb.

His stomach, his chest, his thighs… they all burned. It was like liquid fire had been poured over them, melting away the skin, and then the frigid air had come to fill the empty space. Was it a medical emergency? Izuku… Izuku couldn't think straight enough to know.

And his neck. Oh god, his neck. It… he must've hit the corner of the bench. He watched his hand closely, and saw it twitch. That meant… well, his spine wasn't broken. That was a good sign. But a low bar.

In his blurry vision, something moved. Something large, with splotches of black and blond.

And it was getting smaller.

"You bitch!" Katsuki's voice rang out, reverberating in Izuku's mind like echoes in a metal room. 'Get over here!"

"Nah!" That was… that was Himiko. And she seemed so casual. Izuku squinted, painfully forcing his vision into focus. He could start to make out details, the singe marks on Katsuki's uniform, and…

… And Himiko, just sitting there as Katsuki approached. She- She wasn't even moving! She had a knowing smile on her face, not even an ounce of fear in her relaxed body. And Katsuki kept stomping towards her, a threat in his clenched fists.

Katsuki was going to hurt her. He was going to-

Izuku clenched his teeth, angry at how useless he was. It had been months. Literal months of training. And Katsuki still beat him, just like he always had. Nothing had changed. Nothing had improved. He was still the Deku.

Tears of fury stung his eyes, drops of acid trickling down his face. He hated them. He hated them so much. Katsuki. The school. Everyone that pretended this was okay. The heroes, the villains, all of them. Because they were all the same, just power hungry monsters. The strong deserved praise and protection, and the weak… they were just toys. Objects to be saved, tools to be used. And if they stepped out of line, opposition to be beaten down.

And Izuku was powerless to stop it.

She had to move! She had to fight! Himiko, do something! Please!

Move!

Move, please!

For the love of all things heroic-!

Izuku shook. Fire burned in his veins. He shook from pain, from fear. From adrenaline and anger. His muscles screamed, telling him to stop, telling him any more would break him. His mind rattled its chains, pleading him to give up, pleading him to understand that it was pointless. But he ignored them. He only listened to his heart.

And his heart demanded victory, no matter the cost.

He grit his teeth, pushing himself up to his elbows. Then his hands. Then his knees. And finally, ignoring every part of him that told him no, ignoring the burns and scrapes, he staggered to his feet, barely balanced on his unsteady legs.

"Katsuki." A crude smile spread across Izuku's face, filled to the brim with brutal, stubborn anger. "I'm not done."

Katsuki paused, halfway to Himiko, and turned, revealing an expression so twisted by rage, it could barely be considered human. But that only made Izuku smile wider. Katsuki was going to fall apart. And Izuku was going to make sure of it.

"What is it, Kaaa-chan? Did you think you're little quirk would stop me?" Izuku mewled, pouting and plastering on a mocking rendition of his oh-so-common pathetic face. But that expression quickly melted away, replaced by a hateful grin. "You thought I was weak. You're wrong."

Katsuki stared at him as though glaring alone could make the boy's head explode, but he didn't make a move. "What the hell do you think you're saying, Deku?!"

Izuku chuckled, so loose and casual it was cruel. It was difficult to stand up straight, especially without wincing in pain, but he straightened every fiber of his being to hide it. "Oh, nothing. Just the little things I've always thought. The ones everyone thinks."

The taller boy didn't even respond properly, his only reaction being a throaty, animalistic growl. Good.

There was a simple fact. When someone was angry, they didn't think as straight. No matter how strong or intelligent a person was, if they couldn't keep their emotions in check, they were as easy to predict as an animal. It was the downfall of many villains, and heroes from north to south always kept that trick in their back pocket. The hard part was figuring out what buttons to push, but lucky for Izuku, Katsuki essentially had them painted on his forehead.

And even Izuku had to admit, in some twisted way, it was fun. Was it right to enjoy this? Izuku didn't know. But it felt good. And with how much pain he was in, that was what mattered.

"Oh, you think you're so big, so strong. You think that you're better than everyone else. But do you know what they say about you behind your back? Do you know what I've heard?" Izuku had no idea what they said behind Katsuki's back. It wasn't like his classmates talked with him. But Izuku knew what he thought, and surely that counted? "They think you're ridiculous. Just a scared little kid that thinks he can prove himself by beating others up."

"Shut up." Katsuki spoke quickly and quietly, his tone as sharp as a knife.

