Once Shirou had made sure that his guests were relatively settled in and didn't have any pressing needs to attend to, he'd muttered something about getting himself that shower and disappeared. That left Sakura and Rin sitting together across the table, feeling a little awkward.

Or, well, Rin was feeling a little awkward. If Sakura was uncomfortable — and she probably was — then she was hiding it much better. A clock ticked. Neither of them spoke, neither able to look the other in the eye.

The silence stretched for what felt like days. What am I supposed to say to her? Sakura was probably thinking the same things. Wondering if Rin was going to try to kill her again, or thinking about how much Rin must hate her. That… made her a little sad. She didn't hate Sakura. It was easier to pretend that she did, but… She couldn't. No matter how hard she tried.

The silence was like a physical thing pressing on Rin's eardrums.

This was agonizing. "I'm sorry I-" they both said at the same time, then stopped. "What were you going to say?" Rin asked, while Sakura frantically waved her hands and stuttered, "I-I didn't mean to interrupt!"

What are we doing? I'm not a stuttering schoolgirl on a date. Stop acting like a fool, Rin thought dourly. Her cheeks burned, and she looked away. "I'm sorry I tried to kill you," she mumbled. Ugh. Pathetic.

Sakura frowned, looking uncomfortable. "I'm sorry, Tohsaka-senpai, but I couldn't hear you…" She seemed too nervous to be making fun of Rin, but pretending that she was made it a little easier. A touch of anger always helped her say what she needed to.

Rin crossed her arms over her chest, adamantly refusing to look directly at her— at Sakura. "I said, I'm sorry I wanted to convince Shirou to kill you."

"Oh," Sakura said softly. Rin chanced another glance, and saw her tracing a pattern on the table with her index finger. "It's okay."

"Is it?" she asked skeptically. She didn't know if she'd let bygones be bygones so quickly, not for something as cold as what Rin had tried to do, so she studied Sakura's face intently.

Sakura nodded, and Rin actually believed her. There was something guileless about that wide-eyed look of sincerity. She looks like she belongs in a Ghibli movie. How does she do that? "It is. I understand. I'm a Magus too, Tohsaka-senpai. I mean, I'm not as good as you are, but I think that part was probably the same for both of us. Our fath… I mean, Tokiomi was that kind of man."

The name sent a pang of… something through her. Emotions she could neither identify nor understand bouncing around her gut. "Ruthless?" Rin said offhandedly. When was the last time I heard his name said out loud?

Sakura nodded again. It was easier than verbal assent, Rin figured. Her feelings toward Tokiomi had to be even more complicated than Rin's own. Rin hadn't been the one who had been sold off like cattle.

"He was what his father made him," Rin said thoughtfully. "Who was what his father made him. It's what being a Magus has always been. Selfish and… well, ruthless."

"And I'm what my grandfather made me," Sakura said with a sad smile.

"And that's why I'm not angry," Rin said seriously. Sakura recoiled, more out of surprise than anything else, Rin figured, but she made herself look into the other girl's eye so that she would know Rin meant it. "You said it yourself, Sakura. We're Magi. This is how we're supposed to live. Shirou doesn't understand that, because his father was… not an official Magus, but we do. We did what we thought we had to do."

"But I could have hurt you," Sakura protested.

I've never met Zouken Matou, but I know enough to know that these aren't his words coming out of your mouth, Sakura. The fact that you feel guilt at all means he didn't change you too much from the little sister I had once. Rin couldn't help the rueful smile that touched her lips. "And I wanted to hurt you. But we're both alive, right? So let's put it behind us. Water under the bridge."

"But-" Sakura started to protest again, but Rin shook her head firmly, and she quieted.

"Listen, if I have to keep thinking about it, it's just going to be putting more flab on my mind," she said. "I forgive you for coming to attack me if you forgive me for wanting to kill you, as another Master."

Sakura actually giggled a little, though Rin couldn't imagine what she'd said that was so funny. "Okay, Tohsaka-senpai. I forgive you."

They sat in silence for a few moments. This one felt less oppressive than the last.

