FIFTEEN of THIRTY-TWO
*NOTE – Hello everybody, it's TheManFromMudos here. Now, I know what you're all thinking. 'Man, how dare you leave us on a juicy cliffhanger like that for six whole months! Where the hell have you been?' And I guess I do owe you a decent explanation. You see, over the last six months, I've done quite a lot of thinking, particularly about this very story. About the whole Xena trilogy, as a matter of fact. And the truth is, for quite a long time, I didn't know if I could carry on writing it. I didn't know if I was really interested in the unusual subject matter of an Alien-themed sci-fi romance novella anymore. Then I spent a long time looking at the bigger picture, thinking about how far we've come with Matthew and Xena, unsure if I really wanted to finish their tale. It was a difficult decision, but after much deliberation, I came to this conclusion: Yes. Yes, I do want to finish Matthew and Xena's journey. Before I 'close the book' on these characters, so to speak, I must first finish writing it. They deserve to get their ending, as do you, the reader. So let's do it! Let's finish the story, starting today. Please read on, and as always, enjoy. It's 'Xavier'. THANK YOU!*
For several moments, no-one spoke a word. I gazed, dumbfounded, at Xena, who glared coldly at Katie, who in turn glanced guiltily at me. I tried to think of something, anything, to say, though in these situations, there was seldom anything one could say which wouldn't simply make things worse. Nevertheless, I would try. If only to break the long and suffocating silence that engulfed us all at that very moment, I would try to say something.
"Xena…" I said hesitantly, my voice barely more than a whisper. She looked away in disgust, refusing to even acknowledge that I was speaking. I looked at Katie, who appeared as though she was about to speak herself. I simply shook my head, knowing full well that it was a very bad idea for her to even attempt to talk to Xena at this moment in time. For a few more moments, she stood silently in the doorway, unsure of how to react. Then, finally, she looked at me. Just for a second, and with an expression of utter disappointment. And with that, she walked away.
"Xena, wait." I tried again, heading towards the door to follow her out of the room.
"Matthew?" I heard Katie whisper with regret. "I'm sorry." I chose to ignore this remark, and kept on walking until I was out into the hallway.
"Do you want me to help?" She continued. I stopped dead in my tracks. I wanted to shout at her right now, I really did. As if Xena hadn't already had her suspicions about the two of us, she'd just walked in at the worst possible moment and taken what she saw completely out of context. Did Katie honestly think that being by my side as I explained to Xena that there was nothing going on between the two of us was a particularly bright idea?
"I think you've helped enough." I said calmly, though my voice was laced with anger. I refused to even turn to look at her as I spoke, and instead walked silently away. This was not the time to argue with her, and I knew that perfectly well. Xena was owed an explanation. Not from Katie, but from me. I had to tell her with my own lips exactly what was going on between me and Katie: nothing. And I had to make her believe it.
I soon found Xena in our bedroom, gazing silently out of the window, though what she was gazing at was beyond me. It was strange, the way she behaved. Like she could see perfectly. I suppose she could, in a way, but not the way we do. All those colours and shapes, the rolling fields and mighty hills. I could see them, and if you were there, you could have seen them. But what did she see? What had she seen when she walked in on me and Katie just a few minutes ago? To walk into a room and know that something was wrong, without even seeing it. How did that feel?
"Xena?" I mumbled, coyly stepping into the room and closing the door behind me. She simply sighed, refusing to even acknowledge my presence. I stepped further into the room, sitting down on the bed near where she stood. I shuffled my feet nervously, trying to think of something to say.
"Nice view, isn't it?" I said quietly, almost immediately hating myself for it. I might as well have asked her about the weather. She sighed again, this time shaking her slowly. I knew I was just dancing around the issue. It was difficult to know where to begin. But I had to try. And I would.
"Xena, please." I continued, my voice sincere, but shaky. "You have to listen to me." But she didn't. She didn't have to listen, and she didn't want to.
"Look, what you saw in there… well, what happened," I told her calmly, "It wasn't what you think." She glanced back at me with disdain, and had every right to, in all honesty. I just wanted her to listen. I wanted her to understand that I hadn't betrayed her trust, that it was a misunderstanding.
"Katie and I…" I said hesitantly, not knowing how to word any of it. "We were… well, yes, we were hugging." She let out a low growl at this.
"Xena…" I tried again. This time, she turned to face me and screeched. She was too angry right now to listen to reason, but I had to keep trying.
"Alright, I'm sorry!" I exclaimed, my voice beginning to tremble. "But Xena, please will you listen?" She stared down at the floor for a moment, as if finally considering my plea. Then, she drew the curtain and came over to the bed, where she sat down beside me in silence. She still refused to look at me, but at least we were making some progress. Now, I had to explain to her that she had completely the wrong idea about me and Katie.
"You know you still mean just as much to me now as you did when we first met?" I said warmly, placing a hand over her own. She almost smiled, but found that under the circumstances, she simply could not. But I wanted her to understand how sincere I was. She really was everything to me. She had been from the start. In this moment, I didn't care about anything else. Just being with her made all of life's problems seem… insignificant.
"I promise you that there is absolutely nothing going on between me and Katie." I assured her with a truthful gaze. She sighed again, that being one of only a handful of vocalisations she was capable of, and returned a faint but telling smile. I knew then that she finally believed me.
"I love you, Xena." I whispered with a smile, squeezing her hand tightly. "Not her. You know that, don't you?" She nodded slowly, and though she still appeared quite distraught, it seemed as though she was now beginning to brighten up.
