Disclaimer: Anything recognizable belongs to Janet Evanovich, and the rest is mine. I'm grateful she lets us play.
Warning: Dark fic. Adult language, adult content, violence, smut. This is written for mature audiences only.
Chapter 15
Tank's POV
Ranger is a dumb fuck, getting himself hitched to a piece of ass. Didn't he learn from Rachel? That viper played him like a violin, getting knocked up, then tying him to her. He sends an exorbitant amount of money to Miami for his brat, Julie, and her half-siblings. I'm sure Stephanie will have him stuck supporting another brat in no time. Lula, it's time for me to tell Lula that we're moving to Louisiana. She was always good at helping me fuck with Stephanie, at least until Stephanie decided to become a one-woman show. That's why I made a deal with Vinnie. Someone had to get her out of her job.
I can't believe that Ranger would give up everything for a little white girl from the Burg. He's had so many better women. Hell, even Rachel was better. But Stephanie? She's so white, so plain, so crazy. I don't understand what he sees in her. From what Morelli told me, she's a lousy lay.
Why did Lester and Bobby go along with Ranger? For the last year, neither one of them tried to stop me. Well, that's not true. Lester questioned me after Cal and Binky requested their transfer. He became a greater pain in the ass after that moment. I don't understand why Lester was always showing up near Little Girl. Maybe he's tapping her too. Maybe Ranger shares her with his cousin. Those two always did have a weird sense of familiarity.
I knew Steph was trouble when she showed up at Rangeman during the Slayer incident. I thought, for sure, that Ranger was going to make us kick the slut out of his bed, but instead, he told us to let her stay. I wonder if that's when they started to fuck. Morelli says that's when his relationship with Steph started to go downhill. Now, Morelli no longer wants Stephanie, but he doesn't want to see her happy or with Ranger.
The thing that pisses me off the most, however, is that the Core Team, my former brothers-at-arms, think that Stephanie, the incompetent fuck up, is a better warrior than me. I've proven myself on battlefields around the world. I am a man my country has honored and who fellow Soldiers admire. I am an expert in my field, and I inspire other men to rise to my caliber. Little Girl is nothing more than a child playing at a man's game, and she is outclassed at every turn. Ranger is not the leader I thought he was, and I now consider him to be my enemy.
The first thing I need to do, however, is protect my assets. I down another beer and log into my bank account. I have more than five million dollars sitting pretty, and I bet I could sell this house for another million-dollar profit if I needed to. I can do quite well for myself with that kind of cash. Ranger made some bullshit comment about me forfeiting my pay for the past year. Well, let them try. They can't take what they can't find. Once I have the paperwork sent to my bank, I crack open another beer and rub my sore ribs. I think the motherfucker broke one.
Then it dawns on me. Hightailing it to Louisiana, never to be seen or heard from again by Ranger and his cohort, is exactly what they want me to do. Well, fuck him. I'm not going anywhere. Ranger says I proved myself incompetent. Well, we'll see about that.
My first call is to Morelli. While I firmly believe Ranger's leadership will destroy Rangeman, there isn't any harm in my accelerating the process, especially now that we are competitors. I think the easiest way to go is to fuck with the gun permits. Morelli should be able to delay the renewal licenses, allowing for a few of the guys to get arrested. Next, I need to speak to Vinnie. Since I'm going to stay in the area a little longer, I need him to give me all the high bonds. I'll turn them in, building some additional capital to make my move in Virginia with the added bonus that it will be lost income to Rangeman.
Ranger may have specified 200 miles in his fucking contract, but Quantico is 205 miles from Rangeman Trenton. I'll open my own security firm there, drawing talent from the government training facilities there. After it's established, I'll remain headquartered in Quantico but begin doing operations in D.C. I know that's Ranger's long-term goal, but not for another five years. He tried to protect himself with the non-compete clause, but, once again, I'm proving myself to be the better man.
If I manage to destroy the bulk of Rangeman first, all the better. But I'll be the one in D.C., established and thriving before he can make his move. Then we'll see the Mighty Manoso fall to his knees before me. Maybe, I'll let him buy my company, if he's still in business that is, before taking a turn with Stephanie. Since she's only after men with money, she'll slide into my bed the moment I've wiped out Ranger. Once she has me, she won't want that Cuban mother fucker any longer. You know the cliché, once you go black you never go back; well, she'll be mine to toss on the curb for the street rats to enjoy, where she belongs.