"What I'm worried about," Rin said, "is Shirou. Like I said, I don't think he'll understand any of this. I don't regret what I did, but he'll never trust me again." It was… unpleasant how uncomfortable that thought was. You're just using him, aren't you? That thought got harder and harder to take seriously every time she had it.

Sakura shook her head. "No, that's not true! Senpai won't ever understand, you're right about that. But," she said, and there was a warmth to her smile that Rin only ever saw when Sakura was near him. "He's a good person. He's… better than either of us. He'll forgive you, Tohsaka-senpai, because he wants to believe in people. Even if it might get him hurt, he always wants to see the best in others."

"That's stupid," Rin said, but there wasn't any fire in it.

Sakura seemed to pick up on that, because her delicate smile didn't falter. "I don't think so," she said softly. "I think it's admirable. Having faith in people is hard, but he does it so easily."

It was then that Rin consciously noticed that Sakura was still wearing Shirou's ratty, torn, dirty jacket. It hung loose on her arms and around her waist, making her look even younger and more fragile than she was, and the black of the material cast her skin in an even paler light. And yet… Whether she really remembered it was there or not, she seemed to be drawing strength from it. Rin didn't have the heart to draw attention to how nasty it was. "You really do care about him, don't you?" Rin asked wonderingly.

With a tiny nod, Sakura's smile grew wistful. "I do. Senpai is a good man." Her gaze fixed on a point in the air just over Rin's shoulder. Rin wondered if she'd gone somewhere else.

Yeah, if you understood what I was asking, I'll eat my pendant. "He cares about you too, you know." She looked away, feeling weirdly bashful.

Sakura blinked.

"It's not like I was ever close to him or anything before this, but I didn't think he could get as angry as he did when he thought you were in danger." She rested her hand on her chin, idly watching the direction Shirou had left. "Not even when people wanted to kill him."

"I don't know why he'd worry about me so much," Sakura mumbled, but she sounded pleased.

Rin wondered what it would feel like to have someone try so hard to protect you, for no other reason than that they wanted to. It wasn't a painful thought, nor a melancholic one. It was simply an idle curiosity. "I think you probably do know," she said evenly. "You're just afraid to admit it."

"Tohsaka-senpai, I don't know what that means either," Sakura said, and she didn't sound like she was feigning her confusion. "Afraid to admit what?"

Rin laughed softly, glancing back at her wide-eyed counterpart. "Even a pair as thick-headed as you two will figure it out eventually."

Sakura looked so innocently puzzled that Rin had to cover her own mouth to stifle further laughter.

A man's bath was supposed to be his sanctuary. When you locked the door and drew the water and laid back, the outside world was supposed to leave you be for a little while; it was a chance to relax and unwind, completely alone in a way you couldn't usually find.

"Contractor."

Apparently, that didn't apply to Servants.

Assassin's voice came just as Shirou had allowed his eyes to drift closed, jolting him out of what had promised to be a peaceful reprieve. He groaned, moving to cover himself as he sat up. "Why are you doing this to me? Were baths not private where you come from? Because when we lock the door, that's usually what we want."

"I cannot see thee. Thy dignity remains intact."

Shirou had the sudden, visceral image of Assassin hunched over in the corner of the bathroom, sheepishly covering his eyes with his massive gauntleted hands. That probably wasn't what Assassin was actually doing, but picturing it defused some of his irritation. "You didn't answer my question."

"We must speak in private. Thy compatriots are speaking in the main room."

"My…." Shirou shook his head. "They're getting along, right? Nobody's trying to kill each other?" This is surreal.

"They were sitting in silence when I left them. I did not sense any hostile intent."

"Oh, well, that's good," Shirou said. It really was a genuine relief. He'd been worried about leaving them alone together, but it sounded like things were fine, if a little awkward.

"I must speak to thee regarding Sakura Matou."

"Again?" Shirou couldn't keep the exasperation from his voice. "I thought we settled this. You're not touching her."

"I come to convince thee not. As I said, I do not believe thee to be capable of such a choice."

Shirou sank down into the water, glowering in the voice's direction. He couldn't imagine what would be so important, if not that. "Then why?"

"I come to acknowledge the complexity of the situation. When feelings such as thine are involved, clear-headed judgement becomes even more difficult. I have long since left my humanity behind, but I am not so far removed from what I once was that I no longer understand human nature."