"Ooh, did I touch a nerve?" Izuku feigned surprise, taunting the blond. "Well, of course I did. It's true. After all, who could take you seriously? The only reason you have a shot at U.A. is because the school's been pulling strings for you. You haven't done anything to earn it. You don't deserve it."

"Shut up!" The taller boy was shouting now, his shoulders tense and his teeth grinding against each other.

"Oh, poor little Kaaa-chan. You have yet to realize the most important thing." Izuku's smile only got wider and wider, as though his cheeks were about to split. And, as he closed the distance between them, his voice dropped, his eyes filled with toxic joy. "No one cares about you."

That was the last straw. And Izuku had won.

"Die!' Katsuki leaped at Izuku, a vicious beast, but Izuku delivered a merciless blow to the blond's face. Katsuki stumbled backwards, and Izuku charged, tackling him to the ground. Struggling with the wild blows of a cornered dog, Katsuki threw punch after punch, and sparked as many explosions as he could. But Izuku piledrived through it, smashing his face with a punch.

"How does it feel?" Izuku screamed, something cracking as his fist met Katsuki's nose.

"How does it feel to be all alone, to have no one there to save you?"

Another punch, and then another.

"How does it feel to be weak?!"

There was no more strategy. No more plan. Katsuki wasn't even resisting anymore, just limply taking it. All there was was a feral smile on his face, and blood on his knuckles. Every time a punch landed, there was a sickening wet crunch, and his fists had long since gone numb, the only feeling being the hot wetness that coated them.

"To be powerless?!"

Everything faded from Izuku's mind, leaving nothing but white hot rage and sickly, twisted joy. Nothing around him existed, not until the gym teacher's hands hastily dragged him off of a bloodied, unconscious Katsuki.

Only then did he see the proud smile on Himiko's face.

)ooOoo(

"Yes, yes, I understand, I-... Yes, I'm very sorry. It won't happen again, I assure you." Even through the door, Izuku could hear his mom sigh. "... Mitsuki, I'm so sorry. I hope he fully recovers in time for the entrance exams, I know he really wants to go to U.A."

She had been at this for almost an hour. And every second of it felt like an eternity.

Izuku shifted in his desk chair, unable to do anything except stare at the yellowish wall paint. His body felt like a broken machine, its gears and pistons cracked and misaligned. He was absolutely covered in scrapes and bruises, and one eye was sore and purple, so puffed up he could barely see out of it. He had two pieces of paper towel wadded up and stuffed up his nose, and half a dozen others tossed into the waste bin on the other side of his room. His knuckles were shredded, as though he had run them against an electric sander on maximum power, dark scabs having formed where the once was skin. And, more noticeable than anything else, was the massive bandaging across his chest and stomach, so tightly bound it was almost difficult to breath..

Everything hurt, even if he was sitting perfectly still. If he moved a muscle, invisible claws raked down his entire body, tearing at his tender wounds. And if he sat still, his burns groaned in pain, hot to the touch despite being lathered in cool gel-like medicine.

The doctor in the ER had told him it was a second degree burn. Apparently Katsuki had blown off several layers of skin with his attack, enough that they had to conduct an emergency skin graft on one part of his stomach after he was rushed to the hospital. And it got worse: the wound was already sensitive after the blast, but with so much adrenaline in his body, he had kept on fighting, resulting in even more damage. He had broken his body, pushing it so far past the point of no return that he might've actually done more damage to it than Katsuki had.

Three weeks. That's what the doctor said. It would take three weeks to heal, and in that time, he needed plenty of rest. Not that he would be going to school anyway. He had been suspended until late march.

He tried to take a deep breath, but even that hurt to do.

Look… look on the bright side, he would've recovered in time to do the entrance exam for U.A.!

… Like that mattered. Considering all this, it was unlikely they'd even look at his application. That's if they hadn't already thrown it out the moment they saw the word 'quirkless.'

For a moment, Izuku just stared at his desk, not even bothering to process what he was seeing. It felt pointless. He… he'd messed up. It was that simple. And now he was paying for it.

"Izuku?" Izuku glanced up to see his mom gently pushing the door open. He watches her enter, but he can't bring himself to make any particular expression. What was he supposed to do? Give a big smile? Maybe bow his head, refuse to look her in the eye? He didn't know. He didn't have any heart to put into it. He just felt…

Empty. Sore. Thoughtless, wordless, pointless.