Stephanie's POV
Darkness morphs to shadows and muffled sounds begin to form words. My deadened limbs fire to life one nerve ending at a time. Like a freight train approaching, my senses return with the steady emergence of consciousness. Also like a train, as consciousness presses forward, the world around me is increasingly loud, overwhelming, and jumbling with such velocity that I can't immediately make sense of it.
I flutter my eyes open, but it's the hand on my shoulder that registers first. Why is someone touching me? I instinctively move, seeking safer territory.
"Estefania, it's okay," I hear. Hector. I'm scanning the room, trying to orient myself when I feel a tingle shoot down my spine.
"Babe," Ranger says. I feel myself fixate on Ranger, and the flurry in my brain is dampened by his presence. "You're at Rangeman in Bobby's office. You're safe. You have an infection in your knee that spread throughout your body, and you are being treated here," Ranger explains, and I find his voice soothing. His explanation isn't patronizing, and my memories connect with his words. I'm in a safe...
I jump at the sudden sound behind me, cursing myself for being careless with my defenses. I feel more aware of my dress, or lack of it, and I pull the blanket around myself as though it were a shield.
"Mi Angelita, you're safe," Hector says, and I deliberately shift my focus on him. A part of me feels foolish, but I've also slept alone for a long time. To wake up with so much happening around me is too much for me to process, and I am frightened by the disorientation. "Ranger and I are here. Bobby is beside you, and a Physician's Assistant named Alex, my fiancé Jose, and Lester are near the doorway to Bobby's office. That's it. You are okay," Hector states, giving me some much-needed situational awareness. I attempt to put a face to each name, grounding myself.
I let out a slow breath. Trust. Remember, you are choosing to trust. I'm not willing to lower my blanket, but I return my attention to Ranger.
"How are you feeling, Babe?" he asks calmly, but I see him send a cautionary look beyond me. It tells me he has my back, and that he is looking out for me. How am I feeling? I have my left leg curled into my body, but my right one is stiff and remained in front of me. My head hurts. But damn, my bladder is about to burst.
"I need to use the bathroom," I whisper, hating to vocalize this need in front of all of these people, and I feel the heat of my blush bloom across my cheeks.
Ranger looks beyond me again and calls a woman over to him. "This is Alex. The guys will step out, and she will help you with whatever you need," Ranger states in the same steady voice.
"Hello, Stephanie," Alex says kindly. "It's nice to meet you."
Alex has a warmth I can feel even in my uneven state. I glance at Hector and Ranger almost as though looking for permission to trust Alex. Hector gives me a small nod of encouragement. Trust. Ranger and Hector would never hurt me. If they say Alex is okay, I'm willing to give her a chance, especially if it means I don't pee the bed.
Hector gives me a small smile before turning to leave. Ranger is about to follow, and the volume of panic begins to rise. I quickly shift my gaze to him, and I'm holding my breath when he stops. "Stay?" I whisper. I am willing to accept Alex's help, but I know I cannot handle being here alone with a stranger. In the back of my mind, I know Ranger intends to respect my privacy and that he wouldn't be far away, but that's still too far. I have exercised control in everything for the past eight months, and right now, I am not in control. The aura of command he exudes is giving me that same sense of confidence vicariously, and I find myself able to focus more readily with Ranger near.
Ranger moves slightly closer to me and sets his hand on the side of the bed. "Of course, Babe," he says quietly. When the door closes behind Hector, Alex begins to speak, and I find her tone gentle but authoritative.
"If you think you can walk supported, Stephanie, I can assist you to the restroom. Otherwise, I can set you up with a catheter," Alex says. I can't imagine pain big enough that I would choose a catheter over walking if I had any say in it.
"Walk," I state, my eyes narrowing.
"That's what I thought," Alex responds pleasantly. "Would you like me to assist you or Ranger?"
"Ranger, but I will do my business alone," I immediately respond with an edge of challenge.