"And what does that mean?" That was a lot of complicated words, but it sounded like a roundabout way of calling him a fool, and he had enough of that from Rin and Archer.

What Assassin said rocked him back in surprise; he never would have thought Assassin capable of such humility. "It means that I apologize for my callousness," he said simply. "It was not the correct way to reach thee; I underestimated the bond that Sakura Matou and thee share."

Did Assassin just... apologize to me? Shirou thought blankly. He was having a hard time wrapping his mind around that one. "Does that mean that you don't want to kill her anymore?"

Assassin sighed, and it was a more tired sound than Shirou had yet heard from his Servant. "I do not relish death, Contractor. I do not kill because I enjoy it, nor do I kill for petty dislike."

"Then what?" Shirou asked, leaning over the side of the tub, crossing his arms under his chin on the rim. "What does that leave?"

"I do not believe Sakura Matou is a bad person. I would like thee to understand this. She does not deserve punishment."

"Okay," Shirou said, not really understanding where this was going, but feeling worry curl around his stomach anyway.

"She deserves mercy," Assassin said, and while Shirou would never call that booming voice gentle, there was a melancholy to it that was also very new. "This… darkness within her. Since our conversation, I have spent a great deal of time gazing into it. It is not of Sakura Matou."

"That's good, right?" It was a little bit of a relief to hear, even if he was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.

"It is a cancer," Assassin said slowly. Shirou had the sense that the Servant was doing his best to be tactful, something that didn't seem to come naturally. "Though a more correct analogy might be a kind of dormant plague, or an amalgamation of untethered curses. It will devour her, and when she is consumed, she will be something that is no longer the Sakura Matou that thee knows. When that happens, Contractor, she will not be the only one who faces a cruel death from its hands. I do not know the identity of this agent of rot, but I sense its malevolence. It will use her to kill and destroy on as grand a scale as it can manage."

"So you think killing her is a mercy?" Shirou asked bitterly. His vision wavered slightly; lightheaded with heat from the bath and anger and fear. "You think that she needs to die for the good of the many."

"I will not celebrate her death. I will not consider it a great victory, nor would I expect thou to see it as such. But I believe that her early death would save a great many lives."

"That's bullshit," Shirou said quietly. There was silence in the bathroom for a long few seconds, save for the quiet drip of water from the leaky faucet. "Assassin, I respect you. I don't understand you, but I think you're a good person, deep down, and I don't think you're lying to me. But that's bullshit."

The silence stretched painfully.

"You're telling me there's a rot in her. You're telling me that she'll kill people. But you can't tell me what it is, or how it will kill people, or even how you know." Rage bubbled deep in his chest, but he kept his voice as level as possible. Assassin could see that, he was sure. "You want me to take on faith that my best friend is going to… what, self-destruct?"

"Faith-"

"I heard your speech, Assassin," he said, forcing himself to ignore the cold fear that he was overstepping himself in a way that would soon be bad for his health, "and I know what you're going to say. Yeah, you're right, faith is important. And I do have faith. I have faith in her." He kept going, barreling forward so that the fear wouldn't catch him. "She won't let herself hurt anyone. She would never do that. But if this thing is so bad that you think killing her would be saving her, then fine. I'm sure you're right, if it gets to that point. But I think you've been an assassin for so long that you've forgotten that there are other ways than killing people to help someone. You said yourself that you don't know much about magic. That's fine, I don't either! But if neither of us do, then that's something we should…" He grasped for words, running out of steam. "Should look into. Rin's here, and she's an amazing Magus! We could ask her for help! We can't kill her without trying to find a way to save her, Assassin. We can't. I won't let you." He was breathing heavily; had he really gotten that heated?

More to the point, was Assassin about to cut his head off? He didn't know if he could use a Command Seal in time to stop that from happening.

Drip.

Drip.

Drip.

"You are very different from the last man I called Contractor," Assassin said in a neutral voice.

Shirou sighed, sinking down until his face was all that was above water. Assassin's voice caused a strange vibration underwater. "I'm sorry I'm not the Master you want me to be, but I won't compromise like that. Even if it wasn't Sakura we were talking about, I wouldn't. Not even as a mercy. Besides, I thought we settled this."