So, he sat in silence, just staring as his mom approached.

"How are you feeling?" She spoke softly, reaching out raise his chin and inspect his eye. But Izuku flinched away, hissing in pain, before hesitantly letting her touch him.

How was he feeling? Physically, like he had been run over by a train. Emotionally… a lot of things, none of them good. He chewed on his lip, his eyes lingering on his mom's toes. "It hurts, but… n-nothing I don't deserve."

There were a few moments of quiet, not a sound except for the creaking of the ceiling fan. There was concern in his mom's dark eyes, but different than the usual sort. Normally, she seemed filled with worry, the dull and draining sort that stemmed from unpaid bills and an exhausting job. But the look in her eyes now, it was the sharp, very present sort of worry, as if she had just received a message threatening her and her son's very lives.

… Well, maybe she had, if Aunt Mitsuki decided to go to court. It was unlikely, but still a possibility.

Finally, Mom sighed, and let her hand drop to her side. "I heard from Mitsuki just now. About Katsuki."

Izuku nodded, and tried to swallow his building fear. Here came the verdict. "Yeah?"

"He should recover quickly. He has a broken nose, and…" Mom hesitated, her eyes drifting down and away. She opened her mouth, but for a few seconds, she couldn't find her words. "... Izuku, you gave him a concussion. A severe one. And the doctor's not sure how long it'll be until he fully recovers."

Izuku winced, clenching his fists. "I'm-... I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you need to apologize to." Inko scowled, speaking firmly but still unable to look her son in the eye.

He knew that. Of course he knew that. But that didn't make it any easier. He… he couldn't stand Katsuki. He just couldn't handle talking with him. For almost a year, every single time they interacted, it ended in a fight. And there was nothing he could do about that. The boy would track Izuku down nearly every day, trying over and over to start a fight. And Izuku's only real option was to curl up into a ball and hope that the blond wouldn't hurt him as much as usual.

Well, and fight back. And Izuku saw how that went.

After a few tense moments, Mom finally spoke up, quiet but firm. "Izuku, I'm upset with you. I am. I want to say 'I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed,' but I am angry."

The boy clenched his jaw, tears burning in his eyes. "I'm sorry."

"I know. But that doesn't change what you did." She said it with so much certainty, so much totality. And he didn't know what hurt more: the ice in her voice, or the fact that she was right. "I know you and Katsuki don't have the best relationship. You've changed since you were children. But what you did, it's unacceptable."

Izuku's changed. Not Katsuki. Looking back, he hasn't changed one bit, aside from getting bigger. It had been a decade, and at his core, Katsuki still acted like a child. That's what infuriated Izuku more than anything else. Since Katsuki was strong, since everyone admired his quirk, he had never needed to grow up. And Izuku was bearing the brunt of his childish tantrums and insecurity.

… What Izuku had done, would it have been unacceptable if Katsuki was a villain? You never saw anyone talking about how Toxic Gator got a concussion after All Might Detroit Smashed him. Because people didn't care about villains, not really. After the threat was disposed of and they got arrested, the public didn't care. All they cared about was showering heroes in praise.

It was sickening.

Izuku knew he had gone too far. But Katsuki had started it. Katsuki had been the one pushing for a fight, and Izuku had to defend himself and Himiko. Villains hurt people, and since Katsuki was trying so hard to hurt them…

No. No, don't think like that. Izuku might not like Katsuki, but he was no villain. He was just a student.

He took a deep breath, and slowly nodded. "... I understand."

Inko sighed, a weary and drawn out sound. "I hope so. Izuku, I love you. And I worry about you, every day. But things like this, they aren't okay. I hope I haven't raised you to think they are."

"You didn't." He responded quickly, but without a drop of strength. It was the answer she wanted to hear. It was the answer that he wanted to believe. But… he didn't know if it was the truthful answer.

Because, while he felt awful, the more he thought about it, the less he thought he did something wrong.

"Good." There was a pause as she looked for something else to say. "Look, honey… I'm going to bed. I'm not going to force you to do anything. But, at some point, I expect you to apologize to Katsuki. He deserves it."

With that, she stepped back, and left the room. She shot back one last glance before the door slid shut behind her. And Izuku didn't move from his chair, his eyes locked on nothing.

… What Katsuki deserved.

He deserved a lot of things. An apology wasn't one of them. But… He was raised to admit when he did something wrong. And that meant apologizing, even if he didn't want to.