"Stephanie, given your injury and the medication we've administered, you are at risk of falling. I will need to stay in the restroom with you, but we can turn on the water, and I promise I won't look unless necessary," Alex replies unfazed. "I'll manage your IV line while you turn to step out of bed. Ranger," Alex continues, nodding in Ranger's direction.
I don't like her answer, but it's reasonable, and I'm not in a position to argue lest the catheter become a more viable option. I feel my bladder and muscles groan in protest as I begin to move, but I swallow the pain away and accept Ranger's arm under my shoulders as I stand on my right leg. I feel myself sway and the room spins. I look at the door across the room, and it might as well be a marathon. "Carry me," I tell Ranger, leaning against him heavily.
Without a reply, he deftly slides an arm under my thighs, and I appreciate that he is taking care not to disturb my leg. What would have taken me ten minutes or more takes Ranger ten seconds, and he closes the door behind him before I use the wall as support to sit on the seat and find sweet, sweet relief.
The act of standing and raising my panties again is exhausting work, and I have no idea why Alex looks so thrilled. I lean on her to wash my hands and rinse my face, closing my eyes as I lean against the wall when Alex gets Ranger again.
"Babe," I hear, and I open my eyes to slits to visually confirm his presence before nodding my head in weary agreement. I don't know how long I slept, but I feel completely exhausted, and I'm dead weight in his arms. "I've got you. You're going to be okay," he says in a voice so low, I know it was meant only for me. I'm reasonably sure it wouldn't matter to Alex if she heard what he said or not, but the fact that Ranger kept the message private feels intimate, and the words convey a greater sense of safety.
He sets me on the bed again as lightly as possible and begins to pull the blanket up. I shake my head no. The exertion has left me breathless and sweating.
"I'm going to check your vitals," Alex says from my right, and I fix my attention on her, cooperating easily. She writes down several notes on a pad of paper before addressing me directly again. "Would it be okay with you, Stephanie, if I invited Bobby back in?" she asks with a pleasant smile.
"Sure," I say, pulling the blanket across my lap for modesty's sake. I can't wait to change out of this gown.
I follow Alex's departure from the room with my eyes before looking at Ranger again. He pulled up a chair and is sitting beside me so that we are at eye level. The simple act increases my sense of security an unexpected amount. He's not going anywhere, and him not towering over me decreases my sense of defensiveness. He gives me a small smile, reserved just for me.
My attention immediately transfers to the door when Alex enters with Bobby behind her. He looks chagrined and pulls up a seat next to Ranger. "I'm sorry for startling you, Bomber. I know I need to work on my bedside manner. I'll be more careful in the future," he says sincerely with Alex standing behind him. I wonder what she said to him in the next room, and my interest in Alex has risen. Not many people can positively affect the behavior of anyone at Rangeman.
"Thank you," I reply, and Bobby gives an easy smile in return.
"Alright Stephanie, the good news. Your fever is breaking, and your vitals are stabilizing. You aren't out of the woods yet, but it does mean that the antibiotics seem to be working. We aren't going to ease up on any of our interventions, however, or the progress you've made will certainly slide. At the end of seventy-two hours, if things progress like this, we will be able to take you off of fluids and oxygen and switch to oral antibiotics," Alex says warmly, and I feel a sense of relief wash over me.
"I'm especially heartened that you are able to communicate with us, Steph. Sepsis patients often present with significant mental confusion. I feel we caught the infection early enough that I don't have any concerns about continuing your care here. I can have Ella bring you a light dinner and a set of pajamas if you'd like," Bobby continues, and I let out a slow breath.
"Okay," I say again, quietly.
"I'll do that before heading to bed. Alex will stay with you until 0600, and I'll turnover with her again at 1400," Bobby says, standing. I glance at Ranger.
"2 pm," he says, his eyes warm. "It's 10 pm now."
"Are you in any pain?" Alex asks.
"Yes. Head, knee, and general achiness. About a six, but I don't want any meds that will knock me out right now," I quietly explain as I see a look of concern flash on Ranger's face.
Alex makes a note on her pad. "Alright, Steph. You're due for some ibuprofen, and I will administer that. I'll check in with you again after you change and eat, but please ask me before then if you need anything," she says in the same kind but no-nonsense tone before excusing herself to the next room.