"The circumstances have changed."

"Oh, really," Shirou mumbled. "How did they change?"

"When Sakura Matou arrived at the Tohsaka estate yesterday, the darkness was a stain on her soul, and nothing more," Assassin said. "As I observed her on the journey here, I began to notice something more. There was movement, almost imperceptible to even my senses, that I do not believe was present before."

Shirou grit his teeth, but it was fear more than anger that had seized him. "And what does that mean?"

"The dreaming eye twitches, though the body knows not what it sees. The sleeper stirs. Though it has not yet come to consciousness, the darkness has begun to awaken. Whatever ends of savage destruction are encoded in its nature… Contractor. The fuse has been lit."

There was half an hour until Rin and Senpai had to leave, and the three of them each sat on a different side of the table. Senpai had made tea and dug out a ratty old deck of cards, declaring that even though they were at war, they needed to be able to relax too. Sakura had smiled and gone along with him, but Rin had taken more convincing.

"Come on, Tohsaka," Senpai had said, shuffling the deck more deftly than Sakura had ever seen him do before. "Is fighting and killing the only thing you want to think about? Doesn't that get boring?"

Now they were playing Old Maid, because it turned out Rin didn't actually know very many card games, and they didn't have the time to teach her something more complicated. The game wasn't the point; Sakura understood that. This was about bonding between allies.

"I don't know about the name," Rin grumbled, taking a card from Sakura and groaning when it didn't make a pair with any of the ones in her hand. "What's wrong with being an old maid?"

"Well," Sakura said with a smile. "If a Magi is an old maid, I suppose they wouldn't have anyone to pass their magic crest to, and their bloodline would fade."

Rin made a "hmmm" sound as she offered her hand to Senpai.

"I don't think Magi invented this game," he said doubtfully, setting a pair of threes face-up on the table. "I think it's just a name."

"Besides," Sakura said. "You won't be an old maid, Tohsaka-senpai. I'm sure soon you'll be fighting suitors off with a broom." She took a careful sip of her steaming tea and sighed contentedly. It was easy to pretend this was normal, even if so many things pointed clearly to it being anything but.

"I already am," she said with a shrug. "It was a hypothetical objection."

"Tohsaka, you have suitors?" Senpai asked. "Is that normal for Magi?"

Rin nodded. "It's very normal. As the head of such a prestigious family with a powerful magic crest, it would be considered a great honor for any family to have a second son or daughter join our bloodline to theirs."

Senpai shook his head as Sakura took a card. "Daughter? I thought you had to be able to have a kid to pass down the crest or whatever."

Sakura looked away, her face getting warm, while Rin burst into laughter. "Really, Shirou? We're Magi. There are a lot of ways to make that kind of thing happen."

Senpai blinked, confused, and Sakura couldn't quite suppress the giggle that resulted. "Senpai," she said by way of rescue, "how are you feeling? You seem more energetic today."

He took a second to respond, because rapid changes in subjects always seemed to confuse him a little. It was kind of cute how he needed to change gears like that. "Yeah, I'm feeling a lot better," he said, flexing his arm to demonstrate. She smiled, and he grinned back. "I haven't had to use Assassin in a while, so I think I'm recovering."

"I'm glad," she said, flexing her own arm in return, skinny and weak though it was. "You seemed like you were getting sick, so I'm glad you're healing."

At the word "sick," something in his expression changed. A distant cloud passing over the sun, or something like it. Not enough to block it out completely, but enough to cast a shadow. A moment later, it was gone, but it lingered in her memory. "Nah, I'm not sick," he said nonchalantly. The order had passed to him while they were flexing like dummies, and he took another card. "It's just exhausting, you know? It kind of feels like how you feel after you run too many miles."

"That could also be all the running we did," Rin said blandly.

"That's true," he replied with a nod. "We did run a lot. I guess I'm just healing."

Worry began to flourish in her heart, and she forced it down. There would be time for worry later, she thought. She didn't want to ruin this. She desperately did not want to ruin this. "I don't run a lot, but I feel that way when I spend too long shooting," she said, wiggling her arm to demonstrate. "Do you feel rubbery, Senpai?"