But did he really do anything wrong? After all-

No, no, don't go there. Yes, he had done something wrong. He gave Katsuki a concussion, for All Might's sake. He had gone too far, and he had hurt someone. The reasons didn't matter beyond that. He wasn't a hero, Katsuki wasn't a villain, and the rules said no fighting. That's all there was to it.

… He just needed some sleep.

Izuku groaned in pain, his still and torn up limbs complaining as he pushed himself up and changed into his black pajamas. Turning off all of the lights in his room aside from his desk lamp, he crawled into his bed, too tired and sore to think about anything else.

And then the door creaked open.

"Izuuu-kun?" A little head popped through the door, with a wide smile and a small whisper.

"Himiko?" Painfully shuffling in his bed, Izuku glanced over to the door. The dim lighting of his desk lamp painted his room in an aura of dull orange light and swaths of inky shadows, pooling in the corners and partially concealing Himiko. Her pale blond hair was let down, falling down to her shoulders in stringy knots, and she wrapped herself in one of Mom's long sleeved T-shirts, thick enough to keep her warm in the chilly apartment.

"Good, you're still awake!" She spoke with hushed excitement, careful not to alert Mom. With a giggle that was uniquely 'Himiko,' she stepped through the door, casually making her way to Izuku's bed.

"What are you doing?" Izuku furrowed his eyebrows, watching her plop down on his bed and playfully kick her legs back and forth. This… wasn't normal. In the time that she had lived with them, Himiko had followed his mom's rules to a T: eat dinner with the family, do all of her home and housework, dozens of others. And key among these, one that Mom had left no uncertainty about, absolutely no being in Izuku's room after lights-out. Then again, this wasn't the first time Himiko had behaved oddly.

"I just wanna make sure my little Izu-kunis doing alright! You look so cute, too bad I wasn't the one who did it..." She smiled in her odd little way, scooting closer to him. She reached out to hug him, trying to snuggle close to Izuku's body, but…

He held a hand out, holding her at an arm's length.

There were… things Izuku had noticed about Himiko.

Patterns.

Habits.

Behaviours.

Izuku cared about her deeply. He couldn't deny that he genuinely cared about the girl. Even then, he noticed. They were small things. A drawing. A choice of words. A look in her eyes. Minor, each one able to be ignored on their own. But, like grains of sand in an hourglass, they added up.

And that glass was filling up rather quickly.

"Why did you do it?" He spoke slowly and steadily, an almost dark undertone to his voice.

"Hm?" Himiko glanced between the hand holding her back and Izuku's dark eyes, confusion on her face as she cocked her head. "Do what?"

Izuku tightened his lips, attempting to ignore the way his gut was tying itself in knots. He didn't want to say it. He didn't want to think about it. Not what happened, not why, none of it. But he had to know. "Himiko, you did that on purpose. We both know it. But… but I don't know why."

Her smile froze, and then died a bit. The cheerful light in her eyes receded back, overwhelmed by the room's dark shadows, and the arms she was still holding out gradually fell back to her sides. And, for a time, she didn't speak.

Even in the dark, he could see it in her eyes. The gears spinning, the thoughts flowing. But… there was no cold or calculating edge to it, not like he had seen before the fight. Her eyes, dark and yellow with feline slits for pupils, were warm. Genuine. Honest.

Ashamed.

Her eyes travelled downwards, eventually settling on Izuku's outstretched hand. With one hand, she began to gnaw on her thumbnail, and with the other, she clasped Izuku's, as though to seek comfort. "... I don't like seeing you get hurt. At least, not when you don't like it."

Izuku took a deep breath, letting their hands become interwoven as he lowered them to the bed. He didn't like that answer. It didn't justify it. But… It was an answer. And not a cruel one. "So you started a fight?"

"No." She shifted a bit, becoming more situated on the bed and letting her eye's drift towards the green ones of her partner. "I just let you fight back."

"Himiko, I'm-" Frowning, he tried his hardest to seem firm. Say it. Stand your ground. She needs to know. "... I'm angry at you."

"Hm?" All of the relaxation in the girl's body evaporated, her entire frame stiffening as though a stream of electricity had been run through her body. Her grip on his hand tightened, almost strangling, but Izuku simply stared back, equal parts firmness and concern in his eyes.