I rest my head against the pillow, letting all tension drop from my shoulders and search Ranger's face. So much has transpired the last twenty-four hours I don't even know where to begin. "Thank you," I say, reaching my hand out to his.
Ranger wraps his fingers around mine with a slight tilt to his head. "No price, Babe," he replies. My heart sinks as slowly exhale a long breath, my posture slouching as I do.
"But I think there might be," I whisper back, and Ranger raises an eyebrow slightly. "The price is my life. You're saving it, again."
Ranger leans forward slightly. "Then we're even, Babe," he says seriously, and it's my turn to look confused. "My heart was closed off before I met you. I lived, but I wasn't alive. You, by being you, gave me back my daughter, helped me to reprioritize my familial relationships over my work, and, most importantly, opened up my heart again. You taught me that I can only love others as much as I love myself, and I have spent this past year making changes to be a better man."
I give Ranger's hand a slight squeeze, words failing as his reverberate inside of me. How much do I love myself? The easy answer is not very much, and I feel a wave of mourning for the person I once was wash over me. I look down as I fight the unexpected tears. "Babe, look at me," Ranger says quietly.
I do as he says, my chin trembling. "What if I lost my ability to love when I killed Farro?" I whisper through my unsteady lips.
Ranger's expression melts, and he slowly reaches up and brushes my hair from my eyes and tucks it behind my ear. "It's not possible, Babe," he says thickly. "I will say it again and again. It doesn't matter to me what you've done, who you've slept with, who you've killed or hurt, or anything else. It matters to me who you are, and you are the best person I know. I love you unconditionally, and I'm not saying that to pressure you in any way. I only want you to know that you are loved and accepted for who you are this very second." I hear him, but I don't.
"There's a rational part of me that agrees with you, and I feel the internal call to change my life and perceptions. But there's another, darker part of me that whispers how evil I am, how unforgivable I am, and I feel ashamed. I feel as though I committed the worst sin, and when I took Farro's life, mine became forfeit with his. I don't feel lovable, and it's why I did so many other things. I tried to mask the pain, and when that failed, validate it. I didn't sleep around, Ranger. I allowed myself to be fucked and beaten as penance because I chose my virtue over another man's life. The worst part is that sometimes I got off on it," I confess directly. He says he loves me, but I don't think he knows who I am anymore. On some level, I know I'm challenging him to see if he'll flinch first. Ranger's compassionate expression doesn't waver, and after studying his face a few moments, I continue in a softer tone.
"Again, I intellectually understand that Farro isn't my fault, that I have the right to protect my body and sexuality, and that I am worthy of love. I hear you when you say that what I've done doesn't matter, and while my heart desperately wants to believe you, I only feel like you can say those things because you don't know the truth. If you did…," I trail off as I single tear drips from the corner of my eye and lands on Ranger's hand.
He gently kisses it away before replying, "I do know, Babe. I know the different ways pain can manifest itself, and I do not judge you. I appreciate the turmoil inside your heart and therapy will help, I promise. In the meantime, please know you are not alone. When you can't see yourself the way those who love you do, it isn't a weakness to lean on us, it's a strength. I'm in awe of how far you've come in twenty-four hours."
I study him again. I've spent the last several months building firm barriers and severing or redefining all of the relationships in my life as a way of strengthening my defenses. There is strength in that, and I'm glad I did some of the things I did. Before Farro, I let myself be used as a doormat by my family, many of my so-called friends, and my community. I considered entering into marriage with a man who constantly disapproved of me and would likely cheat on me during our marriage just because everyone told me that we should be together. In that way, I have begun to value and love myself. I sought training, and I am physically stronger and more capable. I made a decision to no longer let myself be limited by the expectations of others, and in some ways, it was liberating.
However, while my external defense is strong, I'm self-aware enough to recognize that I'm barely holding it together internally. I feel myself running out of the fight, and I know I am losing my sense of self. I have a difficult time reconciling Ranger's words with my view of myself because he comes from a vantage point of good and mine comes from a vantage point of bad. I don't think I can cross that chasm on my own.