"Kind of, yeah," he said. "Maybe it's the same principle?"

"Speaking of which," Rin said, "I think I've figured out a way to boost your magical capacity. It won't be much more than a stopgap, but if you have more to give, it might reduce the pain, or even buy you time without pain." She took a card and groaned. Another card that wasn't a pair.

Senpai was holding the joker. Sakura had figured out how to tell fairly early. Since the cards were so old and beaten up, the joker card had a tiny speck of dust in the corner, so she could pick it out pretty easily. She didn't think anyone else had noticed. The problem with this game was that in Old Maid, there wasn't really a winner. There was just a person, stuck with the card no one wants at the end, who loses. She tried her hardest not to see that as a metaphor, but it was something that itched at the back of her mind.

When her turn came, she took the joker.

"Oh, that's great, Tohsaka," Senpai said brightly, suddenly distracted. "Is that something we can do now?"

She shook her head. "Nah, I've still got a couple preparations I need to make. We'll get that done tonight, okay?"

"Um, Tohsaka-senpai," Sakura said timidly. "What kind of thing are you planning?"

"Don't make it sound so sinister." Rin seemed like half her brain was thinking about something else entirely, and Sakura wondered what it was that was so much more important. That's not fair, she chided herself. "Basically, I think Shirou's switch is busted, so we're going to jumpstart it."

Senpai was back to looking confused, and it was so cute that Sakura had a sudden, overwhelming urge to touch his cheek. She valiantly resisted.

"What's a switch? Like a light switch?"

"No, it's-" Rin stopped with a sigh. "Wow, you really didn't learn anything about magic other than how to kill yourself with it, huh? Your teacher keeps finding new and impressive new ways to disappoint me."

"Hey-" Senpai started, but Rin didn't give him a chance.

"So your technique sucks because you're trying to create a magic circuit from scratch every time you do magic. That's like tearing all the muscles in your arm at once to try to get stronger, and it's a miracle that you haven't burned yourself out doing it." She tapped the table with one finger. "You're supposed to… toggle them on and off, basically, and do do that you need to have something that we call a switch."

"Only someone with a switch is capable of magic," Sakura added. Rin looked a little grouchy at being interrupted, but Sakura defused her irritation with a gentle smile. "It's what makes a person a mage or not."

"Right," Rin said. "Anyway, the point is, you need to be able to open your circuits enough to be able to supply Assassin. As it is right now, it's like when you block most of a hose, and what comes out is messy and sprays all over the place. You already don't have enough to give, but that makes the system especially inefficient, which makes Assassin's physical form try to draw even more out. It's a feedback loop, every time he manifests."

Senpai looked like they were speaking Greek. "So if I have this switch thing, I'll be able to be a real Master?"

Rin sighed again. "You already are a real Master. But it'll help you to not be so incompetent and useless. Assassin should be able to fight a little bit, at least."

"Oh," Senpai said. "That's good."

"But I've never heard of opening one manually," Sakura said. "How are you going to do that?"

Rin smirked. "I've got an idea or two, but like I said, I need more prep time. It's been done before, but it usually needs to be tailored to the person being treated."

"Rin," Archer's voice said, materializing behind his master. "I hate to interrupt when you're trying to scare Shirou, but it's no fun if he's too thick to be afraid. Also, it's time to leave."

"Go to hell," Senpai mumbled. Sakura patted his arm, sympathetic.

She didn't know how to feel about Archer. Since she'd arrived at Rin's house the day before, Archer had mostly made a big show of ignoring her presence. Assassin did a similar thing, rarely speaking in her presence at all, but he wasn't so… pointed about it. Sakura wasn't sure how to take that, but it was probably disapproval at her involvement. She suspected Archer had probably wanted her dead, too.

The list of people for whom that was true was getting pretty long.

The pocketwatch's chain jingled as Rin dug it out of her pocket. "Alright," she said once she'd had a moment to check it, "Archer's right. If we leave now, we should get there right around midday. You ready, Shirou?"

Senpai tossed his cards down on the table, face up. "Yeah," he said, his face set into something determined and serious. "I am. Assassin?"