There were a lot of things that had gone wrong. Katsuki decided to pick a fight, Izuku had snapped, countless other things. In the end, both of the boys were heavily injured, And Izuku hated that he had done it.

But looking back, it was obvious that Himiko had put herself in harm's way to force Izuku's hand. And regardless of her reasons, that made him angry.

"I hurt him, Himiko. A lot." The words came out carefully, each one carefully selected. Izuku was shaking. Could Himiko feel it? What did she think- No, no, that doesn't matter. Hold steady. Speak clearly. "I got too caught up in the moment, in my anger, and I let myself do something horrible. I messed up."

Himiko took a moment, but she finally responded, so quiet that she seemed to be tiptoeing with her words. "I don't think you did."

"Yes I did." He spoke with certainty, not daring to look away from Himiko. He… he didn't know what he expected her to say. He wasn't sure if he expected her to say anything. But he wanted to show her how wrong it was, how ashamed he was. Maybe not so that she could understand, but so… so that he could prove it to himself. Prove that he knew it was wrong. Prove that he hadn't enjoyed it. "It's against the rules to fight. It's that simple. And while I wasn't the one looking for a fight, the fact of the matter is that I got in one. And not only that, I took it too far. You saw the state he was in. These rules exist to make sure people don't get hurt, and when it mattered, I just… ignored them."

"... You ignored them for a reason." A puny excuse, one that Izuku had long since thrown out. That didn't matter. It didn't matter when he thought about it, and… and it didn't matter when Himiko said it.

"Not a good one." He frowned, not letting himself think about how tightly she was clinging to his hand. What mattered was that people got hurt, and he had to stand firm in that. A true hero needed morals, even if modern ones had none.

He loved Himiko.

Izuku knew it, and he would not change that. But sometimes, a line had to be drawn, both for her, and for himself. He and Himiko were good people. And Izuku was going to keep it that way.

If they just went around saying such-and-such reason made it okay to hurt people, eventually they'd be doing just as much evil as villains and heroes. There were rules, laws in place. Ones that had to be followed. And while they had their flaws, they could be improved, and above all, they had to be followed. That was Izuku's line, and the one that he had ignored today.

There was a brief stretch of total silence, with not even wind outside to fill the tense vacuum. But then, as if she could read his mind, Himiko posed a question. "... Izu-kun, did the rules protect you?"

"Huh?" Izuku furrowed his eyebrows, attempting to compute the jump in subject.

"You said that the rules exist to make sure people don't get hurt." She spoke softly, her voice smooth and calm. "Did they protect you?"

"... No." He couldn't say yes. He couldn't lie that blatantly. Izuku coughed, glancing at his lap. The school and its rules didn't protect him. Or, at least, not as much as they protected Katsuki.

"Why?" Himiko cooed, her eyes hiding something in their shadows, and sets her hand on his leg.

"Because people were ignoring them." He tensed up, both at the thought and at the physical contact. She knew why. He had told her before, and he could already see where this was headed. He didn't want to think like that. He didn't want to give up what little faith he had.

"Izu-kun, rules are important when they protect you." Her hand gradually moved up, eventually reaching his bandaged torso, and she leaned forward, their faces so close that he could feel her breathing. "But right now, they're not."

Izuku scrunched up his face, refusing to look her in the eyes. "That isn't an excuse for me to hurt people!"

"But it is a reason to protect yourself." She scooted closer, completely closing the distance between them. He wanted to push her away. He wanted to tell her no, tell her that it wasn't alright. That none of this was alright. But he couldn't do it, he couldn't tell her no.

"... Izu-kun, if it had just been me and Mr. Spikey, who would the school have blamed?"

The question was so simple. He didn't even have to think about it. After having seen the principal every other day for the past few months, Izuku practically had the man's normal speech memorized. And he would know each and every lie in it, every fake little detail.

"... You. Th-they would want to make sure he had a clean record." The man wanted a student in U.A.. And Katsuki was his bet.

"Mm-hm." Himiko nodded solemnly, leading Izuku step by step. "So, who was there to protect me?"

This was the part Izuku hated to say.

"No one."

No one was there to help her. The teachers, the other students, the school, they all sided with Katsuki. They always did. And that meant Himiko, just like Izuku, would be all alone.

Himiko's dark expression shifted, an almost coy smile growing on her face. "Nope."

"Huh?" He glanced up, suddenly confused.

"Izu-kun, you were there for me." Himiko finally closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around him in a loving hug. "And, if it had been anyone else, I'm sure you would've been there for them too. Because that's just who you are."