Letting Ranger, Hector, Lester, and Bobby into my defenses doesn't mean I have to dismantle my survival system. It means I'm allowing them to stand the watch with me. Just as Alex and Bobby are going to take turns with my care so that neither of them becomes too fatigued, perhaps the same is true with my life. I occasionally let Hector in before, but if what Ranger says is true, strength doesn't have to be a solo endeavor.
"Alright," I say, and Ranger gives me that smile I know is only for me. I glance at the door to Bobby's office as Alex knocks to announce her presence.
"I have the clothes and food. Which would you prefer? Eat then change or change then eat?" Alex states in the same perpetually cheerful voice that manages not to sound condescending or annoying.
"Change," I reply immediately. I hate hospital gowns with a burning passion.
"That's what I would do, too," Alex says, flashing her dimples. "Ranger?" she questions, looking at me.
I shift my attention back to Ranger. He's seen me naked before, but I feel like there is a shift of intimacy happening between us, and I suddenly feel shy about it. "Would you mind stepping out?" I ask.
"No problem. I'll be in Bobby's office," Ranger says, giving my hand the same comforting squeeze before stepping out. I'm again left with the impression he'd rather kiss me, and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
Alex disconnects the IV and oxygen lines so that I can shift out of the robe. She offers me several warm washcloths and personal products to clean up, and the act of being cleaner and smelling like the fragrances of my bathroom items is comforting. The pajamas and underpants are new, and no doubt I have Ella to thank for them. Alex helps me slide on a pair of dark purple sleeping shorts and matching short sleeved button up top. The fabric is delectably soft cotton, and between the pajamas and resting on an actual bed, I feel more comfortable that I have in months. I'm not even coughing as much, and I hadn't realized how heavy my chest felt until my airways began to open again.
Even still, I feel fatigued and achy when we are done and appreciate it when Alex tucks the plush blanket around me again. She pulls a small table close and sets a tray of soup, crackers, and sliced banana on it. Ella placed a bright pink mum in a vase in the corner, and I can't help but quirk a smile at the thoughtfulness. "Shall I invite Ranger back in?" Alex asks as she finishes taking my temperature and blood pressure. I nod my head yes while stifling a yawn.
A second later, Ranger is sitting beside me again, his hand gently holding mine. "I'm continuing to see some improvement," Alex says, "but I can also see that you are hurting."
"Yeah, I'm ready for some meds," I say reluctantly.
"Good idea. Your body needs to rest and heal. I'll administer the medicine, and you eat. The food will help prevent your stomach from getting upset and help you regain your strength," Alex directs, and Ranger immediately complies by picking up the soup bowl and passing it to me with a napkin underneath.
I feel the slight burn of medicine through the IV and begin to sip the broth. A few minutes later, I hurt considerably less, and I find myself losing the battle to keep my eyelids open. I jerk my head up when I feel the weight of the soup bowl lifted from my hands.
"You're okay, Babe," Ranger says gently, offering me a cracker.
I take it and work on staying away by focusing on him.
"Is Hector still awake?" I ask.
"Probably," Ranger replies with a hint of curiosity.
"I hate that he left when I was still out of sorts. I'd like him to know I'm doing better," I say quietly.
"I'll send him a text. Would you like to speak with him yourself?" Ranger offers, pulling out his phone.
I nod yes. "Wait, did I hear Hector say, fiancé?" I follow up, my interest perking me up.
Ranger smiles, confirming, "Yes, you did. Jose Lopez."
"Wow," I whisper, meeting Ranger's smile before taking another bite.
"Where are you going to sleep?" I ask him, knowing I won't be able to stay awake beyond Hector's visit.
Ranger shrugs. "In the chair. I'm not going anywhere, Babe," he says.
"I don't sleep very well," I start shyly, looking down at my hands. "Last night, well, that was the most I've slept in months. I think it's because you were there." I begin to chew my bottom lip as I nervously weigh my options. "Will you lay beside me again?" I push out in a brave rush.
Ranger places a finger under my chin and gently lifts my head so that I'm looking at him. My lips are pressed together, and I'm surprised by the sudden burst of anxiety that causes my tears to blur my vision.