"I am ready to depart."

Sakura jumped every time he spoke, and it was getting embarrassing.

Rin nodded, then pushed herself to her feet and walked out the door without another word, Archer on her heels. Senpai stood as well, then held out his hand. Sakura swallowed nervously. The lead weights were back in her gut, and she wasn't so sure she'd stay buoyant for long. Cautiously, she placed her hand in his, and he pulled her to her feet.

Sakura didn't break the contact. His hand was big and rough and strong; hers was so small and smooth, with only the callouses that regular archery practice had given her. It disappeared into his. Her mind was deliberately blank, because at the moment anything that counted as a real thought would probably hurt, so she didn't let herself have any. Senpai's fingers slackened, expecting her to let go.

She didn't.

He frowned at her, and she wanted to flinch, but she knew that look. It wasn't anger, and it wasn't discomfort. It was concern. He was worried about her. She should let go now, so that he would know that she was okay, and he'd go back to smiling.

She didn't.

"Sakura?" he said softly. Her eyes fastened to his, and something that wasn't entirely fear sent tingles through her fingertips. Something heavy weighed his face down, making him look older than he was. Her heart ached with it, and it ached with the knowledge that whatever was hurting him, it was probably her.

"Senpai…?" Her voice was barely a whisper.

His mouth opened, but he didn't seem to know how to say whatever he was thinking, so he closed it again. His eyes slid away from her, like he couldn't bear to look at her, then met hers again. A smile overtook him with eyes full to bursting with worry, and before she could even think to smile back, he'd wrapped his arms around her in a bone-crushing hug. At first, her only response was a startled squeak and a rigid body, her mind now blank for an entirely different reason. Then, slowly, haltingly, ever so gingerly, she touched his arms; as hard as he was hugging her, his lean muscle had always suggested that he could break her in two, if he wanted. But he never would, she thought distantly, and then her arms were around him, too, as though her hands had been drawn to his back by something as inexorable as magnetism on iron.

She didn't know how long they stood like that; her sense of time had shorted out around the same moment that her ability to form a coherent thought had. Shirou whispered so quietly that even like this, with her face buried in his chest, she could barely make out the words. It sounded something like, "I won't let it change you," and she couldn't begin to fathom what he meant by that, especially compromised as she was. The Grail War? He wouldn't let the Grail War change her? But then she felt his scratchy blue-and-white shirt on her cheek, and her eyes closed, and she let his warmth envelop her again.

Is this what it feels like to be safe…?

The thought was puzzling and obvious at the same time; but she didn't stop to question it. She didn't want this to end, and she wasn't even thinking about how selfish that must be. That was a marvel in itself.

When he pulled back, it was all at once, like she'd given him a particularly nasty static shock. She couldn't help but take a nervous step back, startled again by his sudden movement, pressing her hands to the center of her chest. She wondered, dazedly, if her own cheeks were as red as his were.

"Sorry," he mumbled, rubbing awkwardly at his hair as though she'd somehow messed it up. "I don't know why I…"

"I-it's okay!" she stammered, not able to meet his eyes any more than he could hers. "I don't um, it was okay, I'm okay." He hugged the words out of me, she thought, and had to force away the urge to laugh.

Neither of them knew what to do. Neither of them knew what to say.

"Um," Sakura said, still not looking at him. "You should probably, uh, Tohsaka-senpai might get mad if you take too long…"

Senpai nodded vigorously, and stepped past her to walk to the door. Sakura's broken mind tried to contextualize what had just happened as she followed him out the door, but that was proving to be much harder than it should have been. In all the time they'd been friends, she'd hugged him maybe twice; she didn't think he'd ever hugged her first.

What did that mean?

And even if it was tempered by dread… why had it made her so happy?

You really do care about him, don't you? Rin asked again in her head.

I do, she'd said.

Oh.

Oh, no.

I had a blast at Momocon this weekend! I spent way too much money on posters and a Jalter nendoroid and a Sakura keychain, which seemed to be literally the only piece of Sakura merch on the entire floor, and other various assorted garbage that I love.

Thanks for reading and reviewing and sharing! c:

Next chapter: Noble Phantom