Izuku froze, unsure what to do as the girl clung to him.

Don't put it that way. Don't make what he did seem altruistic or goodhearted. It wasn't. All it was- He had just moved! He wasn't thinking about right and wrong when he had done it. He just-

He saw her in trouble.

And his body did the rest.

Himiko snuggled her face into his chest, completely ignoring his stiffness as he ran a hand through his hair. And she spoke kindly, her voice filled with compassion and empathy. "Izu-kun, some people have been abandoned. You. Me. So many others. And no hero protects them. Society passed them by, and they're left alone, trampled under the heels of the strong. And then… and then there's you. You care. Not just about some, but about everyone. And, if you see someone in trouble, you help them. You defend them, no matter what the consequences for you are. And that's what you did today."

That still wasn't right! "But I was acting on anger-"

"What were you angry at?" She cut him off, lazily looking up at him.

"What?"

"What were you angry at?" Casually curling a strand of his hair around her finger, she repeated the question. So calmly, so cooly, as though she wasn't asking why he had beat a kid half to death.

"... The way he was treating you. The fact that no one was stopping him. The fact that he wouldn't be punished." And so many more. Uncountably many reasons. It was all just so messed up, and he struggled to keep his voice steady as he spoke.

"And being angry about that was wrong?" Himiko prodded further, systematically tearing apart the boundaries that encased Izuku's mind.

"... No." The boy mumbled, most of the fight having drained out of him. All he could do was say the same things over and over in spite of mounting evidence. "But I still shouldn't have used violence…"

"... Izu-kun, do you remember what I told you, back when we started training?"

"Huh? Uh, what?" That could've been a lot of things. It had been months since then, and he had learned quite a bit from her in that time.

Himiko's face had no hint of a smile, no trace of her humor or optimism. Her eyes were cold, the slits having become so thin and intense that they seemed like those of a heartless reptile instead of a playful cat. And the frown on her face, it communicated something beyond seriousness.

Himiko was speaking from the core of her being, and Izuku was going to listen.

"When a villain attacks someone, a hero has to protect that person, even if it means hurting the villain."

There was no way to deny that. It was true, accepted fact. And that idea left a deathly silence in his mind.

Villains hurt people. That's what made them villains. And heroes protected people. That's what made them heroes.

But often, 'heroes' hurt people for senseless reasons, and the law made sure they went unpunished.

Sometimes, the system was wrong. Laws didn't work, and heroes did evil. What was Izuku supposed to do?

According to Himiko, whatever it took.

And what scared him was that he agreed.

"... Do-" Izuku's voice caught, his entire body trembling. "Do you think there was any other way to stop him?"

"Do you?"

"... No." Izuku knew that. He just hoped Himiko might tell him otherwise. "The moment he started that fight, we were already going to get punished. And… and it's just not right!"

Himiko nodded, sad sympathy in her eyes. "You did the right thing."

"No I didn't." Izuku grimaced, clenching his jaw. "Not the right thing. Just the least wrong thing."

"Sometimes, that's all we can do." There was a distinct sadness in her eyes, as though she was remembering something. But, before Izuku could ask, she smiled, hugging him tighter. "… So, do you want to keep telling me about those quirk statistics?"

Izuku took a moment to process the request, but then he laughed, finally hugging her back.

"Yeah, sure."

Despite the rules his mom had put in place, Izuku had quite a few bite marks hidden amongst his wounds the next morning.

A/N: Hey everyone, back a bit early this time! I know this chapter is a bit shorter than usual, but I thought I might round out that cliffhanger I left for you before school starts! Hopefully this broke my "wait a month before posting again" funk, because it was driving me nuts. Things should get rolling on a schedule again now. To those of you hoping Izuku was going to muder Bakugo, no, be patient.

With only the worst of intentions,

Imp the Nefarious

FFN:

Glover64: Hey, congratulations, you wrote my 200th comment! I thought I'd tell you. Don't get overexcited, though; Izuku, Himiko, the Augur, not even the league; none of them are prepared for what I have in store.

Stone125: Fast enough for ya? I'll try to not make you wait a ridiculously long time for new chapters anymore.

YeetusSkeetus: Oh wow, thank you for commenting then! I myself have only commented, like… ten times? Maybe. I love reading on this site, but I'm terrible at commenting. I should probably work on that.