"Yes, Babe, and you always have the option of asking me to move back to the chair again for any reason. I'll do so without hesitation or judgment. I'm glad you asked me, and I sleep better with you, too," Ranger says reassuringly. I quickly nod my head, yes, several times and wipe my eyes with the back of my hand.
"Come here," I whisper, and when Ranger leans forward, I wrap my arms around his chest. I smell a hint of Bulgari mingled with his scent, and I close my eyes as I breathe it in. I feel the tingle I only get from Ranger race down my spine, and the warmth of calm spreads outward to my fingertips and toes. I listen to the beating of his heart, and it's a cadence of strength, acceptance, and peace. "Thank you," I say quietly.
"Anytime, Babe," Ranger says, his voice slightly deeper than usual. I break the hug first and settle my head against the pillow. I'm grateful for the incline of the back of the bed as is helping my coughing and breathing. Ranger stands when there is a knock at the door, opening it to invite Hector and Jose in.
"Hola, mi hermano," I say as Hector sits in the seat Ranger vacated. (Hello, my brother.)
"Hola, mi hermana," Hector says, a soft look on his usually impassive expression.
"Thank you for everything, Hector," I say simply, knowing these words aren't anything more than a start. Hector gives me a small smile in return. "A fiancé?" I question, attempting to raise my eyebrow and failing.
Hector nods proudly and glances over his shoulder at Jose, who immediately walks over and pulls up a chair beside Hector. I stare at him a moment before I have my eureka moment. "The bar," I state, a smile spreading as I look between the two of them.
"Si, Estefania," Hector says. "It was new, and I wasn't sure of myself, but I wanted to introduce you."
"I enjoyed meeting you then, and I'm looking forward to getting to know you better now," I say, looking directly at Jose. "You are marrying one of the best."
"Yes, I am," Jose says warmly, smiling in return. "I also enjoyed that day as well, and I'm cheering for you and your recovery as well. I think we will be great friends."
"Congratulations," I say again before yawning. "I think we will be as well."
Hector and Jose stand. "Good night, Angelita. Thank you for letting me see you," Hector says as he and Jose take their leave.
"Do you need anything else before bed, Babe?" Ranger asks, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Bathroom, please," I say, and Ranger leaves to get Alex. We repeat the same process as before, but it goes much quicker this time. When Ranger lays me down, it's in a position slightly left of center. The bed is full sized rather than twin to accommodate the larger frames of most Rangemen, and I think it might be larger than my futon. The sheets are certainly better.
"Get some sleep, Stephanie. I'll be checking your vitals every hour, but it's fine to ignore me, and if I do my job, you won't even notice. Bobby will take over at 6 am, but I'll be available anytime you would prefer help from a woman. Don't worry about me or if I've slept. I can take care of myself, okay," Alex says with more seriousness than I've heard from her.
"Okay," I reply, relieved I won't have to have Bobby help me in the bathroom. Alex is awkward enough. Alex departs, dimming the lights behind her and partially closing the door. I hear Ranger remove his weapons and belt, placing several items on a counter across the room.
"Are you sure, Babe?" he asks from beside me.
I open my eyes slightly to see him looking down at me with concern. "I'm sure," I say, reaching my hand out towards him and closing my eyes again. The bed sags beside me as Ranger lays down, careful not to jerk or bump my body. My knee and chest are much more comfortable with me resting on my back, the head of the bed still at an incline, but I turn my head towards Ranger so that my forehead rests on his and place my hand on his thigh.
I quickly begin to slide into sleep, but not before I hear, "Good night, Babe. I love you."
A/N: This must be the best fandom. I'm floored and humbled by the number of favorites and follows this story has garnered. To those who consistently review and support my story – muchas gracias. To those several new voices who popped up to lend their support and encouragement – I'm so happy you are reading, and I love hearing from you. To daxandpat and ThePartyParrot, it is a lot of fun for me to read your chapter by chapter reviews as you catch up on the story. This story has the highest rate of reviews per chapter of anything I've written, and I'm so thankful for your continued, vocal, support.
Misty23y is my beta extraordinaire. She is also a co-author of Tank's POV, helping to make sure his voice is unique and repulsive. Melyons is my medical advisor extraordinaire. She helped me adjust several details to help me make Steph's experience more realistic. Thanks, Babes!