"Come here." I said softly, putting my arm around her shoulder and pulling her towards me in a gentle embrace. She returned the gesture, running her slender fingers across my back as she did so. I would have done the same, but considering she had those… whatever they were all over her back, I opted instead to find a relatively smooth spot and give it a whole-hearted pat. Xena breathed softly, content with the exchange and, presumably, my apology. After a few seconds though, this breathing stopped, and she began to cough yet again. It was at this point that I began to worry.
"Are you alright?" I asked, pulling away from her. She nodded, but was still coughing. This time, though, it was different. It was a heavier, more hacking cough. For several moments, it continued, with her wheezing slightly to catch her breath between each cough.
"Xena?" I said worriedly, putting my hand on her back once again, this time to administer more of a strike than a pat. The coughing continued, louder and louder by the second as she rested her head on my shoulder, so I continued to strike her, trying not to show her just how afraid I was right now. Afraid of what it could be that was doing this to her, that was making her so clearly unwell. Suddenly, she gagged loudly, and I heard the sound of something splattering against the curtains. I turned my head almost immediately, and what I saw made my stomach churn. A huge hole was burning itself into the curtains, surrounded by a bright yellow substance, which was dripping onto the carpet with a distinctive sizzle.
"Jesus Christ!" I yelled in a panic, turning back to Xena as she prepared to do the same again. "Katie! Katie, I need help! It's okay, Xena. It's alright." She began to convulse uncontrollably, and suddenly threw up more of the yellow liquid, which this time fell straight to the floor, burning into the carpet beneath our feet. I myself was shaking violently at this point, clueless and utterly terrified at what was happening.
"What's going on?" Katie shouted with concern, running into the room as Xena continued to cough sporadically.
"Just help me get her onto the bed!" I replied, desperately trying to lay her down. "Don't worry, Xena, it's all going to be fine. You'll be fine, alright?" Katie rushed over and helped me to get her under control. Her coughing was beginning to subside now, but she continued to twist and turn involuntarily. I fought desperately to remain calm as I watched her writhing in pain before me, but even so I found tears beginning to stream down my face. Katie was more confused than anything else, though she too appeared quite worried as she tried to restrain Xena on the bed. After several long and painful moments, she finally stopped convulsing. Her coughing had also stopped, and now she breathed heavily. I tried to talk to her, but she did not respond, so I could only conclude that she had passed out. I looked at Katie with tears in my eyes, and she looked back at me in shock. I'd had my doubts about that cough from the start, but I couldn't have possibly imagined that things would get so far out of hand.
Several minutes passed in absolute silence before either of us could bring ourselves to talk again. I was too distressed by what had just happened to start up a conversation, and Katie appeared reluctant to speak for fear of saying the wrong thing. I stared blankly at Xena, now sprawled across the bed unconscious. At least when she was like this she wasn't coughing her guts up, quite literally. I could still hardly believe that things had gotten this bad and I hadn't even had the decency to notice. I glanced over at the curtains, now singed black around the edges of the gaping hole which had been burned into them. I noticed that Katie was doing the same, albeit with a somewhat more confused expression on her face than I had.
"It's blood." I told her, my voice broken and hoarse. "At least, I think it is. Nathan told me- Sorry, the Science and Medical Officer aboard the Archimedes told me… well, he told me that Xenomorph blood was highly corrosive. Xena isn't… she's not a 'pure' specimen, so her blood should be considerably diluted, but most likely still strong enough to melt through fabrics, like the curtain. And the carpet."
"So she was coughing up blood?" Katie asked hesitantly. I simply buried my head in my hands. It did appear that way, didn't it? This was no bug, that was for sure. I'd yet to find a bug whose symptoms included vomiting blood. But if it wasn't a bug, then what was it? What could it possibly be?
"Are you alright?" She continued gently, though this was merely out of sympathy as she must've been able to tell that I clearly wasn't.
"Not really." I told her truthfully, wiping a solitary tear from my left eye. "It's just that… I knew something was wrong with her, Katie. I knew she was ill, and I did nothing about it. And the worst part is, I don't even know why this is happening to her." I stared emptily into Katie's eyes, breathing slowly and deeply. Then, I stared back at Xena, dumbfounded. If only I'd seen this coming, I'd… Well, I'd've at least spent more time with her. I'd've held her in my arms, embraced her, kissed her, showed her so much more affection than I had these last few days and weeks. Right now, I could only hope that whatever she was going through, she would recover for long enough that I could show her just how much she meant to me.
"Katie?" I whispered, my eyes still fixated on Xena. "I think…" But I simply could not bring myself to end that sentence. I bit my lip, almost ready to cry again, though I steeled myself with a few long, deep breaths. Katie leaned across the bed, reaching out to take my hand comfortingly.
"What do you think?" She said quietly. "What is it?" I turned to her and smiled weakly, almost chuckling to myself as I thought again about how utterly stupid I'd been. I felt ashamed that I'd put Xena through this, and also selfish because I didn't deserve to feel ashamed when she was in the position that she was. And yet, here we were. The clueless navigator and his ailing partner. With one solid, viable, and downright horrific conclusion.
"I think she's dying, Katie." I muttered, staring at her with tears in my eyes. And with that inevitable word out in the open, I could contain myself no longer. I took one sharp intake of breath, slumped back in my chair and closed my eyes tightly. And then, and only then, did I allow the tears to pour.